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manchineel-mistress · 10 months

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thinking about. that yugioh pokemon fusion thats been rattling around in my head. its been a few days.

so like, i know that yugioh and pokemon games have just been a thing. who wouldnt match yugioh, a series about games, with one of the most popular game franchises in the world.

but like, there are very few fics where its yugioh characters who live in a pokemon world. the true pokemon au that yugioh dm deserves.

anyway im a puzzleshipping fiend (im not sorry) so things have been rattling around my brain for a while.

imagine:

atem, the undefeated pokemon champion, took the pokemon training and battling world by storm at a young age, his elite four are rumored to be the toughest that the pokemon world has seen in decades.

yuugi, a young man trying to popularize a new form of bonding/competing with your pokemon through collaborative games rather than head to head battle, who might also be atem’s childhood friend who then got yeeted to another region.

atem goes to visit another region for Pokemon Champ (TM) reasons and ends up running into yuugi’s grandpa’s shop. where yuugi happens to be hosting a demo or small competition for his new pokemon trainer games. idk what to call it. games where people compete with their pokemon but it isnt beating each other up. i think yuugi just doesnt like violence and ends up creating these games because he loves pokemon and bonding with them and games. i also think he should be able to keep his game designer roots in every au, he deserves it.

anyway, atem, who has been bored with pokemon battles lately, ends up joining. only to be faced with his old friend that he hasnt seen in years. and who he has been having a very very hard time forgetting (because pinning idk i just read romance not write it). but chooses to ignore that because yuugi also lowkey doesnt react to him at all. but he has fun! he has fun for the first time in a while! but then he has to leave because of Pokemon Champ Business (TM) and hes sad.

so cue his ace pokemon running away from him because atem has been Not Himself lately. as in being pokemon champion has changed him for the worse because pokemon politics ig??? im just pulling from my memories of “red being champion was not good for him so he runs away to a snowy mountain for years” fics because i feel like that applies. expect instead of running off to a mountain, atem just becomes really mean. and cruel. think s0 vibes. (ignore the fact that s0 atem was not that bad and hes honestly my favorite flavor of atem).

so atem’s ace pokemon have broken into the muoto family shop and yuugi is desperately trying to figure out how to contact atem to get them back. (yes he does rememebr atem, he just thought atem wouldnt care to be his friend again/forgot him, so he didnt really talk to atem during the day). cue um romance! and angst! and drama! and fluff!

idk i really like the canon yuugi-atem character arcs and dynamic. they build each other up and change each other for the better. i want that be come across in that au. even though i basically havent explained anything about it. i just really like the premise i set up for it. (no i probably will never write it, but i like sharing my thoughts). (feel free to write it if you want idk if people care enough for that tho lol).

atem is someone who has lost himself in the bitterness and cutthroat nature of the pokemon competitive battling circle, seeing people mistreat their pokemon and how there is so little of what made pokemon battling fun to him in the first place. and yuugi, who was lowkey ostracized for not being interested in the traditional pokemon battling culture even though he proved to be a really good pokemon trainer and battler, so he found solace in the games his grandpa would send him and share those with his pokemon. which then inspired him to create games that people could play with and along side pokemon, but he never had the confidence to introduce it to anyone past the small town he moved to after his parents’ divorce. (why am i putting all the yuugi backstory in here? idk hes just a kid with divorced parents, so his mom took him back to her home region to live with his maternal grandpa and changed his last name to his mother’s maiden name).

but then atem and yuugi meet again! different than they were as kids (i have more on that but idk where to put it), but nonetheless still them and they want to connect again but scared to reach out. until one stray ace pokemon forces them to connect again. atem is reminded of why he loved pokemon battling in the first place and sees it again in the games that yuugi creates. yuugi finds that confidence he needs to really spread his wings through atem’s influence and encouragement. theyre a dream team fr fr.

anyway final notes that i dont have a place to put:

atem’s elite four are his canon priests, idk how it would work but i think having mahad and mana on there would be hilairous

yuugi’s first pokemon and ace pokemon is a gengar nicknamed yami (as inspired by this post)

i like to think of it as baby yuugi being very lonely in a new region and ends up hanging around some of the more dusty corners of his grandpa’s shop, and then one night a stray ghastly pops by and used its smoke to copy his hair and theyve been inseparable since

yami is also insanely protective of yuugi and scared his bullies off for him, and was very very not happy about a powerful pokemon (atem’s ace pokemon) breaking into the shop to cuddle up with his partner

yami and yuugi definitely have a gengar megastone btw

also yuugi has a garchomp nicknamed gandora whose yami’s second in command. i just love gandora a lot pls understand i adore the idea of yuugi being a little guy who just casually summons Gandora The Dragon Of Destruction on his opponents

atem’s ace pokemon is a ghost type, idk im thinking cofagrigus, because, its fitting

he also has a legendary he can just call upon, it just likes him and atem gives it treats every time it shows up (idk which legendary tho, but giratina could be a fun choice)

the Gang (TM) are yuugi’s friends that he made after he moved to the new region and are fairly wary of atem at first, but like they warm up eventually because yuugi likes him

kaiba is there still, and very rich and techy at that, and also the yuugi’s region’s pokemon champion who constantly challenges atem to pokemon battles and lives in yuugi’s town

i like to think steven stone but kaiba, which is to say rich and still makes his incredibly advanced and insane tech, but also really good at pokemon battling

kaiba also really likes yuugi’s game btw, but he never participates because of his trauma (winning? winning in some lame game? no winning only counts if its in a pokemon battle, thats the only way i can show my worth and validate myself) (no kaiba-kun, you just need therapy and some friends, pls let me be your friend and we can play games together)

yuugi and atem were friends as kids and they bonded over their love of games and pokemon, really yuugi was the one who inspired atem to become a pokemon trainer and atem was the one who inspired yuugi to make games, but then the Divorce (TM) happened

no atem didnt go looking for yuugi, its been like 15 years, yuugi probably has his own life now and doesnt need a reminder from the past probably definitely yeah

i think that atem’s pokemon like yuugi more than they like atem

teehee yes im a sucker for that trope, sue me

yeah i like pokemon aus, so what. no but i think about this every now and then and it gives me serotonin, thus i share with you.

#yugioh dm #yugioh crossover #pokemon crossover #ygo pokemon crossover #the real question is if they are in an already existing region or if they are in a yugioh themed region #idk im really really bad at making pokemon teams #i just want a cute puzzleshipping fic where there are also pokemon #i think having ace cards are ace pokemon are fun #puzzleshipping #atem #yuugi mutou #sometimes i forget im a rival and flareshipper too #but then i write my bit about kaiba and go oooh there it is now time to rein myself in before i make this flareshipping #honestly it could be #it could also be rivalshipping if you just cut atem out of the picture

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sallymew4 · 10 months

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hi this is the oc post this concept appeared in my brain after doodling a mean catgirl cuz i thought it was a silly twist on catgirls you usually see in media (no hate to them ofc they can do what they want) anyways its just a half animal world so its not like super unique out there creative but i like my silly lil guys so im placing them here gently :)

the catgirl is Caitlyn, orange tabby. she prefers to be called a catwoman or lady cuz shes in her twenties. she works out and smokes cuz thats what she likes to do. asexual but looking for a romantic relationship. shes hardened but not an ultra asshole cuz no one likes an asshole. unless youre a WEIRDO.

then the two less important characters Francis the beagle dogboy and Presley whos a peacock. Francis is under Caitlyn’s care for a temporary period of time due to certain circumstances and softens her up during his stay. she becomes like an aunt-like figure to him. Presley is simply a childhood friend of Caitlyn’s who stuck around for two decades. i havent really actually DONE anything with these characters just yet buuuttt maybe ? ill do more ? i like drawing Caitlyn so it is a possibility

this was way too long ok bye

#oc #oc post #oc posting #oc art #oc stuff #my ocs #i dunno what else to put here should i put their names #i dont have surnames yet i just like drawing Caitlyn

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feetlightmanifestoes · 2 years

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some of my earliest memories of young childhood include:

- a brick thrown at my head

- a kid who disliked me giving everyone in class a piece of gift chocolate except me

- getting hit while hanging out at a friends house and him refusing to stop til i cried

- being chased through the woods and being so scared that i literally lay on the ground and faked an asthma attack

- being tied to a post on my first day of high school

- being surrounded by an entire group of like 30 kids ripping on me in the middle of lunch and a bird literally shitting on my head at that very moment

whenever I see a post about people "forgiving their school bullies" or "moving on from the past" or w.e, i get furious, because I cannot let these things go even after 2 plus decades. i have gone through life defensive and probably cost myself so many new friends because of it. meanwhile, these people who watched this shit happen to me want to see me as adults and act like everything is cool, as though physical intimidation and pack mentality arent the only reason i havent fucking punched them in the face.

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kakashihasibs · 2 years

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...

#i had a dream last night that i had to shit so fucking bad but no one would leave me alone long enough to let me shit in peace #like childhood friends i havent see in decades #family and characters from shows i havent watched in years #even kakashi fucking showed up to keep me from being able to shit in peace 😔#i feel so betrayed #i thought he was my ibs buddy #also it was at Sakura and Ino's Bachelorette party #they were getting married alskdjdjdlsl #and i spent the whole time needed to shit 😭😭😭#anyway absolute most annoying dream ever #ajshdjdldldkd

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 6 years

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With it being almost June 8th, and Lena getting more and more isolated on Supergirl as we inch towards the finale, I would like to once again revisit the idea of Lena being a sensate.

She may not have many friends in person, or leave the office much, or have an actual apartment of her own... but she has X number of friends just a thought away and lives a rich, full life through them, and her heart is her home because that's where her cluster is.

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toixxx-ace · 2 years

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I had a dream that my top surgery date arrived and my parents and best friends drove me there but I woke up when my dad and i got to the waiting room

#it was weird because my parents are divorced. and my two friends are distancing right now #but it was like they all came together to support me #and also there was a subplot about a fucked up pool?#and i think one of my childhood friends (who i havent spoken to in almost a decade) was there?#very odd. but not an unwelcome dream by any means #i wanted to keep sleeping to see how it would end

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sillyguyhotline · 3 years

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17. “How is any of this ok?” with Joe and Sara maybe?

dude im gonna be completely honest i havent written anything in like a month so i think the quality isnt gonna be great but here goes nothing

God, Sara missed the feeling of home.

Every semblance of familiarity and comfort she’d once found in the town she’d grown up in, the house she’d spent her childhood running through, now felt chillingly foreign.

Perhaps it was the heavy burden of knowledge weighing fresh upon her shoulders: ASUNARO’s corruption seemed now to peer slyly around every corner, no matter where she went. She still didn’t know how much of the town had rotted away under its grasp, how much of the town its poison had pervaded… but she was probably better off not knowing.

Whatever was left of Midori, that miserable mix of pulsing blood and electronic emotion, had been ground to bits inside that coffin… but Sara couldn’t ignore the creeping fear that his burning, ever-present gaze would appear out of nowhere and terrorize her again.

But he wouldn’t. The death game was over, and they’d promised they would never hurt her or any of her loved ones again.

Most of the loved ones she still encountered day-to-day, gruesomely blood splattered and sitting like corpses propped up hastily in a corner, would be safe no matter if ASUNARO was fresh on her tail or a thousand miles away. What a cruel price to pay for safety, to never be hurt again.

They still lived on if Sara closed her eyes tight enough, if she listened to the twisting words of the hallucinations and let them convince her she was monstrous. But the second she dared to open her eyes, she knew they’d be dead again. Life worked in terrible ways, and that was all there was to it.

Joe’s house had always been a second home to her, ever since the two of them became friends. Joe was the farthest cry from Sara in terms of social interactions- it had taken at least 3 months for Sara to trust Joe enough to invite him over, but Joe had insisted she hang out at his house the very same day they became friendly enough to exchange more than a sentence with each other.

There was a certain sort of comfort to the warmth of his house, the constant scent of cooking food pervading the air and the little trinkets scattered in every corner. No surface of his house went without decoration, in its silly little way. It was full of pictures, too, some carefully framed and some dangling from the wall by pushpins, but Sara got the sense that none of the photos went unloved. Most of them were occupied by an orange-haired man, often carrying a younger Joe (back when he was still sporting that atrocious crew cut). Sara always assumed it was his dad, but thought it would be impolite to ask… particularly when the weeks stretched on and Sara had yet to meet that mysterious orange-haired man.

Eventually, pictures of Sara began to join the collage on the wall- pictures taken as she butchered yet another pop song during karaoke, or when they went out to get food, or when she mistakenly sat down on a traffic cone during gym (after many protests from Sara, he took that one down). As silly as the pictures were, and as obvious as it was that Joe had waited for the most embarrassing moments to take them, it was sort of sweet in a way.

Joe’s mother was always kind to her, though there was a constant weariness in her eyes that Sara always felt a bit uneasy about questioning. Sometimes she’d let the two of them cook things in the kitchen, but more often than not they’d go up to Joe’s room and screw around in there, with video games or music or the 50 times Joe tried to persuade Sara to climb out the window and sit on the roof with him before she finally agreed.

As rare as it was for Sara to agree to sit on the roof, it was even rarer for Joe to agree to study with her, much to Sara’s chagrin. Joe had always walked a fine line between passing and failing, but Sara had to admit he walked it well. When she did manage to convince him to study, though (usually the day before final exams), they’d sit on the cushy couch in his living room and somehow manage to bother each other as much as possible while feigning concentration.

The couch hadn’t changed after several years- Sara could tell that much the minute she sat down on it and avoided the urge to break eye contact with Joe’s mother. It was still well-worn, a couch that likely should have been replaced at least a decade ago but had never really been disposed of. Loose threads were protruding from the cover, drawn out from years of visitors fidgeting with them.

Sara shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the slight motion making her sink deeper into the couch’s soft cushioning. She’d only spent one minute in the house and was already sweating, whether from the heat of the home or the thousand-yard stare of the woman sitting across from her.

Ryoko was there, too, sitting to Sara’s left and gazing listlessly at the well-trodden carpet beneath her feet. …Ryoko.

Sara cast a hesitant glance around the room, duly noting the photos covering the walls. Not a single one of hers had been taken down, but several more photos had appeared with Joe’s beaming face featuring prominently in them. Joe’s presence was always enough to fill a room even when he wasn’t speaking; it took a lot to fill in the gaps left by his absence.

God, she missed him.

The wind whistled against the window-screen; Sara had memorized the familiar creak of the wooden window frame being lifted up to welcome in the mild autumn air. Sara had always thought of autumn as a beginning- she loved summer as much as any other kid, but as the haze of the weather began to wind down she was quick to grow impatient and look forward to the school year, to being productive again. Joe had always disagreed with her.

“Fall is the literal death of fun,” he’d complained once, walking home with Sara after finishing the first week of school. “Couldn’t they have pushed back the first day of school by, like, another week? You think if we got enough people to sign a petition, they’d give us an extra week of summer?”

“Oh, come on, we both know even if you had an extra week of summer you’d just be complaining a week later,” Sara had teased back.

The death of fun. It certainly felt like that, Sara decided. She’d never feared the looming darkness of fall and winter quite so much before. But now, she supposed, there was no sunshine who’d weather it with her.

“Well… Sara?” Joe’s mother spoke up, voice hoarse with the sound of repressed tears in her throat. Sara recognized the sound all too well.

There was no resentment in the woman’s eyes when Sara made eye contact with her. No anger, no frustration, nor had there been any in her measured motions when she welcomed Sara into the home. It didn’t take any words for Sara to tell that there was no blame to be foisted upon her.

She was still Joe’s best friend.

“I’m sorry to have dragged you out here on such short notice.” The woman’s voice was weak. “I don’t know all the details of what happened, of course. Haven’t heard anything, aside from the little tidbits the police told me when I dropped by the station.”

Sara’s shoulders stiffened at the mention of the police, at the idea of them pleasantly answering her questions as though they weren’t just as complicit in that tragedy as ASUNARO had been.

“And…” the woman glanced down at her hands, toughened from a lifetime of working. “I know something terrible happened to you. The circles under your eyes are darker than midnight, I know it’s so selfish of me to be dragging you out here, but… I haven’t slept a wink for weeks. Been so worried about Joe, and about you too.”

She nodded in the direction of the black-haired girl who hadn’t spoken a word the entire time. “Ryoko’s been worried about the both of you, too. Your parents weren’t answering the door, so she went to me. I hope you’ll forgive the two of us for disturbing you, Sara, but… you have the answers the police won’t give us, don’t you?”

God, her gaze was piercing.

“...Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

It was taking everything in Sara’s power not to look at the vacant seat to her right. If Joe was there, he would have been laughing and lightening the mood, completing the circle that had been left so jarringly empty.

But they wouldn’t have been having this conversation if Joe was there.

Ms. Tazuna nodded slowly. “This means the world to me, Sara. Don’t forget that.”

Sara did her best to muster a smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

The woman gave another nod, eyes defocusing as though even now, she wasn’t quite sure why she was there. “Alright. Alright. Well, then…” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Guess I should get right to the point, yeah? Is he… is… how is he…?”

So she still hadn’t quite let go of that little thread of hope, even after seeing Sara return home safe and alive with no best friend in tow. Who was Sara to judge? When hope was the only thing to cling to, it only made sense to cling to it like a lifeline.

Sara twisted her hands, the same old nervous habit she’d had for years, and wondered briefly if she’d picked it up from Ms. Tazuna. How terrible it was, to carry the news that nobody, much less any mother, ever wanted to hear.

“I… I’m sorry, Ms. Tazuna. He didn’t make it out alive.”

Sara hadn’t expected the hush that immediately fell over the room. She’d expected immediate tears, the grieving cry of a mother in pain. Instead, the room became muffled, still as a painting captured in time.

Slowly, Ryoko looked up from her bitten-down fingers, eyes rimmed red already. Ryoko had always been an emotional person, the only person Sara knew who could fluctuate from full-on sobs to cheerful giggles in less than a minute. Sara was so unused to the look that was now filling her eyes- cold, solid misery. As though there were no tears in her eyes left to cry, no more tragedies to bemoan. Just a deep and horrified comprehension of just how many things in her life had gone wrong.

And, slowly, Ms. Tazuna began to cry.

Tears had become so uncomfortable for Sara to bear witness to. Was it selfish of her to look away? It couldn’t be, not when every raw sob reminded her of the art student seeing her first (and certainly not last) death, of the broken sibling openly weeping over apologies gone unspoken, of the unknowing siblings screaming their throats out with pleas for death so the other could survive.

Especially not now. Not when every tear rang in her mind as a reminder of cold tubes piercing her best friend’s chest, of his corpse slumping and falling in a pool of blood, because oh god he wasn’t supposed to have lost so much blood, how was he supposed to live without it, of the clickclickclickclickclicking rising in volume while her attempts to save him grew feebler and feebler.

Her hands were bloodstained, no matter how many times she tried to scrub them clean. Those dreadful hands of hers had failed her, failed Joe, failed the women sobbing openly in front of her.

She swallowed back the apologies that always rose in her throat as Ms. Tazuna rushed to sniffle back her tears.

“I… god, I… he’s really gone?”

Sara couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Please… please tell me it was a peaceful death. He didn’t… suffer too much, did he?”

The resounding wave of clicks flooded her mind. “It was as peaceful as I could make it. I… he smiled at me, right before he died. I’d… very much like to think that means he was happy when he died.”

“What happened?” Ryoko’s voice came out rough, the first of it Sara had heard in weeks. “Joe told me, after our date, that he was going to walk you home, and then neither of you showed up at school the next day. And now… it’s been three weeks? And Joe… Joe’s dead? What the hell happened, Sara?”

“God,” Sara mumbled, mesmerizing herself with the twisting motions of her own hands. “I’m not sure if you’d even believe me if I told you. I don’t even know if I believe what happened myself.”

“I’d believe anything.” The sentence was firm. “I just want to know what happened.”

Sara nodded wearily. The familiar weight of her bright orange ponytail was notably missing- the day after she’d escaped, she’d demanded the hairdresser cut her hair short and crisp. She shuddered every time she thought about the ponytail brushing against her neck as she spent each argument screaming and protesting for her life. Even worse was the memory of how carefully Joe had styled her hair, forsaking his usual clumsiness to braid every strand with a remarkable tenderness. She didn’t want to remember any of it- even though, as the locks went cascading to the floor, she was reminded starkly of Keiji’s bleach-stained trauma response.

“For some reason, something to do with the mafia, we were kidnapped. And pulled into a death game. There were twenty of us, including me and Joe. I- I’m not going to get into all the specifics. It’s going to make me sick to my stomach if I do. But… they made us play this sadistic fucking game to narrow down the competition. Based on cards. Joe drew a bad card, and… they executed him.” Something in Sara’s throat tightened as she finished speaking, and she fell silent.

“Just like that?” His mother’s voice came out as a hoarse whisper. “How… how’d they kill him?”

“I’d rather not say.” There came the gushing sound of blood pulsing through the tubes. “He didn’t suffer too long” - she hoped - “but it was a gruesome way to die. I don’t want to think about it, please understand.”

It took a moment for his mother to register the words and nod, face still painted with horror.

“Why… how did the two of you even end up there in the first place?” Ryoko spoke up again. “You said something about the mafia? How the hell are you two connected with the mafia?”

“I don’t know how I am,” Sara responded immediately. “It must be something with my family. I couldn’t control any of this, I swear, but… Joe wasn’t meant to end up there at all.”

Ryoko paused. “He… he wasn’t meant to end up there?”

Sara swallowed back the lump in her throat. “The game… it was something that was being prepared for ages. There weren’t just a few ragtag kidnappers behind it, there was an entire organization. Even the police were involved. They ran AI tests, hundreds if not thousands of them, trying to calculate who’d be the most likely to win. And… when all the numbers came back, the person most likely to win… was me.”

She spread her arms wide, baring her sins and her cruelties to the world, and in that moment felt distinctly like the angel of death Keiji had branded her to be.

“They needed something to drag me down, I guess. Make the odds more balanced. So they dragged Joe into this fucking mess. I guess they thought that him being there would keep me steady enough to make everything fair.” A cold hand, dripping with tendrils of phantom blood, caressed her chin with a lethal grip. “...They were right.”

Ryoko’s gaze had gone cold again. “So Joe died just because you cared about him? What the fuck kind of death sentence is that?”

Sara shook her head numbly.

“Why did it have to be him?” The heartbreak in Ryoko’s voice was clearer than day. “So many people love you, Sara, why did it have to be him? Hell, I’m your best friend too, aren’t I? Why couldn’t it have been me? I’m a much worse person than Joe ever was, I deserved to be in his place way more. Couldn’t they have killed me instead?”

Sara winced at the growing desperation in her best friend’s voice, the raw crack she knew all too well. It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me. Sara could have almost fooled herself into seeing a crisp aquamarine when Ryoko’s hair flashed into the light.

“Ryoko… it could have been.”

The girl fell silent.

“They had files on you too. They knew how close we were, they knew how much you meant to me… but Joe was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And they fucking killed him for it.”

Oh, how she wished she could go back to that balmy early-autumn night, see the smile on Joe’s face and listen to his lighthearted laughter again. The desire to keep one’s friend safe had become a crime deserving of a death sentence.

Ryoko’s eyes remained locked to Sara’s, devoid of any dullness. In the look they exchanged was a deep, sinking understanding, one that had nauseated Sara to the core the first time the realization struck her.

It was by no crafty strategy that Joe had died instead of Ryoko, no favoritism biased against the kindest person either of them would ever know. It was a simple, terrible twist of fate. Ryoko could have taken his place had she done something as inconsequential as offering to walk Sara home instead.

But she hadn’t.

It took everything in Sara’s power to avoid wondering what would’ve changed if she had.

“How is any of this okay?” Ryoko broke the silence weakly. “They killed him- they could have killed me, too. He was seventeen. Seventeen. How did anybody let this happen? How did this happen, Sara?”

“I- I don’t know.” Ryoko’s wrath was simmering; even though Sara knew truly that she wasn’t the subject of the anger, she still felt scalded. “I miss him so much, Ryoko. I watched him die, and nothing in my power let me save him. I miss him, Ryoko, I miss him every waking minute of every day. We were supposed to escape together and get out safe and pretend this never happened, but…” the tears were beginning to well up again. She couldn’t bear the thought of breaking down in front of anyone, especially not over him.

“I’m going to go make some coffee,” his mother interrupted suddenly. She’d been noticeably quiet, but the still-fresh streaks of tears painted down her cheeks told the story she didn’t need to vocalize. “Some coffee, and some snacks. And we’ll keep talking from there, alright? Do you guys have your phones?”

The two girls nodded uneasily.

“Please… find any pictures you have of him. I want to make this wall as bright as possible.”

Without any other words, she hurried out of the room, and it fell to silence once more. Outside the window, the cool autumn breeze began to stir the leaves in the air, gusting forward to brush against Sara’s cheek just as the hallucination had done mere minutes ago.

And the Tazuna household began to feel more like home again.

#is this worth publishing to ao3 #idk #gonna put it in the tags im feelin risky tonight #yttd #joe tazuna #sara chidouin #ryoko hirose #joesara #i guess #i just tag anything joesara at this point even if it's not outright romantic #idc whether it's romantic or platonic honestly #theyre them #and thats all that matters

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fablecore · 3 years

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idk if youve read this, but youd probably like the Tales Of Earthsea series by Ursula K LeGuinn?? it's kind of like the oceanic-island-based world of One Piece and Oda's uncomplicated but thoughtful (or sometimes thoughtful, from Oda, i mean..) sentence/story structures meets Lord Of The Rings/Simarillian's content (though there isn't as much of a focus on vocabulary and root-words like his). Earthsea is deep and overarching in all its magic and world-building and story arcs in a similar way as Tolkien, but LeGuinn doesn't try to make her work academic (actually, she originally made Earthsea a children's book. a single children's book. she picked up and dropped the series on/off as she went "okay, im done with that. [a decade later] ...actually, i have another idea" so every book is pretty self-contained in Questions and Threads and whatnot, tho reading it in order is def the most ideal way to experience it since it mostly follows one specific character as he ages as well as the people he meets as he goes along). also, parts of it reminds me of Witch Hat Atelier too, especially in Earthsea's focus on "true names" to WHA's ink; there's something there, in the spellmaking mechanics (and therefore in the world-building) between these two properties that are childhood friends holding hands

it's also a cast that's almost entirely people of color. almost everyone mentioned is a dark-skinned person, which the exception of some faceless characters-- like in the viking-like raid that happens EARLY, EARLY in Book One: The Wizard Of Earthsea, the pillagers are described as pale-faced, i think

i looked in your GoodReads and i didnt see it in your fantasymyth section or your ghiblifeels section (since Earthsea did get very clumsily made into a Ghibli movie. STEVEM has a great video about the adapation process on YouTube, without being unkind to the movie, if youre interested. but yeah. very little of that movie is what LeGuinn wrote, and definitely NOT in the same way as Howl's Moving Castle's movie and book are very different). so i thought id mention it to you

just as a heads up tho, there is a weird instance in book one where LeGuinn says "magic is only for boys" and everyone in-text validates this, for the most part. but then you can see LeGuinn kind of go "waiT, GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING TOO" and, instead of retconning, she goes and talks about sexism as female magic-users start to pioneer their careers in the book. but thats later, thats not in book one. but yeah, you can see where a lot of fantasy (esp Harry Potter) was just as inspired by her as they were by Tolkien (and she didnt have to write in a super technical-and-academic style to do it! ha!!)

but yeah!! it's a really good book series that i think you would have a lot of fun with, and would find it easier to read (without feeling like its talking down to you). i think the ending of book one will especially inspire you. its a beautiful series, full of beautiful world-buidling and delightfully kind twists sprinkled throughout here and there with some really Well Nailed endings (just remember more contemporary stuff was inspired by her; and that, while she was writing, what she was writing was considered novel and new. so anything that feels really played-out for contemporary readers is because people read her new ideas and started copying certain aspects until they became something of a dead horse). if you havent read it yet, i hope you enjoy it. and if you have read it, i hope you enjoy the reminder of it's existance ♡

:,O omg YES i have read a wizard of earthsea before!! but it was ages ago, i really should read it again! ah i haven't seen the ghibli film and have no plans to.. but the book was so good. the interesting thing is, le guin's themes still feel new, at least to me. like a lot of authors have copied what was very shallow about earthsea, but they totally failed to grasp what made the ending so iconic and ged so iconic. like i think when people approach earthsea, they pay the most attention to the action and adventure and le guin's philosophy goes completely over their heads. from what i remember the writing was just a little too dry for my tastes, i'm more drawn to books that are gratuitously indulgent with hedonism, but it's been a very long time since i read earthsea so i will try to reread it soon. thank you for reminding me! ♡

#letters #shwarmi #literature

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years

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I'm imagining the angst of SE Saeran having a child and when they're about 5-6 and drawing a picture of their imaginary friend with blue hair and sunglasses who likes to take pictures. No one has told the child about V, and they havent seen any pictures of him either. They look at Saeran and go "Daddy, V said that its not your fault. I dont know what hes talking about, but I still love you so so so much! Even more than uncle Saeyoung!" -Anon Spicy

(I hope you don’t mind that I had to write for this. I’m using Saeran and my MC’s daughter.) SE Saeran

It had been so many years since it happened. So many years since he had been out of Magenta and away from that life. Ten years, to be precise. He and his brother had lived far longer than either of them had expected to go on. He had reached his third decade of life; it was so different from the last two that you would have never thought that he had gone through what he had gone through.

Perhaps, it was the fact that someone had extended their hand to him and shown him that he could get better and that he was capable of change and being happy. Or, maybe it was the fact that he made the choice for himself to put down his anger and open up again that had been to his benefit.

Whatever it was, he wasn’t sure, but Saeran was just happy that he had put himself out there and allowed himself to become a better person.

His mistakes and actions would always haunt him but they didn’t define him. Just like the trauma that lingered in the back of his head that dared to go make a fuss whenever he was alone with his thoughts for too long.

That aside, today was a good day.

He could see his wife outside chatting with his brother, and some of their friends. He wasn’t quite ready to greet everyone so he was taking his pace. Years may have passed but he did need a bit of preparation time before he immersed himself with others. He paused in the doorway of the kitchen where he noticed his daughter was sitting at the table.

She seemed to be chatting amicably to the air as if there was something there that she could see and nobody else could. He recalled that children would have imaginary friends if they were the type of person to have a creative and active mind. His wife had one of those and he had no doubt that his daughter was all the same.

“Haha... that’s funny. Really? I don’t know... I know. I just don’t wanna go outside till daddy does. It’d be mean to leave him inside by himself. I think he’s coming soon! You think so? Oh! Should I use this color? Oh... okay. I’ll use this one! This is my favorite color.”

This was the first time that he had ever noticed that she was doing this, though. Was she lonely or caught up in her mind? He pondered, as he had never been one to go through such a thing, he had never been able to craft a friend in the midst of what was bothering him. He could only recall the darkness and silence in his childhood.

She was progressing in a way so unlike the way he and his brother had, and he had not a single complaint about that. He was going to leave the room, but something compelled him to stay in the doorway a little longer. Nari was drawing something with a bit of a laugh on her lips and it made him curious.

Nari was often emulating her mother. Her tongue sticking from her lips as she drew on the paper. It was like she was working really hard on it. She took every little thing very seriously.

So, he took a few steps closer and peered over her shoulder as Nari leaned over her drawing, a lot of effort into making it look just right, he assumed. “Princess,” he said, softly. “What are you doing?”

Nari lifted her head up a smidge and beamed at her dad. “Oh, hi daddy!” she chirped with that smile. “I’m drawing my friend. He came to visit today. I think he’s here for the party that we’re having too. He says that I’m doing a really good job at it!”

Saeran took a closer look at what she was drawing, and this time, he got a good look at what she was drawing. His breath caught in his throat when he noticed the style of the person on the page that she had done. There was a mint crayon in her hand as she drew the curls on top of the head and it dawned on him who it looked like.

Tall, stocky, grey clothing, sunglasses, and mint hair.

It was a spitting image of Kim Jihyun.

Nari was only four years old. Nobody in that house had ever mentioned Kim Jihyun, and nobody told her a thing about him. By all accounts, Nari should have never known what he looked like or who he was. It was like he was staring into a nightmare. His throat felt tight and a chill ran down his spine.

What was this?

Was this cosmic punishment?

Was this to remind him that no matter what he did, he would never be able to wash the blood from his hands?

His heart started to race. He had come to terms with what had happened with V and accepted that the man had put himself in a bad place and that he couldn’t blame himself for what he did when he blacked out into a rage. He wasn’t angry with V anymore, but he couldn’t stomach thinking about the man. He couldn’t even bring himself to bring it up.

He had so much guilt over it.

He avoided people except for his tiny for that very reason. He may have been doing better and he may have been free but his heart was marked with his very internal crime.

Saeran didn’t realize that he was shaking until Nari brushed her hand against the cuff of his sleeve and gave it a little tug. It snapped him from the daze that he had been pulled into.

Her brown eyes peered up at him through her messy red curls with a bright and inquisitive look.

“Daddy, V said to tell you that it’s not your fault,” she said, though it seemed like she didn’t know what that meant. “I dunno what he’s talkin’ about. But, he asked really nicely, and mama said that manners s’are important. I dunno what you did with mister V but he keeps talkin’ about you and Uncle Saeyoung! He says he forgives you... um, did you hurt his feelings on the count of somethin’? Daddy?”

Saeran just stared at his daughter for the longest moment as she continued to babble away about her new friendship. Her attention span shifted just as quickly as it had begun, and she sprang up from her chair and looked ready to head out the door. “I don't know what he's talking about, but I still love you so so so much! Even more than uncle Saeyoung! I’m gonna go see mama, now, kay?”

Her little fingers left from his own. With shaking hands, he lifted the drawing in his hand and stared at the piece of paper in his hands for the longest moment as he sucked in a breath. Saeran looked around the room but he saw nothing, not a single thing.

He still felt a chill.

“You shouldn’t forgive me,” he whispered, almost inaudible. “I don’t even forgive me, V.”

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kewltie · 4 years

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anyway, abo au where alpha prohero ground zero decides it's time to start a family of his own but he doesn't have a mate and neither does he want one so he signs up for an omega surrogate program & meet his former childhood friend who will now carry his baby for him.

izuku is a male omega w/ v v v high fertility even for his secondary sex and a strong body which make him an ideal surrogate to give birth healthy babies. w/ the program izuku contracted, izuku had given birth to several babies for various ppl over the years & babies are all happy and that's all that matter.

being a surrogate wasn't ever part of his dream but izuku is an omega & quirkless in a world that doesn't exactly appreciate either. one day when he was fruitlessly working at his 9 to 5 job, a rep from the company approached him w/ a pamphlet about surrogacy. the paid is v v good, the prenatal care & pregnancy compensation is all taken care of by the clients and his company, and he can select and choose which jobs to take. many families and ppl in the world cant have kids of their own for various reasons and izuku is HELPING THEM ACHIEVE THEIR DREAM. in his own way izuku is helping these people!!!! He may not be saving lives has a hero that he always wanted to be but he's giving them their hope and dream in a child they all want so izuku does his job proudly. the only sadness he gets from it that once it's over the baby isn't his anymore bc he's contracted to sign over his parental rights to his clients.

so he tries desperately not to fall desperately in love w/ each of the babies he had. it's... tough but he loves them all the same. the good point is that some of his clients will let him talk and meet w/ their child’s birth parent so izuku isn't deprived of that connection.

it's a quiet and unconventional job, but izuku is happy w/ this lifestyle that he had chosen even as it make DATING AN ABSOLUTE pain. how do you explain to ppl that no you're not marry yet or date anyone but you have several kids floating around all over japan in various household??? lol /o\ this made him feel terribly alone thinking how he wants a family of his own one day after seeing how he's making his client so happy w/ their new baby in their arms. happiness wrapped in a surreal sadness as he watched his babies w/ their new family wishing for that happiness for himself one day but while izuku is settled in his bubble of melancholy an solitude, katsuki BUSTED DOWN THAT DOOR when he made a requested to have a surrogate. NOT JUST ANYONE WILL DO, the best one you FUCKING GOT: experience, results, good health, strong quirk, smart, and not some fucking easy omega.

the qualifications and requirements are obscene and ridiculous lolol but he paid through the roof to get the absolute best for his future child. izuku hits every one of these markers except... for the quirk one. the program hesitate to bring the two to meet but katsuki is impatience. he had been delayed and delayed over and over again for months as they try to match up a good surrogate partner for him. every one of them he had quickly rejected v v loudly and walked out on the meeting. izuku is literally their last hope as katsuki throws another fit.

katsuki is getting older now, close to his 30s annd still stuck in singlehood while all his colleagues and friends settle down with a family of their own. his parents, esp his old hag, has been relentlessly nagging him to GIVE HER A BABY ALREADY SHE WANTS TO BE A GRANDMA BEFORE SHE DIE so w/ all kind of pressures, he said fuck it, i'll give you a fucking BABY but i dont need a mate to do it but in truth he earnestly does want a baby for his own bc the idea of raising a tiny human w/ all the trails and errors and potentially fucking up is humbling & huge responsibility. he thinks he’s up for it like the pro-stage where he's standing at the top now, he can conquered it w sheer force and effort as he does w/ any challenge that he face. Parenthood will be his greatest battle and hurdle he has to overcome and he's going to fucking ACE IT. so katsuki is 10000% in this and he wants the best surrogate for his baby.

the program finally have izuku & katsuki meet after wasting 5 months of trying to find katsuki a suitable partner that he won't reject right away. so their first meeting go something like this: multiple slam doors, a table is flipped, and a lot of yelling.

it went great because izuku is hired right away. Just kidding.

katsuki had thought it was some giant fucking joke the moment izuku had walked through that door. "Who the fuck set this up?!" he demanded, kicking a coffee table over. so furious that his hands were shaking bc the idea of the length he'd went through and hoops he'd jumped over to get here JUST SO HE CAN BE MAKE A FOOL OUT OF, he'd stormed out a sec later, slamming doors violently on his way out and they had to dragged his ass back w/ the fervent promise that no IT'S NOT A PRANK AND WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO W/ CHARGEBOLT OR RED RIOT, PLS PLS LISTEN TO US.

he came back to izuku's unperturbed face as he took a sip of his coffee and katsuki snapped defensively, "i hope you won't fucking be drinking that piss when you're pregnant with my baby."

Unimpressed, Izuku replied, "good thing im not pregnant yet bc who said i would agree."

Flustered and red in the face w/ anger bc THE AUDACITY OF IZUKU TO REJECT HIM WHEN KATSUKI SHOULD BE THE ONE TO DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE!! izuku was the one who doesn't deserve to carry his child!! but the director of the program hurriedly assured him that izuku IS THE *BEST*. he got a pages of recommendation/referral, glowing reviews, and every client of his had never been happier bc of him. all his pregnancy were carried to full term and the babies are all good & strong. izuku himself go the gym when he's not on the job, keeping a healthy lifestyle. he doesn't drink or smoke (which katsuki emphasized in his requirement) and his family doesn't have any record any genetic disorder. he may not have finish college but he test high in his IQ and he take his job v v v seriously. the only problem was... he's quirkless.

it's a thing izuku always make it point for all his clients to know what they could potentially get w/ their children if they chose him. some walked away but most stayed with bc izuku is THE BEST OF THE BEST and they want kid more than they want a manufactured perfect child.

"will that be a problem?" izuku asked, meeting his eyes dead on. "does the thought of having a quirkless child anger you?"

katsuki bristles, clenching & unclenching his hands at his side. though no much had change over the years, he's older now, not that dumbass kid anymore, misguided by his own sense of pride and arrogance and warped by prejudice and the superiority of his quirk. He had left that behind in UA, who happily beaten the idiocy out of him. now, he doesn't care if his child is quirkless or not bc they're his and he'll raise and love them all the same. if the world treat his kid crap for being quirkless, he'll teach them to fuck the world up till it bow down and kiss their ass bc they're a bakugou and they don't settle for anything less, which brought back to the point that izuku REALLY IS THE BEST THEY GOT.

so he shook his head and said, "it doesn't matter whether they're quirkless or not bc they're mine and i always take good care of what's mine."

Izuku's eyes widen and for fraction of a second his cool mask of difference crack under katsuki's heartfelt and sincere words. They havent seen each other since middle school, that’s over a decade, and katsuki truly have grown up into someone the entire world can admire and hold up on a pedestal as the no. 1 hero in the country.

"And what about you? you're okay with me?" katsuki retorted. "with the kind of volatile *history* that we shared."

Izuku paused, and then, he said quietly, "i'm not that petty to deny you a child bc of our past bc neither of us are the kids we were back then."

katsuki stood up. "get him the paperworks and have him sign it. i want him and nobody else."

Izuku jerked up in surprised. "that's it? you dont want to ask me anything else? don't you want to go through my records and background to make sure that im the right fit for you."

katsuki stared down at him and it was like pinned under glass before he said, "we may have changed, but something are still the same. you still want to help ppl even if this is a roundabout way to do it. i trust my instinct and my instinct is screaming at me to give you a fucking chance." He looked away, scratching the back of his head as he continued, "if there's one thing that is made clear to me now is that you're a good person and i was a shittyass kid for not realizing that sooner."

izuku's breath hitched. it's not an apology but it's damn close.

and with that he left izuku dizzy with a confusing cocktail of warmth, shock, and something far too nebulous and strange for him to put a finger to yet. when he first realized it was katsuki who was looking for a surrogate, he'd steel himself of the rejection & lashing out to come. izuku had spent his entire life rejected one way or another, so he was mentally prepare for this to be added to pile esp from the man who had hurt him repeatedly before. when katsuki had left for U.A. and izuku in the dust, they rarely have anything to do w/ each other after that even as he'd followed katsuki meteoric rise to the top, his blazing trajectory that placed him as the current no.1 bc despite everything, katsuki truly is amazing and deserved his place. he just never thought they would meet again in the sort of situation where a baby is the bargaining chip.

izuku was prepared for everything that katsuki would throw at him... but not his fervent agreement. now, izuku got to face the fact that for a year they're going to spend in each other pocket as izuku tries to carry not only katsuki's baby but his hope and future too. it's going to be either a total nightmare or some v v surreal dream bc it's bakugou katsuki with all that fame and temper and strong armed will and izuku is just... plain old izuku. he never had a client w/ such power and weight to throw around and so high profile that every know his name.

oh what did he sign up for, izuku thought as the door to the meeting room was slammed open again and katsuki glared at the director. "wait i want it all to be done today," katsuki said. "put my sperms in him as soon as possible."

izuku dropped his face into his hand and sighed.

the process of getting izuku impregnated is all v clinical and boring. izuku goes under a pseudo heat simulation that fool his body to think he's actually going into heat so his fertility up even more so during this period and he get artificially inseminated w/ katsuki's sperm. this is actually a process and takes several days & even weeks to prepare bc waiting for izuku's most fertile window during his heat period is v v important to have higher chance of success NORMALLY but w/ advance tech izuku can go under a pseudo heat that trigger release of eggs so they can get it all done pretty quickly and dont have to wait for nature to set it up for them.

katsuki already provided enough sperm to last a fucking lifetime bc he's an overly prepared asshole and it's three days later when they meet back at the clinic to start the process. all of this is under the watchful care of doctors and nurses to make sure everything go right. izuku had done this many times before for his previous clients so this isn't new to him at all but it's the first time that a client specifically demand to be part of the entire process.

izuku stares him down and tells him in no uncertain detail bc it's already weird enough to be the one to carry his former childhood friend's baby but to have him watch izuku get inseminated w/ his sperm?? YEA OK, no. katsuki glowers bc he just want everything to GO SMOOTHLY. his micromanagement & obsessiveness drives the clinic insane but izuku kinda finds it funny and cute?? maybe bc he's aware that it's just katsuki's nerves acting up since this is so terribly new and terrifying for him and HE DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN THINGS ARENT UNDER HIS CONTROL.

neither katsuki or izuku is alone this bc surrogacy isn't about either them it's about the baby and the ppl who helps make it possible and that's both of them. the surrogate who carries the unborn fetus and donor who gives a part of themselves to make it all possible. izuku hesitates before deciding screw it & reaches out and holds katsuki's hand in comfort AS THOUGH KATSUKI THE ONE GETTING THE PROCEDURE DONE TO HIM. "i'll be fine," he insists. "i've done this plenty of times before and dr. abe even longer than that with 20yrs of experience so i'll be ok."

"I'm not worry," katsuki snaps, even though he squeezes Izuku's hand hard enough that izuku is afraid his bones might crack under the pressure. "i know you'll be fucking fine, wont he dr. abe?" he stares down at the doctor with the full force of his wrath that the doctor shifts nervously.

"o-of course, bakugou-san," dr abe is quick to assure him. "our best ppl is on the job."

izuku rolls his eyes bc while heat inducing artificial insemination isn't exactly a new tech but there's a risk to any kind of medical procedure. it's low though and izuku isn't worry.

katsuki lets him go and izuku just sends him a quick reassuring smile over his shoulder even as katsuki can't take his eyes off of the entire trip to the surgical room. the process takes around 1-2 hours max & izuku comes out of it mostly woozy & still under heat related stress.

he needs to rest the next few days as he lets nature and w/ the help of science takes it course. izuku rests up at the clinic that provide him 24hrs care to make sure everything is alright which is all normal and part of the procedure. what surprise him is that katsuki visiting him DAILY. he actually bring izuku's home cooked meals that are carefully & thoughtfully prepared (healthy food choices!!) that it silences him for a moment.

"you know im not pregnant yet," izuku points out helpfully. "do you want me to explain how biology work in case UA didn't go over it in their curriculum?"

"shut your face and just eat," katsuki says with a glower, and watches intensely as izuku eats every bite and not leave a single piece behind. while there he harasses izuku's nurses and doctors, asking for izuku's vital stats and probing questions about the surgery & his health.it's so annoying and overbearing, but izuku can't help the smile threatening to break through his defense bc that's just like katsuki shoving his business into everything and dominating the entire process even though it is IZUKU who is going through it all. it's dreadfully cute.

izuku is fully recovered after several days of rest as expected and he is, once again surprised, to see katsuki is right there every step of the way as he is release from the clinic. katsuki who took a short shift today just so he can pick izuku up, which IS SUPER RARE. katsuki is a total workaholic and married to his job kind of pro hero so for him to take half a day off is beyond shocking for everyone?? bc HE GOT ENOUGH VACATION/SICK DAYS TO TAKE SEVERAL MONTHS OFF w/o any worry, but he came to take izuku home and make sure everything is in order.

it's not that izuku didn't have any clients wanting to be so involve in the whole surrogacy/pregnancy process but katsuki takes it into a whole new lvl w/ how much he inserts himself into izuku's life like it's not just the baby he care about but izuku too. he delivers izuku home and make sure izuku have his emergency contacts at all time in case ANYTHING, ABSOLUTEY ANYTHING HAPPEN and he wants izuku to text him daily with updates even for stupid things. he's obsessive and demanding and nervous, and izuku thinks it's funny as hell.

so for the next several weeks, izuku flood katsuki's phone w/ commentary about his days that HAS NOTHING TO DO W/ his chance of being pregnant. since izuku full time job is just being a surrogate, he mostly spend his days wandering around the city, reading, volunteering, etc. izuku updates katsuki on his daily activities and while he doesn't always get a reply immediately but his updates are always left on read and sometimes katsuki would leave some *encouraging* word like 'yea,' or 'okay' and izuku doesn't know why but he finds them comforting all the same.

when he wanders around the city, he'll text katsuki his coordinates bc katsuki is paranoid &wants him to keep away from dangerous area or area under villain attack, he would take pictures of the heroes he see and katsuki would have a snarky comments on each & every one of them. it's in this moments that the two of them really come alive. izuku get a glimpse of the world that he could have had if he had a quirk and pursue his dream of going pro hero and insights on what it's like to be bakugou katsuki, the man standing at the pinnacle of the pro hero scene.

At this point katsuki is even more engaged in izuku's text now. he becomes interest in the books izuku is currently reading, the outreach programs izuku super passionate about esp for young and disenfranchise quirkless youths. then there are izuku's rowdy neighbors and their hilariously complicated love life that izuku is terribly invested bc of his lack of one.

"i think higa-san is going to break up with him today," izuku would update him one day, after watching his neighbors have another blow out.

katsuki texts back an hour later: "yea right, the guy is spineless coward. he wouldn't ever go through it."

izuku lets out a smile as he stares down at the text. it's the most fun izuku ever had in the middle of a job that he forget they're not friends at all but client and surrogate. this is a job for him and izuku is an end to a mean for katsuki. it doesn't mean anything. It couldn’t mean anything. Why is he even trying?

Izuku has been doing the job for seven years and carried his pregnancy to full terms five times. he knows the routine even though each client he had were different from one another and not all pregnancy are the same, but he knows what to expect and prepare. nothing truly surprised him anymore. Or at least they shouldn’t. ,his world didn't suddenly change w/ katsuki's arrival in his ordinary life. izuku is still very much the same person, but all the same he wake up everyday w/ renews energy and lightens heart, looking forward to seeing the text notification from katsuki popping up on his phone screen.

he finds himself looking forward to their interaction the most throughout his days. a glimpse into katsuki's world and what it means to be a part of his life again however temporary it is bc izuku knows there is a time limit to this. he's only allow to talk like this w/ katsuki bc he's doing him a favor, a job, an obligation in exchange of money. they're in a relationship artificially made, they're not friends or colleagues and izuku may be carrying katsuki's baby in the future but he's not a parent w/ katsuki.

He’s an incubator.

these thoughts feel tangibly familiar to his past cases where he had carried the fetus to full term and had to part ways with his baby and the client/parents and separate himself from their lives after the birth but it had never hurt in this way like the thoughts alone would cut his heart into pieces now. it's beyond selfish to get attach and izuku tries to maintain a careful distance w/ katsuki bc they're client and an employee, but katsuki is relentless. he won't settle for just for pieces of izuku and his life. he wants it all. Izuku may be weak enough to give it to him…

he invests himself into izuku's life, his interest, his worries and thoughts. to katsuki, izuku isn't just an incubator but someone who shares the other half of his baby's genes so of fucking course he IS INVESTED BC izuku is just as important as the fetus he could be carrying right now but izuku has a hard time wrapping his head around it bc while izuku was w/ his other client they were all kind and caring to him during his surrogacy but never to this length. they weren't interest in him as a person but someone who is a means to an end, a tool to make their dream come true.

izuku isn't hurt by that regard bc he knows getting involve w/ your surrogate can be a hot mess & confusing for the baby growing up so izuku knows how to keep his distance and careful to keep his heart walled up but katsuki has a habit of breaking things. He’s so very, very good at it, especially distubring the peace of izuku’s heart.

katsuki may be relentless w/ his attention & dedication but izuku's walls went down embarrassingly easy as though he was waiting for katsuki to reach out toward him after all the years apart and shake him loose from his bubble of solitude. katsuki doesn't realize how affected izuku is by his clumsy and gestures, but izuku won't tell. He’s too embarrassed to ever bring it up because even after all these years katsuki still has such a sever effect on him.

so izuku lends himself to enjoy this upcoming months as much as he can bc once it's over they will part ways again as though they exist solely in different space and the only chance he'll get to see katsuki and the baby is through the screen of his tv. it doesn't bring him any comfort but it's manageable. izuku can deal with it. he got years to get used to it by now. It’s not gentle but it’s a blunt kind of truth that mend with time.

several weeks after since izuku did the procedure, he doesn't feel any different but izuku wakes up one morning and he could feel a strangeness settling over his body. there are a lot of old wives tales about pregnant omegas and women and most of them are false, standing against scientific knowledge but izuku been going around this block five times already, so he realizes there may be some truths to a few of them.

he gets out of bed and makes breakfast before making sure to send a text and photo to katsuki about his meals bc katsuki is ANAL about making izuku eat right. katsuki motherhenning him miles away even as he is out on patrol is still the most hilarious and weirdly sweet thing, izuku finds. it doesn't feel suffocating at all to him. sometimes he when the thought slip out of him unconsciously he thinks this is what it's like to have an alpha of his own, but katsuki isn't his by any means.

izuku forgoes his favorite breakfast meal this time and go for something he rarely eats. a food that he normally doesn't chose but it feels right this time. it all clicks. the signs were all there several days back. the frequent bathroom usage, his breasts throbbing, and cramps. he'd seen it already but this morning it lines up perfectly like it was all meant to be, like everything is built up just for this moment right here.

so with a bounce to his steps, he waits for katsuki's text back. It takes a few mins when katsuki get back from his morning run bc he got a routine and is terribly predictable in that regard. his following texts rip into izuku's choice of food bc IT ISN'T HIS USUAL at all and katsuki have colorful words about the kind of junk izuku force feed into his body and DOESN'T HE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. HOW THE FUCK DID HE SURVIVES ALL THESE YEARS ON HIS OWN.

izuku smiles down at his phone even though katsuki is blasting him and everything he choose to be, but HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT ALL MEANS. it's kinda adorable so when katsuki get into a slow rant about food group and healthy life choices, izuku cuts in:

me: oh btw im pregnant :)

he didn't get any get any respond from katsuki for the next five mins so during that time izuku makes fresh cup of juice to drink while katsuki works to settle down his panic. when he comes back fifteen mins later, it's to a series of angry keymash and texts.

kacchan: a;sjdasdf

kacchan: as;dlifucccck

kacchan: fuck fuck fuck

kacchan: are you serious?!

kacchan: DONT FUCKING JOKE WIHT ME DEKU

kacchan: i'm coming over right now

kacchan: you better be sitting down

kacchan: don't fucking move even an inch

kacchan: YOU HEAR ME

me: ok

izuku sits there peacefully, enjoying his cup of juice as he waits for katsuki's arrival. one of his hand rests over his stomach carefully & though he hadn't taken any test or get his bloodwork done, he knows, instinctively & intimately that there is a life growing inside of him.

it's all very silly and unproven since there's no concrete evidence to support any of it, but maybe it's his omega instinct, maybe it's his experience as a carrier who brought five children into this world, or maybe it's just wishful thinking on his part, but he knows and this is a truth that won’t be brought down.

izuku takes his job v seriously bc people's happiness hinged on his ability to give them a child they earnestly had wished for so he of course he would want to be pregnant as soon as possible, but--izuku looks down at his stomach, this time even more so he wants it to be real.

he wants to be the one to fulfilled katsuki's earnest wish and give him the child he desired. it's as much a part of his job, his duty, but also something he selfishly wants for himself. this baby, this child will be his only connection to katsuki once his job his completed. they'll part ways after this--no more late night phone calls, morning texts, and silly anecdotes they exchange to each other everyday bc izuku is unlikely to ever see him again. their worlds are just too far apart, like the two planets stuck in orbit but never meeting but at least with this child, izuku knows there is always a piece of him w/ katsuki always. so more than anything, this child will be his gift to katsuki.

he picks up his phone & sends katsuki a text.

me: if you dont mind, could you pick up a pregnancy test just to be sure?

izuku knows himself & his body, but he wants to be 110% sure for katsuki's sake. he doesn't want to get katsuki's hope up only to crush it later. katsuki's respond back is quick and telling.

kacchan: will three do?

kacchan: do you need anything else?

kacchan: i'll get them

izuku pauses, frowning hard as he looks down at his phone.

me: please don't text and drive

me: also, try stay below the speed limits

me: i dont want you to die before you see your child.

this time it takes longer to get a respond back.

kacchan: dont fucking talk to me about the speed laws kacchan: im not a reckless idiot

kacchan: my entire job description is to uphold the law so degenerates dont fucking run amok

kacchan: ... im not driving right now

izuku's brows furrow in thought before a smile cracks across his face.

me: kacchan... did you pull over to the side just to yell at me?

me: that's so terribly cautious and cute of you :3c

me: you're already on your way to becoming a great dad.

kacchan: FUCK YOU!!!!!!

Izuku laughs, light and so tinged with joy that it feels so strange to him to be this happy about something silly as this.

me: not a chance but thanks.

me: dont forget to buy my pregnancy test and i dont need anything else. just come here as soon as possible afterward

and he leaves it that. katsuki doesnt text him back anymore, leaving izuku to wait for his arrival with anticipation. he should get up and clean the apartment so it's presentable at least to katsuki. he hadn't had a guest in a while so this would get a good change but katsuki's warning still loop in his head. getting up to clean the apartment would constitute moving around and izuku is barely into his first trimester so, it's not like he's straining his body or anything. katsuki is just being an overbearing anxious new father.

izuku had seen that before in his past clients, who constantly fret over izuku's health but they're not THE GROUND ZERO and he has the nagging suspicious that he doesn't want to test katsuki's thinning patience with him. it's fun to tease him like this but he knows his limit. so izuku continues to sit there & waits, playing w/ his phone as he scrolls through the hero news site to check any interesting updates. izuku may have long let go of his dream but he can't disconnect from it completely. it's how he stay in the loop w/o actually being a part of it.

izuku's eyes widen as he spots a tweet on the #groundzero tag on twitter that sits atop of all others: "no jokes, guys i think i just a saw #groundzero stormed into my store and headed toward the omega’s hygiene care aisle. he bought a bunch of stuff before heading out.”

it already got a several thousands likes and retweets, with a flood of comments that ranged from "what?? sounds fake lol" or "okay, who would have guess gz would be the one to secretly keeping an omega on the side" and others are filled with more confusion and disbelief.

izuku makes a face. his contract binds him to confidentially and assurance that his identity remains quiet. he never had any problem with his identity being exposed w/ any of previous clients but then again he never had such a famous client before. this--is going to be a headache. he chews down on his lower lip in thought as he shuts down his phone. he's going to have to remind katsuki to be more careful next time lest they figure out what katsuki is up to... and who izuku is to him. not his friend, not his sweetheart, not his omega but his surrogate.

just as izuku ponders about doing damage control, there is a series of loud insistent knocks on his apartment door. izuku blinks and hurriedly to the door w/o any thought who is on the other side bc somehow he knows it got to be *him*.

he opens to door to katsuki's scowling face.

"i told you to not fucking move," katsuki scolds, and pushes his way inside w/o any invite, carefully moving izuku to the side like izuku is made of glass which make izuku annoyed right away but also painfully fond in that . he's an overprotective idiot but he's trying and that's--*something*.

"how else would i let you in then," izuku retorts, rolling his eyes as he leads katsuki into apartment. "im only couple of weeks pregnant at most and you're already asking for miracles."

katsuki scoffs but doesn't argue as he hands izuku a full plastic bag. "okay, start peeing."

"I--" Izuku opens the bag and looks inside, staring down at the pregnancy tests stuffed to the rim of the small bag, all eleven boxes of them, "I dont have enough pee for this."

katsuki frowns. "drink a lot of water then," he suggests.

Izuku shoots him a glare. "that's not funny," he snaps.

katsuki's frowns deepen. "i'm not being funny," he says.

Izuku sighs and just digs his hand into the bag to grab a handful of the boxes. "i'll do only two so dont even." he throws the rest of the bag at katsuki and heads toward the bathroom.

it horrifyingly takes them all 30mins to be done w/ the tests bc katsuki v loudly insisted that he should do more than two, kept on banging on the bathroom door to let him know that. izuku gritted his teeth and took three more and really DID RAN OUT OF PEE AFTER THE FIFTH ONE.

the wait for the test results which only take a mins or two is ramped up by katsuki anxiously pacing back and forth in front of izuku until izuku grabs him by the sleeve of his shirt and drags him down to the sit next to him in the couch. "it'll be okay," he assures katsuki.

katsuki scowls and brushes off his touch, but he seems to breathe a little easier after that. the first three tests gives them a positive, the fourth is a negative, and the fifth is a positive. izuku frowns at the result. he knows in his heart that is w/o a doubt pregnant and the majority of the results support that but, he casts a nervous glance katsuki whose face is seemingly troubled, that's probably not enough for katsuki who spend a load of money to afford izuku's time, commitment, and body. Izuku is expensive but so is katsuki’s time and investment.

he definitely wants more than a dubious result that isn't 100% guarantee that izuku's pregnant and even if izuku tells him that he is truly pregnant bc izuku knows his own body, that may not go well either. "we can get the bloodwork done tomorrow to check for sure," izuku tries to assures him. Sometimes science speak louder than a parental instinct.

katsuki stares at him, eyes so intently focus on izuku that he feels like's a butterfly pinned under katsuki's gaze. abruptly, he reaches a hand out and grabs Izuku's own, giving it a quick and purposeful squeeze. "Move in with me," he says, sounding so grave and serious.

izuku gets up from his seat. "Do you want something to drink?" he asks, already heading toward the kitchen. "suddenly, im parched."

"did you hear what i just said?!" katsuki demands, trailing after him like a yapping puppy on his heels. "And sit the fuck down! let me get it."

abruptly, izuku stops and turns around to face katsuki with a glower on his face. "im just pregnant and not an invalid," he snaps, annoyance prickling at him. he had been doing this longer than katsuki could even imagine. "And i can get the drinks myself in my *own* home thank you." katsuki's eyes widen slightly at the sharp tone izuku had quickly adapted and heaves a sigh, carding a hand through his hair in frustration like izuku is the one being purposely difficult here. "I--fuck--" He frowns, face scrunches as he search for his next words. izuku waits it out, patient and silence against the inner turmoil that must now be swirling inside of katsuki.

katsuki's gaze drops to the floor, hands balling at his side. his breathing even out as he grimaces. "sorry," he finally settles on with a quiet mumble.

Izuku steps back in surprise. shock, really. "w--wait can repeat that again because i just thought i heard you apologized without any prompting."

katsuki flushes, ducking his head. "shut the fuck up. im not going to repeat myself," he rebukes, but the damage had been done.

Despite the years tempering his recklessness out he can't help wanting to poke the hornet's nest. "i honestly didn't think sorry was in your vocabulary, kacchan," he teases, grinning.

katsuki flinches back as though struck, surprising izuku once more. the words were said in jest, meant to ease katsuki into a laugh or close to it at least but something like pained flickers across Katsuki's face that immediately izuku wants to take it all back, but katsuki's expression had already closed up.

Izuku's heart hurt, thinking that he'd lost him. he'd pushed too hard. they're aren't friends, barely acquaintances really. just a client-employee dynamic that izuku should have been careful of. he always know where to toe the line of the boundaries of his job and with his client, but--they were doing so well that he'd hoped. been so hopeful because it had almost feels like they were sort of friends again.

izuku and katsuki had always orbit each other's world but childish pride, anger, and superiority had torn them apart and izuku was pushed out of Katsuki’s life. now that they're older, izuku is no longer that child blindingly infatuated with this remarkable person before him. he knows what he's capable of and katsuki had certainly earned his place at the top of the world but he won't be cowed either. so it's fine if katsuki doesn't want to fall back into a some kind of make shift friendship with him. it's fine if he just want to think izuku is just a walking incubator for his child. izuku will survive. He had survive this long without katsuki ‘s looming shadow after all.

katsuki hunches over as he grits his teeth. "fuck."

izuku blinks.

"i'm not that shitty fucked up kid anymore," katsuki nearly growl out, pinning izuku with a look of full intent. "I'm," he swallows, hesitant, wary, "i'm trying to be a better person, a friend, a son, and most importantly a father now that we have a spawn coming our way."

Izuku's heart quickens at the 'we' usage even though it probably means nothing. nothing at all. katsuki was only just opening himself to him. this is something that startling new and truly welcoming experience for katsuki and izuku shouldn't mistake it for anything else. he can't be too greedy. so he steps forward, wanting to reach out and touch katsuki to affirm of his existence, but he doesn't. not when katsuki is like an exposed wire right now--twitchy, nervous, and just a little shy of imploding from carving himself open for izuku to see all his true feelings and motives.

izuku smiles.

"If i didn't think you were a good person then i wouldn't have entrusted this child,” he touches his still flat stomach, knowing life is stirring underneath his palm, "with you." katsuki truly had grown up. he'll be a good father, izuku muses but it's a bittersweet feeling. "i still want my independence though," he continues. "i've done this many times before so you can stop treating me like i'm going to break if you breath the wrong way. thousands and millions of omegas and women have been doing this a lot longer than me and they're fine. im fine, so breathe."

katsuki's presses his lip together into a grim line. "I know that," he shakes his head, "but you dont have to this alone. i'll want to be there with you every step of the way even if it mean you need someone to run to the grocery store for some shitty midnight craving. I want to be the first person you think about when you need any kind of assistance not because you're weak or helpless but because you just need someone, so let me be that person for you," he finishes, looking on in pained after spouting such sweet sentiments.

it makes izuku want to laugh, but he doesn't think that would be welcoming right now because katsuki still got his pride after all. "I'll think about it," he acquiesce, heart warming several hundred degrees as though he's standing under the direct sunlight of bakugou katsuki.

katsuki grimaces, clearly unhappy with izuku's non-answer but he relents anyway with a long heave. "ok, ok, i can deal with that," he says like the words alone was hard enough to swallow, "but if you change your mind at any moment just let fucking know!"

Oh, no, izuku thinks helplessly. he wants to give katsuki a treat for being so annoyingly overbearing but considerate in his own clumsy ways. "well, if you behave yourself, i might even consider taking you with me to my OBGYN doc this thursday," he says casually with a shrug.

Katsuki scowls, but he stands up straighter. "I'll--" he looks away, flushed with an earnest yearning spread across his face, "be good, okay?"

Izuku quietly tucks a smile between his pressed lips before it break through even though this is terrible for his weak, weak heart.

#bakudeku #not!fic #surrogate au #hi SORRY im back now #i got distracted by uh reading some stuff so i didn't keep up with my post QQ

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ledamemangociana · 4 years

Text

2020 20 questions meme time UWU

i was tagged by @decertatio to do this! i havent spent enough time on here recently to tag anyone, B U T! if you see this and would like to do this, consider yourself tagged, and let me know! i wanna read your answers UWU

-----

1. Do you make your bed? - GAWD NO, at least not 70% of the time, im so bad at this. it’s coz on the weekdays, i start working at 6:30am or 7am at home coz my bosses are in Australia and a lot of our clients are in Australia and/or New Zealand, and they’re 3 or 4 hours ahead of us, so i gotta get on those emails and support case tickets as soon as i can, so i give myself about an hour to catch up, and then i hurry out of the condo to get to the office before im marked late at 10am lolololol. on the weekends, when im at home, BECAUSE im just at home, i never fix my bed coz im in it 85% of the time anyway lakdjf

2. What’s your favorite number? - 13, cliche as it sounds. not coz i think it’s lucky or anything, but because other people around me thought it was. i kind of clung onto it when i was in high school coz i wanted to fit in by standing out.

3. What’s your job? - An accounts and client services manager at a digital services agency.

4. If you could, would you go back to school? - Probably not. I love learning, HATE studying.

5. Can you parallel park? - i never got far enough into being taught how to drive by mom to get to parking

6. A job you had which would surprise people? I think every job I’ve ever held, tbh. I graduated interior design mainly because my dad told me to when i asked him if i should enroll in advertising instead (the entrance exam i passed was good for either course). the only ID job i ever had lasted only two weeks, at a firm i had to do my internship/OJT at. it was my first job, and i was let go after two weeks. after that, i was a call center agent for two months, and then a copywriter for 6 months, and then an SEO specialist for a year and a half, and then a social media content/community manager at one firm for one year, and then for another agency for 3 and a half, and now im in my second year as an accounts manager at a digital services cloud agency. even i’m surprised at this job list tbh.

7. Do you think aliens are real? - i absolutely do believe that we are not the only life in this big, huge, wide, expansive universe that the planet earth is but a miniscule blip on. there’s definitely other life out there.

8. Can you drive a manual car? - i haven’t driven a car legitimately outside of learning how to drive, but yeh i probably can, since that was what my mom taught me with.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? - junk food and soft drinks, but in general i try not to feel guilty about anything i take pleasure in

10. Tattoos? - none, but i am ACHING for them. i’ve had ideas for a loooong time. one that i DEFINITELY want to get as my first one is part of a letter that i found that my mom wrote for me in high school. “i know that you will be able to stand up for yourself and the world will stop and take notice.” i still have the letter, so i still have it in her handwriting. i want it on the inside of my left forearm.

11. Favorite color? - Pink! lighter/softer/pastel shades are my preferred ones, but i love any shade or hue of pink tbh

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? - i hate fake guilt trips. like, when someone wants me to do something that i can’t do, they’ll come in with like “nah, it’s fine, i’ll just drop all these SUPER IMPORTANT things im doing and go out of my way to do this thing that im asking you to do because i’m SOOOOO sorry that you’re unable to do it yourself” coz it’s like...dude, if you really were able to do that or if you wanted to actually do that, you wouldn’t have asked me to do the thing in the first place. like, you’re clearly just saying that to make me feel bad enough to make me drop everything im doing and do whatever it is you asked me to do. i also hate when ppl fish for compliments by being falsely humble or self-deprecating. like. PLEASE, y’all, i’ve lived with negative amounts of self-esteem for literal decades, i know the difference between actual self-loathing and you just wanting to hear good things about yourself that you don’t want to be called narcissistic for saying about yourself. i know what it sounds like when someone is actually going THRU something or is actually having an actual hard time accepting themselves and/or asking people for what they need as opposed to when someone just wants to be told something. like. don’t insult my intelligence and experiences like that. granted, there are nuances to consider for all of these things, bUT like i said, i know the differences when i see them.

13. Any Phobias? - i have a phobia of drowning that’s light enough to NOT keep me away from water but bad enough to sometimes make watching or listening to scenes where someone could potentially drown to set some triggers off for me. i also just have a really really bad fear of dying because of getting my oxygen cut off, coz that sounds like a really slow, painful way to die.

14. Favorite childhood sport? - i was never really a sports kid. the only sport i ever really enjoyed playing willingly was badminton. i trained for a few summers but never competed, but i got good enough to make games in a court fun. i still have my badminton racquet, it’s the only Legit™ badminton racquet in the house (it’s a Yonex, handed down to me by my trainer, only been restrung twice or thrice coz the last restringing was done so damn well), all the other racquets were inexpensive unbranded knock-offs that were good enough for me and my family to have casual games with.

15. Do you talk to yourself? - yes but mostly as a product of deep focus or concentration, or really heavy emotion. having social media has lessened doing it for the latter since i can just vent on here or on twitter, but when im doing stuff for work that’s hard or needs a lot of focus or concentration, i have full-on stand-up meetings with myself.

16. What movie do you adore? - “Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion.” it’s not a perfect movie by any means, but for someone who was a bullied outcast for much of elementary and high school years in a private, all-girls, Catholic school where everyone was tall and thin and pretty and pale and smart and popular, ALL the things that i wasn’t, it was - is? - like a beacon or a hug.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? - heck yeh, coz solving them makes me feel smart, and not being able to solve them but learning HOW to is so much fun for me.

18. Favorite kind of music? - i don’t know that i have one, to be honest, i haven’t listened to current radio in literal YEARS because i dont own a radio in the condo, i barely watch TV anymore, and i dont spend enough time in a vehicle to really know what’s up. i enjoy pop, hip-hop, rnb, showtunes.

19. Tea or coffee? - more of a coffee person myself, actual tea always just tastes LEGITIMATELY like leaf water to me, and i cant find a liking for it. i do really love sweet tea and milktea tho. but yeh, im mostly a bean juice person.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? - An architect, like my dad. i thought i would be one, up until i discovered writing in high school, and then i thought i wanted to become a journalist until i took it up as my first course in college and hated it. but yeh, it was always “architect! like daddy!” when i was asked that question when i was a kid. i looked up to him so much as a kid, and he and i were super tight when i was younger coz i was his firstborn and a daughter. we used to call each other best friends. i miss those days a lot; things between us seemed simpler, but maybe that’s because i didn’t have the ideals, knowledge and capacity to question the way he loves/loved me as My Parent™. our relationship these days is absolutely skewed and skewered.

#personalciana #Mango Goes to Jail #memeciana

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hubofinsanity · 5 years

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hey bro. i saw that u said ur struggling with being alone in college. while i dont know exactly how it feels, im currently a highschool freshman struggling with being alone so i kind sorta not really get your pain. being alone sucks and it sucks even more when we see others who arent and i Get That. you just gotta remember that, despite how it may feel, youre not really all that alone. and i KNOW that like 'uR NoT ReaLLY AlOne" sounds like bs and that im invalidating ur loneliness (1/2)

(2/2) but when i say that i mean that theres potential to not feel alone. if i just told you to 'go out and talk to people' and 'its not that hard' id be a hypocrite and i am many things but i try not to be a hypocrite. i fucking get how hard it is to talk to people but i believe in you. colleges are fucking huge i think. i bet you'll find people. i believe in you. and for now, know that there are plenty of people who know how you feel.we're here. its gonna be fine

I have so many things to talk about with this just because i enjoy pulling out everything and responding to it because I’m on my medication (medical cannabis, fight me PTSD) basically don’t feel the need t read all of this hoenstly im just going to ramble for half of this prolly.

1. YOU’RE A B A B E Y

2. hey man sometimes you gotta pull a ‘Do as i say not as i do’ hypocrisy is part of life sometimes. like i’ll probably tell you not to worship my cat as a god. but i do. she’s fucking adorable and could eat me and i’d thank her. also why the fuck is it spelt hypocrisy that just look like it should be pronounces like hypocrispy but without a p which kinda sounds right but it’s not they should have spelled it hypocrasy because that makes fucking sense when you sound it out. (told you i’d ramble, watch out kids oldie andy is comin out)

3. my college is p. small actually b/c there’s a big one like 3 blocks away. plus i don’t live in that part of town because i have ptsd and my mom lives in suburbs so i go to suburbs. basically, here’s some advice for if you do want to have freinds in college - live nearby, actually ask for people’s numbers and text them when you get their numbers (shout out to the guy i like that i ramble about to my friends that i just never talk to b/c im scared ill annoy him) and uhhhh idk be an interesting person?

4. i personally don’t think people will really want to be my friend because of a stigmatized mental illness i have that like if you know what it is it’s clear i have it and if you don’t know anything about it you’ll still not like me because honestly it can make me a little weird but like people think it’s all these big bad type of people and i don’t do that type of stuff and it’s hard to find people who would try to be my friend despite everything. i also just havent had actual good friends and have issues with relationships due to childhood trauma and haven’t been able to form a long lasting connection of any variety for over a decade and i’m only 18.

sorry for the rambling TL;DR uhhhh hypocrisy is sometimes needed and is also spelt stupid community colleges right next to universities are good for transferring and finances, not for having people close to my age at school, actually text people, i have issues with building relationships and thus have issues making friends and haven’t had a long lasting connection literally all my life.

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keith-is-not-an-emo · 5 years

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which fics are you reading atm if you don’t mind sharing? ty!

Oh boy anon, oh boy.

You don’t know what you’ve done.

There will be E rated fics but they won’t solely be smut fics or too extreme.

edit: it seems like you can’t access the post from your dashboard so you have to be on my blog to see it *sighs* good job tumblr, like always.

star-crossed by realfakedoors (or anything they write, you’ll be seeing a lot of that here)

They said, once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a peaceful and prosperous kingdom, rich in romance and tradition. They said the Prince would host a ball, and choose his spouse, and they would live happily ever after.Well, they lied.

–

Keith is a Prince, and Lance lives with his shitty extended family. Neither of them are very happy, and when they meet, they’re surprised to have so much in common. Strangers, to friends, and then, well…

Meanwhile, Hunk is a sweetheart, Pidge is an iconic asexual, Shiro is a supportive Knight Dad™, Allura isn’t here for anyone’s crap, and there’s some political shit going on that forces them all together.

okay so how do i say it? it might be fave kl fic atm. this is my dirty laundry, my on thin ice. i love eveeery thing about it. i literally drop anything im doing if i see it updated. Also the last chapter? got me Shook.

also i KNOW about that big E rating there but the smut is in only one chap and i think the author marked it so it’s totally complementary and doesn’t add anything to the story so don’t worry.

breakfast on the moon by DairyFarmer (also very very recommended author!!)

Future Prom King, student body president, and all around hottie Lance McClain is abducted from his home in Arizona in 1997.

He is found decades later in the clearance section of an Earth paraphernalia store by the Paladins of Voltron.

another one of my big faves atm. everyone is very attentive of lance which is *clenches fist and wipes tear* very good. also it screams future langst and i cant wait :) (im kind of a langst hoe sorry not sorry)

let’s play pretend and hope it comes true by fevered_dreams

The Kingdom of Altea was quickly heading towards ruin. At least, it had been until the Royal Family’s eldest daughter had been born as an alpha. The people had rejoiced at her birth, and there was hope yet for a new ruler and a future secured. Even the fact that the second Royal Child had been born a beta couldn’t dampen their spirits.

Except Lance was not an beta. He was just an omega, trying his best to keep the charade going with a set of spells, pills, and all the tinctures he could brew because being an omega was dangerous. Being an omega made him something to be had, a rusted tool of barter worth less than scraps in return, and Altea couldn’t afford to let him go.

But, if Lance’s luck would have it, Prince Keith of the Blade wouldn’t mind being lied to too much.

okay okay in my defence, this one STILL doesn’t have smut. only kinda steamy make-out sessions. also don’t let the a/b/o scare you, there is talk about the dynamics but not so much in the sexual way, u’kno?

anything by BleuSarcelle, but if i have to chose one, let’s go with Of Pink Freckles and Green Moles

Lance now can see the boy’s face and he can only stare at the pretty color in the boy’s eyes before he’s suddenly being squished by two hands.

“Papa!” the boy shouts happily back at the adult that makes his way other them hurriedly. The boy hardly notices, still too fixed on squeezing Lance’s cheeks for a second longer before he giggles. “Papa, ugly!”

“Keith, no! Oh my god -”

“Ugly,” the boy repeats obliviously, patting Lance’s cheeks with a proud gleam in his eyes. “Ooh-gly!”

Lance doesn’t know what that word means but for some reason, it makes him cry harder.

[Or the one where Keith and Lance meet when they are two and three years old respectively and spend their entire childhood going through charity contests. Lance says they are rivals, Keith only hears ‘best friends’.]

super cute G kidfic.

Ground Control to Major Tom by yourfavoritetsundre

A year after Keith and Lance have a big falling out, Lance is…well, he’s not missing. He’s fine. He’s just not telling anyone where he is. Keith decides maybe the best way to apologize for being an absolute monster is to track him down.

Following Lance’s path of self-discovery, Keith starts to remember all the things about Lance he had buried years before. Because of the war, because of the Blade, because of Allura. And he starts to realize that maybe he’s to blame for more than he thought.

Meanwhile, Curtis just wants to plan his quiznacking wedding.

post-s8 fic

Written in Sand by MuseofWriting

Lance wakes up in a hospital on Earth to discover he has been missing for four months, with no memory of Voltron or the Galra. Drawn inexplicably to the desert where they found him, he discovers a hut full of research and notes that may provide the key to his missing memories. With secrets and conspiracies surrounding him, and the Garrison potentially hiding far more than he could ever have imagined, Lance grows to trust the notes in the desert - but he may not believe the person who claims he wrote them.

this one has been around for a while (a year to be precise) and i thinks its pretty aknowledged in the fandom but *shrugs*

until we get there by starlightment

Sometimes his mind is cruel. He’ll wake in the dead of night, drowning in his sweat, choking on his tears. He’ll clutch at old bedsheets until his knuckles fade to white. He’ll shiver in the darkness, and the light blue marks beneath his eyes will start to burn, and his lungs will heave, aching for a breath that just isn’t there.

And sometimes Keith comes to visit.

Those are the best days, Lance thinks.

Those are the days when it’s easiest to breathe.

—

Or: Lance loses himself a little bit, but Keith is there to help him find it again.

post-s8 fic. i think i dont even need to present they author since they’re better know for writing something blue (i heard wonders abt it but havent found the chance to read it yet). also i cant fucking wait for their new fic like im vibrating here on my seat bc i LOVEEEE the trope of jock keith / nerd/prep lance dont judge me

sunflower by xintong (uuh i think i dont have to introduce this author either lmao)

On the morning of their first summer back on Earth, Lance receives a gift of sunflowers. A confession, a rejection, and the passage of time, all leading to the one person who’s always been there for him.

another post-s8 fic because honestly i needed healing at that time okay. super soft and cute and uuughhhh i cant deal

Pretty Ob(li)vious by msmooseberry

Lance loves make-up and being pretty while wearing it. Unfortunately, even in the world where Earth becomes one of the main centres of intergalactic communication and home to many races, his hobbies are still largely frowned upon. He never wanted other cadets at the Galaxy Garrison to find out, especially not his half-Galra crush, but that is exactly what happens. Lance prepares for the hate or ridicule at best, but the reaction he gets is something else entirely. Who knew Galra viewed lilac sparkly lips as a betrothal symbol?

keith finding lance the most beautiful being ever? uuh yeah? gimme that shit

Chestnut And Onyx by MilkTeaMiku (great author too!)

If his eyes weren’t deceiving him, Keith looked a little flushed. He crossed his arms over his chest, wings all puffed up and ruffled like he was preening. “I didn’t know you were that flexible,” he said. And then he looked angry, and his wings puffed up even more, and he stormed away. -Lance thinks his wings aren’t all that pretty, but Keith has other ideas. If only Lance knew.

langst wing-fic. what could i ask more for?

you’re lucky that’s what i like by zenstrike

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

just. take the whole fucking thing. just take it

aaand these are the ones that appear on my feed that have been updated recently since most of them aren’t finished (sowwy). the bad thing about reading a lot of fics and having bad memory is that i already forgot half of my fave fics, probably, lmao.

#klance #fic rec #mod nayo #Anonymous

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