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lockawayknight · 3 years

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@of-forossa said: [sacrifice] Here they stand against the remains of the restless dead, against the rattle-bones and fierce flames of three skeleton lords on three skeleton thrones. One slain, two, before their servants rise to to join the fray with their battered blades and wicked wheels, and their melee turns to madness... a shout rings above the din of battle, a fist clenched suddenly around Creighton's chain mail and a sharp tug, before steel shrieks and blood splatters and Brom catches hold of the pinwheel skeleton that had been barreling towards the Mirran's flank. Whirling teeth trapped between plates and flesh, Brom coughs wetly before breaking its skull, nodding wearily at him before diving back into the fray.

from Nonverbal Memes [selectively accepting]

It all happens so fast. Truly, the Forossan’s reflexes are even more akin to lightning than the power that pulses within Creighton’s blade.

Honestly, Creighton is less aware of the sudden tug to safety and more aware of the warmth of fresh, undead blood that spatters his mask and clings to his eyelids. Terribly jarred (but so far unshaken), Creighton quickly works to regain his footing on the unstable, marrow-slicked ground as he shakes the blood from his face like a wet dog.

An active onslaught leaves no room for epiphanies of guilt or fear. In a well-trained blink, like an apathetic general of war, Creighton takes a split second pause to absorb as many quick details of the new situation that he can to properly weigh his next move. One Lord remains. Another wheelbound skeleton’s directing its focus towards him. The remaining two skeletal warriors are in the process of being crushed by his comrade. Brom’s been hurt, dreadfully so, and it’s all his missteps fault.

Fuck… should have just let me get killed, you fucking idiot… What the hell was Brom thinking, taking a direct hit like that? It’s a distracting enough thought that Creighton nearly misses the second skeleton’s charge, though a quick jab of his axe’s hook through the wheel’s spokes leaves it collapsed for an easy crushing — muscle memory. Unsure and now half-unstable, Creighton watches as the reckless Forossan continues to fight despite his injury, and his every muscle tenses with hatred. Not towards Brom — no, not at all — but at his own foolishness for allowing such an injury to occur on his watch. It should have been me to take that hit… What point is there in travelling with a knight if not to take cover behind their shield of flesh?

Have I really proven myself so useless so quick…?

The final Lord has descended from its throne, and Creighton is in no mood to let another injury befall his current companion. Not on his watch, not ever again, he refuses to lose anyone else. His already-overwhelming Mirran ferocity morphs into something near-primal when the Lord before him reels back its scythe. He’s divorced himself entirely from the definition of mercy. One solid swipe is all it takes to slice bone and armour clean in two, the Lord’s life essence perishing in a flash of flame and black soul energy as the ground rattles with reanimating foes. Simple pickings. Target practice. A jar full of ladybirds and moths.

As soon as they’ve sprung up, the remaining skeletal minions are crushed by the two warriors, ground to dust that disperses with their souls. But there’s no victory in their end — no, not yet. Not when Brom is still injured. Not when Creighton’s still got something to say. With the same adrenalised movement that he’d used to fell his foes, the knight’s off towards his companion in a sprint.

“What a bloody stupid stunt that was,” he bitches at Brom through panting breaths, his concern taking flight as a bird of prey. He’s never been good at the whole being-honest-with-your-feelings thing. All of his concern wears a strange veil of anger in this moment. The only shadow of its terrified face that can be clearly seen is in the form of the radiant lifegem the knight presses firmly into Brom’s palm. A simple thanks would be the correct response to the situation at hand, of course, but Creighton’s not very good at guessing games. Catching his breath, he simply continues to wheeze through frustratedly gritted teeth. “Could’ave spared yourself the scars if you would’ave jus’ let me take the hit, ya bastard. The hell did you ask for help for if you were jus’ gonna be a reckless idiot anyway, huh?”

Paranoia’s already kicking at his mind’s gate. Maybe Brom’s looking for a reason to keep Creighton indebted to him. Maybe he wants something to hold over the knight’s head. Maybe this was all some sort of trick.

Or… maybe he’s just a nice guy. Maybe Creighton’s only paranoid because of the light from recent events — of the shadows from recent betrayals.

Whatever it is, it’s making it hard for him to breathe.

Inhale, inhale, inhale…

When he finally catches his breath, he’s also caught up to his thoughts... more or less. He fishes another lifegem out from the hidden compartment in his belt where he keeps his healing wares, then holds it out for Brom in case he’s in need of another. “Don’t you dare scare me like that again,” he says, his voice’s dark colour now unmistakably, overwhelmingly full of worry. “You an’ your damned recklessness.” (As if he’s one to talk.) “Gonna get yourself killed again one day.” And for what? Over a knight who couldn’t even protect one man, couldn’t even hold the trust of another? Why would Brom bother to care at all? It just doesn’t make any sense…

One more inhale, then he’s all caught up to his thoughts, though the picture they paint isn’t pretty. Certainly not pretty enough for him to show any more of its canvass than a colourless blotch of care. Exhale. “You worry me, mate… Stay safe, for fuckssake, alright?”

#creighton [muse]#of-forossa #// cncndms god he is so worried and scared and confused why is he like this why must he angery #creighton on the inside: wHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU AAAAA NO YOURE HURT ITS MY FAULT IM SORRY PLEASE NO NO BE SAFE HEGH HMGMH IM SORRY #creighton on the outside: fuck you. fuck. shit. asshole. idiot stupidhead. fuck.#ncncdmkss he’s so gd worried and doesnt think he’s worth the protection cus lockaway days but all he can do abt it is ve angy #learn to have an emotion other than Yell and Be Sad stinkman. stupid.#mfmcmdms ty ty he worry for brom🥺 figured this was like. game events timeline. so he’s super volatile over pate shit rn hhhh

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incorrecteragonquotes · 5 years

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Eragon Movie Recap Part 6: Crash Course

There are lessons to be learned.

Welcome back to the Eragon Movie Recap! It’s been a while since our last update, and while we’ve all grown as people in the meantime, there’s one thing we can say for certain: movie Eragon sure hasn’t. If this is your first time reading, I recommend that you start with Part 1 and work your way through the tag. If this isn’t your first time reading, welcome back! Regardless, it’s good to have you on board.

We pick up where Part 5 left off. There was a fight. Eragon did one (1) magic, causing him to lose consciousness. Saphira dropped in to help. Brom’s attempts to manage the team are getting mixed results. The team’s a disaster, sure, but it might just be enough.

We begin with a quick montage of Arya’s struggles since her first encounter with Durza. It does not look like she’s had a fun time. By this point, the repetition of this information is starting to add up into its own flavour of unpleasant. And wouldn’t you know it! This was another one of Eragon’s dreams the whole time.

Eragon wakes up, more than a little sore from the big flashy move he pulled at the end of the fight in Daret. Seeing as he and Brom are sitting on top of a hill in the middle of the day, Eragon guesses that he’s missed a few key developments. He asks Brom for the details.

Brom says that Eragon performed some magic. And by instinct, no less! Apparently this is a rare thing, even among Dragon Riders. During this whole exchange, Brom exudes some peculiar emotions - I think he’s proud, and maybe even impressed! “Flawless work 10/10” was not book Brom’s reaction to the awful strategy of “make problem go boom”, which tends to leave loose ends.

So Brom’s reaction might be a little weird. So what? it’s not nearly as weird as Eragon’s. Eragon’s face is filled with some bizarre kind of smug fascination, as though he just discovered a real-life cheat code and can’t wait to start wreaking havoc.

When Eragon asks after Saphira, Brom continues his disconcerting infodump by complimenting the strength of Eragon’s bond with his dragon. Eragon gets all excited as he asks if his magic killed the Urgals that ambushed them the previous night. Brom confirms this in the same tone before immediately shifting gears, changing course to the metropolis of mixed messages.

Having finally disembarked from Eragon’s hype train, Brom launches into a quick overview of magic. He gives Eragon a warning. Explains the dangers. Begins a proper lesson. He explains magic’s connection to the ancient elven language, and gives a brief vocabulary lesson, resulting in a peculiar selection of words - primarily describing things that Eragon found in arm’s reach and felt compelled to ask about. Brom also vaguely references the concepts of true names and energy costs, which was a pleasant surprise, before immediately glossing over them in favour of introducing dragon-o-vision, which is treated as important for some reason.

Since the events in Daret wrecked their old plan, Brom has gone ahead and made some changes. Saphira arrives to help him explain: Eragon should cover much of the distance by flying. Eragon expresses some hesitation at this - after all, the one time he tried was a pretty solid failure - but Saphira’s admission that it was also her fault is all it takes to get him rearing to go.

With Eragon seated securely in the shiny new saddle (they do mention that Brom acquired it, which it’s good to know they thought about), Saphira approaches the edge of a nearby cliff. Eragon manages to get in a cocky one-liner before seeing the distance between the clifftop and the ground far, far below. He screams as Saphira jumps off. But after a few seconds of not dying, Eragon gets a handle on things and starts to enjoy the flight. He has to lean to help Saphira steer, and while airborne shenanigans do ensue, they are much less extreme than the ones that happened during the flight over Carvahall. All the while, Brom follows the pair on horseback, laughing. He shouts advice at them as they fly by.

Saphira tries showing off, and Eragon repeatedly comes close to falling. While discussing various Dragon Features, Saphira tells Eragon that, apparently, Real Dragon Riders™ can “fight from everywhere, even from the tail”. How is this helpful? We don’t get to know. Eragon tries to give tail riding a go, but concludes that he isn’t ready. Rare wisdom from him. Interestingly, the tail riding may have been foreshadowed by some of the shenaniganry during the flight above Carvahall, though this might be giving the writers too much credit.

Eragon instead settles for activating dragon-o-vision, as described by Brom. The movie communicates its activation partly by showing the world through a dragon-o-vision lens, and partly by showing Eragon with weird - and arguably unsettling - visual effects on his eyes. Eragon thinks it’s cool, and Saphira one-ups the experience by activating the zoom-and-enhance feature.

Looking around, Eragon and Saphira spot Brom through the trees, conveniently highlighted in red. Also highlighted in red are the Ra’zac, which are quickly closing in on him. For me, this raises a few questions. Why are the Ra’zac highlighted in Saphira’s vision? If they were tracked automatically, why has she not noticed them before? If tracking is automatic in general, why are these three figures the only things highlighted at all? If tracking is manual, how did she start highlighting them if she didn’t know they were there? If she retained tracking from a previous encounter, then she should have already seen them. Maybe they were indirectly highlighted by Brom, who was already being tracked. Or maybe the much-lauded dragon-o-vision isn’t so reliable. The exact workings of this bizarre spy display are not terrifically important, but it bothers me that any in-universe explanation for this weird convenience is left unclear. Then again, maybe the in-universe explanation is “because dragons”.

On the ground, the Ra’zac abandon the element of surprise in favour of doing a spooky parkour demo. Maybe they’re trying to intimidate Brom? Intimidated or otherwise, Brom sees them and immediately recognizes the situation for what it is: an ambush. He commands Eragon to keep out of the conflict, but Eragon and Saphira are already on their way, and they won’t be persuaded to stop.

As Eragon and Saphira descend into the forest, the Ra’zac jump out to attack, catching them off-guard. I don’t know how the Ra’zac managed this, seeing as they should still have been tracked by Saphira’s dragon-o-vision. As for Saphira herself, she meets her most threatening adversary yet: trees. Not even the really solid old ones, just… average trees.

Eragon, meanwhile, is facing his own adversary. One of the Ra’zac has him pinned to the ground, but it proves to be no match for our new master of magic. Eragon summons a tree branch to do his bidding (using a word he learned less than five minutes ago) and the Ra’zac gets absolutely wrecked. By a tree. Eragon’s attacker is dead now, because of a tree. I think we may have discovered the most dangerous entities in this entire story!

With only one Ra’zac left, Eragon moves to check on Saphira. She’s in a bit of a tough spot on the forest floor, but she’s regained some perception and gives Eragon enough warning to evade a sudden attack from the final Ra’zac. But just as their fight is about to begin, a newcomer enters the scene. It’s Brom! Using that weirdly-coloured sword he brought from his house in Carvahall, he shows off some impressive sword skills. After a brief scuffle, Brom stands triumphant over the defeated Ra’zac, watching his opponent disintegrate into a torrent of bugs at his feet.

With the conflict over, Eragon stares at Brom, seeing him in a new light. Some gears are turning in his head, but he doesn’t say anything as Brom’s sword gleams in the sunlight.

Before we move on, let’s take a moment to notice that the Ra’zac are dead now. This is not what happened in the book.Their presence later on in the books is key to the story. But they’re both dead now, so they can’t be there. I suppose they could be replaced - Durza summoned them out of thin air, after all, or maybe it was dead leaves, or maybe it was a massive swarm of insects. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that they’re replaceable. The Ra’zac were especially significant in the book because they, personally, caused so much grief through their own actions. Not Galby, not long-distance Durza. It was the Ra’zac. But now, they might as well have no will of their own. Even if Roran does return to Carvahall, even if he does get chased back out by a pair of Ra’zac, they will not be the creatures that killed his father. They will not be the ones that destroyed his farm. They will not be the ones who threatened his cousin for so long. Even if that specific pair is brought back, that ship has sailed. If re-summoning does bring back the same creatures, then their defeat has no meaning. They are no longer vanquishable foes. But regardless of what the future holds, this scene reduces the Ra’zac to generic, faceless monsters. Any chance they had at being actual characters - at least in the story this movie is telling - is long gone.

Some time passes, and Brom and Eragon tend to Saphira’s wounds. Those trees got her good! Brom is thoroughly displeased with Eragon and Saphira’s disregard for personal safety. Saphira’s attempt to play it cool only sets him off further, but Eragon takes the opportunity to throw Brom’s own philosophy back at him: “better to ask forgiveness than permission”. Would you look at that! It did come back!

When the first aid ends, Eragon corners Brom to pursue a suspicion that I assume is what he was thinking about after Brom’s sword fight. Quoting their previously-established no-lie policy, Eragon slices one of Brom’s hand-wrap fingerless-glove things. This reveals his palm, and wouldn’t you know it! Brom was a Dragon Rider the whole time!

Strangely, the mark on Brom’s palm is the same shape as Eragon’s, even though Eragon’s is shaped like the stylized “e” from the movie’s title. The movie is named after him, so this almost makes sense for his mark, but not so much for Brom’s. Sensible or otherwise, I digress. Realizing that the jig is up, Brom sets into a weird sort of sentimental mood, and clarifies that his riderhood is a thing of the past. When asked, Brom informs the party, without ceremony, that his dragon is long dead. He launches into a story about the man who killed her - a Rider named Morzan.

Brom describes the details - the weirdly-coloured sword he wielded earlier is the very blade that killed his dragon years before. Its name is Zar’roc, and it belonged to Morzan. After his dragon’s death, Brom tracked Morzan down, killed him with his own blade, and watched as Morzan’s dragon perished with him. No more Rider, no more Dragon. That’s a rule now, remember? Once his work was done, Brom moved to Carvahall and kept his head down. Interestingly, I think that’s the first time this movie has referred to Carvahall by name. It’s possible that I missed an earlier use of the name, but in case I didn’t, I would like to point out that we are more than halfway through this movie’s runtime.

This story is told entirely through Brom’s words. Sure, he makes some gestures for illustration, and sure, there’s a bit of background music, but I don’t think that’s the best this film could have done with this tale’s delivery. This would have been a prime opportunity for a flashback montage similar to the one in the prologue. But even if we keep the visuals as they are, adding a soundscape to illustrate the events Brom describes would add so much to the scene. I think it would have been really neat, and would draw the viewer in, keeping them on their toes. But even without that, I have to respect Jeremy Irons’s delivery of the text. As always, his storytelling carries the scene. At this point, maybe scene is the wrong word - we could just call it an infodump. Either way, good job, dude!

Through this whole movie, the discussion of the relationship and power dynamic between Dragons and their Riders has been a little strange. The way people talk about Dragons, it’s easy to think that they are prioritized over their Riders. But during Brom’s story, he mentions how his Dragon sacrificed her life to save his, and everyone seems to agree with Saphira’s remark of “better we than our Riders”. And I suppose that’s true in this movie, since the Rider’s death causes the Dragon to die anyway. But I can’t help but wonder if they would still see things that way if the Dragon/Rider mutual death pact didn’t exist.

Brom tells Eragon and Saphira that he always felt deep shame for killing Morzan’s dragon - the last one, not counting Galby’s - and ending an era. This suggests that he believes that an era that only has evil Dragon/Rider teams is preferable over an era with no Dragon/Rider teams at all, which doesn’t seem quite right. But now we learn why Brom has chosen to be so tolerant of Eragon’s poor decisions: since Eragon and Saphira are here, there’s a new Dragon/Rider team on the scene! The dark times are over - Brom can finally let go of his guilt.

That’s it for Part 6! This part covered about 10 minutes of screentime. We got some peculiar developments in the story this time. Several almost-deaths. Even so, it felt a little light on eventfulness. But Part 7 does not have that problem at all. I’m looking forward to it, and I hope you are too! Thank you all for reading, and I would like to apologize for the unplanned hiatus. Real life - you know how it is.

Remember to tune in next week when we visit such questions as “what are the exact specifications of dragon-o-vision?”, “where did all the Ra’zac’s bugs go?”, and “will the trees be the real winners of this war?”. See you then!

#eragon #inheritance cycle #eragon movie #let's face it: trees are overpowered #eragon movie recap #eragon shadeslayer #saphira #brom #ra'zac #arya drottningu #long post #sorry mobile users #mod zar'roc

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365footballorg-blog · 6 years

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Thursday night football & FA Cup weekend - Lawro's predictions v Noreen Khan

Tottenham and Manchester United meet at Wembley on Saturday with a place in the FA Cup final at stake.

You can watch the game live on BBC One and the BBC Sport website at 17:15 BST, but who will win?

BBC football expert Mark Lawrenson is going for United but thinks it will be tight, explaining: “It has got to be decided on the day but it would not surprise me if this game went the distance and is settled on penalties.”

His guest this week – BBC Asian Network presenter, lifelong Liverpool fan and part-time stand-up comedian Noreen Khan – also thinks United will triumph.

“I never want United to win but I think they will this time,” she explained. “Spurs got the better of them in January, and United will want their revenge.”

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Khan, who has had a customised Liverpool sari made, is also predicting the scores for the weekend’s Premier League games – including her beloved Reds.

She explained: “I was going to host the Asian football awards in 2013 at Wembley so I thought why don’t I go for something really different.

“I got together with a designer and we created this pretty amazing Liverpool FC sari with the Liver bird on it and ‘You’ll never walk alone’ imprinted on it.

“I didn’t realise it at the time but it was actually the world’s first football sari, so that is my claim to fame.”

Khan’s says her Liverpool heroes are Steven Gerrard – “because of Istanbul” – John Barnes, Luis Suarez and Mohamed Salah.

“I got into supporting them because of my family, I am the youngest out of all my siblings and, growing up, they supported Liverpool so it was just natural really to become a fan.

“I hope Salah gets the Golden Boot this year, because he deserves it.

“He has been an amazing signing – I don’t think anyone expected him to do as well as he has.

“Reds boss Jurgen Klopp has got a lot to do with it but Salah is just a raw talent and such a gifted player. He is a goalscoring machine and he makes it look so effortless as well.”

FA Cup semi-final predictions Result Lawro Noreen SATURDAY Man Utd v Tottenham x-x 1-1* 2-1 SUNDAY Chelsea v Southampton x-x 2-0 3-1

* Man Utd to win AET and pens

Premier League predictions – week 35 Result Lawro Noreen THURSDAY Burnley v Chelsea x-x 1-1 1-1* Leicester v Southampton x-x 2-0 1-0 SATURDAY West Brom v Liverpool x-x 1-1 0-3 Watford v Crystal Palace x-x 1-2 1-0 SUNDAY Arsenal v West Ham x-x 2-0 3-1 Stoke v Burnley x-x 1-1 1-1 Man City v Swansea x-x 3-0 3-0 MONDAY Everton v Newcastle x-x 2-1 2-2

*Game rearranged from week 31 – prediction made by comedian John Bishop

A correct result (picking a win, draw or defeat) is worth 10 points. The exact score earns 40 points.

LAWRO’S PREDICTIONS

All kick-offs 15:00 BST unless otherwise stated.

THURSDAY

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Burnley v Chelsea (19:45 BST)

Burnley are on a fantastic run of five straight wins and they are playing with a swagger that you get when you are a team in the top seven and on a roll.

That sort of form breeds fantastic confidence and their players are clearly in form too. Everything is great from their point of view and Clarets boss Sean Dyche deserves to be in the running for the manager of the season award, even if I don’t think he will get it.

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One of the interesting things about the way Dyche has done it is that he has not got many foreign players.

Generally, Burnley are a Great Britain and Ireland team and I am sure other clubs must look at the success they have had with that and wonder if it is a template they might try to follow too.

The Clarets have already beaten Chelsea this season[1] but I can see their winning run ending here, though, even if Chelsea are not the team they were last season.

Antonio Conte’s side did not perform for a long time against Southampton but when they do turn it on they are a very good side and very hard to stop.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1

John Bishop’s prediction: 1-1 (game rearranged from FA Cup quarter-final weekend when Bishop was guest)

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Leicester v Southampton (19:45 BST)

Is this game a priority for Southampton over the FA Cup? Yes.

I would expect Saints boss Mark Hughes to pick his strongest possible team and worry about Sunday’s FA Cup semi-final afterwards.

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I am not sure it will make too much difference, though. Leicester have had a bit of a wobble but I just look at Southampton and wonder how they are going to stop Jamie Vardy?

On the evidence of the past few games, I don’t think it will happen – which is why I am going for a Foxes win.

Lawro’s prediction: 2-0

Noreen’s prediction: 1-0

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West Brom v Liverpool (Premier League, 12:30 BST)

I don’t think anyone saw West Brom’s win over Manchester United coming, but it means caretaker manager Darren Moore has taken four points from his two games in charge.

Is there such a thing as player power? Absolutely. And it would appear that some of the Baggies players were not playing for former manager Alan Pardew.

Whatever the truth is behind that situation, it does not reflect well on the Baggies players that they waited so long before putting in a couple of big performances.

It seriously worries me and, if I were a Baggies fan, I would be asking where this improvement has come from and why we have not seen it before.

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Liverpool play Roma in the first leg of their Champions League semi-final on Tuesday but I don’t think Jurgen Klopp will make too many changes with that game in mind.

This is a much tougher match for the Reds than it might have been a few weeks ago, because I can imagine West Brom thinking they will have a real go at them – and they have got nothing to lose.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1

Noreen’s prediction: West Brom beat us at Anfield in the FA Cup and we only drew with them in the league earlier in the season which was another really disappointing result. I am hoping for a very different outcome this time now that we are on a real roll. 0-3

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Who knows what will happen in the next couple of weeks but just seeing Liverpool in the Champions League semi-finals is an amazing feeling.

After the progress we have made this season and the way we are playing, I hope we can kick on and rival Manchester City for the title next season – it would be great to finally win the league is what we really, really want.

The squad just seems to be so strong at the moment and I am a big Jurgen Klopp fan too.

Without getting too excited, I’m hoping that if we go all the way in the Champions League then that could be the boost that we need.

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Watford v Crystal Palace (Premier League)

Watford have only picked up one point from their past five league games and are not out of the woods completely yet at the bottom of the table.

I think the Hornets are going to be all right but they might have wait a bit a longer to reach the 40-point mark.

I like the way that Crystal Palace have a go at teams – they are one of the few sides to have tried that approach against Manchester City, and they would have beaten them if they had not missed a last-minute penalty.[2]

Palace are a good watch and like to take teams on, so I am going to go for an Eagles win here.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-2

Noreen’s prediction: 1-0

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Man Utd v Tottenham (FA Cup semi-final, 17:15 BST)

Tottenham are at ‘home’ because they have played at Wembley but there will be a very different feel to this game – there will be as many United fans there as Spurs supporters for starters.

United have played that many times at Wembley in the past few years – four times in the past two years – that it will not hold any surprises for them.

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It is a lot harder to predict what sort of performance we will see from Jose Mourinho’s side, however.

It was just nuts for them to lose at home to West Brom last weekend, after winning a crazy Manchester derby the week before that.

United followed that by beating Bournemouth comfortably on Wednesday, and that is kind of where they are at the moment – very up and down.

I don’t think this tie will be anything like United’s trip to Wembley in January, when they went a goal down after 11 seconds and lost 2-0.[3]

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I just don’t see it being a feast of football this time, and Mourinho will not want another open game. If Spurs score early again then of course that changes things, but he will keep things tight for as long as he can.

Both teams will be thinking if they get through this round they can win the competition – Southampton are battling relegation and Chelsea are not the side they were last season.

So this is the chance for both of them to win a trophy. Mourinho keeps telling us how many things he has won, and where, so we know how much it will mean to him if United do reach the final and go on to win it.

Spurs boss Mauricio Pochettino has always put the emphasis on his side’s league position as a gauge of their progress, and he is dead right to do that.

But along the way it is just nice to win a trophy. If he manages that, it will stop people saying ‘Tottenham? Good team, qualified for the Champions League, but they still haven’t won anything under Pochettino.”

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1 AET – Man Utd to win on penalties.

Noreen’s prediction: 2-1

SUNDAY

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Arsenal v West Ham (Premier League, 13:30 BST)

Getting Andy Carroll fit is a big bonus for West Ham because he can come on for the last few minutes and cause mayhem, like he did in their draw with Stoke.

But it is a big ask for them to go to Emirates Stadium and get anything there – on home form alone, Arsenal are third in the table, just two points behind Manchester City.

The Gunners have been making lots of changes for their league games in between Europa League ties but they do not play the first leg of their semi-final against Atletico Madrid until Thursday, so I would expect Arsene Wenger to field a strong team.

Lawro’s prediction: 2-0

Noreen’s prediction: 3-1

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Stoke City v Burnley (Premier League, 13:30 BST)

Burnley are probably not the team you want to be playing when you are desperate for points.

Potters boss Paul Lambert said at the start of the week that his side need three more wins to stay up and he must have thought he had got one of them on Monday, until West Ham’s late equaliser.

Now is the time when Lambert might be saying to his players that it is fine to take a few chances, because they need to press on.

But I don’t see who is going to do that for Stoke when I look at their team. They are very short in attack and there is a reason why they have only scored 31 league goals so far in 34 matches.

Lawro’s prediction: 1-1

Noreen’s prediction: 1-1

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Chelsea v Southampton (FA Cup semi-final, 15:00 BST)

Mark Hughes has changed Southampton since taking charge a month ago in that they have suddenly got goals in their team.

The problem is that he has also conceded three goals in each of his three league games, including against Chelsea last weekend.

That game, and the way Saints lost it after going 2-0 up,[4] was a big blow for them.

Of course, you could argue that things would have been very different if Marcos Alonso had been sent off early in the game for his tackle on Shane Long – I think Saints would have held out against 10 men.

If they keep scoring goals they will have a chance in their remaining league matches but if they continue to be so porous at the back then they are in big trouble.

Alonso is suspended for this game after receiving a retrospective ban[5] but I would still fancy the Blues to progress.

Lawro’s prediction: 2-0

Noreen’s prediction: Chelsea sometimes leak a few goals but think they will win this one, and possibly quite comfortably. 3-1

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Man City v Swansea (Premier League, 16:30 BST)

The bunting will be out at Etihad Stadium after they sealed their title triumph last weekend, for the fans at least.

But you know what Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola is like – he will not let any of his players take the foot off the gas, and he will have them revved up.

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I have been fortunate enough to have been in this position lots of times with Liverpool, when we had won the league with lots of games to spare and we were not quite at it for the rest of the season.

I don’t think that will be the case with Manchester City, though, because their manager is so driven.

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Swansea will come and try to stop them, but I think Pep will want Manchester City to put on a show.

The good news for Swansea is that they have a bit of a cushion between themselves and the bottom three, and also that their final two games are at home to Southampton and Stoke – so their survival is still very much in their own hands.

Lawro’s prediction: 3-0

Noreen’s prediction: Manchester City have been scoring a lot of goals all season and I can see them getting a few more on Sunday. 3-0

MONDAY

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Everton v Newcastle (Premier League, 20:00 BST)

There is a lot of speculation about Sam Allardyce’s future at Goodison Park – but where is the game going to if all clubs start doing what Everton have done this week, with their fans survey about his performance?[6]

It is obvious that a lot of Everton fans are not fans of Allardyce, which is fine – that is their opinion. But you know what? He has not done a bad job, and he has done the job he was brought in to do.

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I suppose when you sign an 18-month deal like he did, you are not expecting to be at a club for a long time anyway – in theory he only has one more season left.

Whatever happens next at Everton, I do not understand asking the fans. I don’t get that at all – who have they picked to ask, for starters?

Are they all Everton season ticket holders? And can Liverpool fans have a vote? Rate the Everton manager out of 10? Most Liverpool fans would probably give him 11.

Seriously, though, whatever you think about Allardyce’s tactics, when he took the job in November, the Toffees were in danger of being relegated. They were a complete mess.

Allardyce’s remit was to keep them in the Premier League, not to recreate the glory days of Alan Ball, Howard Kendall and Colin Harvey and the Everton ‘School of Science’.[7]

Actually, if you think about it, Allardyce’s approach is a school of science – just maybe not the one that the fans wanted.

But, if Everton do decide they want a change, it would not surprise me to find him at somewhere like West Brom next season.

He is not going to be short of offers because his record speaks for itself so, if he leaves, then it will not be the end of the world for him.

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When we are talking about managers who have done a good job, then Rafael Benitez is definitely one of them. Newcastle’s run of four straight wins has taken them to safety.

There is always one team that completely bombs at this stage of the season – arguably Stoke this time – and another who pulls results out of the fire and leaves you asking ‘whoa, where did that come from?’.

Newcastle have done brilliantly but if the results of the Everton fans’ survey are in, then I bet the Toffees go and win.

Lawro’s prediction: 2-1

Noreen’s prediction: These two are pretty close in the table so I am going to go for a draw. 2-2

Lawro was speaking to BBC Sport’s Chris Bevan.

How did Lawro do in the sixth round?

On FA Cup sixth-round weekend, Lawro got three correct results, with two perfect scores, from the four ties for a total of 90 points and a success rate of 75%.

He was up against comedian John Bishop who got three correct results, with one perfect score, for a total of 60 points and a success rate of 75%.

FA Cup leaderboard after round six Correct result (Perfect scores) Success rate John Bishop 3/4 (1) 75% Lawro 39/60 (10) 65% Vuj 7/16 (2) 44% Guz Khan 12/32 (2) 38% Poet 6/16 (0) 38% Tekkerz Kid 3/8 (0) 38%

From the last round of Premier League games, Lawro got four correct results, including two perfect scores, from 10 matches for a total of 100 points.

He beat comedian Elis James, who got three correct results, including one perfect score, for a total of 30 points.[8]

In this week’s rearranged games, Lawro wrongly predicted Tottenham would beat Brighton 2-1 on Tuesday (the game ended 1-1) but correctly thought Manchester United would beat Bournemouth 2-0 on Wednesday.

Similarly, Khan thought Spurs would win 3-1 and United would win 2-0.

Those points will be added on to their total scores next week.

Total scores after week 34 Lawro 3,030 Guests 2,500

Lawro v Guests P34 W20 D3 L11

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+/- DENOTE POSITION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAWRO’S TABLE AND ACTUAL POSITION POS TEAM P W D L PTS +/- 1 Man Utd 34 27 6 1 87 +1 2 Tottenham 34 26 7 1 85 +2 3 Man City 33 26 6 1 84 -2 4 Liverpool 34 21 13 0 76 -1 5 Chelsea 34 21 8 5 71 0 6 Arsenal 33 16 12 5 60 0 7 Leicester 34 15 6 13 51 +1 8 West Ham 33 9 16 8 43 +6 9 Burnley 34 10 11 13 41 -2 10 Southampton 34 11 8 15 41 +8 11 Bournemouth 34 10 10 14 40 0 12 West Brom 34 11 6 17 39 +8 13 Stoke 34 7 12 15 33 +6 14 Crystal Palace 34 8 7 19 31 +2 15 Everton 34 7 10 17 31 -6 16 Newcastle 33 6 10 17 28 -6 17 Brighton 34 4 13 17 25 -4 18 Swansea 33 5 5 23 20 -1 19 Watford 34 4 7 23 19 -7 20 Huddersfield 34 1 12 21 15 -5

GUEST LEADERBOARD

SCORE GUEST LEADERBOARD 160 Justin Hawkins, Chris Shiflett 130 James Anderson*, Joe Johnson* 120 Russel Leetch*, Will Poulter, Moeen Ali 110 Aron Baynes* 100 Cesaro & Seamus, Wretch 32 90 Arni and Justin from The Vaccines, Pete Wentz 89 Lawro (average after 34 weeks) 80 John Cena, Darren Campbell 70 John Bishop** Brendan Foster*, Mark Strong 60 Jimmy from Django Django, Will Ferrell, Nish Kumar, Non Stanford, Rick Witter 50 Steve Cram, Michael Dapaah, Russell Howard, Channing Tatum, Joe Root, Margot Robbie and Allison Janney, Dario Saric, Osi Umenyiora and Jason Bell, 40 Craig David, Ed Lay 30 Elis James, Rhys James, Felix White 20 Charlie Cooper, Richard Osman, Emmanuel Sanders and Josh Norman

* Shows weeks where Lawro had more than one guest, and only the highest score contributed to the guest total.

** Shows weeks where guest total does not include all rearranged games.

Lawro’s best score: 170 points (week 30 v Arni and Justin from The Vaccines)

Lawro’s worst score: 40 points (week four v Umenyiora and Bell, week five v Non Stanford, week 21 v Darren Campbell and week 23 v Saric and Baynes)

References

^ have already beaten Chelsea this season (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ if they had not missed a last-minute penalty. (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ lost 2-0. (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ the way Saints lost it after going 2-0 up, (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ after receiving a retrospective ban (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ with their fans survey about his performance? (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ the Everton ‘School of Science’. (www.evertonfc.com)

^ comedian Elis James, (www.bbc.co.uk)

BBC Sport – Football

Thursday night football & FA Cup weekend – Lawro's predictions v Noreen Khan was originally published on 365 Football

#football #Khan #Lawro&039s #night #Noreen #predictions #Thursday #weekend

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