#baby king penguins are some of the Most Creatures on earth I love them so much 🥰

[alexsfictionaddiction]

‘Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale of all.’

If you missed my announcement post last week, you may not know that I am a co-host of a wonderful readathon that will be taking place from 11th-18th August. My co-hosts are BookTubers Sam, Becky, Erica and Jordan and I would love if you could subscribe to all four of their channels. They are all fantastic creators and their videos deserve a LOT of love!

Today’s post aims to give you some inspiration for your FairytaleAThon TBR. The challenges for this round are in the above image and I’ve selected a few books that fit each one, which you’ll hopefully be interested in. FairytaleAThon encompasses original fairytales, myths, folktales and retellings of them so the possibilties are almost endless! Here are my very best recommendations:

1. THUMBELINA: Read a fairytale or retelling under 250 pages.

ELLA ENCHANTED BY GAIL CARSON LEVINE: 240 pages.

This very funny and sweet retelling of Cinderella is perhaps better known as a cute Anne Hathaway film but the source material is definitely worth the read. It follows Ella, who was given the curse of obedience by a fairy, when she was a baby. This means that she has to do anything that anyone tells her -fight monsters, let down her friends and even deny that she’s in love with the prince. However, there is a beautiful feminist resolution that is sure to delight modern fairytale lovers!

THE SNOW QUEEN BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN: 96 pages.

The story that inspired Frozen is over 200 years old but this beautiful new edition from independent publishing house Pushkin is worth picking up for the coverlust alone! The original tale is quite different to Disney’s version but it is still an epic story of love and loyalty in the harsh landscape of the snowy North. When a magic mirror breaks and curses Kay to be blind to all of the good in the world, he is taken by the Snow Queen and locked in her ice palace. It’s up to his friend Gerda to trek across the icy plains and rescue him and his frozen heart.

THE BROKEN SWORD BY POUL ANDERSON: 237 pages.

Inspired by Norse mythology, The Broken Sword is a dark high fantasy that has somehow been packed into just over 200 pages. Skafloc is a human boy who has been raised by elves amidst their war with the trolls. The elves require the use of the sword Tyrfing, which the mighty Thor broke in order to stop it destroying Yggdrasil -the tree that brings the earth, heavens and underworld together. Only the giant Bolverk can fix it and it’s Skafloc’s job to persuade him. As well as this huge undertaking, Skafloc also needs to face his dark changeling self! This is ideal for Tolkien fans who need a quick whimsical adventure in a strange land.

THE WILD SWANS BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN: 64 pages.

I’m aware that this is the second Christian Andersen Pushkin edition in this post but LOOK AT THEM! The Wild Swans is a little-known story about a princess whose 11 brothers are turned into swans by their evil stepmother. Despite being determined to break the curse, the stakes are high and huge sacrifices will need to be made to reunite the siblings. It’s a heartbreaking story about familial love and loyalty.

2. GENTLE GIANTS: Read a fairytale or retelling over 500 pages.

CRESS BY MARISSA MEYER: 560 pages.

This sci-fi retelling of Rapunzel is actually the third book in the Lunar Chronicles series. Although each book is a retelling of a different fairytale, the characters do overlap and therefore it is best to read them in order. The good news is that you have plenty of time before the readathon to read both preceding books -Cinder and Scarlet. The series is incredibly unique, quirky and funny with some truly shipworthy romances and madcap adventure.

COMPLETE FAIRY TALES BY BROTHERS GRIMM: 1019 pages.

Ok, so this may be cheating a little BUT what would FairytaleAThon be, if you didn’t dip into some classic original stories at some point? This Penguin Vintage Classics edition of the tales collected by the Brothers Grimm is a simple yet beautiful chunk of a book that I believe should be a staple in any fairytale lover’s library. Featuring the original gruesome versions of classics such as Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Twelve Dancing Princesses and so many more, there is bound to be more than a few of these 279 twisted, disturbing stories that you love!

CHILDREN OF BLOOD AND BONE BY TOMI ADEYEMI: 544 pages.

It was one of the biggest books of last year and its sequel is on its way next year. Children of Blood and Bone is inspired by the Orisha (deities) of West African mythology. It follows Zelie, a young girl with magical powers in a world where magic has been taken away and people like her are hunted by a tyrannical king. However now she is on a quest to avenge her dead mother and restore magic to her homeland. Followed by her brother Tzain, a rogue princess Amari and enemy prince Inan, this is a truly unique YA fantasy that I found completely unputdownable.

WICKED BY GREGORY MAGUIRE: 512 pages.

This prequel to The Wizard of Oz is best known as a hit West End and Broadway musical but the source material is also a fantastic read. Elphaba has been an outcast and persecuted all her life because of her green skin and this doesn’t change when she starts at Shiz University, where she meets the beautiful, queen bee Galinda. After a reluctant start, they soon form a friendship and band together with Munchkin boy Boq and quiet Vinkus prince Fiyero to put the injustices of their world to rights. Spanning over years of Elphaba’s life, Wicked features forbidden love, high-stake drama and challenges your idea of what evil really is.

3. IF THE SHOE FITS: Read any fairytale or retelling on your TBR.

Of course you should use your own TBR for this challenge but I’ve chosen some popular releases over the last couple of years that just might be on your TBR anyway.

CIRCE BY MADELINE MILLER

Not only is it a beautiful book but the story inside is truly captivating, bewitching and heartbreaking. This is a feminist retelling of the Greek myth of Circe, the sorceress living alone on the island of Aiaia with a talent for potion-making and a penchant for turning sailors into animals. In this version, Circe is banished to Aiaia by Zeus when he feels threatened by her unique brand of magic. There she develops her craft, tames the animals, grows herbs and even encounters travellers such as Daedelus, Icarus and Odysseus. After angering both mortals and gods, she needs to decide where she truly belongs to protect the thing she loves most. Madeline Miller is a gorgeous writer and Circe is a masterpiece.

THE HAZEL WOOD BY MELISSA ALBERT

Although not a fairytale or a retelling, The Hazel Wood has many fairytale elements and therefore, I feel it more than qualifies for FairytaleAThon. It follows 17-year-old Alice who has spent most of her life moving around with her mother because bad luck and disaster seems to follow them around. Alice’s grandmother is the author of a book of dark fairytales set in mysterious Hinterland. When her grandmother dies and her mother goes missing, Alice has almost nothing to go on. She teams up with classmate Ellery Finch, who also happens to be a superfan of her grandmother’s stories, to find her mother and discover the secrets of her grandmother’s creation. It’s the perfect remedy if you’re craving some fast-paced, whimsical action. THE SILENCE OF THE GIRLS BY PAT BARKER

Ok so it’s ANOTHER Greek myth retelling but this is another book that should really be on your radar.  The Silence of the Girls tells the story of the women affected by the Trojan war, who have been largely ignored by the original myth. It focuses primarily on Briseis, a Trojan queen who became a concubine to Achilles after he murdered her husband and brothers. Her life in the Greek camp is a world away from the one she led in Troy and she is now a slave to the army. When commander Agamemnon wishes to claim Briseis as his own prize, she finds her fate entirely at the mercy of the two most powerful men of Greece as the war wages on. It’s an engaging accessible version of the story with some lovely female friendships, intricate and illicit romances and an ending that will definitely touch your heart.

GEEKERELLA BY ASHLEY POSTON

This quirky, nerdy YA romance is enormous fun to read! Vegan food-truck worker Elle is a superfan of hit sci-fi series Starfield, a love she shared with her late father. When a cosplay competition is announced to celebrate the upcoming movie reboot, Elle has to enter. The prize is a ticket to the Cosplay Ball at the fandom’s convention ExcelsionCon and a meet and greet with the new Prince Carmindor. However, when it’s announced that the role will be played by teen idol Darien Freeman (who her stepsisters are obsessed with) Elle isn’t hopeful he’ll do the part justice because surely a pretty boy actor doesn’t know the first thing about Starfield, right? Told through the viewpoints of both Elle and Darien via alternating chapters, it’s full of dramatic irony and the subtle similarities to the story of Cinderella are so fun to pick out. Our group book for this round is its recently released companion The Princess and the Fangirl, so what better reason to pick up Geekerella if you haven’t already?

4. CREATURES OF THE DEEP: Read a book with mermaids, sirens or sea monsters.

As this is a summer round of FairytaleAThon, my co-hosts and I decided that we wanted to dedicate a challenge to stories that feature cool blue waters. We agreed that this book doesn’t have to be a fairytale, folktale or retelling; it just has to feature a mythical aquatic creature.

TO KILL A KINGDOM BY ALEXANDRA CHRISTO

This dark retelling of The Little Mermaid sees Princess Lira as a ruthless collector of princes’ hearts. However, when she kills a fellow siren, the Sea Queen punishes her by turning her into a human and taking away her singing voice. She needs to bring back the heart of Prince Elian in order to return to the sea. Prince Elian is himself a siren-hunter and when he rescues a drowning Lira, she promises to help him destroy all sirens but of course, she has her own motives for getting close to him. Although I’ve seen mixed reviews for this book, I really enjoyed it for the concept. Lira is a much more powerful, more formidable figure than Ariel and the story is much more brutal. I’d definitely recommend it for anyone who feels like Ariel deserved more.

THE PISCES BY MELISSA BRODER

The Pisces is an incredibly strange novel about Lucy who has recently split from her long-term partner and is lacking inspiration for her thesis. In the hopes that it will help her forget her problems, she agrees to spend the summer in LA, looking after her sister’s house and foxhound. While there, she goes on a string of grisly Tinder dates, attends a therapy group for love addiction and falls in love with a mysterious but gorgeous surfer dude… who appears to have scales over the entirety of his lower body… It’s funny, it’s weird, it’s sad in parts but it’s also somehow bloody brilliant. Be warned that there are some pretty graphic sex scenes, so perhaps avoid it if you’re sensitive to that!

THE GLOAMING BY KIRSTY LOGAN

This is a wonderfully charming magical realism book following Mara and her family, whose island is surrounded with magic and stories. When tragedy strikes her family, Mara finds solace in enigmatic Pearl who introduces her to a new way of life and possibilities she never dreamed of. Torn between the traditions of her island and the ever-changing course of the sea while still haunted by the past, Mara needs to decide which is the best path for her to take. Kirsty Logan is a lyrical genius so if you like beautiful imagery and strange diverse storylines, The Gloaming is a great choice for you.

THE MERMAID AND MRS HANCOCK BY IMOGEN HERMES GOWAR

Set in the 18th century, The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock is a beautifully written and surreal read that will appeal if you’re looking for a more literary, social history-led mermaid book. Merchant Jonah Hancock learns that one of his captains has sold his ship for what is apparently a mermaid. Naturally this piques the curiosity of the area and he is soon thrown into upper class circles, where he meets the beautiful, accomplished Angelica Neal. Soon enough, both of their lives take a new course at a high price. It’s a pretty big book so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it if you’re not already a historical fiction reader but it’s definitely a unique story of obsession and intrigue with bags of wit.

5. TRY THE GREY STUFF: Read with a yummy treat.

Naturally, your choice of reading snack is ENTIRELY your choice but these are four of my favourites to get your tummy rumbling!

ICE CREAM

The perfect treat for a hot day. Just don’t let it drip onto the pages!

COOKIES

Is there anything more tasty than a plate of warm, gooey, freshly baked cookies? Pretty sure there isn’t!

POPCORN

If your book is painting beautiful cinematic images in your mind or the drama is getting a little tense, you might want to grab some popcorn to add to the experience. MOZZARELLA STICKS

Possibly my favourite savoury snack ever. A few mozzarella sticks dipped in sweet chilli sauce is simply delicious!

6. A WHOLE NEW WORLD: Read a fairytale or retelling with a diverse character.

ASH BY MALINDA LO

This bisexual retelling of Cinderella is one of my favourites ever. Ash dreams of being taken away from her miserable life with her stepmother by fairies so when she meets handsome but dark fairy Sidhean, she thinks her life is about to change. Then she meets beautiful huntress Kasia and begins feeling things she hasn’t felt in a long time. But how can she choose between true love and her fairytale escape? It’s sexy, enchanting, incredibly intense and I absolutely devoured it.

A CURSE SO DARK AND LONELY BY BRIGID KEMMERER

This was our group book for the last round of FairytaleAThon, so if you joined us then, there is a good chance you’ll have already read A Curse So Dark And Lonely. It’s a recently released Beauty and the Beast retelling which has been getting a lot of hype in the book community. It follows Harper, a teenage girl living in Washington DC with her ailing mother and dismissive older brother. When she intervenes in a street incident, she finds herself being pulled into Emberfall, a broken kingdom ruled by Prince Rhen, who has been cursed to relive his 18th year until a girl falls for the vicious beast he has become. With evil forces at work, Harper and Rhen need to defeat more than a curse to save the people of Emberfall. Harper has cerebral palsy and as a result, she has developed a strength and feistiness that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in YA fantasy. It’s a must read for anyone who loves cursed hearts, easy-to-root-for characters and page-turning tension.

EVERY HEART A DOORWAY BY SEANAN MAGUIRE

The first in the Wayward Children series of novellas, Every Heart A Doorway is the perfect twisted fairytale. The premise explores what happens to the children who have been to magical lands on their return to the real world. Ever-changed by their experiences, they are often take to Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children, where everyone is seeking a door to the fantasy world they’ve left. When Nancy arrives, darkness and tragedy are just around the corner. There are asexual and transgender characters, multiple ethnicities represented as well as plenty of dark whimsical adventure. It’s certainly a strange little series but once you start it, you’ll be hooked.

THE WRATH AND THE DAWN BY RENEE AHDIEH

A retelling of an Arabian Nights story, The Wrath and the Dawn tells the story of the young king Khalid who murders a new wife every night. When her best friend becomes one of the slain, Shahrzad volunteers to be his next bride with every intention of not being the one who ends up dead. Through the power of storytelling, she survives night after night and inexplicably finds herself falling in love with Khalid, who appears to be nothing more than a tortured soul -much like the rest of his palace which seems to have more than a few secrets. It’s a novel full of tradition, elegance and fantastic world-building. You’ll definitely get swept up in this one!

7. RAGS TO RICHES: Read the group book.

THE PRINCESS AND THE FANGIRL BY ASHLEY POSTON

Our group book this round is The Princess and the Fangirl and I can’t wait to dive into it! It’s set in the same fandom as Geekerella but is not a direct sequel, so you can technically read it if you haven’t read the previous book. It follows fangirl Imogen who is on a mission to save her favourite Starfield characters Princess Amara from being killed off. However Jessica, the actress who plays her, is desperate to shake off the pressure and intensity from the fandom and would actually quite like to bow out of the series. I don’t want to know too much more about it but I know it involves an F/F romance and I’m guessing there’s a case of switching places or mistaken identities at some point, given that it has been touted as a retelling of The Prince and the Pauper. I am INCREDIBLY excited for this one and I hope you’ll be picking it up too!

Hopefully I’ve given you some ideas for your own TBR. I’ll be posting my own next week, so look out for that. This round looks like a good one!

#fairytaleathon #readathon #recommendations #book recommendations #fantasy #ya #mythology #mermaids #fairytales #books #bookworm

[junker-town]

Every animal face-off in BBC’s ‘Seven Worlds, One Planet,’ rated

Universal Images Group via Getty

The BBC’s Natural History unit is the stuff of legends. They have been producing beautifully-shot, innovative nature documentaries since before most of us were born, and with the weight of the BBC behind them their productions are only getting better. David Attenborough is a natural treasure in his own right, a brilliant presenter blessed with a voice that is now the gold standard for documentary narration.

All of this you know and don’t need to get from a sports website. But while Attenborough’s new show, Seven Worlds, One Planet, is being reviewed elsewhere, nobody else is willing to ask the most important question about it. Is this sports? And, if so, how sports?

SB Nation has you covered. We’ll grade each scene of each episode for aesthetics, competitiveness and difficulty, and give the definitive answer on what the world desperately wants to know: whether or not what we’ve just seen is sports.

Episode 1: Antarctica

Scene 1: Weddell Seals

You just can’t beat a good cuddle #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/2mwzbLN2UG

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

The Weddell seal is one of the most ridiculous, depressing creatures on the planet. It is, as far as I know, the most southerly-living mammal, staying close to the Antarctic landmass even in deep winter. Since it’s a seal, it needs to breathe air, and so it spends all winter gnawing away at the ice to prevent its breathing holes from freezing over. Chewing ice all your life is a good way of wearing your teeth down quickly, and when that happens, no more breathing. Weddell seals, as Attenborough says, die young.

Why do they live like this? It’s simple: spending winter on the Antarctic ice shelves means that there are no predators able to interfere with the breeding season (which technically takes place in ‘spring’, but if any spring deserves scare quotes ...). Of course, that also means their pups are born into the most brutal environment in the world, and until they learn to swim, they’re left exposed to storms.

Seal pups have their mothers for protection against the worst of the blizzards, but when a storm gets bad enough, the adults are forced to seek shelter underwater. The babies then have to fend for themselves against the howling fury of an Antarctic storm. This seems unpleasant.

Aesthetics: 5/10

Seals are cute, but not very sporty, especially if we see them mostly out of the water, where they’re at their worst. And Weddell Seals, while philosophically impressive, are not the most visually appealing pinniped.

Also they spend most of the time in a blizzard, which dampens the appeal. And there’s video of a seal birth. There has never, in the entire history of the world, been an aesthetically appealing birth.

Difficulty: 10/10

If you tried to do what those newborn seals did, you would die 100 percent of the time. I don’t care how tough you think you are: you’d be dead. Maximum difficulty points.

Competitiveness: 0/10

‘Baby seal vs. blizzard’ isn’t really a competition, and it’s not like they’re fighting each other. NB: Would watch baby seals fight each other. Think of the floof.

Overall: 15/30

Not sports. Incredible, but not sports.

Scene 2: King Penguins

Ahhh that relatable feeling of a giant ball of fluff stuck in your mouth. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/kI7nLTsyHM

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Half a million penguins jam themselves onto one beach on the island of South Georgia to raise their chicks. When the parents go off to fish, the chicks are meant to stay where they’ve been left. But sometimes they don’t! Naughty penguins!

Honestly, it’s hard to know what to make of king penguins. They’re beautiful, graceful animals (well, the adults are), despite what Herman Melville might have to say about general penguinkind in his Encantadas:

What outlandish beings are these? … Their bodies are grotesquely misshapen; their bills short; their feet seemingly legless; while the members at their sides are neither fin, wing, nor arm. And truly neither fish, flesh, nor fowl is the penguin … without exception the most ambiguous and least lovely creature yet discovered by man. As if ashamed of her failure, Nature keeps this ungainly child hidden away at the ends of the earth.

But kings suffer when there are emperors about, and there’s no exception here. King penguins are like emperor penguins except smaller and shittier, and as a result it’s hard to take them seriously. Naughty penguins.

Aesthetics: 8/10

More floof balls! Except this time there are more of them and they’re not being absolutely battered by a blizzard, which improves things. Also, they sometimes chase smaller floof balls, and that’s fun.

Difficulty: 5/10

The penguin chicks’ jobs involve standing still and waiting for their parents to come back. This sounds easy, but y’all can’t even sit there for like 10 minutes without checking your phones, so ...

Also, a bonus point for one of the penguins being enough of a badass to peck an elephant seal. Incredible.

Competitiveness: 2/10

Getting lost is annoying, but not competitive. I guess at one point they have a mild battle over a small ball of fluff?

Overall: 15/30

Not sports either.

Scene 3: Elephant Seals

Just two giant roly sea doggos having a disagreement, nothing to see here. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/dtt7bub88A

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Find me a nature documentary about the Antarctic without footage of male elephant seals FUCKING EACH OTHER UP. That’s right. There are none. Elephant seals can weigh up 8,000 pounds and get to 20 feet long. They are angry, hefty and horny, and they hate each other. They express this hatred through squaring up to one another and engaging in teeth-bared body-slamming, and it gets extremely bloody. Even though they’re protected by a layer of blubber almost 10 inches thick, elephant seals frequently hurt each other very badly.

This all leads to some good television and you’d be a fool not to take advantage of it. The BBC are not fools.

Aesthetics: 7/10

If you’re into big hefty boys going at it, go ahead and give this scene an extra point. But heft alone does not a perfect scene make, and the sheer gracelessness of an elephant seal battle means we’re going to have to ding it some points.

Difficulty: 10/10

Imagine being fallen on by a four-ton seal. Now imagine that seal has huge teeth and is simultaneously trying to tear your neck open with them. Another scene which would definitely kill you, me, and everyone else who might ever read this.

Competitiveness: 9/10

An all-out fight over breeding rights between two monster seals? Yes. Yes, this is the good stuff. It’s not the best or longest elephant seal battle ever recorded, but there has never been a bad one.

Overall: 26/30

Definitely sports.

Scene 4: Humpback banquet

Ahhh yes the ye olde spiral, bubble, snatchy-grab fishing method. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/XUfF3GfJQ1

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Humpback whales might not be the biggest whales in the ocean, but they’re probably the most interesting. Their social behaviour is (or seems) more interesting than the rorquals, and their hunting behaviour is also extremely cool. Here a shoal of humpbacks is concentrating a swarm of krill by using ‘bubble netting’. Since krill won’t swim through the bubbles they breathe out, the whales can control their movement, which makes them easier to eat.

This is a short scene, but it’s worth including.

Aesthetics: 9/10

I’ll be the first to admit it: I’m a whale person. Not, like, physically: the flippers would make typing difficult. But I’ve always loved whales. They’re huge, beautiful, and they do cool shit like make bubble spirals in the ocean. And these are particularly good bubble spirals.

Difficulty: 8/10

I can also blow bubbles underwater, but I imagine I’d be practicing for Gladwellian hours before I got good enough to herd krill. Also, imagine trying to fit that many in your mouth at once. Challenging.

Competitiveness: 2/10

I have to admit that a half-inch shrimp thing vs. a whale is not much of a fight, even if there are billions of the little fuckers.

Overall: 21/30

Probably sports? In my ideal world, synchronised bubble-netting would have a place at the Olympics.

Scene 5: Grey-Headed Albatross

All by myself...don’t wanna be, all by myself #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/sBQqSu2ojk

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Albatross? Albatrosses? Pluralising these things is annoying. Anyway, the scene. As it turns out, climate change is messing with, well, the climate, and that has had the effect of increasing wind speed on storms in the Southern Ocean, and making those storms more frequent.

Grey-headed albatross(es) breed right in the path of these storms, and that means that when chicks are left alone they have to hunker down in their nests against the fury of 70 mph winds. Unsurprisingly, many fail. And if they’re blown out of their nests, thanks to a twist of evolution, their parents don’t recognise them until they get back in. And that means they’re on their own until they can climb back. Are baby birds good at climbing? Reader, baby birds are not good at climbing.

Attenborough tells us that this particular grey-headed albatross colony is going through a massive decline. I believe it.

Aesthetics: 5/10

I’ve seen cuter fluffballs. In this very show, even! A bonus point for the adults being so beautiful, though. Seagulls may be ugly as sin, but make them large enough to glide and suddenly you have yourself some majesty.

Difficulty: 6/10

Ok, the windchill would be unpleasant, but I could climb into those nests.

Competitiveness: 8/10

The chicks are struggling against their own tiredness and lack of climbing ability. Is transcending yourself the core of all competition? Probably.

Overall: 19/30

Possibly sports? Mostly sad, to be honest. Here we have the Ottawa Senators of the natural world.

Scene 6: Gentoo Penguin vs. Orcas

A desperate dash, this penguin must use all its acrobatics in an attempt to evade the orca. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/WhNEFuhRtJ

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Oh, my God. This is possibly the coolest thing I have ever seen. Penguins are incredible underwater. They’re agile, smart and fast. Killer whales, however, are faster and smarter, which means the only possible hope a penguin chased by a whale has is to use its advantage in maneuvering to somehow find an escape route.

The cinematography in this scene is exquisite. As the chase is right up at the surface, with the penguin frequently jumping out of the water and right over the whales, drone footage lets us see the whole thing play out from above, giving us a full-field perspective on a dogfight which would make a WW2 fighter ace whistle in appreciation. This is unbelievable.

Unfortunately it’s also four orcas against one penguin. So, uh, you know how it ends.

Aesthetics: 10/10

I would hang this scene on my living room wall, and then stare at it for several hours a day. The sheer power of the orcas combined with the dazzling agility of the penguin and the overhead view makes this scene extraordinary even for a BBC nature production.

Difficulty: 10/10

Those underwater cuts! The repeated jumpings-over of whales. This is nature at its most difficult. That poor, heroic little penguin.

Competitiveness: 5/10

All right, so four big whales against one penguin is not much of a fight.

Overall: 25/30

Definitely sports. And although it’s tempting to ding it because of the lack of competitiveness, some of y’all will sit through the Patriots playing the Dolphins.

Scene 7: Gentoo Penguin vs. Leopard Seals

Me attempting to make friends #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/UixNpVVJkg

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Melville would enjoy the role mid-sized penguins serve in the Antarctic food chain. They sit in the middle, eating small fish and krill and in turn being eaten in large amounts by the continent’s coolest predators. We’ve already seen orcas, so now it’s time for leopard seals to get in on the action.

Leopard seals are vicious things. They’re 10 feet long and their jaws are almost crocodilian, evoking thoroughly un-seal-like feelings when you look at the rows of big, interlocking and very lethal teeth. They like eating penguins. And, like the albatross chicks, climate change isn’t helping the gentoos — the region’s glaciers are falling apart, leaving acres of ‘brash’ ice between the penguin colonies and the open ocean. This ice is hard for the penguins to navigate, and perfect for an ambush predator.

The penguins have to scrabble over blocks of ice that could crush and kill them while being stalked from below by a hungry monster seal. That sounds like a bad day to me!

Aesthetics: 6/10

We’ve seen Weddell seals and elephant seals, but leopard seals are very different and altogether nastier critters. They’re not without their charms, though, and watching a top predator at work is sort of fun. Even if they’re extremely brutal.

One mark off for the bit where both penguin and seal end up on an iceberg. Neither is anything but ridiculous-looking out of the water.

Difficulty: 9/10

Depending on your point of view, this is either very easy — the penguins are sitting ducks ��� or very hard. Trying to scrabble through the floating ice to get to open water looks utterly miserable.

Competitiveness: 6/10

Some of these penguins put up a pretty impressive, and pretty surprising fight. Good work, little critters.

Overall: 21/30

Probably sports? Swimming is a sport. Climbing is a sport. Ice-scrabbling ... not a sport, yet, but we’re open-minded here.

Scene 8: Under the ice

Sorry, can’t right now, bit tied down. #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/HqHlcVnv6B

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

Below the Antarctic ice, conditions are surprisingly friendly, and inveterate drama plays out in slow motion. Starfish and urchins are chased by huge predatory worms. Blind nudibranchs search for mates in miniature forests of sponges and anemones. Those anemones are hunted by jellyfish — or so the jellyfish thinks, anyway.

Aesthetics: 4/10

Cool, in a creepy, slow-motion way.

Difficulty: 2/10

Looking for food and mates must be quite hard when you can’t move very quickly and you can’t see very well.

Competitiveness: 2/10

Jellyfish vs. anemone is an interesting but quite one-sided battle.

Overall: 8/30

Not sports at all. Getting a look under the Antarctic ice is neat anyway.

Scene 9: Right whales

“They were so trusting and inquisitive that they swam right up to the whaler’s boats. And the whalers called them ‘right whales’ because they were the right whales to hunt.” #SevenWorldsOnePlanet pic.twitter.com/KU8bBA7BF0

— BBC Earth (@BBCEarth) October 27, 2019

20th Century whaling, which happened on an industrial scale, nearly wiped out every species of great whale. And southern right whales, the easiest, slowest, most-inquisitive targets, were hit the hardest. 99.9 percent of the population was killed — but frankly it’s a wonder any of them survived at all.

In the years since the whaling moratorium, however, the tiny fraction of survivors has proved robust enough to begin a small, fragile recovery. It’s grim times on the planet, and hope is nice to have.

I assume you were expecting a Melville quote here, and a rather gloomy southern right whale (still gloomier after it has its head removed) does indeed make an appearance in Moby-Dick. But, friends, I refuse to be that predictable.

Aesthetics: 2/10

Right whales are ugly, ponderous things, devoid of the grandeur of rorquals and humpbacks. And the bay in which this scene is shot is also too murky for good filming.

Difficulty: 0/10

Nothing happens!

Competitiveness: 0/10

Nothing happens!

Overall: 2/30

Pretty much the least sports possible. But a) it’s good to hear that the whale population is starting to recover and b) there was still more action than in that San Francisco-Washington game a few weeks back.

Overall sports tally: Some of this is sports

Two are definitely sports, three probablies, and four nos. That’s not a bad rate, and to be honest it’s a fantastic nature show and you should watch it, even if you’re mostly in it for the sports. Also, and I don’t want this to sound like a throwaway note at the end of an article, even though it is: CLIMATE CHANGE IS TERRIBLE AND WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. AS A COLLECTIVE, NOT JUST INDIVIDUALS. ME COMPOSTING DOESN’T SEEM TO BE DOING SHIT. Thanks.