#could be something else entirely of course Im just studying my big three rn

[touyota]

Catfish

☁ Summary: Tomura is hopeless when it comes to relationships, and soon that’s all subject to change. With the power of Tinder, Touya and one oblivious chick on his side, who knows what can happen. 

A/N: omgggg, i’ve lurked on my priv for the past year and finally decided to stop being a narc and post something. i haven’t written in forever and it shows lmao, but uh yeah pls give me feedback if you’d like. (also idk if this has been. done before, but sorryyy if it has)

☁ Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!Reader

☁ Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, manipulation, dumbfication (if you squint), slapping, yandere, catfishing 

"Fuck I'm horny." 

Tomura groaned into his pillow, conflicted with whether he should be agitated or turned on. Due to his third nap of the day being interrupted by the excessive lewd noises coming from the shared living room. Tomura's roommate, Touya, had no real understanding of boundaries and was often more bothersome than helpful. Still, without his portion of the rent, he'd be on the streets struggling to find an apartment within his meager budget.

"Keep fucking me, Touya-san!" The plea echoed through the thin walls of the shoddy apartment. At least someone was getting laid. The last time Tomura had gotten lucky was at an impromptu Halloween party thrown by Touya at the apartment. 

He went as Jason Vorhees using a dingy hockey mask he found in Touya's closet. The poor girl in question, who came dressed as an angel, was drunk out of her mind. She clung to Tomura's scrawny body incoherently, slurring about "How hot it would be to fuck a murderer." The fling hadn't lasted long before the young lady in question toppled over the side of his bed and hurled her entire cup of jungle juice onto the floor. Poor Tomura had to spend his night nursing her head over the toilet. Making a mental note to tell Touya that he couldn't invite any freshmen to their parties ever again.

Tomura ended up seeing her again in passing on campus, giving a small smile as she walked by. Only to be met with an eye roll as she turned to walk in the opposite direction. Fucking bitch... Other than that, Tomura had found himself too busy writing code, playing video games, and browsing Reddit to dedicate any time to dating. The polar opposite of his roomie Touya-san, a communications major whose schedule consisted of dating? If you considered fucking the same chick for a week before ghosting her dating, sleeping, and eating and drinking Tomura out of a house and home.

"You ready for my load? You're my little cum dump, right? Say you're my cum du-"

Speaking of fucking, Tomura's hard-on was starting to hurt, and what better way to relieve himself than to beat off to the action in the adjacent room. 

He started to palm himself over his sweats, erection already beginning to poke through. Figuring that he's teased himself enough, he lowered his boxers, allowing his cock to slap against his stomach, throbbing and angry. He slowly stroked himself, gathering the pre-cum spouting from the tip, and used it to lube the rest of his cock.

"Pleaseee fuck! I'm your little cum dump! I swear Touya!" 

Tomura started to stroke his cock faster, leaving a squelching noise with each stroke. He was barely managing to suppress his moans. Knowing how Touya wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he got caught fucking his hand to the sounds of their subtle lovemaking. 

"Fuckfuckfuck... I'm cumming!" Touya grunted, giving out after his final stroke.

Tomura followed suit, flicking his wrist with each stroke. As his orgasm finally took hold of him, biting into his shirt to stifle his moan as he came all over his fist. 

"Are you fucking serious, Touya?"

"What?" 

"I didn't get to cum?"

"Um… I'm sure you can take care of that when you get home."

"You're such a piece of sh-"

Tomura tuned out the rest of his roommate's performance. Really hoping he'd wrap it up cause he really needed to take a piss and couldn't make it to the bathroom without passing through the living room. 

After hearing a respectable amount of silence, he figured it was safe to leave the room. Of course, he was wrong; he was met with a staredown between Touya and a petite blonde woman.

"I'm sure your roommate Tenko wouldn't leave a lady hanging like that."

"It's Tomura," he muttered.

"Same fucking thing, my point still stands," The mystery woman huffed. There was a pregnant pause before Touya doubled over in laughter, clutching his chest.

"You think this cuck knows how to take care of a lady? Yeah, it's time to go, Tara."

"It's Toga, you shit stai-"her statement was abruptly interrupted, the door slamming in her face. Touya's back slid down against the door as he sat facing Tomura. 

"Chicks? Am I right?" Touya sighed, peering over at Tomura, who had just left the bathroom. "Speaking of chicks, when's the last time you had sex, Shiggy?"

"It's been... a while." Tomura shrugged, not wanting to indulge his roommate with the details of his sex life.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Let's make you a Tinder." Touya proudly announced, excited at the prospect of playing matchmaker for his roommate. Tomura reluctantly gave in, knowing once Touya was set on something, it was bound to happen one way or another. 

Two blunts later, Tomura and Touya were strewn over the couch, mulling over his profile's final details. It consisted of three pics, one from the Halloween party, another from their most recent function. The last pic is a selfie of him in a black hoodie with sunglasses on. The icing on top is the bio that unironically stated, "Freak in the sheets, gamer in the streets."

"You're gonna be a real pussy magnet shiggy. Just wait, you'll have to fight the chicks off with a stick after they see this." Touya chuckled as he took another puff of the blunt.

"Go to hell and stop hogging; you didn't put shit in on this anyways," Tomura muttered as he snatched the blunt away to take a pull. Maybe he would find some success, he entertained the concept of having a consistent fuck buddy, but sometimes he was lonely and just wanted someone to lay up with. He wanted to be optimistic about something for once, taking his final pull and ashing the blunt out. The smoky haze and intoxicating scent lulling him to sleep. 

Fuck optimism, Tomura thought. It had been three days with zero matches or messages, and he was starting to think there had to be a glitch in the system. The only time he had seen a match is when he accidentally swiped on Midnight's profile, a famous Only fans content creator who specialized in BDSM. The same Midnight that he happened to be a top donor for and occasionally bought panties from, but that's beside the point. The profile was poorly made with blurry, uncropped pics taken straight from her social media profiles. The lack of detail and legitimacy was apparent. Tomura felt terrible for the poor soul who probably fell for it, but it made him think… 

Why not see how different the response would be if he ran a profile under someone else's guise.  Someone more attractive, someone more affluent, and someone more famous. This was simply a social experiment; no harm would come from it of course. He would simply ghost anyone who wanted to meet, keeping all interactions virtual. Now who could he possibly pretend to be. without getting caught. Tomura's eyes finally settled on an Axe ad playing on tv featuring male model Keigo Takami. Mr. tall, blonde, and handsome would definitely attract the feminine masses.  

Ding ding ding, it was like a bell went off in his head; he had found his new look. He started to scour the internet for any pictures of Hawks that weren't already posted to his socials and be sure to crop any evidence out. A few hours later, Tomura gazed over his final product. He thought it seemed too good to be true; he was sure that anyone with a working brain would know the profile was clearly a catfish. It was too clean, too pristine, and too perfect, but Tomura was tired of the profile's nit-picking details and saved his last changes. It was starting to get dark, and he had to begin his Comp Sci homework soon so he'd have time to play zombies on Call of Duty later. 

Tomura woke to a multitude of buzzes notifying him of the several hundred matches he'd accumulated overnight on his Hawks profile. Apparently, no one had a working brain within the 15-mile radius. The messages were filled with tons of chicks he had seen on campus or in class. He even recognized the one from the Halloween party. He spent his morning smoke break, siphoning through the various contenders.

Too tall.

Too blonde.

Too ugly. 

Until...

He finally stopped scrolling when he reached your profile; he had seen you before in his Major classes. You were a somewhat modest girl, always working to be an overachiever and teacher's pet. You hadn't spoken to him before, only forcing a smile when Tomura was caught staring at you in class. You were talented, beautiful, quiet, and you hadn't encountered Touya yet. You were everything he had wanted, and more. He started to type a message awaiting your response.

Keigo: "What's keeping you up this late, love ;)" 

Tomura thought to keep it casual enough to fit his suave persona.

Y/N: "lol, just sum late night studying keeping me up."

Y/N: "won't lie im very nervous to texting you rn, i'm a big fan 

Keigo: "it's gud knowing i have fans as cute as you ;p"

The conversation seemed to flow from there between you two, texting for almost two weeks strong. Tomura had learned so much about you in a short time, your favorite foods, your favorite color, favorite music, and your dislikes as well. Touya often came by his room to check in on Operation: Get Shiggy Some Pussy, only to be met with a "Fuck off," and yet another door slammed in his face. 

You gushed over how lucky you were to be texting the one and only Keigo Takami. Of course, you were skeptical at first, but what kind of fucked up person would take the time to pretend to be another person? The conversation between you two was great and always kept you on your toes. Still, sometimes days would pass before you received a response; you chalked it to the fact that he was always busy as a celebrity and didn't always have time to respond to you. 

You were currently lying in bed and unable to fall asleep; you peered at your phone to see that it was 2:05 am. You let out a sigh, preparing to stare at your ceiling until you finally fell asleep, only to be interrupted by a chime from your phone. It was a message from Keigo. 

Keigo: you up? ;(

You instantly typed a response, scared that you had done something wrong.

Y/N: yup, what's wrong…?

Keigo: i'm so fucking hard rn baby ;(((

Oh shit, you hadn't prepared yourself for that response; maybe he injured himself at work or-

Keigo: you still there babe? send a pic ;p

You definitely hadn't prepared for that, but who were you to deny him. Keigo could've asked anyone else in the world, but he asked you. Not wanting to leave him waiting, you quickly shucked your shirt off and used your arm to push up your breasts, giving an illusion of the perfect push up bra. You promptly took several pics, taking the time to edit and select the ideal filters to complement your skin tone.

Y/N: 1 image sent

A bubble indicating him typing popped up instantly 

Keigo: 3 images sent

Keigo: fuckkkk babe, ur such a tease

You opened the pics, feeling your panties dampen slightly. It was a cock, well Keigo's cock, fat and engorged, leaking pre-cum against his toned belly. He was mostly well-groomed, but a prominent white tuft of hair appears in the picture, making you wonder if Keigo was actually a natural blonde.

Keigo: 1 video sent

 let me see that pretty pussy baby, 

It was a video of Keigo languidly stroking his cock, how romantic. It was only right for a gorgeous man like Keigo to have a pretty cock to match. What he lacked in girth was definitely made up for in length, complemented with a slight curve that could definitely reach that itch that none of your toys could scratch.  By now, you had ditched your panties and started to slowly start to fuck yourself open with one finger at a time. You started recording and angled the phone against your pillow, trying to capture you desperately fucking yourself on your fingers, letting out a small whimper with each thrust.

Y/N: 1 video sent 

You began to fuck yourself vigorously, dragging the accumulated slick over your clit with slow, circular strokes. You felt your orgasm on the brink, growing more restless and desperate, humping reverently at your fingers, whimpering desperately; you were so close...There was a sudden surge of fluid from your core, incoherent mumbles leaving your mouth as you kept carefully fucked yourself through your climax. The post-orgasm bliss lulling you to sleep, your eyes had finally fluttered shut, only to be awakened by another chime. 

Keigo: 1 image sent 

look @ all that cum baby, its all for you ;)

Y/N: when can we meet? my fingers can only work for so long :p

Read: 2:53 am

Aw man, maybe he fell asleep. You were definitely fighting sleep at this point as well, finally closing your eyes, satisfied for the night. 

Tomura struggled to catch his breath, reaching for his discarded shirt to wipe the sticky cum off of his stomach. That was the third time this month you'd ask about a meeting, and it was frankly starting to piss him off. He'd have to come up with something fast if he wanted to keep you around. Even though he didn't have much of a moral compass left in his body, the feeling of guilt was hard to ignore. You didn't deserve to be roped into his fucked up social experiment… 

A yawn interrupted Tomura's guilty thoughts. He could continue to feel guilty when he wakes up tomorrow.

 The following week your prayers had been answered, Keigo finally agreed to meet! It had been such a bittersweet feeling. What if he thought you looked nothing like your profile pictures? Would he reject you and run the other way, screaming? You tried to push your doubtful feelings down by distracting yourself with running errands. Finding the perfect outfit to wear, getting every inch of your body waxed, and picking up a lacy red lingerie set. 

Upon getting back to your apartment, you found a red bouquet of roses on the doormat. They were clearly store-bought and not of excellent quality… but it's the thought that counts! 

Lots of celebrities were frugal, and of course, Keigo was no different. After further inspection, a small white card with an address and time. You searched the address finding a mid-grade hotel on the outskirts of the city. Keigo was definitely a (cheap) frugal man dedicated to his discretion. Soon realizing that the time on the card was approaching, you quickly ran to shower and primp yourself for the evening. Not even thinking to question how he found your address in the first place...

You had finally arrived at the sketchy hotel, noting that there were little to no cars in the parking lot and noting that none of them looked like they belonged to Keigo. You wandered through the lobby until you finally reached the elevator, tapping the button for the 5th floor. You tried to shake off your pre-meeting jitters, you already knew everything would be fine, but you couldn't shake the feeling of something wrong...

Those intrusive thoughts were soon interrupted by the chime that indicated you had reached your floor. You took a deep breath as you stepped off the elevator, pacing yourself as you walked to your destination. 

Room 555 

How fitting, you thought. Your knuckles rasped against the door several times.

"Come in." A voice sounded through the door.

You peeked your head around the door before taking a step in the room, not being able to locate the owner of the voice. You gasped after taking the appearance of the room. The room had rose petals haphazardly strewn across the floor. Candles flickered on the dresser, a bubble bath was run in the bathroom, and to top it off, a too cheap bottle of champagne on ice. 

There was clearly an effort made, which made your heart swoon, hoping to put a real face to the man you've been speaking to for the past few months, you said out into the empty room.

"Keigo, I like what you've done with the place. You can come out now," you giggled.

"I'm glad you got the flowers," a raspy voice responded.

.......Huh?

Your joy instantly crushed, having heard Keigo's voice multiple times in the interviews you've seen, it sounded nothing like that. Unless he'd suddenly started chain-smoking within the past few months. A loud alarm started going off in your head. It was definitely time to go.

You twirled on your heels and reached for the doorknob, only to be stopped by a hand gripping your upper arm.

"Leaving so soon? The bathwater is still warm…" The mystery voice informed.

"Oh… I think I have the wrong room, so sorry about that." You squeaked, attempting to reach the door again only to be dragged into a bony chest. 

Your chin was tilted, forcing you to meet eyes with "Keigo." Who was actually a porcelain-skinned tower of a man with shaggy white hair that had an oddly familiar look to him? 

"Let me go! You're not Keigo!" You screamed, hoping to alert any other guests on the floor.

"Fucking took you long enough. I thought you were smarter than those other bitches on campus. Tomura balked, struggling to keep you still in his grasp.

Campus. That's where you recognized the face and voice of your captor, you were both in the same Comp Sci class, and you'd often caught him staring as you worked, chalking it up to you having something on your face or in your teeth. The realization caused tears to spurt from your eyes.

"Poor baby, didn't mommy and daddy teach you to not speak to strangers on the internet?"

"I-I thought y-you were K-Keigo," you gasped, struggling to control your sobs. 

"Well, I'm not. Get over it." Tomura slurred, placing sloppy kisses over your collar bone, slowly backing you towards the bed. 

You couldn't bring yourself to move or fight anymore, body stiff with fear. Your sobs increase in volume after feeling your legs make contact with the edge of the bed. You didn't know this man from a can of paint, and here he is about to assault you. 

"Stop crying before I leak those sexy little videos you shared with "Keigo." Imagine if everyone in the class knew how much of an easy slut you are?" Tomura hissed, shoving you unto the stiff mattress, springs squeaking as you bounced. 

You cradled your mouth, struggling to stifle your sobs. Why hadn't you recognized the signs sooner? You spent so much time looking at the situation through rose-colored lenses that you had utterly neglected your safety. But it wasn't the time to feign sympathy for yourself. You needed to take action, and soon—the shaggy haired stranger dragging your motionless body towards the end of the headboard. 

"Wait!" You gasped, hoping that you could possibly reason with your captor.

"What's your name? 

This was your final chance to escape. You suddenly kicked forward, aiming for his face, failing miserably as it was blocked. Both legs were then shoved into a mating press, granting Tomura the space to press himself even closer to you.

A groan left Tomura's mouth, frotting against your clothed mound, smothering your neck with sloppy saliva drenched kisses. You cowered at the feeling, curling away from his advances. The dry humping continued until a final groan of desperation was released. He was too grown for this shit and didn't feel like going home with stained boxers when your sweet heat was right in front of him.

The red bodycon dress you decided on was shredded down the middle, leaving you in your lingerie set. You added that to the list of things you were already regretting, moving to cover yourself the best you could. Your efforts to preserve the crumb of modesty you had left were futile, both hands knocked out of the way.

"You don't have to hide princess, I think Christmas came early.” “You're wrapped so pretty, baby." He chuckled, moving to fondle your breasts. Taking the time to pinch and pull at both nipples, drawing small hesitant gasps. 

"I'll play with these more later. You don't know how long I've waited to play with that cute little pussy in person." You felt your panties tugged to the side, embarrassed with the amount of arousal accumulated below. The feeling was soon replaced with horror after feeling the tip of his cock dragged between your slit.

Tomura used the residual slick to grease his cock, bypassing the need to stretch you out. He pressed forward, forcing himself inside, pausing to catch his breath. Damn... it's been a long time. 

You yelped in pain, closing your eyes in hopes of blocking out the situation at hand. You felt him start to pick up his pace, causing small tinges of pain to course through your body. 

"Mmmm, open your eyes. I want you to watch me fuck you." He gasped, realizing you hadn't complied yet, he landed a firm slap on your cheek. "Not only are you dumb, but you're also deaf too… open. SMACK your. SMACK fucking. SMACK eyes." 

Your eyes shot open, brimming with tears, finding yourself face to face with your captor. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, dainty white lashes framing the lids, traces of dry patches on his face. He wasn't ugly. You'd honestly give him a chance if he asked you out like a decent human being.

His pace had gained traction, hips crashing against yours. You found yourself slowly succumbing to the pleasure, discreetly fucking yourself against him. You wanted to protest and resist against him, but with your inhibitions lowered, you found it hard to comply. Each thrust pulling you further into the abyss that was your impending orgasm. Your lust-filled thoughts being interrupted by the stranger's incoherent mumbling.

"Tomura."

"Huh?" you whimpered, not fully understanding what he said. 

"My name is Tomura."

"Okay and mine i-"

"Shut up and say my name." Tomura's thrusts were sporadic, signaling his impending climax. "Beg me to cum…... please." 

You barely registered the final demand, not recognizing the soft tone of his voice.

"T-tomura, p-please let me cum!" you begged, right on edge needing something, anything to push you over.

Two nimble, callused fingers drew delicate circles over your clit, forcing you to writhe and sob as your orgasm coursed through your body. The feeling that followed was one of warmth as Tomura came, slowing his thrusts until he collapsed, encasing you in his arms.

Your eyes fluttered shut with your post-orgasm haze lulling you to sleep until a wet, sticky substance trickled along your inner thigh... 

What the fuck....

You nearly launched yourself from the bed, fighting to separate yourself from your captor's arms.  

"What is wrong with you?"

"You didn't use a condom," you wailed, tears perched at the corner of your eyes. You didn't have the time for a child, you were doing great in classes, your parents would reject you, you'd be stuck playing house with some stranger and-

"Stop muttering. You're fucking up my nap. I'll buy a Plan B when I wake up." Tomura mumbled into the pillow, dragging you back into his chest.

You continued to fight his grasp, pausing after feeling a firm pinch to your side. Fighting was futile at this point, and you couldn't fully assess the situation until you had some decent sleep. 

Closing your eyes for a few seconds wouldn't hurt…right?

#bnha x reader #yandere bnha #bnha smut #shiggy x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura x reader #mha x reader #mha imagines #mha x y/n #tw: noncon #tw: manipulation #tw: slapping #tw: dumbification

[ac-ars]

I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

okay i know it’s been a long time, but i am lazy procrastinating trash and what can i do?? the good news is i passed math and i can continue my studies (what im doing rn and already regret that)

that’s all about this rant, it all is a mess yet i hope you like it and dont worry this story is gonna end soon (i’d say very soon but again, procrastinating ass) + proofread who?

all chapters before

“There’s this legend telling about beginning of the universe, when everything was created. It says that atoms were created and spread around entire universe missing those atoms they were created with. Since then these atoms are wandering aroung the universe looking for their close ones, hoping they will find one day and some of them are hidden in people. So it means people are unconsciously looking for someone in entire universe, hoping that their atoms find each other one day.”

“Is that all, or is there something more?”

“Now matter how far they are, they always find a way.”

Chapter 9 /or/ about conversations, chats and debates

Matteo feels like shit.

He has no idea what to do with his life and how to live it right now, because once Luna’s eyes lie on him, she frowns and turns around, leaving the place as soon as possible. He actually feels worse than shit; he feels like trash flowing through the space without destination in the very black cosmos, probably flying towards some big ass star who will burn him. Maybe that’s better; being burned by star is better than being constantly burned alive by angry look of Simón Alvarez, the first puppy boy on Earth, as he is protecting his best friend who got hurt by evil forces.

Balsano knows what he pulled and he knows why he did that, but he’s not sure how to take it all together. This was like ultimate dick move, the thing he pulled even without knowing he was pulling that. She overheard of course in the wrong moment and he still can’t believe this. And then he ran after her, fully knowing that she is going to throw some wild shit at him, but she was surprisingly not so out of control, even if he deserved it.

The only thing that Matteo has definitely not in his grasp is the fact that he got impossibly angry out of nowhere; just like this and as soon as Luna left he was at sad peace again.

Now he is just lying in his bed with Ámbar on his right side while Gastón is sitting by the desk keeping his feet on it. Matteo doesn’t even have power to tell him to put them into his ass, away from his desk.

He covers his eyes with his arm, completely done with life and himself, his friends are talking about some shit, but Italian isn’t listening at all. Ámbar is probably cursing at Gastón for not chilling him the night after the date, while Perida is trashing blonde for being an asshole. Nothing new and nothing Matteo would like to listen to.

He is almost asleep, but he can’t really focus on just sleeping because those two suckers started talking louder.

“Shut the fuck up for a second. I want to sleep,” he growls and Ámbar kicks his ankle.

“We are trying to figure out how to save your ugly ass from shit you pulled on everyone around,” she snorts back and Matteo pouts.

“My ass isn’t ugly.” Gastón giggles at this, hiding his face in his hands, trying to avoid Matteo’s look as Italian continues. “You have never found my ass ugly, Ámbar.”

“But your inside is ugly and it makes you ugly.”

“You are ugly then too.” Perida smiles and blonde shows him middle finger. “We all are ugly guys, but stop with that foreplay, because Matteo here fell for a girl and fucked it up in the most stupid way ever-” said Matteo wants to get up, but Ámbar slaps him in the chest and he stays chill, letting Gastón continue, “- while our dear blondie here made out with guitarist when you were on your date, if I recall correctly.”

Ámbar chokes almost falling from the bed, but Balsano pulls her back with her wrist. “You never mentioned that, little queen.” He pokes her on the ribs and she curses at Gastón. “What the hell, how do you even know that?”

Perida grins at her, lacing his fingers to look somehow like professional boss or some shit, but the fact his feet are still on Matteo’s desk ruin the picture. “I know you have his beanie in your locker. And I don’t need to tell you how do I know. Tell us more important thing, does he kiss better than Matteo?”

“No one kisses better than me, bro.” Mentioned Matteo snorts and turns to Ámbar, waiting for her to answer.

She just looks at him with uninterested eyes and bitter face. “I kiss better than you, idiot. Besides, this is ridiculous. Leave me alone.” Her lips turn into small pout as she crosses her arms.

“I can’t agree with that, Ámbar. But don’t worry, you are close second from what I can tell.”

Gastón grins and sends them a wink. Matteo giggles and blonde girl has to shake her head at those two morons. “Since we already know who kisses how well, we should focus on pulling Balsano away from title of worst-almost-boyfriend of the year.”

“Could you please stop asking, Simón? I am really tired of thinking about this. Not to mention you can ask Nina, she knows it all.” Luna sighs, playing with the pencil as they three are sitting in the kitchen of Benson mansion. Girls are doing — or trying to do their homework, but it fails big time when Alvarez boy keeps attempting to find out what happened with Matteo the other day.

“I need to hear it from you, maybe Nina will mess some facts?” he asks poking her cheek with another pencil and she lets her head fall to the notebook. “I doubt that. More likely I would mess something than Nina.”

He wants to say something but Luna jumps up before he manages to. “Those exercises are  more important that being sad.” She shakes her head violently, making her hair bounce around her face and tickling her nose.

“Luna, if you want to talk-” Nina starts softly, covering Luna’s hand with her fingers softly, yet Valente keeps denying stubbornly. “There is no need, please. I just need to focus on something else while you are reminding me about this all the time.” Brunette sighs, Simón nods and Luna sighs with relief.

She really needs some distraction. At least here; at home, where there is no Matteo Balsano, no messed soulmate drama and definitely no broken hearts. There is just smell of food her mom has been preparing for dinner today, warmth and love of her friends. At this point that’s all Luna needs and she is going to be happy. The faster she gets over asshole Italian the better, no matter how much pain it’s giving her. She can’t show outside that it hurts like bitch all the time, especially after her father kept growling around that he was gonna deal with this rude boy as soon as he sees him. Knowing Matteo they won’t see each other for long time so hopefully her father will forget about his revenge plans, because getting accused of damaging teenage boy, even if he hurt his little princess, would look really bad in his files.

This week has been a mess. Real, real mess, no matter how many days have passed, she still feels like in that very moment when she heard what he really feels. And despite the fact Luna was waiting for him to say anything, to text her or just smile after their date, now she regrets her curiosity, regrets that she told him about soulmates and somehow regrets feeling everything so hard that at the very end she is all broken, shattered and she can’t get enough of the glue to put herself together.

Not that she doesn’t manage daily life, because surprisingly she really does. In class she manages to focus, and if not, Nina nudges her from time to time, or pokes, and Luna is back, away from Matteo thoughts. The same on the rink; she’s working and helping people with skating what actually helps, well, until Matteo ends up on the rink as well, but it doesn’t happen often in last days. Seems like he is avoiding her and Luna doesn’t mind that at all, no matter how much her heart screams for him longing for his touch and smile.

Only her parents seem to not accept the fact she needs to get over him. Her mother keeps sending her small sad looks, while her dad is all about his questions and reminding her to not think about the boy, what doesn’t really help, but whatever really at this point.

It’s not that Luna regrets Matteo himself. It was actually fun and she remembers it all well, happy and as positive, good time they spent together. They just finished not in the way she expected it to finish.

Yes, she has expectations. Pretty high, if you ask, but who wouldn’t after time of good friendship, not to mention that his attitude on the date was like proof that he likes her too, that he wants it to be something else; not really friendship and Luna doesn’t regret giving him the chance. She has some cute memories after him and even if she can’t look at him currently, it was nice to have him for her own just for little time and spend with him few pleasing moments she can repeat and repeat in her head before sleep, ignoring the way her brain tells her to stop.

Nina nudges her in the ribs and she jumps looking around. “What?” Just after this she notices her father leaning his hands against the table and watching her with worry in his eyes. “Are you okay? I hope you aren’t thinking of that rude boy again.” He throws as a joke and Luna smiles softly, shaking her head. Miguel moves bouncing curl of her hair behind her ear as corners of his mouth curl up slightly.  

“Of course not, dad, I was trying to solve math problem. Do you want to help me?” Luna feels half bad for pulling this on her dad, but she needs him to stop asking about Matteo, no matter how well he intends. She can’t have everyone asking about him.

“Do I look like someone who would want to do math?” Miguel laughs tapping tip of her nose gently and making Luna giggle, before he leaves her with Nina and Simón.

“You know what,” Alvarez starts while brushing his chin with his fingers, looking somehow thrice as smart as he is, “I know what to do to make you happy.”

Luna sighs and scrunches her nose in cute way. “What are you gonna do then?” she asks, but he just grins and winks at her. “That’s a secret, my friend.”

Nina snorts.

Matteo sighs, mixing his smoothie with the straw, totally tired after another sleepless night, classes at Blake and he doesn’t even feel like skating recently. He is waiting for Gastón to come here, but the asshole is late for like fifteen minutes and Matteo starts to feel impatient and annoyed.

He feels someone patting on his shoulder, so he turns around, yet as soon as he notices Simón puppy Alvarez watching him with those weird eyes, Matteo wants to get up, leave and not come back. Ever.

“I don’t have time for conversations,” he just murmurs under his breath, but guitarist apparently manages to hear that. Damn him.

“Well, no one here tells you to talk to me. You are going to listen.” Simón pouts in very Luna way, and it makes Matteo’s heart skip a beat lowkey, because he misses Luna’s pouts and her smiles and, shit, everything of her.

“What am I supposed to listen? If you want to punch me or some shit, just do it and leave me alone.”

Alvarez snorts at him, shaking his head and crossing his arms. “I’m sure it’s not necessary, because you already look like someone punched you. And Luna wouldn’t really appreciate this way of support from me, so we will leave punching for someone else, okay?” He sits in front of Balsano. “I think you have a problem, Matteo.”

Italian frowns, totally surprised, because one, he doesn’t look that bad, two, he still thinks Luna wouldn’t mind her friend punching him and three, what problem? That’s what he asks.

“I have a problem? Maybe you care to explain me, since I am too dense today apparently.”

Simón chuckles with small nod, his beanie moves weirdly and Matteo is sure it’s going to fall from his head, but it doesn’t. “I haven’t met someone so bad at showing any emotions. Maybe except Ámbar, but she’s hardcore case.”

Matteo snorts at the mention of Ámbar, fully knowing that this guy made out with her few days ago, and it somehow makes him forget about the first part of the sentence, yet he goes back to it after a moment and feels offended as fuck. “I am not bad. What is the point of this conversation even?”

Mexican guy sighs dramatically, playing with his pick necklace. “Not that I’m trying to hate on you, because I am a nice person, but you need to chill your ass with this whole questioning everything. Especially when it comes to feel something.”

This is ridiculous, the day came, guitarist is giving him advice in love life, or feelings, whatever. He is doing that and Matteo suddenly feels super flat, like water spreading around the table before falling from it with small drops, because deep down, in this small tiny hidden part, he knows that Simón is right; he knows Luna better than Balsano does at this point and he knows how to handle her.

“I want to clear things out, because from what I know, they aren’t really clear. At one moment you throw some shit that you have no idea what you feel, but later you keep sending Luna longing stares and she, fortunately, doesn’t see most of them. I do though, and I can’t really catch what you want, Matteo. If you feel, or feel that you feel something to her, just fix this shit, if you don’t, just leave her alone, okay?”

Matteo looks at him surprised. He managed to say it all with calm, yet sure tone. There was no threat actually, no curses and no hate words. That’s not what Italian would expect after this all, because Ámbar trashed him as fuck, Gastón wasn’t commenting anything while Simón Alvarez out of all people was chill and explained calmly what he expects from him before completely casually walking to his best friend, pulling her towards the stage along with guitar and playing some probably new song. Luna is grinning and singing from time to time, and she looks happy.

Matteo wants her to be happy.

“So you say that Matteo regrets that?” Luna asks him with skeptical face and Gastón can’t really blame her, because he wouldn’t believe that either if he weren’t in the middle or this war zone. When it comes to Balsano you can really call his problems war zone.

“Yes. I am his best friend so I know everything firsthand.” He smiles and nudges her as they are walking towards her class in Blake, after he very politely offered walking her there. “Besides, you can not believe him, but why wouldn’t you believe me?”

Luna giggles shaking her head and leaning it softly towards his shoulder (he offered her his arm before, that’s how much of a gentleman he is). “Gastón, you are super cute, and a great friend, but if Matteo felt bad he would’ve come to me and talk.”

He laughs a little, pulling his arm from her grasp and wrapping it around her shoulders. “Luna, my dear Luna, the stargirl to Matteo’s starboy, do you really think he would just come and talk?”

Brunette frowns at him softly, but doesn’t move away from him. “I mean that’s actually the only thing to do if he feels bad. That’s what normal people do. And Matteo is big boy, he doesn’t need to send me his best friend so I will consider running back to him.” She pouts a little and Gastón panics.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she seems almost, almost annoyed and this is a bad way to solve things. If Matteo knew that he went to talk to Luna, he would rip his head away and then make out of it popcorn bowl for Ámbar. No exaggerating of course here, Perida isn’t any guy to be dramatic, but he knows Balsano enough.

“Luna, listen.” Gastón stops her in one place, no matter that they are in the middle of the hallway; he made sure Ámbar took Matteo the other way, so he never finds out about the conversation. His hands rest on Luna’s shoulders and she frowns at him in really cute way. “My idiot best friend has no idea that I am talking to you.”

She looks at him weirdly, but then there is this tiny blink of disappointment in her eyes. “Oh, I get it. So why are you even trying if he doesn’t seem to be wanting to be even friends with me?”

“Fuck,” Gastón mumbles, shaking his head, because he has no fucking idea how to handle Luna. Apparently she gets what he wants to tell in wrong way, in the way he doesn’t want her to see. He just wants her to understand that Matteo is stupid shit, who doesn’t know what he wants and ruins it because he is scared of ruining it, what actually doesn’t make sense, but he comes from Italy so Gastón guesses this is some family/Italian thing.

“I’m sorry.” He starts again. “Let’s stay by damn, cursing while talking to lady is rude.” Valente giggles and he sighs with relief once or twice, being super dramatic. He likes this tiny girl and he knows that she is perfect for Matteo, like not this cheesy, sappy perfect, but the perfect, if you know what he means of course. “It’s just because he is sad. I don’t want him to be sad.” Gastón pouts, brushing his fingers through his hair and Luna smiles softly.

“I know you don’t want him to. I don’t want him to be sad either, because I care about him no matter how rude he was, but if he wants to do anything with me he should just be a big guy and talk to me.”

Perida sighs loudly while Luna is smiling at him without any break. This is super weird honestly; he had no idea that talking to her would be so difficult.

The thing is that she is right. Matteo should come to her instead of playing the victim and barely talking to anyone. Well, maybe not playing a victim thing, but acting like it; he keeps complaining and he’s not able to sleep, eating only when someone tells him to. Not to mention those longing stares Balsano keeps sending towards Luna as if she was the one to kick him in the face, or something.

Gastón lets out the air slowly. “You’re right, but I just wanted you to know that he didn’t really mean this all.”

She frowns. “He didn’t?”

He shakes his head. “No. I mean yes, he did, but not in the way you think.”

Valente crosses her arms and keeps frowning. “Then explain it to me.”

“It’s just…” he hesitates, not wanting to sell Matteo like this, he’s gonna be mad as fuck, but on the other side Gastón wants to do it, because maybe it will help at the very end.

Welp, you only live once, don’t you?

And your idiot best friend does as well.

“He is scared.” Perida spills and Luna just keeps blinking at him with surprise. “Scared of what?”

“Scared that he will screw up.”

Luna snorts a little, covering her mouth with her hand. “Well, I would say that he’s able to see the future.”

Even Gastón giggles at this, though after a second he is back to being serious. “Listen, he’s never really had a girlfriend like this. He had been hooking up around or something and then you happened and he had no idea how to handle this.”

Luna stares at him with parted lips. “Handle what?”

“That he likes you.” Gastón mumbles with soft voice and, sadly, as soon as brunette opens her mouth to say something, the bell rings. Both of them growl and Perida can just smile and leave after kissing top of her head.

Before their class Matteo asks him where he was, but he just says that nowhere, ignoring curious stares from Ámbar.

His hands are shaking, because he is going to do something what could (possibly) fuck him up in every way until the very end of the world. And as dramatic as it sounds, this is true truth and Matteo Balsano can’t recall being so stressed ever before. He fixes his shirt again, rolling up his sleeves neatly and takes few deep breaths before knocking the door.

At first, it seems that he knocked too quietly, he feels almost relieved about that, and he is about to turn around and leave when the door opens. Matteo was sure that Miguel Valente will not be glad of him visiting, but well, he’s already here, right?

“Good afternoon,” Matteo mumbles, anxious as hell, and hoping that he won’t get kicked out.

“Luna’s not here yet.” Luna’s father just answers and wants to close the door, but Italian can’t really let him do this. “I’m sorry, I’m not here for Luna. Not yet.”

Miguel frowns at him very, very much. Matteo wants to go home. “So why are you here if not for Luna?”

Balsano softly clears his throat. “I came here to talk… about something important, I believe.”

Luna’s dad opens his mouth but Monica pushes him aside and smiles a little seeing Matteo, who suddenly feels better and safer when she seems to be positive about his visit.

“Matteo.” Her smile grows. He has no idea why; he did hurt her daughter and said many ugly things, yet she is actually warm to him. “Miguel, I hope you weren’t holding this boy here for long.” She turns to her husband before looking at Matteo again. “Come on in, I will make some tea.”

It’s actually weird to be sitting by the kitchen counter in Benson mansion where he’s never really been before. Ámbar has never been fond of sitting in the kitchen so he’s never pushed, but now it feels normal and natural; it’s lowkey Luna’s place and her parents work here mostly, and he can see that it’s not this fancy cooking place like at his or Gastón’s place. Here it’s warm, there’s always nice smell around and right now he is sitting over some tea, the scent seems great so Matteo truly believes it is going to be tasty as soon as it cools down a little.

Monica throws Miguel out of the room when he keeps staring angrily at Matteo, though it’s not like he minds. Miguel’s curses are nothing compared to those coming from Ámbar. Luna’s mom smiles at him, as if she knows that he has a problem and he has this impression that one warm, soft look from her will solve all bad things on the world. His mother never really tried to solve his problems, but in this very moment Italian knows that it’s mostly his fault after being always so closed from his parents.

He is gonna work on it when he fixes this.

“So, Matteo,” Monica starts, leaning against the counter and playing with her mug. “I heard that you came here to talk. Is it maybe Luna connected?” She asks and he chuckles a little, because this woman actually is ready to try to help him with his problems and he can’t believe this at all; does he even deserves this?

“Well, yes.” He mumbles. “Me and Luna, we had a fight recently.”

She nods at him taking slow sip of her tea and sighs. “I know, she told me.” Matteo closes his eyes, but she continues. “And she told me why.”

Balsano chokes a little, just a tiny bit. For a second he feels like Monica is going to spill her tea on his head and another moment he realizes that he should spend less time with Ámbar Smith and her killer ideas.

“I would lie if I said that I am surprised.” He just says with small shrug, staring at tea in his cup and sighs.

“If you are here, I believe that something changed since that day.”

Matteo moves his eyes to her after an impulse. “Actually yes. I need to apologize.” When he says it out loud it feels more real, he is more sure of it and it feels actually so nice. It’s fresh feeling and new, and Monica smiles at him even more before giving him a nod. “So if you want to say sorry, shouldn’t you be talking to Luna?” She laughs at him a little and he can’t help but laugh with her.

“Yes, yes. There is this thing following me all the time, though.” Matteo tries his tea and feels immediately warmer. “I mean, I know Luna told me that it doesn’t have to… That it’s not… That’s it shouldn’t…” He keeps stuttering and Monica takes the plate with cookies from another counter, places it by his cup and sits next to him.

“I know what you mean, it’s fine.” She nods. “Luna wasn’t really into telling me anything, especially next to her dad who knows like nothing about this, but eventually she told me what happened.”

Matteo almost jumps on his chair. “I know, and it was stupid, I know that and I came here without thinking before, but you are the source of the story Luna knows and-” she interrupts him. “And you want to know how it works that you like her. Am I right?”

He hesitates, because it would be admitting for the first time out loud that he likes Luna.

It’s definitely too late for this, so not giving it a second thought, Matteo nods softly and Monica smiles.

“Drink your tea. It will be cold soon.” She points at his mug and there is no way he is gonna not do something Monica tells him to. “I’m sure that you googled what soulmate means.” She waits for him to confirm, and when he hums, she continues. “And I’m sure you know that it’s really written there ‘a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner’ is it something like that’?”

“Yes.” Matteo answers and she smiles, frowning a little. “Then why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. I just need to hear it when I’m in my senses, I guess.”

Monica sighs, taking a sip of her tea. “I never really believed in this story. Who would? It was just pretty thing to tell my baby daughter when she didn’t want to sleep. It’s not like I made it, because I heard it many times before and it was such great story that I couldn’t not tell it Luna.”

Matteo says nothing, not wanting to interrupt, but she pauses to take a cookie. “There’s not much to read about it in the internet, probably because American scientist never cared about this, but who would trust American scientists?” She laughs and he can only chuckle with her.

“Anyway, it starts at the very beginning of the world, of the universe, like everyone says it was the Big Bang, everything got created. After the initial expansion, the universe cooled sufficiently to allow the formation of subatomic particles, and later simple atoms. Those subatomic particles built up into atoms, then made the stars and galaxies. But some of them just got thrown into the space and somehow ended up in very different parts of universe. That’s probably completely not science connected, though the atoms “decided” to find each other no matter where the others are.” Monica looks at him, as if she’s checking if he still listens to her. Ha, like he’d ever be able to not listen to her. That would be super rude.

“Well,” Matteo starts when she doesn’t continue. “This sounds very smart and very complicated. Like why did they even ended up in some people? It’s not like people have been there since the very beginning.”

Luna’s mom nods and smiles again. So much smiling at him today. “Yes, but I never said that atoms went to people immediately. They could be part of some star before, now dead star and came with the rest of the matter said star spread around after collapse. You know, Matteo, that nothing here is so permanent or stable.”

Italian hums, looking at his cup and sighs. “So it could be also this that they happened to be at one place by accident?”

She thinks it over and frowns a little, but nods eventually. “Yes, but also some can be from old binary star. They can be from anywhere and it’s really no rule, no guessing for that. The point is that in this whole story there is no word about the relationship between two people. There’s mentioned only that they are bound to meet, even if they can never do this of course, but the character of their relation will always be whatever they decide.” Monica pauses for a second to take small breath in and for a cookie. “Do you understand that, Matteo? Do you know what to do with it now?”

He smiles at her widely and nods. “Yeah. I think I know.”

#lutteo #soy luna #luna valente #matteo balsano #i never knew #my writing