#avvy’s jshk

[2n2n]

Ah watching the fujoshi really lose their mind at the sudden possibility of older Amane sensei x young rumor spirit Tsukasa…. you get whiplash from these possibilities so suddenly flung at you. You don’t expect to be able to enjoy age difference with your twin OTP. And yet AidaIro sensei are just that enterprising….

#avvy’s jshk

[7ban-sama]

Hiiiii! I don’t think I’ve seen you musing about flowers in JSHK yet, and I would be interested to see your opinion on it! If you don’t mind Of course!!

Ah shucks, sure, though I'll go ahead and say... I haven't posted much about it on my own, because I'm not very confident about flower symbolism and such… Not my forte aha? I mostly rely on others being more educated on this. I think about it of course, but just doing a little disclaimer, I'm no expert, and I do not feel especially good at thinking in these terms. 6w6;

Both me and my wife rely on perusing this JP site, hananokotoba, to specifically get a read on interpretations/associations originating from Japan. I’m not really interested in any western concepts, because it’s… at least, LESS likely to be the use case. (Best to err on the side of caution and defer to the culture AidaIro-sensei actually are from, heh.)

I actually still feel quite proud of the research I did to assist my wife in identifying the flowers present in Chapter 100's celebratory illustration. You can read that post here. This involved me tunneling through JP listings for purchase, blog posts, articles, and pulling up image after image to compare orchids and make sure I could be as accurate as possible ww... the end result felt very satisfying. Well worth the efforts.

Though, to talk more broadly about it all... hm... I suppose the flowers I think the most about... are simply, Hanako's red camelias. Me and Avvy are constantly saying "the camellia of modest beauty" to one another, since that's what they're thought of as; simple, modest. It's so humble a flower, which I kind of love for our main boy. Alongside the name Amane, which has the first kanji for the world 'normal' (or 'ordinary', 'plain', 'regular'... futsuu...) And well, isn't he just the most normal looking little guy when he's in a white t-shirt. Just a boy. Meep. I imagine Amane has a sheer... underwhelming air, when alive, to the average person. Shrimpy, small and bug-eyed. Ooh. It's not the most flattering sounding... But I love that he simultaneously is mysterious, cool, dark and brooding, and maybe the craziest guy in the cast. (I think, at least. :3) Dual wielding so much here, right?

I think the tsubaki suits him, thusly! It's probably my favorite out of anyone's designated flower… (Though, my next favorite would be Nene being associated with strawberries & strawberry blossoms. Very cute for her! I love that they evoke a childish naivety... Playfulness. Oh, isn't she just...?)

The ah, other major thing about tsubaki though, are the associations with samurai. Since the entire flower falls all at once instead of petal by petal, it "beheads" itself... and, an aspect of seppuku would involve the samurai being beheaded, as an act of mercy, during the ritual. And well, we now know how Amane died... 9.9

Considering seppuku was often a matter of "taking responsibility" for one's actions, and the whole psyche surrounding shinjuu as well, I think this all checks out. Ah– we actually now also have the tidbit about yorishiro from Sakura — implicating that Amane's feelings for Tsukasa involved a sense of preciousness, a desire to protect. Considering how severe he is about it all in the modern day...

... it all makes sense, to me, that Amane's death completes the circle, with tsubaki's association with samurai.

(Small aside — but I'm always obsessed with how he phrases it, in the confrontation with Kou. "すごく特別" ; sugoku tokubetsu... I think of it more like, as if he was saying — an 'awfully' or 'terribly' special reason...)

This is all such a... ghoulish addition to everything, considering Amane is our 'jibaku shounen'. Self-destructing boy-! Bound to the school, with his life 'over', no longer allowed to enjoy himself frivolously. He is here, serving penance... He believes that he has no future, he's a dead-end, his existence is 'punishment'... and I'm sure he's really meant it, for the years he's been serving the mysteries as No. 7. Atoning guy-!!

So it really suits him... and-! I think that it contrasts Tsukasa, who evokes royal and holy imagery... Tsukasa, whose name kanji instead pulls from a word that means 'to rule', 'to be in charge', the one directing things... which of course goes with him orchestrating so many events in the manga. To me, the twins kind of have this... binary of, samurai and emperor. Servant, royalty... knight and princess lol.

This all makes me contemplative... I dwell a lot on the flow of 'power' between servant and ruler. One thinks of it as a very cut and dry, but mmm... Because we're talking about what it symbolically means for the Yugi, I think it's multi-layered. As much as our first impressions of their dynamic have been steadily unpacked, and it's obvious it's not as simple as Tsukasa being menacing and domineering to the wibbly, crying Amane. In relation to that — while the knight is subservient to the ruler, the ruler is reliant on the knight. It is the knight who is the one wielding the weapon and doing the protecting, after all. I like that, for them. Who owns who? It's a little bit of both, isn't it? (Kind of like how in the recent event, Amane goes from being Tsukasa's pet, to Tsukasa dressed up in kitty ears and a collar to match. So they ah... own each other......... lol.)

Related to this, in this retrospring, I've talked about what I think the mental state Amane was in while receiving injuries/rope burns from Tsukasa. While we can't know the exact details of the situation (the technical how, why), I'm pretty convinced that the emotional palette for Amane during this time is, a sense of dogged loyalty to Tsukasa. Duty bound... refusing to let anyone drive them apart. Forgiving everything... and choosing to stay.

... ah, but amidst all these loyal, noble feelings... still, a sense of possessiveness is there.

The nature of it all! So yeah... I think the samurai aspect adds a lot, and is quite decadent, to boot.

Smaller detail here, but also, I think sometimes the camellias are used to stand in place of Tsukasa's corpse, in certain illustrations? In particular, this promo for Chapter 71...

This one calls to mind the kind of possessive hold Aida has depicted with Amane in other instances, like with Nene's lifeless body during the Clock keepers arc, or this intense Picture Perfect boy holding Nene in the cover for Chapter 50. (Also, in a similar vein is Cult holding Lily's body in a coffin... Aida-sensei seems to love depicting covetous corpse hold...)

And then ah, in this illustration, the shapes below Amane, resemble the stylization of camellias as well...?

When I put these side by side... They look similar to me, at least. And we know that in this pose, Tsukasa is supposed to be pinned just below Amane. But of course — we can't see his expression or anything like that yet, so this is a way to obfuscate and tease...

It wouldn't surprise me, I guess, if the image of all these camellias held, was meant to harken to Tsukasa's murder (which is then tied to Amane's suicide and atonement.) It's not even the first time we've seen Amane possessively clutching something that symbolizes Tsukasa... So-! I think this is the case in these images, as well. I think AidaIro are trying to weave as much as they can, while preserving the mystique of the story, only fully unveiling the truth once the time comes. Until then, there's hints all throughout the manga, of the reality of the twins' relationship...! Treats, for the industrious fan. (As much as one could puzzle things like, the location of the twins stab wounds, from earlier illusts, for example. And everything we learned from Takasebune being in PP... etc etc.)

The implications, then, of an image this, are kind of, wonderful.

Hmm, the murder knife.. knife that murdered Tsukasa... cutting up strewn about camellia... hmm... incidentally this Tsukasa wearing an outfit that decks him out like a flower... Dwell on it, perhaps.........

Lastly, I like to think the ruffly ends of Nene's uniform are actually meant to evoke camellia petals. Hence, the bright red fabric beneath.

Hm, this one is probably the most... "wishful thinking"(?) thing here, but still. I think it'd be a cute, tasteful detail. Feels fitting, as we get Nene wearing red camellias on her kimono for Tanbata! ... as much as the twins wear each other's symbols of sun and moon during Tanabata!!! It all kind of 'completes' something, here. Our alignments...

These are all my most pressing thoughts, when it comes to flowers in JSHK. I hope any of this is interesting to read! I worry I got a little eccentric or off topic, but I figure-? I should try and explain what goes through my mind and what I value... to do more than just ah, regurgitate facts you can find anywhere. Aha. (｀∇´)

#☀️ #💬 #💭

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.28.2022

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：yk while i dont think nene ever gets to see a cutscene play out quite like she envisioned (and nene is like, envisioning hanako embracing Tsukasa surrounded by sakura petals and being like "i always… wanted to tell you…. aishiteru zo." "amane…" / while the reality of amane not holding back is more like FUCK YOU TIL YOU DIE. *holding by throat*) i do think there are moments the twins are having an interaction that is enchanting. like watching two wild big cats start to groom each other. and nene feels like a photographer in the bushes holding her breath. witnessing hanako stiffly, quietly say "Tsukasa." to summon him over while overwhelmed during sex and beginning to nuzzle face to face, and watching them obsessively rub heads together bzzz… i think peak weird could be so endearing, like snuzz snuzz, tsukasa licks amane, amane gets emotional enough to lick back, feedback loop of licking each other's faces, rub rub inhaaaaale breathe against one another's neck.

and Nene is like f …. fuck…  dam… boyce…. maybe twin love is just special

つ：IT'S SO SPECIAL she would feel like her envisioning of it was in some way feeble, and rote. It is incredibly atypical…! its like expecting the courtship rituals of some rare exotic birds to be like dogs chasing eachother in the park. but it is in reality idiosyncratic beyond what she would ever observe naturally in school, or in some sort of TV drama.

あ： Humbling really… feeling like both Tsukasa and Hanako are such complicated individuals, that their cumulative love is ofc really unlike anything she could imagine

つ：you know we save hat-off Hanako for such emotionally intense moments….. we don't really have, hat off modern Tsukasas, do we…? just another I feel like aidairo is rly saving up…..

あ：true isnt it… it's such a 'reduced boy' state the 500 guns waiting to go off in JSHK

#22 #ghosties #chisai

[2n2n]

watching all the JP AmaTsus process and discuss the chapter deeper feel like they’re all like this rn. Nobody surviving it

#avvy’s jshk

[2n2n]

I really think Tiara is Teru’s consolation prize…. much like Amane he is a brocon but unlike Amane his target is not so open minded and pure of heart. Tsukasa is so observant and smart and attentive . Kou is so dumb and unobservant, he is never . Going to Notice Teru’s feelings. Let alone return them. But God gave Teru the world’s thirstiest little sister who he is completely submissive to. So he’ll be okay. I think aidairo are too sentimental and soft to not have a prize waiting for such a long suffering knight guy

#Avvy’s JSHK

[2n2n]

I would really like to boil some peoples eyeballs in this image. not to hurt them but to invigorate with understanding. your eyeballs hot and steaming and reeking of knowledge

#avvy’s jshk

[2n2n]

Amane— who has not fully reconciled with either of his crushes, nor confessed to them— having to see his crushes kiss each other

Mmmmm

#Avvy’s JSHK

[2n2n]

Just loving mine and the husband’s vibes

#avvy’s jshk

[2n2n]

Ohhhh driving me INSANE that the theme of this set is “Kamome students” so we get DELUXE STUDENT EDITION BANDAGED BOY but I swear it would be a SPOILER TO SHOW TSUKASA FROM THAT POINT IN TIME SO HE ISNT HERE (YET?????) !!!! *pounds my hands on the ground face down*

#avvy’s JSHK

[2n2n]

if the apparent reality of the ryokan boys not being true twins is true, I find it very charming that the taboo replacing it has become interspecies, which Teru unnecessarily vocally is a hater about.

Its a little funny to me because in canon its like, unintentionally Teru and Amane are like 🤝 being way too into your sibling, while it is 🔫 about human/kaii relationships, but also, really in canon they're pretty 🤝about that, since Hanako is repressing and refusing to embrace pleasure and has drank the Minamoto kool-aid about kaii hopelessness, being a dangerous monster, etc.

Ryokan boy seems pretty chill about his circumstance with Tsukasa though, perhaps even entitled to it or like it's good that he wrought Tsukasa away from cruel humanity. Its funny that HanaNene is more acceptable than AmaTsuka even in this AU where relation might not be an issue. It's still built on an unacceptable taboo. Its charming... lol

#avvy’s jshk #so funny whenever teru is the resident hater. like yucky. ew

[2n2n]

bury it.

Amane can seem confusing, but he's consistent.

Something terribly shakes him up....

Maybe you think, "I wonder what Hanako will be like when we next see him!?! He was so freaked out last time!! it's going to be explosive!" .... but .... much of the time.... that doesn't happen.

he just buries it.

shaken, shaken...

...to surprisingly disaffected.

something upsetting....

...shrugged away.

The first Amane we'll see after something like the Hell of Mirrors....

...or after Picture Perfect....

.....I wonder what Amane could have been like, coming home, after a moment like this?

Amane....

#avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

ch. 110

brutality, no survivors.... incredible suffering for the girlies (you, me, JP twitter)

and here I thought shenanigans would continue... this promo image was an immediate punch at 6AM

and yet this was all things considered the easy part...? ugh, but... please a moment to drink it in... all of my beliefs in the true power exchange... it's so satisfying to see it like this. it's easy, simple to still Tsukasa, isn't it... towering, presiding older brother.... his joudai trailing... touch your seal... the virtue by which you are kept safe, kept his. Poor Tsukasa. covetous object...!

a rascal....! uhh I love pocket-sanding Akane with old man parts ... amazing technique ahaha, Tsukasa knows how to make people lose focus huh? he's in such a good mood isn't he~ not as resentful as he was towards Mirai pestering him...

mirai explode lol.... I can't say I feel much personally, I guessed she might do this ... it's sweet of her to protect Akane, but I can't think much of it, beyond what it contributes to how we should feel about her. Noble rat after all? not so dumb as Akane had said before?

Mirai holding the yorishiro makes sense, for why she's typically locked in their boundary without any freedom. sure... easy. another key to haunt us! more keys why NOT

I like to see Natsuhiko being cool like this ... ♥

but this is so interesting...

I'm never sure how much Mitsuba really understood about the Broadcast club's greater plans... I wonder if Natsuhiko is being literal here, and Mitsuba DID know what he had to do, but had settled on his suicidal ennui.... ah, having to analyze your life for something precious is grim... he has an issue of not appreciating what he has while he has it, and being unable to state it...

.... and there's nobody to correct him. This is such a manga about... 'reasons'....

among the things even possible.. that poor keychain was destroyed. I wonder if there were a few things going on in Mitsuba's mind even then...

I really like... that mysteries, kaii need something anchoring them... I like that it's not enough, to exist... I like that the body naturally dilapidates, 'wants' to move on or become something else. It's a great metaphor....! In this manga... the most important thing, is loving something. If you don't love something, you can't stay alive. You won't....

I'm still wondering if the original thing Kou gave Mitsuba back in vol. 7 will ever come back around... or if it just gave him a complex or curiosity about the 'old' Mitsuba (who he snoops on in PP after this, so....) ... and can't itself be precious so much as worming...

anyhow... I like this turn of events, but it is so shocking we're stacking handling No. 3 and also No. 1!!!! I can't believe it!!!! IT'S ALL HAPPENINGGGG?????!?!? We haven't stacked mysteries like this before ~~!!!! It's so exciting.... I like Natsuhiko a lot in all of this ♥ I don't know... like with Tsukasa and Mitsuba, I believe him that he found it all charming in its own way, and that he wanted to offer what he could to Mitsuba for the timebeing. It's not as if there are other options, here... Mitsuba... really was never doing the things that needed to be done.... or letting others know what he needed to do.

I suppose Natsuhiko could wake up Kou to watch this if he wanted, but I find it much funnier if Kou just has to wake up at the end of this and Mitsuba is eradicated... lol...

can't say I really understand Teru's position about the mysteries...

you understand the mysteries are a kind of structural pillar for this region, but the pressure that was weighing on Hanako at least seemed to be the Minamoto ... it was that imperative the Broadcast Club's been taking advantage of. The rumors created an excuse to justify the sense of mistrust in the mysteries. But I'll never quite know what Teru is even capable of ... since he shouldn't be able to touch yorishiro ... but directly threatens to exorcize mysteries. Can you have extant yorishiro without the mysteries utilizing them.... ??? Well, I just don't understand it yet.... must put it aside.

back to what really matters...

I love how peaceful, relieved, serene he looks here.... finally, you've been so patient, Tsukasa... every little step of this has taken so long.... holding the last yorishiro in your hands... trusting Amane to handle you, after... it must feel good. The end in sight....

I really love this reach for Amane's knife...

back in this position, are we?

ah.... poor Amane. For a moment... I appreciate what he's trying to do, here. He sounds patient... he sounds like an older brother. Explaining so cleanly...

you want to be sure Tsukasa understands... maybe you think-- he hasn't thought this through, or he doesn't get the consequences, he's being childish, or reckless, maybe he's misunderstood how it happened before ... I love to hear Amane, say something so direct as... won't see you again.... won't be able to save you ... everything he did last time! to ensure... that you wouldn't be apart! the binding of their souls! tying Tsukasa down to him like a ship in a storm! protection, mooring... keeping you, where he can see you! remaining together, at all costs! that's important to you too, right, Tsukasa? don't you want to see each other?

it's as if you're saying you don't want to be together, don't want to be saved... what do we do with people who don't ask you to save them? why must they insist on leaving you behind?

Mitsuba won't ask Kou to save him. Sumire wouldn't ask Hakubo to save her. Aoi didn't want Akane to save her. I wonder if Tsukasa didn't ask Amane to save him, but Amane did it anyway... her certainly wasn't asking for a hero in the Red House, or to live on coming back.

it's a kind of rejection, isn't it? When someone is so ambivalent about the life you love so much... the life you want with them... it's as if they're saying, "I don't want to be with you enough to live for you."

Of course, every time, they're really saying ... "I just don't know what I mean to you." Mitsuba doesn't feel valuable to Kou; only a replacement, a reminder of something he once cared about. Best to give up. Sumire imagined Hakubo was only placating her, and could only wish not for his earnest sadness, but for him to pretend to be sad for her. Best to let death happen. and Aoi didn't feel Akane knew the real her, imagined he would reject the real Aoi, only in love with his grand projection of her. Best to step away now.

Of course, Tsukasa thought his brother hated him, so...

It all feels so simple and logical! It's saving trouble, right?

Amane made such a gesture last time... in their shinjuu... he tried, he really tried, to say something ... to Tsukasa.

but, the message didn't go through...

but I can only be so sympathetic to Amane, as he's an incredible hypocrite. Of course, Amane has put Nene-chan through everything Tsukasa puts him through.

You also try to grant your beloved a wish for a future that explicitly doesn't involve you, and make her feel rejected, abandoned, given no choice...

Amane...

oh, Yugi twins....

.... why can't you understand when you're precious? Why can't you understand how bad it hurts, to abandon somebody? Amane-chan really suffered without you, Tsukasa. You're always the one leaving him, and getting to feel sacrificial about it. He's trying to tie you down....

.... it's a natural response... to lash out. Rejected... misunderstood... abandoned... why is Tsukasa asking you to give up on him? Why can't he understand, even with that seal on his cheek... even as you died with him....

兄の思いは届かず…

I really love that for the chapter's end.

Amane's feelings never did reach Tsukasa. It wasn't understood, what he had tried to do, his sadness now. But... Amaneeeee....

maybe you could use a taste of your own medicine....

we think we know just how to make someone else's wish come true, don't we?

isn't it such an insult! WHY!!!!!! """"WHY""""""??????

..... I'm out of images, so I'll continue in a reblog, for a couple more thoughts I'm having ....

but for this post... ahhhh. It's unbelievable we're at least starting to tackle... this. I feel bad for Amane, I really do... I feel bad for Tsukasa, too. It's hard to not hurt someone you love ... in an attempt to only hurt yourself. If we hurt ourselves, we hurt the thing our lover adores ... we spit on their love for us.

I can understand why and how Amane can say "I hate you" ... to Tsukasa. As much as Akane could childishly say it to Aoi ... and you know, it is that same unimaginable love which makes it possible. Years of familiarity, it makes you more liable to lash out. There is such a greater sense of betrayal, when you've expended so much effort... when you try so hard for someone... when you're in so much pain about them....! After all I've done... you CAN'T say this or that to me.... etc, etc! Those intense emotions... can make you feel entitled, to never be hurt... you can't hurt me, after all I've hurt for you!

and I do think it's being said extremely childishly... daikirai... he's just, unable to be any more constructive with his feelings, he's so... hurt, mad. As much as Nene-chan is so mad, hearing Hanako spit on all of her efforts she made to reach him... BIG SLAP!!!

Amane, he's maybe endured 50 years of effort and an awful lot of physical suffering for Tsukasa, and it's not gotten through... wwww! I'm sorry, I'm worried Tsukasa might have a PROFOUND amount of suicidal urge. Might be an uphill battle, Amane... you might just need to save Tsukasa because you are selfish, and you want him for yourself. There might be no easier reason ... to keep him by your side. We can't make Tsukasa beg to stay with you... but you won't beg him to stay, will you? I think that would actually do a lot of good, Amane... but you really won't do that....

meanwhile, I love the juxtaposition of Nene-chan's incredibly childish DAI DAI DAISUKIII and this daikirai lol... we all have big feelings don't we lol....! well...

#avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

So things are very changed now, so I was wondering, do you think it's possible for things to magically go back to the way they were before like Hanako-kun going back to being the 7 mystery and Tsukasa being his yorishiro? Or will this reality simply never exist again? So this means this could be tbhk's last arc, but it feels like there are still so many questions left unanswered 😢

I think you, and, other people panicking, really need to stop and take a breather, and remember how... stories work. How narratives operate.

even a mediocre and poorly planned shounen manga would typically not suddenly pivot in the middle and retcon everything! Do you think JSHK appears poorly-planned or made-up-on-the-spot? PERSONALLY, in my experience with AidaIro's works, they have a TON of integrity with regard to story themes and character motivations. Iro-sensei really, REALLY desires for readers to come to UNDERSTAND characters. Iro-sensei was a sobbing mess on the publication of JSHK, because they were scared people would not LIKE it, and thus, they would not get to continue to unfold the story. They LIKE their characters a LOT! They want you to UNDERSTAND Yugi Amane, Yugi Tsukasa, Yashiro Nene, etc etc!! Deeply, and truly!

While a lot of shounen are filled with nonsense-of-the-week and neverending organizations of dozens of villains showing up without connection or significance, I would argue that JSHK has none of that. We've been on the same exact journey from the very beginning: we want to understand Yugi Amane, and we want to save him.. .whatever that means.

You need to lean back in your chair and let AidaIro-sensei whisk you away! You need to trust that it will take time, but, that there are answers in AidaIro-sensei's notebooks to everything.

No, the story isn't ending right now! No, that reality is not gone!

To me, this kind of panic is like....

if Picture Perfect began, and you worried, "oh no, Hanako-kun is our villain now, we're fighting him, will he ever be our hero again?" or "oh no, we're stuck in a fake reality... will we ever go back to the real world?"

Or, if during the Severance, you worried, "oh no, the near and far shore have been severed, will we never get in-school shenanigans ever again?" "oh no, Aoi is dead for good..."

In reality, this arc-- like every arc-- is going to be a way for you and I to see new angles on the characters we love.

We already knew Yugi Amane created an aberrant future, and we were intrigued by the notion of school teacher Amane from the 'original' timeline. Finally, we are going to SEE that timeline. If we DIDN'T do this, we'd feel something was missing! Everyone has long been curious about THIS reality! We've been desperate, haven't we?? We've been wishing to understand this thing described in VOLUME 3. This isn't scary at all, it's satisfying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To have a fully rounded perspective on the Yugi twins, we need to see this world. For Nene-chan to truly understand HER Amane, she needs to grasp WHAT EXACTLY AMANE DID to CREATE the reality she has been in up until now. We're literally going to investigate the EXACT MOMENT that leads to "Hanako-kun", our lover lol. Until we know that, do we really know "Hanako-kun" at all?

Personally, I want Nene-chan to be INVOLVED in the CREATION of that reality we love. I want to know what role Tsukasa plays in all of it, too.

The reality we have been in was someone's choice! We won't understand the gravity and precision of that choice without seeing it FIRSTHAND. This is not a SCARY event, this is a RELIEVING event-- we will gain perspective!! Nobody should be afraid of that, seriously!

This is what we, the readers, want! And this is how AidaIro-sensei want to show it to us. Very directly!!

We're all very curious about the shinjuu, the Yugi twin's past. What if we could go to that moment, and SEE it? What if Nene-chan could witness it? What if she could set it into motion? These are the kinds of things to be potentially looking forward to.

The manga is called "Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun". We would never do away with "Hanako-kun". That's self-evident!

#avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

the little brother

#her art #avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

I keep dwelling on our poor Amane...

I still am in shock... somehow, this whole time... it's just so impossibly miserable, Tsukasa's reality of simply never understanding the message or point of the shinjuu. This relieved smile, the end finally in reach....

Tsukasa, who can only ever think of 'disappearing' again and again...

the moments before Amane has a complete melt down, listening to this, and then seeing Tsukasa command Nene-chan to take responsibility in destroying every Yorishiro....

the culmination of this entire timeline, the FINAL BEATS of THIS UNIVERSE we've lived in for all of this time, were....

Amane's own MOUTH finally plainly, patiently trying to spell out Tsukasa's actions consequences to him....

those consequences are not, 'the fate of the boundaries' 'the fate of the world' 'the fate of existence'.

It's the threat of never seeing each other ever, ever again! All Amane dictates, if the Yorishiro are destroyed, is Tsukasa disappearing. Interestingly, in this moment, he's not even focused on Nene-chan's fate-- not that it's not deeply important to him, too, but-- Nene-chan already knows her life is precious to him, and that he's fighting to save it. The point he has to make to Tsukasa, is the consequence that occurs between them.

But does Tsukasa understand Amane's many years of fighting to keep them bound...?

I really, really thought that at least on some level, Tsukasa understood what it meant to be Amane's Yorishiro... the treasure at the center of his boundary, his protected & sacred object. He had to understand the shinjuu, the purpose of the act of killing Tsukasa and then himself, was in a desperate bid to keep them together, even in death.

I guess Amane thought that, too! We're right here with him!!

He's done so much, for so many years--! After all this time... it's an incredibly vulnerable moment for Amane to finally acknowledge his own efforts to Tsukasa, directly, to try to ask Tsukasa if he even understands the consequences of his actions.... it truly is the climax of this entire manga, to Hanako's entire existence as a mystery. The previous arc confirmed what a Yorishiro even is, and Tsukasa being Amane's, to prepare us for this devastating blow. The Seventh mystery's existence revolves around protecting his Yorishiro!

in one single expression, a casual word, every single hope in Amane is destroyed.....

it couldn't be a more simple & effortless rejection of everything! Tsukasa's suicidal tendencies are curiously ignorant & naive. Why does it matter if he disappears? He doesn't know why it would matter! IT'S AN INDOMINABLE BELIEF IN HIS UNIMPORTANCE!

Amane, why would it matter?

Tsukasa doesn't see himself disappearing as a consequence. It's a trivial aspect of granting your wish.

Why would you care if he disappeared?

all of this time, he never told Tsukasa anything! It's over 50 years of complete waste! Amane died for nothing! He didn't even die proving he loved Tsukasa more than anything, more than his own future. He didn't convey a single message! The 7th mystery's existence is a joke. Meaningless! You do all of that, and Tsukasa wants to jump into a hole again, just like he did at age 4. NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

what happens next... is so awful, but I do understand Amane's poor broken heart thrashing. Amane is an interesting person... I enjoy his pure black & white thinking. It's kind of moe of him... kind of cutely dramatic and extreme haha. And above all, it kind of preserves this... beautiful idea of Tsukasa, as someone who couldn't disappoint him....?

In a big way, I think Tsukasa is idealized by Amane..... I don't think he's rational about his little brother at all.

To step back for a second... I like that, at one point in time, it appears as if Amane utterly doubled down on 'Tsukasa is real, no matter what.'

Maybe to go on in life, Amane had to believe in that with his whole heart.

The gestures he made in the shinjuu, were in devotion to that belief. Tsukasa's purity of being. 'You ARE my little brother-- no matter what anyone says-- and I'll die to be with you forever.'

Now, Tsukasa is apparently utterly ignorant to his efforts, blind to Amane's aching love for him... Amane's response is essentially, "Tsukasa would never do that to me, Tsukasa WOULD understand"

"for you to hurt me this badly, you CAN'T be my Tsukasa"... that's the mindset Amane suddenly has. He can't handle anything else!!!

Somehow... it's better if some unknown monster tricked him, lied to him, if this person beneath him isn't Tsukasa at all. Never was. If it's a waste, better for it to be a complete and UTTER waste!!!!!!!

it's so terrible of him, but it's merely a childish tantrum. He's only hurt.

It's interesting that it doesn't hurt Tsukasa, at all, but Amane-- he obviously wants to hurt this Tsukasa....? He defensively wishes to say the most awful thing he can think of to... this monster. But if it's a monster, what would it care, Amane? If this isn't your little brother, why would it care about you stating the truth? Do you want to see it cry?

Tsukasa, for his mileage, I just don't think harsh or cruel words can ever hurt him. After all, he doesn't see himself as important, or imagine he has any value, at all. If Amane says 'I hate you', or insults him, or acts annoyed, it makes no difference to his fate. He already exists in a perpetual reality of trying to make himself disappear. It's not as if Amane can rob him of his will to live, or make him feel his existence is pointless. He has no will to live. He's always acting on that assumption. Amane cannot erode his belief in his value or make him cry about how much Amane hates him, because that's the only thing Tsukasa has ever believed was true.

There's a sort of excruciating discrepancy between the Yugi twins...

If Amane could hurt Tsukasa, he would probably be soothed, somehow, that his feelings matter to Tsukasa. But Tsukasa has always easily said, "or would you prefer if I disappear?" with a smile on his face, as if it's inconsequential. I'm entirely sure Amane's ideal world would be one where his frustration makes Tsukasa sob and beg for his love, acceptance, or forgiveness. Tsukasa, however, doesn't do that, because he doesn't feel he deserves Amane's love, apparently! He already accepts a world in which Amane doesn't love him, so Amane saying 'I hate you' won't make him cry, not ever. But to Amane, that makes it look like it doesn't matter if he hates Tsukasa! Which makes it seem like Tsukasa doesn't need his love, or need him...

I think in Amane's mind, Tsukasa is his pristine little brother... he won't accept a reality in which Tsukasa would reject his heart, in which Tsukasa didn't perceive his love.

....despite the words themselves, I think they come from a place of deep love. If Amane didn't love Tsukasa so much, he wouldn't care about his 'message' to him, and he wouldn't care about a 'fake'.

now whimsically I want to say... Amane is such a pained and agonized romantic with such immense issues with jealousy & possessiveness, I wonder how he dealt with the idea of some strange thing being housed in Tsukasa's heart?

I can understand 'complete and utter denial' as a means of coping with something too painful to accept. If Tsukasa is replaced, there's nothing left for you to love. And if something else has taken his heart, you can never have it.

If Amane ultimately stabbed Tsukasa in the heart, maybe he was trying to take something back, or claim his dominance over that territory.

Tsukasa, he's unfortunately quite reckless with that thing....

It's interesting, because Amane these days is such a doomer, you could almost think "ah, I see, he'll believe in the 'worst possible thing' now, and give up on Tsukasa's realness entirely."

But "this Tsukasa is and has always been a fake" is not actually the 'worst possible thing'!

The worst possible thing would be "This Tsukasa is real, and he never understood I love him, and he doesn't want to be with me" !! "Tsukasa never knew I loved him, he died believing I hated him" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amane is in fact still coping.....................................................

#avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

ch. 113

I do have a serious family emergency going on IRL at the moment. But wouldn't you know it, the chapter is the day before I have to make a trip about it. So I can have a brief respite from scary & stressful things....

we see Amane at the 81st annual festival. Our current festival is the 113th. the Amane we see here would be ~27. (remember, Amane would be ~60 years old if he were alive in the 'present' of JSHK, which is 2015)

so, we finally see 1:1, precisely the boy in the 'corrected' timeline'

and he looks-- LIKE THIS??????????????????

in THIS timeline, Amane feels in-control, he's humming or whistling, he's pleased to hear Tsukasa's rumor play out???!?!????!?!??

WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!? what did you do--!! what did you do--!!!!!!! This is the last thing I expected for you, what, you're in a great mood. Your brother seems to be some sort of cursed school-bound ghost. A good day for you, Amane-sensei?!?!?!?!? What did you do!!!!!

In every timeline, Amane really is crazy! Amazing! Do you always manage some sort of control over Tsukasa's fate, no matter what!?

I DON'T KNOW, AIDAIRO-SENSEI!!! you were right, this month's Hanako-kun is unbearable!!!!

ah, was it that simple all along... lol. just keeping her informed... you not only kept Nene-chan in the dark unnecessarily and had to explain yourself twice, you also made us sit through 2 chapters for the basic run-down, Teru....

it's such an interesting situation....!

It would be impossible for just anyone to pinpoint even the year of the Clockkeeper's interference... let alone the exact altercation they interrupted. Someone would have to have quite intimate knowledge of, specifically the Yugi twins history, to even start looking.

And even so, you've also got to avoid the Clockkeepers just fixing it again, or nipping at you, right? I wonder if we'll have to essentially... go back, instigate events with the Yugi which result in our yorishiro Tsukasa ... and then ... peel the Clockkeeper's yorishiro, to de-power them, and usurp control for ourselves over the timeline? It's so hard to imagine a world where we can let the Clockkeepers remain in any power, if we want to have 'control' ....

but can Nene-chan peel yorishiro, anymore? I wonder if she would need to form a contract with someone else to be granted that right, in this world.... ♥..... well, getting ahead of ourselves... but that would be fun.... I think so, anyway....

so interesting! I wonder if, in this world, Akane even typically called her 'Ao-chan'? That's such an affectionate/familiar nickname.... it would be surprising from someone you're not super close with....

and the implication seems to be that Aoi and Teru have been more familiar SINCE childhood, not just now... so Akane's been completely booted in some capacity... if she's been referring to Teru in such a familiar way since childhood, this arrangement may have happened quite early on....

he was interrupted for a bit, but he does get to say it out loud in full here. I wonder if compulsively letting this slip will seed something in Aoi's mind....

I've always been worried about Teru's interest in Aoi, what with their families histories... I've worried it has less to do with legitimate interest and more to do with, I don't know... power levels, bloodline, maintaining something or correcting something... it just doesn't pass my smell test. An arranged marriage is very bad news!

I feel so dumb for missing this LOL!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure our Ao-chan is on her way to remembering her true love....

briefly distracted by Tsutsu's tits....

noting the room number in case that becomes relevant later lol....

this is so extremely creepypasta vibes... AidaIro-sensei are in their creepypasta era right now....

UUUGH. IT'S SO EXCRUCIATINGLY EXCITING....

I saw someone joking that it's "like a gatcha", which Tsukasa are we going to get? Shosei-outfit boy? Summer uniform boy? Winter? 3 year old?????????????????????????? what Tsukasa is HERE?????? We don't even understand yet why our 'Amane' is in his winter uniform or called 'Hanako-san'! THIS TSUKASA COULD BE ANYTHIIIING--!!!

and a reminder that a 'rumor' is not necessarily a school Mystery (the confession tree was a rumor!)... mysteries are specific pillars of God appointed in some way into their position, with a yorishiro. Tsukasa could be a fully-fledged mystery, orrrrr he could be a weaker rumor!

EITHER WAY, WE'LL HAVE TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS, WON'T WE.........!!!!!! Come onnnnnnnnnnnnn Nene-chan!!!! I want to hear her summon Tsukasa just like she once did Hanako--!!!!!! RAAAHHH !! I want to know if he'd remember/recognize her or not...!!! UUUU

it's so crazy and exciting! AidaIro-sensei are too good at it all... I couldn't have ever imagined this Amane-sensei ah, smiling, crazily while girls summon his otouto to play....? why and how is Tsukasa a rumor... what happened to him in life to make his name famous... why is he in the modern-day more known than 'Amane' was..... ??? I'm scared for my life! Next month can never come fast enough....

#avvy's JSHK