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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years

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IAD Hero Power Rankings: 14...?

In the home stretch!!!

I actually read not one, but two books in rapid succession (one was a novella but whatever) and I'm adding threeee heroes because while Sweet Ruin was Rune/Josie, Shadow's Seduction was the first IAD book with a queer love story--Caspion/Mirceo.

And I wasn't sure how to rank them, because they're not like... competing against each other, and their story is obviously intertwined. Ultimately, I'm ranking them because I liked one a little bit more than the other, BUT!!! They'll be close together. As they are in the story. Just railing each other after orgies. Like best friends do.

Also, RUNE. Poor traumatized sweet baby assassin rune.

Lothaire Daciano, the Enemy of Old, vampire, Lothaire

Pros:

–well you can’t say he isn’t goal-oriented

–takes kids trick or treating

–does not support rape or child murder; and he actually likes dogs a lot!

–“ELIZABETH. WITH MY COMPLIMENTS. YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR CLAWS INTO ANOTHER ONE OF MINE. ROT IN HELL. L.” he says as he tries to make a point when sending her his Heart in a Box ™, failing to make that point because it’s clear that he’s just sitting in his murder castle listening to teardrops on my guitar on repeat

–listen between the tittyfucking and the “let me drink my heroine’s virgin’s blood after I very literally pop her cherry” moment, you can’t call him boring

–actually hilarious, basically just a very scary vampire with a to-do list punting decapitated heads around like they’re soccer balls

–just did some shifter beheadings!!! it not like he goes around cockslapping gnomes!!!!

–loves a couch sex moment

Cons:

–does support murdering everyone else if need be, casting out innocent souls to achieve his aims, unleashing untold evil, trench coats, biting unwilling people and being like “look if it gets weird go with it”

–clinically insane

–will forget someone he was talking to like half an hour ago because he’s lost all concept of time and space, will talk to himself during sex to be like “DON’T KILL HER @ me!!!”

–Ellie spends like 30% of this book covered in his semen, to the point that she literally just goes to sleep in it in order to piss the demon inhabiting her body off

–I thought he couldn’t sleep because of his madness but when you get to his POV he’s like “MY DICK IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO SLEEP”

–watches everyone have sex, which, considering this series, is a lot of people. I don’t even think it’s sexual it’s just his shit

–his only friend is a teenage quarterback, but then again, that QB is Thad and Thad is God

–put the Valkyrie queen underwater to drown eternally and forgot where she was lmao (this came out before The Old Guard…..)

–was into “juvenile skullfucking”

–Update: responded to an official royal missive from the vrekener king with a MESSAGE IN BLOOD that was like “oh shit y'all exist?–L”… too Goth to rule….

2. Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros:

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–is actually truly the most woke werewolf hero; rightly points out to Lucia that she’s not exaaaactly being chaaaaste when he’s tearing that shit up every night even if there’s no penetration; keeps himself from going full moon crazy with magic in order to keep Lucia from being pressured into sex with him, and even when that magic breaks super holds back until she makes a conscious decision; does not do the Ritual Doggy Style Full Moon thing because he wants to look into her eeeeeeyes and ground her and even puts her on top, a KING

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

–“lass, I’m about to make you a widow” …. this shit works every time

–even a GOD can’t make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–does not believe that women should have jobs after they find their werewolf soulmates, but to be fair, he is completely right, why the hell would I work if I had a rich werewolf soulmate who hunts big game for me and does all the cooking and cleaning and work and shit

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–is honestly big stupid about a lot of things… plan for keeping his woman from pursuing her immortal mission was “I’ll just fuck her until she passes out and then I’ll go do big mission for her”, admirable but not flaw-free logic

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

3. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she’s evil and he’s all “awwww baby I don’t understand why they don’t like you :(” when she’s committed, like, war crimes… down ridiculous…

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

–has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

4. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

5. Uilleam “Will” MacRieve, “MacRieve”, werewolf, MacRieve

Pros:

–literally called “bucket list” among immortal women because he’s the one you have to fuck in case you might die someday

–incredibly family-oriented and so HYPE to put a baby in there, which could be horrible but with the werewolves it’s always hot

–has the sweetest relationship with his twin ever like please Munro and MacRieve always having each other’s backs and knowing what the other is feeling and being devoted to each other stop

–incredibly dangerous hot hot hot but so gentle with Chloe in those first chapters, literally just left a bag over her head so that she couldn’t see him in beast mode and get scared

–listen… he’s got Issues, but he does the fucking work in the end and ows them and in myyyy opinion the Issues are pretty fucking valid

–LEASHES THE BEAST FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRR I WEEEEEPT

–the mouth on this dude (in all ways)

Cons:

–is maybe the most traumatized hero I’ve read in these books, which is saying something, and that means that he reacts PRETTY FUCKING BADLY to the Chloe reveal and does treat her badly before it gets better

–has like very little control over his beast for most of this book so he’s just like werewolfin’ out all over the place while Munro goes “I don’t even know why I bother”

–that time he threw up after taking Chloe’s virginity (not his fault but YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES MCGIIIIIKES)

–is called bucket list because he only knows how to fuck and can’t have emotional sex or even sex like a person he only knows how to have beast sex which to be fair sounds like fun sex but is not necessarily like… romantic and shit

–it’s implied that he does the battle shit for running the MacRieve settlement and Munro is the one who actually reads the legal shit, which like I’m glad that works and all but it seems pretty irresponsible lmao

–there is no living villain in this book, the villain is MacRieve’s trauma, which is very good and deep but also TOUGH BRO

6. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

7. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

8. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

—just extremely determined… his heroine can’t bear skin to skin contact? He’s gonna use an icicle as a dildo. He fucked up so bad she fled to an ice kingdom? Well, he’s gonna fucking find her

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–I mean does bitch a lot about how sexually frustrated he is but his heroine is an ice princess who can’t stand skin to skin contact without extreme pain so……………………… I do get it blue balls kill

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

9. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

10. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

11. Thronos Talos, vrekener (cough demon with wings cough), Dark Skye

Pros:

–virgin hero!!!

–surprisingly kinda naturally kinky (not surprising, it’s always the God warriors)

–gets hilariously flustered constantly throughout this novel

–was the sweetest little baby boy when he and Lanthe were kids he just wanted to bring her food (dead rabbits) and hold her in his baby wings

–secretly swears a lot for a heavenly angel

–is just trying his best to run a kingdom and getting responses back from Lothaire like “wow your species exists??? wild bro” and “I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF YOUR BODY AND LAUGH IN YOUR FACE” from Rydstrom so honestly? snaps for Thronos

Cons:

–was a bit heavy on the slutshaming what with his God warrior origin story

–is cursed with secondary bonerism what with his wings being…. very sensitive…. tertiary bonerism as he also has the demon horns?

–was going through a demon identity crisis throughout this book which I personally found hilarious but it was rough for him

–insisted on losing his virginity through that Mormon sheet thing

12. Trehan Daciano/Prince of Shadows, vampire, Shadow’s Claim

Pros:

–has MAGICAL INVISIBLE-MAKING MIST

–beats the shit out of everyone in this book, basically…. hot

–is apparently a really good uncle when he’s not trying to kill his relatives

–was actually extremely romantic with Bettina and liked her dumb little weapons designs. Would see her be like “I think I should make a poisoned bracelet” and go “fucking genius”

–goes from being super rational to FULL ON FUCKING INSANE and that’s hot

–says at one point that he’ll figure out what to do with their various relationship issues once he’s inside her, which I certainly was not mad at

–that time he told Bettina to refrain from touching herself until he could do it for her, we love to see it

Cons:

–was the second!!! person in this series to take Lothaire’s romantic advice, which was admittedly correct but suggests his own lack of judgment

–sat in his library and sadly masturbated for weeks (while Lothaire watched)

–watched Bettina sleeping, which I wasn’t personally upset with, but I guess that’s inappropriate

–that time they were like “your challenge is to give the princess what she’d want most” and he gave her a bag of heads and went “…. fuck” when everyone in the room didn’t get it

–held back on biting Bettina for forever, which was dumb and unhorny of him

13. Declan Chase/Aidan the Fierce/Gabriel/Edward/whoever the fuck else he was, berserker, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

Pros:

–I mean you can’t really go wrong with someone who is so determined to have his heroine that he just defies death and keeps coming back throughout the ages

–probably the only employee at Torture Island to get in trouble for workplace sexual harassment…. impressive

–that time he cried after suffocating Regin (it must be truuuuue love truuuuuue love)

–that bathtub scene where he was like “wait no actually I’m taking over this weird sexual interplay thing we have going on”

–his days-long island hike grovel where he was like just sadly walking around and being like *eye emoji* at Regin…. hilarious

Cons:

–I actually totally got why Regin forgave him (true love + dick too bomb) but personally I feel like it’s basically impossible that Lachlain and Rydstrom and Sabine are gonna let the shit he pulled slide forever so suspension of disbelief was rough there

–he did vivisect a MacRieve, and I am nothing if not a MacRieve Stan For Lyfe

–the drug addiction issues are rough

–that time he had to let Lothaire bite his neck whenever he wanted and Lothaire was like “if I call you a girl’s name just go with it” and it DIDN’T turn into sex? Sads

14. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

–we love a virgin hero always

–gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

–very good at giving sensual baths

–a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

–made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all “YOU WANNA GO BRO???” in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

–honestly a very sweet guy

–swallows toothpaste TWICE

–comes against Carrow’s leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

–TOO BIG, WON’T FIT (pro)

–could’ve been meaner, I’m not gonna lie

15. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

NOV 08 2 notes # romance novel blogging immortals after dark but legit i really enjoyed dark skye a lot it was great even tho my personal favorite part was rydstrom going all the only flag i'll be waving is your decapitated head-- now on to sweet ruin~~~ the one where he's poison to everyone but her

One thing I do love about Immortals After Dark (and why I really do recommend reading it in order if possible) is that there are multiple arcs, an overarching plot (the upcoming apocalypse and Nix’s efforts to control it by making all these immortals super grateful to her for hooking them up with their partners + the inevitable army of hybrid babies down the road lmao), and an HEA nonetheless for every couple?

Like yeah I’m sure Lothaire and Ellie are gonna run into some issues with La Dorada, I know Garreth and Lucia and all them werewolves are gonna be out fighting with the best of ‘em in the Accession, I know Rydstrom and Sabine still owe Lothaire -> now Dorada a big favor that is probably bad, but at the end of the day, they’ll figure it the fuck out and shit will be resolved in a harrowing but ultimately happy climax (haha) if Kresley ever finishes these books because it is romance and I am guaranteed that.

It’s so nice.

NOV 07 7 notes # romance novel blogging immortals after dark i can have all the thrills without the stress and i'm thinking that if she does finish it she's in the final countdown proooobably like there will be a kristoff/furie book presumably (i cannot. wait.) nix's book will likely be last whoever she ends up with i know heath is alive and doing horribly so clearly he's gonna fall for someone probably kosmina so that lothaire is even more directly connected to the werewolves lmao the way nix is just solidifying alliances through marriage is... is deeply funny to me like y'all can't fight because his brother is fucking your niece now be quiet but yeah probably at least three more books are on the docket if she doesn't drag up like... jadian this icy hot guy which i'd appreciate and then there's thad

IAD Hero Power Rankings: It’s A Dozen

Getting to the home stretch with MacRieve (not that MacRieve–that MacRieve–no, not THIS MacRieve the other MacRieve–not the king one or the fuckboy one or the prince one THE MACRIEVE WHOSE TITLE “THE MACRIEVE”) and I just really really really really love him. He’s a top tier romance hero, and probably my second-favorite MacRieve after Garreth (the prince one). But damn, his book, while fantastic, was an emotionally tough one.

Lothaire, the Enemy of Old, vampire, Lothaire

Pros:

–well you can’t say he isn’t goal-oriented

–takes kids trick or treating

–does not support rape or child murder; and he actually likes dogs a lot!

–listen between the tittyfucking and the “let me drink my heroine’s virgin’s blood after I very literally pop her cherry” moment, you can’t call him boring

–actually hilarious, basically just a very scary vampire with a to-do list punting decapitated heads around like they’re soccer balls

–just did some shifter beheadings!!! it not like he goes around cockslapping gnomes!!!!

–loves a couch sex moment

Cons:

–clinically insane

–will forget someone he was talking to like half an hour ago because he’s lost all concept of time and space, will talk to himself during sex to be like “DON’T KILL HER @ me!!!”

–Ellie spends like 30% of this book covered in his semen, to the point that she literally just goes to sleep in it in order to piss the demon inhabiting her body off

–I thought he couldn’t sleep because of his madness but when you get to his POV he’s like “MY DICK IS TOO HARD FOR ME TO SLEEP”

–watches everyone have sex, which, considering this series, is a lot of people. I don’t even think it’s sexual it’s just his shit

–his only friend is a teenage quarterback, but then again, that QB is Thad and Thad is God

–put the Valkyrie queen underwater to drown eternally and forgot where she was lmao (this came out before The Old Guard…..)

–was into “juvenile skullfucking”

2. Garreth MacRieve, werewolf, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

Pros:

–invented “werewolf versus demon” basketball because he was SADS

–smells Lucia masturbating and is like WAIT WAIT WAIT I CAN FIX THAT

–gets Lucia off through prison bars…. a determined man

–engages in a Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote dynamic with his heroine for a YEAR where he’s just chasing her around the globe while she crushes him with trucks and shit… he sees it as foreplay

–catches a special new butterfly for her and names it after her leave me alone I’m crying

–“lass, I’m about to make you a widow” …. this shit works every time

–even a GOD can’t make him hurt Lucia

Cons:

–is honestly big stupid about plunging into danger

–was gonna help Lachlain steal a baby

–BIG “dumb younger brother” energy

–“we’re werewolves we’re very curious and always have to solve mysteries” lmao okay Scooby Doo

3. Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

–called Sabine a “good girl” even when she’s actually being a bad girl

–is explicitly a dom

–the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

–is into spanking

–his big comeback to his enemy is like “lmao well I’m about to make your girl’s eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK”

Cons:

–I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

–met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn’t remember fucking her once until she reminded him…. I thought it was funny

–that time he went at Sabine’s tits for so long that the next day she was all “THEY HURT SO BAD” so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

–“I don’t have any fetishes!!!!” has every fetish known to man

–was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her… this is a pro… but I’m gonna pretend it’s a con

–is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

4. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

5. Uilleam “Will” MacRieve, “MacRieve”, werewolf, MacRieve

Pros:

–literally called “bucket list” among immortal women because he’s the one you have to fuck in case you might die someday

–incredibly family-oriented and so HYPE to put a baby in there, which could be horrible but with the werewolves it’s always hot

–has the sweetest relationship with his twin ever like please Munro and MacRieve always having each other’s backs and knowing what the other is feeling and being devoted to each other stop

–incredibly dangerous hot hot hot but so gentle with Chloe in those first chapters, literally just left a bag over her head so that she couldn’t see him in beast mode and get scared

–listen… he’s got Issues, but he does the fucking work in the end and ows them and in myyyy opinion the Issues are pretty fucking valid

–LEASHES THE BEAST FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRR I WEEEEEPT

–the mouth on this dude (in all ways)

Cons:

–has like very little control over his beast for most of this book so he’s just like werewolfin’ out all over the place while Munro goes “I don’t even know why I bother”

–that time he threw up after taking Chloe’s virginity (not his fault but YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES MCGIIIIIKES)

–there is no living villain in this book, the villain is MacRieve’s trauma, which is very good and deep but also TOUGH BRO

6. Rune Darklight/"Rune the Baneblood", dark fey, Sweet Ruin

Pros:

--is such a good lay that he literally trades sex for information, which, considering his past, is actually quite dark, but I just wanna make how good a lay he is clear

--poison to everyone but Josie!!! Killed his evil stepmother by kissing her which is maybe the COOLEST KILL I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT

--but because he can't give anyone bodily fluids without killing them.... is so desperate to eat pussy and do some deep missionary Frenching it is RIDICULOUS LMAO

--is one of those "BABY GIRL IT AIN'T NO THANG WE'RE JUST CASUAL" heroes but as soon as she leaves he's like "oH MY GOOOOOD I'VE MADE A MISTAAAAAKE" which was delightful

--is teaching Josie how to read and literally writes "mine" on her chest in his own blood and I.... that was..... well-played

--is an incredibly talented assassin/archer, which is impressive because Rune is bad at basically everything else

Cons:

--that whole "well Josie you're just gonna have to accept that I have to fuck other people it's my JOB" thing which was like... definitely rooted in his sexual trauma but still uh bad

--is literally so bad at relationships that his other doom apocalypse bringers went from "oh my god Rune just talk to her" to hearing his side of the story and going ".... nah man give her some space she will most definitely not wanna see you for like a month"

--almost got into a fistfight with a teenage boy

--either barely reacts when coming or comes so aggressively loudly that other supernatural creatures show up like "so we heard you across town Rune what's up"

--"I'm going to sexually torture you with edgeplay" *lets her come twice within 10 minutes and also gets himself off* "... that was PART OF IT moving on"

7. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

8. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

9. Murdoch Wroth, vampire, Untouchable

Pros:

–probably the closest IaD gets to a himbo… HE WAS MORE THAN A RAKE, DAMMIT!!! HE DIED IN A WAR!!!!!!!

–I don’t think y'all get how impressive it is that he consistently hit the clit through a blanket AND fucked her to orgasm with an icicle for like a year

–is actually a very good brother

–finds out his woman maybe married another guy and goes “she’s going to be a widow” I love mess

Cons:

–will masturbate to the thought of you in the shower while you’re unconscious six feet away covered in arrow wounds… if that’s something you’re not into…

–has confidence issues because the Wroth brothers are rattled off like Nikolai: the leader! Sebastian: the brain! Conrad: the mysterious babe! Murdoch: … the slut?

(do love that the Wroth bros are the Charlie’s Angels of this series)

–bit Dani without her consent blah blah blah

10. Cadeon Woede/“Cadeon the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

11. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

12. Prince Trehan Daciano/Prince of Shadows, vampire, Shadow’s Claim

Pros:

–has MAGICAL INVISIBLE-MAKING MIST

–beats the shit out of everyone in this book, basically…. hot

–is apparently a really good uncle when he’s not trying to kill his relatives

–was actually extremely romantic with Bettina and liked her dumb little weapons designs. Would see her be like “I think I should make a poisoned bracelet” and go “fucking genius”

–goes from being super rational to FULL ON FUCKING INSANE and that’s hot

–says at one point that he’ll figure out what to do with their various relationship issues once he’s inside her, which I certainly was not mad at

–that time he told Bettina to refrain from touching herself until he could do it for her, we love to see it

Cons:

–was the second!!! person in this series to take Lothaire’s romantic advice, which was admittedly correct but suggests his own lack of judgment

–sat in his library and sadly masturbated for weeks (while Lothaire watched)

–watched Bettina sleeping, which I wasn’t personally upset with, but I guess that’s inappropriate

–that time they were like “your challenge is to give the princess what she’d want most” and he gave her a bag of heads and went “…. fuck” when everyone in the room didn’t get it

–held back on biting Bettina for forever, which was dumb and unhorny of him

13. Declan Chase/Aidan the Fierce/Gabriel/Edward/whoever the fuck else he was, berserker, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

Pros:

–I mean you can’t really go wrong with someone who is so determined to have his heroine that he just defies death and keeps coming back throughout the ages

–probably the only employee at Torture Island to get in trouble for workplace sexual harassment…. impressive

–that time he cried after suffocating Regin (it must be truuuuue love truuuuuue love)

–that bathtub scene where he was like “wait no actually I’m taking over this weird sexual interplay thing we have going on”

–his days-long island hike grovel where he was like just sadly walking around and being like *eye emoji* at Regin…. hilarious

Cons:

–he did vivisect a MacRieve, and I am nothing if not a MacRieve Stan For Lyfe

–the drug addiction issues are rough

–that time he had to let Lothaire bite his neck whenever he wanted and Lothaire was like “if I call you a girl’s name just go with it” and it DIDN’T turn into sex? Sads

14. Prince Mirceo Daciano, vampire, Shadow's Seduction

Pros:

--chaotic bisexual running around trying to fuck as much as possible before his dick stops working (temporarily)

--is excellent at everything he endeavors to do (giving head)

--is actually such a good brother!!! Admittedly was too busy fucking to realize that Lothaire had gone out and MISPLACED HIS SISTER but it's fine

--got so emotionally dumbass about Cas that he let Lothaire beat him up and still refused to drink Kristoff's blood to save Kosmina because he didn't wanna drink anyone but Cas awwwwwwwww awwwwwwwwwww awwwwwwwww I mean honestly kinda stupid but awwwwww

--set Kosmina up as his surrogate SO FAST LMAO

Cons:

--Caspion told him to take a 100 year break to evaluate the meaning of commitment and he showed up four days later with lube (pro)

--I mean lol the whole "let me set up this entire scenario where me and my best friend kiss so he realizes he's actually super into me" was diabolical and bad but also mastermind.mp3

--no thoughts head empty just trying to get Caspion to fuck him this entire book

--non-consensually bit Cas that one time but like, to be fair, blooding and all

--as a sidebar, was one of the Dacians who legit went "seems like Lothaire is the logical choice for king" and I just have questions about that thought process

15. Caspion, demon, Shadow's Seduction

Pros:

--had a huuuuge amount of character development between Shadow's Claim and Shadow's Seduction, mostly from going to a time-warp plane for 500 years, but also because he realized that he also likes dick

--is very.... aggressive... and I was not........ mad at that

--do I love that he'd just be like "I can't handle my feelings I'm gonna go out and bOUNTY HUNT" lmao yes

--very possessive, and look, again, I was not mad at that

--tried to take a mature approach to the relationship before he was like "nah fuck it we're gonna bone"

--that scene where he tucked Mirceo in after he got hammered but then was like "well while I'm here I am going to stare lustfully at his naked body" lmaooooo

Cons:

--internalized homophobia to tha max which was hard to read, but largely seemed based on how backwards the death demon realm is (which was established) and his own insecurities about his background

--lol Mirceo was VAGUELY panicky after they had sex and went "GREAT. AWESOME. WELL I GUESS WE'RE OVER ASSHOLE" which valid abandonment trauma response but still quite funny

--never has a non-werewolf man in this series been more like "UMMMM I WANNA BE IN THE KITCHEN WITH TONS OF BABIES"

--I mean he was a massive loser in Shadow's Claim, it must be said; literally so embarrassing that he went to another dimension to level up

16. Malkolm Slaine, demon/vampire, Demon from the Dark

Pros:

–we love a virgin hero always

–gave Carrow the heads of her enemies As A Treat

–very good at giving sensual baths

–a responsible, loving step-demon to what is admittedly an annoying child

–made Rydstrom, Nikolai, Garreth, and Myst all “YOU WANNA GO BRO???” in what was by far one of the funniest parts of the series

Cons:

–honestly a very sweet guy

–swallows toothpaste TWICE

–comes against Carrow’s leg like thirty seconds after meeting her (actually a pro in terms of hilarity)

–TOO BIG, WON’T FIT (pro)

–could’ve been meaner, I’m not gonna lie

17. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–all but a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)

#romance novel blogging #immortals after dark #lol i'm still trying to decide if i like the plot of sweet ruin as much as i love rune/josie #like it's a really good book but is it a full five stars???#i'm still debating #but the romance aspect was 12/10 #and shadow's seduction suffered from being a novella and also having some dated approaches to sexuality #but i loved the romance and i also think it was a preeeeetty bold move in 2016/2017 #for kresley cole to tell her publisher to fuck off and self publishing a m/m romance in her #extremely m/f series full of alpha males #even tho like. 10000%. there are other bi characters in this series lol #like nix for sure has fucked women.... lanthe talks about wanting to fuck nix....#lothaire gets hard drinking declan chase's blood and talks about how many men come in his arms after he bites them lmao #also king of marriage equality lothaire being like 'i don't give a FUUUUCK about cas being a man #but i s2g if one more person in this family marries a poor'#while being married to a poor

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