#and the non smut stuff in the true ending was honestly really enjoyable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aspiring-artist-em · 9 months

Text

get to know better tag

thank you @achilleslikespeas!! you're so so amazing omg- anyhoo

three ships: wolfstar, ineffable husbands (someone pls talk to me about good omens I literally can NOT rn), drarry

first ship: drarry, it’s a tried and true ship for me, ive been shipping it since I was like, a child (literally flashback to me at like, 7 years old telling my mom that harry and Draco should get over each other and buy a castle and live together forever as a happy couple (parents were not happy that their daughter was saying this (they were homophobic( (im now gay and still shipping it so suck it, ig)))

last song: I would love to lie and say its something cool like “killer queen” or “lady stardust” bc I listen to those a lot, but once again, I would be lying and my actual last song that I listened to was “no hands (ft. Roscoe dash and wale)”, yk, the frat party song, I like to play it while writing angst

last movie: Harry Potter? idk what one, I like to put the tv on while I do stuff like budget money and write fanfic and draw, so honestly idk, it was probably the chamber of secrets, that and poa are my all time favs

currently reading: ur mom LMAO (im so sorry) no, what im reading is smut, and also like, a good omens fic about Crowley’s fall (witness the fall) bc im trying to forget about season 2′s ending. im also reading away childish things (again) bc like, that's one of my fav drarry fics of all time. if we’re talking about marauders fics, it was probably her body is a temple down in the frozen food aisle by achilleslikespeas, both for my emotional masochistic enjoyment and bc I wanted to draw a scene in the story (go read it now pls, its really good, Claude is really good a writing and im freaking out bc I wanna draw a scene from every single one of their fics I- like go-to horror dead dove fics for me I reccomend Claude and for smut I go to moonie), if we’re talking books books, Ive been reading yellowface and I am a cat which so far, are really really good, but also like, im really bad at reading so like, I haven't actually touched them in a week LMAO

currently watching: good omens, its playing on my tv in the background both because I love it and also because Neil said if u stream it enough amazon will see how valuable it is (with the strike and everything) and like, actually be willing to negotiate, essentially, help out the strike, go watch gay celestial beings

last thing i wrote: 'Til Death Do Us Part, and Even Then, I'll Do My Best to Stay With You, its a dead dove fic centering around grief and denial, uh, 2 chapters in lol

currently writing: I have like, a million wips and no motivation to write rn so lets dive into them lol

1) chapter 3 of do death do us part, very sad, like, maybe 3 sentences in?

2) the next part of my lesbian wolf star series, its the one right before the trail one, so like, part 10 is gonna be another chapter centering more around Sirius’s memories and part 11 is gonna be the trial, I have like, 2 separate things ive written for it and I need to decide where I want it to go tbh

3) smut, gay wolf star, frat hazing blow or blow smut. sirius is on his knees and almost throws up but he doesn't and its lowkey like actually non con but its also frat hazing, like, idk how to explain the vibes but sirius is referred to as a dog and a filthy animal and degraded and he's sucking remus’s dick on coke and im like 2k words in and like, running out of ways to describe a cock lol (its also hard to bc like, I don't have a dick and my textbooks are no help sometimes) but he is also called the “pike puppy” and like, I think im smart for that and also its really filthy ngl, not a happy ending?

4) a short fluff fic to make up for the angst I put my readers through, im like 200 words in

5) au kinda thing, inspired by don't worry darling and like a TikTok that I saw (and now people are commenting on me commenting if I can write the idea and asking for the fic name and like, Im 500 words in? pls I need time), the idea is that Dumbledore has everyone under imperio or a potion to get them on his side to fight for him, lily’s pov, I really like it so far, uhh im like 500 words in I think?

so yeah, when I get inspiration im gonna write everything all at once lol, probably when my body isn't trying to kill me lmao or im at work

tagging: @spookymoonie @pinklume @wxlfstxrisbest @spindrifters @siriuslystargazing @siriusly-sapphic @green-lights-33

8 notes · View notes

pigeontheoneandonly · 3 years

Text

Author Interview

Tagged By: @bardofheartdive, @rpgwrites, @dafan7711

Tagging: Anyone. I think most have been tagged by this point? But if you haven’t and this looks fun, please tag me so I can read!

Name: Pigeon

Fandoms: I’ve posted fics for Mass Effect and Dragon Age. I’ve written fics and parts of fics for World of Warcraft, Baldur’s Gate, SWTOR, Neverwinter Nights, Pathfinder, D&D, and probably other things I’ve forgotten, but not posted any.

Where you post: AO3 and tumblr (masterpost)

Most popular one-shot: Smut: After Mars, a small fShenko AU where Kaidan isn’t injured on Mars in the opening of ME3. Non-Smut: Once More, With Feeling, an mShenko story where Kaidan goes to Andromeda.

Most popular multi-chapter: Mass Effect: Labyrinth, my fShenko ME2 novelization featuring Nathaly Shepard. It is canon-divergent while trying to stay true to the spirit of ME2, if not the exact canon, and includes a novel-length intertwining fic about Kaidan’s activities during this era.

Actual worst part of writing: Wanting to write all day and having no energy left when you’re done with work, dinner, and other life responsibilities

Favorite story you wrote: This changes frequently, but right now it’s Lemongrass, a Nathaly/Kaidan post-ME3 one-shot about trying to rebuild one’s sense of self after investing your entire identity in war and survival.

Story you were nervous to post: All smut, really, ever, every time. Certain chapters out of Discovery and Labyrinth. A chapter coming up in Labyrinth that I’ve been nervous about for literal years, since I first put it in the outline, and frankly will be a test of how much my readers trust me from a storytelling perspective. Not because it doesn’t make sense, but because it introduces some uncomfortable elements that will need to be addressed and resolved.

How you choose your titles: Mostly by giving up and realizing I have to call it something. I tend to like my short fic titles more than my long fics. But generally, my titles suck.

Complete works: I’m not sure exactly? My masterlist has 43 complete.

Incomplete works: Of stuff that is partially posted, Labyrinth and Wanderers (my DA/ME crossover) are the ones that stand out. Lots and lots and lots of partially written one-shots and other unposted stuff.

Do you outline: Absolutely. Anything longer than a few thousand words, and I’m totally lost without one. My outlines tend not to be super-formal however.

Coming soon ideas, maybe? I’ve been typing away like a fiend on a Pathfinder fan novel tentatively titled Shallow Graves. It could be summarized as: Found family siblings must confront their grief and learn to forgive each other in order to stop the man who murdered one of their own from destroying the world.

Ask me anything: I’m not really sure how this question is supposed to be used? So I guess I’ll just ramble… I’m routinely asked about my writing process. But at the end of the day, the truth is that I write because I have to. My mental health, my ability to “adult”, my enjoyment of life and ability to be present all plummet when I stop writing, to the point that it’s the first thing my therapist asks about if I seem to be in a particularly sorry state. It’s my biggest and most enduring coping mechanism, even though I’m rarely writing directly about what is bothering me. And for some reason, some quirk of my psychology, it has to be fiction… journaling never does the trick but just causes me to dwell on the bad.

(And I want to note that this is not remotely exclusive with “because I like to”… I also enjoy it! But my whole life destabilizes if I stop altogether for an extended period of time.)

Best writing traits: I think I’m really good at digging into a character’s head and occupying their space, and that comes out when I write them into the fic.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: The aforementioned Shallow Graves, and honestly also looking forward to getting back to Labyrinth. There’s some good stuff coming up! If also nerve-wracking stuff…

Spicy Tangential Opinion: Hot mustard sauce is the only acceptable chicken nugget dip.

#about me

18 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 5 years

Text

Everybody believes and supports survivors until the second a survivor accuses someone they’re close to. Without fail. Every single goddamn time.

That last reblog...fuck. I’m so mad for that OP I’m shaking. There’s nothing new about their post and that’s what hurts the most. That convo they posted was the same song and dance every single survivor who knows one of their abusers or rapists knows by heart and has heard so many times before they can say the words along with the person they try and confide in.

Doesn’t matter how loud someone is in saying all the right things about believing and supporting survivors, how vehement they are about hating rapists and abusers, how much they present themselves as someone SAFE to be around. The second you accuse someone THEY’VE always felt safe and comfortable around, they will always, always, ALWAYS find a way to tell you you’re wrong and don’t know what you’re talking about, you misremembered or read too much into things or got confused or mistook them for someone else or it wasn’t REALLY rape or abuse or a million fucking things that aren’t actually I SUPPORT YOU. I BELIEVE YOU. THE WAY I’VE CLAIMED TO ALL THIS TIME, MAKING YOU THINK YOU COULD ACTUALLY TELL ME THIS.

And then non-survivors all wonder why so few of us disclose, why so few of us come to you, confide in you, do the exact fucking thing we know will always end the exact fucking way BECAUSE THATS THE WAY IT ALWAYS FUCKING GOES, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SWEAR ‘I’M NOT LIKE THAT.’

And people wonder why I’m so goddamn VITRIOLIC about abuse and rape apologism in fandoms, and so goddamn adamant about not encouraging people to forgive and move on, and so fucking insistent on holding ppl accountable, whether fictional characters or celebrities or random fucking posters, for shit they’ve done even years before, not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ve changed and grown and learn from their lesson, like why am I so sure they’re still like that, ‘you don’t know’.

Except yeah. I do. Because its all so fucking predictable. The sheer number of times I’ve heard variations of that same exact combo since the first time I tried to confide in someone growing up about the shit my mom did to me....I honestly can not count. I can name less than five people I’ve confided in over the twenty five years or so since then who ACTUALLY made me feel safe in doing so, who just sat there and shut up and didn’t try to do or say anything other than “I’m sorry you had to live that, I’m sorry that happened to you.” But I couldn’t even BEGIN to tell you the number of times I’ve tried to open up with people about the shit that hurt me, that terrified me, that traumatized me, only to have them turn around and with ‘good intentions’ awkwardly try and mitigate it and dilute it and water it down or reframe it or give her the benefit of the doubt AS THOUGH ITS THEIR PLACE TO DO SO because she’s my mom and you all just can’t fucking HANDLE living in a world where moms do that shit to their kids. But you still expect ME to, without any of that much vaunted ‘belief and support’ you’re always going on and on and ON about, while you keep living in fantasy land where actually, what actually happened was she was just trying her best and it wasn’t her fault and it was all just bad dreams and remembering shit wrong because who really remembers stuff from when they were kids anyway? LOLOLOL. Fun fact. Once you know what a wire hanger feels like after its been heated on a stove, THATS NOT SOMETHING YOU EVER FUCKING FORGET.

And its exhausting. So. FUCKING. Exhausting.

Like the true, honest to god reason I don’t have any fucking chill when it comes to judging people for characters they stan for or the arguments they make in defense of abusive characters or how people will go to fucking hell and back to defend their right to enjoy their precious noncon rape fantasy smut in peace?

I’ll be totally fucking honest with you, on some fucked up level that I acknowledge is unfair but I just honestly don’t give a fuck - its a test. I admit it. It is. Because at this point in my life, this far into it, this many times listening to the same shit play out any and every single time it comes up, I fundamentally do not trust, do not feel safe, or secure, or capable of fully relaxing, around anyone unless and until I’ve seen them willing to sacrifice something. Give up something or someone, a character or celeb or friend or relative who they formerly were close to or took comfort in or spoke highly of, because that character or celeb or whomever did something that was a dealbreaker, hurt someone or said or did something that made them go you know what, enough, that’s too far, no amount of joy or comfort or security I formerly felt because of this character or person can justify this thing they did, I can see that and this is me actually DOING something with that acknowledgment.

It doesn’t have to be for my benefit, doesn’t have to be for a reason I personally agree with, whatever, it just needs to be SOMETHING. Something visible, something real. Not just hating certain characters or celebs or people, but ones who once meant something to you, something that says.....I used to think this person or this character or this celeb was good and I could like them or even love them and be comfortable and safe around them.....but then someone told me otherwise and I BELIEVED THEM. I SUPPORTED THEM. I. PICKED. THEM.

Because without that, it just is what it is. I don’t care if its not rational, or fair, I just don’t. Twenty five years of the same broken record, I’m tired. I’ve heard “I believe, I support” to the accompanying tune of actions that say the exact opposite so many fucking times it does honestly take a shock to the system, the goddamn JOLT of actually SEEING the proof that at least once, you DID believe someone, you DID do something with that belief, for me to actually think oh fuck, they actually mean it this time instead of oh look, a person who gets off to rape fic is reblogging a ‘look how much I support survivors, Im such a good person’ ego-stroke again.

You can say all you want oh its just fiction, it doesn’t mean anything that I stan this abusive character or this celeb I don’t know, if a person in my REAL LIFE came to me and said this other person I know hurt them, I’d believe THEM, that’d be totally different....but its NOT. Its not remotely and I dont know how so many ppl actually buy this shit coming out of their own mouths cuz if it doesnt really matter cuz its a fictional character or a celeb you dont even know and you STILL cant bear to give up whatever enjoyment you get out of them once its pointed out hey that person or character you enjoy is a fucking rapist....then how the FUCK do you delude yourself you’d be able to give up a person you’ve spent any length of time trusting and being comfortable around in your real, personal life, if someone else disclosed to you that they fucking abused or raped them??? YOU WOULDN’T. AND I KNOW YOU WOULDN’T, BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU GUYS SAY IN DEFENSE OF THESE CELEBS OR THESE PEOPLE ARE THE EXACT WORDS I’VE HEARD SAID OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

So many of you act like you think there’s this magical fucking SIGN you expect to get from on high, if shit like this ever happened in real life, that would magically distinguish it as an OH SHIT THIS TIME ITS FOR REAL moment, like okay NOW its make it or break it time, NOW it matters. And survivors keep telling you over and over again it ALWAYS matters. EVERY TIME you say this shit it ALWAYS matters, because what you’re always saying is what EVERYONE says.....”if I try hard enough, I can find SOME WAY to excuse this shit, so I don’t have to lose anything here, so I can keep going through life exactly as I have been.”

Somehow, some way, it always plays out the same....the SECOND we do or say something that puts someone on the spot, makes them CHOOSE, who will I believe, who will I support.....they always, always, ALWAYS find a way to support the other person, to make you the easy one to discard and toss away, like you’re the problem, you’re the enemy for making them choose in the first place.

Ugh. Fuck it. Whatever. I’m tired and gotta get back to work anyway. Not to be bitter or resentful, but that’s what happens when you’ve got no family as a support system cuz you ‘alienated’ them all by spending most of your life hating them for making you spend every Tuesday night alone with the woman they’ll still never admit abused you every week like clockwork til you finally fucking put your foot down and fucking revolted when you were ten, lmao.

#rape cw #abuse cw #i hate fucking everything cw

10 notes · View notes