#anyway prayers would be appreciated

[sailforvalinor]

…well, turns out changing to a Jo pfp is fitting in more ways than one.

#yeah turns out I’m going to be having a Jo and Laurie on the Hill moment. hopefully not to such a dramatic degree but #I went out with The Boy yesterday and I was dreading it so much #and it was fine but then at the end he asked if we could make it official that we were dating #and I asked him to give me a little bit of time to think (which he was super sweet about he did literally nothing wrong) #but yeah I just came to the conclusion within ten seconds of leaving the restaurant that it wasn’t going to work. like I felt nothing when #he asked me that question. and I wanted this to work so bad! it makes so much sense on paper but I’m just not feeling it #and I talked to my dad about it and he said that because the part of the brain that processes emotions is not connected to the part that #processes language aren’t connected that people who are married struggle to put into words why they married their spouse #so if I can’t put into words why I don’t want to date this guy it’s perfectly valid #and I suppose he’s right I just feel terrible about it. like how often do you find a guy this courteous and genuinely good? and like I #think maybe part of what’s bothering me was that there was almost no romance to this. like never at any point did he tell me that he even #liked me. it was just ‘hey we’ve hung out a few times now should we say we’re dating?’ and I’m not trying to rag on him he’s probably just #shy but it rang a little like a business proposition to me #but ugh. now I have to call (because I’m not going to do it over text) and break this poor boy’s heart #it’s a really good thing I have the play and my novel to distract me otherwise I’d be a mess #anyway prayers would be appreciated

[thebirdandhersong]

breaking the tumblr fast to ask for prayer :') it is currently the WORST of times (though, in intense joyous flashes, occasionally also the best of times). I am bulldozing my way through the dregs of midterms, final exam prep, graduation plans, job applications, dorm volunteer stuff, all while trying to deal with/reckon with/endure/come to terms with/persevere through literally the deepest emotional pain I've ever been in lol

#is this the price you pay for consciously deciding to keep your heart open and vulnerable to both joy and pain ??? !!!!!! #anyway it is not always misery but the miserable parts make my chest physically hurt :-) which is fun #would deeply deeply appreciate prayer my friends! i do not want to graduate as a jaded tired weeping girl! and i am so tired! #the world is so big and i am so small and i did not think i had it in me to be so sad but i AM #it would take too long to explain but suffice it to say i've never wept for two hours straight before but now that i have #i must tell you that it is not a good time. at all. #i love you and i miss you and i am doing my best :'))))))) I AM DOING MY BEST!!!!!

[itspileofgoodthings]

sometimes you overstay your welcome in a place but it’s okay life is not about a perfect scorecard of vibes

#this doesn’t make sense I’ve just been struggling with this SO much this week #just so in my head?? about me not being wanted in certain spaces #or like. I used to be Somebody but I am not anymore #and I think it’s all made up in my head. #which doesn’t make it hurt less. But I do think I need to let it go #anyway I am struggling a lot this week. the loneliness has been so intense #but in that gray way where you almost don’t even know it’s happening to you #until you say it. which is why I’m saying it! anyway I’m just rambling. I would appreciate a prayer if you have a sec #but it’s okay if you don’t have the energy #Thank you for listening regardless #<3

[feliz-navidad]

vent post in tags

#have i developed a fear of going to bed? #i do not fear sleep #i just fear the agony of insomnia because that means more time for intrusive thoughts and loneliness #and i want to call my friends and be like 'long distance sleepover lol' #but at the same time #i know i can't ALWAYS do that or expect that from others #but i just.... don't want to spend nights alone anymore #I do read my Bible and practice devotionals and I do have good nights but sometimes it's just.... there are times when things get bad #anyway if any mutuals know how to counteract insomnia without drugs i would really appreciate the advice #part of me is also just begging God to bring me someone who will stay up all night with me #even just once #i don't even really pay attention to the plotline of Big Bang Theory but when mom turned it off tonight and said 'I'm gonna go to bed' #and left me alone in the living room i had to fight the urge to cry #it's just #i needed to say this #i don't expect anyone to message me but please at least keep me in your prayers because this has been going on for months and I don't want #to be silent about it anymore

[archiveofyearning]

.

#i rly didn’t want to start therapy again bc I’ve had many bad therapy experiences in the past #and i’m also ashamed and terrified of what might come up bc i know there are many things i have been actively avoiding #which i know is precisely the reason why i should be doing it but #i just feel like it will bring up so much that i’ll feel a lot worse before i feel better and idk if i’m in the right state for that now #but i also feel like i’m reaching a breaking point and if i don’t seek help now i’ll end up ruining so many of my relationships #and disappointing so many people. not to mention that i’ve been slipping more and more at work every day #and the pressure to be absolutely perfect at it at all times never goes away #anyway. all this to say that i think i have to do it but i’m rly afraid #so would appreciate some love and prayers

[dawningofdrag]

i am alive. which one of u fuckers was gonna tell me sapphic rejection was going to drive u to the brink of insanity

#like its. different #i have not girl rotted in my room like that in my life i feel like im 16 again #I COULD NOT GET OUT OF BEDDD LIKE THATS SO BAD. THATS CRAZY. #anyway i am still In Mourning your thoughts and prayers would be much appreciated #ella talks too much

[exercise-of-trust]

hey fellas i just opened my word processor and stared blankly at my screen for 15 minutes by the clock. so. barring miracles sighs n shadows is not gonna be updating this week. possibly also not next week either. up until now i have been pretending i'm not really in crisis mode as a sorta fake-it-'til-you-make-it if-i-don't-look-at-it-it's-not-there hack, but i think we have finally reached the limits of that approach, so. sorry about the wait see y'all in a bit i guess

#by barring miracles i do mean miracles; if you are of a praying disposition i would appreciate prayer. ain't nothin' else fixin' this shit. #(dog's been real fuckin sick the past couple weeks. plus a whole lotta other shit but that's what's been taking it out of me the most.) #anyway. i simply lack the wherewithal to be writing anymore. it'll come back when it comes back i guess 🙃 #until then i will be watching a lot of d20 and doing a lot of knitting and generally turning my brain Fully The Fuck Off whenever possible #(rejoice in the lord always but if you can't make your rejoicing from scratch then storebought dnd comedy is fine)

[muslim-flint]

i have two job offers that are right in my field and like. i Know im competent. i know. so tell me why im shaking and wanna run away from that fuckign phone interview tomorrow when it could lead to earning So Much Money doing smthg i love

#like literally im on the verge of full blown Panic. GIRL u've been waiting for this job interview for WEEKS TF 😭😭😭😭 #and like kheir bi idhnillah anyway yknow like if its good for me! then may Allah open the path for it! if not may it stay away from me! #its that simple. so perhaps anxiety could take a whole step back for this one time and let me do my mfing thing #and like. if i get the job and it sucks. i can always leave <3 #skfjkdjds repeating those affirmations while gripping the sink (=writing tumblr posts) #anywaaaaayyyy if yall could spare a thought or prayer for my interview to go well. i would in fact appreciate it #rizcore

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

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#very long car ride tomorrow to drive up to my university campus with my dad #for another visit #I’ve only visited campus one time in-person and he’s never been so I figured it would be a good idea to go once more #and this time I’ll actually get to spend a night in the dorms! #hopefully the drive will be straightforward and nothing too dramatic will happen 😅 #and hopefully the visit to campus will go well too! #anyway if anyone wants to say a prayer for the traveling or just think of me tomorrow that would be really nice and I’d appreciate it!! :)

[dimsilver]

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#personal update on the guy: #we are dating :) #I went through a few days of intense anxiety because I think he is a lot more certain than I am #but then I was able to finally communicate that well and also tell him that I’m happy with things so far #and then we made it official #and I am much more peaceful now #we have met (most of) each other’s families and that went well #still mostly long distance :( but that’s okay #honestly would appreciate prayer for continued peace and wisdom as I officially begin this relationship #[it’s my first and sometimes I psych myself out] #but he is wonderful and I know that right now I am in the right place doing the right thing #also it’s really really nice to have the relationship more defined after months of talking daily #I feel more comfortable communicating directly and telling him things that I appreciate about him #and so does he ☺️ #anyway thanks for reading this and being invested in my life #that’s it I’m done goodbye #victor tag

[bluesidedown]

....

#thinking through a hard decision. both options are gonna be painful in different ways. #idk what to do. I'm also scared i do know what to do and just don’t want to do it. #anyway would appreciate prayer that i can make this choice out of love not fear #and that i can communicate clearly throughout this process

[thebirdandhersong]

btw in case you're wondering if, after reaching adulthood, you finally escape the horrible pain of always being picked last for sports/games: unfortunately, it does still happen, and it still hurts as much as it did when you were a kid

#did i cry about it? i am embarrassed to say yes #listen. i know i'm short and slow and don't know how to play most sports #but still. #also i may be used to this #but being the last to be chosen means you're not chosen at all because you're automatically part of the team #that didn't choose you either. so there's that! #anyway you guys everything feels really heavy right now and so something as small as this feels like so much #i couldn't help for a little moment thinking. well y'all SAY you like me and want me around. but clearly none of you wanted me on your team #not a single one of you! what's up with that!!!! #and i understand that i really do. i'm not aggressive or intimidating on the field. but the point still stands #anyway that is something i would like prayer for. even though community building IS going well #and there ARE bright spots #but the general feeling of this season is feeling unwanted and undesirable and in some capacity unlovable #so would really appreciate prayer in the larger as well as the smaller things #the small things like this accumulate SO quickly and i really.....hate that actually #the waiting room chapter

[lyriumlullaby-ao3]

y’all i s2g i have way more meta for you and i think some of you may even like it lol but UNFORTUNATELY i’m an idiot who decided they wanted a PhD lmfao so. yeah grad school apps are draining the life from me 😭

#thoughts and prayers appreciated lol #this is all /lh #i just get so much serotonin from interacting with y’all and school is trying to kill me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #antares speaks #i started working on more solas meta last weekend and didn’t get it finished bc of school stuff and this weekend is gonna be even worse 😭 #statements of intent!!! letters of rec!! a WRITING SAMPLE #bestie said i should send them my smut and we had a good laugh #would that my smut would get me into UBC or Berkeley but ALAS lol #anyway we’re still gonna peg the templar though lol #oh scuse me—EX-templar lol #it’s happening. i wrote ~1k of it yesterday lol #follow up thought: how do i get my millennial ass brain to stop saying ‘lol’ about everything alsjdks

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

#a lot happening right now. would so appreciate prayers #a lot good. But it’s a Lot. Life is a lot! Mental health stuff is a lot #Adult stuff is a lot. #anyway I hope you’re well. just wanted to reach out for a moment <3

[gelato444]

not even a joke tho it’s funny how when anything related to health happens to you or your family it just becomes a survive and figure it out later type of vibe

#anyways #things are really hard right now lol #appreciate thoughts and prayers #if anyone has like any resources about dealing with cancer in the family that would probably also help me idk #i feel very lost

[man-made-misery]

Tw for illness/death

#spamming here because i know tags show right under the post on mobile and i dont want anyone to see who doesnt want to 🤍🤍🤍🤍 #so my grandma's in a coma #she's been unwell for a while #and then today her heart stopped #i saw her for a bit before they took her into ICU and she held my hand #and then i saw her in ICU and i managed to hold it together #tbh i haven't processed it yet I'm more focused on making sure my mum and grandad are ok #but i know itll hit me soon lol #anyway idk why I'm writing this really i just needed to vent #so i guess if you're religious thoughts and prayers would be very much appreciated #):