#To be fair I’ve known things with the then-boyf weren’t going well for a Very Long Time

[littlebirdy0301]

I am newly single and already have caught feelings for someone, debating if that’s a bit awful or not lmao

#To be fair I’ve known things with the then-boyf weren’t going well for a Very Long Time #We love each other so much but just aren’t compatible as a couple anymore #So I think I started grieving our relationship a long time ago #And dealt with the heartbreak a little at a time over a long period of time #Honestly the biggest things that made me want to keep trying were the family & beautiful future that we talked about having together- #And the fear of losing him as a friend because I have a hard time staying close with friends #But over time I’ve let go of the potential future we would’ve had. And now I can officially confirm that we’ll stay best friends #The last giant chunk of our relationship was already just a very strong platonic friendship #So all that’s changing is the label and any romantic expectations that weren’t matching up #Our needs and wants were too far apart for either of us to be happy or comfortable meeting in the middle #So yeah I knew the relationship was ending long before I accepted it #And in the last few weeks I recognized I was getting feelings for a very charming classmate in our costuming class #I just didn’t know if it was genuine feelings or me missing having romantic aspects in my relationship & projecting those feelings #But now I do think I’m into him #He’s just so darn charming #The thing that really pushed it was when another classmate was sad about the guy she was talking to ghosting her- #And we were all comforting her saying she deserved better & all that #And he had a response that was just so kindhearted and genuine #At the time it just felt on the same level of when I have a crush on a fictional character #Like “oh I just think they’re neat :)” and not meaning anything irl #I’m a cereal monogamist. I would never ever think about anything happening while in a relationship #But now I’m not in a relationship and that admiration for him are still there #And his smile can light a gosh darn room I swear #We smile at each other whenever we pass by & make eye contact n when he smiled and waved at me I thought “fuck I do like him huh” #So yeah that was today #But it feels way too soon after literally just getting out of a 3 year relationship #But I would love to platonically hang out with him and get to know each other #I feel like I’m supposed to be single for awhile #Even though I’ve mentally done all my mourning of that relationship #But it didn’t actually end until very recently