#THEYRE ALWAYS AGED UP WHEN I USE THE ATLA TIMELINE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captain-of-the-roses · 4 years

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Weird things Me and Dad said while talking about RWBY:

Dad: Here's my theory.

Me: Take two.

Dad: Ruby. Silver eyes. Summer realizes this and goes to Ozpin. Ozpin tells Summer about Jinn.

Me: So Summer and Raven join forces?

Dad: Not unlikely. Raven would want something in return tho.

Me: Raven is like "Ya ok but what do I get out of this" and Summer goes "You'll get answers." And Raven says "Sounds sus but ok."

Dad: Ya. So they go to Mistral, open the vault, ask Jinn about why Silver eyes are being hunted, and get their answer.

Me: Raven just nopes out of there like "I ain't ever going back" while Summer goes "Welp. Time to get myself killed."

Dad: Ya, probably. Raven leaves and Summer tries to Kamahamaha Salem with her silver eyes but dies trying.

Dad: Winter is going to kill Ironwood. Sword right through the throat.

Dad: Teah brought something up earlier-

Me: Was it the taco thing?

Mom: Taco thing?

Dad: It was not the taco thing.

Me: Oscar uses the staff and says "Spooky Spooky give us back the husband" to bring back Ozma. "Please help we have your wife and we don't know what to do with her we are sorry."

Dad: If anyone hurts a hair on Penny's head I will kill everyone and them myself.

Dad: Kill off Qrow. And Robynn. Just for the shock value.

Me: Do it infront of the kids, cause they see him as a father figure.

Dad: Yes. Do it at the end. Right after Salem is purged of her Grimm self by the silver eyes-

Me: -if the group is smart enough to figure that out-

Dad: -and have it happen unexpectedly.

Me: Do it right at the end of the volume. Have everyone's shocked faces and then cut off the season. Have Raven and Tai and Zwei portal in to and watch Qrow die. The Happy Huntresses are there for Robynn.

Mom: No! Dont kill off Qrow.

Me: Or wait for Qrow to die. Do it after Vacuo when he's adopted CFVY and the Beacon students there.

Dad: No, because, as much as I love Qrow, he's had his arc now its death time. Just have the fandom cannibalize itself.

Dad: Ozpin is hiding much more then we know. He knows too much.

Me: Is that part of the reason why he lied about the no more lies amd halftruths things? Because he knew Yang and everyone else was keeping lies and telling half truths?

Dad: Yes!

Me: Listen, Robynn has fingerless gloves. Who else has fingerless gloves? Coco and Yang. What do Yang and Coco have in common? Theyre both lesbians. Therefore, Robynn is Lesbian.

Mom: I still headcanon they are both bi.

Me: Robynn litteraly runs an army of women, Mom.

Dad: Alright, I'm not gonna interfere with your shipper logic.

Dad: I headcanon Hot Chocolate was invented during the Great War and the King of Vale tried it and was all like "This is good. I'm gonna drink it for the rest of my life." And when he was put into Ozpin Ozpin was "I have the sudden urge for Hot Chocolate."

Me: Poor Oscar.

Me: I still like your theory that Oscar has a mimicry semblance.

Dad: If they don't unlock Oscar's semblance as the ability to act as someone else and no one says "Give this man an award" I will riot.

Dad: Oz is going to have his ideal happy ending, right? What does he want most in the world? Death.

Me: Ooh, fun.

Me: I never understood why heroes do the motivational speech. Like, if someone went up to me and said "Hey wanna fight an evil organization and stop the end of the world for the good of humanity" I would be like "No thanks." But if someone came up to me and said "Wanna go fight a guy?" I would immediatly say yes.

Dad: See, that's the same thing. You just worded it differently. You got to appeal to your audience. In any case, Ruby isnt going to be able to unite humanity against Salem. Salem, however, could do something so bad that humanity turns agaisnt her without leadership. Because when someone gives a motivational speech there is always that one person that goes "BuT wHaT iF-" or when the fight begins someone says "wElL aCtUaLlY-" like no shut up.

Dad: Salem is going to be taken care of this season, and Cinder will go in Volume 9. The bad guy if Volume 10, in Vale, with be the Brothers.

Me: Figures.

Me: The staff of creation just summons a bunch of ghosts in suits discussing how to take down Salem.

Dad: a staff meeting, ha!

Me: Like Summer and Pyrrha are there in suits-

Dad: And all of the Oz incarnations. Just like "you got them in your head to?" "Yep." "Same."

Me: Do you think after they free Salem of her Grimm self she'll join the gang?

Dad: No-

Me: That's sad.

Me: *trying to explain the Oz timeline and where the Infinite Man fits in*

Dad: *nodding in obvious confusion*

Dad: Did Ozma 2.0 and Salem have a son?

Me: Diggs and Salem had four daughters. One for each season. Spring, Winter, Summer, Fall. Color coordinated and everything.

Dad: They arent going to have a happily ever after. What's going to happen is the brothers are going to view humanity as a disaster. With 3 out of 4 of the nations being in ruin, they won't see humanity as being united even if everyone worked together to defeat the final boss. So they are going to let Oz and Salem die and then send RWBY, JNPR, CFVY, ect. back to before Salem went batshit crazy-

Me: The first time or Atlas?

Dad: The first time. So they are going to stop Salem from jumping into craziness. Get it, because she jumped into the pools-

Me: I get it.

Dad: It wont be a HAPPY happy ending but there is no saving Remnant. It was a punishment anyways and Salem already won.

Me: Why cant they just put Atlas on top of the Pools of Grimm?

Dad: Because then Salem will have a giant flying castle.

Me: She already has a castle. And she has a flying whale Grimm. Just put the castle on top of the whale and BOOM! Flying castle.

Dad: I still think Jaune's sword is the Sword of Destruction. Nothing in this show happens without purpose.

Me: No, everything has a purpose, just some things get forgotten and/or ignored.

Me: The group is going to be those parents that when their kid says they don't want to do homework go "When I was your age-"

Dad: Like "When I was your age I stopped an evil monster!"

Me: "I killed my Collage Professor's evil ex wife!" Nora is going to be telling her and Ren's kids the battle of Atlas. "We were alone facimg against an army of Grimm!"

Dad: Its going to play out as Nora telling the group the Beowulf story with Ren correcting her. "We were hopelessly outnumbered." "We weren't." "Surrounded by an army of Beowulfs." "There were two."

Me: "The middle of the night!" "It was the afternoon."

Dad: Ren just resigns himself to spending his life correcting Nora's story telling.

Me: She's telling her kids stories-

Dad: And Ren is just in the kitchen making tea.

Me: Nora goes "Our teacher's wife invaded mantle with thousands of Grimm! The Jellyfish were invading Mantle!" "They were floating in the sky." "We were farther apart then ever-"

Dad: "We were a block away."

Me: "The General.... Was Ironwooding." The rest of the group comes over with their kids. Nora is screaming about the story and Ruby and Yang join in. Ren and Weiss correcting them.

Dad: Blake is in the corner drinking tea.

Me: She looks up and goes "This is great tea." Meanwhile Ren is still busy correcting Nora.

Dad: "But they didnt know we had a secret weapon... A 20 foot laser eyed robot!" "She was 4' 8""

Me: Oscar comes over one day and says "Remember that one time I was shot off Atlas by James and fell and broke my aura falling down to Mantle." And everyone is like no??? Cause with the way things are going, he's not going to tell them.

Dad: Qrow is just upstairs banging his cane on the ground like "Keep it down I'm trying to sleep!"

Me: I love how we assume Qrow lives with them.

Dad: Of course he does. Where else would he stay?

Me: Tai.

Dad: Qrow is that old nuisance who lives with them.

Me: He's an old bird half the time just chilling on everyone's shoulders. How would the rest of the group be paired up? The only canon ship we got is Renora.

Dad: What Salem did with bringing back Ozma was essentially the 'Go to ask Dad. Dad gave you an answer you did not like. Go to Mom. Mom says yes. Parents start fighting and punish the kid."

Me: If Salem had gone to the younger brother, or in this case, mom, she wouldve gotten what she wanted and there would be a war on the Brother's hands cause the older couldn't punish Salem and could only argue against the younger.

#weird things my family has said #we are coming up with theories for Volume 8 of RWBY #it got out of hand

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