#but still its like instead of hurdles to jump over ive got walls and the walls are my parents and the animation industry

[solarpunkani]

I think one interesting thing I’m grappling with in my quest to solarpunkify my life is how little control I have over what I can do in the stage of life I’m in now.

Like my ideal self would have a big, booming garden with dozens of food plants and bench seats and swings and a bunch of pollinator gardens in the front and backyard with a pond for wildlife. I can grow tons of food for neighbors and community initiatives, and host get togethers (bonus points if I have a fantastic colored-panel greenhouse like I’ve fantasized about before). I’d have solar panels wherever they’d fit, all kinds of lovely decorations, and live as green as possible. I’d eagerly give out seeds for pollinator friendly plants in one of those front yard seed boxes I’ve seen, maybe have a community fridge nearby as well. I’d be able to guerrilla garden and help with community initiatives, but still have free time to spend on myself, my art, my crafts. And a cat.

There’s plenty that gets in the way of that though. I don’t have a job, so I can’t have the big booming garden of my dreams. I live with my parents, and they don’t want the kind of lifestyle and decorations and such that I would. My mom doesn’t even like cats, or half the neighbors in the cul de sac. I can encourage and poke and prod my parents all I want, but at the end of the day its their house and what they want/can afford goes, and its not really what I want. Not to even mention that I’m shy, overall not very corageous, and more or less have no idea what I’m doing or how to navigate this world.

It’s definitely an interesting position to be in. And frustrating.

#out of queue #ani rambles #like would I have all this if I was on my own right now? #lets be real probably not id probably be in some shitty apartment #but still its like instead of hurdles to jump over ive got walls and the walls are my parents and the animation industry #i was gonna havr an inspiring point about ‘oh you just gotta hold onto hope that you can obtain it someday uwu’ but uh #genuinely its hard to keep that hope rn. have you seen my target industry? its a clusterfuck out there