(Not sure if I can qualify for another prompt after the last wonderful prompt fill but here goes:
The Academy was perfectly fine with Shikamaru’s imaginary friend Shikako, until she managed to ____.
Oh dona, there are so many things that can fill in that blank. SO MANY THINGS. And, I’ll be honest, a lot of what comes to my mind range from funny to alarming.
But the on that I think is the most encompassing—without being too boring—is simply “get caught.”
Because that opens up so many opportunities for what else she could have been doing before she got caught in such a way that also builds a dynamic between those who are in on it (ie, the Rookie Nine, maybe even the full Konoha Twelve since Team Gai IS only just one year older) and those who aren’t (presumably the teachers of the Academy)
However, in order to narrow this fic down into something writable, I should figure what Shikako is doing before she gets caught… and, maybe this is just me, but I kinda like the idea of… now maybe this is too specific… but basically, Shikamaru’s imaginary friend Shikako, aka his literal sentient eldritch horror twin sister that lives in his shadow, just straight up eating Danzo.
Just. How do you get rid of something? Eat it.
Because, like… okay. My brain goes something like this:
“Hm,” says Shikamaru as they hide in the treetops from Iruka-sensei.
Normally, Shikamaru is content with being out of the classroom that, outside from telling them the plan needed to ditch and stay hidden, he stays pretty quiet either cloud watching or napping.
Chouji, in his spot next to Shikamaru and equally satisfied with just being outside, is the only one to hear him. “What is it?” He asks.
That gets Kiba and Naruto to perk up, starting to get bored after their flawless escape with minimal conflict.
“Shikako says she’s hungry.”
Good friend that he is, Chouji offers some of his chips. A tendril of Shikamaru’s shadow shakily takes one, wobbling even under that weight, but Shikako is also a good friend so she eats it.
Well. She tries, anyway. Shikamaru’s shadow curls around it, mimicking a chewing motion, but it remains unchanged.
After a moment, Shikamaru reports, “Shikako says thank you, but she might need to eat something else specifically?”
Naruto, ever curious asks, “What does a shadow even eat?”
Shikamaru shrugs. “She says she’ll know it when we find it.”
Kiba, and an Akamaru squirming with eagerness, declares, “Akamaru and I are the best and finding stuff. We’ll get it in no time.”
—
Iruka-sensei finds them before they find the ambiguous “it.”
To be fair, they were searching through the refrigerator in the teacher’s lounge, and their self assigned mission had carried them through to lunch time. So really it was their own fault.
Didn’t stop Naruto, Kiba, and Akamaru from yelling and howling up a storm as Iruka-sensei grabbed the two boys by the collars of their shirts. Mizuki-sensei at least just gestured his two charges forward, trusting that Shikamaru and Chouji would cooperate since they had been caught fair and square. And plus, it was lunch time.
Distracted as they were, none of the boys noticed Shikamaru’s shadow stretch itself to connect to Mizuki-sensei’s.
Without that context, none of them made the connection when, not even a minute later, Mizuki-sensei stumbled, nearly falling, before catching himself in an uncertain stance.
“You okay?” Iruka-sensei asked, caregiving nature winning over his desire to continue lecturing the boys.
Mizuki-sensei waved him off with a strained laugh, “Ha, I just felt a little tired—midday slump, probably.”
Kiba and Naruto, sensing weakness, re-aim their efforts from complaining to making fun of Mizuki-sensei’s age. It draws his ire, never mind that he tries to seem cooler than Iruka-sensei, but he musters a woozy, half-hearted defense at best.
Shikamaru glances at his shadow, darker and deeper than it was before.
Shikako isn’t as hungry anymore.
—
A/N: And then something something Ino and Sakura spot the boys questing for Shikako’s food and they also believe in/like Shikako anyway so they try to help out, Shino gets pulled in because they end up on Aburame territory and he’s holding his smiling baby sister and his untouchable vibes are way lowered, at some point they’re like… maybe Hinata can use her cool eyes to FIND what Shikako needs (and she’s stalking Naruto anyway so we might as well actively include her) and then Sasuke kind of feels left out ALTHOUGH… I may have a separate thing for how Sasuke gets pulled in.
Anyway the kids try to figure out what she’s doing—she doesn’t eat chakra, she eats life energy, but only out of people that she wants to kill anyway and the amount she eats from them is maybe based on how much she wants to kill them? (she really does almost eat Kabuto to death the first time they encounter him lol)—and they’re like… well… we also don’t like the people Shikako doesn’t like anyway?
Here’s where plot maybe comes in and maybe where Sasuke gets pulled in but basically if this is pre-Uchiha Massacre then there could be a day when Itachi goes to pick up the little Uchiha members from the Academy and Shikako is just like ??? DO I want to kill and eat him??? because he hasn’t done anything (YET) so it’s just like… the rest of the kids investigating into Sasuke to investigate into Itachi which then somehow Scooby Doo style gets them to Danzo and MAYBE he’s being a creeper and visiting the Academy to recruit future ROOT agents or MAYBE the Academy building is near the Hokage’s Tower (I think???) or Shisui and Itachi are BOTH picking up the various Uchiha Academy students and Danzo tries to use the opportunity to intimidate/threaten them both “subtly” and Shikako’s just like !!!!! FEAST MODE!!!! And fully just eldritch style swallows him whole in front of some Academy teachers :)
And it’s not like Shikamaru can get in trouble because he’s BEEN telling the truth about his imaginary friend Shikako the whole time. And as far as they know it LOOKS like a Nara clan technique so they’re like… well… uh… maybe we should tell the Jounin Commander about this.
And Shikaku’s just like… uh… Kasuga… what the fuck… And Kasuga turns to Sembei-obaasan and also asks what the fuck… And Sembei-obaasan has to search deep deep into the Nara oral tradition for what the fuck is going on
And Shikako is just in Shikamaru’s shadow, totally pleased with herself. I’m not hungry anymore :)
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So if I wrote Naruto list of deaths I would make happen (that did not happen in current canon)
Chouji (after his battle during the Sasuke Retrieval Arc)
Hinata (she dies protecting Neji instead of the other way around)
Gai (after he fought Madara)
Shikamaru (after his plan to defeat Hidan)(yes I'm aware I'm killing both of Ino's teammates)
Kakashi (Pein doesn't resurrect everyone)
Tsunade (dies in her coma, Danzou becomes Hokage after her, also a way to basically force Naruto nad Sakura against the state so they don't be dicks to their genocide survivor teammate)
Orochimaru (no resurrection)
Kabuto (idk I just want him dead, probably during the war)
All I can think of off the top of my head
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