#and in that thread of thought of halsin's relationship with his body

[ride-a-dromedary]

Alright, the jack in the box is wound, and the coherence is coming to me. Halsin and the dryad, I was talking about his response if the PC indicates that he is most comfortable after a supper large enough to induce hibernation:

"Mindless gorging...? No, that is not right. I did not realize you thought that of me."

And why this keeps catching in my mind is not necessarily what he says, but how he says it (so I am commending Dave Jones' voice acting here). The rest of Halsin's responses to incorrect answers are generally even toned and corrective; firm, usually, but not inherently overly emotional. Much like a teacher correcting a student. But this one...he sounds genuinely surprised and taken aback that the PC would even suggest that. The "no, that is not right" is even firmer on its heels. And the last part...the last part, his voice is smaller. Less forward. I would not go so far as to suggest hurt, but it is approaching that territory. It comes so fast after his firm no, that it almost sounds like something that slipped by accident. Like something that was meant to be muttered under the breath, but it slipped from him because the surprise was so organic.

Alone, it doesn't mean too much. It's a slight offense to an obviously nonfactual statement. And that's likely all it is. I'm about to read too deep into this, I am aware.

But combined with the other things spread throughout Halsin's dialogue, particularly the implication that he is otherwise used to people making commentary on his physical appearance or the physicality of his being, it suggests an extra layer of hurt. An extra layer of: "I did not expect this from you, of all people." Not quite a betrayal, but approaching one.

What makes it particularly catching, is that one of the things you are able to wrench (and I say wrench because getting Halsin to share mundane personal details about himself is a production - and it makes *sense* it's a production if a. We keep in mind that Halsin himself doesn't seem all too sure who he is beyond his preoccupation - which elves are prone to but Halsin also just has...a lot on his plate that have evidently stunted his identity formation - to the point where he even claims he was forgetting who he was, and b. If he is used to questions concerning himself and his experience leading into questions regarding his sex life or his physical activities, see: the companion banter with Wyll and Karlach, he likely...doesn't really keep ready details about himself personally on tap anymore. He's so unused to people being interested in Halsin, that he's taken aback when they are. It becomes the "In the moment, I forget everything and anything I like to do for fun" mentality - no one really cares about what I like to do anyway - if you will. He even goes so far as to joking that the PC may be a doppelganger because *why else would they want to know these things*) out of Halsin when you ask him about himself is that he has a sweet tooth. That he likes honey, and people find that amusing. He chuckles, but his face falls, evidently prepping for the PC to make a similar comment (and he attempts to beat you to the joke about that, though a PC can still call that "on the nose" to which he responds that there is little point in denying oneself if it doesn't hurt anybody - indulging isn't a bad thing). If the PC instead chooses that he should pay little attention to what others think, he gives that infamous: "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt" line. Which implies - regardless of whether he verbalizes it or not - things in this thread hurt his feelings. Comments or assumptions about his body and his person hurt his feelings. He won't say it, but they do. The PC is likely aware of this by this point in the relationship.

Halsin does not otherwise bring up eating or food to any level of significance or directness - the sweet tooth comment was the only time (you could assume outside of canon interactions that they've had other conversations between them and that perhaps this was brought up, but we are going to base this solely in what Halsin reveals in canon). He brings up hibernation, but specifically the sleeping part of it. Nothing else.

So, the PC then potentially goes ahead and makes an assumption of him during the dryad. How'd they arrive at this conclusion, as it obviously surprises Halsin that they did? It reads, very much, that the PC is making this assumption based on the comment about his sweet tooth, his comment on indulgence, and his physicality (note: the ha ha bear and hibernation thing almost seems like an afterthought - Halsin latches *very* quickly onto the "mindless gorging" part). All things that he has shown very evident discomfort (which is ironic because the question is when he feels most comfortable) or hesitance towards (he claims there is nothing wrong with indulgence, but never seems to indulge himself beyond sex, if that. Gee, what does that remind you of?)

Halsin entrusted this individual with this information, as frivolous as it was, potentially revealed that it hurts his feelings when people make assumptions of him, and this individual then went used that information and made the assuming connection: "So, this is a big man. He said he liked sugar, so he must like to eat and indulge. It must be his favourite thing to do because look at him." I am going to essentially ignore everything else I could have possibly heard, and make a bear hibernation joke that has nothing to do with sleeping being a comfort, but emphasize the eating part.

So, yeah, he's a little taken aback - incredulous, you might say. A little hurt. Resigned, almost. Because at that point, you can make a very logical assumption that Halsin came to a very quick snap realization that perhaps this person was not so different from the others as he thought. That it always eventually comes back to that. What else was he expecting? When has it ever been any different for him?

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #does this make sense i don't think it does but it's like...jumping from a - z based on assumption and you know what they say about that #note: this isn't actually this deep i am just making it this deep - also yes i'm aware it probably means none of this #i have a degree in bullshit #but this is also why halsin should have had a legitimate bear like build of a body #i understand why he didn't - but this is *verbatim* what fat individuals receive as assumptions on their person #*all the time* that oh you must overindulge yourself you must eat a lot you must you MUST #and in that thread of thought of halsin's relationship with his body #there's also something to say when halsin says 'my ears are all yours...any part of me is yours should you wish it' #because he *begins* by offering his sympathy and understanding...but follows it up with 'but if i am more valuable to you in this way #then that's fine too - i'm used to that' #almost parallels (inadvertently) astarion's: #'i think i'll enjoy having halsin around not for his wit or wisdom he'll just make an excellent shield if we're attacked' #he's self aware #and in regards to how halsin sees his body as a separate entity - a. body dysmorphia and b. i don't think he truly does #halsin claims he sees his body as a vessel to serve nature and wrinkles his nose at vanity - but i feel there is enough old hurt in him #that this can never be true of him even is he so desperately wishes it was #does he have a level of confidence in himself? obviously he does - but it is marred - it's an exchange #there's always going to be that little voice in the back

[petit-etoile]

🪡how about a cute fic where astarion fixes up one of Tavs shirts and they realise they like each other or something heheee

here  is  my  hand  that  will  not  harm  you

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount:  1,110 content warnings:  none other tags:  canon compliant, introspection, character study, developing relationship, love confessions, getting together, gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils,@8-opossums, @worryknotdear, @abirdaboxandachippedcup, @ghosts-and-ink, @b4um3pfl4um3, @gunslingerorchid, @hypopxia be added to the taglist here

summary:  Astarion repairs your clothes, and you can no longer keep a secret.

There is something Astarion is not telling you. You can tell in the way he slouches in his chair, his hands busy with the work he took upon himself, that there is something troubling him. Learning what Cazador’s scarring says has put a damper on his mood and everyone else’s, and now you’re all caught between procrastination and pushing on to the Moonrise Towers.

The Orthon fight took a lot out of you. Your armor took quite the beating, and afterwards with the rats… You’re glad to be staying at the Last Light Inn for one more evening. Everyone is resting before the fight tomorrow, and you’re relieved. You get one more night to sleep in a bed. The darkness of the Shadow-Curse is beginning to lift thanks to Halsin and Thaniel, and the shine of Dame Aylin’s excellence has caused Isobel to bask for hours on the balcony in self-imposed giddy isolation. It’s almost normal given the circumstances.

‘What do you think Gale is going to make for supper?’ you ask absentmindedly, turning the page of your raunchy smut novel.

Astarion hums in contemplation. You rest the novel you borrowed from him on your stomach and peer over at him. He insisted you take the bed after you arrived, and now he sits next to you biting his lip and cursing as he fusses over your chainmail. It’s quaint.

‘Hopefully just wine,’ he says with a snort. ‘We’ll need all the liquid bravery we can get.’

‘Do vampires get drunk?’

‘Certainly,’ he says. ‘A willing body drinks the wine, a willing vampire drinks the blood, and then they’re both willingly shit-faced.’

The thought of Astarion stumbling around drunk off your blood makes you laugh. It almost reminds you of how silly he was after devouring a bear, and you quietly begin manifesting that Astarion is right and Gale honors the tradition. You cozy down into the sheets and pat the book over your stomach as it growls.

‘Oh, fuck it!’ Astarion snaps suddenly.

He doesn’t fling your armor down as much as he seems determined to strangle it to death. There’s thread tangled around his fingers and his feet, and he’s pushing the needle back in his mouth as he fusses with a strap. He growls like an angry kitten and rubs at his brow in frustration.

‘What’s wrong?’ you ask nervously.

‘What’s wrong?’ he echoes, annoyed. ‘What’s wrong is that your armor is shit! To send you out there wearing it is basically wishing death upon you. It’s absurd how long you’ve worn this thing.’

You frown. It’s not exactly your favorite chest piece you’ve ever had, but you’ve worn it since the Underdark and haven’t found a suitable replacement. Then again, you hadn’t really asked Dammon when you arrived… You didn’t want to bother him as he was working on Karlach’s heart, and there was so much to do…

‘You can’t   —  You can’t go out there and fight everyone’s battles in armor held together by twigs and prayers,’ Astarion sniffs delicately. ‘I can repair it sparingly, of course, but… I wouldn’t feel good about it. It isn’t safe enough.’

‘What would you have me wear, then?’ you ask. ‘Perhaps there’s some additional armor somewhere in storage.’

‘This leather belt here is salvageable,’ he explains, showing you the damage from too many spells. ‘The chain mail will hold another fight, but…’

Something possesses you. You lean in, too close to his face, and watch as he runs his fingers over torn edges. He cares. About you. It takes you by surprise even though it shouldn’t. But Astarion doesn’t fuss this way over his own armor, just yours.

You look over his handiwork. You’ve seen it before in his clothes, his favorite sleep shirt, some of his socks, his gloves. He even repaired Karlach’s armor when she first joined. His hands are lithe and strong, and he works without too much thought like it’s second nature for him. Something about it is so bone-crushingly domestic that you can’t help but want to touch his hand. You cling to your book instead.

‘You’re good at this,’ you say.

‘Well, I’ve had quite a bit of experience,’ Astarion confesses. He smiles faintly at your praise. ‘Back at Cazador’s, I … I had a family I took care of. Sometimes they’d fight one another, and I’d fix little rips and tears. Learning to fix armor is a bit new, but none too difficult.’

‘Did you have many siblings?’

‘I had plenty,’ Astarion says. ‘I didn’t like them all. But I like you, so bring me all your clothes and I’ll fix them right up. I won’t even make you ask.’

You give in. You reach a single, curious finger towards his hand and slide it across the back of his knuckles. You take in the rise and fall of his hand, the smoothness of his skin, and the veins. He flexes his fingers beneath your hand and then, without saying a word, he turns his hand over so that he can hold yours. He muses over the connection and presses his fingertips to your pulse.

Gandrel, The Orthon, Raphael’s Deal. It goes without saying there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him. You want to tell him, but the thought of saying it made you nervous. You hold your tongue. But if there was to be a fight at the Moonrise Towers, you wanted him to know. It plagues you too much that you start to stretch, so much so that you’re afraid to speak lest you start rambling on and on about how beautiful his eyes are and how you can’t stop looking at him and how he takes your breath away.

There’s no one else you want to have to fight by your side, but it isn’t just that. There’s no one else you want.

Carefully, as though you are more fragile than you truly are, Astarion removes your hand from his to continue fussing over your armor. The feeling of his hand still lingers on your skin, and it makes your stomach ache.

‘I had better go looking, then,’ you say thickly, ‘for another chest piece to wear. ‘

‘No, don’t go yet,’ Astarion says softly. ‘I  —  There’s something I want to talk about with you.’

He doesn’t say anything else. You stare at one another, the armor forgotten between you, and like magic from the Weave, everything changes. When you lean forward, Astarion meets you halfway with the shyest kiss he has ever given you and the most honest eyes he’s ever allowed you to look upon. After tonight, nothing will be the same and you think you’re fine with that.

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x oc #from ，carcosa . #my fic #anonymous #* a thousand lives，and one

[ride-a-dromedary]

Ok so that Halsin & Astarion dialogue with the honey comment now has a whole ship animatic of them in my mind set to honeybee by steam powered giraffe

I don't know who you are anon, but how does it feel to have a brain that big? Like...wow okay.

The fluff is covered, with stuff like "You didn't have to offer you hand/cause since I've kissed it I am at your command/But you did", love that. Sweet and silly.

Then if you want something more in a bittersweet vein: "Hello Goodbye, Twas nice to know you/How I find myself without you/That I'll never know" or "Hello Goodbye, I'm rather crazy/And I never thought I was crazy/But what do I know?/Now you have to go" brings to mind....an angsty flash forward of Halsin finally reaching the end of his life (which could be a *very* long time - thousands of years - considering he's an elven druid, Timeless Body and all that, but not immortal), and the two of them have spent literally millennia drifting in and out of each other's atmospheres (as is common with elven long term relationships - growing together and independently, parted but never parted, all that), connecting and re-connecting over and over in a never ending, golden gossamer thread. Entire generations have grown and departed under their watch, they've seen and done countless things, learned countless things, been through countless things - positive, negative, difficult and easy and everything in between.

But all things end, as is, and perhaps by that time Astarion has found a way to stay in the sun (considering a partner of his is a sun child in all senses of the word except one) and the last thing they see together, at Halsin's request, is a sunset. And Astarion can hardly deny such a request; Halsin's always been a man of poignantly simple taste.

#actually don't look at me i'm sad now #Jemi gets asks #BG3 Musing #halstarion #death tw #or at least implication