#and then i'd be like 'oh my friends are good ppl! ill introduce u' and i did. i made the effort to bring him to them a LOT

[britneyshakespeare]

i was hanging out today w a friend i hadn't seen in awhile and kaily and i were catching up on all the drama involving him (my controlling manipulative and abusive ex-friend) and how he keeps going out of his way to ask ppl about where we are and find us and how the only reason i think i get out of it is bc i don't go to the same college as him anymore, i hardly ever leave the house socially and the few ppl i do see all have no connection w him anymore, and i don't work at some place where he can just show up. i work in pre-k-to-12 public schools. my schedule in terms of days/location is irregular anyway, but if some strange adult man shows up for no particular reason and seeks out a female employee, you do not just get let in. that is how you have the cops called on you. but he does know where i live and i have been paranoid about him finding some excuse to show up at my house. i've had legitimate nightmares about that. i never stopped having nightmares about him i'd say at least once every other week and i haven't talked to him in almost six months.

i don't like at all how i don't feel safe in a way that means i have faith that the issue is over; the person is out of my life; our communication will not be renewed against my will once again. bc all of those things have been attempted. i feel safe in a way that means he happens, by circumstance, not to be able to access me in any convenient way to him. any way he could find me (the only way to feasibly do that would be work/home) would be a justification for calling the police. but i don't have any faith that he wouldn't try, because he has shown himself as being capable of being that low. and if i switch jobs or transfer schools finally and he finds out about it, he can just make it an issue there if he so feels like it, and i'm sure he will. he's a monster. he gets some sort of thrill out of making other ppl feel unsafe and having all the control in the situation

#tales from diana #it was very validating to talk to her bc she never really liked him #in fact i used to be so humiliated when i'd bring him to hang out w my older friends #bc he'd go oooon and on and on about how nobody listens to him nobody understands him nobody cares about or appreciates him #and then i'd be like 'oh my friends are good ppl! ill introduce u' and i did. i made the effort to bring him to them a LOT #(and he would make me feel like he envied me for my oh-so-superior life which i most definitely do not have) #but then he would not listen to her not understand her not care about her and not appreciate her #nor any of my friends for that matter. but he was SO disinterested in her in particular in a way that was just sooo disrespectful #he wouldnt let me hold a conversation w her. or let me bring her into a conversation w him. he'd DOMINATE #in general he didn't like me talking to anybody else or anyone talking to anyone else or anyone else talking #ive never seen a man who cared so little about somebody else getting to finish a sentence. #and like there's a lot of adhd in our friend group. we all (myself especially) have our spirited interjections #and occasionally interrupt but we realize when we're doing it and then pull back & let the other person finish #we try to keep other ppl on track w what they were saying when they go on a tangent #you know. we try and communicate effectively #even tho we r not naturally perfect at it lol. #we're adults who respect each other it's almost like! #but yeah. he was only interested in impressing the couple of men in my friend group essentially #he'd talk abt how my two guy friends r cool & how he wants to be closer to them #and i'd stick up for this woman i hung out w today & he had just absolutely no interest in her #she never liked him anyway which was so baller of her. good on her. she detected his rudeness #and that rudeness used to vex me so much. i suppose bc i couldnt bear to see him treat other ppl how he treated me #altho to a much lesser extent w the overt lovebombing he did to me and the traumadumping and intense reliance upon me #he seriously needed my attention 24/7 it didn't matter if i was studying or working or in bed sick for two weeks #literally he and his vapid fucking needs came before everything in my life according to him. always. crazy #the entitlement of that man is ridiculous. so of course he thinks there's nothing wrong w seeking me out #of course. #i wouldnt care if he died

[smutty-ki113r]

yes Ben is technically already dead lmao. YES BBY I WANNA KEEP U <3 u r so pretty and so nice and so talented and omg just so unique !!

OMG Red u crack me up. my sub ass would never slap a intimidating person...it's just like my brain tells me: "nooo, submit ! now!"

Well idk I don't know hoodie that well but he seems nice and i think it could work :> poly is just more than 2 ppl. can be just 3 or more. some cases only one partner is poly so the others just interact with them and not with the others. each partner can have multiple partners or not. each poly relationship is a bit different. but nontheless, cheating is still not ok. u have to talk to the partners before introducing someone new. I am actually thinking abt asking lj but I don't think toby likes him :<

Ben loves u already! it's gonna be so cool when u two finally meet!! also...the screenshot of ur friends message??? holy shit I laughed so hard.

I am fine ig lol. I will probably be done with my drivers license v soon :>i am crushing on 3 ppl irl and i am scared hh. sleeping is almost back to normal. *^____^*aw red dw :> I couldn't be upset with u !!

most of the cp don't remember their birthday and if they do they don't tell...they think it's stupid. well uh the only ones that remember r jeff and liu and they don't wanna talk abt it. the others either forgot cuz of trauma or time.

dude I am not jealous at all but possessive is accurate. bitchy...idk but i'd say no. hm but I think it's hard to tell if I am all that myself...idk

also lil fun nsfw story: toby throatfucked me recently <3 it was amazing (*^▽^*) he's so vocal too ...i love him sm

(i wish i could just be his sextoy all day long)

-🃏

THE WAY I FUCKING SQUEALED AT THAT- its the way that FUCKING EMOTICON looks for me. Like youre just like “ah yes he throatfucked me 🥰”. You literally kill me man i love you. AGGHGH THAT SOUNDS HOT. You’re so lucky 😖 (says me who’s barely had sexual interaction with anyone and wants to know what its like) but. *hand shakes furiously as i try to drink a cup of water*

I am so so glad that you and Toby are doing good. Im very proud of you both <3 thank you sm for telling me about the poly stuff, I want to be educated!! Awww i love LJ! Is he sexy For a long time I sipped over LJ and he was my #1 above everyone else and I would bring a picture of him everywhere I went. Yes I mean a physical picture. It’s not that I stopped liking him cause hell no i will always love him 🙄 but I think I just saw so much of myself in him that I wanted to hug him so badly and just be there for him cause nobody was there for me.

There’s a lot more to zodiacs than just a few traits, my mom showed me my birthchart and literally 90% of it was so accurate it was CRAZY. Ah so that’ssss why nobody knows their zodiacs. Its ok, oh jeez id hate to bring up trauma for them. But i want to fucking smother them with kisses even if they fight me off and it kills me.

UYFGPYODIRUJCGKYUYPTFDJRCFHGKVHLGUHPFT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAN- you think im pretty 😫 and yes I def am unique… WHY JESUS. Im only talented in making up scenarios that will hurt me. 🥲 but hey I am a masochist so it works out.

ALSO im so PROUD look at you getting your license!!! And im so glad the sleeping went back to normal! I GOT SO WORRIED OML- sometimes i forget shit I say and then im like fuck,,,did i say something mean? Or insensitive?

I would probably slap masky just for kicks. Literally. Little bitch baby boy.

My bsf is literally the most hilarious person I know other than myself. She’s my entire world and my life. She knows a lot about you, and a lot of my anons. I talk a lot about u guys cause yall make me so happy. ISTG I S T GGGGG. .. FUCK. I. He loves me already. Shit dont say that too much or ill start second guessing everything more than usual. God i feel like im gonna disappoint him so bad. When we meet when we meet when we meet when we meet.

ANYWAY imma post the pics of me now hwhwhwhehehehhehehe

Im gonna start talking about my bsf more. Mmmmmm imma call her blue. Y’all are gonna love hearing about her. The shit she says cracks me tf up.

#🚹 #♠️ #💬