#but geez it'd be pretty pathetic if even a romance I made up in my head didn't end up with someone choosing me

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anybody else slowly disassociating more and more as you slowly lose all of your touchstones in this world?

#it can't be just me right #also i am stoned and can't sleep why is it already past 2am damn #disassociation #no close family any more #one half sister where we have a weird relationship because i basically raised her for a while #so when we're around each other we just remind each other of our horrific childhoods and various mental health issues from that #all of my friends either live too far away are too busy with their own lives and loves (understandable) or have just forgotten me #starting to feel like I imagined that whole fling with d #but geez it'd be pretty pathetic if even a romance I made up in my head didn't end up with someone choosing me #then again I have trouble enjoying fantasies too far from the realm of possibility and maybe it's just not realistic to have someone want me #as more than a passing entertainment lol #anyway every day i feel less like a real person and more like a ghost or something imaginary or like a stranger in my own body #dang man i wish i could afford therapy i probably could use some huh #although my last therapist was pretty lackluster honestly #mental health #life of faye