#also it was at Sakura and Ino's Bachelorette party
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#i had a dream last night that i had to shit so fucking bad but no one would leave me alone long enough to let me shit in peace#like childhood friends i havent see in decades#family and characters from shows i havent watched in years#even kakashi fucking showed up to keep me from being able to shit in peace 😔#i feel so betrayed#i thought he was my ibs buddy#also it was at Sakura and Ino's Bachelorette party#they were getting married alskdjdjdlsl#and i spent the whole time needed to shit 😭😭😭#anyway absolute most annoying dream ever#ajshdjdldldkd
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is this an excerpt from chapter two of my sns college au that i promised?? yes.
is it me blatantly begging for attention? also yes.
Sakura was sitting upside down on the couch, absently scrolling through her phone. Summer classes had started a few weeks ago, and they were all still in town. Sakura was doing a summer research thing, Sai and Sasuke were taking classes, and Naruto was TA’ing for Jiraiya.
“What are we doing for pride?”
Naruto blinked. “What?”
“Pride, idiot. It’s in two weeks. What are we doing?”
“Oh. Hmm. We’re going to the parade, obviously.”
“I think Neji is running the school float this year.”
“Good for him!”
“Are you going to walk in it?”
Naruto paused, considering. He did want to support his bro, but. “No. Everyone already knows I’m gay, and that I’m a supportive dude.”
“Also your dads would come to take photos.”
“…also that.” Naruto rolled over with a grunt. “We could go to Southern. That would be fun!”
“Meh.” Sakura made a face. “There are always bachelorette parties there.”
“Probably not during Pride.”
“Ino doesn’t like it.”
“Okay, I see how it is.”
Sakura kicked at his arm. “Jealous much?”
“No, ugh. Your girlfriend terrifies me.”
Sakura kicked him.
“Ow!”
Grumbling, Naruto stood and limped into the kitchen. He had about an hour before he needed to head to the campus, which meant it was cup ramen time.
“Oooooh, Naruto, there’s a lesbians vs gays three-legged race, we should enter!”
Naruto started the kettle. “That sounds, like, homophobic.”
“How?”
“I dunno.” He shrugged. “What about wlw/mlm solidarity?”
“No solidarity, only hostility.”
“You’re the reason other gay people hate us.”
She snorted. “They hate us ‘cause we’re too hot and cool.”
“Maybe if I stop hanging out with you, I’ll get a boyfriend.”
“Don’t make me laugh.”
“Hey! It could happen!” Naruto could sense her withering glare.
“There’s a reason you don’t have a boyfriend, and that reason is currently,” Sakura checked her watch, “finishing a Cognitive Psych lecture, and then heading to afternoon practice.”
Naruto poured the boiling water into his ramen and rolled his eyes. “This ‘you’re in love with Sasuke’ thing is getting old.”
“Oh, I’m pretty fucking tired of it too.”
“Come on, don’t you have data stuff to do?” Naruto complained.
“My PI hasn’t emailed me back, and if I get you two to pull your heads out of your asses, I’m putting it on my CV.”
“Hmph. I hope all of the medical schools reject you.”
“Take that back right now, dipshit.” She yelled without sitting up.
Naruto stuck his tongue out and ignored her. His ramen was ready, anyway. He walked back over to the couch and sat down.
Sakura hit him, of course, but then went back to her upside-down scrolling. He put on a random YouTube video and settled back, cracking open the ramen container.
“Mmmmm.”
They sat calmly for the full ramen cup.
“We should plan something, though.”
“We’ll have to check Sasuke’s calendar. He has three apps, you know.”
Sakura pursed her lips. “He might not want to come.”
“Of course he’ll want to come!” Naruto protested. “He’s the best ally, he’s definitely gonna support us!”
“He’s gonna get support somewhere.”
Naruto scowled. “What does that even mean?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Sakura stood and loudly cracked her neck.
“How do you even do that?!”
“I’m a certified bone cruncher.” Sakura wiggled her fingers at him, grinning, and Naruto scrambled backward.
“No! Stop!! Augh! Don’t crunch my bones!”
thank you for reading!!!! the rest of the chapter is going up this saturday (1/9)
#naruto#naruto fanfiction#sns#sasunaru#narusasu#link will be in the reblog bc tumblr algorithm is Bad
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tournament for Sakura’s hand
Sasusaku Fanfic - Cracked Canon FF.net
I
It was during the spring of her 20th year, that Sakura received the news she didn’t know she’d been dreading. Her best friend and rival getting married. Upon hearing the words come out of the blonde girl’s lips, she felt herself choke on her sip of tea.
“I’m sorry Ino, what did you say again?” She asked once she composed herself, to make sure she’d heard her correctly.
“Sai and I are getting married, soon too, we want to do it in two weeks!” Ino responded.
Ino Yamanaka had invited her two best friends to afternoon tea to be able to announce her upcoming nuptials. “It’s going to be a western style wedding, much to my mother’s discontent, even so, I need you to two to be my bridesmaids!”
Hinata looked over at her pink headed friend with concern, she wasn’t sure how the news would be affecting her, now being the only girl of their generation to be single... she knew just how heartbreaking it was to wait for one’s feelings to be reciprocated. She held her friend’s hand gently underneath the table for support. Sakura was glad to have a friend like Hinata, she was always so considerate. Sakura squeezed her hand in return and smiled.
“Of course, Ino pig, we would be honored” she told Ino, answering for the two of them.
“Alright, so you’ll need to organize a bachelorette party for me, and Hinata you need to tell Naruto to do one for Sai too! Does this Friday work for you?” Ino asked.
“Amm sure I think, but what’s the hurry?” Hinata questioned. Since her own wedding had taken approximately a year to be planned.
“Well, we just didn’t want to wait any longer”
“Consider it done Ino pig! I’m very happy for you and Sai, really” Sakura said, because whatever competition she and Ino had been in, she was her oldest and dearest friend. And she knew Sai really deserved to have a family of his own. “So, how did Sai finally pop the question?!” She continued, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at the blonde.
“Well... actually I asked him” Ino responded, scratching the side of her head nervously. “Sai was talking about the disadvantages of not having a proper surname, and I said, ‘how about Yamanaka?’ it took him a few hours and a couple of books to figure that one out, then we started planning, very simple”
“That sounds so like you two” Sakura giggled.
“I know right? Well, see you girls on Friday! I have a lot of work to do at the flower shop in preparation, don’t forget to surprise me!” Ino announced and took her leave, running towards her home and shop.
Friday night came sooner than they could have wanted, with Sakura and Hinata deciding to celebrate Ino’s bachelorette party in a simple civilian bar in the company every female ninja in the shinobi register.
“Girls, tonight we are getting drunk out of our minds!!!!” Ino announced to everyone at the bar. Pouring out peach sake and handing everyone their cups.
Sakura raised her bottle in toasting, and chug the remaining sake, promptly taking the cup Ino was offering.
“You might want to slow down, Sakura-Chan” Hinata told her with concern, looking down at the additional two bottles of sake Sakura had already killed.
“Why?!” The pinkette whined. “I’m celebrating you all married ladies! I’m so happy for you all”
“Aaam because we are just getting started, you don’t want to be out too soon right?” Hinata made up as an excuse.
“Actually, I do! And youuu sweet pretty Hinata, you need to catch up!!” Sakura said, already slurring her words, and holding a shot of sake to her black-haired friend. “You too Ino, drink up!!”
Not even two hours later, the three girls were completely intoxicated. Blushes spreading through her faces, tears, laughter and confessions running freely.
“Areee you feeling bad because I beat you to get married forehead?” Ino asked her friend in teasing, expecting a snarky comeback from his best friend as usual.
“Yeah...” Sakura responded instead. “I don’t want to end up and old maid” she complained.
“You won’t end up an old maid Sakura-Chan, what about Sasuke?” Hinata said, trying to make her friend feel better despite her drunkenness.
“Sasuke-kun” Sakura sighed. “I’ll always love Sasuke-kun but... he doesn’t want me like that... and I really want... someone to hold and kiss and just... be” she hiccupped between words as she responded.
“I thought you were waiting for him Forehead; did you give up on him?” Ino whined sadly.
“No, I would never! I’ll always be there to support Sasuke-kun, but I want something too! I’ll be what Sasuke-kun wants me to be, I’ll be like... like... like Naruto”
“Not exactly like Naruto I hope” Ino giggled at the thought.
“Yes, exactly like him! A friend!!! He is married and he still has Sasuke-kun’s back and he loves him, and he even got a kiss out of it! I mean that’s not a bad thing to have” Sakura continued.
“Sakura-Chan are you sure?” Hinata said, because even when intoxicated, Hinata was always the most levelheaded.
“Yup!” Sakura said and raised her fist. “I’m ready to find someone!”
“But who?” Ino questioned.
“Neji-niisan is still available” Hinata offered. “He’s handsome, strong, reliable”
“Naah he’s too stiff for our Sakura here” Ino interjected. “She needs someone legendary, one of a kind, and powerful!”
“Neji is all that!” the Hyuga responded, defensive of her dear cousin. “And he is from a noble clan!”
“We’re not trying to replace one Sasuke for another Hinata, she needs someone to fight for her!”
“Do I get I say?...” Sakura started. This conversation was getting out of control.
“NO!” Ino yelled.
“Lee would’ve been perfect, if he hadn’t knocked up that civilian girl, or... are opposed to the idea of being a stepmother?”
“Ino!!” Both girls chastised.
“Okay okay! I have an idea, but it might be a little crazy and possibly illegal”
“What is it?!” Both of her friends asked in curiosity.
“I’ll tell you, but first we need to break into Lord Hokage’s office!”
And so, the three drunk girls found it was surprisingly easy to break into the Rokudaime’s office in the middle of the night. With Hinata keeping watch at the entrance and Sakura distracting the Anbu guards on the roof of the building Ino put herself to work.
“Is that the communication system between all hidden villages?” Hinata asked from the door, since her byakugan allowed her to see what Ino was doing.
“Yes, it is... I am almost done” Ino continued drafting a message and then hit send.
“Ino, what did you do?” Hinata asked. She didn’t know why she followed along with Ino’s plan. She thought breaking into the Hokage’s office was bad, but she never thought this would include the other villages.
“Nothing, I just send a flyer to all the Hidden villages, instructing them to post it everywhere” The blonde responded.
“Flyer for what?” Hinata asked.
“You’ll find out on March 28th” Ino said, looking at her with a mischievous smile on her face, that sent chills down Hinata’s back.
x
It was a particularly calm day for Sasuke, he was exploring the Hidden Stone Village, without a hurry. Iwagakure didn’t have much to offer in regards of sightseeing, but Sasuke was determined to at least spend a couple of weeks in this place, trying to find a hideout where Itachi spent some time during his time in the Akatsuki, and also to ask for the opportunity to train in the fabled Sanzu Plains, it was known that the site prevented those who entered from using jutsu, and the only way out was to find your “heart stone”, those who were able to, would finally be able to figure what their heart’s true desire, it definitely sounded like what Sasuke needed.
As he was walking towards the Tsuchikage tower, he noticed a colorful flyer taped to hundreds of different posts and windows. His curiosity got the best to him as he stopped to read one of them, it featured a beautiful photograph he’d never seen of none other than Sakura, his Sakura. His susanoo almost activated in anger as he read the contents:
x
Part II
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