#but i feel very much odd and inmundane

[fellasleepinbaltimore]

#also my grandma called my sister saying she's sad i havent called her and i literally #i started crying seasoning meat #i hate human emotion sometimes #like ive been fine most of the week which im grateful for bc #good thoughts must be ny sword and shield of the richness of my kingdom will fall #so yeah but i just am actually so dejected rn #like i feel it constantly behind my eyes and i can feel myself listening for every little sound so #i can prepare myself like always on my toes these days #and its fine if i don't think to hard about it #if i just move from the next thing forward if i go about things as normal #but i feel very much odd and inmundane #i feel like im at the edge of a cliff or about to cross the street and im just waiting for which way ill be pushed