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raynewolfegirl · 7 days

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Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt 2.1

Note: The writing bug bit me while wading through the comments and replies so you guys get more! 😁 Special thanks to @the-scarecrow-of-aus & @starlightcat04 for helping spark this continuation!

Also, so you're not confused, this part is from Kon's POV and backtracks to before the Bane incident to explain how Kon started going undercover in Arkham. Pt 2.2 has the Bane incident from Kon's POV.

~*~*~

When Kon got the call from Tim asking if he'd be willing to do a favor for him, he hadn't expected it to be an undercover assignment in the infamous Arkham Asylum itself.

"You want me to do what?" He asked staring at Tim in disbelief once he reached the Nest to debrief.

"Go undercover as a new guard in Arkham." Tim repeated with a deadpan expression looking over his shoulder at Kon from his computer chair. Holy fuck, his eyebags were bad.

"Have you slept in the past week, Tim?" Kon asked, taking in his best friend's appearance.

Tim frowned at the question.

"I don't see how that's relevant but yes." He answered, heartbeat unchanging. Which didn't really mean anything since it was Tim but Kon decided he'd believe him.

For now.

Kon sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, I'll do it." He said. "Can you tell me why we need someone undercover at least?"

Tim eyes widened, startled by the question like he was surprised Kon didn't know yet even though Tim hadn't told him yet. Okay, deep breaths, calm down, Tim clearly hasn't slept in at least two days. Kon coached himself as his temper flared up at the evidence that Tim wasn't taking care of himself again. All the Supers agreed: sometimes you just wish you could beat some sense into the Bats and make them take care of themselves like normal human beings.

"Ah. Right." Tim said, turning back to the computer and pulling up some files as he explained. "Two thing have occured within roughly fifteen days of each other that together are rather suspicious. First, Dr. Thomas Rylie, Jonathan Crane's undergraduate roommate and classmate throughout undergrad and grad school, was hired to work as one of the new in house psychiatrists at Arkham Asylum. They also got their doctorates from the same school during the same time frame and both focused on the impact fear has on the brain. Dr. Rylie's focus was on fear conditioning and Dr. Crane's focus was on fear responses." Well, that sounds suspicious.

"Second, Gotham University lost their minds and began an undergraduate and graduate internship program partnering with Arkham Asylum."

Kon went cold. They did what?

Pictures of the Asylum, University, and three people -presumably Scarecrow, Dr. Rylie, and a young woman- filled the computer screen now.

"The internship program has only one applicant so far and she'd already started working at the Arkham. Her name is Jasmine Fenton and her background is...sparse, to say the least." Tim turned in his chair to face Kon.

"I'm too recognizable in Gotham and among the rogues to successfully go undercover in Arkham so I've set you up with an apartment and ID as 'Kyle Jennings.' You're scheduled to start work at Arkham as a new guard tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Kon said with a nod. "What do you need confirmed? What are the primary objectives?" He prodded Tim again since his friend's sleep deprived brain seemed to think that was enough information for debriefing. It wasn't. Definitely not. A lot was implied but it wouldn't be the first time Tim had completely different intentions than what Kon had understood from his briefing. Sleep deprived Tim frequently assumed others could read his mind or something. Sleep deprived Tim was wrong.

"We need to determine if Dr. Rylie is here working for Scarecrow as part of some new scheme. We need to determine if Jasmine Fenton is complicit. We need to know if Gotham U is also in on it. And we need to find out what exactly Scarecrow is the planning." Tim stated automatically as he ticked each one off on his fingers.

"Got it. Guess I'll head over to my new apartment then and start prepping for tomorrow." Kon said, heading towards the exit. Tim hummed in agreement waving a hand in his direction as he left. That dumbass was probably already absorbed in the next case. Kon sighed, hopefully Tim would at least pass out sometime later tonight.

~*~*~

Kon's first day at Arkham wasn't anything special. He didn't see Jasmine, Dr. Rylie, or Scarecrow. He didn't see any rogues or doctors at all. It was just a really Gotham kind of orientation.

"This is where we keep a cache of stun grenades, long-range scope rifles, tranquilizer rounds, and rubber bullets." His new supervisor and guide through orientation, Alex Fhizer, said as he showed Kon how to access, inventory, lock, and re-conceal the cache. "Everytime you pass by a cache on patrol, you will check the inventory again and sign off on it with the date and time. If anything is different from the previous inventory entry, you will immediately radio the tower and the island will be put on lockdown." Greyish Hazel eyes peered out of a weathered face staring Kon down. "You will never neglect to inventory a cache while on patrol. You will never neglect to report an inventory discrepancy. The first time you do you will be fired immediately and you can count yourself damn lucky if that's all that happens to you."

Fhizer was intense, man.

"Yes, Sir." Kon answered. Fhizer's hard look lasted another long moment before the older man gave a firm nod and continued showing Kon the ropes.

~*~*~

The second day was no where near as chill as the first. Hell, his brain was already starting to warp, there hadn't been anything chill about that orientation.

Kon started his second day by boarding the Arkham transport bus with the rest of the staff and early morning visitors to the island. That was where he saw Jasmine Fenton in the flesh for the first time.

She has got to be part Amazonian, was his first thought upon seeing her. She was around 6ft tall with a thick mane of red hair tightly braided reaching all the way down to her waist. Jasmine was wearing teal stud earrings, a silver bangle type bracelet on her left wrist, a white blouse, black slacks, and black flats. She carried a small, clear purse that only held a small notepad, pen, house key, chapstick, and a thin teal wallet that presumably contained her IDs, debit cards, and a small amount of cash. Damn, she was tall.

Kon's concentration was broken by the quiet sound of metal crunching slightly beneath his fingers. He immediately loosened his grip on the hand rail, checking for damage with a wince. He breathed a soft sigh of relief when he saw the damage was almost entirely unnoticeable to the naked eye. He'd have to mind his strength more closely. Kon was too used to the farm and facilities that were all reinforced to handle casual use from people with super strength.

Tim's notes indicated Arkham wasn't reinforced for super strength anywhere. Not even along the outer walls. The facility had opted to use suppression collars on their meta inmates instead since they were cheaper and easier to repair and replace according to the official reports. However, Tim's notes had also mentioned that Arkham had reinforced the outer walls to account for super strength at one point. They'd poured nearly every dime the facility could spare into the project for months until the Joker himself had taken it personally. The madman had absolutely obliterated the reinforced outer walls until no part of them remained standing. Given Joker had destroyed the walls without having any meta powers at all and his history of viciously attacking -damn near mauling- anyone that tried to put him in a straight jacket, Kon didn't really blame Arkham for stopping while they were ahead.

Kon looked up as the bus jolted to a stop. The other passengers filing off around him. He watched as Jasmine Fenton was met by Dr. Rylie in front of the bus as he waited to disembark.

"Ms. Jasmine!" Dr. Rylie greeted her enthusiastically with a broad open grin and beaming eyes. He reached towards her with both arms, hands open and she reached back. Their right hands clasped as their left hands landed on the other's upper arms as the two greeted one another openly. Kon wasn't very familiar with intern-mentor relationships nor what would be considered normal or professional for them, but it looked like a rather affectionate greeting for them having been strangers two weeks ago. That was strange, wasn't it? Was Tim right to be worried about them?

"Ms. Jasmine is the first and only applicant for Dr. Rylie, Director Keener, and Dean Byle's hairbrained idea to hire more doctors for this place." One of the older guards that had been standing just behind him on the bus explained having apparently noticed Kon watching the pair.

"They just seemed rather affectionate for Gotham." Kon shrugged dismissively as he turned to look over his shoulder at his new colleague. The shorter man laughed.

"A bit, yeah." He agreed. "I think Dr. Rylie is just desperate for this program to work out." He continued as they finally managed to get off the bus. Dr. Rylie and Ms. Fenton were gone now. "Pretty much everyone's been treating her like a princess."

"That doesn't seem fair to everyone else." Kon commented, dropping back a bit to let the older man lead the way to the guards room for morning debriefing and to get their assignments. He'd already memorized the layouts but 'Kyle Jennings' shouldn't have yet.

"Who cares about fair as long as it works?" The guard answered. "If treating her like a princess scores more interns for the program in the long run, and if one intern every year ends up interested in sticking around, I'll be happy to cater to every single one of them." He confessed, stopping in the middle of the hall to turn and face Kon directly. Kon glimpsed the name Ryans as the silver name badge flashed the briefly reflecting the overhead lights. "You non-gothamites just don't get it. We're desperate for whatever help we can get."

"That's why I applied here." Kon lied. "Going to school across the bay, I heard a lot about what went down over here while I was in college. I want to help."

Ryans gave a short solemn nod then turned and led the rest of the way to the break room.

~*~*~

Day four undercover was when Kon officially met Jasmine Fenton.

Everything had been going well so far with his undercover assignment. He'd settled in to the role of Kyle Jennings, been getting along well with his new coworkers including Ryans and Fhizer, and hadn't yet managed to screw up inventorying the caches during the outer patrol loops. That being said, Kon was having other issues.

The worst part of being an unstable Kryptonian clone was that his strength tended to fluctuate. It normally wasn't much of an issue when he was surrounded by reinforced everything in his daily life but here at Arkham it was becoming a problem. Case in point, Kon thought to himself with an exhausted groan as his freshly made coffee mug shattered in his hand.

"Oh come on." He sighed snatching a handful of paper towels from the counter and bending to wipe up the coffee and ceramic shards on the floor. At least he was the only one in the room when it shattered. The door clicked softly behind him and Kon jumped twisting to look.

Jasmine Fenton stood behind him having just closed the door to the break room after entering.

"What happened here?" She asked, sounding bewildered with slightly wide eyes as she took in the mess on the floor. Thank God. She didn't see it.

"Guess I was a bit more tired than I thought." He said with a forced laugh in order to hide his nerves. "Slipped right through my fingers."

She nodded, accepting his words at face value.

"I've done that more than a few times close to finals." She admitted. "You guys have 10 hour shifts, right? You must be exhausted. When's your next day off?"

"The day after tomorrow." Kon said. "This is day 3 for me since orientation doesn't count."

"You get 2 days off followed by an on-call day, right?" She asked.

"Right," Kon agreed. "AKA 2 days of freedom and a day chained to the Bowery." He joked.

"Absolutely terrible, they may as well put an ankle monitor on you." She cracked back grinning. Kon snickered. The door opened again.

"I see you found another non-gothamite here." Dr. Rylie said striding into the break room with a wide grin.

"Sounds like that makes three of us." Kon agreed. Outside of Joker, he had never seen a gothamite grin that wide in his life.

"Dr. Thomas Rylie, a pleasure to meet you." Dr. Rylie introduced himself holding out his hand to shake. Kon shook his hand as gently as possible, mindful his strength was on the fritz.

"Kyle Jennings, nice to meet you. I just started as a guard earlier this week." He said then held his hand out to shake Jasmine's.

"Jasmine Fenton, I'm an intern therapist. This is my second week here." She greeted with a warm smile shaking Kon's hand. She didn't say anything about being glad to meet him, Kon noted. It wasn't exactly strange behavior but something made him take note of it anyway. Like by not saying it she was saying she hadn't decided whether meeting him was a good or bad thing yet. Dr. Rylie didn't seem to notice anything off with the interaction though as he went about making his own coffee. The three of them made idle small talk as they made their own coffees. Once his new cup was ready, Kon bid them both goodbye and went on his way. While they were his main objective, lingering too long this early into their aquantiantship would probably be strange.

He had several other small friendly interactions with both of them over the next few days. Taking the time for greetings, small talk, and sharing small bits of casual background info from Kyle Jennings's past to encourage them both to open up to him. He also broke a clipboard, two more coffee cups, several pens, and a doorknob during that time as his strength continued to fluctuate. The doorknob had been particularly embarrassing. He had gone to open the door for Jasmine when he saw her with her arms full of files and somehow managed to twist it in such a way that the screws holding it in place sheered off and the knob came off in his hand. Collins, his partner for building patrol that day, burst out laughing hysterically as Kon stared at the doorknob in horror.

"No worries, man." Collins said, clapping Kon on the shoulder still snickering. "Someone else probably broke it and put it back so they wouldn't get scolded or something."

"Yeah," Kon said with a nervous laugh. "That must be what happened."

Jasmine's eyes flicked between the two of them then she grinned.

"And here I thought you just really hated that door." She teased Kon. He felt his face heat up as Collins laughed at him again.

"It is an ugly door." Collins agreed enthusiastically smirking.

"Terribly ugly. Hideous even," Jasmine said with a smile.

"Possibly even traumatizing to behold," Collins continued to smirk.

"You've got me. I have a deep rooted traumatic fear of metal taupe doors." Kon deadpanned ears burning. Jasmine snickered as Kon got the door open for her and they went their separate ways.

~*~*~

"What have you found so far?" Tim asked. Kon did not have the words to express how much he didn't want to be at the Nest at 3am on his first day off from undercover work. If it was anyone other than Tim he wouldn't have even answered the phone.

"Literally nothing," Kon said dryly. "I am still the newest of newbies at Arkham. I practically spent the whole week being babysat by senior guardsmen." He sighed, reminding himself that it wasn't Tim's fault that he was a little insomniac goblin and that Kon really did love his friend and would be sad if he hurt Tim's feelings. Eventually. When he woke up again in the morning. "I did start befriending them both though. It's slow going since we're in different areas but nearly being the only non-gothamites there seems to be helping me make some headway at least."

There was one other non-gothamite on staff, a medical nurse named Sharon Earley. She was in her mid-thirties and the most sour and unpleasant person Kon had had the displeasure of meeting so far on Arkham's staff. Not that Kon could blame her for that. Not when she had several large ragged scars spanning from her chin and down both of her arms from when Zsazz had gotten hold of her alone after dark her second year at Arkham. It was a damn miracle she'd survived him. Kon didn't know how she managed it but he wouldn't try to find out either. Ryans had taken him aside right before he first met Nurse Earley and warned him not to stare or ask about any of it and then explained the bare basics of what happened to her after they'd left.

Tim probably had a file with every detail of that night as well as information about Sharon Earley's life both before and after that night somewhere on his computer. The thought made Kon nauseous.

"Good, good," Tim said absently as he updated the mission file on his computer. The keys clicked so rapidly that Kon again reconsidered whether or not his best friend had super speed. "Better to keep them from suspecting than to rush in anyway."

"Exactly."

Tim continued asking questions about every little detail he could think of concerning Dr. Rylie, Jasmine Fenton, and the rogues currently in Arkham.

"They don't let me near those guys yet. I'm too new." Kon said when Tim asked if Scarecrow looked to be plotting more than usual.

"They don't?" Tim sounded surprised, going so far as to stop typing so he could turn and stare at Kon. The clone was amused to note something about his statement had managed to wake Tim up enough to be visibly shocked instead blank-faced with exhaustion.

"Of course not," Kon answered trying to keep the amusement from his voice as much as possible. "As many times as your rogues have broken out they're leary of letting new hires near them in case they're goons in disguise."

Tim sank back into his chair looking like Kon had uprooted his whole world by proving the Earth really was flat via actual science.

"That's impossible." Tim said sounding faint. "Everytime there's a mass breakout, we always hear that some of the guards helped them escape. How?..." He trailed off, eyes darting rapidly like he was tracking lines of an invisible conspiracy board in the air in front of him. Kon shrugged, uncomfortable with this new information.

"Scuttlebutt is that the people helping them escape are visitors. The guards get blamed because the goons visit wearing clothes similar to the guard uniform from a distance. All blue polo shirts and black pants look similar at a distance." Kon explained. "It also doesn't help that the guards can't really do much to stop the escape attempts since they only have stun grenades, tranquilizer darts, batons, low voltage tazers, and rubber bullets to fight back with. So as long as enough people are involved in the escape attempt at least some of them will make it out even if the guards manage to to tranquilize several of them."

Tim still looked like Kon was blowing his mind. It was such a rare experience that Kon had to continue.

"Plus the tranquilizer darts and the rubber bullets have to be fired from different hardware." Kon told him. "Which sucks because you have to carry twice the amount of weight while chasing after the escapees which slows you down and it takes longer to swap between them."

There was something similar to mystified horror spreading across his friend's face now.

"Speaking if swapping between them, they have different ranges too." Kon continued gleefully. Half because it was fun wrecking Tim's worldview and half to actually impart the information. "Batons are short-range. Tranquilializer darts and stun grenades are mid-range. Rubber bullet riffles are long-range."

"If that's all it is, WE can fund then better gear to control the inmates." Tim interrupted turning back to the computer and swiftly typing out a list of things to send Arkham. Kon shook his head.

"That won't work." He disagreed gently. "They aren't failing because of the gear itself."

Tim turned back around to face him, confused. This was not going to be a fun conversation, Kon swallowed hard and forced himself to continue.

"The problem is that if you fire the rubber bullet riffles from mid or short range you could seriously injury or even kill the patient. If they get past mid-range, you'll miss them completely using tranquilizer darts or stun grenades. If you try to use either of those at short-range it'll be bad for you whether it's because they'll get hold of you before the tranquilizer knocks them out or because you'll stun yourself too."

Comprehension and trepidation began to dawn on Tim's face. He deflated in his chair, sinking lower and lower as he stared off into nowhere.

"You also can't hit them with more than one tranquilizer dart in a four hour window because you could accidently kill them that way. That also means even though you have a baton, you typically can't do enough damage to them to keept them from escaping because that might potentially kill them." Kon said completely solemn now as he relayed the information. "Because regardless of the reputation Arkham has or what the patients have done, it is still a hospital and they are still patients."

Tim was staring directly at Kon now. Mouth open, face slack, eyes wide with a kind of numbed shock. Kon held his gaze.

"Yeah," Kon said after a moment. "Yeah, that's how I reacted too." He looked down, picking at his nails for a moment before forcing himself to stop and meet Tim's gaze again. "Phizer, my new 'boss', made sure to drill that into my head during orientation. 'Arkham's guards exist first and foremost to protect the patients. Arkham isn't supposed to be a prison. It's a medical facility. The patients are confined to the premises because their affliction has made them dangerous and they have to stay so that we can keep them and others safe from further harm. We are here to keep the patients and staff from hurting each other, themselves, or being hurt by people outside of Arkham's walls.' Not gonna lie, man." Kon said quirking a bitter grin as his did. "Hearing that kind of fucked me up a bit."

Tim sucked in a huge heaving breath then slowly let it out before he responded.

"I can't say I ever thought about it like that." He admitted in a soft strained voice. "Can't say I ever wanted to either." There was a bitter tinge to his words.

"Yeah, neither did I." Kon answered, shoulders slumping a bit. "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me? I kind of want to head back and sleep a bit."

Tim shook his head slowly.

"No, I think we're good at the moment." He said looking twice as exhausted and drained now as he did when Kon first got there. Kon nodded.

"Good night then. I'll see you later, man." He said, pushing off the wall he'd been leaning against and heading for the door.

"Be safe, Kon." Tim answered softly turning back to his computer.

#Meta Jazz Arkham Intern Therapist #Meta Jazz #Arkham Intern Therapist #MJAIT #AIT #Meta Jazz AIT #dc x dp #dcxdp #dp x dc #dpxdc #Jazz/Kon #Eventually that's the goal anyway #Side note I do not headcanon Arkham this way #But Jazz went through her 'I can fix them' stage during high school #And in my experience most people don't try to 'fix others' again after they fail the first several times #Jack & Maddie definitely weren't fixed in this story #So I couldn't see her willingly interning at Arkham if it was actually like how it is in DCU #Since the internship program is optional #Which begged the question why everyone thinks Arkham is Like That #So Kon gave you the answer #Also sorry if he's really OOC #I have never written his POV before and finding a voice for him was hard #Tim's shit got rocked #tw: cursing #my Kon curses because he's through his rebellious stage already but linguistic habits stuck around #Oh yeah #and his powers are fluctuating because the density of the smog and cloud layer over Gotham is constantly changing

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s0fter-sin · 4 days

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punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!

ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him

no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)

"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"

he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple

he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet

soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost

ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch

he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing

he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."

he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."

he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-

ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-

“johnny!”

he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive

the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."

ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"

soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice

“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"

soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it

it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel

ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap

his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive

soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around

soap is the priority

he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe

then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk

#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl #tw implied past suicide #god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door #ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go #he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub #when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket #hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded #trying not to fall back into old habits #but theres a reason hes called ghost #bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck #soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed #bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #soap cod #john soap mactavish #ghost cod #simon ghost riley

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puppyeared · 6 months

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Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

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cerise-on-top · 5 months

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Could I possibly request Fem!Reader x Laswel where Reader takes Laswel home for the holidays, leaving Laswel a bit of an anxious mess at meeting readers family, but also being endeared by the domesticity of the small holiday party, ending with the pair sitting outside on the porch as the first snow begins to fall?

It's a little cliché but I think it'd be a cute idea ♡

It's very cliché, but not to worry, I made the idea even more cliché and sweet and fluffy by adding some headcanons of my own! It makes me happy to hear there are some Laswell enjoyers out there! I hope you like this, it's also more of a fic than anything else, but it's kind of rushed because I have work again tomorrow ^^; Sorry about that! But thank you for the lovely idea, I was very happy to write that! :D

Laswell Spending the Holidays with Reader and Her Family

It wasn’t an issue, she told herself. Kate had been on missions that relied on her expertise, else the world was going to shatter like glass. There was no anxiety there, she had nothing to fear. If the world was going to end, she knew the right people to call to save it after all. Nothing was bigger than her, nothing could best her, she has been through hell and back several times. And yet, standing in front of the door to your parent’s house, she went through every sort of anxiety there was. Would your parents like her? Was she dressed too casually for the occasion or was she overdressed? Would they accept a lesbian into their home? It was the last question that would prove to be the biggest problem. Normally something like this wouldn’t matter to her, but you were close with your family, Kate had to make sure this would work.

“You ready, Kate?” You looked so adorable in your ear muffs, puffy white smoking forming whenever you exhaled. The scarf you wore suited you well, adorning your lovely jacket. The snow hadn’t fallen just yet, but it was cold regardless. Kate couldn’t help but stare for a second, your big, bright eyes looking back at her with such glee, reassuring her that everything was going to be alright. A small squeeze to her hand was all it took before Kate gave you a warm smile herself. Maybe meeting your family wasn’t such a bad thing after all, you were there too.

“Of course I am. Ready when you are.” And thus you rang the doorbell. A normal sound one would hear just about anywhere. It was then that Kate, for the first time that evening, noticed the quiet Christmas carols playing in the background. The door, too, was covered in decoration. Green and red, a Christmas wreath with an angel on it. A lovely sight. Kate may not have been religious, but it was a nice thought, knowing someone was looking down at you, making sure you were alright. A task she, too, was used to. But it didn’t matter too much, soon enough, the door was opened, revealing a man. He seemed friendly enough, joyful upon seeing you, immediately taking you into his arms.

You didn’t seem too displeased upon seeing him either. Given your difference in age, it must have been your father. A tight hug, sentimental greetings and a kiss to the forehead, everything seemed jolly in that moment.

“Who is it?”

A feminine voice called out. Her question was left unanswered for the most part, her husband giving her no response. He was preoccupied, busy with looking at his daughter he hadn’t seen in a long time. Yet, soon enough, Kate’s anxiety returned as he looked at her. It was dark already, the only reliable source of light coming from the inside. Despite it being somewhat hard to make out his expression, he didn’t seem displeased upon seeing her. “You must be Kate, then? Our girl has told us so much about you. Please, come in! It’s so nice to make your acquaintance!” He let the two of you in. Maybe meeting your family wasn’t such a bad experience after all. They seemed nice. “Honey, it’s y/n and Kate!”

The music inside was something one would, most likely, only hear within a proper and cliched Christmas movie. Even the decoration was a bit much. Tiny trees, underneath them small gifts, an advent wreath with all four candles lit and, of course, a fully decorated Christmas tree, full sized. It had some white decoration on it as well, likely resembling snow to give it even more holiday spirit. From small chocolate umbrellas to windrings, it was all there. Another small angel on the tree, a pretty little golden star on its top. It was the way anyone would expect a Christmas tree to look like. And yet, it felt cozy. Nothing wrong with having the spirit, Kate just wasn’t used to it in the slightest. It had been a while since she was able to celebrate any holiday like that.

Among the pretty lights was another figure that came into view. This one was shorter than your father, likely having been your mother. She stopped for a moment before going in for you as well, giving you a tight hug. Loving words came from her, too. How much she missed you, hoping you were doing well. how you should come visit them more often. How nice, your parents really loved you, no matter what. It warmed her heart even more so than the nicely heated room. Looking around as you and your mother exchanged your greetings, she spotted a big pretzel on the table, filled with all sorts of goodies. Cheese, ham, sausage mayonnaise, tuna, it all seemed to be there.

“Looking forward to the pretzel already, are we?” Your mother joked as she looked at her. The food did look delectable, even if that wasn’t exactly what Kate was looking forward to the most.

Even if she wanted to, Kate couldn’t fight the smile on her face. It was just so domestic, it was a home with a loving family, a lovely daughter and it seemed as though, despite two women being in love, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You and Kate being together, as long as you were bound by love and joy throughout it all, wasn’t the issue. Perhaps the only issue would have been how much Kate could eat of the pretzel before being too full for another bite. “It looks very delicious ma’am. Did you make it yourself? Or did you order it from the bakery nearby?”

“No need for such formalities. As long as you make y/n happy and take care of her, you’re part of our family. You really don’t have to be that formal with either of us.” Such a thing had been a long time from then and there as well, with most informalities having been left behind in the past. You were just about one of the only more recent exceptions, even if you had known each other for several years. Always, Kate had to be formal, if just to delay another conflict for a few days to make sure help would arrive at the right time. She was family to your mother already, even if she had never met either of your parents. “I’m just glad my daughter has finally found someone she was willing to settle with. She had had a partner before, but that did not go as planned.”

“Mom, for the love of everything that is good and holy, please don’t bring up the past. That was an eternity ago and it’s so shameful!” You sounded indignant upon hearing your mother make such a comment. Sweet and kind you, hiding things from the past, getting embarrassed upon hearing your lovely mother bring them up. “Kate, don’t listen to her, she’s lying to you! Straight up! Through her teeth! Nothing ever happened, everything was always good and always will be!” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mother as you protested. As long as everything was good and alright in the present, that’s all that mattered. Kate was going to make sure it would stay that way too.

Your mother simply chuckled, giving Kate a short but sweet hug, exchanging the pleasantries of giving each other their first names. “Kate, if y/n is ever any trouble tell me and I’ll make sure she’ll learn her lesson.”

“Mom! Stop it!”

“It’s lovely to have you with us, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for taking care of y/n, you know how it is with parents, but you seem like such a nice lady. Please continue to take good care of her, we just want what’s best for her.”

Even as you covered your face with one hand, even as you silently muttered curses under your breath, even as you still smiled as though you had received an expensive gift you had been wanting for years, Kate couldn’t help but laugh a bit. You were flustered beyond compare, no matter how much she wanted to say something about it, maybe tease you about your adorable mannerisms, your quirks, your traits, she decided against it, simply giving you a bright smile instead.

“Mom, if I’m going to be bullied here then Kate and I are going to take our leave and celebrate Christmas elsewhere!” An empty threat, everyone involved knew that much. Even in the heat of your embarrassment, your family did not stop teasing you, your father quipping in here and there as well. Kate hadn’t experienced something like this in a long time, getting to sit back and watch some playful banter. With your father distracting you this time, with your mother coming up to Kate, asking her if she wanted to hear some stories of gone-by times with you being so young, small and ready to take on the world, Kate forgot she was ever even anxious to meet your parents to begin with.

It was your father who would finally begin the tradition, aside from the pretzel, calling your mother and Kate over to the Christmas tree. A few of the presents had already been placed there. Even so, before forgetting, Kate excused herself, rushing to the car in order to get the last one. It was that evening or never.

She had always been a calm person, never letting anything get to her head. When her childhood crush told her how disgusting she was, when her parents belittled her and told her she could change still, when her ex wife left her for reasons she didn’t want to believe, it hurt. But not for long. Every time someone let her down, every time someone hurt her, she knew she was one of the only people she could rely on. God helps those who help themselves. There was no God to her, she had achieved everything on her own. But this time she will have to rely on someone else entirely. Whatever you did, it would shape her future. And thus, she grabbed the box meant for you and headed back inside.

You seemed so cheerful, looking at the jacket your parents bought for you. And, in turn, you parents also looked happy with their presents. Naturally, getting along with them as well as you did, you knew what to get them, even in their later years. It was, all round, just a happy evening, for everyone involved it seemed. Steadying her breath for a second, just as your father turned off the lights, leaving nothing but the Christmas lights on, she stood still, gripping the box tightly. Kate hoped you would like the present she got for you. Yes, you had been with each other for years, but this time was different.

After having taken off the jacket, putting it over one of the chairs nearby, you turned to Kate, eyeing the box she was holding. “Hey, what’s that? Can I see?”

“I’ll let you see it in just a second, dear, alright? Could you please come closer to the tree?”

Your spirit guided you to the location Kate wanted you to be in: Standing next to the tree, illuminated by the red and green lights. Everything else was dark. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, this was perfect. And thus, having taken another deep breath, despite her age, Kate got down on one knee, opening the box so your curious soul could see its contents. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

With you clasping your hands over your mouth, your mother and father gasping as they held onto each other, with Kate watching you closely as the tears started brimming in your eyes. The lights were reflected so beautifully in your eyes, dancing across, giving them the most vibrant colors in the universe. But you were stunned into silence, removing your hands only to mouth some words that could never reach Kate in the state you were in. The Christmas charm seemed to have worked, you were out of your mind with joy, but unable to say anything about it.

A sob escaped you as you slung your arms around Kate, tightly holding onto her. You weren’t going to lose her, not that easily anymore, you were both here to stay. “Yes! Fuck, Kate! Of course I’m going to marry you! I love you! I love you so much, you have no idea!!” Your tears stained the blouse she chose for the evening, but it didn’t matter. All Kate wanted was to hold you, love you, cherish you, through thick and thin, through the good and the bad. All she wanted was to spend the rest of her days with you and no one else. Kate got her present, the biggest one she could have ever wished for: Your “yes”.

Your parents were also quiet for a moment, allowing you to cry into Kate’s shoulder. But from what she could see, they were shocked, but happy for their girl. She was going to get married after so many years. And that to the woman of her dreams she never really could shut up about whenever they were talking. It was a lovely sight. Soon enough, you were both officially going to be a part of each other’s family, bearing each other’s names so no one would ever mistake you as anything else but each other’s wife.

You bit back a sob, your voice still cracking as you asked Kate a small favor: “Can we please go outside for a bit? I think I need a moment here.”

“Of course, anything for you.” Kate handed you your new jacket before she grabbed her own. Naturally, as she wanted it to be, you led the way to the backyard, holding Kate’s hand. Despite it being dark, despite the only light coming from other Christmas decorations and you not having been here in a while, you found a bench in the middle of the small piece of land immediately. The two of you sat down, Kate having slung an arm over you as you kept sobbing for another moment. Nothing could have prepared her for you being so over the moon to hear the big question, but she wasn’t complaining.

It took you another minute or two to finally compose yourself, but you got there eventually. “You know, I always thought I was never going to find someone, preferring girls over guys and all. Age wise, you and I aren’t that far apart either, so you know how long I’ve been carrying that thought, that belief, with me now. But then I found you and…” You went quiet again for another second. Kate rubbed your back, hoping it would soothe you a bit. “...and now this. Kate, you don’t know how happy I am right now. To think that someone would think me, of all people, to be worth loving. To be worth marrying. You’re something else.” You grabbed her hands so tenderly, giving them a gentle squeeze as you looked into her eyes. “Thank you so much, for everything. I am so happy, so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Y/N, as you know, I’ve been through a lot. I’ve seen the best and worst of humanity, but nothing could ever best you. I would go through this entire hell again and again, if just to spend another moment with you. Getting to spend the rest of eternity with you is more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you for allowing me to be by your side.”

Just as you leaned in, sealing this beautiful evening with a kiss, something small landed on Kate’s nose. You giggled a bit, looking to the sky for a moment, then back at your soon-to-be wife. “Even the sky is weeping with joy right now. Isn’t that sweet?”

“Of course it is. Anyone would be happy for us right now, dear.”

Interrupted by the small snowflake, you gave it no mind, placing a small, tender kiss on Kate’s lips as you were. The snow looked beautiful in her hair. Winter didn’t seem so dreadful and cold anymore, it was a hopeful time you could remember for more than just seeing a part of your family. Another part was right there with you, forever and always, after all.

#cod #cod x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #fem!reader #petition to make Laswell real so us Laswell lovers can give her a kiss on the cheek #I never would have thought I'd be into older women but I am swooning again #it's sort of become a habit of mine to write something like a fic for the girls #I need to change that but every time I look at one of them I am overcome with love and adoration and the desire to write as much as I can #I need to go back to writing HCs but that's likely only going to happen when writing for the guys and/or if there's several characters #anyway the girls are so underappreciated in this fandom I am so happy to have found the people willing to enjoy my silly writing about them #also English is not my first language so I'm really sorry for any mistakes #I have a hard time remembering the difference between looking down on and looking down at sb

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