#drift away: k.m.g

[wongyuseokie]

Drift Away | k.m.g

Summary: You made the biggest mistake of your life, and now, Mingyu is trying his hardest to forget and forgive you, but how long till your infidelity rips you both apart? Besides, it’s not like you’d blame him. You hurt him. You did the one thing you promised never to do.

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕ smut |  ♥ completed works

Word Count: 9321 words

Pairings: Kim Mingyu x Female Reader

Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Fluff, Smut & Angst, Idol! AU, but like it’s not that important. It just sets the tone, I guess? Like why he stays in a dorm, etc.

Content Warnings: Cheating AU! slut shaming, blaming, crying, fighting. Soonyoung is kind of a dick, but it’s truly very warranted. Chan makes lame jokes, and it’s adorable. Cheol is the best human ever. Insecurities about wealth and fame gap between the reader and Gyu. Mingyu is honestly the bestest boy ever, and the reader makes a terrible choice, but let’s see.

Smut Warnings: Unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, pussy slapping (like once). Is Mingyu growling a warning? Creampie. I think that’s it.

Authors Note: This fic involves infidelity, I don’t condone it, but I’m aware it’s different for everyone, just know that this is a work of fiction, and you should never feel like you should accept anything, but the best for you 🥺 High key broke my own heart writing this.

Authors Note 2: Thank you so much to @spacequokka​ for beta'ing this angsty mess for me. I love you dearly for this! 💕 also, thank you so much to my fellow emotional mess baby @the-boy-meets-evil​ for helping me edit. Finally, a big thank you to my lovely SVTHub friends for reading this over thank you lovelies, @multi-kpop-fanfics​, @bitchlessdino​ and thank you @onlymingyus​ for the title 💕

Authors Note 3: Also if you’ve seen this fic before, it’s because it was something I’d published once for a different group, but I wanted to revisit and rework it 🩷

Cross Posted to AO3

© wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

“So, I thought we could go on a road trip, just you and I. I know things haven’t been great, but I thought this could help us reconnect,” you suggested to Mingyu during dinner, and you could see him roll his eyes at you.

“I’m trying to make an effort here,” you mumbled, making Mingyu glare at you.

“Because that’ll make everything you did okay?” Mingyu asked, and you looked down in shame.

“Gyu, it was a mistake,” you defended weakly, sliding your hand over to hold his, making him flinch and move his hand away from you.

“You fucked someone else. I asked you if I was enough, and I wasn’t, so you left to find someone else,” Mingyu snarled, and you sighed.

“You were always gone for months on end–” you started to say, and Mingyu glared at you.

“Do not give me that shit, don’t you fucking dare. Do you realise I could have done the same thing? I know it’s not ideal to have me as your boyfriend, but I could have cheated on you, but I didn’t because I love you,” Mingyu’s voice cracked at the word love.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised.

“‘Sorry’ won’t change any of it,” Mingyu muttered.

“Then why are you still here?” You asked. There was no anger in your voice, just genuine and pure confusion. “Why stay?”

“Because…” Mingyu started to say, pausing to wipe a tear off his face. 

“Because I still fucking love you, like a moron. I want to believe that we can move past this,” Mingyu admitted.

Your heart broke at the sight, and you got up from your seat, walked over to Mingyu and motioned to his lap, and Mingyu nodded slowly. You slid into his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’ll do anything. I promise I won’t hurt you again,” you promised, and Mingyu simply stared at you as you held his face in your hands.

“Y/N,” Mingyu stopped you as you moved to kiss him.

“I can’t, not yet, at least,” Mingyu admitted, and you nodded quickly, sliding off his lap.

“Look, I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ve lost my appetite.” Mingyu said, sliding out of his seat and heading upstairs. You felt tears run down your face, and you hated that you were the one crying when you did this.

You wiped your tears away, cleaned up the table, and headed to the bedroom, smiling softly when you noticed Mingyu sitting on the bed, running a towel through his freshly washed hair.

“Can I help you?” Mingyu asked, snapping you out of your daydream.

“Uh, I can take the couch,” you mumbled. “No. You can take the guest room, not the fucking couch. You don’t need to punish yourself. It won’t give me any comfort,” Mingyu spat, “and,” he added, voice softer. “I said we shouldn’t sleep separately because we will get comfortable like that, and then this will be over,” Mingyu added.

“I’m giving you space,” you mumbled. It made Mingyu sigh, drop the towel on the bed and walk over to you.

“You had space when I went on tour, and you fucked someone else, so no. I don’t think space is what we need,” Mingyu explained, and you looked down, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you said dumbly, knowing that you already had hurt him, which made  Mingyu glare at you.

“You broke me. There’s nothing else left to break. However, for some ridiculous reason, I still fucking love you, and I’m trying not to get mad because, despite the fact you slept with someone else, I still want you in my life,” Mingyu said, gritting his teeth.

You stayed still, unsure what to say, unable to look him in the eyes. Mingyu just huffed out in annoyance at your silence.  

“I’m going to bed. You do what you want. That’s what you seem to be good at anyway,” Mingyu scoffed as he moved away from you and moved to lie down on the bed and sleep.

You hopped into the shower once Mingyu started snoring softly, and you prayed that the running water would drown out your sobs. You had done the worst thing possible to the kindest person ever and had the nerve to cry.

You finished quickly and found Mingyu’s shirt hanging on the door and, out of habit, slipped it on once you dried yourself.

Once you exited the shower, you found your spot on the bed next to him, and out of habit again, Mingyu sleepily wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into his chest.

You heard his soft snores and allowed yourself to fall asleep in his embrace, and just for a minute, imagine that your relationship was fine. Even then, peace was elusive as your mind replayed the day you told Mingyu that you cheated and how broken and devastated he looked.

“Mingyu, sit,” you said, your voice low and emotionless. Mingyu looked concerned but did as you asked and sat down next to you.

“Wait, are you breaking up with me the day after I got back from tour? Because ouch,” Mingyu joked, and you shook your head.

“No, but you might.”

Mingyu’s smile vanished when he noticed the lack of humour in your voice.

“What happened? Are you pregnant? Because if so, we can deal with it,” Mingyu offered, and you simply shook your head, your heart aching at how kind and considerate he was.

“You weren’t here for so long. It was the night after we got into a fight, and it was so fucking stupid–”

Mingyu felt his world fall apart as the words left your mouth. “You didn’t because you said you love me,” Mingyu interrupted, refusing to believe a word, and you looked up at him, eyes red and puffy.

“Was it once?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“It was so fucking stupid,” you choked out, and Mingyu pressed his lips together.

“You know, of all the people in the world, I didn’t think you’d be the one to make me feel like this,” Mingyu choked out, his voice cracking. You tried to reach out and touch his hand, and Mingyu flinched.

“Don’t you fucking dare! When and where?” Mingyu yelled, and you shrank.

“Does it matter?” You asked, and Mingyu glared at you.

“It fucking matters,” he snapped. You nodded.

“His place. I left after it happened. I just felt so guilty,” you explained, your voice cracked with each word. Mingyu nodded.

“Well, you should. I’m glad you had the decency not to defile our bed,” Mingyu spat as he grabbed his bag, stood up, and took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I thought tonight I could make up for all the time I spend away from you. I would have held, touched, and kissed you all night. I would have spent all the time I had making it right, but you decided I wasn’t worth the wait,” Mingyu admitted with a broken sob, a sad smile gracing his handsome face.

“I was lonely,” you admitted weakly, needing to defend yourself. Mingyu scoffed at you.

“You don’t think I get lonely? I fucking do, but I didn’t once cheat because I love you and respect you. Sadly, you can’t say the same,” Mingyu stated.

“Mingyu, I love you. It was a mistake, a stupid fucking mistake. Please, just one more chance. I need you to know how sorry I am,” you begged, and Mingyu sighed.

“I need space from you. For now, I need to let my anger pass because right now, I can’t bear the sight of you,” Mingyu said, and you just stared at him.

Mingyu sighed deeply and pulled you into his arms as you sobbed into his chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” you cried, and Mingyu placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I will reach out. Just give me some time,” Mingyu promised, a tight smile on his handsome face. You nodded as you watched him walk out the door, and you fell to the ground sobbing.

“Y/N, wake up,” Mingyu said, shaking you awake.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Mingyu asked as he switched on the light and noticed your tear-stained face. You couldn’t bear to look at him, not when he was still concerned about your well-being, not when you had broken his heart.

“Mingyu, I’m so fucking sorry,” you wailed.

“I know.”

You whimpered as the sobs wouldn’t stop. “I just need time,” Mingyu said, and you nodded.  

“Why did you stay? Why didn’t you leave me?” you asked, and Mingyu shrugged.

“It takes a lot more effort to stay and make a relationship work than just to get up and leave. Unless that’s why you cheated? Did you want an out?” Mingyu explained, and you shook your head at his question.

“No. I just wanted to feel less lonely,” you explained weakly, and Mingyu sighed.

“I know I still love you. I just can’t trust you yet. I need time to heal,” Mingyu admitted.

“Mingyu?” You said softly, and Mingyu smiled softly back at you, wiped your tears away, and gently placed his lips on yours. It was the first time he had kissed you since the night you told him.

“Give me time,” Mingyu repeated, and you nodded as Mingyu turned off the light and laid back down, and you laid down next to him, feeling him pull you in again. Tighter against him this time, you felt yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

You woke up the following day, found Mingyu fast asleep, and smiled when you saw how handsome and calm he looked. You got out of bed and made your way into the shower and then to the kitchen.

“Morning,” you heard Mingyu as you felt his arms wrap around your waist, his lips gently meeting your neck, making you sigh as you melted against his touch.

“Shit, sorry,” Mingyu cursed, pulling away from you.

“Habit, I guess,” Mingyu mumbled, making you pout, not letting his actions affect you too much.

He had every right to be upset.

“So, um. What are you up to today?” you asked as you handed Mingyu a cup of tea.

“I think Seungcheol hyung is coming by to hand me a present of some sort,” Mingyu replied.

Mingyu bit his lip. He wanted to warn you and tell you that the boys deeply resented you for what you did. At the same time, he wanted to see you feel as horrible as he did, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Oh! I’ll get that,” you offered when you heard a knock on the front door, and Mingyu hesitated, hoping to stop you, but he nodded.

You couldn’t hide from the boys; they had been waiting to chew you out since the day they found out. However, Mingyu was glad it was Seungcheol who was headed over. He could trust his hyung to be diplomatic. He could not expect that of Soonyoung or Chan.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol greeted you. The eyes that once held fondness and love for you were now filled with rage and anger.

“Mingyu, good to see you,” Seungcheol said as he embraced him. You wanted to leave the room, unable to hide your shame.

“Y/N, we don’t usually ever get involved in one another’s business, especially not relationships. However, the way Mingyu cried after what you did, you need to understand that none of us are your biggest fans right now,” Seungcheol spoke, and you could only look at the floor, unable to make eye contact out of embarrassment.

Seungcheol wasn’t one to get involved in his members’ love lives, but he knew Mingyu would sugarcoat everything for you, and he wasn’t going to let you think that the rest of Mingyu’s members were okay with you.

“If Mingyu chooses to forgive you, that’s his right and choice. We’ll support him, but I can speak on behalf of the other members. None of us are keen on you right now,” Seungcheol continued to elaborate.

Seungcheol’s words broke your heart; out of all the members, you had grown very close to him and Soonyoung. You knew Soonyoung would probably kill you if he saw you, but Seungcheol could be reasonable.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, and Seungcheol scoffed.

“Not the one you need to apologise to,” Seungcheol bit back, and Mingyu knew he had to say something now.

God knows you apologised enough times.

“Hyung, um, what did you get me?” Mingyu asked in an attempt to dissipate the tension. Seungcheol smiled as he faced Mingyu.

“I got you a birthday present,” Seungcheol replied, and Mingyu laughed.

“Seven months in advance?” Mingyu asked.

Seungcheol shrugged. “I forget birthdays, except mine, so yeah, it’s an all-expense paid weekend at a fancy hotel, you know, wine, room service, the whole nine yards.” Seungcheol took a breath.

“I got it before all this happened. It was something for you two,” Seungcheol added, his words piercing your heart again.

“Hyung, we can still use it. If not, I can just use it myself, starfish on the bed,” Mingyu interjected, which made Seungcheol smile.

“Anyways. That’s all I came for. I’ll see you in the evening,” Seungcheol said, and Mingyu nodded and saw Seungcheol out.

“Hyung, she’s trying,” Mingyu pleaded once he was outside his front door as he tried to reason with Seungcheol, who simply sighed.

“I don’t doubt it, but she cheated on you,” Seungcheol said.

“She won’t do it again,” Mingyu asserted.

“I hope she doesn’t,” Seungcheol added, smiling sadly at Mingyu, who smiled back.

“Hyung, I love her, and if I can’t make this work, then I’ll leave, but right now, I want to have faith,” Mingyu spoke genuinely, meaning every word.

“Fair enough. Look, just try and keep her away from the studios and dorms for now. I can keep my cool, and so can the others, but Soonyoung will definitely tear her a new one,” Seungcheol warned.

“Yeah. I will. Thank you for the present again,” Mingyu thanked Seungcheol.

“Take care, Gyu.”

“Um, I have rehearsals. I won’t be home until eight. Do you think you’ll be okay?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah. I have a few meetings, and I have some work to do. Did you want to have dinner?” you asked, and Mingyu nodded slowly.

“I can give you a heads up if I am back in time?” Mingyu suggested, and you nodded, smiling sadly at him.

“They’ll come around, you know?” Mingyu added.

“It’s okay if they don’t. I mean, I wouldn’t blame them, ” you responded.

“They will. I mean. I’m trying,” Mingyu explained.

“Mingyu?”

“Yes?”

“How long will you keep trying for? I’m not asking you to dismiss the fact that you are already doing something that most people wouldn’t consider doing. I want to know because I don’t want to keep holding you down from finding the one.”

“You were the one at one point for me,” Mingyu started, and you felt your throat tighten with emotion.

“Maybe you still are. But to answer your question, I guess I will try until I no longer imagine you underneath another man. Last night when I kissed you, I felt like I was being burned. It hurts to physically love you right now, so if it comes to a point where one day I know I can’t look at you and not hate what you did, then yeah, we can move on,” Mingyu admitted.

“And if we can’t?” you asked, your voice small.

“Then we’re done,” Mingyu said, his tone calm and final.

“I need to go; I’ll message you if I am late,” Mingyu said, and you nodded at him.

“You’re late,” your boss remarked as you walked in, well, ran into the office.

“Sorry,” you said breathlessly. Your boss simply shrugged at you.

“Can I see you? In my office?” He asked before heading back to his office.

You nodded, followed your boss to his office, and waited for him to close the door behind you.

“Please don’t fire me. I can do better,” you begged, your voice cracking.

Your boss shook his head.

“Not here to fire you, but I’m worried,” he explained, and you nodded.

“Relationship problems?” Your boss suggested, and you nodded.

“Do you need to talk to anyone?” Your boss asked kindly, and you shook your head. “It’s my doing,” you explained, and your boss nodded, not pushing it any further.

“Well. I need you to manage this client. You have a natural knack for charming the shit out of fancy clients, so do it well, and we can secure a retainer, and you can secure a wonderful bonus,” your boss explained, and you smiled at him.

“Anything else?” you asked, and your boss shook his head, smiling.

“Thank you so much once again for the meeting. I know it’s late, but we appreciate the effort,” your clients thanked you at the end of the meeting, and you nodded, thanking your million-dollar clients.

You left once they left the conference room and fished out your phone.

“Fuck,” you cursed when you saw it was nine, and you had ten missed calls from Mingyu and several messages. You grabbed your things and tried to drive home as quickly and safely as possible.

“Mingyu, I’m so sorry. I got caught up in work,” you explained hurriedly the second you walked into the apartment, and Mingyu simply hummed.

“I got hungry. I ate without you,” Mingyu deadpanned.

“Y/N?” Mingyu asked, and you turned around to see Mingyu glaring at you.

“Yes?”  

“Where were you?” Mingyu asked as he walked closer to you.

“I was at work. I have a new client, and they wanted to go over so many things,” you explained.

“You sure? Or were you with someone?” Mingyu taunted, and you shook your head at him.

“Mingyu, no, I would never,” you said, and Mingyu scoffed.

“You have,” he bit back.

“Not again,” you said firmly. Mingyu sighed.

“You know, the entire time I was waiting for you. I couldn’t help but think about it. I was wondering if you found someone else. If you were ignoring my phone calls because someone else was making you feel so good that you forgot about me,” Mingyu said.

“I love you, and I know my actions have not matched that, but I would never do what I did again. Ever,” you explained again, and Mingyu sighed.

“I guess I just have to believe you, right?” Mingyu asked with a dark chuckle.

“If you want to go or leave me, then you can,” you offered, and Mingyu shook his head.

“I need to be able to trust you again,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“I was at work. I didn’t meet up with anyone,” you repeated.  

“As I said, I don’t have a choice but to believe you,” Mingyu mumbled, and you frowned.

“Look, how about you join me? We can watch Netflix, and you can eat your dinner. I’ll join you for ice cream?” Mingyu suggested, and you smiled, nodding at him.

You rushed up the stairs to take a shower and change into his shirt quickly. You often forgot they weren’t your clothes; you were so used to wearing them.

Once you were done with your shower, you headed downstairs, grabbed your food, and sat on the couch three spots away from Mingyu, making him smile.

“I won’t bite.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Mingyu nodded.

“Just sit next to me.” You smiled and scooted over next to him.

“So, these new clients, what do they do?” Mingyu asked, making you glare at him.

“Are you interrogating me?” You asked, and Mingyu sighed.

“No. I’m asking you because I’m your boyfriend. I want to know about your day. However, your reaction makes me wonder why you’re so defensive,” Mingyu explained, and you pouted, placing your food on the coffee table in front of you and turning to face him.

“I’m so sorry. I  broke your trust and your heart. I won’t do it again,” you apologised.

“Shouldn’t have ever happened,” Mingyu mumbled, and you stayed quiet, knowing you shouldn’t defend yourself.

“Y/N? Why? I know you said you were lonely, but why?” Mingyu asked.

You took a deep breath as you looked up at him, his eyes watery, and you hated that you were the cause of it.

“You remember when you were on tour, we got into this huge fight because you missed three FaceTime calls with me, and you fell asleep on the one you did remember,” you cringed as you recalled the incident.

Nothing you were going to say would make anything that you did okay.

“Right, yes, so you cheated on me because I was inattentive?” Mingyu asked, not a hint of anger in his words, just pure confusion.

“I mean, after that call, we got into a huge fight, and we didn’t even speak for another two days, and I just felt neglected,” you added.

“So one night, when I saw you giggling on a live later, I got annoyed, went to a bar after work, and well, yeah, you know the rest,” you trailed off.

“Do I know him?” Mingyu asked.

“No, I don’t even know him,” you mumbled.

“So you threw it all away for a perfect stranger?” Mingyu asked.

“Tell me. What did he do to you? What did you do to him?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head.

“Mingyu, I don’t want to hurt you,” you tried to protest, making Mingyu scoff.

“You already have. Tell me,” Mingyu repeated, and you took a deep breath before responding.

“He went down on me, and he then fucked me,” you said quickly, like you were ripping off a band-aid.

“You didn’t go down on him?” He asked.

“No,” you said, your voice small, and Mingyu nodded.

“Did you at least use a condom?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded.

“Did you feel good? Just for that moment? Did you get what you wanted?” Mingyu asked.

“I guess I got the attention I wanted. However, no. I didn’t feel good about it; I hated myself for it,” you admitted.

“Look. I told you I want to work on us and move on from what happened, so I appreciate your honesty. However, you need to understand why I might be suspicious,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I need liquor, wine?” Mingyu asked, and you smiled, nodding at him. Mingyu smiled at you as he got off the couch, headed into the kitchen, and returned a couple of minutes later with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

“Here you go,” Mingyu said as he handed you a glass and sat down on the couch, this time sitting closer to you.  

“So Seungcheol hyung, he’s throwing a dinner thing next week,” Mingyu explained.

“I can make myself scarce,” you interrupted, and Mingyu smiled softly at you, shaking his head.

“No, he wants you there,” Mingyu said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Why?” you asked, unable to hide the shock in your voice, and Mingyu smiled softly at you,

“Because I want you there,” Mingyu responded, and you downed your glass of wine in response to his comment and placed the glass down before speaking.

“Mingyu, I don’t want to impose. Not in a room full of people who hate me,” you said, hating how weak you sounded when this was all your doing. Mingyu smiled softly at you before taking a sip of his drink.

“No one–okay, aside from Soonyoung–no one hates you,” Mingyu admitted.

“I know I have no right to be upset, not when I did this, but I feel so fucking stupid. I feel stupid for having the audacity to be upset when this is my doing,” you confessed, feeling pathetic for being upset. However, Mingyu smiled softly at you.

“Look. You have a week to decide if you don’t want to go. I won’t force you. However, it would be nice,” Mingyu offered.

“I’ll be there,” you said, your voice still soft, and Mingyu smiled at you.

“Good. Another glass?” Mingyu asked, motioning to your empty glass.

“Yes, please.”

You and Mingyu didn’t speak much, choosing to watch a Netflix series and just be near one another, trying and be normal.

“Mingyu?” You called out his name halfway through an episode, and Mingyu turned to smile at you,

“Yeah?” He responded, eyes still on the screen.

You hesitated for a second, “Can I, um. Never mind,” you mumbled, swallowed  your words, and Mingyu groaned, pausing the show.

“What?” He asked, looking at you.

“Can I get a bit of the blanket? I’m cold,” you asked, rubbing your palms together as if to prove a point, and Mingyu grinned, lifting the blanket off him and holding it up.

“Come on. You’ll freeze,” Mingyu said, motioning for you to join him under the blanket, and you froze in a different way.

“Y/N, I’m trying here, but you need to meet me halfway. I can grab another blanket for you, but I’d like to share one with my girlfriend,” Mingyu stated, making your heart swell as you nodded and crawled into and curled into his side.

“The new client, they’re designers, they deal with luxury goods, and they need someone to guide them through our consulting process and how we can be an asset to them,” you mumbled, and Mingyu smiled at you, happy to have a normal conversation with you.

“So, fancy rich people?” Mingyu joked, and you nodded.

“I’m aiming to secure a retainer agreement with them,” you explained, and Mingyu nodded,

“Well, make sure you rest in between, okay? Because you always overextend yourself, and I don’t want you burning out,” Mingyu spoke softly, and you smiled fondly at him.

“I won’t,” you promised, and Mingyu smiled, holding out his pinkie to you, “promise?” He asked, and you laughed and laced your finger with his.

“I promise,” you said, and Mingyu smiled, letting go of your hand, and pulled you closer to his side.

“Okay, now can we find out what happens in this episode?” Mingyu asked, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Gyu, it’s Suits. Harvey Specter will do something that is not viable in reality and save the day,” you explained. The lawyer in you just could not refrain from describing how wrong Suits was.

“You called me Gyu,” Mingyu mumbled.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” you apologised, and Mingyu paused the episode and turned to face you, his legs around you as you sat in the space between his legs.

“You know, all of the restraining, the formalities. I get why you’ve held back, but it’s been two months. I’m not mad at you for calling me Gyu. It made me happy. You’ve imposed all these restrictions on yourself, none of which I asked you to do. I’m not blaming or scolding you. I’m simply saying that I want you to be yourself—the funny, unfiltered, loving and frankly unrestrained woman that I fell in love with. I know you’ll say that you hurt me being that, but I just don’t want to dwell anymore,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Gyu,” you repeated, and Mingyu smiled at you before frowning when he realised you were crying.

“Hey now, why are you crying,” Mingyu asked.

“You’re so fucking, patient. You’re so kind for what I did, and I hate that I’m the one falling apart,” you admitted, and Mingyu smiled at you, wiping a tear off your face.

“In some sick way, I appreciate it because I know you regret what you did. It’d be worse if you acted so normal. If you showed no remorse, then I’d be like fuck. I’m on my way, I guess.” Mingyu confessed, wiping your tears.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologised.

“I know. You’ve said it enough times. So I know you’re sorry, but as I said, I need time, but I don’t want to act or walk around eggshells with you because then one day that will end up blowing up in our faces,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“I don’t deserve you,” you mumbled, and Mingyu sighed and pulled you closer to him.

“You don’t, but I love you. So let me decide if I can do this?” Mingyu said, and you nodded, smiling softly as Mingyu wiped another tear off your face.

“Now, can I watch Harvey Specter save the day?” Mingyu asked, and you smiled at him as he pressed play.

Mingyu adjusted himself so you were lying on his chest as you watched the episode. Mingyu shifted slightly, making his leg brush against your underwear, making you bite your lip, an action that did not go unnoticed by Mingyu.

“What?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head.

“Nothing,” you mumbled before fixing your eyes back on the screen.

Mingyu smirked, shifting his leg again, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that fell from your lips.

“You liked that?” Mingyu teased, and you sighed, nodding, making him smirk as you both continued to watch Suits.

However, he adjusted himself, and you were sitting between his legs, his large hands tracing small circles on your thigh.

Mingyu suddenly paused the show and asked you to turn around. You did as he asked, and he pulled you into his lap.

“Kiss me,” Mingyu whispered, his hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You smiled as you touched his lips, groaning immediately when you tasted him for the first time in months. You were kissing him, not just a peck, but a kiss.

You felt him run his tongue along your bottom lip, and he slipped his tongue inside you. You moaned into his mouth and kept kissing him until he slowly pulled away from you.

You were about to apologise in case you went too far, but Mingyu pulled you in for another kiss. You moaned into the kiss as his bulge pressed into your cloth-covered cunt. Mingyu moved quickly and pulled his cock out.

“I need to feel you,” Mingyu muttered against your lips, and you moaned and nodded. Mingyu moved your panties to the side, ran his cock against your folds and pushed into you.

“Fuck,” you choked out, your hands gripping his hair for support.

“You’re so fucking tight. So fucking tight,” Mingyu groaned as he let his cock stretch you open. You moaned as Mingyu guided his cock in and out of you.

He laid back and let you fall on his chest before he picked his pace, thrusting into you relentlessly. The lack of sex between the two of you meant that you both came quickly. You simply continued to kiss him, scared to speak as if it’d ruin the moment.

You rested your head against Mingyu’s chest as you felt him soften inside you, his warmth coating your walls.

“Mingyu?” you asked softly, noticing that your boyfriend’s expression didn’t match yours.

“Did you kiss that guy?” Mingyu asked, and you sighed, climbing off his lap.

“Mingyu, don’t,” you begged, making him scoff at you.

“I did. I’m so sorry,” you apologised, and Mingyu sighed, standing up and pulling his trousers up.

“This was way too quick. I know I initiated it, so I’m not mad at you, but right now, I can’t look at you,” Mingyu admitted, taking a deep breath before delivering the words that made you despise yourself further.

“The entire time I was inside you, all I could think about was the fact that you probably moaned the same way for that other guy. Looking just as fucked out, and that’s not an image I can get over so easily,” Mingyu continued.  

“I’m going to bed,” Mingyu said, not sparing you a glance and heading upstairs.

You decided to stay downstairs the entire night. It would do neither of you any good to be near one another now. You felt terrible. You should have stopped him, but you missed his touch.

You hated how you had become a slave to your instincts.

“Hey. Oh, you’re leaving?” Mingyu asked as he saw you sliding your heels on the following day.

“Yeah. Fancy clients, they call, I answer,” you replied.

“Like that guy in the bar? He snapped, and your face fell.

“Mingyu, I can do this with you after work. You can yell, scream and insult me as much as you need. Just not before work.” Mingyu’s glare intensified.

“Do you think I do it because I enjoy hurting you?” Mingyu asked, and you shook your head at him.

“Mingyu, I need to go,” you said, reaching for the doorknob, and Mingyu scoffed at you.

“Do you have anything you want to say?” Mingyu asked, and you sighed at him.

“I do. But I do not have the time for it now,” you explained, and Mingyu nodded.

“Just think about this as you go to work. Why do you have time for everyone except for me?” Mingyu said before storming upstairs.

“Y/N, well done. The clients are impressed with you, and I think we are getting closer to signing them,” Your boss praised after the meeting.

“Thanks,” you said with no real emotion, and your boss eyed you.

“Okay, what the hell? You should be happy?” your boss asked.

“My personal life is falling apart,” you admitted.

“Well, look. It’s already three. Why don’t you head home? You killed it today so that you can take the afternoon off,” your boss offered, and you thanked him profusely.

“Mingyu, I’m home. Oh,” you called out the second you entered the apartment and froze when you saw some of Mingyu’s members sitting in your living room. You got mixed reactions from all of them.

Seungcheol offered you a weak smile, Wonwoo nodded, Jun blinked a couple of times, and Jihoon looked your way to acknowledge your presence. You were thankful that the older members were discreet.

The same could not be said for the younger members.

“What are you doing here?” Chan asked, earning him a slight nudge from Jun for being disrespectful to someone older than him.

“I live here,” you muttered, and that was all it took for Soonyoung to snap.

“Right, because it’s your house, right?” Soonyoung fired back, knowing well that the building was in Mingyu’s name and not yours.

“I, um,” you stuttered, unsure of how to handle Soonyoung’s words.

“Y/N, why don’t you go to the bedroom? I’ll be done soon?” Mingyu interjected he couldn’t handle another fight with you, and he didn’t fancy seeing Soonyoung rip you to shreds, either. You gave Mingyu a forced smile and headed to his bedroom.

“Hey,” Mingyu said as he sat next to you on the bed.

“They’re uh gone. It’s safe for you to come out,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Does it bother you?” You asked.

“What bothers me?”

“The wealth gap between us,” you elaborated.

“You’re acting like you’re impoverished,” Mingyu scoffed, and he wasn’t wrong. You could live a very comfortable life without Mingyu’s wealth, but sometimes seeds of insecurity would get planted in your mind, and you’d wonder if you were enough.

“You know, if you dated an idol, she’d make as much money as you,” you said bitterly.

“I don’t say this to be a dick, but no. She wouldn’t. Frankly, what we make is very high. I’m grateful, but unless I’m dating another multimillionaire, then I’d still be earning more in a relationship,” Mingyu explained.

“She’d understand your life,” you offered, and Mingyu frowned.

“She’d understand that there would be lonely nights, weeks and months. She would get it, and she wouldn’t go looking for more when she had enough,” you admitted, feeling ashamed, feeling your voice crack.

“Is that why?” Mingyu asked.

“Why what?”

“Why you cheated,” Mingyu clarified.

“Oh god no, Mingyu, I wish I had a reason why, I don’t. It was dumb, it was stupid, and it’s something I’ll hate myself for doing to you. Nothing I did that night can justify why I did what I did. There’s nothing except a dumb fucking decision,” you rambled, not realising that you were crying until you realised that Mingyu inched closer to you, holding your face in his hands and wiping your tears.

“Don’t hate yourself. I don’t,” Mingyu said quietly.

“Why not?”

“I hate what you did, but to hate you? Fuck, that’s something I don’t think I can do,” Mingyu admitted.

“Soonyoung hyung was way out of line,” Mingyu added, understanding what your spiral was about, and you shook your head and gently moved his hands away from your face.

“No. He wasn’t. He’s protecting you,” you countered, and Mingyu shrugged, not wanting to argue with you.

“It wasn’t just Soonyoung hyung. I was out of line, too. I said some shitty things to you this morning and last night. Having sex with you again, trust me, for the most part, it was good, but the minute you started to moan and get close to cumming. I couldn’t help but think of you doing the same thing for another man,” Mingyu confessed.

“But I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. I should have stopped Soonyoung hyung today,” Mingyu mumbled as you stayed quiet.

“Say something, please?” Mingyu asked.

“You had every right to act the way you did, and Soonyoung wasn’t wrong in expressing his anger,” you said calmly, and Mingyu pouted at you.

“Okay, let’s change the topic. Why did you come back early?” Mingyu asked.

“The meeting went well, and I guess my boss saw me miserable, so he let me come back early,” you admitted with a soft smile.

“Lovely, then I’m ordering food, and we can spend the day together,” Mingyu said, clapping his hands, and you traced circles on his hand.

“Gyu?” You said, making him smile.

“Yes?” He asked. You held out your arms to him, and he smiled, pulling you into his lap for a hug. You held on tightly. It was so fragile, and you were so scared to let go. You pulled away slowly, your lips inches away from his.

“Kiss me,” Mingyu whispered, his lips ghosting yours. You smiled and placed your lips on his. The kiss escalated quickly, as it always did. From being in Mingyu’s lap, you were now lying under him as he kept kissing you. His tongue was deepening the kiss. His hand moved up your body until it landed on the button of your trousers.

“Can I?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded, and that’s all Mingyu needed.

Mingyu undid the button and pushed his hand down your trousers and past your panties. His fingers found your clit, and he started to rub. You moaned into the kiss. Whimpers and pants were leaving your lips as he rubbed your clit.

When he suddenly stopped, you were so scared that the events of last night would occur again. Instead, Mingyu moved away from the kiss, pulled your trousers and panties off, and laid between your legs.

Mingyu moved to let his mouth wrap around your clit, making you buck into his mouth. You wanted to scream his name but were so scared that you’d break this moment if you spoke. Not just for the sake of an incredible orgasm but because you felt as if things between you two could finally be okay.

A sharp slap to your clit took you out of your thoughts.

“Why aren’t you making any noise? Have I lost my touch?” Mingyu growled, and you shook your head.

“No, it’s just, fuck,” you could barely finish your sentence as Mingyu pushed three fingers into you.

You winced slightly at the stretch, slowly letting out a moan as his lips found your clit again. Mingyu licked and flicked your clit while thrusting his fingers in and out of you.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” you choked out as you grabbed the sheets. You came and felt Mingyu lick you more. His hands held your shaking legs in place as he licked you through your orgasm.

“Good?” Mingyu asked, moving up your body, capturing your lips with his.

“Yes,” you moaned into the kiss as Mingyu smiled into the kiss.

“Can I?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded, knowing what he wanted, as he pulled his shirt off and threw his shorts across the room as he lined his thick length against your cunt and pushed in.

“Fuck,” Mingyu groaned as he started to thrust into you.

“Baby, you’re so tight, and it’s been so long. I won’t last,” Mingyu groaned as he played with your clit.

“Cum, Mingyu,” you encouraged as Mingyu started to pound into you harder, making you squeal in pleasure as you came around him. Mingyu groaned as his orgasm followed soon after yours.

Mingyu pulled you in for another kiss before moving his lips away and pulling out of you.

“No, don’t just stay with me,” Mingyu said, pulling you back into his arms.

“Gyu?” He hummed.

“I love you,” you said, and Mingyu sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead. It stung when he didn’t say it back, but you couldn’t take it.

You’d do anything to make it right.

“Do I look okay?” You asked later that week as you stepped out of the bathroom wearing a simple black dress. Mingyu smiled at you.

“They’ll love you no matter what,” Mingyu offered casually, and you froze.

“I mean. Uh,” Mingyu fumbled, and you gave him a small smile at walked over to him.

“I know.” Mingyu sighed, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“You look lovely, and you know I’ll always think that, but please don’t go in expecting too much tonight,” Mingyu offered.

“I know,” you said with a sad smile, and Mingyu pouted slightly. He almost hated that he felt terrible for you, especially since you brought this upon yourself.

“Let’s go?” Mingyu asked.

The entire car ride to the dorm was quiet. You were both too nervous.

“Hey, look, they might be vicious. It’s just that they care for me, so they’ll get defensive,” Mingyu explained, and you nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll be brave,” you said, grinning.

Mingyu nodded at your comment. He knew you deserved their anger and resentment, but it didn’t mean that it made it easier for him to hear it. Mingyu hated watching you sink with every insult or backhanded comment that was thrown your way.

Mingyu knocked on the door while you prayed that one of the older members would open the door.

“Y/N, Mingyu, glad you two could make it,” Seungcheol said, smiling at Mingyu and nodding in your direction.

“Come in. There are drinks and appetisers being served now,” Mingyu nodded, guiding you into their dorm.

“Go sit, look Wonwoo hyung won’t bite. I’ll be there in a minute.” You tried to plead with him, but you knew that you had lost any upper hand you may have once had.

“May I sit?” You asked Wonwoo, who simply nodded. You sat down cautiously.

“Can I get you a drink?” Wonwoo asked.

“Careful, hyung. Alcohol is the reason she’s in this predicament,” Soonyoung muttered, and Wonwoo shot him a glare. While Wonwoo was beyond upset with you, he didn’t approve of Soonyoung’s behaviour either.

“Okay, I’m here. What did I miss?” Mingyu asked, sliding next to you.

“Nothing, Gyu,” you mumbled, curling into his side, and Mingyu simply stared at his hyungs, hoping one of them would tell him what transpired.

“Alright, let me get you a drink, gin and tonic, right?” Mingyu asked as he stood up and headed back into the kitchen before you could stop him.

“Alright, here you go,” Mingyu returned, thankfully, quickly as he handed you your drink.

“Oh, Mingyu, are you excited about your project? You’ll be co-writing with Yuri for her solo?” Jun asked in an attempt to ease the tension in the room.

“Actually, yeah. She texted me about the song. I think it’ll be really cool. I’m meeting her at her studio next week,” Mingyu responded, and you loved seeing how lively he looked when he spoke about his work.

“What’s the song about?” You asked, and you saw Mingyu freeze for a second.

“Heartbreak and betrayal,” Mingyu mumbled, and you simply took another sip of your drink.

“I mean, we should really thank you, Y/N. You gave Mingyu such amazing inspiration,” Soonyoung remarked sarcastically, and you cringed.

“Y/N, I left my planner in my room last week. Do you think you could get it?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded quickly, running away from the living room and upstairs to Mingyu’s bedroom, trying your hardest not to break down on your way.

You knew there was no planner, but you were grateful to Mingyu for giving you a reason to leave.

Back in the living room, Mingyu was trying his hardest to reason with Soonyoung.

“Hyung, I’m trying to fix things with her, but it won't work if you keep saying things like that. She’s sorry,” Mingyu pleaded, and Soonyoung scoffed.

“Cheaters don’t change, and to her credit, I can see she’s sorry, but you don’t deserve that, and I don’t know why you’re putting up with it. You could have anyone else, and you're choosing the one who broke your heart.”

“Hey.”

You heard a voice call, turned around to see Chan, and quickly wiped your face.

“Shit, you’re crying,” Chan muttered, closing the door behind him.

“No, uh, just allergies.” Chan laughed.

“Yeah, right,” Chan scoffed, and you sighed.

“Why are you here?” You asked, and Chan shrugged.

“Well, hyung sent me, and Soonyoung hyung is having a talk with Mingyu hyung. So you’ve got me,” Chan explained.  

“Can I ask you something?”

“Why? I mean, did he ever upset you or ignore you? Is there something we don’t know?” Chan asked.

“I was lonely. It’s not an excuse at all. We were fighting so much. I just wanted something to numb the pain.” Chan nodded.

“Alcohol would have been a better solution, literally. It’s a solution,” Chan joked as you let out a tearful chuckle.

“Yay, you smiled,” Chan cheered.

“Don’t you hate me?” You asked, and Chan shook his head.

“No. I’ll always be upset, but hyung isn’t a baby. He doesn’t need me to coddle him or fight for him. I’m not mean, but sometimes I can lash out, and even I can say that Soonyoung hyung took it too far. You’ve always made hyung happy, and if being with you makes him happy and he forgives you, then I think we should all make peace with it.” Chan offered.

“Chan, I need to talk to her,” a voice interrupted as you saw Mingyu enter the room.

“Sure,” Chan said, waving at you as he left the room.

“He forgave you?” Mingyu asked.

“No, but he said if I make you happy, then he’ll make his peace with it,” you explained.

“Fuck, well, this doesn’t make what I’m about to do next any easier,” Mingyu mumbled, and you knew. It was over. He tried and couldn’t, and you didn’t blame him.

“I’ll pack my things by the end of the day tomorrow,”  you said as you tried to get up, and Mingyu held your wrist gently.

“No, you keep that apartment. I want to have a fresh start. Most of my things are here anyway,” Mingyu countered.

“I can’t forgive you,” Mingyu admitted, and you simply nodded, eyes trained on the carpeted floor.

“Mingyu?” You whispered his name, and he looked at you.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologised.

“I can drive you back,” Mingyu offered, and you shook your head.

“No, I’ll take a cab,” you mumbled. Mingyu nodded and turned around.

“Then leave. I can’t pretend anymore,” Mingyu breathed out, and you could hear how shaky his voice was.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it and left.

“Thank you for everything,” you said tearfully as you practically ran out of his bedroom and out of the dorms.

“Y/N!” Soonyoung ran after you, his hand on your wrist. The rest of the boys were confused for two reasons, one being that you left without Mingyu and the second that Soonyoung was the one that ran after you.

You were standing outside the dorm as Soonyoung held you in place.

“What the hell happened? Where are you going?” He asked.

“Home. Mingyu broke up with me, so I’m going home,” you admitted, and Soonyoung frowned.

“Did my comments do this?” Soonyoung asked, and you shook your head.

“No, we were bound to end. I should go,” you said sadly. Soonyoung sighed.

“I’m sorry it turned out this way,” Soonyoung apologised.

“Goodbye,” you said to Soonyoung.

That night when you got home, you couldn’t cry. You just felt numb. You felt nothing. You felt dead inside.

For the next week, you called off work, thankfully your clients had gone on a holiday and wouldn’t be back for two weeks. You took a week off. It wasn’t a lot, but it would be enough for you to start over.

You did every cliché there was. You went for a facial, went for a spa day. You drank and watched crappy movies with ice cream. Drank until you fell asleep. Every night you went to bed alone and hoped for a text from him.

You just needed to know that he was okay. You knew he felt every emotion deeply, and you didn’t want your stupidity to hurt him anymore.

One night after downing half a bottle of wine, you found it in you to dial his number. You sighed in relief when you realised he hadn’t blocked you.

“Y/N, it’s three in the morning?” Mingyu groaned, and that’s when you broke all the tears that never fell.

They all fell the minute you heard his voice.

“Y/N?” Mingyu said, more awake and concerned about your heavy breathing.

“Are you okay?” You mumbled, your voice breaking with every word.

“Y/N, fuck. Are you at home? Are you okay?” You sighed.

“Yeah. I just, I’m sorry, Mingyu.” Mingyu sighed before hanging up.

“Jesus, fuck,” you yelped when you saw Mingyu sitting in your kitchen the following day. You looked around the house.

“You cleaned up?” You asked, and Mingyu nodded.

“Most people change the locks when their ex moves out,” Mingyu joked, and you frowned.

“The house is under your name,” you said, giving a lame excuse, and Mingyu sighed.

“Am I okay? You called me yesterday to ask me that?” Mingyu asked, and you groaned. “Do you even care? You walked away,” Mingyu continued, raising his voice at you, and you just stared at him.

“You broke up with me,” you said, confused, and Mingyu nodded.

“I fought for us when you cheated, and you didn’t even fucking try,” Mingyu cried out.

“Gyu,” you started to say. Mingyu glared at you.

“Don’t Gyu me, I’m not yours,” Mingyu snapped, and you nodded.

“I saw the way you tried so hard to love me again. It broke you, and I want you to be happy, so I didn’t fight because you deserve better,” you yelled back, and Mingyu scoffed.

“You remember how I told you I’d be working on a song with Yuri?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded slowly, unsure why he randomly brought it up.

“We were in the studio, I think this was two nights after we broke up, and I think right before we wrapped up our session, she kissed me,” Mingyu explained.

“Oh.”

“I kissed her back,” Mingyu clarified.

“Okay.”

“But I couldn’t do it. Her lips, the kiss it all felt foreign to me. It wasn’t what I’m used to, and more importantly. It’s not what I want,” Mingyu added.

“She kissed you?” You repeated, feeling tears threaten to spill over.

“While you’re entitled to your feelings. I really hope you realise that getting mad at me for this will be beyond hypocritical,” Mingyu stated.

“I’m not. Just wow, she fits into your world. Better than I ever could,” you said weakly, and Mingyu scoffed as he stood up, moving closer to you,

“No. You can feel shitty for cheating on me, but I will not ever let you think you don’t belong in this world,” Mingyu said, and you pouted.

“I hurt you,” you choked out, your voice breaking.

“Yeah, and it fucking sucked. It still does, but one week. One week was enough to make me realise I don’t want to be without you. So we’re going to get through this,” Mingyu declared, determined, and you started to sob, and Mingyu took you into his arms, holding you tight.

“We’re going to hit reset. We will go on a first date again, and I will learn to trust you again. Clean slate,” Mingyu said, holding you close.

You nodded. Chances like these rarely come by, so you weren’t going to waste them.

“Oh and also, no more apologising. I’m not trying to rewrite history, but if you keep apologising, I won’t ever get past it. So let’s just start over, okay?” Mingyu explained, and you nodded tearfully.

“Reset?” You asked.

“Reset.”

“We’ll do this the right way,” Mingyu said, and you shook your head.

“No. I will. I’ll love you the way I should have,” you said, making him grin at you as you hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go.

You’d be damned if you lost him again.

#mingyu #seventeen #mingyu smut #mingyu angst #svthub #kvanity #thekpopuniverse #drift away: k.m.g