#but anyway I was doing just fine ptsd wise and obsessive part of ocd wise but I started thinking about some shit n talked about it in

[casekt]

#I don't like to consider myself an anxious person because I haven't had like generalized anxiety much in my life or maybe I have n I don't #remeber. forever had social anxiety #but this year I'm so incredibly anxious just doing nothing or anything #about nothing but also about things that trigger my PTSD and OCD #I feel so much more sensitive to becoming that way idk if it's because of my antidepressants or because of how many hours and hours of this #specific abusive relationship media I've watched lmao #I really enjoy it when watching it it's amazingly done and I can't stop thinking about it I'm totally in love with the characters n their #relationships n the story etc but later after it's settled in my brain I'm too anxious to watch it anymore #stupid brain #personal shit #audio #but anyway I was doing just fine ptsd wise and obsessive part of ocd wise but I started thinking about some shit n talked about it in #therapy n thats of course a good thing I don't want to hust bury it but damn bro getting through it sure isn't easy #also stupid brain bc when I'm ''not suffering enough'' I feel like damn I should be suffering more my mental illness is not bad enough #but then when it's worse again its like fuck no lets go back to the not suffering as much #y'know how it is #spotify play killpop by slipknot at a high volume to drown out having shitty feelings but also the song makes me anxious as well because #it's literally about a shitty relationship and reminds me So much about my favorite characters in this media and their relationship #we were meant to be together now die and fucking love me #p***/e***** brainrot FOREVER