#and yes I knoe oprah is ehhh but that gif is the exact feeling I felt seeing a clean quiet street upon going out front

[safyresky]

I'm not sure I've told you guys about my trashy neighbours, but I'm gonna tell you now bc I've been living in the spare bedroom at the back of the house which has the perfect view of their porch where they hang out being trashy, and, when the window is open, surround sound of whatever the shit they're going on about, and was just woken up by their bs!

Some quick notes for y'all on their general nature:

There's three of them; trashy woman (we call her trashy trish), her partner who is ur stereotypical bad sitcom hubby to match her bad sitcom wife vibes, and a third girl who is ?????? Related??? To them??? I think???

Wife likes to smoke sitting on her porch and glare in our general direction

Two winters ago they came charging at me while I was shovelling the snow, mad because I had APPARENTLY blocked their driveway while shovelling my snow over to the snow bank across the street bc there's no space for snowbanks on our side

Trashy wife was like "I'VE GOT PICTURES OF YOU DOIN IT!! I'LL CALL THE COPS!!" then proceeded to trip and fall and roll like a potato on a patch of ice (a story for another time)

It was amazing

The husband recently traded in his car for a honda civic with a loud ass muffler

He enjoys revving the engine on purpose and doing burnouts in the street, also on purpose

Called it a "civ" when his work friends came over to help him "work" on said civ

"hey man let me show you how a CIV does it"

(I'm not sure if those words are HAUNTING me or living rent free in my brain tbh)

he then proceeds to do a burnout so nasty the house smelt like burnt rubber for five minutes after

Got so annoyed at their upstairs neighbour for helping my neighbour with her driveway, because she was parking in it, that same winter the potato roll took place, that they were horrible enough to her that she moved out

Their reasoning for being mad about it: she wasn't helping with THEIR driveway even though she wasn't using it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Third girl has a boo thang who drives a smart car and ALWAYS PARKS IT THE WRONG WAY ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROAD

So that's a quick round up of their best moments to preface what I just woke up to!

I live in a university town, and unfortunately the kids in this town like to celebrate something called FOCO, which is short for FAKE homecoming. The reason why it existed was for students from years ago when HOCO was banned. However, HOCO has been back for years at this point, but when the students came back after a year and or two of being remote, they were RAVENOUS for parties and seemingly brought it back even tho it was totally unnecessary.

This weekend is "FOCO". Next weekend is "HOCO". There is no football game next weekend which defeats the purpose of HOCO. The alumni are supposed to come back and watch a game and bond with current students, but when there's no football game (american football) it's like ??? Tf???

Anyway for a FOCO weekend, it's been relatively quiet--probably bc most people are sick with various flus and ronas, if the pharmacy shelves yesterday were anything to go off of. And on the school sub, anytime someone asked about foco about 8 to 10 users replied "foco is stupid, just let it die". It seems to be getting a bit loud next door now though, and apparently across the street at trashy Trisha's place.

I was asleep trying to fight a potentially covid induced headache (came up negative Thursday night, but my fiance was positive so I'm sure it's only a matter of time) when I am awoken to a crude rendition of Trashy Trisha's Greatest Hits, ft the not so soothing background vocals of her Cuckold Husband and Girl-Who-May-Be-Related-To-Them. Featuring songs we know and love such as:

FUCKING UNI LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER

YEAH YOU BETTER RUN YOU PIECE OF SHIT STUDENT

GOD I FUCKING HATE STUDENTS

FUCKING UNI CLOTHES WEARING TWINK

And so on and so on.

In my sleepy headache induced haze I perk up, and surmise this from the screeching across the way: a group of students were walking and decided to smash a mirror to pieces. Trashy Trish saw them and rallied her troops, and all three of them were shouting and yelling at the students who had the misfortune of being seen by the grumpiest woman on the street. Shouts of I SAW YA followed by YEAHHHHHS from her two satellites has me feeling like I'm listening to Myrtle Lilo and Stitch go off about some shit while her croonies go YEAHHHHHHHHH beside her. Where's Lilo with her fists of fury when you need them, eh?

Anyway they run off to the building across the street, which they have the misfortune of living in, and Trashy Trish is screeching like something that screeches, and her Cuckold Hubbers hops into the sedan (not the civ) and GUNS IT down the street to get a better look at these three kids who simply gave in to a destructive need while under the influence, as do we all at one point (sometimes even without influence. Destruction is FUN).

He races back like he's the fucking block captain or some shit and confirms that it's three kids and they're wearing this and that and Trashy Trish is like IM GONNA CALL THE COPS ON THEM ALL and I'm like good fucking luck bc the last time we did that after seeing which apartment stole the stop sign, the cops didn't do shit lmao.

Anyway, I rolled out of bed to check on the fiance and went downstairs to water the plants I put outside again bc the weekend is going to be VERY WARM, and guess what I didn't see?

The smashed up mirror Trashy Trish was so hopped up about.

#and that's that on that lads #trashy trish #dani speaks #dani lives in a questionable area #in case anyone is wondering: fiance is doing better today! #he's not as sore and fatigued. just coughing and sneezing and snots #and headachy as well. I've had a headache for about 2 days now and today it's SPICEY #but have yet to test positive! #I'd update you all on if she called the cops but alas. i shut the windows #bc between her yelling and our neighbours two doors down having a shouting match over games #our poor headaches can't take it #long post #and yes I knoe oprah is ehhh but that gif is the exact feeling I felt seeing a clean quiet street upon going out front