#bc he feels guilty for her death and has turned himself into a hollow shell; only alive for one purpose

[p-inkbrush]

Sometimes I get caught up thinking about the dead wife trope, especially in fallout. And I know it's something we all love to pick on, because the fridged woman to enhance the Man Pain is very tired.

But if you think about it with an in-universe frame of mind, it makes more sense for so many people, especially the older people, to have been married and lost a spouse. Yes the companions' stories are all emotionally fraught, but it would not actually be uncommon to hear. Lucy, killed by ghouls. Barbara, targeted by anti-synth hate crime. Nick Valentine's fiancee died pre-war! There's plenty of pre-war ghouls we get to meet, and I'm sure most of them have lost a partner along the way to the present.

I wish really that the death and loss was treated (both by fandom and canon) not as a man pain enhancement, but as a vector for exploring grief and hope and recovery in the worst of conditions.

#all of this because i was thinking about how deacon being a widower is not actually why hes unromanceable #he isnt unique in his loss #maccready is right there being a romantic partner #deacon is different because he views himself as an almost ghost. hes not human anymore. he lost the right to live when barbara died #bc he feels guilty for her death and has turned himself into a hollow shell; only alive for one purpose #if he strayed from that. if he loved again and let himself hope for *his* future. it'd call all that down in his head again #he has to *earn* the right to love again. he has to pay his penance first #(ofc this is not true but it would take more than 3 affinity conversations to convince him of it( #bumble buzz #fallout 4 #hi... normally wouldn't bother putting this on tumblr but my wife was at the store