#bowman said hes proud of me and i immediately broke.because like

[toppatturmoil]

#feelihhgn emotions sgain but jm running outof stupid picyures sotherefor i csn no longer he open abt my feelings/jokr #ok anyways. probably gonnadeletw this wgen i wake up #since imCcryjng but tryingto not Sob intp yhe micropjhone #bowman said hes proud of me and i immediately broke.because like #my parents never said that. they never gave me that #they never gave me support when i was growing up. sure they do now but im almost an adult. thats really late #never got those 'im proud of you' comments so it means a lot to hear it especiallt from him #because. yknow.hes My Dad #and ALSO. he would never yell at me for 10 minutes for just barely bumping my bag on a car #at least i hope not SKGWKGKSHFW #oknope had to mute because i started cryinng rlly hard #i lkeep thinking abt it.the fact that he said hes proud of me.calling me bright #i never got that. i got called lazy because i didnt understand my work #sso hearing it now judt. it hurts but it doesnt #likr it feels niceto hear it but at the same time it feels like i. dont deserve that #feelds like i dont deserve the kindness hes granting me. because i havent gotten any for yknow #17 years! #so it feels. soWrong to hear it. but at the same time i want to hear it more. NEEDto uear it more #it feels selfish saying that idk #ok im done.going back to crying my eyes out #tbd