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kazosa · 4 years

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A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - Part 9

Summary: All you wanted was to use your skills in automotive engineering and design to open your own custom car shop. When the rug gets yanked out from under you, one of your regular customers offers you a job that you just can’t resist. Will it stay a mutually beneficial arrangement, or will something unexpected bloom?

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x Reader

Appearances by: Bobby, Donna, OC* Jack, OC Mom, Ryan, Donna

Chapter Synopsis: The aftermath of John's actions lands back on Dean's shoulders. The stress of the situation and Dean's sneaking around are taking their toll and they finally take a little break to go visit friends in Bemidji

Word count: 5173

Warnings: Bad language. Fluff. Anxiety triggers.

Masterlist

Tags: @31shadesofbrown @xhannahbananax03 @closetspngirl @adoptdontshoppets @parinarain @babykalika2001 @docharleythegeekqueen @22sarah08 @flamencodiva @deans-baby-momma @collette04 @maralisa124 @mml232 @sympathyforluci @superthingsilike @collinsstanharbour @jxnnxbrxwn @winchest09 @sandlee44 @screechingartisancashbailiff @theconfusedcat @perpetualabsurdity @spnhollis @squirrelnotsam @cosicas-cuquis @coffee-obsessed-writer @sorenmarie87 @his-paradox @geeksareunique @cloverhighfive @dancingalone21

By the time you caught up to Dean, he was at the airport, fuming. You could see the scowl on his face from 50 yards out. As you got closer to him, you were catching only a few words. You didn’t need to know what he was saying to know he was very angry. You leaned against the Impala door to wait for him.

“...where you are or what you think you’re going, get the hell back here!”

The anger he felt was so intense. What the hell gave his father the right to steal and from his own company?! Then he just flew off without repercussions?! He should have known this was how it would end. Dean knew it would, he just wished he had been wrong. A nearby 5 gallon bucket took the brunt of his anger as he kicked it as hard as he could, sending it sailing. He paced on the pavement a few moments longer before walking toward you and the Impala.

“How long?” was all you asked as you both got in the car. There were still a few police at the hangar as you were getting ready to leave.

“Before sunrise,” he sighed, knowing what you meant. The Impala came to life with the turn of his wrist, “How the hell did he catch wind? We were so careful. We made sure. No one talked.

“Someone had to have said something,” you hoped you hadn’t let something slip, but it was hard to tell. In the last few months, John had gotten more and more obstinate. Only small portions of the stolen cash had been returned, less than half. When the DA decided to prosecute, John’s assets had been seized, though, it had only happened the night before. “What did we miss?”

Somewhere in Kansas City, a small man bustled about his office collecting items to throw into a bag resting on the top of his desk. He stood in front of his bookcase, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the picture frames on the shelves. Pasty skin from too many nighttime stakeouts. Receding hairline, but still, mostly brown. Nose a little too big for his face and his thin lips only accentuated his nose and weak chin. He knew the ladies didn’t look at him. Maybe now things would change. He grabbed the only thing of real value in his office from the shelf and tossed it into the bag. The item made a soft ‘thud’ with a crinkle of paper.

The man sighed as he took one last look around his office. His fingers grasped the zipper of the bag. His gaze falling on the contents of the bag and he smiled. Rows and rows of Andrew Jackson’s looked up at him as he pulled the zipper closed. “Thank you, John,” he said into the quiet, “it was a pleasure doing business with you.” He left his office for the last time, got into his old Camry and left, to anywhere but Kansas City. Maybe he would go somewhere with a beach… He pointed his car to the southeast, hoping to never set foot in Kansas again.

Dean argued with you about eating dinner in the kitchen. He said it was for the convenience of clean up and access to the enormous refrigerator. Since he no longer had the usual options of his favorite takeout establishments, he’d finally begun cooking on his own and had become quite the chef. That night’s meal was a truly spectacular bacon cheeseburger and he’d baked some frozen french fries. However, you’d argued for the War Room table to chow down. Your only points were that it was cool and it lit up. Finding no fault in your argument, you sat at the War Room table, enjoying your delicious meal and talking.

“Bobby getting on your nerves, yet?” he asked between bites. “He can be aggressive.”

“Oh...I don’t think so,” you answered. “I find him very charming.” Bobby did have a rigid sense of procedure, you just needed to learn his way before you could improve them or try anything different.

“Huh. He used to be on my ass from sun up to sun down,” Dean frowned at his fries.

“Such a nice ass, though.”

“Damn right,” he winked at you.

“What do you think he’s doing?” you asked.

John and his whereabouts had been weighing on both of your minds, whether you talked about it or not.

Dean was able to follow your jumps in topics, “Probably on an island, drinking some fruity drink with a stupid umbrella in it.” He continued eating.

“So, is that it? Are we just going to let him get away with it?” you wanted to know.

“Yup.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” he scowled, “he is still my dad, alright? Excuse me if I’m not comfortable hunting down my dad and dragging him through the dirt.”

You hadn’t meant to push too hard. Dean hadn’t wanted to get vicious with his dad from the beginning, but with him running, it had changed things. It also didn’t make sense that he would be okay with his dad potentially being arrested and serving time, only to let him get away with it now.

“What aren’t you saying?” you wanted to know. Dean never gave up so quickly unless he had something else in mind.

“Remember how Sammy was shopping around the business?”

You nodded.

“We called up the most interested one to see how they felt about it now,” he explained.

“And?!”

“They still want to buy,” he took a swig of his beer. Dean’s expression hadn’t changed.

“Why aren’t you happy? Do you not want to sell? What about your dream?” you asked.

“My dream is to be part of something I can be proud of. Doing this to my dad doesn’t make me proud,” he answered. “When I left the last time, I gave it up and now that I’m back running it, it doesn’t feel right. There’s a lot of people without jobs now. Families without a provider. Say all you want, but my dad took care of his people. No. If I get to have a brewery, it’s going to be on my terms and no dark clouds hanging over us. I want the dream, just not like this. There has to be another way.”

You were seeing your future slipping away. You’d spent the last two months working with Bobby. Was that all for nothing? Dean sat across from you looking as serious as a heart attack. You wanted to be with him, that was unquestionable. You just wondered if he knew he was selling your dream with the brewery.

He both loved and hated that he could see every thought and emotion cross her face. She either wouldn’t or couldn’t hide anything from him. Not for the first time, he regretted bringing her into his too often chaotic life.

“Nothing will touch you,” his voice was soft. She was the most important person in his life and he was going to do everything possible to make her happy and safe. “I promise. The dealership isn’t tied to the brewery. The Family Business is a… I don’t know what you call it, an Umbrella Academy.”

“Company,” you said more to yourself than him.

“You will have everything I promised you, I promise,” he said, reaching to take your hand.

Somehow, just feeling the warm strength of his hand in yours made you feel a little better.

“I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, but we’ll get through it and we can go on that vacation you keep talkin’ about, okay?”

You needed to take a few deep breaths. It would be okay. Nothing had stopped you before, nothing was going to stop you now. Steeling yourself, you nodded. There were worse things in the world than slightly unstable employment.

“Okay, I’m with you, whatever happens. I’ve got your back,” your voice wavered, the worry evident in your voice.

He got up from his spot at the table and pulled you up with him. His arms grasping you into his comforting embrace. One arm squeezed around your shoulders, the other had rubbing your back.

“What do you say we go to Minnesota next weekend, have some fun with Donna and Ryan?” he suggested.

He could have said ‘polar plunge’ and you would have agreed. You and he both needed to get away and have a little reset on everything. Just the thought of nothing to do whatsoever had you feeling better about things. It didn’t hurt that the man you loved, and who loved you back, showed you as often as possible.

“That sounds great,” you agreed. “Then Jack can take Harry for a while and we can catch up. I haven’t heard from them in ages, all of them, actually.” It had been maybe three weeks since you’d last talked to Ryan and even longer for Donna and Jack. You didn’t even know what was happening with them…

Dean smiled a little as he looked down at you, “Can’t wait.”

As promised, a week later, you and Dean were on your way to Bemidji. It was the first week of November and the air had finally turned toward more crisp temperatures. Somewhat surprisingly, Dean was letting you drive his precious car. He’d actually asked you to drive. What wasn’t surprising was that Dean was constantly on his phone texting.

“Who are you texting so much?” you needed to know. It had been bugging you for weeks. Whomever it was, he kept his answers to your questions short and sweet with ‘work’ or ‘some jackhole wanting something.’

Dean pushed the button to make the screen go black. “Jack,” was all he said.

“Jack? What did he want?” you didn’t care if you sounded annoyed. Jack was your best buddy, not Dean’s. What the hell? You would let Jack have a piece of your mind if he ever answered your calls or texts, the big jerk.

“I was telling him we were coming up for a visit and thought we could get together, so I’ve been planning a little party,” he explained.

“Oh, for the get together?”

“Yeah,” he was still being vague.

You gave him some hard side-eye.

“Since when are you two besties?” you asked.

“Me ‘n Jack? We’re cool,” he played it off. It was too soon to give up the surprise. “We’re not not friends. He’s cool. We talk.”

“About what, exactly?” you were so suspicious. As far as you knew, Jack and Dean only talked when you needed him to watch Harry.

“You, mostly, and how crazy you are,” he braced himself on the swing he saw coming. With a chuckle, he went on, “Donna dumped him.”

“What? She did?!”

“Yeah. She didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

Donna had been dodging your calls and texting you excuses. It had been more than a little upsetting. Donna had been your friend for far too long to be ghosting you the way she was. At least, it made a little more sense with the news Dean dropped on you.

“Is Jack okay with that?” you had a slight worry for him. Jack was 100% kind of guy. He was either all-in or didn’t give a shit and, you’d hoped, just a little, that maybe Donna would be the all-in.

Dean had accepted long ago that Jack would be in (Y|N)’s life just because of who she was and she would always care about him. Jack was part of her family like Ryan and Donna...but not Chuck, screw that guy.

“I doubt he’s crying in his pillow, sweetheart, if that’s what you’re getting at. We’re also not that kind of friends,” he grinned.

He couldn’t wait for the weekend. It had been driving him crazy to keep the secret for so long. Dean knew it was getting to her, that was obvious, so he’d been making sure to give her attention when she needed it. The last thing he wanted was to blow it and ruin everything. He only had to be careful a little longer.

You were back in Dean’s apartment in Bemidji for only a night and Dean had been acting strange. Stranger than usual. You’d gotten used to him ignoring his phone after seven. You barely noticed his cryptic answers to your questions and how he would leave the room if he did take a call. At first, it made you worry. Dean was quite the catch. Smart, handsome, funny, and with the Family Business, valuable… If he was messing around, he was doing a damned good job of hiding it. Other than the phone calls and texts, nothing unusual. No lipstick on the collar. No perfumes. No loss of affections… He wasn’t cheating, you were almost certain, but he was hiding something.

That morning, you noticed he seemed nervous and commented as much to him.

“What? Me? Nervous? No way!” he scoffed, “I’m cool as a cucumber.”

He definitely was not. You watched as he paced the floor, his arms making big swings as he unclenched his fists and clapped his hands out in front of him.

“Oh really?” you asked, “Cuz you look so wound up that a loud fart might set you off.”

He didn’t even smirk.

“Hey. Let’s go do something this afternoon,” he said. When he saw you perk up, he continued, “We should go somewhere nice.”

“Like...how nice? Dress pants nice or ball gown nice?”

Dean shrugged, “Somewhere in the middle?”

Your mind immediately went to the pale blue, knee-length dress you bought over summer. With all that happened with John, the move, and learning from Bobby, you hadn’t gotten a chance to try it out.

“...okay,” you answered, still wary of his odd behavior.

With a quick nod, Dean said, “Cool,” then immediately left without another word or look in your direction.

A few hours later, Dean text you the time he would come to pick you up. While you were at the apartment, you tried to do a little work and attempted calls to your friends. They were all busy. If they answered, they seemed excited you were in town, but no one could talk. Even Jack dodged you. It would have been nice to talk to someone about how strange your fiance was acting. Focusing on work was almost impossible.

After a while, you were finally able to set the feelings aside and get into the work groove and work until your alarm sounded telling you to get ready. When you were done getting ready for your day date with Dean, you felt a little like Cinderella. Your dress fit a little tighter than you remembered, but you had been stress eating and attributed the tightness to the eclairs and peanut butter cups. The short sleeves went to just above your elbow. Unsure of what shoes to choose for this mystery date, you decided on black flats since the weather was still nice. With only your hair left to do, you looked at the unruly mess that you’d dealt with all your life. Opening the drawer to your left, you dug in the contents until you found a hair tie with shiny beads. Setting it aside, you ran a brush through your hair until it didn’t snag, then put your hair up in a simple ponytail. Calling it good, you text Dean you were ready and started down to the front door.

Dean had been with her most of the morning. She already had a lot done. Mostly, she just needed help setting up. She and Christina had moved a lot of the smaller items out of the great room, but Dean was needed for the larger pieces. Once the room was open, the decorating could begin.

The first time Dean called Ryan, he’d called her on (Y|N)’s phone. When she’d asked, “What the hell?”, he’d responded with, “I wanted to make sure you’d answer” and quickly had her call him back on his phone. After he’d laid out his idea for her, she wasn’t super excited to jump onboard with him. It was only when he called her back to say he couldn’t find a place that meant something to (Y|N) and him that she finally agreed to help and offered her home for the “get together,” as they’d begun to call it.

Surprisingly… or maybe not surprising, Dean knew what he wanted for the “get together” and was very helpful with decisions and choosing the appropriate items. Ryan was impressed with how well he knew her best friend and would have made the same choices.

You descended the stairs anticipating what plans Dean had for you for the day. For a fleeting moment, it had crossed your mind that maybe you’d been duped the entire time. Pushing the door open, the sight of your gorgeous fiance laid all question to rest, for the moment, at least.

He was just getting out of his car when you saw him. Whatever it was he’d been doing that morning, he’d come back wearing your favorite blue suit. For some reason, he always kept a suit in the trunk with a “go bag.” You supposed it made sense with all of the traveling he’d had to do.

When he saw you, he was just closing the car door. Dean stopped and flashed his bright smile at you and leaned back against the car, his hands in the pockets of his wool overcoat. You went directly to him, resting your hands on his chest, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. His mouth smiled against yours and you could feel a chuckle rising up in his chest. Enjoying his always radiating heat, you moved your arms around him, inside his jacket.

Dean put the open ends of his coat around you, his arms holding you close. You loved him and how he made you feel loved in return, just by touching.

“Do you ever wear a coat?” he asked. His mouth was just above your ear.

“If I did, I wouldn’t be able to do this,” you answered.

“C’mon,” he gently pushed you away, then shrugged off his jacket. He held up his coat so you could put it on. Walking you to the passenger side, he opened the car door for you to get in.

He just needed to make it to Ryan’s house, then all of the sneaking around could be over. Dean could keep a secret, but he didn’t like having to do it. It was hard. And he hated hiding it from her, especially since she knew everything else that mattered to him.

Quickly, he got in on his side and the were on the way.

“Where’ve you been all morning and what’s with the suit?” you asked.

“Oh, ...we’re just gonna...jump right into it?” he made a small punching movement.

“Yeah,” you tried to keep your tone playful, “I mean, I’ve been patient. I haven’t nagged you about whatever it is you’ve been hiding from me for months. The texts, the calls, the cryptic answers to my simple questions… You left in your usual at-home clothes and now you’re in a suit. What gives?”

“It’s a surprise,” he shrugged. He wasn’t close enough yet.

You gave Dean a hint of side-eye, “Do you remember our agreement?”

“The one where we help each other and get everything we ever wanted?” he raised his brows at you in question.

You couldn’t be mad at him even if you tried. He did everything he could to make you happy and keep you that way. Usually you saw eye-to-eye on almost everything and rarely argued. If you did argue, it was almost always over food, TV, or movies. Even then, one of you would acquiesce before it got too heated.

“I meant the part where we don’t lie to each other,” you said softly.

It was Dean’s turn to you a look.

“If I told you what I was planning, it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said. “The surprise,” he continued, drawing out his explanation, “was really hard to keep. Everyone is in on it. All the texts and phone calls? It was all of our friends and family helping me get this ready.”

Dean made the 2nd to last turn to Ryan’s house. It was then that you noticed you were following a line of cars and how unusual it was to see out in the country around Ryan’s house.

“Are all of these people going to the get together?” you were at a loss.

Dean nodded, “This year has been insane. And I know we’ve been through a lot...of shit,” he paused for emphasis, “If we can get through all of that and still want to get married, I call that a win.” He took the turn up Ryan’s long driveway.

“All the sneaking was for this?”

He nodded again and parked the car by the front door, just as planned, and got out to open (Y|N)’s door. Dean swung the door wide and held out his hand to help you out of the car.

“So, will you?” he’d really thrown her. His heart was beating in his throat waiting for her to answer, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you said as you got out of his car.

You were utterly confused as he held your hand. Everyone already knew you were engaged, what was the get together for? He had an odd expression on his face as you walked, side by side with him to the door. He seemed nervous, scared, and excited all at the same time.

“Today okay with you?” he asked, walking you to the door.

You sputtered, “It seems like a nice day…” You looked up at the bright fall sky, remarkably clear and blue. “Okay for what?”

Dean waited patiently as your brain caught up to his. You hadn’t even noticed that you were already inside Ryan and Christina’s formal entry. When you looked around, your first thought was, “What the hell kind of party looks like a wedding?”

There were flowers everywhere. All of your favorite kinds seemed to be sitting on every available surface. Soft music was playing over the household sound system… your favorite band. It was one you’d discovered with Dean and you couldn’t get enough. It finally hit you and the shock must have registered on your face.

“You okay? You look like you’re gonna yack,” he observed, “no yacking.”

“Whu...whu... what about my mom… and… and Bobby and Sam?” you were having a hard time forming a coherent thought.

“Typical. Always forgettin’ ‘bout the ol’ man,” Jack had appeared.

“She remembered me, at least,” your mom elbowed Jack. “Dean. Jack. Give us a minute.”

Dean nodded, “I’ll just… be the one down front.”

“Not if I get there first,” Jack teased as they left. You lost track of Dean as he disappeared into the crowd of all your friends and family. Jack hadn’t gone far, but he went far enough for you and your mom to talk privately.

“Dean did it all,” she began. “He mentioned his idea when you guys came to my house last Christmas.”

“And you’re okay with it?” you couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Honey, that boy loves you like Jack never did. He tried so hard to make this day perfect for you...if you’re looking for my blessing… you have it,” your mom reassured you. “He obviously makes you happy and anyone can see that you love him, too.”

Ryan had, somehow, snuck up on you.

“Hey, lady, we doing this?” she asked. “We can change this to the best, no-special-reason party ever.”

“Did you do all of this?”

Ryan scoffed in mock indignation, “Please. Do you really think Impala Guy could pull this spectacular wedding off without me? Come on.”

Ryan searched your face for some kind of answer and since none came from your mouth, “(Y|N), I know it’s a lot, but Dean is the guy. You knew almost right away. No one ever came close to the way Dean loves you. He helped me pick out all of this and stressed over the little things. The meathead,” she nodded in Jack’s direction, “couldn’t even be bothered to give a shit about you enough to do this. Dean is going to love you and take care of you and be with you every step of the way.”

Your eyes flashed to Jack.

��“He knows what he did,” Ryan reminded. “Are you in love with Dean?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Do you want to be with anyone else?”

“No,” you shook your head.

“Good,” Ryan handed you a small bouquet of your favorite flowers, “what better day than today? You look fabulous, by they way. I dig the hair tie.”

Your hands went to your hair.

“No, leave it,” Ryan said, “it’s good.” She motioned Jack to come over.

“It was you Dean was texting?” you said to Ryan.

“Of course, it was me. Don’t be dumb,” she passed it off. “He’s a smitten kitten. You’d think you hung the moon…” Ryan rolled her eyes. The two of you had a long enough history for her to know all of your dirty little secrets.

“The lass has that affect on us fellas,” Jack oozed charm. Sticking out his elbow to you, he said, “Shall we? The laddie’s damn near pissin’ himself by now.”

“You were in on this, too?” you asked.

“Aye. Told ya, you need anything… Figured I outghta be the one to give ye away,” he answered.

You had deep affection for Jack and you hoped the look you gave him said that. You looked around and didn’t spot your blonde, spitfire of a friend, “Is Donna here?”

Jack slightly stiffened his posture. “Suspect she is. Can ye nae feel the chill?” he whispered.

Leave it to Jack to try to lighten the mood. You snickered and gave him a small nudge.

“Maybe it’s comin’ from yer ma,” he joked more. “Jaysus, the look she gave me would turn a lesser man ta stone.”

At that remark, you let out a loud ‘ha!” drawing the attention of curious guests.

“I’m no scairt of much, but yer ma?” he did a full body shiver, “Woman scare the shite out o’ me.”

“Never look directly at Medusa,” you were giggling.

“Never have. It’s how I’ve lived so long,” he was chuckling with you.

After Ryan told you and Jack to get your shit together so she could queue the music, you and he shook off your giggles and settled yourselves. Ryan rolled her eyes again and you recognized the opening strains of Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” beginning to play.

Jack put his hand over yours and looked down at you. His expression silently asking you, “Ready?” When you nodded, he smiled and began walking you down the aisle and the future he knew Dean would give you.

You were glad Jack was there. His pace was the only thing keeping you from running forward to Dean. He’d just stopped forward and his eyes locked with yours. You didn’t even see Donna, Jess, Sam, or Bobby… only Dean. No worries. No fears. Only the excitement one feels knowing they are walking to their destiny. Coming to a stop next to Dean, you snapped out of your dreamy daze at the sound of Bobby’s voice.

“Darlin’, I never thought I’d see this day.”

His smile warmed you and you realized it was the first time you’d seen him without a hat. He looked so handsome.

“Oh, Bobby, you got dressed up,” you sighed.

“Still can’t believe this idjit’s getting married,” he tipped his head toward Dean, “Thought I’d better mark the occasion.”

In a quick moment, Jack kissed your temple and left you with Dean. From the time you walked in Ryan’s house, you felt like you were on a runaway rollercoaster. When Jack put your hand in Dean’s, you were no longer terrified of running off the rails. You were where you were supposed to be and time finally seemed to slow down enough to where you could concentrate on what was happening. You couldn’t have wished for anything more than what was right next to you.

You looked over at Dean. He must have felt the exact same as you. Scared and excited at the same time. You’d never thought you’d be so happy and ready to get married and now, it was all you wanted. He squeezed your hand and you smiled at him.

“Whatdya say we get this show on the road?” Bobby whispered to you both.

Your eyes were locked with Dean’s, “I am so ready.”

If I could make a wish

I think I'd pass

Can't think of anything I need

No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound

Nothing to eat, no books to read

Making love with you

Has left me peaceful warm and tired

What more could I ask

There's nothing left to be desired

Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak

So sleep, silent angel go to sleep

Epilogue:

Ryan had managed to catch a moment with Donna while the new bride and groom were getting ready to leave the shindig. Donna, of course, had made the cake and brought her famous donuts. The two best friends of the bride each had a donut and were watching from the front door as they were getting into Dean’s Impala.

“Welp, I guess we don’t haaaafta kill him,” Donna mused.

Ryan looked at how (Y|N) and Dean were both beaming, “Yeah, not unless he’s a monster.”

“Oh yeah, then we’re doin’ it. I got a wood chipper,” Donna added.

“I know a guy with a hog farm,” Ryan offered.

The two ladies looked at each other and cheers’d with donuts.

The wedding had been a flurry of activity and partying that had left the day a blur except for the feeling of finally being Mrs. Dean Winchester. Dean wasn’t done with his surprise, though. The next afternoon, when you’d both recovered from the day before, he slipped you two tickets to paradise. He actually got on an airplane with you and went to your dream vacation location, the Maldives. Clothing, of course, was optional. Two whole weeks in the topics in November couldn’t have been more perfect. Leaving the islands was tough but it had been the much needed break you both had needed so badly.

The sale of the brewery began. When it was all said and done, it would take over a year to complete and you and Dean would be free of that ball and chain. Dean stayed busy with running the brewery in the meantime, but he still took time on weekends to look for places to begin his brewery.

What neither of you had expected, or planned, was another little surprise that came along in May… and you named her Nova Grace Winchester.

#a mutually beneficial arrangement #au dean x you #au dean winchester x reader #Dean Winchester x reader #Dean Winchester x you #spn fan fiction #dean x you #dean x reader

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uncheckedtomfoolery · 6 years

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Some youkai for your consideration

I’ve often thought it’s a bit of a shame that the legions of Touhou OCs out there seem to limit themselves to shrine maidens, outsiders, the occasional god and ‘actually Remilia has another sister’, when there’s such an enormous wealth of as yet unused legends to pick from. While it’s somewhat off-brand for me, I’ve decided to actually try and change this rather than just sit and complain.

Below the cut, you’ll find a bunch of youkai with a mix of descriptions and suggestions plus, where possible, a link to Wiki or another resource. Anyone who doesn’t care for Touhou might still find some interesting/bizarre folklore (but I repeat myself).

Gashadokuro: Starting strong with a gigantic skeleton. Or, depending on the legend, a swarm and/or gestalt of skeletons. The latter is more accurate, but a popular painting depicted on the wiki page has more or less overwritten the popular perception. The Gashadokuro is said to be invulnerable and invisible, though you can hear it (a ringing sound, surprisingly, and not its footsteps); you can probably also tell it’s around if you’re not completely blind. Being formed from the unburied bodies of those either starved or killed in war, it’s mostly grumpy and hungry, and stalks around biting heads off random people to drink the blood, like a really gory and inefficient vampire. You can probably do some kind of ribcage-coat-and-skull-hat deal if you don’t want to outright go with a skeleton, series aesthetic being what it is. A bamboo eyepatch might be a fun nod to the myth often conflated with it, too (as noted on the Wiki page).

Namahage: Approximately Japanese Krampus with a ridiculously strong northern Japanese accent. They go from house to house brandishing buckets (why? Not a clue) and giant knives or outright machetes, yelling at kids and generally scaring them into behaving. At the request of parents (who give them gifts of mochi), they might throw in a special lesson as well. Then they stomp off to wherever they came from. Originally this was a ‘be good, or...’ kind of myth where the community played into it, but hey, youkai potential. Probably playing the exact same role, which could be funny.

Azukitogi: An old favourite just for being profoundly weird and irrelevant. The Azukitogi is an old man (according to some sources; I’ve always heard the stories casting it as an old woman) who washes their azuki in a river, musing on whether they should keep at it or go eat someone. The latter, to my knowledge, never actually happens, so it’s just a morbid youkai talking to themselves. If you get close, depending on the telling, you will drop into the river. That’s it. It’s just an ugly humanoid youkai sitting around washing beans in the middle of the night, muttering. I feel like it captures the ‘some of them are just kind of there’ spirit of youkai perfectly.

Heikegani: Reaching into animal youkai here, sort of; some do theorise that it’s a kind of haunting. You see, Heikegani have shells that look a bit like scowling samurai masks, and as such, were believed to be the reincarnated souls of Heike clan warriors who died at sea in the sea battle of Dan-no-Ura. Combine that with the whole animal youkai thing and you can easily wrangle up... oh, an extraordinarily (if misleadingly) grumpy-looking, 24/7 armour-wearing crab youkai who has way too many swords. Optionally a ghost. ...What, you don’t think they really look like that? Here you go, then.

Chochin-Obake: Okay, I won’t pretend this is especially innovative. It’s low-hanging fruit, and it’s simple: The archetypical lantern tsukumogami. As such it’s kind of astonishing that I haven’t seen this done more, though?

Todomeki: Literally the ‘demon with hundreds of eyes’, the Todomeki is a towering humanoid woman with countless bird eyes covering her ridiculously long arms. The eyes are, according to several brands of moon logic living in happy coexistence, a symbolic punishment for stealing. No theft occurs in the stories of the Todomeki, and she has a lot of weird powers from somewhere, so this is... weird. Her stories feature her scaring people in a horse graveyard (I did not know this was a thing) for no apparent reason, spouting fire and breathing poison gas, then coming back a long time later to collect the blood and poison gas that she lost so she can recover. I want to further note there was a 400 year delay in between the horse graveyard fight and ‘oh yeah I should go back for my blood and nerve gas’. Possibly for Touhou this gets toned down to a suspicious mess of stolen goods, and eye patterns all over the sleeves of her dress.

Nurikabe: Another in the ‘some Youkai just exist’ brand, the Nurikabe is a living wall of indeterminate origin (depictions make it look kind of dog-like for some reason?) that extends forever. If you knock on it politely, it disappears. Theories on how the myth came about, on the other hand, tend to be either explaining lost travelers... or dietary changes in the lower classes during the Edo period, which led to an outbreak of fatigue and night-blindness. You’d stagger home in the evening, hit a wall you can barely see, and feel like it goes on forever because you’re so tired. Of note, also, is the popular (in Japan, anyhow) Gegege no Kitaro adaptation. Imagine someone buying a figure of this. I don’t understand. To wrap up, the Nurikabe’s motivation is purely to mess with people, as far as anyone can tell. Some theories attribute it to tanuki instead. Oh, and a mountain variety growing out of the mountainside, the Nuribo, also exists.

Ittan-Momen (or here, but there’s not much to be found anywhere): This one provides an interesting counterpoint as an entirely hostile tsukumogami. It’s a roll of cotton that flies on the wind, native to Kagoshima, and either sneaks into houses or bears down on travelers in the middle of the night, wrapping around their face and suffocating them out of sheer spite. It is quite possibly the world’s most hostile blanket, or the ultimate evolution of the sheet ghost.

Inugami (WARNING: Gross and terrible things happen to dogs in the wiki text; do not click if this will upset you greatly): As much a brand of ritual as a creature, the Inugami is the result of one of multiple processes in southern Japan’s distant past that would result in the creation of a vaguely canine spirit. The spirit (described as variations on the theme of a tiny black and white floating thing with a dog’s head) will possess your enemies, bring them to ruin, bring you prosperity, or whatever depending on the telling. It will also haunt your family for generations, so this is kind of a Faustian deal. On the other hand, it has reasons for being angry.

Oboroguruma: A literal monster truck An oxcart, translucent and ghostly, with a giant face on the front. It rattles up to your doorway and makes squeaking noises until you step out and see the cart there, whereupon it appears to do nothing in particular. Youkai. It’s some pretty striking imagery though, which is no surprise since, as the link elaborates, the art came before a story. According to the after-the-fact backstory, it uh, feeds on the petty grumbling of spoiled aristocrats, which seems fairly harmless? Ghost taxi.

Kamaitachi: Another high-profile, if minor youkai. This one has... a thousand origin stories and variations depending on where you go in Japan. I’ll let you hit the link yourself. The core of it is an etymological corruption turned pun. A weasel with sickles for arms, taking the form of a dust devil, whirlwind or just a gale, with the weasel either at the heart of it or invisible outright. The wind cuts people; thus the term Kamaitachi is actually used to this day to refer to any sort of strong wind that feels like it’s cutting/biting into you. I’m going to toss in an excellent drawing by @moominpappa also. Here it is.

Basan: A giant chicken that lives in forests and breathes fire, which as a combination strikes me as a non-survival trait, but what do I know? It... makes bird noises outside but disappears when humans look at it, which strikes me as extremely convenient. I mention it solely because- I mean, click the link. It looks utterly ridiculous. I love it.

Kodama: Alternatively Kotodama, literally ‘tree soul’ or ‘tree spirit’. They’re the spirit of any sacred or spiritually significant tree, a Shinto god of the small-g variety (that is to say, welcome to animism, where everything is a god but not necessarily a high-profile one). You know those little black and white guys from Princess Mononoke? Yeah, those are the ones. They’re basically minor guardian spirits for their tree, and the reason you’ll see trees ringed with braided rope and paper tassels all around Japan. When it’s depicted as anything other than the actual tree, Kodama tend to be pretty small. They’re benevolent unless, of course, you try to cut the tree down, at which point you will pay dearly (but more in the ‘curse your house for seven generations’ sense than ‘whoops, tree ate you’).

Jinmenju (or Ninmenju): The Jinmenju is possibly an extremely displaced Arabic legend about the Waqwaq Tree. It apparently serves no real purpose except to really creep people out, and even that, only by accident. The Jinmenju has fruit shaped like human heads complete with a face (ditto the seeds within), which smiles constantly. If you laugh at it, it will laugh back at you, but laughing too hard will make the fruit fall off. You can eat them, and the tree will not object, nor the fruit. It’s said to be sweet and sour, which carries the horrible implication that someone thought this was a good idea. According to Mizuki Shigeru, there are stories of people who (for some godforsaken reason) planted orchards of these things. They’re mostly found in the south, which probably deserves it for the whole inugami business. Design-wise, you might tone this down by giving the character a green or brown robe with smiling faces drawn all over it (or cut out, Hata no Kokoro-style), and a wooden mask over their actual face (if one exists). Optionally, combine it with the previous youkai so there’s a kodama perched on her shoulder.

That’s about it for now, but I do want to point out that if you want to look further, Yokai.com is a pretty good resource and frequently a more comprehensive one than Wikipedia. Have fun making incredibly weird youkai.

#Touhou #Folklore #Writing #Kind of? It's a resource of sorts

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