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#bc i put an outfit that was kinda against school rules but vry much for the euphoria of it all together today
blasphamoustraitors
·
1 year
Text
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#august living
#me chanting to myself on this t d ov
#its ok to have dysphoria its ok to have dysphoria its ok to have dysphoria
#bc i put an outfit that was kinda against school rules but vry much for the euphoria of it all together today
#and then i did some fun more like metal head masc type makeup when i got home bc we got let out early
#bc the building our schools in had the water shut off at lunch for maintenance
#so i felt rlly fucking Man today and like. in a way that is so so so so close. so close. to how i wanna be.
#that now that its later and ive taken and posted selfies and can look at them and go hes right there. hes right fucking there.
#im having a dysphoria flare
#god. god!! i haven't gone to any dr since my last check up for last years seizure
#i haven't seen my gp in. like 2. years
#the thought of seeing her and being like yes my records do say i had a medical event im here for gender tho.
#is so fucking daunting.
#but finding a new dr for gender sounds. worse.
#the thought of diying is not a distant one but i know who i am and i wont keep track of like labs or other shit like that by myself
#i want to not be a coward with medical stuff but i am!! i am and i hate it!! its ruining my fucking life and i cant fucking stop it
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