everything is crumbling in my life yet nothing is wrong. avoiding my family and keeping the biggest secret of my life. only a few in my family know
finally got around to listening to some of A.C.E’s songs and omg
my gay heart
how could i not listen to them until now?
oof at 23, i didn’t think i’d be getting into a new group
yet here we are
if you don’t see me post for the next few days just know i’m diving into the A.C.E rabbit hole 😂😂😂😂
Tomorrow I meet with my nurse from Intensive Case Management. I hope it goes okay.
Come on, ask me a question. Maybe I’ll return the favour. Or not. Who knows. I mean you could know if you acted upon it, pussy.
ugh lately i feel like everyone is ignoring me on tumblr like why do i even try??? which is dumb bc ik some of the bloggers i talk to are really popular so they often have a lot of messages and wont see mine right away. but still there’s a tiny voice in my head that keeps telling me they’re ignoring me on purpose and i wish that voice would shut the fuck up bc ik its not true. *sighs*
Why lie I want to talk to you but I overthink it and end up not doin’ it.
idk dude one thing that upsets me more than anything is awkwardness when it doesn’t even need to be that way. like when it feels as if somebody is TRYING to make things weird. that annoys me.
y’all how come i am always full of rage but also very sad? :-/
Literally the very next day after my last post I was still very hurt and angry about what happened I decided to get out the house to get some food so I went down to my job with my thoughts still clouded with
maybe baby f*ck boy. Walked in with my little shopping cart, greeted my co-workers and headed down the drink aisle while trying to clear my thoughts. While stocking up on some packs of water in my cart I turned around and notice a guy walking up to me and he looked vaguely familiar.
He actually use to shop at my store a lot and we would casually talk about random things like how I usually do with any other customers but this guy was different. I always thought he was pretty cute but didn’t think much of him since I assumed he was already seeing somebody.
When he came up to me we started talking about what’s been going on with our lives lately then eventually he asks for my phone number, which I gave to him.
For the past 4 days we have been talking and getting to know each other. We’ve gone bowling, went to the movie theaters recently and saw Toy Story 4, and actually kissed for the first time yesterday.
I feel so completely comfortable around him and we have so many similar interest. Unlike with f*ck boy he is actually a gentlemen. He came to my house yesterday with a little stuff animal tiger and a bouquet of pink flowers awe. He’s not pressuring me into doing thing I’m not comfortable of doing yet.
I actually saw f*ck boy yesterday for the first time since he stood me up that night. I saw in the corner of my eye that he kept looking at me but I could barely look him in the eye and gave zero f*cks about his presence. For a small revenge since we had truck day yesterday while he was around I started playfully fanning down one of the newest male co-workers (who’s actually pretty cute btw but not my type) and he said out loud that he playfully loves me. F*ck boy was around and heard that loud and clear.
Not to sound egotistic but he’ll probably regret what happened with us one day. Until then I’m moving on with my current love interest. I’ll keep you guys updated soon. ;)
cw for violence:
the kids that jumped me and stole my car are being prosecuted and if they choose to go to trial I’m gonna have to go to court to testify against my attackers 3 TIMES since there was 3 of them, and I’m honestly doing okay but I’ve felt really weird today because it sounds like they’re just gonna be charged with felony theft and not for assault and idk I just feel gross. they didn’t really hurt me at all but they put their hands on me and I really wish there was more being done about it but I’ll be okay
Current favorite things
1. Lavendar Marshmallow hand soap from Bath and Body Works
2. Damn Girl mascara from Too Faced
3. author Ottessa Moshfegh
4. Love is Here candle from Bath and Bodyworks (semi-annual sale!)
5. Sugar Thrillz current Addicted to Cuteness line
6. Pit bulls
7. Lunar Tides hair dye
8. Criminal podcast
9. Trinkets (on Netflix)
10. Binge-watching Nurse Jackie
Sometimes I really hate my job. 💔
Innocent me: my precious gifs look so crisp and the colors are so on-point on desktop <3
Tumblr app: binch, hold my beer!
So … I was walking down the street with my aunt, I was using a cane, (I am physically disabled) and in front of us on the same path a little boy walks by the hand of a woman. The boy did not stop looking at me all the way down the path, half a body turned back and without taking into account the path in front of him.
And it’s not the first time it happens. This is something that happens to me often and I understand that children are curious by nature but it is a disrespectful behavior. Children or not. While walking, I was telling my aunt how bad it was for children to look at different people that way, I did it out loud so that the woman next to the child would notice and ask the child to stop doing it . The woman did it but the boy ignored him and he kept looking at me until they changed sides.
I would love for parents to educate their children better. Parents have a lot to do with that, in that their children are respectful, tolerant, free, without prejudice. I have seen how many parents leave that responsibility aside and leave it to schools, teachers and then complain because children are disrespectful, disobedient, rebellious, and do bad things.
Parents should pay attention, because the children who raise today will be people who will do great things or bad things depending on the examples they see at home and that you teach them.
- I’ve been severely sick all week
- like go-to-the-doctor-and-get-drugs sick
- today was the first day I went back into work, and I’m exhausted
- I hate the idea of not working out
- so I’m going to a gentle stretch yoga class tomorrow
- (even though I’d rather do my power lifting class)
- ((I know that’d be stupid and I’d die))
- also I’m still shit at being social LOL
Bein unable to nap when you have a brain that gets too tired to process things is like..some kinda joke of the universe.