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serowotonin · 3 years

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˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO”

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again.

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology??

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

#sakusa x reader #hq #www.pink-ink.com/writing #/hcs

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pachimation · 3 years

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hiya, I really love your art, and how you make your latest stuff look really vintage and aged, it’s really super cool and I was wondering if you’d be willing to share your process for that?? thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day!!! :D

aww thanks so much! and of course i can share my process, no prob!! ^^

i’ll be using this piece as an example, and uh, for the context of it u might have to look on twitter lol. but whatever

it’ll be a bit long so everything is under the cut

(this is just based on my process, and i know its weird and csp specific.

feel free to pick and choose pieces from my process!)

and also the programs i used were procreate and csp and i have a mac. u could probably do this with other set ups, but this tutorial might not be super helpful near the end

i usually make my lineart in procreate and import it into csp as a .psd file

for this, in procreate, select the file you want to export and click PSD and then I airdrop it to my mac.

i think the only thing about the lineart i have tips on is to keep it toothy/gritty if that makes sense?

i use the 6B pencil in procreate with a bunch of tweaks to the pressure sensitivity and opacity/size change.

but anything with a good size jitter should do the job!

in csp i shade and color the piece.

picking out the colors is a whole other mess

feel free to ask about it but ill skip for now ;v;

flat colors

csp has a lot of nice halftone options!

group up ur lineart and everything thats black rn in a folder and above them set a clipping layer to add

fill it with a color lighter than black; the less pure blacks and white u have on a piece the better

feel free to go to town w the grunge or noise texture of ur choosing! the grittier the better bc during this step i try to get the feel of worn off ink. just make sure the linearts still visible, though. u went through all the trouble to make it after all! ^^

(i have specific brushes but again thats something else u can ask me about)

above all the layers, make a multiply layer and do something similar.

same advice as above

this is ur “paper” texture, tho, so try to keep it more even in tone so things don’t get too messy

(but if it works for u, feel free to do it! find what works is my advice!)

ok time for some super csp-specific steps (sorry to non-csp users)

the csp asset store/website(?) has a lot of nice textures and brushes available.

look through it if u haven't

it will make ur life so much easier

theres a really nice tileable watercolor texture set there

(this one specifically)

(it also had some really good paper texture bc whoever made this is a godsend)

i slap that over the color layer, set it to clipping, and mess with the blending modes

its usually a tossup between soft light, overlay, multiply, and the overlay texture effect tho

theres another optional step of using the overlay texture effect on a paper texture

i didn’t do it on this example sorry :’(

i think i used another watercolor texture set to soft light on this piece?

after that, if u want, i like setting a noise texture at a v low opacity over everything for extra jitter

(i use this one. u can just make it in csp and probably any other drawing software but im lazy lmao)

save it as a png/jpg/etc.

and ur done!

i do some extra stuff to the final image like scale everything down and add a bit of a 3D effect for a bit of extra kick

(but again thats a bit complex and specific so feel free to ask but ill keep it short

for your sanity’s sake)

(and once again, the final image! ta-da!)

some tips to keep in mind i guess

jitter, grit and noise textures are very good things when u want something to look rough

avoid pure blacks and whites; most paper isn’t printed pure black or white and it only gets more faded and colored with time

if ur super lost, look at reference!! theres a lot of good artists and media out there to get inspiration from, and looking at scans of actual old comics is a nice way to see if ur work looks aged

(also u don’t have to use old comics as reference; i like looking at old vcr footage for reference bc of the texture!! :D)

that’s all i have for my general process

uhh for specifics feel free to ask

i can make more tutorials but this one is a general overview, i just didn’t to take up too much of ur time….

but i really hope it helped! and im very sorry if it didn’t

i’ve never made a tutorial so im sorry if it didn’t answer ur question and also im sorry if this one’s not very useful

thank you for reading!!!

and thank you to whoever asked! :D

#tutorial #art tutorial #hades fanart #i mean technically #i haven't posted it here yet

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calpalsworld · 3 years

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Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

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6ad6ro · 5 years

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um so… i woke up thinking of this old friend. she was like best friends w my bad ex? like i used to hang out w her like crazy. she was rly nice? mostly? tho she def had this issue where she didn’t rly know what she wanted in life. and let other ppls warped judgements of “how ppl should act” rub off on her.

like i remember times she would more or less call me a lazy piece of shit to my face. like it was somehow “understood”? but then i’d be like “why are u calling me that?” and she wouldn’t know. bc it wasn’t her actual opinion. she liked who i was. idk she was just rly confused. i think her brother was a cop. her dad was emotionally neglecting and like conservative or militant? i remember her always wanting to smoke pot but also saying “drugs are bad™”. she was someone who u could tell always wanted to be free but was held back by the opinions of the people around her.

especially her on again off again bf? i… didn’t like him. he wanted to grow up to be a politician. he only listened to classic rock. he looked and acted like a conservative wanabee eric foreman from that 70s show, but somehow even worse. he had her convinced that her dream was to be “a loving housewife”… it made me sick. i remember how he tried to convince her to stop hanging out w her best friend and me JUST bc she smoked pot. bc “she was an evil hippie and bad”. i mean tbh she SHOULD have stopped hanging out w my bad ex, but for completely dif reasons. like he was def that kinda guy. a selfish, immature, stubborn, self-righteous idiot. but he was the first guy to ever rly like her. and she had… self esteem issues. i remember how she would… was always waiting for him to decide to wanna go out w her. she seemed so lonely.

her and i were kinda friends separately from my bad ex (lets call her “A”). so one time i remember she ended up coming over to hang w me n watch rocky horror in my room? it was rly fun tbh!! we were having a great time! it was totally innocent! but i remember at one point she like… got weird. got up. and was like “im sorry i think i’m being a bad person i gotta go”. and left? i didn’t get it at the time? or rather… i think i denied it. she clearly liked me, wanted something to happen that night, and felt like a bad friend for having those thoughts. i never asked her about it but looking back it was p obvious. also A was a control freak n just a bad person… so i wouldn’t be surprised if she told L to stay away from me. even tho A was constantly cheating on me n using everyone around her etc. idk it was complicated.

i also remember another time before her and that guy that became her bf (lets call her “l” and him “m”)… i remember there was some small party at my house and for some horribly embarrassing reason my bad ex (we were still together then) convinced me to mess around w her under a blanket in same room as our other friends? we were all v v drunk. i guess it made others in room feel v lonely n so L and this other girl started like… both making out w the one other guy in the room? it was bizarre. that kind of stuff is fine in some circumstances? but this was rly unhealthy. i remember the guy felt bad and told the other girl he had to stop bc he had always rly liked L and wanted to see where things would go w her? other girl said she was fine w it (and knowing her persona it easily was?) and he ended up napping on floor w L. next day i think she woke up, completely regretted what happened, and ran back to M. it kinda sucked for guy bc he rly cared about her but she never even was willing to talk about what had happened. to her it was just a drunken mistake (i knew she kinda liked him back but obv she was scared).

even w all that stuff, L was a constant member of our hangout group for like… 7 or 8 years straight? idk! it was always rly fun w her! even if, looking back, A constantly was ruining all our fun w her insane bullshit. i have fond memories of 3am park hangouts n just roaming around talking n going on adventures… i’d never cheat on a partner. never have, never will. but i think i did have like… feelings for L that i always ignored? that part of her that… wanted freedom? from those weird family’s/bf’s/society’s ideals that she let chain her down? it was attractive. she was a nice person just doin her best.

anyways i remember around when A and i finally broke up for good (only a month after my dad died, if u wanna know how awful of a person A was). and she ended up taking me aside n warning me that A had been cheating on w me w another guy, but it’d gotten serious w him. and A of course was lying and stringing me along so she could get money n sex from me etc. A using me was p common. but L had had enough and “betrayed A” (did a v nice thing) and told me. i think that was… really what set in motion A and i being done for good. that helped wake me up about what a horrible person A was. and had always been. i’ll always be grateful to L for that. that must’ve been hard for her. and i think her and A’s like 10 year friendship died over that. which rly was a good thing like A was a terrible person.

anyways fast forward like 2? 3?? 4 years? L had gone off to a college out of state w her boyfriend M. she… followed him around. no judgement, but it prob wasn’t good for her. i was in an apartment in another city and me and A had been DONE™ for years. i was still def hurt from the 8+ years of abuse, but i was def over her at least. seeing other ppl regularly. it was def a weird time for me but… that’s another story.

L and i hadn’t rly talked in years. i just didn’t rly associate w ppl A still hung around. i never knew her and L had stopped being friends or i prob woulda kept up w L. i don’t think L and i cut off contact on purpose, but it was just one if those “things”. but L hit me up outta the blue. was like “ back in town do u wanna hang?” and we did! it was rly nice seeing her! we went out and about. idk. we started hanging for a bit. but she… idk she clearly rly enjoyed my company? but also… had those weird judgements. idk.

one time we were hanging and she was at my place and saw all the alcohol i had layin around and was like “hey uhhh can i have some?” and i was like “hehe okay i guess we can drink” and ordered a pizza and we just hung out.

idk but before we got drunk she finally told me why she was back. M, the guy she had followed to college, had done the gross, stereotypical dude thing of breaking up w her right after they both graduated. i got a vibe he had been cheating on her all throughout too. he rly was the type. and as we drank we talked about it. i felt so bad for her. she vented all night. and idk all i remember was we were both v drunk and i think i was… idk why my head was in her lap? but she was playing w my hair. and idk. we kissed. things happened. she seemed so happy w it! i was too. i even stupidly cracked a joke “i bet A would be rly pissed if she saw us rn” and we both laughed. i always regretted sayin it tho bc its not like i was doin it to get back at A.

but i remember we were in my bed making out bc i had accidentally gotten aggressive w her n slammed her into a wall n started kissing her? so hard her nose started bleeding? i felt awful but she LOOOVED it and idk we somehow wound up in bed. idk i kinda regret this. bc… i was having a hard time around then and… just sleeping w all my friends? it just became… clockwork. i would do what i thought my friends wanted me to do regardless of how i felt. i had become kinda a slut.

so i remember like… making out but then i started to escalate things? and i think fir a split second she sobered up and was like “wait lets cool this down a little”. and i was like “okay no prob” and we both tried to go for a walk n find a park? we walked hand in hand and she kept telling me how happy she was? like how… this was the kinda stuff M would never do with her? she was just smiling a lot. it was cute. but i was so drunk n still fairly new to area, so i took her in wrong direction from the park. we ended up giving up n just walking back.

we got back in and thats i think when she sobered up mostly but i wad still out of it? and she realised her dog hadn’t been fed. it was def a partial excuse but she rly loved that dog so i could tell it was REAL guilt. i felt bad bc i tried to take her hand n go back into my room bc i wanted her to stay n cuddle? i was just drunk. i wasn’t forceful, but i shoulda been like “oh that’s fine!” but tbh i was also a touch worried she was too drunk to drive. well anyways… she left.

later we did have a looong talk about it. like… she ended up going to try and get back with M again (i still will never know what she saw in him like he rly used her n treated her bad like even going so far as to ask her advice on dating other girls after they broke up). but idk i thought she was smart enough to end things w him, and could tell her and i had feelings, so i tried to stay a lil closer than friends? idk what i told her but it was along the lines of “we can stay friends but if things happen sometimes it’s okay w me”. i look back on it w embarrassment but i guess it wasn’t that bad a thing to say?

but rly it was mostly a drunken mistake. and she was scared. and wanted to cut it off. she couldn’t end things w M like she was still torally in love w him even tho he had abandoned her. tbh i know what that’s like. well anyways i remember a few hangouts later she just… bailed on me? in a rly mean way? i had gone to pick her up from her house (idk 30 min drive each way) and she just… totally stood me up. i was parked at her house like texting her wondering where she was? and she sent me a text like “sorry something came up”. and wouldn’t tell me what happened and i got annoyed and drove home.

i have a feeling now that like M had… shown back up in her life and she sorta… threw me away to run back to him? i mean i can’t take it too personally bc she woulda done that to ANYONE. i don’t remember what happened after that but we just stopped talking again. i saw later on fb that her and M had gotten engaged or married?? idek? idk if her and i are still fb friends or if one of us blocked the other or what? i don’t remember.

but idk. i hope she’s well. i hope M got WAYYY better. or she left him. or idk. i wouldn’t even know how to contact her. i’m almost afraid to. like bc i… could see her giving up on her dreams and just being that housewife to him. even if she was mildly content doing that, i know she’d never be happy. and it’s so unlikely that he’d have grown to be good to her. i just… hope she’s doing well and is okay and happy. idk why i woke up worrying about her. it’s been so long… i’m such a dif person now. idk. time is weird.

#long

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sehoglows-blog · 7 years

Text

its not all shits and giggles (chp. one)

yg vs sm groupchat

milkbunsehuu: baek

chanchan: he’s not here rn, at work, but whats up boo?

milkbunsehuu: idk not much. like, jongin got me hard again.

chanchan: why is our name still called yg vs sm

chanchan changed the group name to sekai initiation

milkbunsehuu: yeol. yeol. yeol. stop calling him kai.

baekiepoo: im of work sluts. yeol get ur ass over here take me home.

milkbunsehuu: why is the bottom saying this and *off

chanchan: ur a bottom too sehunnie

baekiepoo: how do u know i dont switch

chanchan: LMAO NO

milkbunsehuu: right because, “y-yeol, fuck pleasepleaase let me come oh shit. oh fuckk” is SUCH a switch

baekiepoo: oh shiete

you heard tht?

milkbunsehuu: yeah bb, i fell asleep and when i woke up i needed to take a piss so i walked 2 the bathroom n heard that shit

chanchan: fuck

baekiepoo: you should’ve joined つ´Д`)つ

milkbunsehuu: uhm no. ew ion wanna see that mess

chanchan: we all know you like being wrecked bby

baekiepoo: wait

can i add someone?

he doesnt have many friends and he goes to our school!! please??

milkbunsehuu: who?

chanchan: sure

milkbunsehuu: i am so sure you saw me ask who

baekiepoo: yay!!!! its a guy named jongdae. he’s v nice and from China!!!

baekie added jongbae to the groupchat sekai initiation

jongbae: uh hi~

milkbunsehuu: hii

chanchan: dont be shy.

im chanyeol.

call me yeol.

thats sehun he has relationship problems with Jongin.

jongbae: i already know u guys. baek told me about you.

chanchan: do u know about sehun’s daily masturbation sessions infront of his roomie.

milkbunsehuu: HE’S ASLEEP ITS NOT REALLY IN FRONT OF HIM U DICK

jongbae: dont u think he heard?? i mean…

milkbunsehuu: that might be why

he hates me so much

fuck

baekiepoo: dumbass!!! dumbassss! u gotta apologize.

jongbae: what’s ur roommates name?

milkbunsehuu: yixing.

jongbae: omg!! ik hiM!! he’s so chill.

milkbunsehuu: he HATES me. like seriously. (T⌓T)

chanchan: not the emojis. pls no.

baekiepoo: u’d better get used to it.

jongbae: lemme talk 2 him.

_☙_

jongbae: yixing!! yixing!!

dinoxing: whats up?

jongbae: ik your roommate!!

dinoxing: oh ew. ew. ew. how??

jongbae: im in a chat with him!! he’s super nice.

dinoxing: oh? he keeps jacking his cock in front of me so like

jongbae: nooo!! NOO! WAIT FUCKING HELL WAIT HIM EXPLAIN!

_☙_

sekai initiation

jongbae: he knows

baekipoo: you’ve been found out kid! go run. get a room transferrr.

chanchan: add him!!! HURRY JONGDAE.

milkbunsehuu: NO YOU LITTLE SHIT DONT U DARE

jongbae added dinoxing to the chat

dinoxing: Sehun.

milkbunsehuu: IM SORRY.

dinoxing is typing...

chanchan: ur done for. me andw im gonna go pick up baekhyun.

baekhyun: u mean u havent been coming voer?

jongbae: voer

dinoxing: Okay so like, I know you have this huge ass crush on Jongin and shit and you know that he’s my friend and all, but you can’t keep on masturbating in front of me like that. Usually I wouldn’t have a problem with it but holy fuck you’re such a bottom that it’s a tiny bit of a turn-on and I don’t wanna get hard. So, can you go into our bathroom and beat off? That’s helpful. Oh, and, I haven’t told Jongin so ur lucky. (´・ω・｀)

jongbae: too much words~

dinoxing: not even that many

milkbunsehuu: uh thanks?? ill go to the bathroom to beat off?? just dont hate me.

dinoxing: why did you think i hated you?

milkbunsehuu: because you give me death stares and scowling and i hear u whispering about me.

to ur friends.

on the phone.

five times.

how many friends do u fucking have?

dinoxing: well there’s minseokie, there’s junmyeon, satansoo, and jongin, i didnt tell him tho.

milkbunsehuu: shit. whyyyyy??????

dinoxing: uhm. go fucking masturbate idk.

jongbae sent a gif <img src="http://i.imgur.com/lOwiVsp.gif"/>

dinoxing: u meme.

milkbunsehuu: why did u???

dinoxing: im adding them.

milkbunsehuu: dont bitch.

dinoxing: fineee. l8ter

milkbunsehuu: no never

im going home. keep the door open.

chanchan: are u saying u were texting during class? bad sehunnie.

milkbunsehuu: are you saying u were texting n driving??

chanchan: stfu im dRIVING SJDALGSJ FUCGHK

dinoxing: if he's dead i want his room

baekiepoo: so u fuck good i presume?

dinoxing: yes why i have a bf u homewrecker

baekiepoo: chanyeol + death + new roommate = me needing a new boyfriend to fuck

oh wait he's here ur lucky

(≧∇≦)/

_☙_

Sehun walked into his dorm room with a sigh to see Yixing sitting on the couch watching a new episode of some drama on TV. He didn’t really know what to say to Yixing because of the weird series of texts they just had, but he was at least glad class was over. He set down his books onto their kitchen counter and went into the fridge to look for something to snack on, like an apple, because he had dance class in an hour and he didn't want anything to really take over too much time. He settled on a small cheese dish and platter from Publix and as he was walking out, Yixing was staring at him, amused.

“Sehun-ah. Come here.” Sehun stared at the black haired boy before walking over to him warily. "Bitch, walk quicker, I don't bite." Sehun wanted to retort but instead he walked over to the couch Yixing was sitting on, Yixing motioned for the boy to sit on his lap and Sehun hesitated. "Are you serious?" Yixing reached for his hand and latched onto to it, he pulled him down onto his lap and held him there. "Now kid, let's talk. Why do you like Jongin so much?" Sehun though for a moment, chuckling awkwardly as he messed around with his jacket string.

"Well, for one, he's a spectacular dancer and, uhm, well he's really hot. Have you seen the kid? Jesus Christ he's so cute. And I may have saw him naked, he has a big dick, but that's not the whole important part, there's also the fact that he's actually really nice to me. T-the few times we talked, he was nice.”

Yixing nodded his head, "So...you saw his dick?"

Sehun stuttered and turned to look at him, "N-no, it's not like that. I mean, I walked in on him after dance practice because I needed my deodorant and I left it in there, and I'm really clumsy and stuff and I fell and when I looked up i could see inside the stall and I saw his...cock." Yixing nodded and checked his watch.

"I have an idea, so you can like, talk to him better. I know you don't really talk because he always calls you, 'that weird kid in my dance class.'" Sehun's face fell, is that really how he felt about him? That one weird kid, okay that's great. Amazing, actually.

Sehun was hurt, he wouldn't admit it but Jongin's validation is really all that he cares about.

"What's your idea?" Sehun asked, begging to Yixing to help him even after he obviously bugged him with his "sessions" but he wasn't really begging Yixing himself. He just wanted Kai.

"If you want to know all you gotta do is add my friends to the groupchat, minus Jongin." Sehun bit his lip, he didn't know his friends, but it really couldn't be that much harm, now could it?

"Fine then, now what's your idea?" Yixing showed him his watch.

"Get to dance practice, you might miss Jongin." He smirked as Sehun struggled to get off of his lap.

"I'll be back later!" And he ran out the door. Yixing laid back against the couch and sighed, he turned over and looked at the television sullenly before getting up to grab a snack.

_☙_

“Alright class, today we will be looking at our dances from last week and reviewing them! Now, you remember than you were separated into groups for your duo, so you won’t be reviewing your own dance, and it’s a group project!” The class broke out into whispers as the students contemplated the what group they wanted to be in, “Students! I’ll be choosing your groups.” The class groaned as their teacher reached into her bag, pulling out a sheet of paper with names on it.

Sehun didn’t really pay attention until the teacher called Jongin’s name, and then his name followed, which made Sehun make a tiny whimper sound, Jongin scooted over to him and the teacher gave him a disk with what Sehun guessed was someone’s dance.

“Also, students, you will be doing a whole project on this! So, yes, I want poster boards and a nice report on the dance itself, and techniques that could have been used to make it better! Now go discuss.”

Sehun turned to look at Jongin, he was quickly tapping away on his phone before shutting it off and looking at Sehun. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.

_☙_

sekai initiation

dinoxing: can i add my friends now?

baekiepoo: did sehun say u could, i added yeol and he got upset

dinoxing: yeah dw. we talked about it.

chanchan: so u tried to get w/ my bby???? @dinoxing

dinoxing: no

chanchan: sure u did. i can scroll up…

baekiepoo: ur an idiot yeol did u even READ it

chanchan: … nvm im an idiot

dinoxing: ik

dinoxing added marshmallow™, mom, satansoo to the groupchat sekai initiation

marshmallow™: oh new people hihihihihi

satansoo: who the fuck

mom: sekai?? what’s a sekai??

dinoxing: sehun’s groupchat, idk where he is right now.

marshmallow™: the masturbating roommate? the one who masturbates to jongin?? who’s kai???

baekiepoo: oh thats my fault, see, i didnt know his name because sehun wouldnt tell us so i called him Kai. after that singer idk.

chanchan: ^^^

marshmallow™: and who are you people?

baekiepoo: bitch we could say the same to u whores we’re the originals. jongdae added yixing and thne BADBVAFM BAM!

milkbunsehuu: im gonna die

satansoo: not important right now masturbater

mom: soo dont be mean

okay hii! im junmyeon. im now ur mom.

satansoo: im kyungsoo. i hate you~

dinoxing: omg he used a ~

satansoo: i wanted to rhyme

dinoxing: bs ur cute admit it

mom: yixing dont harass him babe

chanchan: mooore couples!!

mom: yeah me and yixing are an item

baekiepoo: WAIT

JUNMYEON??

UR IN ME AND JONGDAE’S FUCKING MUSIC THEORY CLASS

jongbae: gasp shocker!

mom: oh yeah i dont talk much

marshmallow™: unless he’s drunk or lecturing. like at last weeks party

dinoxing: y weren’t u guys at jongin’s party?? he has one like every fucking week

baekiepoo: we’re unpopular we dont get invited

chanchan: ^^^

milkbunsehuu: ^^^

jongbae: yeah pretty much

satansoo: pathetic

milkbunsehuu: says the fucking egghead

satansoo: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

milkbunsehuu: U’VE BEEN IN MY DORM

marshmallow™: i want intros from “the originals”

baekiepoo: im baekhyun im amazing i have a tight ass (not as nice as sehun’s tho) nice af legs and fabulous hair?? my bf’s yeol and he’s the best.

chanchan: im tall

im also a fucking yoda

i rap

milkbunsehuu: uhm

marshmalow™: we already know u yixing was telling us about u

dinoxing: sozzz

jongbae: hii im jongdae and i like candy!!!

santansoo: i like this one 4 minseok

marshmallow™: o ya im minseok and i like jongdae already!

milkbunsehuu: i got jongin’s number.

________

link to rest of story: click here

#exo #fanfiction #archive of our own #link for the rest #literally the only cross #texting fanfic #sehun #sekai #chanbaek #yixingxjunmyeon #kyungsoo #kai #jongin #jongdae #minseok #xiumin #chen #baekhyun #chanyeol

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celestialallstars · 5 years

Text

Episode #16: “Well, this is the end folks.” - Stephen

I WANT TO QUIT

I AM GOING TO QUIT

MICHAEL DESERVED BETTER HE WAS MY FUCKING F2 AND BEST FRIEND IN THIS GAME AND IM SO FUCKINF MAD I LOVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART HE DESERVES WAY BETTER THAN THIS FUCK THIS CASST SO MUCH I CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING

#FuckChris

FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST

EITHER IM QUITTING OR IM WINNING OUT OF SPITE WATCH THIS SPACE

Feel like pure shit just want Michael back

Bryce messaging me like “hey bowling ball” SHUT UR FUCKING FACE BRYCE DO NOT START TRYING TO TALK TO ME RN I AM MAD AT YOU

I MADE FINAL FIVE AND I HAVE AN IDOL I LEARNED MY MISTAKES IM MAKING FINAL FOUR I BEAT MY PLACEMENT WOOO I makin sure history dont be repeating doe

Alrighty, I am hoping that one of Chloe or Zach leaves this round. I dont know how the idol is going to go but I think Chloe's the safest bet for us as I still feel Zach could have it. Still, I can't risk a Loris situation so I would prefer it if Stephen won immunity. I do feel bad for him and I just hope he still trusts me even if I lost a little last night. Right now I think if Crystal Clear is the F4 then it could do a lot of good if anyone but Bryce wins it but I hope Stephen is wanting to go to the end still now

So, THAT happened. Chris lied and sided with Bryce and Zach instead of splitting like we planned! Greeaaaaaat.

He says it happened shortly before tribal, but when he told me his reason, he said it was because of Michael attempting to make an F3 deal, which is something that happened the day before.

I did have an interesting chat with Zach where he said me and him are essentially seen as Chris and Bryce's +1's and our chances of winning sitting next to them might be pretty low based on that perception. Obviously I want Bryce out before Chris, but I need to start realistically thinking of cutting Chris at some point. He did go behind my back here and staying blindly loyal despite that just seems foolish. He said he'd use the idol on me this round which is great and all, but if Bryce wins immunity... well... what are my options? Honestly the best case scenario is me or Chris winning immunity just so we can be sure about playing the idol on the one who loses and voting Bryce out.

I hope that bad scenario doesn't have to play out, but let's just say at this point I think Zach and Chloe are my best possible F3. Which is interesting considering I just tried to get Zach out!

It does kinda suck to hear Michael say what he said. I get he was upset but like I dunno. It didnt help but at the same time I don't feel too bad knowing that he made an f3 without me in it. My hope was that it makes the others think more on NOT bringing me to the end so I want to use it to my advantage as much as I can to still win it all if its possible

This vote has been so messy it's ridiculous. I know Chris has the idol and is likely playing it on himself, so I'm trying to get Zach and Chloe to throw their vote on him so me and Chris can decide who goes. I was considering actually voting him out for a bit but I don't think that's feasible without their being an imminent reason for him to use the idol on someone else.

So I told Chloe and Zach the plan, and I told Bryce the plan was Chloe and used idol-fear as my fake reason. Hopefully it's a strong enough justification for him to buy it and just vote for her, but he's immune so he personally has nothing to fear tonight. It's been a hard day and I hope everything pans out as I expect and I'm not on the bad end of all the plans LOL.

im in f4 wooh but no chance at winning i think im gonna be blindsided by zach tonight so thats fun if chris goes im legit over but idk how to fix that i ened to make sure chris votes stephen with me but idt he will

________________________________________________________________

Chloe: How does michael leaving impact the game?

Michael leaving the game probably means it’s a bit more open for people to make moves and shake things up even more which is TERRIFYING. In my eyes Michael had a lot of control over people that was going unnoticed.

go to an optometrist queen

im trying to do stuff but who knows oh well LOL SDGMLKDSGKDSGKDMSKGDSK i want chris out but he probs has idol all i know is unless theres an idol nullifier i be makin f4 tho

________________________________________________________________

Chloe is voted out 2-2-1. She becomes the eighth member of our jury.

Watch Chloe’s exit interview take place below:

________________________________________________________________

Welp! I've survived probably my closest call all game. I wish I could make it to the end while being targeted a bit less but I can settle for this. Anyway, selecting Chloe to be my target ended up being the correct decision, since she was the only person other than me who could be targeted. I'm so close to the end again, and the people still in don't see me as much of a winner threat. I hope they're wrong sksksksksksks

I think winning this immunity challenge and being the reason Bryce goes home could boost my odds quite a bit, but I need to be ready for the possibility of not winning the immunity challenge as well. Still, I have F2 deals with Chris and Zach, so that's another reason to avoid wanting to choose between them here. No reason to make anyone madder than they need to be.

I guess a lot is riding on the last comp and I enjoy it because it does show how it isn't clear cut as far as what will happen next.

ok so results in 2.5 hours and i know im not winning its so sad but its just sth that i have to face. i tried my hardest at endurance but fell alseep. before and after.. i have no brain. counting? literally my least fave thing on orgs the actual anxiety it gives me is unreal. winterbells???? anyways. the puzzle prob the only thign i can do alright at and i just know zach beat me at it too. and like just like my og season i feel like if i dont win i go home.at least there i dont think maynor would have voted me but here i dont have a maynor and i will get 3-1'd even tho i dont think its the right move like ugh this is so sad i rly just wanted to show i deserved my win and my spot on all stars and i cant even win final immunity its so embarrassing why do i even play orgs this will be my last mark my WORDS going out on one of my fave orgs ever will be cute anyway yay wooh haha im so random...

________________________________________________________________

im so sad like im depressed this sucks im gonna get 3-1'd for WHAT why wont zach take me what could i have done differently except be better at immunity like ive had no agency since f9 rhys blindside and its like that has been annoying but it was always with the end goal being yes i may not have gotten to play how i wanted to but at least ill make ftc how cute. but i dont even get to do that and its like ppl just say i was a shield well i have feelings and i dont like being used as a shield why am i so melodramatic its literally an online game but im just tired of being used and thrown away and so what if ive listened to liability 10 times since i woke up this morning that has nothing to do with me feeling like im a toy that ppl grow bored of.

Its been one heck of a rollercoaster but I have a little faith for this last tribal. I was sad to have lost the final challenge but I feel it can perhaps help my overall game if Im able to make it to the final three. With that in mind, its time to enact my final plan. While I have openly acknowledged Bryce's threat level to people I sorta was in need of certain things falling into place- Zach winning was the first part even if it would have been nice for Stephen/myself. Now is the part I pretty much spell it out for him that taking Bryce not only equals less jury votes but also could take votes that Zach would have since Bryce is viewed as the stronger of the duo. I basically have to make Zach be fully on board to get out his biggest threat to winning.

________________________________________________________________

As for Bryce, it was nice to play with him but I do hope he is serious about voting Stephen because it then guarantees that not only am I safe but that I can get him out. Alas Justice4Mitch has never died but if I can pull it off after basically convincing Bryce I was not against him while also just painting Zach as a necessary meat shield then I have a chance! I dunno how it would go down with the jury but thats moot until I see "18th person voted out and the final member of the jury...@Bryce"

So I made a bit of a mistake last night. Zach won immunity and I assumed it was pretty clear Bryce was gonna go 3-1 no strings attached, and I told him my reasons for voting him. Bryce isn't giving up though. He came up with a plan with Chris to get Zach to put his vote on Chris, and then the 2 of them vote me out. It's not the craziest idea I've ever heard which is why I think I made a mistake telling Bryce the truth.

Knowing this, I went to Zach and told him everything about this plan. Hopefully it makes Zach too gun-shy to consider voting for Chris and, since I don't think he wants me out that only leaves Bryce as an option. I wish I was immune and had nothing to worry about but here we are! If Bryce can dig himself out of this he'll have a really good shot to win though. And Chris/Zach have to be aware of that.

youtube

im livid im depressed and my hair is such a mess.

this is likely my penultimate confessional [that is lengthy] so here we go.

i won immunity. im so happy. I MADE FINAL TRIBAL!! even if i lose, i still made it here, in an allstar season - which is just phenomenal. top 3 out of 21... WOO! and i beat my placement and improved my game (in my subjective opinion) and so i feel like i got what i wanted out of this game. i didn't even need the immunity tbh but.. it's just a relief to have it because it secures my game and allows me a bit more control than the average person at F4.

when it comes to the vote, i think the frontrunners are chris + bryce. i think neither are a cut-and-dry win, but i think they are the two people that the jury is currently praising to a degree. it's also known that those two are on the chopping block for this round, and i believe i'm in a swing vote position (stephen/chris voting bryce, bryce voting chris - i can tie it or send bryce home).

this is where it becomes tricky. i love all these people, especially bryce. he's my best friend and we've been through this game hand in hand. i would love to see him win, and i would prefer him as a victor over stephen/chris (no offence to them, just as personal taste obviously). but, i think he's an obstacle for me come FTC. the jury has perceived me to be his goat (or just a follower of his), and while that's not true (both bryce and i have played briefly separate games and have taken some control at varying points), perception matters a lot. like, it's not reality - but it is critical to who wins this game. so i think i need to do my utmost best to reverse that perception.

my main strategy throughout merge (and i mentioned this in early confessionals) was to highlight bryce as a bigger threat [giving him another challenge win, hyping him up to people, etc.] so that in our inevitably perceived duo, he would be the bigger fish to fry. while at times this failed (ie f8 when I was the target of the split vote), i fixed it by ensuring jared's elimination because he was the person keeping bryce alive and that was awareness!! woo!! but overall, with the whole "shield strategy", it becomes redundant imo if you take that shield to FTC. bryce, as someone who's been consistently targeted (him and i both tbh), if he gets to the end, that becomes so impressive. even if he hasn't made many moves or whatever, it's that underdog-like story that likely ensures him the gold in my eyes. i would love to see him win!! he's the best candidate (on a personal level) to be sandra diaz-twine (though he's being so fat to me right now, as i am to him though). but i feel like my prominent strategy only ever comes into fruition if i eliminate him, and that's where i'm leaning (and he knows that).

while chris could win (or even stephen, i won't exclude him), it's all a risk. if they do, then good game!! but i think ive played to a great standard and have proven myself, and i've shown divergence from bryce and others and while some moves failed, i attempted to be flexible and that in and of itself speaks a lot! woo!! this is a deserving final four imo (higher than average for most final ours). this allstar season has been hectic, every vote being so diverse, so regardless of the final outcome, it's an achievement that us four made it here.

i could be majorly misinterpreting this game as a whole, but who cares. chris and stephen are both great speakers, so it'll be a tossup in that regard, but i just have to do what's best. maybe i vote out chris though. i'm torn, and it's not because of what anyone has said, it's just an internalized conflict that's like... do i vote out my best friend but i think it's smarter or do i vote out another threat and just hope the jury can recognize that i had a stronger game than perceived.

i think i know the answer though. and i hope that when he (BRYCE LKSDGLKSD i love him im on call with him ill link a pic below) goes to jury he can be my cheerleader... bc i lav him. if not i understand. but I HOPE he doesn't hate me remotely seriously because i value our friendship immensely... but i didn't come here to play for second. will i get second (or third)? sure. it's possible. but at least i didn't *play* for it, if that makes sense.

link to bryce on cam suffocating himself with a pillow in response to me potentially voting him out: https://imgur.com/BgFRtsK

that's all. MAYBE I DONT WRITE ANOTHER CONFESSIONAL THIS IS TOO STRESSFUL AND LONG AND MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING. but that's it. love yawls. mwah.

IM SO DEPRESSED IM GETTING 3-1 HOW DO I HAVE SUCH BAD SOCIAL GAME WHY AM I THE WORST PERSON TO EVER PLAY THE GAME WHATS THE POINT OF PLAY 77 DAYS IF I CANT BE A TWO TIME WINNER I RUIN MY SLEEP SCHEDULE I PUSH THROUGH MY EPISODES OF SADNESS TO TRY TO WIN AND ITS ALL FOR NOTHING BC IM AN UNLIKABLE AND NO ONE WANTS TO SIT NEXT TO ME IN THE END LIKE THATS SO CRAZY ITS INSANE I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LIKE ME https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/613389489154293780/634539770583973888/unknown.png

________________________________________________________________

i thought most betrayed was jared to me but turns out its zach to me

________________________________________________________________

Bryce is voted out 3-1. He becomes the ninth and final member of our jury.

Watch Bryce’s exit interview take place below:

youtube

________________________________________________________________

Ahhh I cant believe I made it to FTC. Its pretty surreal to have actually made it after everything's that happened! I am so nervous about FTC because I know a lot of people may not be thrilled to see me and I have to do a lot lf convincing...but this is where I have to try to give everything my all and hope it will work out!

Well, this is the end folks.

My final confessional of All-Stars. Will it be my final Celestial confessional? Who knows. All I know at this point is that my speech is ready and I'm speculating as to what questions I will be asked and what my answers will be. Finally being at the end of an ORG is so surreal but winning this thing after all the nonsense would be so sweet.

Making it to the end with Chris is great too, even if I kinda wish he was just on the jury supporting me. This is our second time playing an ORG together but the first time we played we both went pre-merge, so this really is a big deal for us.

I'm proud of the game I've played though, and I want to make sure that comes across tonight. Even if I ultimately end up losing I won't let myself be called a goat or "just playing for FTC". I came here to win from the very beginning and by the end of the night everyone is going to know that.

I am so nervous for this FTC that I don't think I'll do that good, BUT I'm gonna put on my acting abilities and pretend I am confident and own everything I can! It's do or die and I'm not ready to be six feet under yet!

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So I'm very happy with myself when its all said and done! This was such a journey for me in that whether I win or lose I feel satisfied with myself because I had highs and lows and learned things- wishing my fellow finalists the best of luck and huge thank you to the hosts for allowing this to even exist here :)

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Zach wins in an 8-1-0 vote!

#episode #shinebright

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ohnomyfishjustdied · 7 years

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Me watching the last bit of the last Harry Potter movie. WARNING SPOILER ALERT

Ohmy. I’m excited to know what is going to happen because it’s so scary. I have the idea that snape is very very mean but i have seen guesses that he is the very best in the last movie and everybody will love him so im really scared. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas i love it i love it. ohmy fuckkk. What is this buullshit theyre suddenly figthing and now its sort of over but harry is totally collapsing and people are really scared. Ohno a huge scream i hope its not ginny another scream. Scary whispers in my ears. Voldemort is trying to convince everybody that they should give harry and ginny is the best and filtch is actually a genious. Yaaas miss i dont know your name anymore. And i also love luna. Hahahahahha ilove proffesor something woman mcgonnagan or something. shes so cute hahahahah awiieieiie all the other teachers are great too right now but it is especially the music that makes me really happy and excitted of course LOL im so happy Luna knows more go to screaming girl. They like to go through glasses and windows while filming ive seen it more often. Holy fuck thats one big army ohmyyyy are all those peope followers of voldemort. Ohmy. What is going to happen ohmy they broke their own promise. Helena is quite creepy isnt she. In the place where everythinh is hidden if you have to ask youll never know if you know youll never find it something like that. I like that ron knows the spel to open it. oh fuck theyre already there. They need one tooth from the basilisk. Come ooonnnn do it already ohmy fuck what is happening ohmy is it better now he is dead right aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ther kissing finalllyyyyyyy yaasssss ohmy yas i love it haha hand giggling. Ohmy voldemort is strong now. Ginny is so cute. The eternal wand is breaking? What is this he is using it to strongly or something. Id be scared to death ahhahaah see nevile running. Awieiiei its so sad tho. They have a good backup plann ohnooooo where is neville is he dead nooooo he is not yasss thankfully ohmy hahhahahahah you joker ’that went well’. Wowowowo also there are giants and stuff it seems like voldemort is winning now i do not wish to lose more of my followers or kids. Comeon harry find that stupid thing yaaaas theyre kissing again i love them. Malfoy you stupid fuck. Go harryyy dont die please i have already seen a post that he almost dies or something i cant lose him tho so careful pls. Is he going into that thing that vanishes things ohno he was searching for that other thing. Whats that creature. I hear something. Harry pls save draco come on you. Yassss save him pls yeysysyysysyysys im so happty rn but watch it for the fire. HE GOT IT ITS IN THE FIRE THE DIADEM IS KILLED HE MUST BE REALLY WEAK RN i hope so but harry isnt really feeling better himself i see. Oh hes testing his skills by killing someone.. very brave V. … THis is such a good movie tho so many emotions are in this movie its so good. Lucius doesnt really look good actually tbh. Harry pls tell what you saw that you will come to him and he doenst have to find you pls do that and pls dont lag again wait imma start you up again bevause this is highly annoying. It now gives no nvrmind it has started. Hogwarts is one big mess tho ohmy its huge and terrible even spiders and stuff. The music makes it a hundred times more dramatic than it actually is tho its terrible who made this awesome shield Albuussusu or his brother yasss slay queen. There is some discussion about the wand what is snape going to do he is sort of nervous. The elder wand belongs to snape ohmy he is the true owner ohno he has to be killed wtf voldemort is such a mean person he is the worst i know. HP has to look at snape being killed wtf is he going to do something ohno there is blood all over the wall wtf is happening please save him HP save him you are such a good person at heart HP ohmy i wouldnt be able to do that at all. Snape is being pretty cute right now tbh dont dieeee i dont want people to die anymore wtf is happening and why does this keep happening. Harry stay strong and hermione too please everybody hears this now not anymore or ohmy thats not fucking true you are such a loser worst thing is its not a scream it is actually more powerful its is a whisper and how much more powerful is a whisper compared to a scream? Thats so true think about it if you will. Now everybody will be mad at harry i know it is true huh wait she was dead right. NOOOO WHY fredddd nooo fuck that shit and whyyyy luyping i said i didnt want to lose anyone anymore ohmy fuck dont you know how to listen you stupid fuck. Is this dumbledores office i think so i wish i was a witch you know how awesome that wouldve been? Aww who is the cute girl and the stupid girl and the cute little snape. Ohmy so first lily was severuss friend maybe they were lovers even thats so mean tho of James to take that advantage. Ohmyyyyy James is actually so mean tho ohmy and even dumbledore is mean is harry snapes kid or what i didnt quite get it. nope nope nope snape is the best person ever ohmyyyy i hope he lives ohmy fuck we all thought wrong all secrets are revealed. Ohmy fuckkk how is this possible snape is so cute noooo he must die in order to ohno snape loved lily so much so so sos o feeaking much thats so mean dumbledore ohmy fuck snape cares HE IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS HIM THE SWORD OHMY FUCK OR IT WAS LILY. HE MUST BE KILLED BY V. what is this movie ohmy fuck im screaming and crying and ohmy fuck i love you HP. Please live in the end but do kill V. Ron is so less handsome compared to hermione and harry NO OFFENSE AND FUCK ALL THESE MOVIES WHY WHY. Hes is ready to die ohmy fuck what is this shit. Oooh that is the stone that wil bring back to life isnt it so he is going to live int the end isnt it hes gonna live right just swallow the stone for me boy do it. I love sirius black more than who is remuss son? DONT DROP IT YOU FOOL AAAH WHY DID YOU DO IT NOW UGH WHY WHY. Watch it he is coming tho. LET HAGRID LIVE OKAY. THE FINAL SHOW. 40 min. Left. The sound is crazy what is he dead the spell was used on him now it was avada kadavra it is one of the three unforgivable spells. AW cute little ugly voldemort with a huge head. So he kills off his own horkroxe thats stupid right where are his glasses tho i like him more with his glasses on hes cuter like that. Im really relaxed i know that he will live, barely, but live. Were snape and lily meant to be i want to know come on now. I wnat to read the books and read what it all is about bevause i believe i missed half of it. HE LIVED THE FUCK OUT OF AN UNFORGIVABLE SPELL HE SAID DEAD WELL HE IS NOT YOU meanER hey that is the sorting hat thats nice. HELP WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU HARRY JUST WAIT FOR IT. hagrid looks quite happy tbh not really sad or anything. Why is he carried to the hogwarts castle tho. Harry is dead i dont think so whahhahahahha he will live. Even miss filch will not do such things and draco not either WHAHAHAHHA ITS YOUR OWN FAULT STAY DRACO NOOO DONT GO PLS. Nooooooooooo i had trust in you you fucker. NEVILLE TOO. No. No.nononononono. thats not going to what i dont remember what i was writing what are you going to say neville go boy yeah you go tell him pls. FRED WHY DID YOU DIE WHY TF. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH HIS FACE OHMY THIS IS GREAT I LOVE IT> THEYRE WEAK now yeah you run pls. Coward the malfoys arent they always have been stupid persons. Harry do you see them now is he right around the corner. GREEN is the evil colour wait they just swapped plaves how tho okay great anyways. You go hermione throw some rocks at him. Yeah neville wake up grab the sword and just go. Wait a moment why could they get into the vault with imperior because anyone could have done it like that and millions of things could’ve been stolen right lol. But wowowowoowowowoowowo you go weasley mother yass. Wowow courage to jump like that hold on to him tho harry or youll die honey. Wutttttttttttttrt have they formed into one for a sec wt is harry still the samen ow IF THE SNAKE is killed harry might live through this drave is YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS NEVILLEEE I LOVE YOU SLAYYY BOY NOW YOURE WEAK HOW DOES IT FEEL voldemort isnt going to win this time. The wand always belonged to harry never to dumbledore ohmy that is genious there he goees he is officially dead right now he didnt even live for so long he couldve lived longer as a normal human being to be honest. HEY LUNA I LIKE YOU. HEY HARRY AND GINNY LIKE YOU TOO. THEYRE SMILING AGAIN NOW ALREADY hey hagrid sweetie. Now he is the only person to live after the avada spell isnt he. Hey herron shipname hermione and ron hahahhahahhah. Its a big mess tho. Okay so via draco it was harrys yay dont throw it out pls. Or break it WOW YOU STUPID HAHAHHAH WHY THO. I guess it will only bring problems but yeah it is kinda hasty to do such a thing isnt it. so he just defeated the darkest wizard ever and only has a bleeding nose wtf hahahha how does he do it tho. WHAT A BEAUTFUL END oh lets see 19 yrs later. LONdon AWIE CUTE BOYS whose childeren will that be. HARRIES AND GINNIES OHMY SO CUTEEE HAHAHHAHA OHMY IM REALLY HAPPY LOL EVEN DRACO IS THERE. He has a ferret that is boring why not an owl. Ohmyyyyyyy herron have kids toooooo yaysyysysy im gonna cry theyre so cute. A#IEIWIIWIWIASDF@#PR UFJ SDK FJ SKDLFSDFKNDFLAKSDJFASJDFOIJAWLKSJDFIJSDLFKJSKDFJK. HES SO CUTE AS A DAD I WONDER WHAT HE DOES FOR A JOB> for a living more lolololol ohmy its so cute tho. 19 years later they havent aged a day lolololol.

#spoilers #harry potter #deathly hallows #reaction #this is in real time #my honest reaction #dont mean to harm anyone #not meant to be offensive #dont watch the language

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hazzagotthisone-blog · 7 years

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thats it. i want to clarify some shits. i am so sick and tired of being judged cuz i love justin bieber. ive been through so much and everytime i wanted to give up on myself, friends, family who ever whos around me and generally my whole life, justin was there and he didnt let me. he was there for me at 3am when i was crying. but i wonder who was there for him?? all the times he was feeling low. all the times he was getting hate from the whole world. dont wanna be dramatic but hes so strong. so this is one of the reasons why i love him. hes strong. as i said he has been through so much but ive never seen him harm himself or anything or anybody else. he just kept his silence everytime. he can take so much. i still remember how mad i was while watching the bieber roast. like i know i had to laugh and it was all a comedy show but still tho. i mean if anyone else was in the place of justin... with all of those things and... ugh nevermind. i mean cmon they talked shit about the love of his life, his father and so on justin is so honest with his fans. he cares about his fans. he takes time to talk with them, hug every single one of them, he has bought roses, coffees and stuff like that. and he does stuff like that now and then to show his love towards his fans. once he even played songs from his next album for them. he posted a video of that crowd- which was taken from the hotel balcony -via his instagram and captioned it; i wake up this morning to this :) best fans in the world #beliebers #sexyfans k can we pause here?? and another story bout this. actually i think yall have heard this one. "justin spittin on his beliebers from the balcony" bullshit. thats exactly what it is. total bullshit. and how do i know a fan cleared this mess up. actually one who was there: "i can definitely confirm that he didnt spit on anyone because i was there and in that instagram video he posted, i also have a video from my view, and he never at any point spit on us. TMZ and all these other media outlets and trying to put two and two together and make him seem like a bad person. personally i think he did it before were even any of us standing down there on the street, because at no point when i was stand there did he even spit off the balcony! he would never do anything like that to his fans. hate how media outlets try to make him out to be a bad person all the time when hes far from." tmz superimposed photos of the fans next to justin on a completely different balcony to make it appear like he was spitting on fans when he wasent. infact earlier that day, justin bought his fans hot chocolate and played them some of his new music. justin loves his fans. people talk shit about justin but little they kno most of the bad things they hear are just made up rumors. i love justin cuz hes such a talented person. i love him cuz hes a sweetheart. if u look real deep into his eyes you can actually see nothing but love. some kid at my school told me that hes a drug addicted and she was like srsly how can u look up to someone like that?? u must be a drug addicted too and she just walked away. hes not a drug addicted. i know yall have heard the story of cops raiding his house for eggs- when he egged his neighbors house which it wasnt a good thing to do i admit when justin does sth wrong i dont endorse it i can admit when he has fucked up and did that shit-and so on. but im pretty sure yall havent heard that the cops actually gave him a random drug test, and he tested negative for every single one. and yes he has smoked weed before but that doesnt make him a "drug addicted". tbh i see nothing wrong with that. alot of people do. plus it has been proven that marijuana is healthier than cigarettes and people are in the process of legalizing it in more states... so to the girl who goes to my school and all those who think justins not in complete health: hes not a drug addicted, he is not addicted to weed and whatever the hell he does in his personal time, people should not worry about it. annnnd about justin being disrespetful to Argentina flag. yes he did kick it off the stage BUT later he apologized and he said that he had no idea what it was. he thought that it was a shirt or sth. he clarified this by tweeting a several tweets saying: @justinbieber heard about what is going on with me down in Argentina and im shocked. I love Argentina and have had some of the best shows of my tour there @justinbieber people throw stuff on my stage all show and i get it to the stage hands to get off so no one got hurt. that video i saw a bra and thought... @justinbieber ...it was a shirt. Im being told by my team it was a shirt but even if it was a flag I would never do anything disrespect to Argentina... @justinbieber ...or the people of Argentina or the fans. Im so sorry for anyone who took my actions the wrong way and i hope you can forgive this mistake and if yall are interested u can search the tweets. to make sure these are actually real. yes he did that. "justin peein in a mop bucket" according to what his manager said he took a backway exit to avoid the paps and at that time he really needed to use bathroom and one of the employees told them that he can do it in a mop bucket... i admit that wasent the best choice but also if u have to go, you have to go... justin is a human being, i think people forget that. hes not perfect and at his lifetime he will fuck up some shits. what teenager doesnt???? tbh the only difference between our teenage years and his is that we all are not under a microscope. if we fuck sth up its just us. we may blame our selves for a while but then we let it go. cuz u cant be hard on yourself. but about justin... well the whole world is watching his every single move. and "its hard to do the right thing when the pressure is coming down like lightning." anyway he said that he has learned from that experience and promised that it wont happen ever again. nobody is perfect and you have to accept that. im pretty sure you have done some not so good things as well that yourent proud of them, but as i said the difference between you and justin is that you are not under a microscope. you dont get judged by everyone in the world. and i actually have another proof to show yall justin isnt bad but the media is lol. they try so hard to ruin justins reputation like why yall bitter i dont get this... so anyway. you mightve heard this or maybe not idk but there was a rumor goin round for a while :" justin called a girl a beached whale then she committed suicide" lol this is like so BULLSHIT i know cuz the girl is alive and she spoke up bout this. she apologized about the whole story goin around cuz she felt guilty. she shared some tweets sayin: @TropicalFlower0 i was NEVER called a beach whale by justin bieber. so sorry about making that up. im sorry @justinbieber and his fans @TropicalFlower0 but i am willing to give the money back to them i just dont want to feel guilty. justin bieber was really nice to us @TropicalFlower0 im not a bieber fan either like the news reporters said. im just a normal girl that needed the money. @TropicalFlower0 so i just want to clarify, justin bieber never called me a whale. all he told us was "hi girls" like i said earlier. @TropicalFlower0 well, after i got home i really felt guilty, my friend told me that what i did was very wrong. @TropicalFlower0 i really needed the money so i said sure, first of all they also invented that i was a bieber fan to make him look even worse @TropicalFlower0 and if i did they would pay me a higher amount of money, they also told me if i get friends and guests to help me they would double @TropicalFlower0 they seemed very unsatisfied and then they came back and told me to make up a story about justin bieber to make him look bad @TropicalFlower0 Then a lot of news reporters came at me and my friends asking us what justin bieber told us so we told them that he just said hi @TropicalFlower0 the other day i was with my friends sun bathing, we saw justin bieber and he came toward us and said nothing else but "hi girls" @TropicalFlower0 i dont understand twitter but i hopefully this gets out there and i wont feel guilty anymore so as u read justin goin to a pool area isnt that much interesting and sort of boring so some paparazzi guy payed this girl and yeah mainwhile when this shitty rumor started to spear around this was his indirect way of sayin that it wasent tru. justin tweeted you are all beautiful i dont even know what to say anymore. these were all some examples. i got so much more to talk about but its just too much. so imma leave this here and the rest for later. "and haterz.... i love u too. ;)" he tweeted this and i think it was needed rn atm im not trying to make justin look like a pure angel who hes not MY point is to show u he does mistakes like us, he is a human like us, he has a beating heart in his chest like us. and most of the bad things u hear about him are just made up rumors. thats it. there i said it.

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