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night-raven-tattler · 25 days

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What's your ideal type?

Summary: What would be the best traits for their potential partner to have?

A/N: I didn't want to leave Lilia out of the series even though I only write platonic relationships with him, so I wrote about his ideal friend instead. Enjoy!

Characters: Diasomnia dorm (Malleus, Sebek, Silver) x GN!Reader (separate, romantic), Lilia and GN!Reader (platonic)

Other parts of the series: Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde

Warnings: none

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Malleus' ideal type would be...

Someone who playfully teases him. Malleus can be quite a tease himself, and enjoys seeing people squirm under his playful eyes. While he knows how it feels to be at the receiving end of that treatment thanks to Lilia, he'd still get surprised if you reciprocate.

Someone who can see beauty in the desolate. Being the goth king-to-be that he is, Malleus' tastes tend to gravitate towards darker aesthetics: abandoned buldings, antiques, vintage paintings and furniture, gargoyles... He can't help but be slightly upset when people mistake a grotesque for a gargoyle, but he's amazed when you correct them before he gets to.

Someone who can enjoy grand gestures. It's possible it is a byproduct of him being a prince, but Malleus and words such as "subtle" or "small" are from different worlds. He just wants to shower you with the best offerings to show his attention. Maybe his desire to put valuables with you is because dragons tend to hoard treasure?

Someone who isn't afraid to call him out on things. Malleus is many things: powerful, wise, capable and kind. But he's also stubborn, prideful and has a tendency to do things first and ask later. When he unintentionally crosses your boundaries, tell him. When he plans to do something before asking, tell him. Don't be his yes man. He'll respect you immensely for calling him out. After all, you ability to treat him like any other student is what drew him to you in the first place.

『••✎••』

Lilia's ideal friend would be...

Someone who appreciates cooking. Lilia is a creative person, and it really shows in his cooking (for better or for worse). While eating his food is... a bit of a challenge, your interest would not go unnoticed. Who knows, maybe enough interest would have him allow you join him for a cooking session! A perfect opportunity to stop him from being too creative.

Someone who can take his jokes and pranks. What can I say, Lilia loves having a good laugh, even if sometimes comes at the expense of pulling a prank or two. While harmless, his pranks can be annoying. Take them on as a challenge, and you'll never find your slippers again, or you will have all of your mugs laid on your kitchen floor face down once every 17 mornings. Depends on you if you find that fun or not.

Someone who gets along with Silver and Malleus. His sons are his pride and joy, no matter what. While Lilia knows that sometimes people just don't fit well together, he can recognise effort when he sees it. If you want that spot at the dinner table, you have to get along with his family first.

Someone who can still love the world, despite any hardships. Lilia has lived on this earth for long and faced heartbreak after heartbreak, uncertainty and grief. His healing is not over, and that's okay. He'll appreciate you talking to him about how the would doesn't suck that badly after all.

『••✎••』

Sebek's ideal type would be...

Someone who respects Malleus and Lilia. If you want any chance of even getting along with Sebek, you have to pay your respects to two of the people he respects the most. While you don't have to kiss the ground they walk on, a few nods of approval during Sebek's endless speeches about their glory and superiority would not go unnoticed.

Someone who likes praising him. I'm not saying Sebek is easily swayed by praise, but he'd be joyous to hear how well he's doing. He's a dedicated guard with perfect scores at school and a will strong enough to move mountains. While the praise directed at him would be something he's not really accustomed to, he'd stop trying to redirect the praise towards Malleus soon enough.

Someone who challenges him. Sebek is not the most agreeable person, but he's always open to learning and improving himself. He's just very, very stubborn. You don't have to dismantle his whole ideology about humans or anything like that. Instead, just give him the puzzle pieces: he'll enjoy the challenge to figure out your thought process while trying to prove you wrong. Whatever the outcome is, Sebek will always come out of the other side with a newfound respect for you.

Someone who can teach him how to be gentle. Yes, Sebek is loud, extra and arrogant. But, above all, he wants to do right by his loved ones. If you can teach him how to come from a place of compassion and genuine goodwill instead of having him default on his aggresive demeanor, he'd be quite amazed with you. His job was never to be kind and gentle, but he can still be those things while protecting the people around him. He'll treasure everything you'll teach him, and he'll hold you in his heart close to his idols.

『••✎••』

Silver's ideal type would be...

Someone who respects Malleus and Lilia. While Silver is not the type to sing their praises during every moment of the day, he respects his liege and his father more than anything. He can't have someone disrespect two of the most important people in his life. It's the bare minimum for him if you want him to pay you any mind.

Someone who is earnest. Silver is a kind and sweet boy. His help and advice are always genuine. His dedication to protect the people he loves come from a desire to pay back the goodwill of the people in his life. He might not notice when people don't have the most genuine intentions, but he can tell when you are a nice person, especially to the people around him. His wariness will quickly dwindle, and he will warm up to you in no time.

Someone who knows when to nudge him awake and when to let him sleep. Silver dislikes how often he falls asleep during the day, and has a lot of guilt from not being to stay awake. He really takes note of how people react when he falls asleep near them or when they wake him up. Even though he still feels very helpless against his curse, if you still treat him just the same then he'd feel the littlest bit less guilty about it.

Someone who shows him he's enough. Above all else, Silver believes in paying back the kindness he has received from the world. He works very hard, harder than needed. Sometimes he needs to be sat down and told that he is doing enough. He is enough. It will not change his hard working nature overnight, but acknowledging his efforts sure makes him feel like he's going in the right direction.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #sebek zigvolt #silver vanrouge #malleus draconia x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #silver x reader

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cherryc1nnam0n · 6 months

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I'm bored and I don't wanna write something so have this rant about the (fictional) men I love and why

Hello people

This is Cherry speaking and today I am presenting top men that I love and why are (most of them) them all serial killers who wear masks and are dead? We'll find out here

1. Brahms Heelshire

I mean just look at him, skrunkily wall boi who has never showered, the man with a mask that makes him look so fuckable and submissive and he fucking whines?! Ngh, so hot

I need to lick those man titties with all my might and ride him until his legs give out

But unlucky for me he's dead as fuck so yikes, he's not dead in my mind or in my blog

2. Billy Loomis

Crazy Ghostface boi who can rearrange my guts any time he wants and breed me all he wants mhm mhm

I fucking love Billy because look at him, he's a psychopath but he looks so hot while being it

Who wouldn't love this man??

But again, another one dead, killed by Sydney (fuck you Sydney), but not before leaving his offspring but we won't talk about that now

3. Eddie Munson

The exception to being a killer because he was framed it's my beautiful boi Eddie <3

I love this boi with all my heart and he can touch it with his dick all he wants <3

I fell in love with him when I saw him on Stranger Things 4 and I haven't since then <3

But my boi was eaten alive by a swarm of feral bats and bleed to death in Dustin's arms but he's still alive in my mind, and Tumblr's mind <3

4. Mark Hoffman

My crush from Saw since I watched the movies when I was 6

I have always loved older men for some reason so yeah (daddy issues)

He's not a good apprentice from John because he kills people and doesn't give them the chance of survival but I still love him <3

But as all of them, he was tied up on the original room from Saw and left to die there

It's presumed he's dead because people only survive 3 days without food so he's probably dead as fuck like all of them bois in this list

Still, he's still alive for me so he can breed me all he wants <3

5. Ethan Landry

Another Ghostface crazy boi who died a virgin (not in my mind if you know what I mean)

He was killed in an awful way but he's still hot and submissive and breedable and oh my gosh he's so hot

I am literally obsessed with him and you'll see my latest likes are all Ethan so yeah, fuck me (Ethan) I guess

6. Billy Hargrove

My asshole of a boyfriend who was too weak in spirit to fight off Vecna and died thanks to it

I love him <3

He's my favorite boi that can hit me and fuck me all he wants until I fry and he won't even stop by then so mmmmmhmmm

But again, ded as fuck lol

7. Hannibal Lecter

Cannibal daddy can eat me alive whenever he wants, I have excess skin so he can have all he wants mmmm

He's so pretty and sophisticated and so mmmm

I love him and he can eat me all he wants and breed me too

(I don't remember what happened to him if he died of not but yeah)

8. C!Technoblade

My pig boi who is a genocidal and an anarchist will always live rent free on my mind

(Along with his creator Alex, RIP Techno, we miss you a lot)

But on the DSMP I headcanon he had a lovely wife and two kids who loved him a lot and now they're alone and sad </3

But he's alive in my own AU so it's fine

I love my pig boi

9. Jim Hopper

I mean look at him, he screams DADDY in all his forms

I love hunks for some reason and he's one of them

He can have me whenever he wants

Only exception to being dead lol

Man titties

But anyways. That's everyone I can name off the top of my head so if you until here have a nice day and I love you <3

#brahms heelshire smut #brahms heelshire #billy loomis #billy loomis smut #eddie munson smut #eddie munson #mark hoffman smut #mark hoffman #ethan landry smut #ethan landry #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove #hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter smut #technoblade smut #technoblade #jim hopper smut #jim hopper

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vendettasfanfictioning · 4 months

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The Nightmare of Zoldyck (Musical) was gay as fuck and here's why you should watch it.

Bingeing The Nightmare of Zoldyck reminds me just. Just how fucking gay it was??????? And this was made almost 11 years ago???? And it's just so insane and surreal to me?????? They could've added any sort of twist to the Zoldyck Arc and yet the twist they chose was 🌈🏳️‍🌈??? In all fairness, they did also add Hisoka so maybe that's just how it is lmao

Now you may think I'm joking or being delusional—but no I swear THEY MADE IT GAY AS FUCK OK. IT'S ACTUALLY AMAZING

First, we have the obvious; the adorable, blossoming friendship between Gon and Killua. The very reason this arc exists is because Gon refused to let Illumi's teachings corrupt Killua's self-esteem. It's so, so, so touching in the manga and both anime adaptations, but in the musical they just... The songs just made it come off more romantic?

I'm biased, I love the friends-to-lovers development these two undergo, but I swear, take the shipping goggles off and it's still has a subtle if not in-your-face obvious, romantic tone.

Why? First, the presentation. The Zoldycks are introduced by Milluki through song. They each get lines which are backed up by epic music and stage effects, come together for the iconic chant of, "Zoldyck," before ultimately gathering around and sitting down.

Kalluto, Kikyo, Illumi, Silva, Milluki, and Zeno have a family meeting while Killua's hung above them, representing where he is in the dungeon, and right off the bat, you get hit with "forbidden romance" vibes.

The family talks about what Killua did, what he said, while Killua sings about how he doesn't want to inherit his dad's position. HE ALSO SINGS THIS LINE WHICH IS SO?????

And he sings a little after Illumi visits him in the dungeon and, y'know, messes with his head even more. He writes a letter of sorts to Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio, telling them they should go to protect them from Illumi and he just sounds SO heartbroken...

Then we skip forward, this is after the gang has won Gotou's approval. Gon writes a letter, and it's so fucking sweet because it's basically him saying look. Look at Zebro, Gotou, Canary, these people who care for you, who love you. You're not alone, we understand your feelings, ok? AND THIS PANEL IN PARTICULAR IS SO RAPUNZEL SO ROMEO AND JULIET IDK

And that super serious discussion between Killua and Silva? He gushes about Gon a lot, and they really took some liberties with Silva because this man keeps grinning like he knows his son's got a crush.

And of course Gon's not gonna back down. Canary asks how their Young Master Killua was like, outside Kukuroo Mountain, and... just look.

I'm not gonna include every damn time they sing together but when they finally meet? They're so. so happy. I can't.

And there's this scene after the party (yes they have a goodbye party of sorts for Killua) where Killua thanks Gon for coming to get him and Gon says ofc we're friends and they play around and they're so happy together...

Look at them they ded

There's also this moment when it all goes to shit and THIS SONG SLAPS Gon metaphorically slaps Killua out of it too but just. Just listen to it, it made me cry

And since this happens right after the Hunter's Exam, Kurapika and Leorio are still a bit wary of Killua, so while Gon's ecstatic and unwavering about being Killua's friend, the other two sort of bond in the sidelines as well?

Take this shot of leopika dancing. It's short and sweet and they're so stupid but they're at least getting along!!!

I forgot they bickered a lot, especially during the Hunter's Exam, but now look at them. This isn't the gayest part though, because Leorio finds out there's a hot spring in the Zoldyck mansion... and... yeah... I'll let y'all watch this scene for yourselves but uh, stuff happens and I fucking screamed is all

LIKE LOOK THESE MFS END UP STAR GAZING TOO COME ON

They also share a bit in the end where Gon sniffs Zebro??? And he says that Zebro has a similar scent to Leorio??? And leopika turn to each other and go:

LIKE HELLO?? HELLOOOOO???

And of course, I saved the murder husbands for last. While the gang have their fun, we would sometimes cut to black and these two would be shown, scheming in the dark and talking about their own plans.

They be dropping some bomb ass dialogues tho

AND APPARENTLY ILLUMI GAVE HISOKA A TOUR LMAO

Mind you, there is no fucking explanation as to why Hisoka's there. His narrative purpose is ofc to sow chaos and stir trouble, look out for Gon or whatever, but why is he here specifically in the Zoldyck Estate is never stated. BUT he does refer to it as a vacation. Twice.

Like sure this is just him being a little shit but COME ON. If Illumi really didn't want him there, he'd have chased Hisoka out, swatting him with a broom while at it. But no. They scheme in the dark and Illumi shows him around and Hisoka says it's a vacation. Wonder who could've invited him.......

This interaction also happens. And I will only be thinking about this for the foreseeable future.

HISOKA CHASES AFTER HIM OFFSCREEN IT'S KINDA CUTE AND ALSO RUINING MY LIFE????

Insane that the killugon heart-to-heart, leopika hot spring moment, and hisoillu bickering happen back to back to back. They're all paired off. The way they switch the audience's perspective actually really satisfying. Each couple gets their alone time and it's like seeing the different stages of a relationship. INSANE and HELLA GAY

And, of course, the heart of the cards—easily one of the most iconic lines Hisoka's said, which is, coincidentally, the point of conflict of the entire musical

While Killua's fighting for his life, here's the magician who's basically getting everything he's ever wanted served on a silver platter. This mf is so happy he got to fight Illumi's family lmaoooo

AND HE SAYS IT TWICE!!!!

ONLY FOR MAMA ZOLDYCK TO MIC DROP WITH THIS IN THE END

I just. I love this musical so much. It used to be my comfort watch when I first got into HxH, and while I joke about how fucking gay it turned out to feel (I'm being serious about it though) I do think it's a great production.

The actors did amazing, the dance/fight sequences and the dialogue were so well done, and it just added so much depth to the Zoldycks, y'know? I do wish Alluka was here, but we all know why she's not... That would've been so fun though.

Anyways, if I've convinced you, then you can watch it here!!!

youtube

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protemporescitor · 2 months

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"But she ded tho" (a.k.a. the dumbest argument against Clerith) - A rant

To expand on my previous post, in which I posited the crazy, far-fetched theory that in a fantasy setting mayhap death is not the relationship brick wall that it would be in a more grounded, realistic one*, I just want to bring up a few points to further buttress this off-the-wall notion.

"Cloud can't be with Aerith. She's dead!"

We've all heard it a thousand times. It is the argument most commonly levelled against Clerith. It is also the worst (and laziest) one.

It's often delivered in a declamatory and glib fashion, as though it were some sort of obvious conversation ender. Q.E.D. End of debate. The ultimate gotcha. "Checkmate, Clerith fans!" the haters think to themselves, chortling and patting themselves on their backs for this profound insight. (Insert tasteless and juvenile comments about Aerith being "shish kebab-ed" by Sephiroth as desired.)

And all I can think is "That's it? That's your best argument? That's some weak tea, man."

Despite its myriad flaws, this idea continues to radiate throughout the fandom a good quarter century after the original title's release, as though it had never once been challenged. It is a feeble and untenable position, a house built on sand, and one that deserves to be thoroughly demolished. With Rebirth on the horizon, and all the shipping wars nonsense rising from the grave once more as a result, it is high time, if you'll forgive the expression, that we laid this cliché to rest once and for all.

(*Note: Even in a more "realistic" setting lacking any kind of fictional afterlife, this would still be a gross oversimplification of the story's themes of loss, regret, and yearning, as well as entirely ignoring the idea of love transcending death, but we'll set those concerns aside for the time being.)

Lastly, before we begin: This is not an anti-Zerith / CloTi screed. Those pairings both have an undeniable canonical basis. My aim here is simply to demonstrate that the notion that Cloud and Aerith are forever separated by death is rendered invalid by virtue of the type of setting that their story takes place in. (Something that, frankly, one would reasonably assume to be perfectly obvious. Alas, such is not the case. And so I find myself yet again pointing out the glaringly obvious.)

Now, without further ado, let's begin:

Part 1. Before (the Compilation) Crisis

In the beginning, there was the year 1997, and Squaresoft had just released their latest title. And lo, it was good. We spent days and weeks following our favorite polygon people around their embattled little globe. We fought, laughed, cried, and struggled up until the Meteor Crisis reached its crescendo, and the credits rolled. Gosh, what an ending! But what did it all mean? How did things REALLY turn out? Did we get a happy ending at all?

According to some, Cloud lived happily ever after with his childhood sweetheart, Tifa. According to others, he continued to roam the earth in search of his Promised Land to be reunited with his tragic lost love, Aerith. Yuffie swiped everyone's materia (again). Cid finally went to the moon. Red XIII opened a haberdashery in Costa del Sol, or something. No-one really knows for sure.

And so, the fandom began to spread to every corner of the internet in search of answers. Thus began the age of dissension. Opinions clashed across fanzines, blogs, and fanfic country alike. Wild fan theories abounded pertaining to special codes, methods, and blood rituals capable of bringing back our erstwhile flower girl. The fan-made media bubble surrounding the game turned into a lawless land of misinformation and vicious disagreement. None were spared.

A brief digression on why said rumours persisted for as long as they did (CAUTION: Massive spoilers for Chrono Trigger).

One side proposed a simple solution. A way to cut the proverbial Gordian Knot of our fandom. It was quite obvious, really. Just staring everyone in the face. The flower girl was dead, and that was that. Thus, there was only one possible conclusion to our narrative. Cloud's feelings on the matter were, of course, irrelevant. With Aerith out of the picture, the only logical choice left to him was to settle down with Tifa, and that was that. Never mind the themes of doomed, tragic love and the possibility, strongly hinted at throughout the game and outright confirmed during its ending, of existence after death.

Overall, direct evidence for said afterlife was scant, but not entirely absent from the story. As an example, at one point during her childhood, Aerith speaks to Elmyra, trying to comfort her, saying that the spirit of her husband wanted to come visit her, confirming that an afterlife presence did indeed exist. But for some, this simply wasn't evidence enough. And so the war raged on. Which brings us to…

Part 2. Advent Children: The smoking gun

Remember back when a certain portion of the fan base insisted that Gaia erased all the humans at the end of the story, on the flimsy basis that we don't see any during the game's brief post-credit scene? Well, that little theory was neatly undone by subsequent releases in the Compilation, showing regular ol' humans still roaming around Gaia in all their everyday human-ness. Hence, it is rarely brought up these days. Would that the pernicious notion of "but she ded tho" could follow in its footsteps, given that the same film roundly contradicts it in every way possible.

For starters, the film inexplicably bring two characters, Rufus and Tseng, hitherto assumed to be dead, back to life, probably in an effort by Square to shoehorn as many recognizable members of the cast into their animated feature as they could. But that's not all. Next we have three characters that everyone agreed were deader than doornails ALSO making appearances, first in flashbacks, and then directly influencing the world of the living. Zack speaks to and encourages Cloud during his struggle. Aerith reaches out to him (quite literally) from beyond the grave and assists him in defeating Bahamut. And of course Sephiroth pops back into existence just in time for his contractually-obligated boss fight near the end of the film. All three demonstrate quite clearly and definitively that death is not the impenetrable barrier to continuing interactions between the living and the dead in the world of Final Fantasy VII, as a certain segment of the fan base would have everyone believe it is.

To be blunt, I don't know what level of dense you'd have to be to keep up this so-called "argument" in light of this information. Advent Children reiterates what most of us already knew, that our story takes place in a fantasy setting* with a confirmed afterlife existence.

(*You'd think that the name of the series would clue people in.)

The notion that death represents, within the context of said setting, the ultimate end was already softly contradicted by the original game's narrative, and then (because that was apparently too subtle for some people) flat-out annihilated by the existence and events of Advent Children. It should have long since ended this nonsense. But somehow, it didn't. These revelations, obvious though they are, remain ignored for some reason. And so, the cycle of willful ignorance continues.

But we're not done yet. We now move on to more tangential, but still relevant arguments against this line of "reasoning".

Part 3. Stop Hitting Yourself: Why "but she ded tho" is insulting to everyone

And I do mean everyone. Let's examine this, shall we?

It's insulting to Cloud.

To suggest that he loses interest in Aerith the moment she sinks beneath the waters, or that he is obligated to move on simply because she is no longer among the living, with no mourning period, no time to work through his guilt and grief, is to portray him as shallow and uncaring, something that goes against virtually all the characterization that he's been given throughout the story. The line of thinking apparently goes "Well, she's gone. That sucks. She was cute, too. Better move on to the next available piece of meat."

Sounds pretty gross when you write the quiet part out loud, doesn't it?

It's insulting to Aerith.

"Didn't even toss the b@#h a Phoenix Down, just dumped'er in the water LAWL"

I'm sure you've all come across comments like that at some point, usually originating from some errant redditor or blogger. Thinking themselves fine fellows and enlightened, above-it-all gadflies, they provide us at length with this and other prime specimens of 14 year-old internet edgelord "humour" that carries about as much edge as a perfect sphere. Remarks like these serve little purpose beyond confirming my suspicion that our fandom is indeed plagued with illiterates who can't tell the difference between the terms "revive" and "resurrect", and insist on conflating game mechanics with storytelling. And you wonder why some people are confounded by words like "flammable" and "inflammable".

(All right, I'll put the salt down. For now.)

"The party's designated white mage dies, oh no, that's so sad, boo-hoo, life goes on," I hear you say.

But boiling Aerith's role down to one of merely that of a temporary party member who kicks the bucket halfway through the story, never to be heard from again, both cheapens her purpose within the larger narrative and denies the clear effect that she continues to exert, directly and indirectly, on it and the other characters after her passing.

Though Aerith may have departed the world of the living, the story makes it abundantly clear that her influence on it has not ended. There are hints here and there that she still tries to assist her friends from the afterlife. As an example, when the party rediscovers Cloud in Mideel after assuming that he might be lost for good, a villager sums it up best with the following remark: "That boy must have one hell of a guardian angel."

It's only mentioned as a vague hint in the original story, but it is clear that some beneficent force is acting on Cloud and Tifa's behalf, aiding them in their survival and uniting them in the Lifestream in order to help Cloud recover his memories. Later supplemental material confirms that to have been Aerith's doing. If that's not enough to convince you, though, the original game's ending leaves little room for ambiguity as to Aerith's continuing influence. When Holy sputters and fails, she coaxes the Lifestream itself to intervene, burning away the calamitous meteorite, helping her friends put an end to the planetary crisis long after her own demise. I suppose the lesson here for silver-haired godhead wannabe villains is this: Strike her down, and she shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

So the idea that Aerith's participation in the story immediately comes grinding to a halt upon her death is both puerile and easily demonstrated to be false. But even if that were the case, downplaying her lingering influence on Cloud and the other characters in this manner would still be ignoring the creators' intent. Whether one interprets Cloud and Aerith's relationship as romantic or merely platonic, it is clear that her death, the loss of one of his closest allies, is something that wounds him deeply, and scars him forever. Two years on, he still pines for her company and desires her forgiveness for his perceived failures. She clearly occupies a special place in his heart, and her memory and legacy live on within him, spurring him on as he wanders the planet, searching for some way to meet her again, defying the impossible. (Which, as we all know, isn't going to happen. This is, after all, Final Gritty Reality we're talking about here.)

Ah, but all of this is a moot point, you say? Even if he did wish to be with her, preferring the company of the last Cetra over that of his childhood friend… well, too bad. That's no longer an option. We can spout all of this verbiage about "soul pain" this and "star-crossed lovers" that, but at the end of the day, Aerith is still dead, and that's that. At least, that's what ardent CloTi fans will insist, no matter what. So, what is Tifa to Cloud, then, by their own logic?

Which brings us to perhaps our most salient, and most overlooked point, at least as far as CloTi shippers are concerned. If all that wasn't enough for you, you may want to consider that it's deeply insulting to Tifa, as well. Grievously so, in fact. Quite possibly more so than any other character in this whole equation. And the reason why should be plain as day if you stop to think about it for a fraction of a second.

Here's the thing… if you can't articulate why you think Cloud would prefer to be with Tifa in spite of Aerith being alive, then you are essentially declaring her the "winner" by default on no other merits than the fact that she's still sucking down air. Stating "but she ded bro" means relegating Tifa to the role of a consolation prize. I don't think I could ever hurl such a staggering insult towards her as her biggest fans keep doing, without even realizing they're doing it.

Ask yourselves, is that really what you want for your supposed favourite character? To frame her as being doomed to eternally play second fiddle to her fallen friend? Cloud's "plan B"? The "side piece"? Someone who only stands a chance if her rival in love is literally six feet under? I'm sure she'd be thrilled by the high regard in which her own fans seem to hold her. (Hey, you said it, not me. It's not my fault if you don't take the time to actually consider the ramifications of what rolls off your keyboard. But by all means, keep insulting your own favorite character just to put down a ship you don't like.)

In closing, if we unearth the subtext and reframe it to highlight what people are, in essence, saying, it's this: "It's a good thing that she-who-shall-not-be-named bit the dust, because otherwise our beloved Best Girl Tifa (tm) wouldn't stand a chance."

It's a simple enough question: Why do you think that Cloud and Tifa belong together? What, in your mind, makes them a good fit for each other?

"Well, the competish is dead." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Not exactly a ringing endorsement for your best girl, now is it?

Part 4. "Heads, I Win. Tails, You Lose": A brief word on hypocrisy

In fandom, it's often the loudest and most obnoxious voices who tend to drown out the more reasonable ones, those of fans who are just minding their own business and grooving on the thing that they like. Which, unfortunately, renders this next part a necessary component of the greater argument that I'm trying to make. Multishippers and sane, reasonable CloTi and Zerith fans may consider themselves exempted from the following harangue.

The rest of y'all, buckle up.

The too-oft repeated refrain of "but she ded tho" entails a twofold hypocrisy. The first part is:

Case of Tifa: Fan hypocrisy regarding death.

Strident anti-Clerith fans, with their usual level of maturity, will often bring up Aerith's demise in a gleeful, mocking tone that can best be summed up as "ding dong, the witch is dead!" And if the shoe were on the other foot? If their Best Girl Tifa (tm) were the one pushing up daisies instead of Miz Gainsborough? Would they be quite so cavalier in their attitudes?

Who wants to bet that these fans wouldn't be making this "argument" so loudly if it was their ship that was in question? Consider this scenario: Suppose that the remake trilogy does the unthinkable and has Tifa die in Aerith's place. What then? Would they accept that "but she ded tho" is, at best, a double-edged sword, one that applies equally to their own favourite ship were their fortunes to be reversed?

Something tells me that's not the case.

But if you think that's hypocritical, you ain't seen nothing yet. This first point pales in comparison to…

The Zerith Exemption: Fan hypocrisy regarding the afterlife.

You know what my favourite thing about this whole debacle is? When people inform me that because they are separated by death, Cloud and Aerith have no hope of ever being together again. They will then unironically pivot to shipping Zack and Aerith, two characters who are together in the MOTHERFUCKING AFTERLIFE.

It's wild. How do you even compress that much cognitive dissonance into one skull? We're talking about mind-melting, Olympic medal-worthy levels of mental gymnastics here.

Now, before someone accuses me of being morose, I'm not suggesting that Cloud hop off the nearest cliff just to be with his beloved (Aerith would not approve of him throwing his life away, for one), just that when he reaches the end of his natural life (which may not be too long, given the cells eating away at his body), he can finally be reunited with her in the afterlife.

Many ardent CloTi shippers see themselves as bound by law to uphold Zerith as a shield against the dreaded Clerith plague. But to proclaim, implicitly or explicitly, that the afterlife encompasses one but not the other is not an idea that can be taken seriously. It remains an utterly bizarre blind spot, one that beggars belief.

On a related note, there is the infamous misconception that is…

Part 5. The ZaCloud Fallacy

While this is not directly related to my main point, I nonetheless find myself compelled to address this issue. There is a long-standing confusion that bedevils our fandom, one that has its roots in the Shipping Wars (tm). I am, of course, referring to the ZaCloud Fallacy.

We owe this particular misapprehension to Crisis Core, a prequel/gaiden game that was released ten years after the original FFVII. Already, its existence can mess up the timeline, so to speak, as, strangely, people tend to treat it as a sequel rather than a prequel, and as though it were adding new and vital building blocks to the world of FFVII instead of merely distorting the original story while retreading it with a far less interesting cast of characters. It also retcons major elements of the original story that it shouldn't have (such as the events taking place in Nibelheim five years prior to the main narrative), lazily steals Clerith scenes only to rehash them with Zack and Aerith, and forces players to endure, at length, crimes against literature, courtesy of Genesis.

It's an odd prequel, to say the least, given how heavily it relies on the original story for context. Sequentially, it may take place before FFVII, but it can only be fully appreciated with the original in mind; it cannot be treated as a stand-alone story. The worst thing about Crisis Core existing is that playing it first can outright ruin people's perception of the original narrative by spoiling several major plot elements and even lessening them in the process. Crisis Core's writers are especially guilty of cheapening dramatic moments like Zack's last stand by transforming it from a quiet, tragic, harrowing scene about sacrifice to an utterly over-the-top and emotionally overwrought trainwreck. It all merely serves to add to the confusion, especially for gamers who started with this title instead of the original.

But if that were not enough, Crisis Core's reckless meddling with the story combined with the acrimonious and all-consuming nature of the shipping wars has resulted in one of the most nonsensical misconceptions in the entire fandom. During Crisis Core's ending, Zack implores Cloud to carry on his legacy, thus giving rise to the erroneous assumption that Cloud's behaviour in disc 1 is merely that of him "being Zack". Clerith-hating fans, in particular, pounced on this idea as a way to put a safe distance between him and Aerith, characterizing their interactions, whether platonic or romantic, as merely a case of Cloud utilizing Zack's memories and personality around her (Never mind that Zack and Cloud's personalities are as different as night and day).

It is a fundamental and willful misreading of the story, a gross oversimplification of a more complex and granular truth in service of a fan-originated meta-narrative, one that has been assembled in order to reach the conclusion that Cloud and Aerith's relationship is null and void, and that therefore the romance between him and Tifa remains unchallenged. (Never mind that the story is intended as more than just some playground tug-of-war romance). To maintain this lie is to do violence to the story by destroying Cloud's character arc and reducing him to a virtual non-entity until the very end of the game.

Having already been rebuked in regards to this pervasive delusion, certain fans have tried to hedge their bets by suggesting a second, more advanced version of this idea. ZaCloud Fallacy 2.0, if you will, which states that Cloud is only in Zack Mode (tm) when he's around Aerith. I don't even know what to say about that sort of nonsense. To paraphrase Charles Babbage, I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such an assertion.

I'd go into this in more detail, but YouTube creator LinkOnTheBrink has already covered this topic extensively in their superlative video essay "How Shipping Can Ruin a Narrative".

It may seem like I'm trashing Zack or Zerith here, but I'm really not. That was never my intent. So let me be clear about this: I like Zack. I just hate Crisis Core and what it's done to this fandom. If you prefer CloTi and Zerith to everything else, I don't much mind. Ultimately, this isn't about shipping wars nonsense, but protecting the narrative from such nonsense.

And that leads us to…

Part 6. I Against I: Where the fandom went wrong

We all know that the infamous FFVII Shipping Wars (tm) are as stupid as they are inescapable. Anyone who's spent any time at all within this fandom has inevitably run afoul of them and their detritus at some point, whether they've chosen to participate in them or abstain from the whole debacle. But there's a reason why this acrimonious dispute has raged on for as long as it has. Much like Blade Runner fans would argue until they were blue in the face about whether or not Deckard was a replicant, fans of this story have been squabbling about CloTi versus Clerith for ages for similar reasons. (Zerith got roped in as a "political wedge", I would argue, as much as a pairing in its own right.)

It's more than just a war over shipping, it's a war over canonization, over character motivation and psychology. Of how we ultimately interpret the story and its characters. Given the vagueness of the story's ending, one can't help but wonder and speculate as to how everyone ended up afterwards. (Advent Children and Dirge of Cerberus may have offered some answers, but they still largely sidestep these questions in a noncommittal, to-be-continued manner.)

The problem is that, for many fans, it isn't possible to simply say "It's my preference" and be done with the matter. Unlike most rarepairs and bananas pairings like Cait x Jenova, CloTi and Clerith remain hotly contested because they go beyond mere shipping, or even aesthetic preference, or which characters one most identifies with; they lie at the core of how we perceive the story and its inhabitants. In that sense, I don't consider it to be an entirely frivolous debate, just an unsolvable one.

So, what's the answer?

There's this long-standing piece of received wisdom about JRPGs vs. WRPGs, where the latter involves more freedom at the expense of focused storytelling, and vice versa. This idea might hold true to some extent, but it is not some iron law that must be obeyed without question. For a game like FFVII, choices that radically affect the narrative structure would be considered an aberration and not the norm. And yet, it might represent the only way out of this quagmire that doesn't involve throwing half the fandom under the bus in the process.

For me, Mass Effect and similar titles (e.g., Quest for Glory) have already presented an obvious solution: Let the players choose. (There is already some precedent in the form of the Gold Saucer scene, although it ultimately doesn't change the outcome of the story all that much.) It may not be a perfect solution, but I'd argue that it's far better than leaving one side out in the cold. At least this way, everyone gets something.

"Ah, but this is not feasible," I hear you respond. "Not for an Eastern-style RPG, at least. Only one of these pairings can be correct, and one must, above all, respect the creator's vision."

Yeah, look where that got us.

Part 7. As You Like It: Ship whatever you please (just stop this nonsense)

I realize that this little essay of mine has been digressive, rudimentary, rambling, extemporaneous, and scattershot. So let me try to reach some kind of meaningful conclusion here.

Much of this anti-Clerith rhetoric we've seen over the years seems to stem from a place of insecurity, whether it's murmuring "but she ded tho", claiming that Cloud was only ever Zack in disc 1, inventing a fictional sex scene underneath the Highwind from whole cloth, and so on… The thing is, there is no need for it. Clerith and CloTi both exist canonically. Even the game manual says as much, describing Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith's relationship as a love triangle. In other words, the love triangle is what's canon, and the rest is by and large up for interpretation. (Zerith also canonically exists, and we've known this since the OG.)

The true reason why this whole disagreement has gone on for eternity, I suspect, has less to do with any debate over canonicity alone than it does the sheer enmity and pettiness that it has continued to spark for so long. It has metastasized over the years, going from being a mere squabble over which pair is canon to an exercise in holding the other side in contempt. That endless cycle of disrespect and reprisals is undoubtedly where it all went wrong in the first place. (If I had a nickel for every time someone commented "but she ded tho" or "wHy iS zAcK bLoNd iN tHiS pIc?" when someone posts a piece of Clerith fan art, I'd have a pretty nice collection of coins by now.)

Obviously, we should all try to just click off when we encounter content that we dislike, but it's not always easy, especially when something we harbour a strong aversion to is so deeply enmeshed within something that we do enjoy. And so, our fight-or-flight instinct kicks in. Before you ask, yes, I'm as guilty of that as anyone else.

Still, I firmly believe that the occasional olive branch can go a long way. So let me simply say that I have the utmost respect for Tifa and Zack. They are worthy characters in their own right. So create and share all the CloTi/Zerith fan works your little hearts desire. Hire a fleet of skywriters to declare Zerith your favourite couple. Throw a giant CloTi parade through the middle of Times Square. We don't mind. Honestly.

As stated above, whether it's CloTi, Clerith, or Zerith, you can stop fretting over which one is canon; they all are. The other three permutations (Zakkura, Zifa, AerTi) don't get much in the way of canon acknowledgement, but they probably should at this point.

In the end, this is about saving the narrative from the shipping wars, as much as anything else. To say that you prefer CloTi or something else to Clerith is fine. To assert that Clerith doesn't exist in any form, however, is where I begin to take exception.

Ultimately, I say ship what you like. All I ask is that you retire this sort of narrative-wasting nonsense. It's time we threw it into the garbage can of gaming history where it belongs. As for questions of motives, character interpretation, canonization, and so forth… if we cannot reach an accord, then let us at least try for a more amicable disagreement.

As for my fellow Clerith supporters, the next time you see the withered old canard that is "but she ded tho" being bandied about in the wild, feel free to laugh and treat it with the derision and contempt that it so richly deserves.

#final fantasy vii #ffvii #ffvii rebirth #final fantasy vii rebirth #final fantasy 7 remake #clerith #cloud x aerith #rant #final gritty reality #but she ded tho #spoilers

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nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos · 5 months

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Too many people today, my social batteries are DED.

All I wanna do is write and I have dozed off at the table in front of my laptop like three times. I woke up last time upon all but faceplanting into my keyboard. The resulting text was fuchcuudhwe32 which I think may be a new Lovecraftian unknowable horror. I'm half convinced the man literally smacked his forehead against his typewriter any time he needed to name something.

Anyway happy simpsgiving or something. Love you all ❤️🫶

#opla #mihawk #shanks #sanji #steven john ward #peter gadiot #taz skylar

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askyuuandco · 8 months

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Twst Incorrect Quotes 11

Yuu: what's more important weed or us?

Crewel: *hooked on Weed* Weed! *leaves*

Grim: man he didn't even think about it ;-;

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Yuu: why are you on the floor? and your breathing hard. Did you tear apart the dorm trying to find me? :D

Grim: Nooooo....>_> *sits up*

Yuu: You were worried about me. :D

Grim: I didn't care. You do whatever. >:( *lays down on the floor*

Yuu: You love me. :)

Grim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! D:<

Yuu: *pulls out something from her pocket* I got you something ^u^

Grim: *sits up* I Don't want anything >:L *swats it away*

Yuu: that was a microwaveable tuna pouch

Grim: *scream in C8 and goes to retrieve it*

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Crowley: now remember children. Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos.

Ace: do you mean figuratively speaking or? >.>

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruggie: *wakes up at 7:03* I got time. *goes back to sleep*

----6 hours later----

Ruggie: *wakes up* 12:32 WHAT THE F-

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Malleus: *stands up to hello to somebody up*

Leona: *sits in his chair* move your feet lose you seats >:D

Classroom: *going crazy*

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Floyd: Let's go I'm ready! >:D

Crowely: Nice too meet you ready I'm dad

People in roast battle: *cheering*

Floyd: nooooo.... ;-;

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yuu: *cuts her finger with paper* ouchie ;-;

----2 minutes later----

Yuu: *goes out to eat with friends*

Riddle: here have some hand sanitizer :D

Yuu: sure

Riddle: *gives her some*

Yuu: *the sanitizer goes on the cut* :D *screeches in C10* AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH ;A;

Riddle: *panic* D:>

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Malleus during the Halloween event part 1: SOMEBODY WAS RUDE TO YOU???!!! I'll kill them. Who did it?! I Want Names! I'll. Eat. Them! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Yuu: *wearing something bad* Ok! How do I look? Be honest UvU'

Ruggie: ummm There's no critic more honest than kids <:D

Cheka: *sips on his juice then look at Yuu* Bad :<

Yuu: *ded* ooooofffffff ;m;

#twst incorrect quotes #twisted wonderland

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ciananan · 3 months

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Meet my Mortal Kombat 1 OC ✨ Ratri ✨ (ruh · tree)

𓆩⚝𓆪 Fun Facts about Ratri 𓆩⚝𓆪

Has trouble with her hearing, so Shang made a device built especially for her.

Her outer garb can expand and helps her float when she swings from one place to other.

She uses her selendang (green wrap) to make herself as a human-size sling shot, pulling and throwing herself. Her yellow garb helps her floats while she's in the air.

Facial expression is so important for her, regarding her hearing, so seeing Shang Tsung always smiling and his dramatic ways of talking made her feel safe and amused around him.

Talking about facial expression, she DESPISES Bi-han. He never put a single ounce of effort when he talks.

She used to judge an individual's personality based on their facial expression when they talk. Despite the fact that Shang Tsung is not a very good person, he was a number one on her good people list.

She's a very kindhearted gal who only goal is to make everyone around her happy.

Shang Tsung was using her at first, but after seeing her dedication and her potential, and after discovering her disability, he took her in and made her his own adoptive-daughter body guard.

Her outfit is inspired heavily by Javanese traditional attire.

Backstory and Relationship with other characters under the cut

𓆩⚝𓆪 Ratri's Backstory 𓆩⚝𓆪

How she joined Shang Tsung, basically the Island where Shang found the abandoned island with powerful magic used to be Ratri's village. The village got destroyed because of the sudden burst of the magic energy. It poisoned the village's main water source, the animals, the plants, basically the whole ecosystem got fucked.

But Ratri here somehow survived, being creative and adventurous, she managed to found another source of water far away but was too late when she returned back to her village to spread the good news (the people ded). She, the protector of the village, failed her task.

When Shang Tsung came to the village, Ratri confronted him asking what was his purpose coming to the island. When Shang said he wanted to research the magic, Ratri misheard it as he wanted so Save the Village. At the end of his research, Ratri was devastated that Shang didn't cure the village. She confronted him again but now Shang Tsung realized there was something wrong with her hearing. So he built a device to help her with her hearing.

Not long, Bi-han came to get Shang Tsung to help him with his experiments and fighting the Shirai Ryu. Ratri now being loyal to Shang Tsung as he literally brought her in, took care of her, and helped her, won't leave him and made an oath to keep him save and protect him from everything that would disturb his safety. So with that, she joined Shang Tsung to the Lin Kuei base in Earthrealm.

𓆩⚝𓆪 Relationship with Shang Tsung 𓆩⚝𓆪

She sees Shang Tsung as a kind man and a life safer. In her culture, yellow and green combo is a symbol of a person with good moral value and it was proven when she thought Shang was going to heal the island. Don't worry, she still sees him as a generous man when he made her a hearing device.

Calls him 'Atsung', she loves making nicknames and she feels it suits him.

Their relationship is like a father and daughter.

Believes everything Shang does as a good deed and for a greater good.

Loves to gossip together, especially about Bi-han and his former enemy, Liu Kang.

𓆩⚝𓆪 Relationship with Bi-han 𓆩⚝𓆪

Absolutely HATES him since he always so stoic.

Watches him 24/7 hence he's so close with Shang Tsung and she knows he has an interest for Shang.

Tries to be nice and kind to him because Shang Tsung told her so. Bi-han is their ally and they're staying at his place, she should show a little bit of hospitality.

When Bi-han and Shang Tsung finally got together, she was so happy for Shang he finally found the one but also devastated because it means she has to protect Bi-han since he officially a part of Shang Tsung.

𓆩⚝𓆪

If you have anything to ask me about her, I'm always open! ✨

#mortal kombat 1 #mk1 #mk oc #mortal kombat oc #bishang #coldsoul #shang tsung #bi han #mk oc ratri #mk fanart #mortal kombat fanart

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enderwoah · 1 year

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DOUBLE LIFE/HOMESTUCK HANDLES & TYPING QUIRKS

ello ello ello! happy belated homestuck 4/13 AND hermitcraft birthday! it's been a very long time since i have touched this au, but it occasionally starts rotating around in my brain so i decided, "hey! it's not like the homestuck presence in this fandom can get any more dead! why don't i make some headway on that?"

this will be a comprehensive list of all fourteen double life members' chumhandles and typing quirks (where applicable; otherwise, i might just put down their general typing style). it'll go in rainbow order for the trolls, but there are only seven of them so some may be skipped! c'est la vie.

for people that don't know homestuck, a chumhandle is essentially an internet username used on the messaging system "pesterchum" (or, for the trolls, the messaging system "trollian"), consisting of two words that are usually unnecessarily rare and big. a typing quirk is something trolls all have to differentiate themselves from one another, both for expression purposes and also because they all have to use their blood colour as their online colour and it could get confusing. hope that helps, let's go!

TROLLS

grian (rust):

sign: true aires, sign of the excavator

no noticable typing quirk, but does use an overabundance of bird puns whenever he gets the chance. not because he thinks they're funny, but because they get on other people's nerves and gets their feathers in a twist.

procrastinatingBellbird [PB]

procrastinating: to delay or postpone action; put off doing something. is this not grian's entire existence? have you watched his hermitcraft videos? can the man go half an hour without getting distracted by something and putting what he should be working on off for later? like..oh, i don't know. the back of his base?

bellbird: the loudest bird in the world! you little attention-seeker, you.

ren (bronze):

sign: taurga, sign of the guardian

unnecessarily and often incorrectly uses the olde version of words, adds a lot of 'e's and 'th's and 'st's where therest shouldn'th be for ye olde effecte. is a hemoanon (someone that does not reveal their blood colour by typing in gray).

cynoidCacology [CC]

cynoid: dog-like; canine. speaks for itself.

cacology: bad choice of words or poor pronunciation. this is partially a jab at his 'incorrectly uses old words' bit and partially a slight reference to his constant innuendos being played off as simply a bad choice of words. someone probably lied to him and told him that this word meant royalty and was really old and cool.

tango (gold):

sign: gemiborn, sign of the uproarious

the first actual typing quirk, tango types in ALL CAPS, EXCEPtt FOR HIS tt'S ttO MAttCH THE PAttttERN OF HIS HORNS!

reinedAzidoazide [RA]

rein[ed]: keep under control; restrain. it'll make more sense with the second part.

azidoazide [azide]: the most explosive chemical compound ever created. so together, his entire chumhandle is just a big sign that yells 'i have thinly-controlled anger issues!,' lmao.

bdubs (olive):

sign: lenius, sign of the restless

SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS. TYPES VERY SPORADICALLY. CUTS OFF HIS. SENTENCES. CHANGES HIS 'I'S TO '1'S AND HIS 'S'S TO '2'S WHEN THEY'RE NEXT TO EACH OTHER. LIKE IN W12H. AND F12H. (to make a 12! like on a clock.)

nyctophobicBryophyte [NB]

nyctophob[ia]: extreme or irrational fear of the night or of darkness. he definitely has it! lol!

byrophyte: the informal group name for mosses, liverworts and hornworts. oh yeah, baby. moss time, baby. eats moss, prolly. and has a cool cloak!

scott (cerulean):

sign: scorza, sign of the strategist

he's both too cool for an elaborate typing quirk and too lazy to go out of his way to type in perfect capitalisation like he wants to. Middle ground, he capitalises all his 'M's and he types as forMally as possible without having to try. uses eMoticons as punctuation lot (:K and keysMashes rather often. (his sign, scorza, looks like a weird M, so he just ran with it. if the people he's talking to can't deduce that it's him, that's their problem, not his. his horns look like antlers and he felt like a K was the only letter that really encompassed the antlers vibe (((:K)

kenodoxicHart [KH]

kenodox[y]: an obsolete, rare word meaning the love, study, or desire of vain-glory. only someone truly vainglorious would flaunt their vainglory. and you know what? good for him.

hart: a male deer; a stag. sure, he could have just gone with stag, but 'hart' sounds like 'heart,' so it's just unequivocally better in every way. his lusus is a horrible combination of a hart and a spider.

cleo (purple):

sign: capripia, sign of the brusque

she really doesn't have a patterned quirk like some others might...she simply prefersssss to elongate her 's'es whenever it feelsssss...sssatisfying. never uses caps. alwaysss usesss precisssse punctuation. makes use of ellipsesss to enunsssiate her pointsss. will often change the 'c's to 's'es in sssertain wordsss because typing out a bunch of 'c's doesn't have the ssame effect. (her horns are painted to look like snakes, and thus!)

vafrousPhantomime [VP]

vafrous: cunning; sly. sounds about right, yeah.

phantomime is not an actual word! it is a combination of phantom (a ghost) and pantomime (a dramatic entertainment, originating in Roman mime, in which performers express meaning through gestures accompanied by music OR a theatrical entertainment, mainly for children, that involves music, topical jokes, and slapstick comedy and is based on a fairy tale or nursery story.) to explain this would be to explain a lot of cleo's backstory, which is not what this post is for; the simplest way to explain the phantom bit is "blame joe hills." the pantomime bit is just a very mild reference to The homestuck song, and also...she's a clown. not, like, super seriously, but she is a clown.

etho (fuchsia):

sign: pius, sign of the free

/? you won't catch him dead making fish puns. that's all he wrote. /? (they're like little fishing poles :D y'all really think etho is out here with the patience to constantly change the way he types? absolutely not.)

xericQuerist [XQ]

xeric: containing little moisture; very dry. again, this is not the place to delve deep into backstory shenanigans, but it's safe to say that despite being a fuchsiablood, etho does not feel very free underwater. also, he's a dry texter <3 good for him

querist: inquirer; someone who asks questions. he's questioning the SYSTEM and the PLANET he'll have to take over when he gets over and the CHANGES to the FLAWED HIERARCHY it holds so dear <- deranged. half of the reason he picked his name when he was like 12 was that having two super rare letters as his handle looked sicknasty.

HUMANS

(note to all my non-homestucks: humans have no use or care for the funny signs i've been putting for all of the trolls, but i'm going to put them here in case anyone wants to see what they Would be :)

scar (orange):

sign: aquasci, sign of the charitable (snrk)

all lowercase, little punctuation aside from EMPHASIS!!! sometimes the emphasis comes in the form of an *appropriate* amount of asterisks.

affluentAllay [AA] / affluentVex [AV]

affluent: having a great deal of money; wealthy. how else can you put it? the man is loaded!

allay: diminish or put at rest (fear, suspicion, or worry). an in-universe reference to actual minecraft allays.

vex: make (someone) feel annoyed, frustrated, or worried; cause distress to. affluentVex was his original handle before allays came out and he shelved this to being an evil alter ego that frequently appears. as this is homestuck and i do need to clarify, this evil alter ego is not real.

bigb (dark blue):

sign: sagittanius, sign of the nascent (wait i love that actually that's so good)

Average mobile user, doesn't turn off autocorrect, all of his sentences start off capital and everything looks fine until you notice the lack of punctuation or commas or anything the phone wouldn't be able to automatically pick up on

nitidNyctomania [NN]

nitid: bright with a steady but subdued shining. it's typically used to describe the moon.

nyctomania: the condition of being very happy and comfortable in the dark. half of the group was convinced that bigb was a troll because it always seems to be night whenever he talks to his friends. he literally just lives in a place where the sun doesn't rise. and you know what? he's happy.

impulse (yellow):

sign: gemcer, sign of the intimate (0_0)

uses lowercase letters, but proper punctuation! uses fullstops at the ends of statements, proper commas, question marks, and exclamation points! maybe even two for the extra emphasis!! often uses FULL CAPS to denote shouting (not that he does it often)!

sanguineVenule [SV]

sanguine: optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation OR blood-red. he's just an optimistic and happy guy! also a blood player!

venule: a very small vein, especially one collecting blood from the capillaries. he's trained in first aid for some reason? also a blood player!

pearl (gray):

sign: licen, sign of the worshipper ((santa pearla voice) more like sign of the worshipped amirite)

nothing tooooo special, she types like a normal person and elongates certain words for the emphasis!

pearlescentMoon [PM]

pearlescent: having a luster resembling that of mother-of-pearl.

for the record, she has been adequately clowned on for having what is basically her full name as her online handle, but she simply couldn't be bothered to put in all the effort of finding those stupid big words. maybe there was a point in her life when she was, like, eleven, where her handle was iridescentLuna [IL] or something, but those times are far, far behind her now.

martyn (lime):

sign: cano, sign of the translucent (wth is that even meant to mean)

types like its a conversation or real dialogue, so expect either very long messages or for him to send about seven messages just to form one complete thought. when speaking to ren, he will mirror the old-speak as well as possible (unless its a serious moment).

hearkeningCavalier [HC]

hearkening: listening. i think we can all guess.

cavalier: a knight. i also think we can all guess. also, it's a breed of dog! cheeky reference to his king, that is.

joel (forest green):

sign: leiborn, sign of the paradox (oh i love this)

when normal, he types like a normal person. makes more typos than your average man, but thats alright whereas WHEN HE GETS HYPE ABOUT SOMETHING HES PRFONE TO LONG BOUTS OF TPYING IN CAPS AND HE TYPES FAST AN FRURTYOUIS SO TEHTEERE AE TYPOS ABOUnD

dionysianFleer [DF]

dionysian: relating to the sensual, spontaneous, and emotional aspects of human nature. joel just gives vibes, really. i think he heard that dionysus was the god of madness and thought it was cool because he really does go crazy at the block game AYEEE

fleer: an impudent or jeering look or speech. he's a prick. moving on,

jimmy (light blue):

sign: taurmino, sign of the lonely (my man...)

uses caps for shouting *very* often because he is a shouty boy, and uses asterisks for emphasis. is very prone to using an overabundance of question marks because...funny?

juxtaPredestination [JP]

juxta-: a prefix meaning near; alongside.

predestination: the divine foreordaining or foreknowledge of all that will happen. jimmy is basically the resident jade harley. not in the sense that he knows what's actually going on, more in the sense of him getting thrown into Situations and then he goes "oh, i saw this in a dream once!" and then gets clorted by whatever it was that he saw. but he believes in fate and luck very heavily and sort of thinks of it as an endearing rival.

CONCLUSION:

so yeah, those are all the handles! i will do the extras (mumbo, lizzie, and skizz) eventually and put it in the post, so stay tuned for that (ill reblog this when its done <3)! hope you enjoyed the result of my days-long bout of insanity! reblogs appreciated, have a nice day/night!! <3

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