#and was on the cusp of regressing almost immediately

[linkspooky]

Eren and Historia

Eren and Historia have a connection to one another. No, I don’t think they are romantically connect, nor do I believe they are co-conspirators plotting to destroy the world together. However, the narrative is pushing the idea that Eren and HIstoria are somehow connected and continually pushing them next to each other.  Eren kissing Historia’s ring is the trigger for his vision that commits him to the path of destroying the world. Eren uses Historia as a reason to accelerate his plan. Eren confides his plan solely in Historia. The reason  this line is drawn between the two characters is that they are CHARACTER FOILS. Eren and Historia are two people who seem like opposites but they’re actually incredibly similiar to one another. Almost too similiar to ever et along. The extreme similarities between Eren and Historia, and their character foiling underneath the cut. 

1. Historia’s Regression

So I’ve gotten countless asks on my opinion of Historia’s behavior in the final arc. My opinion is that we’re being shown the result of her regression to her pre-uprising arc self. Is this the best writing choice for Historia’s character? I do not know. There are two schools of literary analysis that boil down to “Is the writing good?” or “what is the author trying to say?” and I much prefer to stick to the latter. I think the text is attempting to portray Historia regressing on her character arc, and as a person to mirror Eren’s own regression. 

Everybody is regressing in the final arc. Armin lets his poor self-esteem sabotage his decision making ability like he did in Trost. Mikasa is struggling to find a way to live without Eren and see herself as a person seperate from Eren because of her codependent nature, once again like Trost. Annie wants to pretend that this all has nothing to do with her, like in the female titan arc. Hange can’t make a decision without Erwin around and wants to leave it all up to him even though he’s literally dead. The characters in the final arc are written as still struggling with what we think they should have gotten over with in earlier arcs. Heck, Jean still beats up Reiner over what happened to Marco.

It’s not because after all this time the characters haven’t progressed in their character arcs at all. It’s because the story structure of Attack on Titan is chiastic. The beginning and the end are written to mirror each other. 

Chiastic structure, or chiastic pattern, is a literary technique in narrative motifs and other textual passages. An example of chiastic structure would be two ideas, A and B, together with variants A' and B', being presented as A,B,B',A'.

Sometimes instead of character development being a straight journey from point A to point B, it’s instead more like a helicopter hovering around the point, continually circling it. The character has brief moments of revelation where you think they’ve had their big change only to regress later. Lemme use this example from Tokyo Ghoul to illustrate my idea. 

A character seems to be progressing, and we believe they are, only to regress in the end. I think narratively there is a very strong reason for Isayama using this style of character development. Every single major character is either a child soldier right now just barely on the cusp of adulthood, or they like Levi were child soldiers at one point or another. The adults, few that they are, are all either cast as incapable of acting as strong decisive role models (Hange) or are killed off eventually (Erwin). 

It’s like what Magath expresses in his final words, these children were never allowed to have a normal life because of him. If the narrative is about the evils of using child soldiers on both sides, both the Scouting Corps and Marleyans, then it would make sense that every single character is portrayed as either a child unable to grow up or an adult that has continually failed them. 

What we are being shown is every major character with an arc struggling with being unable to truly grow past who they were as children. Even when given the oppurtunity to grow, they falter with it, because they are child soldiers stunted by their trauma and that’s not an easy thing to overcome. Rather than a straight line we’re shown a circular process. Gabi and Falco are the only characters being shown with fully straight line arcs, but they are also far simpler than the other characters because they are children, and not stunted adults acting like children. Armin is passive, day dreaming, indecisive like he was when he was a child. Mikasa is overly attached to Eren like she was when she was a child. Heck, even Connie’s major flawed decision this arc is wanting his mother to return. Whcih is a symbol of wanting to return to the safety of childhood that he was suddenly and abruptly cut off from. 

Okay, that was a long tangent but I hope I have made my point on what I mean by regression. Eren and Historia are paralleled with each other because they more than anyone else, are regressing to their childhood selves. Where we see at least hints of progress with other characters (Armin, MIkasa, Jean) indication that they will eventually rise to the responsibility of adulthood we see only stagnation for these two characters. It’s because once again Eren and Historia are incredibly similiar as people. Heck, even the fact that they’re regressing the most is paralleled. The same chapter in which Eren declares he’s using the child Ymir’s power to destroy the world, we’re shown a flashback of Historia first and foremost. 

Eren empathizes with little girl Ymir, and Historia was told as a child that she should learn to be like Ymir, always kind and always putting others first. They both see themselves in Ymir and it symbolizes why they are connected, because deep down they are both that powerless little child. 

There are two big connections between Eren and Historia immediately. Number one is that the inciting incident of their trauma is the same. Yes, Historia grew up in a household where she was eteranlly bullied and belittled where Eren grew up fairly love and secured but they both suffer from the same traumatic incident. 

A titan suddenly killed the person who was the symbol of unconditional love and security in their lives, for Eren it was his mother, and for Historia her older sister. In a situaiton where they were completely powerless, they watched a titan kill their security and destroy their home and are rendered homeless children after that point. They both join the titan corps as a way of survival. The reason that Eren is shown encouraging his father to pull the trigger and completely eliminate the Reiss family, is because narratively these two events are supposed to be connected. They’re narrative parallels. Eren suffered the loss of his mother which is the root of his trauma, and then has a hand in inflicting that same trauma on Historia. 

They are two people connected by the nature of their worst trauma and what it did to them. Every time they try to progress as people, they instead regress because what happened then was so fundamanetally damaging it robbed them of the ability to be able to grow up. They will never feel like they have the security that children need in order to grow into adults. 

Historia and Eren are mirror images even in their lives. Eren is an ordinary child given an ordinary childhood. Historia was marked as different from birth and raised as a special person. However, they ended up in relatively the same position. They both regress. The nature of Eren’s regression should be obvious because he’s trying to destroy the world. In essence Eren has remained the same character all throughout, his primary goal was to kill all the titans beyond the walls, it’s just his target that has changed. 

So, let’s focus instead of how Historia has regressed. I will say before I begin though that Eren and Historia regress as opposites. Eren will always choose to be active, even if it means stealing agency from others. Historia will always choose to be passive, even if she has power over others. When they are pushed into a corner by circumstances they fall back on their worst habits and that’s why we see them regress. Externally, they have different mechanisms to handle it. Eren steals agency, Historia gives up agency. Internally, it’s practically for the same reason, because whatever security they have is continually ripped away from them leaving them unable to grow as people. 

So what is Historia’s regression? Basically Historia, like Eren is lacking of a sense of self. Historia has no consistency deep down to show who she is. Even with most of the other characters as childish as they can be have this, Mikasa is overprotective and likes family, Armin is a dreamer who wants to explore the world, Annie is self centered and wants a peaceful life. Eren even comments about this in regards to himself when comparing himself to Eren. Eren centers himself around violence, war, and his hatred. Armin has something else besides fighting, in order to build himself around. Therefore, Eren considers himself lacking as a person in comparison to Armin. Who would Eren be if he wasn’t trying to destroy all the titans? That’s a difficult question to answer. 

Historia is much the same way. Historia builds herself and her self of identity around the roles that other people ask her to play. The little girl Ymir is kind because she always did what others ask of her. Historia is always performing some role for the sake of everybody around her. 

I wouldn’t say that Historia’s arc in Uprising ends on a triumphant note, but rather an ambiguous one. The arcs aren’t lines, they’re circular. Historia even questions herself if she’s moving for the sake of herself or others. 

Here is how I see uprising. Your interpretation might differ. Historia steps out of the role of Krista. Historia, tries to be herself for a moment. At the end of the arc, rather than true liberation Historia chooses to step back into the role of queen. The only slight progress made is that she doesn’t entirely listen to Erwin’s orders. However, even her act of slaying a titan within the wall was a pre-planend action, a performance. It’s just one Historia altered slightly to give herself a more centered role.

If Historia is not someone moving to help others than who is she? We know she’s spunky, angry, etc. etc. but as a character she hasn’t really developed goals or wants and needs outside of that. We continually see her on the brink of that point, but never quite crossing the line. 

Eren and Historia are at the center of their existence very performative people. The reason nobody quite understands Eren is that he’s always putting on an act around other people. 

Eren and HIstoria even doubt the same things in chapter 68. That is to say, they doubt themselves. They doubt if they are really truly people who are capable of moving for themselves. Eren sees himself as someone who has nothing special about him, and therefore doesn’t matter. Deep down he’s always viewed himself as a weak and pathetic person. Historia doesn’t think she’s capable of making decisions for herself. It’s because they’ve been continually made to feel helpless all of their lives, that they doubt themselves to this degree. 

Their response to this is to perform for everyody else around them. Eren si continually performing as this super strong, determined child ready to fight the whole world. Whereas, Historia is performing in the roles that other people give her. She is Krista Lenz. She is the queen Historia Reiss. She is, always, always, always, what other people need her to be. Whereas, Eren performs what he wants to be, which is powerful. 

When Historia and Eren break down it is shown just how deeply similiar they are inside. They become what they continually are made to feel like, helpless children. Eren is constantly boasting about how he is going to kill all the titans, and yet deep down he’s always believed that he was all talk and that for him there was nothing behind those words. 

It’s the same for Historia just in an opposite direction. Historia is constantly talking about helping people, but deep down she doesn’t see herself as a genuinely altruistic person. Not only does she see herself as helpless (therefore incapable of helping people because she can’t help herself) but she sees her motivations for helping people as selfish. 

In the Uprising arc we even see this parallel. I mean I know many people interpret this as Historia’s big moment of independence, which is also a valid interpretation. I’m just giving you my interpretation. I also see this as Historia having a massive mental breakdown in the middle of a crisis moment. When they are pushed to their absolute limits and they can no longer pretend, Historia and Eren both break down and we see what they view themselves as. Eren sees himself as a crying and begging child insignificant, unpowerful, and helpless. Historia sees herself as a selfish child and a bad person. This is also something that reflects their upbringing. Historia was continually made to feel selfish due to being an abused bastard, for wanting even the most basic necessities a child needs like love and security. Eren had his security ripped away suddenly when his mother died and he was at the time, a helpless, crying child only able to watch. 

When Eren breaks down he says the same thing always. Nothing has changed from back then. Nothing has changed from when I saw my mother died. When Historia breaks down she says she can’t live up to the expectations of other people around her. 

Eren and Historia both see themselves as fundamentally unable to change from who they were as children, and that’s why we see them regressing to their most childlike selves here in this final arc. 

2. What is the point of Uprising Arc, then?

I know I read uprising differently from most of the people on this site. However, I’m not saying that Historia didn’t grow in Uprising at all, or even that she doesn’t have a chance to grow. Honestly, I think Uprising does a good job at portraying the complexity of Historia’s character and why it’s really, really hard for her to grow in a straightforward manner. She’s not really the heroine of the story where she defeats the bad guy, and then overcomes her flaw in a dramatic fashion at the end of the arc. 

Okay, so I’m going to try to address how Historia’s arc is still... you know, an arc, even though it doesn’t continue on in a straightforward fashion from Uprising. Uprising isn’t pointless because it shows us the great depth and complexity of HIstoria’s character, and also establishes why it is so hard for her to change. It’s not a straightforward arc, more of a dig into her psyche. Historia steps out of the role, Historia tries to be true self for a moment, Historia steps into another role at the end of the arc. It may seem pointless to read it this way, but I’m going to try to dig in from this point forward to show the complexity that this demonstrates. 

So, like I said Historia is a character who lacks a sense of self. The reason that Eren perceives this of her so strongly that it’s what forges their friendship in this arc is because Eren is the same way. 

Eren picks up on the fact that Historia was always striving to meet the expectations of everyone around her, because Eren is very much the same person. The kill all the titans thing is an act. Everyone around him believes it to such an extent that not a single person, even his closest childhood friends understood him enough until it was too late. 

Eren also tells Historia he sees her as a normal girl, because it’s who Eren wants to be accepted as, but feels like he never can be. Before I go into uprising itself there’s the big inciting events for both of them that lead into where their characters are in the lead up to Uprising. 

Eren and Historia both have a moment with their respective love interests in the prelude to this arc. Historia begs Ymir to come back with her so they can both live on as themselves. Mikasa tells Eren that he doesn’t need to be able to defeat titans, that what he did for her was showing her the small kindness of wrapping her scarf around him that day was enough for her. 

It’s Mikasa and Historia who reach out, but Ymir and Eren both refuse that closeness. Eren chooses to fight, and Ymir chooses to sacrifice herself to Reiner and Bertolt. 

I know a lot of people take issue with this writing choice, but sorry this post isn’t about the quality of the writing, just how it all comes together in the big picture. The point is, Historia and Eren are both offered what they have always wanted which is to live as themselves with a person who loves them for who they are only for it to get them taken away. 

There’s also an interesting irony written in Ymir’s death. Historia has always idealized the path of a martyr. She always thought living a good, selfless, altruistic life is what would earn her the love of her sister. 

Part of the problem is, the only source of love both Eren and Historia has was taken away so suddenly. Historia got the idea in her head, that all love was conditional and she had to act good in order to earn that love because love was never freely given to her. So Historia’s martyr act is a way to earn love. However, Ymir’s choice inflicts upon Historia the pain other people feel when she decides to martyr herself. 

The path of the martyr isn’t a good one, it’s thorny, and wracked with pain. What Ymir does is a genuine act of altruism. She makes a choice out of sympathy for both Reiner and Bertolt who have suffered all their lives just like her, and also  a belief her sacrifice will buy something for HIstoria in the bigger picture. It’s at least partially an altruistic decision, and Historia’s not happy about it at all, she’s downright bitter. Because, Historia isn’t the altruist deep down inside she pretends to be. Historia idealizes self sacrifice and selflessness, but when faced with the harsh reality and consequences of such behavior she realizes this is not what she wants. 

Ymir’s death throws the narrative Historia has always held onto into question, because she’s now the victim of somebody else’s self sacrifice. By killing herself, Ymir has also deprived Historia of her place in the world. Which sends her into self doubt. This moment of reflection is once again where we see the real Historia. 

Eren calls out the fact that Historia is actually very selfish. When she’s not performing goodness, most of her worries and actions are centered around herself. Everyone is out risking her lives, and Historia is kind of busy like “Who am I? Why won’t people love me for the real me?” These questions are selfish because they are focused and centered around the self. Historia is, egocentric in the way a child is, and the way that Eren is, because she doesn’t have a fully developed self. 

Uprising is where we’re shown very clearly that rather than having a centralized sense of self, a goal to focus herself around, all of these things normal characters have Historia is someone who wildly swings between two.

Historia is indecisive on whether or not Krista or Historia constitutes the real her. There is the act that Historia portrays on the surface as someone who always worries about others, and then her history (Gosh, golly gee I wonder why her real name is Historia... obvious symbolism is obvious). The question for HIstoria is which one she should let efine her, is she defined by the trauma she accumulated by being born into this world, or the person she wants to be. Historia’s failure to reconcile herself between the two extremes is what results in her behavior, as swinging back and forth between both.

I don’t believe that the point of uprising is to show Historia finally reconciling these two, but rather to show her wildly swinging between the two. HIstoria is someone who wildly swings between great feats of selfishness and selflessness.

We are given several hints of Historia’s progress in this arc, but also several unhealthy signs of her back sliding. For exmaple there’s the scene where Levi infamously bullies Historia into calling herself the queen.  One this scene fundamentally demosntrates what Historia’s problem is, she can’t make decisions or act for herself because she doesn’t really know what she wants. 

And when Levi beats her up and pushes her, she decides to perform again. Now the question is if you see the final climactic scene of Uprising as her triumphantly overcoming this cycle or falling back into it. My interpretation is that it portrays the swinging between. 

HIstoria, confronted with the feelings of insecurity she’s had since childhood unable to feel consistently loved or that she was even worthy of love is about to fall back on her mechanism of total and complete selflessness. Believing that her self sacrifice will at least mean she was a good person that meant something to the world, that her self sacrifice will earn her something. The reason that Eren yells I’M NOT NECESSARY is it’s because what their trauma made them feel like, and deep down what they’re afraid of hearing. 

Historia first appears entirely passive and selfless, then she takes an active role and screams she’s the worst girl on earth and she’d rather let the whole world die than sacrifice one person. Her response isn’t to reconcile these two entirely divergent selves, but rather we’re being shown her flipping between them. 

Historia declares one moment she doesn’t care about the rest of the world they can all die, and the next moment she says that if there’s a crying child she will always help. What we see is not a reconciliation so much but rather a flipping between, because it’s Historia’s tendency to swing back and forth between the two. 

Here’s my defense of my point. Uprising ends on an ambiguous note. As I’ve said above uprising doesn’t end on Historia becoming her full realized self, but rather wondering if she’s become her full realized self. 

Not only that but everything that seems like it was forward progress initially in uprising becomes undone later. Erwin is freed in Uprising, Erwin dies the next arc. Eren says he doesn’t need to become a special person to change the world, Eren is back on his bullshit by the time skip. The uprising puts the good guys in charge of the government and so now the government is no longer an obstacle to the path of saving humanity. The Jaegerists come take over in a second uprising, and the government becomes an obstacle once more. Even the decision they made to never feed Historia to a titan in order to sacrifice the world, is something the main characters go back on as they debate on whether or not to have her eat Zeke. Everything that seems like it’s forward progress becomes undone.

So why would Historia’s arc not become undone, too? This isn’t a question of quality of the writing. If you think this is a bad writing decisoin you’re completely valid I just am trying to remind you this isn’t the place to have that discussion. The deicsion to regress however, portrays the conflicts the characters are dealing with as cyclical ones. My argument is that as a whole Attack on Titan is being written as a cyclical story where characters circle. 

Eren and Historia are just the two biggest contenders of this regression. Which is why we see them conspiring together in this the final arc. (Yes there is a problem with Historia being mainly offscreened) however narratively the decisions we are shown Historia making in this arc are all passive ones. Also ones meant to pacify the people around her. 

Eren will always choose to be the activest character he possibly can, and to take agency even if it means stealing it from others. Historia will always choose to be passive, and will give up agency even if it means people steal things away from her.  

We are kept mostly out of Historia’s head. We are also kept mostly out of Eren’s head. What we are being shown recently though is a continuation of what we witnessed in uprising. Uprising ended with the question of if Historia is Krista Lenz, or Historia Reiss unresolved. 

This scene is Eren browbeating Historia into submission so she’ll go along with this plan. However, for HIstoria it’s also a confrontation with both sides of herself that she has shown to other people. Eren is basically telling HIstoria there are two wildly different hers, there is the Historia who would sacrifice herself, and the Historia who would say fuck the entire world she’s not sacrificing herself even if it makes herself the enemy of humanity. 

My argument is that the story has gone to great length to portray that to some extent, both of these HIstorias are real. Historia is someone who swings between wild feats of selfness and selfishness. Historia can say both of these things and mean them, that she wants to sacrifice herself for the sake of the world, fuck the world she wants to be herself. 

The same way Eren can imprison his friends, tell Mikasa she’s a slave, tell Armin he’s useless and that he’s despised both of them always, and also believes that he’s doing all of this for the love of his friends. Eren can say both and mean both, because he also does this inconsistent swinging back and forth. 

The foiling between the two of them shows how utterly broken Eren and Historia are as people due to the neglect they faced as children. It’s not actually a question of whether they are good or bad people. (Though Eren, is a jerk). It’s to show how unhealthy these mechanisms are. They mechanisms they rely on to survive, do not allow them to grow or develop all the way as people so they remain stunted. Historia is still in an incredibly unhealthy and precarious position in regards to her identity. Eren’s mechanism is to take agency, Historia’s is to give it up, the result however is the same between the both of them.

We see Historia make a choice. In all fairness we don’t know what that choice is. However, we also know what she didn’t choose. She knew what Eren was going to run off and do, and what he was planning, and she didn’t stop him. 

Another important part of the final arc is showing how everybody else’s decisions also led to Eren doing what he did. Armin’s choice to never confront Eren’s real self turned him into Eren’s enabler. Mikasa’s inability to try to live without Eren, made her completely unable to see this coming. The scout corps in general was unable to stop Eren, because they didn’t understand him. Historia also made a choice to enable the situation to happen in some way, because she didn’t choose to just... tell somebody else what Eren was planning, or stop it. 

While yes, she may be trying to stop it all on her own. It’s still a choice she made that’s frighteningly similiar to the choices Eren has been making all along. That is the choice not to trust people, the choice not to openly communicate what she inteded, the choice to instead go off on her own and try to solve everything by herself. 

That’s also the choice she always makes when backed up against a wall, and therefore it’s a sign of regression. I don’t think Historia is conspiring with Eren or even agrees with him. However, I do think she has made a similiar choice as Eren which is to try and attempt to solve everything on her own without trusting the others which is why we’re seeing her get so much foiling with Eren in this the final arc. 

Historia will overcome this regression when rather than swinging between Historia Reiss, and Krista Lenz, that she is both, and always has been both. You are who you are deep down inside. You are also who you pretend to be. The choice to show Historia’s wavering between makes her arc longer, difficult, more frustrating, but it also shows how hard it is for Historia. 

It shows the struggle of someone like Historia with lifelong trauma. How hard it is for her, not to be a queen, or a good girl. How fundamentally, it’s difficult for her to even juts be a normal person. And how in the end that’s what she is fighting for, to rediscover herself as a normal girl once more after being denied that by the environment around her her entire life. Historia too, can be a normal girl in the face of all that trauma. 

#historia reiss #eren jaeger #aot meta #attack on titan #attack on titan meta #attack on titan theory #eren meta

[kaoru-takaida]

The Promised Day... Has Come...

Kaoru and Hope find Tius seated right outside the room. They are exiting the room where the Scions lay slumbering, locked in a sleep with no souls in their bodies. The Warriors of Light all exchange glances as Krile exits as well. She shakes her head. "I'm afraid their conditions all remain the same without any signs of ceasing." Krile looks to the floor. "Tataru's plea should now become your priority. With all of this happening and on the cusp of another war, we'll need the Scions at their best and brightest if we are to take on any threat."

Hope nods. "We'll have no choice but to accept the stranger's words and go to the Crystal Tower..."

Kaoru swallows hard. No doubt recounting the events that transpired there and how broken she was when the adventure had ended the way that it did. With G'raha Tia closing the gates and with no idea if they'll ever see each other again. "But the Tower gates remain sealed, with the only means of opening them locked away inside. How are we to get inside with no way of opening the gates?"

Tius thinks a moment. "Maybe we'll see when we get there? He said at the base of the Crystal Tower, right?" They all nod. "At least we can go check it out tomorrow once the research team has wrapped up."

They all grow silent. Krile sighs. "I'm sure you don't need anymore bad news, but there is something else..." They all look down at her. She purses her eyebrows, a deep concerned look forming on her face. "I have a strange feeling about this next adventure you'll all be embarking on... I'm sure you all feel it too." The three of them don't say anything. "We can assume it's an occurrence between those with the Echo. But I fear only that this feeling is a darkness. With naught but a struggle and suffering." Krile takes Kaoru's hand and then Hope's. "Please. Promise me you'll all stay together. No matter what happens, you'll remain with each other." Kaoru's ears drop backwards a bit. Krile tugs on her hand slightly. "Promise me! For our comrades sakes!"

Kaoru sighs. "Alright."

Tius gives Krile a halfhearted smile. "Yeah. I promise, Krile."

Hope nods. "Me, too."

Hope sips on her glass of water. Tius walks out from the Scions' room. "She's at it again." Tius says. Hope looks up from her journal. "She just sits there. Alone with her thoughts..."

Hope sighs. "It's not healthy. But I can understand why." Hope scoffs. "The only reason why that's not me right now is because I believe I'll be more help to them doing stuff elsewhere."

Tius sits down at the table next to her. "I'm worried she might be regressing."

Hope cocked an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Tius sighs. "Whenever the twins have been in trouble, she spirals out of control..." He laughs. "The Fantasia potion thing was just a joke. But she didn't even attempt to change back yet." He shakes his head. "Normally, she'd have done it right away. But it's been nearly a moon."

Hope chuckles. "Prank or no, that was still a bit much even for you." Hope's smile fades. "But I guess, like I said, I can relate." She looks down at her hands. "Lately, I miss just hearing his voice. Seeing his smile. Hells, even his cologne." Hope shakes her head. "Knowing that he'll be this way tomorrow kills me inside. I just wanna walk into that room and see him up and his eyes open."

"It must be just as hard for her too since she's been with them almost their entire lives." Tius says. "They all have a bond that I won't be able to compete with."

They both sit in a moment of silence. "They'll wake up. We'll see them again soon. I know it." Tius nods. "When we do, we all get to gang up on Alphinaud for leaving just to be called and then air mailed back to us by Gaius of all people." Tius laughs

"I second that. I'll join in on that just for how much he worried you and Alisaie." He chuckled again. "And Kaoru." Tius crosses his arms. "If I remember correctly, didn't Arenvald promise to throw him into the pond at Rhalgar's?"

Hope immediately blushed. "I thought he was joking!"

Tius shakes his head. "Nah, he told me just the other day that he was serious." Tius laughs. "I should help him." He gives her a knowing grin. Almost taunting.

Hope pulls her hair behind her ear. "Sh-Shut up~." She tells him, her face red and her pretending to go back to her journal. Tius laughs once more and sighs, giving her a genuine smile. "Anyway, Kaoru and I had some plans on our next expedition. Wanna go over them with me?"

"Sure!"

The two of them begin discussing strategies and the plans for the future.

Meanwhile, in the room next door, Kaoru sits in a heavy, eerily silence. She stares between the twins faces. A strange seething and unsettling feeling lingering. She can't take this anymore. The waiting... The helplessness. And feeling useless. She scowls. A dark and furious look snapping into her eyes.

She stands up from her seat. "If this is all I'm capable... then confound it..." She walks in between the twins' beds. She leans onto Alphinaud's bed, and kisses his forehead. She then stands up and sits on Alisaie's bed before leaning over her too, and kissing her cheek. She takes Alisaie's head into her hands. "I'm coming for you... I promised you." She stands one last time. "If this is to be... then so be it..." She strides over to the door. "I'll do whatever it takes..." She says, opening the door and leaving the room. "No matter what it costs me..."

Hope wakes up to Tius shaking her. "Hope! Wake up!!!" Tius shouts. She yawns. "Kaoru's gone! She left!"

Hope scowls, rubbing her eyes. "What?" She asks, blinking her amethyst eyes. "What do you mean she left?"

"I mean just that! She left her clothes behind and took some clothes from the Scion's storage. Now she's no where to be seen!" Hope stood up quickly from her spot at the table. She had guessed they'd both fallen asleep there. The candle at the table had burned low and dim and the Tavern was dark. But she could see Tius's worried face clearly. "I think she left to the Crystal Tower without us!"

Hope scowls. "Gear up... We'll need to head to Saint Coinach..." Hope scoffs. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

The Hyur and the Mi'quote both walk towards the door...

UNAWARE OF THE NEW ADVENTURE AND ORDEAL THAT WAS AWAITING THEM AT THE CRYSTAL TOWER...

Thank you for reading, featuring @louderthanthedj

See you all in Shadowbringers...

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ff14 #kaoru takaida #tius mason #hope gallant #alphinaud leveilleur #alphinaud #alisaie leveilleur #alisaie #my little prince #ffxiv rp #my heart cant handle it #ffxiv fanfic #my little princess #ff14 rp #alisaie and alphinaud leveilleur #ffxiv fanfiction #shadowbringers #final fantasy fanfiction #final fantasy 14 rp #final fantasy xiv rp #ff14 roleplay #krile mayer baldesion #krile

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Self, Worth, Gemini & the Hunt

House XII Cusp

TAURUS 1 A red garnet ring. The garnets glow. A passion for bearing ripe fruits. Feeling transported by an ongoing realization that you are in your own element, doing what you need to do and subtly fired by an inner purpose that clarifies everything. The glow of your central intent warms you through. This quality of soul is simple and direct. It makes for a primal, elemental presence. One cannot grasp complex matters in this sphere. But you know what you need to know, and you're on the beam so palpably that nothing much matters except being there. You distinctly charge the atmosphere with a pranic renewal, a source sustenance, and the whole idea is to make way for the universal life-force to stream right in and bless with its all-forgiving radiance. 

Sun XII

TAURUS 3 A sleepwalker. Everything begins with an inward cast, and then if you wish to get anywhere you must go there on the inside and meet yourself there when you arrive. You feel a desire to memorize the territory of all the inner ways--to remember them, to recognize them and to be able to follow them when it counts. You feel like you've been taught in the dream state, shown everything in dreamless sleep and through dreams. You're subtly and pervasively closely accompanied by a protective guiding spirit. Held within the soul's alembic. Entrusted to the angels. Living in threshold sensitivity, attuned to the edge. Led by the spirit through darkness into light. Subliminal, enchanted, anxious, and at peace. Always searching for something more. Remembering in your soul the lost Earth ways and giving over to spirits, you belong to the infinite and wander through the finite worlds. You are like a stranger, knowing something else is at stake here. Something else is going on here. Something else is completely involved.

ASC - GEMINI 11 A stag with golden horns. Staying tuned in for further developments. You bear an expanded capacity for future vision and for picking up on the most fantastic things. Given to sunbursts of revelation or inward remembrance. Often attempting to make light of this extradimensional quality. But then there are times when it just becomes irresistible. You can only keep the light at bay so long. For here you are innately gifted with a wild array of powers and multisensory treasures, to grow into and share lavishly. The primary lesson involved lies in taking seriously and to heart what instinctively seems so natural and free and prodigal that it is just always there. When you focus and distill this cosmic awareness into something firm and clean and steady on, nobody will be able to deny that dazzling things are right here, illuminating all the missing places and restoring wholeness, just like that.

Venus -  GEMINI 14 A sorcerer materializes an amethyst cross. Laws are made to be broken. Limitations are kept in place so that those who are not ready to go through radical changes in evolution will be able to locate themselves. But then there are those who cut through every limitation, break every law by the sheer power of their inner gaze, their presence, their magical will. When they cut loose, worlds that have been kept apart flood together. This is a force of awareness that seeks to bridge, to mediate, to connect, to bear messages back and forth. A mission or great task is involved: to let the future flood through and repolarize the fractured world toward wholeness. A sensibility made up of equal parts daring and skill. The daring is afraid of nothing and nobody; the skill embodies the daring in action. A perfect combination to catalyze and spark and make inevitable the cosmic forces bringing their imprint to bear upon the outer physical existence, just as though that is what we do around here and "why not?"

Vesta - GEMINI 15 People gathering salt from the ocean. There is a universal sourcespring of renewed life-forces and reawakened expanded awareness, which is on tap for those who venture there. Most characteristic of this vast realm is its common ground, free access, and broad representation. You are everybody at once converging toward sisterhood and brotherhood. The sudden, drastic, and astounding universal lifestream toward the future being there, just like that. Serendipity and chance. Fortune and synchronicity. The hundredth monkey comes to town. The only thing asked is to make way--to cast off the outer covering of separative identity and to open the path and let it flow. However, this is so easy and natural you can pass it right by and miss the chance. It takes an urgent call and a trick of destiny to reveal that as close as can be, open doors to the infinite are waiting for those who can drop the disguise and come to the party as they truly are.

II House Cusp

CANCER 5 A trap door under a rug. Getting lost and getting found. Shadowed by self all the way. Sent upon a cycle of radical externalization and almost being able to pull it off. Yet you are shadowed, haunted, bugged, and sabotaged by the strangest things. Fate speaks loud and clear and says, "You are doing all this for a purpose, and your expression is pushing so far outward for good reason. But you must remember, get sobered and humbled, be tripped up by what you don't see and won't let yourself feel." Superstitious and peripherally aware of just about everything. Concentrated upon self-intent with ferocious striving insistency. Needing to accomplish concrete external goals and needing to find them to be no longer enough. Pursuing yourself beyond the immediate drama so that soul can restore wholeness, just where persona gets swept away by how easy and natural it is to fill your world with your own ideas and sensibility.

Mars - CANCER 12 Carefully a surgeon begins the dissection of a corpse. The analytical intellect takes as its special province the after image, the recapitulative view. Second-guessing yourself, criticizing, cutting things up. You are expertly skillful at showing things the way they are on the surface--an extraordinary genius in this domain can evolve. Cooling off partisan sentiment and getting at what is there. Devoid of idealistic projections. Sticking to the facts. Designing life as an experiment in which you must pay very close attention and miss nothing. heart is cut out, the human element is eliminated. Is it an advance or a regressive loop? Do some things just have to be this way? Is the world a stark and barren place to be? And is there a path directly under this icy intellect to recover the soul in things to the mind's satisfaction and the spirit's release?

Chiron - CANCER 22 Bunches of watercress growing by a cool spring. Spacious. Making room for worlds to be born, new life to arise, the fount of existence to be tapped, the center of things to become vital again. A global sensibility, a universal dream, a brotherhood/sisterhood vision to repopulate the world with vital, fresh beings, to find the place inside that is sustaining and renewing and to give it forth abundantly. A certain spirit of destiny breakthroughs--something different previously unsuspected. Diving for the eternal waters, and here they are if they are called in at full power. The one given the task to refocus the shared aspiration to bring us all together. You have an utterly engaging quality that cannot be denied once it fully arises, with the most memorable of touches and looks. The presence of the Great Goddess force at every level, accessible if dreamed up and invited in. The cracking through at the peak time and place. All is revitalized. Everything forgotten comes on the spiral to the next octave and is released into the celebration of being.

III House Cusp - 

CANCER 27 A woman giving birth to twins. Moving one way and moving another way at the same time, in the same breath, day in and day out. Inwardly compelled to take hold of given pairs of opposites and to work them by going into both and finding out how and where and why both cannot be refused, insist on being met. Captivated by your life predicament. Always seeing contradictory sides that in some ways cancel each other out. But also unfolding in multiple directions and truly born with a split karma. You have little choice but to cover all the bases, check everything out and play through each and every side of the situation. Consciously identifying with one thing at a time, but subconsciously absorbed in the other thing consistently. Prone to self-sabotage and searching for a lost path through which you can bring the polarities together, serve the whole, and yet be free within the serving and be unattached, just there to let it all come through, without making anything a burden or a self-blaming focus. The charge is removed when the opposites find each other again, and fanaticisms give way to the universal good met integrally.

Jupiter - LEO 5 A seemingly young man, but with gray hair. When different sides of the soul have developed to drastically different points, you become a strange mix, a hybrid brew. Simultaneously ancient with wisdom and vibrant with youth at best, or perhaps at once aging rapidly and still unformed. Those facets that are older and wiser have developed a greater mode of perception over long cycles of time. Those facets that remain young and unformed have not kept up with the greater awareness in the personal expression and embodiment. Therefore your knowingness is advanced, yet your performance is as a novice. The hardest part is to accept and embrace yourself as you are and to forgive and transmute what sometimes seems like a lack of courage and individual strength under fire. The only way this combination can become integrated is if the advanced witness acknowledges the unconditional value and intentions of the fledgling personal one who will flourish and start to catch up if loved and fostered. Your own inner self is the central benefactor, the one who can say "Yes," and bring life forth abundantly.

IV House Cusp 

LEO 22 An alligator swims slowly through a swamp. Imperious self-command. The self, entirely conscious of its own territorial rights and privileges, exerts a presence, a force. Saturating the atmosphere with one's love, light, and intensity. Big and bright, deep and formidable. So very purposive that your every breath is conceived to be part of the master plan. Grandiose and inflated, yet into something so essential that it is very difficult to go against. It is the ingrained aura of spiritual authority and cosmic intent, linked with the heights, seeping into the depths. You become so enduring and insistent that others back out of the picture. Graphic demonstration of being here now in your element, doing what you need to do. Sinuous, suggestive, sensuous, and somewhat prone to pushing it a bit. The inner light upheld at the cost of any and all extraneous factors.

Pallas - VIRGO 6 A banyan tree that creates an entire forest. A towering stature. Containing within yourself a vast creative force that can fill the world with its diverse and multiplex awareness. You have a graphic ability to evoke, to capture, to epitomize a realm, a world, to draw it forth, to highlight it. And this then extends into many others, such that the illumination, the fresh angle is sharply relevant and universally resonant. Experiencing for yourself the wisdom of the ages, proving it out afresh by experimentation and open discovery. Piercing to the core with your fluent presence in this world. Saying in so many different ways "Here it is, here it is again. I have found it over here"--the living proof that nature is totally alive, that the creative power is everywhere, and that all of it yearns to be given voice, to be celebrated, to be acknowledged by one who can reach to the vasts and penetrate to the details and make macrocosm and microcosm one.

Moon - VIRGO 15 A man inherits a vast fortune. Aristocracy takes many forms. Whether by karmic predisposition or by bloodline or both, being granted the ultimate pedigree for serving effectively. Those who have ruled can serve. Those who have mastered can give themselves over. Those who have attained can extract the essence of what they have come to before and utterly discard the rest. Showered with blessings. Filled to overflowing with the streams of your background, you are yet definitely motivated to use all this as a springboard and not to lean back on it. You feel the impulse to renew gifts, treasures and mysteries--to revitalize the old streams, to make relevant and essential what has previously proven to be steady and enduring. And most of all, endowed with a fluency in drawing from the well something fresh and new, and being so at home in bringing it all through that you become an individual here in the midst of things, who just happens to know and be familiar with just about anything you need to access from the well that never runs dry.