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#mental health
how do I talk about an ED or bulimia with a person who knows nothing about it?? how can I vent to them?

This is a really difficult question, and one that I am definitely not qualified to answer, but here’s my attempt at giving advice anyway.

First, it would be important to learn their general views about eds, and other mental illnesses. Do they think lowly of sufferers? Do they treat mentally ill people differently just because of their illness? Are they one of those people that think depression can be cured by yoga and ana by eating a ‘burger?
Ensuring that you know the answers to most of these questions, will help you determine your course of action. If they seem hostile towards sufferers, it’s honestly best to try not to bother with them, and look for another person to help you with your situation. This is kind of similar to the advice given to people wanting to come out as lgbtq+, and I think you can find some great tips about finding out the person’s views in articles and guides written about that. Just apply it to mental illnesses.   

(Some articles either about coming out, or mental help: 1 3 4 5 6)

Once you have determined that your secrets are safe with the person and that they won’t react overly negatively, it’s time to have the talk. Prepare yourself for it, and come up with answers to possible questions beforehand. Like “how do you know?”, “how long have you been struggling?”. Consider that they won’t know what words/questions are sensitive, and they might ask you dreaded questions like “how are you not underweight/how can you be ill and so big?” and others like it (even if you are underweight, them asking about your weight is sure to make anyone with an ed uncomfortable). Don’t hold this to them, and try to remain calm, but tell them that the language they used is distressing to you. 

Before you start the conversation, you also have to ask yourself: what exactly do you want to get out this? Do you just want to tell your problems to someone, or is this a first step in getting professional help? How will them knowing impact your living situation? Do you want anything to change? Be clear about your intentions while confronting them. If you want treatment to tell them, and explain your reasons why. If you don’t want treatment, do the same. This is another point where doing research, and forming arguments beforehand is critical - dont let yourself be swayed from you have previously determined as best for you right now after talking to another person once, but be open to their advice and suggestions. Disagree respectfully if needed. Offer them links, or sites where they can do their own research about the topic as well, but reaffirm them that you are open to answer their questions. If the conversation becomes too much for you, be sure to tell them! If they care about you, they will probably let you leave this situation that is clearly making you uncomfortable and leaving them a list of links can help in this scenario as well, by letting them do something in the meantime, that will make them feel like they are helping you. 

Here are some more articles that might help you research this topic, and come up with some answers to common questions.

(DSM-5 criteria for eds, statistics about eds, bulimia nervosa, underweight health risks and treatment,, ed treatment options,  national eating disorder association, a parental guide for ed,  )

I have found this amazing pre-written letter, that helps you formulate your thoughts, for when you dont know what to say:

Dear _________,

For the past (day/week/month/year/__________), I have been feeling (unlike myself/sad/angry/anxious/ moody/agitated/lonely/hopeless/fearful/overwhelmed/ distracted/confused/stressed/empty/restless/unable to function or get out of bed/__________).

I have struggled with (changes in appetite/changes in weight/loss of interest in things I used to enjoy/ hearing things that were not there/seeing things that were not there/ feeling unsure if things are real or not real/ my brain playing tricks on me/ lack of energy/increased energy/ inability to concentrate/alcohol or drug use or abuse/self-harm/skipping meals/overeating/overwhelming focus on weight or appearance/feeling worthless/ uncontrollable  thoughts/guilt/paranoia/nightmares/ bullying/not sleeping enough/ sleeping too much/risky sexual behavior/overwhelming sadness/losing friends/unhealthy friendships/unexplained anger or rage/isolation/ feeling detached from my body/feeling out of control/ thoughts of self-harm/cutting/thoughts of suicide/plans of suicide/abuse/sexual assault/death of a loved one/__________).

Telling you this makes me feel (nervous/anxious/hopeful/embarrassed/ empowered/pro-active/mature/self-conscious/guilty/__________), but I’m telling you this because (I’m worried about myself/it is impacting my schoolwork/it is impacting my friendships/I am afraid/I don’t want to feel like this/I don’t know what to do/I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this/I trust you/__________).

I would like to (talk to a doctor or therapist/talk to a guidance counselor/talk to my teachers/talk about this later/create a plan to get better/talk about this more/find a support group/__________) and I need your help.

(Your name__________)

I hope this helped, and that using this guide, you can open a conversation about your problems with a trusted figure! Stay safe, and happy recovery!

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jus some inspiration for myself & a note that i lost this weight in a HEALTHY way. please, please stay safe & try to recover friends. it’s not easy, but it is worth it.

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i wanna try and be active on this blog again but with more focus on mental health rather than weight loss

the reason is that over the past 6 months i have s developed and suffered from anxiety and it is slowly taking over my life 

so i will use this blog to help myself cope with my anxiety 🌱✨
healthy eating and exercise will still be the main focus as they are a big part of it and i will still watch out for my weight 
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Gratitude is a delicate subject to write about because many survivors have been abused by shaming advice to “just be grateful for what you have.” Consequently many survivors totally reject the concept of gratitude and throw the baby out with the scorn-sodden bathwater. Once again, this is quite understandable when you legitimately had little to be grateful for in your childhood.

Moreover, the concept of gratitude is damagingly used by some psychologists to support the psychological defense of denial. They tout gratitude as a fast track that can bypass traumatic pain. This is worse than absurd when applied to C-PTSD survivors. It is in fact shamefully abusive to survivors because profound, extended trauma cannot be resolved until it is fully understood and worked through.

Gratitude is nevertheless a wonderful natural experience that can recurrently enhance the quality of your life. You can cultivate a perspective that is open to noticing what there is to be grateful about as long as you do not do it with the intention of creating a permanent feeling of gratitude. Over time an attitude of gratitude can gradually increase authentic gratefulness.

This can best be illustrated with the example of love. while it is of course healthy to adopt a cognitive attitude of love toward our friends and chosen family, it is impossible to feel loving all the time. If I expect that of myself, I give my inner critic endless fodder to attack me for not feeling loving enough. Similarly if I expect myself to feel grateful all the time, I keep the critic’s prodigious program of self-disappointment hale and hearty.

–Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, pg 186

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Sugar is very good at getting into your bloodstream, so other stuff that needs to get in there will regularly hitch a ride with it to get there sooner (or at all). 

So far, so good. 


Your body can only process so much sugar before it says fuck this shit and flushes it out, and when it does, all that other useful shit that was in the passenger seat gets flushed out as well.


One substance that regularly jumps into the sugar car for a ride is tryptophan, an amino acid that’s the main building block for serotonin, and therefore, your entire happiness and good feels.


If you eat more than 50 g of sugar a day (average consumption: 80 g), then your body will just toss most of it, including that serotonin-building substance that was desperate to make it into your blood and make you feel good.

Good sources of tryptophan: dark chocolate, oats, dried dates, milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, red meat, eggs, fish, poultry, sesame, chickpeas, almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, buckwheat, spirulina, peanuts. 

Bad sources of sugar: soft drinks, white bread and pasta, breakfast cereals, sweets, fast food, processed foods, condiments, fruit juice.


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23 April 2019

I saw my psychiatrist for the first time in two years today. I told her that I think I should start taking medication for my anxiety and she prescribed me Prozac. It’ll be a plus if it helps with my depression, too. But I’m more worried about anxiety right now. Hopefully it works. 🤞🏻

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Goddammit i hate my lack if empathy so much. If i could go one fucking day with being able to understand what and how others are feeling that would be just peachy. It’d be great. Although, who knows, maybe it wouldn’t. It’d make me seem less of a monster, though.

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