#and in the first place i don't have the energy aleeady to get things done

[noxtivagus]

whwhajfjskskan

#ANOTHER CRISIS #this problem again #no like its fine ill do things at my own pace #but sometimes its rlly just so hard to start smth!!!!!!! #less than 1 month left till school starts again so #head in hands what do i do with my life #even tho im a mess rn i still get stuff done so thats nice at least #i've been learnigg by yonah's theme on the piano whenever i feel like it n that's been going well so far #i'll try to finally pick up a book again later #but my main problem rn is #i mean at the same time idrc but #i wna at least not just disappear of twitter but idk how to return #jut rip social anxiety #i've been at least somewhat using tumblr these days but all i've been doing is rambling n ranting n venting #but really i wna be more active on social media but #i'm seriously bad at being active. and i hate how it makes me anxious. and i'm bad at posting #T_T bcs at the same time i genuinely dont care ill just be myself #but taking all these steps are always so hard when there's a lot of things burdening me #and in the first place i don't have the energy aleeady to get things done #ill do it all ar my own pace but i sometimes just wish that it'll be easier and less painful #i need to be more efficient n i need it all to be better quality >>> #my traits n thoughts n actions n all awfully contradict each other in an oddly balanced way that just overwhelms n hurts me #AND THIS PAIN THIS LOOP... i feel like i have so many responsibilities n ffs these burdens overwhelm me smmmm #smth i struggle w so bad is the burden of these responsibilities and duties i feel i have. they weigh me down sm #n yk i try to do sm then idk i neglect myself n get burnout n worry too much n smth revitalizes my energy then repeat #like when i disappear or stop doing smth for a while it sux bcs im like OH I NEED TO CATCH UP ON THE TIME I LOST then boom that cycle ^^ #i need to stop wasting timeeeeee i need to get things done n make use of my potential #i'll never have the stars in the first place if i don't reach for them right? #fuck i rlly just have sm i want to do n it overwhelms me sm T_T im tired but ill be fine anxiety's just being especially mean to me rn wah