#also Riven's toxic ass could never

[his-awesomeness]

So bitch #3 found my post. When I posted it I expected her to find it, but within a few days. sense roughly a week had passed sense I made the post I strait up forgot about it. Well, when she found it she had a fucking panic attack from it (Only Odin knows how) and she started blowing up my friends phone about it, waking him up, keeping him up until like 2 or 3 in the morning. He contacts me soon after she starts this mess and I both want to know what the fuck is going through her head, and I also want to help. So I ask if I should starting talking to her, he said no that'll make it worse. So all of my effort was on him. Because I wanted to know what she was thinking and all that I asked him and pushed it a bit to figure out what the fuck her problem was. Well, that set him off for a moment sense he was tired and exhausted and wanted to go to bed. Which, I then retracted my pushyness and swapped gears to just help him by saying little and trying not to spam him. after a moment we start talking again but he has no idea why she's like this or whay she's even saying but the only thing that's clear, is that she hates me and he tells me he'll fill me in tomorrow. I said alright and he goes to bed. I try to as well.

about an hour passes and I get curious if she made a Tumblr post about the situation from her end. I should be able to figure her side to this out (even though it's god damn retarded that there are now 2 sides to this bullshit). And what do you know, she blocked me. I start fucking laughing at the fact she got so pissy at me for fucking being honest and venting out the frustrations and pain she's put me though that I'm the one who gets blocked.So I take a quick look at Facebook, and she unfriended me. again, I start laughing.

this was fucking hilarious. I finally let all this shit out and she gets fucking pissy and does all this shit and causes this clusterfuck of drama for no reason. And she does this shit in the most childish way.

I think I forgot to mention in the big rant that she ended up friending Samantha, bitch #1. Now, it was anonymous that it was her until they started talking about me and then she found out. But prior to this, nothing could he said of 3's abusive ex without her breaking down. And we made a agreement not to do shit with both of our abusers. But because she was "friends" with her and took her face value as a person instead of the horrible manipulative and selfish person that she is. it was ok for HER to be friends with my abuser. And in that moment it was, out of fucking no where. From not being able to mention her abuser, to then it was ok for me to now be friends with her. And she said it to me as if it was ok for a while. Now do note: a fucking month before this I wanted to name my new cat Riven, from LoL. Well, she hated it and wanted me not to name her (later found out it's a boy) that because it reminded her of her ex. A name, from a popular game, of a character i love. I couldn't name my own fucking cat that just because it reminded her of her ex. But not a fucking month later. it would be ok for me to be friends with her abuser? like, what actual fuck. and it was only ok, because it justified her being friends with my abuser.

She is a fucking child. Her actions are those of a child.

and better yet, when they started talking about me more. She started taking my abusers sides on the same stories I told her that she had my side on.. I told her my mistakes, my fuck ups, everything I did wrong. but I also told her how manipulated I was, how many times I was cheated on, how many times the smallest mistake I made pissed Samantha off to the point she spent the entire day yelling at me and making me feel like shit just because I didn't want to listen to one song she sent to me. all of that bullshit, everything she did. was of course, out weighed by me missgendering her, or me "begging" her not to get breast reductions. I was a fucking horny ass freshman who didn't know shit about the world or anything. yet, fucking 4 years down the line. I'm still hated for it and every thing she did wrong is ignored and pushed aside. Because of course, I'm always wrong. everything I do is 10 times worse than anything done to me.

honestly, I don't remebr half the shit from that toxic ass relationship. that's why I can only pit down 2 things I did wrong. that aren't even that wrong. just socially not too acceptable.

but heaven forbit that I'm not too big of a fan of the "woman" I loved coming out to me 5 months into out relationship that she's gender fluid. when I was pretty blunt I wanted to be with a woman. I don't want to be with some one who fluid or is wanting a sex change. I wouldn't be happy for my life if I where, so why would i want or be ok with it then? but that slight discomfort and shit was too much. shame on me for feeling that way. I should be punished for feeling the way I did. Because that was wrong and I should love her for who she is even though she abused, manipulated, and like 2 weeks after that mess she cheated on me. but waited, like 2 months to tell me.

yea, I know you should love people for who they are if you truly love them. but I didn't, I really fucking didnt.

and that kind of summaries everything. I make a fuck up, it's not awful or anything. I just feel the way I do, and I express it. but I'm doing that, if I don't agree 100% and am comfortable with it 100%. I'm wrong, ridiculed, and abused for it.

but she cheats on me?

"oh I'll never do it again I feel so guilty please forgive me I'm so sorry"

I forgive and I try to move on

she cheats on me again

she waits 2 months to tell me

I can't really do anything about it because of

how long ago it happened

rinse and repeat.

yet what I did was so much worse.

those are the kind of stories and things that i was 100% honest to 3 about. and she helped me and took my side on it all. but the moment she's tempted with another 'friendship' which are sooo hard for hee to get. she would rather be friends with my abuser, take her said on the same fucking stories I told her. then she tries to turn it all on me, saying I'm wrong and she's right... after everything... I think that's the moment I should have told her to fuck off.

she starts taking my abusers exageratted stories of the 'horrible' shit I did to her. and she values that over me, the person she knew for almost 6 months. she wanted a new person instead of the one she knew. a new friend instead of the one she ready had...

and that's one of the things that pains me the most. and it's a example of why she's so immature and is a fucking child..

I think I got it all out, just... what the fuck man,

what the fuck Cheyenne

#personal #rant #abusive ex #what the fuck