#cmon guys just another and i'm done and i'll stop spamming you

[janiedean]

ELECTIONS TIME PART ONE

HELLO SAM AGAIN

“The suggestion outraged some of the others. “Do you want the king to wipe our arses for us too?” said Cotter Pyke angrily. “The choice of a Lord Commander belongs to the Sworn Brothers, and to them alone,” insisted Ser Denys Mallister. “If they choose wisely they won’t be choosing me,” moaned Dolorous Edd.”

which is why they should choose you edd lmfao I love edd sfm that said GO EDD GO PYKE GO MALLISTER CHAMPION DEMOCRACY IN THIS FUCKING MONARCHIC HELLHOLE

“Stannis ground his teeth. “It is not my wish to tamper with your rights and traditions. As to royal guidance, Janos, if you mean that I ought to tell your brothers to choose you, have the courage to say so.” That took Lord Janos aback. He smiled uncertainly and began to sweat, but Bowen Marsh beside him said, “Who better to command the black cloaks than a man who once commanded the gold, sire?” “Any of you, I would think. Even the cook.” The look the king gave Slynt was cold. “Janos was hardly the first gold cloak ever to take a bribe, I grant you, but he may have been the first commander to fatten his purse by selling places and promotions. By the end he must have had half the officers in the City Watch paying him part of their wages. Isn’t that so, Janos?”

WHY ISN’T THE ENDGAME STANNIS BEING KING BECAUSE STANNIS IS THE ONLY ASSHOLE WHO KNOWS WHAT’S UP

“I am aware of that. If it happens that Lord Janos here is the best the Night’s Watch can offer, I shall grit my teeth and choke him down. It is naught to me which man of you is chosen, so long as you make a choice. We have a war to fight.”

STANNIS U R SUCH A MOOD

maybe stannis is mattarella actually

that would make a lot of sense

“We’ll defend the Wall to the last man,” said Cotter Pyke. “Probably me,” said Dolorous Edd, in a resigned tone.”

grrm how much do I have to bribe you for an edd pov because I would bribe you for it

“Sam the Slayer.” Melisandre smiled. Sam felt his face turning red. “No, my lady. Your Grace. I mean, I am, yes. I’m Samwell Tarly, yes.” “Your father is an able soldier,” King Stannis said. “He defeated my brother once, at Ashford. Mace Tyrell has been pleased to claim the honors for that victory, but Lord Randyll had decided matters before Tyrell ever found the battlefield. He slew Lord Cafferen with that great Valyrian sword of his and sent his head to Aerys.” The king rubbed his jaw with a finger. “You are not the sort of son I would expect such a man to have.” “I . . . I am not the sort of son he wanted, sire.” “If you had not taken the black, you would make a useful hostage,” Stannis mused. “He has taken the black, sire,” Maester Aemon pointed out. “I am well aware of that,” the king said. “I am aware of more than you know, Aemon Targaryen.”

I AM SO SAD WE NEVER GOT THIS COMEDY GOLD IN THE SHOW TBQH

“I recall,” Maester Aemon said, “but Sam, I am a maester, chained and sworn. My duty is to counsel the Lord Commander, whoever he might be. It would not be proper for me to be seen to favor one contender over another.” “I’m not a maester,” said Sam. “Could I do something?” Aemon turned his blind white eyes toward Sam’s face, and smiled softy. “Why, I don’t know, Samwell. Could you?”

rhaegar who, dany who, AEMON FOR SMARTEST TARGARYEN IN EXISTENCE TBH AEMON ILY SO MUCH

“My lord of Tarly,” he said, when his steward brought Sam to him in the Lance, where the Shadow Tower men were staying. “I am pleased to see that you’ve recovered from your ordeal. Might I offer you a cup of wine? Your lady mother is a Florent, I recall. One day I must tell you about the time I unhorsed both of your grandfathers in the same tourney. Not today, though, I know we have more pressing concerns. You come from Maester Aemon, to be sure. Does he have counsel to offer me?”

lmao denys <33333 at least someone has manners in this bloody mess

“There’s another man,” Sam blurted out. “Lord Commander Mormont trusted him. So did Donal Noye and Qhorin Halfhand. Though he’s not as highly born as you, he comes from old blood. He was castle-born and castle-raised, and he learned sword and lance from a knight and letters from a maester of the Citadel. His father was a lord, and his brother a king.”

SAM <333 3LOOK AT HOW NICELY YOU SPEAK OF YOUR BOYFRIEND <33333 YEAH YEAH YEAH I KNOW I’M CHOOSING TO IGNORE ADWD FOR NOW THERE’S JUST SO MUCH SUFFERING I CAN HANDLE

“What have I done? he thought. What have I said? If they caught him in his lie, they would . . . what? Send me to the Wall? Rip my entrails out? Turn me into a wight? Suddenly it all seemed absurd. How could he be so frightened of Cotter Pyke and Ser Denys Mallister, when he had seen a raven eating Small Paul’s face?”

SAM ILU SFM

“No. A fighter. Donal Noye gave him the Wall when the wildlings came, and he was the Old Bear’s squire. The only thing is, he’s bastard-born.” Cotter Pyke laughed. “Bloody hell. That would shove a spear up Mallister’s arse, wouldn’t it? Might be worth it just for that. How bad could the boy be?” He snorted. “I’d be better, though. I’m what’s needed, any fool can see that.” “Any fool,” Sam agreed, “even me. But . . . well, I shouldn’t be telling you, but . . . King Stannis means to force Ser Denys on us, if we do not choose a man tonight. I heard him tell Maester Aemon that, after the rest of you were sent away.”

SAM LMAO <33333333333333 YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE SPY WORK

#asos reread #long post for ts #otp: we're brothers now #ch: jon snow #ch: samwell tarly #cmon guys just another and i'm done and i'll stop spamming you #little grunge blueberry