#autistic. which is annoying. thr malignant force that is my obsessive compulsive tendencies. which again im not allowed to name bc its not

[opens-up-4-nobody]

the good thing about asperger's no longer being a diagnosis is that it's just called level 1 autism spectrum disorder now. i know i probably shouldn't be poking around in the mental health of strangers online, but as an autistic person myself, your struggles resonated with me. ever since i've been able to accept, understand, and begin to provide myself accommodations for my autism, my mental health has improved tremendously. autism is also co-morbid with oodles of other conditions, so it is definitely possible to have autism and other conditions that may have overlapping symptoms

It's funny, I was diagnosed, accepted it, over analyzed and rejected it, subsequently forgot about it entirely, then when the only helpful counselor I ever had brought up the idea I was like: Oh yeah! That makes sense. And went through the same process over again. I will say, having someone point out that something might be inhibiting my ability to interact with people was extremely helpful. Because I just thought I was really bad at it and processed it as a point of failure (which was intolerable). At one point she said "You don't have to do things you don't want to just because you feel like you should" and I think about that a lot. That should have been obvious but it was like she slapped me with a fish

#i used to pretend to be a person a lot more. now im just like im too fucking tired to not be anything but myself #ill wear whatever weird patterns i want. ill avoid all eye contact and say whatevers in my head. bc usually its nothing #harmful. perhaps a bit blunt but usually in a way thst makes ppl laugh. with me or at me idk but whatever #ill be as weird as i want. i wear fucking white moon boots around everywhere lol. ay now im just being defensive bc #these r the things my sister would make fun of me for lol. point is im probably autistic and overthinking it #but in the past few yeas when the obsessive compulsive behavior started to become a more and more obvious problem i was like hm maybe its #something else and my brain restricts even the words i use in the context i use them so i became no longer allowed to say oh yea im #autistic. which is annoying. thr malignant force that is my obsessive compulsive tendencies. which again im not allowed to name bc its not #allowed without an official diagnosis bc thats how my brain work 👍 #level 1 autism sounds Hilarious tho. the teired heavens of autism. ive only ascended to level 1. allegedly. #god. my brain. y do i have to plausible deniability myself. its like im waiting for someone to collect evidance and make an arrest bc of #messy liguistics. ay ay ay. there r 2 wolfs inside me. one is trying to drown the other lol #unrelated #me when i have to b around ppl: actually im an insect person. an alien studying humans. watch them go #but no no im not one of them. im simply an observer