#The unjustified Donna hate is a pet peeve

[thatseventiesbitch]

My Reddit essays (Pt 1)

[On fans accusing Donna of being toxic in her relationship, or bad to Eric]

Eric very much became a shell of his former self in season 7. To me, it seems the writers/showrunners didn't know how to handle TG's impending departure from the show. They had Eric/Donna's wedding collapse because they were afraid to write a married Eric/Donna in season 7, and then have to deal with writing off one half of the married couple after TG left the show. So instead we got the weird plots they came up with for him for season 7, to lead to his eventual ending in Africa. I agree that it's frustrating to watch. It's why I don't watch season 7 a lot - and season 8 almost never.

I do feel that a lot of people write off the way Eric treats Donna in the later seasons, though, and that's not really fair. We can dislike the plot all we want, but it's just as much a part of their relationship history and dynamic as any episode from season 4. Eric leaves Donna at the altar... and she forgives him INCREDIBLY easily. Eric is really selfish when he decides to go to Africa - he doesn't talk to his partner about moving overseas for a year, and then is all ????? when she's upset at him for it. But once again, Donna forgives him and promises to wait for him. She comes around and is supportive - goes with him to get his vaccines, gets him a going-away present, drives him to the airport. And then when he gets to Africa? The dillhole breaks up with her in a letter.

Writing that all out gives me pause. Like, shit, ya'll really think Donna is the toxic one here? Hmm. In the early part of their relationship they were teenagers, high schoolers who were both learning how to be in a relationship for the first time and making mistakes. This is how Eric was acting when they were grown.

We haven't even talked about

The David Milbank episode, where Eric implies he only spent time with Donna as a friend so he could one day date her/he values her for her body not as a person

The several times throughout the show (S3xE7 Baby Fever and the S6 episode when they thought she was pregnant) that Eric made comments about how he expects her to stay home and raise their children, even though he knows this is definitely not what she wants

The SAT episode, where he loses his shit and has an inferiority complex meltdown because she scored higher than he did.

I'm gonna stop, because Eric is actually my favorite character too and now I'm getting pissed at him.

I still don't see what you see, in terms of Donna treating Eric poorly at any point in the series. I do not think Donna was a perfect girlfriend by any means. She had some moments that were bad, selfish moments (like all of the characters did) but they were pretty few and far between. The criticism I see of her most often on this subreddit is that she overreacts or gets upset at Eric for insignificant things. And that's just not what I see. In each example in this thread, I've explained how Eric played an equal role in the conflict. He, just like Donna, was in his first relationship and made some mistakes as he figured it out. In most of their conflicts, they were both at fault and they both realized it in the end. That's what I enjoyed about their relationship.

I also see criticism that Donna's a hypocrite or never apologizes, and that's also just not what I see. Donna apologizes a lot. She makes mistakes a lot, but she usually realizes it by the end of the episode and apologizes or admits to her role in the situation. A few examples:

S4xE5 "Bye Bye Basement" - Donna is being mean to Eric after their break-up. He calls her a bitch and Donna reflects, and asks their friends if they agree with him. They do. She realizes she's got lingering feelings left over from their break-up and that's why she's lashing out at Eric. She goes to him and apologizes for the way she’s been acting.

S4xE7 "Uncomfortable Ball Stuff" - Donna yells at Eric after seeing him kiss a girl on their date-that-wasn't-a-date to the Pricemart Ball. This was hypocritical of her. But she know it, and comes over the next day to apologize.

S4xE27 "Love Wisconsin Style" - When Donna gets dumped by Casey she comes back to Eric. A lot of people focus on how she asked him to take her back and whether Eric was right or wrong not to do so. But what Donna actually said first was, "I'm so sorry" - seeming to take responsibility for their break-up/year apart/the whole Casey situation. It also seems like she's about to go into that subject more/apologize again in S5xE1 "Going to California" when she and Eric are in the back of the van. She says, "Eric about Casey, and all that stuff -" but he cuts her off and says he doesn't care.

S6xE17 "Happy Jack" - After she catches Eric in the bathroom, lol, she forgives him at the end of the episode. She says she knows the celibacy thing was her idea and it's been really hard, so she accepts some responsibility for the odd and disgusting things he does.

S2xE20 "Kiss of Death" - Donna is initially really mad at Eric for accidentally killing her cat and then lying to her about it. As I type that I'm like... yeah, girl, I fucking would be too!? But after she talks to Jackie she puts it in perspective and at the end of the episode she's reflected and she tells him that she knows he only lied because he didn't want to hurt her.

S2xE6 “Eric’s Panties” - This is the episode where Donna finds panties in Eric’s car and jumps to the conclusion he cheated on her, but they were actually Midge’s (from her hook-up with Bob). At the end of the episode she apologizes to Eric, says she knows she made an ass out of herself, and (at his insistence lol) says she knows he’s hot enough to get other girls.

S6xE21 “5:15″ - After the Mitch-wedding fiasco, Donna lets Eric gloat and point out that he was right and she was wrong, even though she doesn’t seem thrilled to be wrong. She’s then supportive of Eric beating up Mitch, and tries to help him by telling him not to do the Forman death-grip because it doesn’t really hurt (lol).

I. Could. Keep. Going!!!

Donna is not a perfect character, but most of the time in she and Eric's fights or conflicts, she is not acting unreasonably and/or Eric is also acting unreasonably. She's also a very reflective character. She has no problems apologizing or admitting she wasn't right about something, and she does so over and over again in her relationship with Eric.

I don't know why so many people are just predisposed to want to hate her, but I don't think those people are watching the series with an objective eye. I have lots of theories on why Donna's a lighting rod for male hate. But that's quite a different topic.

**There have been some fascinating discussions on reddit lately. Bringing my thoughts over here to my T70S blog!**

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #T70S #Eric and Donna #Eric x Donna #Eric Forman #Donna Pinciotti #My Essays #thatseventiesbitch #In Defense of Donna #I had time today #The unjustified Donna hate is a pet peeve #Cant you tell?