#alternate ulrich answer: you ARE the pet 👀👀👀

[will-you-pick-me]

mikeeeeey <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3, ugh I am so in love with him it is UNREAL, I will happily be the siren that tries to take him only to fail and end up angrily crawling around his deck cause he managed to catch me ALSO!!! Jessica in her full madam rouge outfit, that's so fucking HOT! We love a lady in uniform, id personally kill 2 have one of her corsets, comfy cozy pressure on the torso makes the autism brain happy Zach remembers other timelines? Oh, oh that is SO interesting, the things you can explore with an yn that acts wildly different depending on the timeline, the conflict they must face when dealing with such a thing......delicious, spicy, amazing!!!!! Now, what kind of pets would they all have? (that they WANT to have, not having for reputation points, looking at u Ulrich) (dont worry narrator my dearest husband to be ill flirt with you at your ticket booth and still bring you neat rocks i promise, multiple timelines wont stop me mwah mwah)

"... Husband...? You... You want me to be your husband...?"

[Shoving him in a closet] Narry darling please go have your crisis in private I can't write all that right now I'm not emotionally equipped---

Mikey is a big dog type of person, partial to shepherds, pits, and mutt mixes. Really any large dog that he finds abandoned on the street is subject to paperless adoption, and no he doesn't care if they have a collar on already or might be chipped. That's why it's paperless! (aka, stealing the dog, but shh-)

Ulrich doesn't have enough time to even pay attention to Y/N properly, so a pet is out of the question. But, if he did, then he'd probably have a snake, since they don't need to be fed as often as more traditional pets, and are perfectly content without the cuddles. And the butler would end up feeding it, more often than not, but at least the snake would have high-quality, live mice, and a very very large and elaborate tank to explore.

Zach is likely to have some kind of bird, perhaps a pair of doves. They're more hands-on and attentive to details, so they can manage the more specific needs of an avian friend - and also I just really like the idea of them taking their birds out to fly together with them.

Jessica strikes me as a rat type. They're awfully misunderstood as pets, nowhere near as dirty as people think they are, and they're actually very sociable if raised properly! She'd end up having 3 or 4, since they're a pack animal, but if you ever want a "chaos potato" dropped on your lap, she'll be happy to share her babies with you.

Jack would probably get jealous of other pets in the house, if I'm going to be honest. He's needy, and doesn't take being ignored or rejected very well - even if that rejection is only in his interpretation, and not reality. It might be different if you talk to him about it in detail first, but if it was sprung on him out of nowhere it is not a change he would handle well, thinking that he wasn't giving you enough love and attention, possibly even shutting down.

Narrator mumbles something about cats from the closet.

#pick me! arg #pick me! characters #mun talks #teasers #narrator speaks #alternate ulrich answer: you ARE the pet 👀👀👀