This past weekend was the con! I received so much love for my Tifa cosplay, which felt really nice and motivates me to think of something even better next year.
Hands down my favorite part of the con was a Sailor Moon drag performance during the masquerade. They were amazing! I spent a lot of time in the dealers hall and it was soo hard to make decisions about what I was going to buy because they had a lot of figures and plushies I wanted. I ended up leaving with a Hatsune Miku figure I’ve been wanting for a while, a moogle plushie, volume II of the Final Fantasy ultimania archive (to compliment volume I that RJ got me for my birthday💕) and ECCO THE FRICKIN DOLPHIN for sega genesis! I don’t know if our sega even works but I had to buy it. I was talking about how I used to rent it on the weekends and the merchant shipped it out of nowhere. Holding the original box alone gave me all the feelies because I haven’t seen that game since I was like 7 lol
Today is my first day off since I started partial. It was a little overwhelming at first and I cried within the first 20 minutes of being there lol but I’m looking forward to the rest of my stay. I left with a headache the first day, but overall I feel like I’m going to benefit and grow🌱 I’ve been going to the gym every day after therapy and I feel good.
That’s about it for now ♡ I really hope things keep going at this pace. I’m starting to feel good about life again and it’s refreshing. Don’t ever give up! Things always turn around for the better if you work hard to care for yourself. There is still hope✨
What are your fave shows to watch for motivation? I am not gonna use the word Th**spo bc it can be toxic and someone will report me lmao. But, that said, what shows do you like to watch in order to motivate weight loss or the prevention of bingeing?
I personally love the British shows such as Supersize vs Super Skinny and Eat Yourself Sexy.
Lately I’ve also been watching old episodes of America’s Next Top Model because it shows that hard work pays off to maintain a nice physique. And yeah, a lot of those girls are naturally skinny but still, they don’t let themselves go.
Sometimes on Youtube I watch channels like Hungry Fat Chick or Amberlynn Reid just to gross myself out and let the fear of looking like them prevent me from eating more.
Lemme know what you like to watch as motivation!
I bumped my head and my lips are hella chapped, what’s up?
How many drinks does it take to make my problems go away?
And I’ve made mine a double.
Why is everything so confusing? I’m super chatty today, am I hypomanic? I had a two hour nap, am I depressed?
I’m serious about actively managing my bipolar these days, and so I’m trying to keep an eye out for early warning signs. But I’m realizing that I don’t know what they are.
I’m really good at describing what my depression entails, but not how I get there. What my hypomania feels like? Absolutely I can tell you. What proceeded it? No idea.
And it sounds stupid, but I’m doing well now, and I feel that looking for symptoms will jinx it. Because everything is confusing.
But I told myself, and my counselor, I would do the work. So I guess I have to examine my feelings every day. Yuck.
Hey, love! I’m really glad you’re reaching out, realizing that you need to ask for help is a big step. Here’s some advice!
1. Practice acceptance.
Acceptance is the hardest thing to do when you find yourself in this situation, but it’s the most important step to make. The best approach you can make is one of compassion. For example, react to episodes by saying, “It’s OK. I understand a piece of me had to go and disappear for a bit. It’s fine.” And if you feel frustrated, allow yourself to feel that way, but don’t beat yourself up for being triggered. Sometimes triggers happen out of the blue (which sucks), Recovery takes a lot of practice and patience. You’ll get there.
2. Create and repeat affirmations.
These things don’t always work when it comes to treating mental illness but it can help a lot of people. Choose a phrase that really means something to you. Treat it like a verbal anchor.
3. Go to therapy.
Do your homework and find a therapist that specializes in trauma, dissociation, etc. — It can help so much to have an unbiased professional opinion. They can give you tips and exercises tailored to your needs when you ask.
4. Flashbacks will happen. Sometimes you have to let them run their course.
And they might make you feel sick and overwhelmed, but you have to try and remember they aren’t happening in real-time. Your body may react in ways that make it feel like everything is happening again, and I wish I could tell you there’s a quick fix to turning those sensations off, but they’re something you have to allow to run their course. Do whatever you can to ground yourself, but do not make yourself the enemy during this phase. Write about them, talk to a friend, run and listen to angry music. They will end.
Do something that mentally engages you. Focus on the plants/trees around you when you run, focus on your body during yoga, focus on your breathing during lifting weights. Try to be present instead of allowing your brain to rummage around in the darkness. Exercise on foggy/dissociative days too if you can. You don’t have to be in a good mood to exercise. Be honest with yourself about how you feel and put that feeling into the movements you’re doing. Feel angry? Run hard. Feel sad?
6. Accomplish things at your own pace.
Regular life things tend to take a backseat when we’re dealing with a mental illness. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your situation to everyone around you, especially people who fall under the “neurotypical” category. You are not falling behind, you are not failing and you are not going to be stuck in this place forever. You are allowed to take time to figure things out and to take care of yourself.
7. Forgive yourself.
Whether you have a full-blown dissociative disorder or you experience minor episodes, you have to forgive yourself for the time you have lost. This has never been and will never be your fault. You are doing your best. You are surviving.
You never feel like doing therapy less than the day it’s scheduled.
My psychologist and I went on a five or so minute tangent today to talk about her cats, and honestly? Worth it. Would reccommend.
I always read articles about what it’s like being in a psych ward or what lead up to someone being admitted; rarely do I hear about what happens after they’re discharged. After recently being discharged from a psych ward I decided I wanted to share my story.
The first hours after being discharged from the hospital are some of the most overwhelming. After living in what felt like to me a bubble, it was time to deal with all of my problems again.
The phone. First was turning back on my phone. I only spent five days in the ward, there were patients there that had been there for over forty five days, but my phone had exploded with missed messages and calls from both loved ones and work. Sifting through all the messages to was hard to endure, sometimes even painful to listen to the voicemails of people concerned about you. I cringed with guilt as I listened to my boss pleading for me to call her back. I knew I had a lot of phone calls to make, some happier than others. The difficult part was making the phone calls to the people who had no idea where I had been the past five days. I wasn’t brave enough to give full details to everyone I talked to but I tried to be as open and honest as possible. Then there were the good phone calls to make, the “I made it out alive!” Phone calls that were easy and endearing.
The babysitting. Secondly there’s the babysitting that happens, both intentionally and unintentionally. After seeing people for the first time after being out you can feel their hesitation on what to ask you. You can feel them walking on eggshells. It hurts to know you make people feel this way but at the same time I’m grateful for it. The ones who walk on eggshells generally don’t ask the prying, embarrassing questions. On the other hand they’re usually the ones carefully watching you while pretending they aren’t, which feels almost unbearable. Sometimes it makes me feel like a ticking time bomb. It makes me happy that I have people who are very obvious about their intentions. The ones who come by just to hang out, help with household chores, play with your kids, or just let you rest.
The doctor’s appointments. If you thought you saw a lot of different doctors and nurses while on the ward, being out isn’t any different. I had to meet with a new therapist, along with seeing my old psychiatrist and general physician; giving all three the same schpeel over and over again. Even though this is one of the most crucial parts of recovery I also found it to be the most annoying. I just spent the last five days surrounded by doctors, getting poked and prodded, just to do it all over again. The good news is that the longer I’m out of the ward, the more time grows in between visits.
The questions. Did you take your meds? Did you drink today? Did you want to drink? Did you sleep? How long? How well? Did you take your meds? Did you eat? How much? Did you take your meds? What did the doctor say? What did your therapist say? Did you take your meds today? They go on and on and I have to remind myself the questions come from a place of love even though they feel accusatory at times.
The first shower. If you had the same experience I had, then the showers on the ward were tepid at best. It was like the water wanted to get hot but just couldn’t get there. Then it came out in a drizzle, barely enough pressure to rinse the baby shampoo out of your hair. The first shower out of the ward is nearly orgasmic. The hot water, the soapy shampoo, the feel of the water beating down on you makes for a truly divine experience after being deprived for a few days.
The love and support. Lastly there’s the outpouring of love and support I experienced. I’m one of the lucky ones. I had a home to go to. I have an amazing support network of loved ones close and far away. I can make a phone call to have someone come over to “babysit” me. I can make a phone call just vent and to work on some of my issues. Not everyone has that. Some people are just sent off to group homes or back to troubled waters. I’m fortunate enough not to have a safe environment to go home to, like I said I’m damn lucky.
Anovi June is trying to live life to fullest while managing her bipolar disorder. She lives at home with her husband, two kids, and two cats. She enjoys cooking, writing, and riding bikes.
I didn’t do anything to cause my migraine.
I am not being punished; I don’t need to suffer through it.
I am not disappointing anyone by taking medicine and going back to bed.
I don’t need to wait for a migraine to get “bad enough” before taking my medicine; the pills I have aren’t the only ones I’ll ever have. There’s a refill and the doctor will prescribe more.
Why is it so hard to remember these things when I actually have a migraine?
- General Anxiety
- Borderline Personality traits
- Obsessive tendencies
Oh, and we’re gonna get me on some better meds once I’m out of the clinic in three weeks. FUN TIMES~!
Over the past few days my mental health has not been the best, Feeling very low and as a result of this is lack of self care and motivation.
I’m aware that most people feel like this at some points and i thought listing some things that may help you feel better may help some people.
- Not forcing yourself to study or to do work if you are feeling particulary low or sad sometimes the best thing to do is to break away from doing work , personally when i do this i find that i get very stressed about not doing any study and worrying about set tasks gathering up but the idea is , is to give yourself a break , relax for a few days and when you ‘head is on straight again’ it doesnt take long to get back on track
- Spend time with friends Having people around you can really help , they can take your mind off everything and you can enjoy yourslef, i live quite far away drom my school and friends so meeting up isnt the easisest thing but instead my group does group face time calls which are just as nice.
- Watch a film or read a book i find that watching or reading something completley throws me away from reality and i find it really relaxing.
- Music listening to music is really theraputic and relaxing , listening to happy and upbeat music can really lift your mood , if you enjoy the genre of music.
-Talking about how your feeling just speaking to people can be really nice even if its online but letting feelings out or venting can help improve your mood just knowing someone knows how you are
Anyone ever feel like everything they do is always wrong? Because…..that’s me. All. The. Time.
“But the power’s in believing, so give yourself a chance”
— Michael Jackson, Keep The Faith
- Ich auch.
Aber viel cooler ist es dann Musik aufzudrehen und sich einfach im Rhythmus des Schwindels treiben zu lassen