#aficthatinspiredbymylosingstreak

[iamcath]

Only Exception

Atsumu is tired of and doesn't want to believe in love anymore. Every time he lets himself fall for someone he always ends up getting hurt, cheated on and left alone. It’s the cycle he didn’t want to go through anymore. He might as well grow old all by himself while he drinks a hot coffee on his porch someday. It would be fine, he doesn’t need anyone. In anyways, he can still just annoy Osamu if he gets bored.

When he thought he had actually made up his mind, he met Shouyou once again. The last time he saw the small middle blocker with ginger hair was during their senior year at Nationals. He heard from Tobio and Bokuto that Shouyou decided to go to Rio(a country on the other side of the world) and play beach volleyball instead, which maybe not a bad thing really. He always keeps tabs of the boy's whereabouts just because he couldn’t forget him, not with that amazing passion and bottomless hunger to play volleyball that the boy has that haunted him all those years. There’s no way he can forget Shouyou, not when he made the promise that he will definitely set for him one day.

“Hi, Miya-san! It was nice seeing you again!” the gingered boy greeted with a beaming smile on his face. A smile that almost blinded him that he thought he was directly looking at the sun. It seems nothing has changed with Shouyou except his tanned skin that shows some freckles on his face and his very toned and well built body build. Rio indeed does him good. Who lets Shouyou be so hot and sexy that he almost forgot that they aren’t alone and everyone is looking at them.

“Shouyou-kun. We’re gonna be teammates. I prefer that you call me Atsumu or else I won’t set the ball to you.” he said, disrupting his thoughts in his head when Bokuto hit him in the back. Shouyou hesitates for a second, not sure if he can do that because he thinks it would be rude but then, if Atsumu prefers and says it’s alright for him to do so then it wouldn’t be a problem,  “Alright, Atsu..Atsumu-san.” Shouyou said as he let off a ridiculous perfect smile that Atsumu wished that he would always see.

Wait… Pause for a moment… What did he just wish? Hold on.. He thought to himself as he shook his head. There’s no time for him to fall for someone nor like someone. Even if he does, he would rather pick up a stone and thwack it directly to his head.

' It's too dangerous to be around with Shouyou' he warns himself and from then on, he always gets his guards up, not letting the embodiment of the sun tear down his high walls. He must protect his heart now because he can no longer allow himself to be careless and get himself hurt once again. Seriously, who invented love anyway?

Osamu is getting really annoyed by his constant yapping over Shouyou whom he said that he didn’t like but can’t shut his trap out ever since Shouyou joined the Black Jackals.

“What the fuck is wrong with you this time?” Osamu annoyingly asked as he handed a plate of onigiris to Atsumu, who started banging his head on the table, “Eat and get lost. You are bad for the business.”

“You should comfort me instead of insulting the hell out of me everytime I come here.. I’m your ‘twin brother’ for fuck sake.” He demanded as if it wasn’t obvious how pathetic he looks while he sulks, giving Osamu a major headache. He was about to say something to his dumb blonde twin when someone open the store door.

Osamu and him, in unison, look at the door to see who is coming in. Oh and speaking of the devil, it was Shouyou. Atsumu strengthened his posture and tried to act cool while Osamu greeted the ginger boy. Shouyou looks at them with a confused face as he says, “Did I interrupt something? Sorry.. I-” which Atsumu quickly cut off, flinching his hands in the air, “You didn’t. Me and this shithead are just having our usual conversation. Nothing special.” Osamu ignored his insult as he squinted his eyes on him. Atsumu squinted his eyes back at his twin, delivering a message that says, ‘ Don’t you dare try to say shit to Shouyou-kun or I will commit arson on your fucking store.’

Osamu rolled his eyes at him and told Shouyou to take a seat, “I have a special one here that I wanted you to try out, Shouyou-kun. Would you like to try it out?”

“Oh sure.. I’m hungry and would love to be your guinea pig Osamu-san.” Shouyou answered brightly and took a sit beside Atsumu. He was so overwhelmed by the sun's presence that he couldn't even utter a single word.

“Atsumu-san, are you alright?”

“Of course I am more than alright. Want to do extra training later?”

“Yes, sure!! That would be great! I actually want to try something new with you.”

‘ Something new? What does that supposed to mean Shou-kun?’. He thought that he almost choked up while he was drinking his water. He knows what Shouyou means, he does. It was just his gay compulsiveness that's thinking.

Shouyou is so kind to him and he feels like he was treating him more differently than the others. He knows that it was wrong for him to give meaning to every Shouyou’s actions but how can he look the other way, when the bright sunshine human being is slowly consuming him?. He didn’t want this. Not anymore.

Osamu asked him this once, “You keep saying you’re done with love as if everyone and everybody that goes your way will only hurt you. What if someone comes and that someone is willing to prove that they’re not like the others, wouldn't it be a waste to let it go? You’re already concluding something that has not even started yet.” His twin can be rude and a jerk often but sometimes, Osamu surely knows how to open his mouth and say things that he didn’t even want to hear because it absolutely makes sense.

Atsumu found himself waking up to an unfamiliar smell that probably came from the kitchen. He’s head really hurts and he still feels like throwing up. He got himself so drunk last night at the victory party that he can’t hardly remember what happened. But before he can think about what kind of stupidity he did last  night, he must know first where he is. He scans his surroundings, looking for his phone first, where he finds it at the side table near the bed. He's gonna check it out later and it’s not like there is someone looking for him or something.

He wasn’t sure who brought him to this place until he saw the picture frame at the study table. It belongs to Shouyou and inside the frame, it was his picture together with his mother and his sister, Natsu-chan. Shouyou brought him to his apartment.

He finally decided to get up and see where Shouyou at and what he was doing early this morning. Shouyou’s apartment is not that big. A one bedroom, small living room and small kitchen with one bathroom is good enough for one person to be living with.

“You’re finally awake, Atsumu-san. Hangover?” Shouyou asked immediately once he saw him get out of the bedroom while his hands were busy mixing and cooking something on the pot that smelled appetizing. He didn’t know that Shouyou could cook but when it comes to Shouyou, nothing is impossible. That is why… Wait.. what the hell he should do now? It finally sunk in to him that he’s in Shouyou's apartment and they were alone. Just the two of them. He started to get so nervous that he could feel some cold sweats at the back of his neck but he needed to play it cool or else Shouyou might feel awkward too with his presence and that’s the last thing he wanted to happen.

“Yeah. Heads hurt like crazy” he answered as he let off a fake chuckle.

“It must be.. You were so wasted last night that you can’t even tell me what your address is. I should have called Osamu-san to ask, but… It was so late and he was probably sleeping. Didn’t want to bother him, that is why I brought you home with me. I’m sorry if I didn’t ask for your permission first..”

“No, I should apologize for getting so drunk last night and for causing you trouble. I didn’t know what had gotten into me. That’s the first time I got myself so drunk to the point of being wasted.”

“That’s fine Atsumu-san.. You can drink all you want as long as I’m with you. I mean.. If you don’t mind having me around.”

'If you don't mind having me around' these words were lingering in his head, like one of his favorite songs that he listened to when he was happy. It was so nice to hear Shouyou say that. As if he wants him to be with him for as long as he wants.

"Shouyou-kun.. Do you.. perhaps… like me?" He accidentally mumbled.

' Crap' he wasn't supposed to say that but due to the words Shouyou spokes, the question just fucking slipped out on his mouth. 'Fuck it' he thought, he can just make an excuse later, like he wasn't sober and they can just forget about it. He wanted to storm out of Shouyou's apartment and buried himself somewhere where nobody could find him and his body.

"I do.. I do like you Atsumu-san. I thought I was being obvious already but maybe I wasn't." Shouyou shyingly said, turning off the gas stove and transferring the miso soup on the bowl to serve him.

'What the actual fuck? Oh wait.. maybe he likes him as a brother or a friend?' A platonic relationship is ideal for them because there's no way Shouyou will like him.. Not when everyone arounds them adores and loves him.

"You do? What kind of like is that? Like as a brother or a friend?" He asked, playing dumb, denying everything because if he won't, he probably gonna say that he likes him too that it's driving him crazy already.

"Not that kind of like Atsumu-san.. More like, a like that I want to be with you always, protect, love , make you happy kind of like, like.."  Shouyou straightly forwarded said.

He was stunned. He can't even move an inch to where he is. He remembered all his past relationships and what they have done to him. He wanted to believe it because he wanted to be with Shouyou too but he was too scared. What if he gets hurt again? He can afford another heartbreak. It will definitely ruin him and everything about him.

"Shouyou-kun.. I-" he was about to say something when Shouyou cutted him off.

"You don't have to like me back, Atsumu-san.. I just wanted to tell you because I wanted you to be aware of me. So don't worry.. You must be hungry, eat first and then drink this medicine. It would help you get rid of your hangover." Shouyou said with a smile on his face.

He wanted to say something but he felt like if he did, things between them would really get awkward. He wasn't sure if the smile that Shouyou wears in front of him was real or fake but he felt something was already off about him.

He shouldn't have asked that stupid question because from the start he was aware. He didn't just bring it up because he was afraid to hear that he was right. He doesn't want to lose Shouyou this way or not in any way.

' What if someone comes and that someone is willing to prove that they’re not like the others, wouldn't it be a waste to let it go? You’re already concluding something that has not even started yet.' he suddenly remembered what Osamu had said to him before. He was full of 'what ifs' but he never thought of 'what could have been'. Maybe, just maybe.. Shouyou is really different. There wasn't a time that he could think of, where Shouyou didn't laugh to the stupidest, cringest, annoying and you can call it whatever you want jokes. Shouyou always cheered him up whenever he felt kind of down and always told him that he would hit his toss no matter how off and ugly it was which would never happen Shouyou said because for him, he's the best and greatest setter that he could ever have. He always compliments him no matter how big or small his accomplishment was.

"Shou-kun.." he called out, wanting the sun's attention to turn fully to him.

"Yes, Atsumu-san? Didn't you like your food? I can cook you something else.."

"No, Shou-kun.. Can you listen to me?" He asked and the ginger boy nodded his head.

If he wants to try it all over again, he should first explain everything to him and let Shouyou understand why he's so afraid of falling in love. He explained everything to him, he didn't even leave even the slightest details. He wanted Shouyou to see him for what and who he really is. The Atsumu who acted so tough, self-less and confident inside the court is not the same Atsumu outside the court. This tough, self-less and confident persona of him is also scared, selfish and insecure. Those were the things that Shouyou needs to embrace and accept if he still decides that he still wants to be with him.

Shouyou stood up from his chair and kneel down before him. He held his hands, and put them closer to his lips and kissed it.

"I'm sorry if I took too long to come into your life. But you know.. It's better late than never.. right? I wanted to be the best for you because you are the first person who has seen and acknowledged me as a valuable player. I still remember your promise. It finally came true. And.. I was so happy to be playing with you and got the chance to be with you. It's anything that I could ask for." Shouyou paused for a second and reached out his cheek, caressing it gently as he continued, "I can't promise that I can take all the hurt away but what I can offer is to share the burden with you until you can finally say that the pain that you went through before was worth it. That your past relationships didn't work out because you are actually for me. That all the things you've been through leads you all the way to me. Let's take it slow. One step at a time. I'm a very patient man after all." Shouyou finished.

Tears started streaming down to his face as he said, "You're such a smooth talker.. You know that?"

Shouyou gently wipes his tears away as he smiles at him "Am I? Very well then.. I will take that as a compliment."

Shouyou faced him, eye to eye level. His hands still on his cheeks. He never understood how those hands were so warm that he felt like he was finally home after a tiring day. Like, if he can relive one moment in his life, this is the moment he will play for a thousand times and will never get sick of it.

He closed his eyes and he knew, his walls were already teared down from the very first moment he saw Shouyou's face again after seven years.

His lips and Shouyou's lips meet for the first time and he wonders where those lips have been, that he waited seven years to taste them. It was a messy kiss at first but as time went by it turned out so passionate that he never wanted it to stop if it weren't for their lips being swollen.

He never intends to let anyone in his life again. He was determined to live his life alone but thinking how silly it was, it made him laugh.

Shouyou is the only exception. A risk that he will gladly take over and a dozen times again. A 'what could have been' that he was thankful for but will never be a 'what if' that he'll regret later on.

#atsuhina #hinata shoyou #miya atsumu #osahinaifyousquintharder #aficthatinspiredbymylosingstreak #haikyuu