#already not good social so rather sacrifice comfort ease than risk lose friends when in such bad state.

[schizopunx]

verbality rant.

#never know if okay to label semiverbal. #can talk ‘’’’normal’’’’ lot. but all take effort. #call antiverbal sometime. near constant pushback against word both type speech. friction and pressure on word almost. #but speak fluent fast sometimes! stumble over word lose track often but still capable. #frustrating not knowing if belong in space or not. #type this way feels less stress. many word feel wrong brain not just bad but like word doesnt exist all doesnt belong in sentence. #part autism part schizo thing i think. #dont know. feel guilt sometimes but CANT speech function without bad fatigue brainfog. #no point in post just cant talk to friends like this. #isolating. normally talk in depth but take several minutes unless direct short reply way longer than most. #all closest friends talk regularly disabled autistic but worry this ‘’too much’’ make less talkable. #already not good social so rather sacrifice comfort ease than risk lose friends when in such bad state. #migraine so ending rant but. yeah. hellplanet.