Y’all wanna know something that is sort of baffling to me about cars? How few manufacturers there actually are.
Take a moment to think about all the dealerships in your town, and how many brands there are. Ford, Chevrolet, GMC, Buick, Cadillac, Jeep, Dodge, BMW, Volkswagen, Mercedes-Benz, Volvo, Fiat, Audi, Mazda, Kia, Hyundai, Toyota, Nissan, Honda, Lexus, Chrysler, Mini, maybe if you’re feeling fancy Porsche, Jaguar, Alfa Romeo, Land Rover, Maserati. The list does indeed go on.
What if I told you that in that list, there are only 12 parent companies?
Reasonably speaking there are about 47 brands (or makes) of car currently being sold new in the US, with a handful of other brands that are discontinued and no longer being manufactured, and a few small electric vehicle brands that are standalone. For all of those, there are 17 parent companies.
Those parent companies are:
Hyundai Motor Company
Nissan (technically the Renault-Nissan-Mitsubishi Alliance)
Jaguar Land Rover
Honda Motor Company
Stellantis
Volkswagen Group
General Motors
BMW AG
Toyota Group
Ford Motor Company
Zhejiang Geely Holding Group
Mercedes-Benz AG
Karma Automotive
Tesla, Inc.
Aston Martin
McLaren Group
Ferrari
With one special shout-out to Amazon getting a stake in Rivian alongside Ford.
Ready to know just how interconnected this shit is? I’m going to put this breakdown under the cut because it’s going to get long and annoying. But interesting in my humble opinion. I’m going to put each make of vehicle listed with their parent company, and list the current models as well. Plus some commentary because I can’t help myself. Here we go
Hyundai Motor Company
Hyundai
Current models are the Venue, Kona, Tucson, Santa Cruz, Santa Fe, Palisade, Ioniq 5, Nexo, Accent, Elantra, Sonata, Ioniq 6, and Veloster.
Kia
Current models are the Soul, Seltos, Sportage, Sorento, Carnival MPV, Telluride, Niro, EV6, Rio, Forte, K5, and Stinger
Genesis
This entire make actually started as the Hyundai Genesis, a single model of vehicle, but is now its own thing. Because it’s a luxury brand, the names are kind of annoying, as you’ll see further down the list. Those current models are the G80, G70, G90, GV60, GV70, and GV80.
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Nissan
Nissan
Current models are the Kicks (formerly Juke), Rogue, Rogue Sport, Murano, Pathfinder, Armada, ARIYA, Versa, Sentra, Altima, LEAF, Maxima, Nissan Z, GT-R, Frontier, and Titan.
Mitsubishi
Current models are the Outlander, Eclipse, and Mirage.
Infiniti
Current models (and this is a luxury brand, so lots of numbers and leters) are the Q50, Q60, QX50, QX55, QX60, and QX80.
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Jaguar Land Rover
Honestly you’re never gonna guess this one
Jaguar
One of the luxury brands with fewer annoying names in my opinion. Current models are the F-Pace, E-Pace, I-Pace, F-Type, and XF.
Land Rover
Another luxury brand with slightly less annoying names. Current models are the Range Rover, Range Rover Sport, Range Rover Velar, Range Rover Evoque, Discovery, Discovery Sport, and Defender.
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Honda Motor Company
Honda
Current models are the HR-V, CR-V, Pilot, Passport, Civic, Accord, Odyssey, Ridgeline, with the Prologue coming sometime in 2024.
Acura
Current models are the Integra, TLX, NSX Type S, RDX, MDX, NSX GT3 Evo22 which is a racing car, and the ZDX coming sometime in 2024.
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Stellantis
Alfa Romeo
Total of three whole models currently in production (kinda.) Currently available are the Stelvio and Giulia, both with Quadrifoglio packages, with the Tonale coming in the spring. Shoutout to the 4C and 4C spider because those are coupes and they’re nice although no longer actively being made
Chrysler
Current models are the Chrysler 300, Pacifica, with the 300C coming sometime next year. Shoutout to the Town & Country though.
Dodge
Current models are the Charger, Challenger, and Durango, but another special shoutout to the Grand Caravan.
Fiat
Don’t buy these. They, much like Jeeps, break all the time to the point there’s a joke that “Fiat” stands for “Fix it again, Tony.” Anyway, the only current model is the Fiat 500x, but you can still find the 124 Spider, 500, 500 Abarth, 500c, 500c Abarth, 500e, and 500L around.
Jeep
Also don’t buy these. They spend more time in the shop than on the road. Current models are the (Grand) Wagoneer (which is ugly as hell imo), Grand Cherokee, Wrangler, Compass, Gladiator, and Renegade.
Maserati
Common knowledge is these are also garbage cars, and you’re paying for the name. Current models are the Grecale, Levante, Ghibli, Quattroporte, and MC20.
Ram
Current models are the 1500, 2500, 3500, Chassis Cab, and ProMaster. These are all trucks, and while they used to be part of the Dodge lineup (which is why you’ll still see Dodge Rams around or hear people refer to them as such), they have become their own brand aimed mostly at professionals in construction and transportation.
Defunct: Plymouth, although it was only owned by Chrysler at the time it suspended operations. The history of who owns what in this particular line up of brands is really complicated.
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Volkswagen Group
Audi
One of the more annoying naming conventions, in line with other luxury brands of the same price range. Current models are the e-tron, e-tron Sportback, e-tron S, e-tron S Sportback, e-tron GT, RS e-tron GT, Q3, Q4 e-tron, Q4 Sportback e-tron, Q5, Q5 Sportback, SQ5, SQ5 Sportback, Q7, SQ7, Q8, SQ8, RS Q8, A3, S3, RS 3, A4, A4 allroad quattro, S4, A5 coupe, S5 coupe, RS 5 coupe, A5 Sportback, S5 Sportback, RS 5 Sportback, A5 Cabriolet, S5 Cabriolet, A6, S6, A6 allroad quattro, RS 6 Avant, A7, S7, RS 7, A8, S8, TT coupe, TTS coupe, TT Roadster, R8 coupe, and R8 Spyder.
Bentley
As with higher luxury brands, there aren’t a ton of models. Currently in production are the Bentayga, the Continental GT, and the Flying Spur.
Lamborghini
In line with the above, we only have three models. The Aventador, Huracan, and Urus. (Hot tip: the Urus, their only SUV, is on the same exact platform as the Audi Q7, Audi Q8, Bentley Bentayga, Porsche Cayenne, and Volkswagen Touareg. So, rather than spend $225,500 on a Urus, go and get yourself a Cayenne or Panamera witht he same engine in it for half the price, or if you’re after the interior and space, a Q7 or Q8 $60k, or a Touareg for something like $20k.)
Porsche
Porsche my beloved. I will never say a single bad thing about this brand. Other than the fact that sometimes their naming conventions, particularly for their coupes, cane get a little confusing. Nonetheless, current models include the 718, 911, Taycan (which is all electric, which surprised me, tbh), Panamara, Macan, and Cayenne. However, you start seeing the confusing naming conventions once you get into all the options. See, my mom drives a Boxter. But, do I have any idea if it’s a 718 or a 911? No. So, a further breakdown of the models:
718 models: Cayman, Boxter, Cayman Style Edition, Boxter Style Edition, Cayman T, Boxter T, Cayman S, Boxter S, Cayman GTS 4.0, Boxter GTS 4.0, Cayman GT4, Spyder, Cayman GT4 RS.
911 models: Carrera, Carrera T, Carrera Cabriolet, Carrera 4, Carrera 4 Cabriolet, Carrera S, Carrera S Cabriolet, Carrera 4S, Carrera 4S Cabriolet, Targa 4, Targa 4S, Carrera GTS, Carrera GTS Cabriolet, Carrera 4 GTS, Carrera 4 GTS Cabriolet, Targe 4 GTS, 911 Edition 50 Years Porsche Design, Turbo, Turbo Cabriolet, Turbo S, Turbo S Cabriolet, GT3, GT3 with Touring Package, GT3 RS, Sport Classic
Taycan models: Taycan, 4 Cross Turismo, 4S, 4S Cross Turismo, GTS, GTS Sport Turismo, Turbo, Turbo Cross, Turbo S, Turbo S Cross
Panamera models: Panamera, Platinum Edition, 4, 4 Edition, 4 Executive, 4 Sport Turismo, 4S, 4S Executive, 4S Sport Turismo, 4 E-Hybrid, 4 E-Hybrid Platinum Edition, 4 E-Hybrid Executive, 4 E-Hybrid Sport Turismo, 4S E-Hybrid, 4S E-Hybrid Executive, 4S E-Hybrid Sport Turismo, GTS, GTS Sport Turismo, Turbo S, Turbo S Executive, Turbo S Sport Turismo, Turbo S E-Hybrid, Turbo S E-Hybrid Executive, Turbo S E-Hybrid Sport Turismo
Macan models: Macan, T, S, GTS
Cayenne models: Cayenne, Platinum Edition, Coupe, Coupe Platinum Edition, E-Hybrid, E-Hybrid Platinum Edition, E-Hybrid Coupe, E-Hybrid Coupe Platinum Edition, S, S Platinum Edition, S Coupe, S Coupe Platinum Edition, GTS, GTS Coupe, Turbo, Turbo Coupe, Turbo S E-Hybrid, Turbo S E-Hybrid Coupe, Turbo GT
Could these be condensed to trim packages? Probably. But they are all listed as individual models.
Volkswagen
Current models are the ID.4, Atlas, Tiguan, Taos, Jetta, Arteon, and Golf, with the ID. Buzz coming 2024 (return of the VW bus!). Special shoutout to the Beetle of course.
Bugatti
Ugh. So, this is stupid and complicated, but ultimately they only have two models, the Chiron and the W16 Mistral. The Veyron doesn’t count if memory serves. At the end of the day these are cars that cost between $2 and $20 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS so don’t even worry about it.
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General Motors
Buick
Current models are the Encore, Envision, and Enclave.
Cadillac
Current models are the XT4, XT5, XT6, Escalade, CT4, and CT5.
Chevrolet
Current models are the Trax, Trailblazer, Equinox, Blazer, Traverse, Tahoe, Suburban, Colorado, Silverado, Bolt, Spark, Malibu, Camaro, Corvette Stingray, and Corvette Z06. Shoutout to the Cruze, tho, I drive one of those
GMC
Current models are the Canyon, Sierra, Terrain, Acadia, Yukon, and the Hummer EV.
Defunct: Hummer (brought back as a model under GMC), Oldsmobile, Pontiac, Saturn
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BMW AG
BMW
Also some annoying names. X1, X3, X4, X5, X6, X7, iX, 2 Series, 3 Series, 4 Series, 5 Series, 7 Series, 8 Series, M3, M5, M8, i4, i7, M4, and Z4. Shoutout to the i3 though you stupid piece of shit golf cart
Mini
Current models are the Electic Hardtop, Hardtop 2 Door, Hardtop 4 Door, Countryman, Clubman, and Convertible.
Rolls-Royce
Because fancy, not a ton of models. Current models are the Spectre, Phantom, Phantom Extended, Cullinan, Ghost, Ghost Extended, and Black Badge.
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Toyota Group
Lexus
Current models are the UX Hybrid, NX, RX, GX, LX, IS, ES, LS, RC, LC, with the RZ 450e coming sometime in the future.
Subaru
I’m like, triple into this brand despite not owning one. I’m a lesbian, I grew up in Lafayette where their factory is one of the biggest employers, and my grandpa actually retired from that factory. Anyway, current models are the Crosstrek, Forester, Outback, Ascent, Solterra, Impreza, Legacy, BRZ, and WRX. Shoutout to the short-lived Baja which they should bring back.
Toyota
Current models are the Crown, Prius, Corolla, Camry, Mirai, GR86, GR Supra, Sienna, Tacoma, Tundra, Sequoia, Highlander, Venza, C-HR, RAV4, Corolla Cross, 4Runner, and bZ4X.
Mazda
Current models are the MX-5 Miata, CX-30, CX-5, CX-50, CX-9, Mazda3, and if you’re in California, the MX-30 EV. Shoutout to the Mazda6, specifically model years 2009-2012, for the gas line spider problem.
Defunct: Scion, Suzuki
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Ford Motor Company
Lincoln
Current models are the Navigator, Aviator, Nautilus, and Corsair, though they have the Star and L100 concept cars listed as well.
Ford
Current models are the Ecosport, Escape, Bronco, Explorer, Edge, Mustang Mach-E, Expedition, Maverick, Ranger, F-150, Mustang, and a handful of commercial vehicles. Shoutout to the Ford Focus and Fiesta.
Rivian*
This is a brand spanking new brand that only technically is owned by Ford. They’re all-electric trucks. The R1T is a standard pickup, and the R1S is totally enclosed; think more like a Chevy Suburban.
Defunct: Mercury
*Shared ownership with Amazon
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Zhejiang Geely Holding Group
Lotus
This is a luxury/performance brand. The only models are the Eletre, Emira, and Evija.
Volvo
Current models are the C40 Recharge, XC40, XC60, XC90, S60, S90, V60, and V90.
Polestar
I did not know this brand existed until like, June of this year. They’re an electric lineup, and their models are the Polestar 1, Polestar 2, and Polestar 3. They only made 1500 Polestar 1s.
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Mercedes-Benz AG
Mercedes-Benz, Mercedes-AMG, and Maybach
I don’t see the point in differentiating between these three. Current models are the GLA, GLB, GLC, EQB, GLE, GLS, EQS, G-Class, A-Class, C-Class, E-Class, S-Class, CLA, CLS, Mercedes-AMG GT, SL Roadster, and AMG One.
Defunct: smart
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Notable standalone makes, meaning they are their own company and don’t have a billion subsidiaries (looking at you, Stellantis)
Aston Martin - luxury brand
McLaren - sports car and racing brand
Ferrari (after briefly being part of Fiat/FCA before it was part of Stellantis) - sports car and racing brand
Karma - weird hybrid sports car that’s like, wildly heavy for what it is?? Cars weigh a lot but that’s a LOT for a sports car.
Tesla - you know.
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Anywhere-But-Here: Amahlia & Johnny, Chapter One
Eyes forward, Amahlia peered through the windshield, raindrops now peppering and traversing the glass.
The deluge was sudden, as if a huge tub of water had just been poured on the KIA Soul, and the car almost seemed to shudder right along with her.
“Shit...that’s just fucking great.”
She was not going to make it in time. She needed that damn medicine. As it was, she could barely think straight to drive, her equilibrium barely hanging on, head spinning as if she’d drank a quart of vodka. She shouldn’t be operating a motorized vehicle, even on a perfectly sunny day, what with the cold from hell that had nearly annihilated any chance of looking like a team player at her new job. She could still hear the palpable skepticism in the voice of her new boss.
“Yes, I guess just come in whenever you’re feeling better...perhaps after a nice bubble bath and play date?”
Gawd, Mariah was such a bitch.
And that sounded about par for the course that was her life since meeting Matthew. She rolled her eyes at even the thought of his name, her mouth forming a sour and unbecoming rainbow.
With sullen resolve, she pushed the car on, the darkness and curtain of rain so thick that she could feel it bearing down. “Please, please, please.”
The sign was already dark when she crested the final valley and pursuant hill. “No! Dammit!”
She was a solitary swearer, the words daggers to be pointed only towards outer space, and mirrors.
An all night pharmacy would have been nice right about now, but it was not meant to be. That’s what happens when you move away from most signs of life. No longer was it quite so convenient to get what you might be in need of quickly. She did not miss much about her big city roots, except that. And now, back to the woods we go. Try again tomorrow. Or perhaps, Margie would be in there and have a heart...well, maybe not a heart, but some sympathy...or at least a fondness for accruing a few more dollars in the cash register.
*****
The time had gotten away from him again. The bar was due to close an hour ago. No one had noticed.
“Closing time.”
“You didn’t even call for a last call.” He blinked, frost settling on the Caribbean blue pools of his eyes, peering at the objector without life.
“Yeah, I did,” he lied pleasantly, slamming down the tip jar in melodious demand, change grinding across the bottom of the galvanized tin.
The patrons groaned, grimaced, and shuffled themselves off of rickety bar-stools and across a grimy floor, once a soft ivory, and now a cleachy peach.
“It’s been a real pleasure. Take care, old timer. Never change,” he trailed off as the door croaked to almost closed.
“Fuck--off,” he muttered to the empty room.
He wiped down the counter with a brisk lack of care, then, traipsed towards the door, reaching for the handle to pull it shut, no easy task for the hinges had obviously given up long ago. Someone pushed on the door in just that moment, and life suddenly flared in his eyes in the guise of anger, and he instantly made the decision to yank it back open in a feral gesture of annoyance.
A gasp from the startled person on the other side, now tumbling forward towards him. Unsympathetic, he quickly stood back, knob still in hand.
“We’re closed.”
He would sorely regret not taking the opportunity to cop a cheap feel in the name of preventing her fall, for when the person, evidently a woman, managed to catch herself swiftly, and with expert grace, she rose to her full height, barely over five feet, and fixed him with the most politely cold stare that he had ever been subjected to.
“Thanks,” she said with smoldering and succinct precision, as if she had stabbed a knife into his gut. “I just needed to use a phone, if that would be at all possible.”
Her eyes were a steely grey, and almost lavender as a flash of lightning lit up the doorway, the lashes framing them plentiful and charcoal black. “What for?” His words were out of his mouth before he could think to call them back, and then, he remembered himself, and was glad that they had. Let her be on the defense. He wasn’t interested. She looked far too young for him anyway, by at least a good decade. Besides, what good was a woman. He took in her shapely legs, clad in black leggings, underneath a fitted tunic. Well, maybe they had a few uses. He quickly averted his eyes, grumbling under his breath. Not for the hottest bang in the universe was he even remotely tempted.
He didn’t wait for her response, just with reserved fury, he made one brisk wave towards the direction of the antique landline telephone at the end of the bar. It might have been white at some point, its curly cord tangled and gray in spots. And with that, after a swift glance past her into the parking lot, witnessing no headlights, and not even a car, he shot her only the smallest glance as he locked the door to any other customers that might be out at this ungodly hour in a rainstorm, and then turned his back on her. He didn’t even wait to hear her approach, he ducked into the back room, mouth tight, his high cheekbones standing out more prominently than usual as his lack of appetite had cost him a few pounds, he disappeared through the grizzled black curtain, that seperated the sparse makeshift office and studio space from the front room. His bed was half made, black on black on gray, and everything else in the room was relatively neat. There were only a few dishes, stacked on the floating shelf by the single window in the room. There was a coffee mug in the sink, a braided rug centering the space, a worn recliner facing a flatscreen TV, the single piece of eye candy in the room. Free weights hovered by the sliding closet door. He grabbed for the heaviest one and began his nightly ritual.
“Thanks for the phone.” He heard the low pitched, though very feminine voice call through the closed duck-cloth drapery. There was a hesitation from the voice’s owner.
He paused, casting his eyes at the curtain.
He viewed the partition with a serious and hard look as he stood and pushed it aside. To her credit, she neither looked perturbed, nor interested in his appearance. She did look a little relieved, finding her tongue once more.
“I don’t suppose I could talk you into selling me a drink while I wait for the tow truck.” At the wry set to his mouth, his eerily blond hair longer than usual, a lock slipped forward to cover his raised brow. “Yeah, I know--closed.” She seemed to catch herself from a sigh, or perhaps an eye-roll. “It’s just been a really--err, crazy, night.”
He stared dispassionately down at her, her hair so dark and wet that it almost looked seal black. There were bags under her big lovely unearthly glowing grey eyes, but he decided in that moment that her mouth, pinched with something like pain, or possibly exhaustion, was the most becoming feature about her. Her lips were full and in the shape of a heart and of a perfect rosy hue.
“What’ll you have?” he requested, after the span of many moments. The sneer that masked the direction of his thoughts seemed to finally affect her coolness. She studied him for a moment before glancing back at the bar’s entrance.
“I’m sorry, it’s okay. No need to impose any more than I already have. Thanks for the phone. My cell died. Like I said, crazy night.” She said all of this while backing away and quickly picking her way to the door. “Have a good night,” she called over her shoulder, peeling the door back from its frame.
And with that, the bar was empty again. The energy that had seemed to charge the air, unbeknownst to him until that moment, lingered for a second, and then dissipated. A buzz of awareness--of what he was not certain--hung onto him, as if he was braced for something. He popped the top off of a beer, took a long swig, then a last scathing look at the door, and for the second time that night made his way back over to its flimsy perch to lock up. Lights out.
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