#and i cant take any of my classes seriously bc ive been online so long and now in irl vlasses its like . it dorsnt feel real to me

[italianeyes]

1st week of college done besties i can't do this anymore

#my textbooks r so confusing and so confusing im either gonna drop out or kill myself literally there is no in between #like why am i even doing this lol . i dknt even wanna do biology and i hate living downtown and idk how to get involved in clubs #and events and stuff and its so overwhelming just . whats the point of all this . there is no point i wanna drop out i literally #canNOT do this guys pls #my textbooks were so expesnive and for what like why the fuck is everything so fucking expensive i hate this society #i fucking hate capitalism why cant we just fucking learn for free or cheap like whats the point of any of this god im about to cry #i hate everything i wanna run away and just like never be seen again god i hate being alive in todays world im so fucking sick of it #also im having a hard time making friends and everyone just seems to have their own friend groups and is already comfortable and i just #feel so lonely like im so lonely i dont have anyone !! ok im crying now bye #like how the fuck do you even make friends like whenever i meet someone new idk if they actually want to be my friend bc they like #me or just because im forcing the ftiendship by talking to them like i dont know i have like 3 friends there that i like and ik they like m #e back but like i cant be close to them . like oh my god i just . i cant do this anymore besties i live on the 6th floor of my building #if u know what im getting at wink wink #jk the windows dont even open but seriously i cannot do this its so much like i hate being back in school like its just so pointless #and i cant take any of my classes seriously bc ive been online so long and now in irl vlasses its like . it dorsnt feel real to me #like i cant register what the teachers r saying like i am mentally unable to take the classes seriously bc im just not used to it and i can #not even pay attention anymote like everything fucking sucks but like im pretending everythings okay but its not #like how am i supposed to survive #god . im just . :( i need to hold someone so badly dude i just need physical love like i am insanely touch starved i just need a good hug #from someone who is not my family but like who will give it to me #i cant do this #dl

[winking]

multiples of 2

Who have you hurt the most? my dog bc i dont take care of him well like i used to....also mayb my friend belem

Who do you want out of your life the most?  out of my life...dam sad! and no one personally ... theres no one i rlly dislike that much ... i cut everyone out so its good now ... n my parents arent that bad

Who had the biggest negative impact on you? negative.... my ex fp shoutout to them they kno who they r 

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?  this is an interesting question? 

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?  hmm my little brother i wish i was more supportive! and my mom i feel like ive been a bad daughter

What’s your greatest fear? dying before im able to accomplish anything w my life, dying alone never knowing what love is!

What’s your biggest regret? i have many fnewkj ever telling i liked this guy in 6th grade hmm being so shy... becoming friends w certain people,...letting myself go through alot when i didnt need to

Describe your personal hell. njenfw sigh everyone who i consider my friend suddenly hates me, no one interacts w me , kathryn isnt online i have no wifi and no food i suddenly start missing my mom and thikning m worthless n ill just start crying 

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been? i dont remember im embarrassed all the time 

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been? when i was suicidal n honestly felt like it was never gonna get better

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt? when my friends were sad n i couldnt do anything abt it 

What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?

What’s the worst case scenario for you future? hmm next year i donnt get enough financial aid to keep going to my university i cant get a job i began to fail my classes n i end up dropping out of college all of my friends drop me my parents think im a failure i never find love n i end up killing myself 

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt? when i would start crying bc i felt like shit n i wanted to die ...so bad my stomach would hurt 

Describe a time you felt like a traitor. when i dreamt abt daniel 

Describe a time you felt inhuman. i killed a baby chick once when i was in like first grade

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? probably jus t like being a bad friend

What’s your relationship with your family like? we’re close n i love them alot theyre supportive n they gave me freedom so i should b grateful my dad does everything so i can have a better life than his but my mom is impatient n my dad is annoying theyre good parents bad individuals 

Talk about someone you’ve lost. lost...i dont wanna talk abt them i already do way too much when im not supposed to 

Talk about a desire you have that scares you. ............ wanting to b unhealthily skinny... n like... idk i dont wanna talk abt it also like nejkne waantng to have s*x w a stranger it scares me like wha t the heck i want love 

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of? njkewfw murdering smeone idk

Describe your worst heartbreak. my only heartbreak dknekjf in 6th grade i liked this guy long story short friends told him n like he didnt like me back  rlly wwas heartbroken like i cried in my bed i remember....n my cousin gave me advice i was too young to hav that many feelings n after that nothing is the same jfe

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?idk tiny ones that dont matter

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone? :(( aa few years ago my family went to a lake n my little brother was lke near the sand and i was too but farther away n me n my cousins were throwing rocking n i threw one in his direction i didnt think i would throw it that far n it hit him straight in the forehead n he started bleeding n now he has like a huge scar n i feel so bad everytime i see it :((((((( 

Have you ever self-harmed? sadly

Have you ever stolen something? yes

Have you ever been cheated on? no...

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone? dnkjewn no!!

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable? no thankfully i would die

#i didnt answer some bc didnt kno how im tired im gonna og to sleep ill wake up early n do hw #48hours