#for me it's the long look he and jesper share

[mmgwritings]

RUIN ME, RUIN US

Characters: Kaz Brekker / Dreg ! Reader

Prompts: “I… I want you to touch me,” Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment. (prompt created by @dumplingsjinson)

Warnings: Smut; Canon divergence; Obviously, I didn't proofread again; Masturbation; Oral Sex; NSFW; Really Long Text Sorry!

The streets were packed with people. Dazzled tourists, ravkan peasants, privileged and neglected children fought for space in the alleys with merchants, prostitutes and pickpockets - all the same, all too happy with the promises of the holiday. Nachtspel was an event during the Kerch year, in Ketterdam the party lasted for more than a week if you looked for the right club to spend money on frivolous pleasures.

This year people commented that the festival would last a month due to the visit of King Nikolai of Ravka, a tall man with a sarcastic smile who every now and then Y/N would bump into in the Slat - a place where kings didn't belong, that much she knew... at least not kings with a good reputation. The visit of the Ravkans was a promise of prosperity, King Nikolai and his entourage were in Ketterdam to bargain a spice trade line with the Council of Tides, a way of linking Ravka, Kerch and Shu Han in a triple alliance.

But it's interesting to think that King Nikolai is smart enough to also bargain with the real monarch of Kerch: Kaz Brekker. Y/N had not yet been in Ketterdam years ago when the Fold was destroyed, when a certain Ravkan prince needed the help of a small gang of thieves. But she heard about all this from Jesper, the Dregs' sharpshooter and part of Kaz's small retinue: the Crows. She also heard about the former king of Ketterdam, Pekka Rollins, and how Kaz made him beg, how he took everything from Rollins: clubs, indentures, friends in politics. Everything.

Well, almost everything. Kaz Brekker remains a mystery.

Y/N met Kaz a few days after arriving in Ketterdam, when he walked into the teashop she tended to. He needed a new waitress for the Crow Club, a seemingly simple job if the additional skill of the position wasn't listening to the conversations of some customers. She accepted, and here she is three years later. And she's dangerously involved with Kaz.

It all started very simply, they barely realized that they were spending too much time together. Y/N in the lounge, taking care of drinks or delivering envelopes to Kaz's office, or sharing a quiet living room in the Slat after everyone went to sleep.

One thing led to another over the years. A whispered conversation after the two drank too much, a longing look exchanged as they left for their posts at the Crow Club, a sleepless night on the building's terrace. But the moment they really realized, admitted, actually, having feelings for each other was when they realized that they needed each other.

For Y/N, their relationship was experienced at two peaks: the calm and comfort of knowing that they both loved each other and the turbulence and insecurity when dealing with Kaz's traumas. Y/N saw the way Jesper and Wylan, Nina and Matthias' relationship bothered Kaz, he wanted to be able to offer Y/N the same level of intimacy.

And that's why they've fought countless times. Silent wars where Kaz reluctantly tried to break up and Y/N pretended not to hear her boyfriend's stupid arguments. When Kaz tried to get away from her in vain, because Y/N always found a way to bother his heart with smiles, jokes and words of affection.

Kaz knew Y/N was patient. She was the best in his world. But, he knew that he needed to become a better man for her. What kind of relationship is this where he couldn't touch her without almost throwing up, fainting?

Y/N realized, just like she notices all the little things that make Kaz human, that he was trying to be more physical. Sometimes he would touch her hand gently, his fingertips gliding across her palm as if she were made of the most fragile glass. Other times he sat next to her on the window sill, too close that she felt his heat. Or when he suddenly decided that they would share the room, the same bed.

That was a difficult moment: Kaz gradually tried to stay close to her, until finally he managed to rest his arm on her throughout the night. But, all of this was done when he was fully dressed. Long-sleeved shirt, thick pants.

The kisses? Impossible. These took longer to go from merely touching lips to touching tongues. Let alone get lost in the moment. A kiss from Y/N would leave Kaz feverish, on the precipice between fainting from anxiety or lust. Sometimes he didn't even know if his trembling hands were a good or bad thing.

But it's over. Kaz, when properly warned, could get carried away. Y/N and Kaz occasionally had make-out sessions, one that left them panting, sweaty and craving for more. Wishing they were like all the other normal people, the ones they heard sighing in the dark alleys when they came back late at night from some mission. Those who occasionally locked themselves in the Crow Club bathroom and came out with a flushed face.

Would today be anything different? Y/N wondered as she went up to her room. Earlier, when she was still in stock at the Crow Club, Kaz spent time with her keeping her company while she counted the products. Y/N could tell he was a little nervous, but she didn't pressure him into saying anything.

So, he finally said a curt "Meet me in the bedroom later" and left for the office before Y/N could ask anything. And here she was, walking into the room and finding the sight of a Kaz Brekker sitting by the window, his eyes vacant into the night.

"Hey, how are you? Where's everyone?" Y/N said, taking off her coat and placing it on the trunk at the foot of the bed. When she arrived at Slat she noticed that it was strangely empty, even for a festival the house always had one or two people in the common rooms.

"Out" muttered Kaz "I gave them the night off." Then he finally looked at Y/N and there was something strange, it was as if he had never seen her in his life, as if he didn't know how to approach her.

"Cool… But, what happened to you? Did you want to tell me something?" Y/N said, approaching him slowly. Kaz sighed and held out his arms, an invitation for her to touch him, to hug him.

Y/N smiled, a gesture mirrored by Kaz, before surrendering to her arms. She was a little shorter than him, barely reaching her shoulders, the perfect height to fit in. Kaz placed a small kiss above her ear, a kiss that ended up trailing to her temple, her cheek, her jaw, the corners of her lips.

And then the famine came. The desire for more, much more. Kaz kissed Y/N's lips, a warm touch. Her hands, which had been clasped behind Kaz's back, moved up to his arms.

And then Kaz's tongue touched Y/N's parted lips strongly, a request, a promise. His tongue was everywhere: first sliding tentatively across her lips, then massaging, then sucking. It was so much more than they'd tried before, Y/N thought, as he nibbled on her bottom lip, pulling her closer into his arms, squeezing as if to make sure she was real.

Y/N didn't need to think much, she didn't want to stop and ask Kaz if everything was okay because, a second later, she felt one of his hands on her ass, groping. They had too many clothes on. Kaz wore a dark, velvety green vest over a white shirt with long sleeves buttoned over the wrist. The pants were black and made of thick material, the ones he usually wears in the invention. Y/N was already wearing a long blouse, the pants she wore were masculine enough to not receive more than two glances from Crow Club customers. But now, she wished there weren't so many layers between them, that the cloths would disappear.

Y/N's hands came up to Kaz's face with a caress, she wanted more than anything to slide her fingers through his hair… so she did, and he allowed it. His kisses were making her dizzy, fervent.

"Kaz," she whispered as he occupied his lips with a new target, her neck. The hands on her ass tensing in search of more, more closeness. "Slow down, Kaz," she protested.

Kaz listened and then stopped, looked at her with dark eyes, his face flushed and his lips red… lips that Y/N would never get tired of kissing. "I want you" he said "I want you to kiss me until you're sick of it, I want everything… more"

Y/N's heart lost a beat and then pulsed quickly. That was the kind of thing he said in her delirium, when she dreamed and woke up wishing she could just embrace the man who slept next to her. What else could she do upon hearing this request? She kissed him like she had never kissed him before, her fingers threading through his hair, down his neck, to his face.

A sloppy kiss because they've never done it before. Hands roaming each other's bodies more than they dared before. Kaz was all hands. Tightly squeezing her ass or reaching up to her waist, pulling her closer.

Then, one of Kaz's hands went to Y/N's hair, deftly removing the ribbon that held the curls in a messy braid, while his other hand went down to her right thigh, lifting her leg slightly so that he could get closer... Saints, she wanted to be able to melt and merge with Kaz.

Y/N could barely breathe between the kisses, Kaz's lips were all she wanted, she wanted them all over her body, for him to mark her. Then he pulled her towards the bed, bumping into the table, tripping over the carpet and laughing a little at his clumsiness.

She sat on the bed and looked at Kaz, her face flushed and a slight smile on her face. The street light that entered the room bathed him in a warm, golden light, Kaz had never seemed more alive than at that moment. He was the most beautiful person Y/N had ever seen in her life. He looked so carefree as he rested one of his knees between Y/N's legs, his hand tenderly caressing her face and brushing away stray strands of hair from the front of her forehead.

"You're so beautiful", Kaz murmured, his lips resting a soft peck on the tip of Y/N's nose.

"I can say the same", said Y/N. Pulling him to the middle of the bed so he was on top of her. "There are so many beautiful things I can tell you now. But none of them compare to you, Kaz Rietveld."

She kissed his cheek, then his nose, his chin, his mouth. Her hand, the one that wasn't busy cupping Kaz's face, slid down his back, feeling the muscles beneath his clothes tense slightly, then, at the base of his spine, she pushed him slowly until their body was pressed together. Too many clothes, Y/N thought.

Kaz must have had the same thought, because he deftly slipped his fingers between the top buttons of Y/N's blouse. Beneath it there was nothing but skin flushed with desire.

Well, they've seen a bit of each other's nudity over the years they've shared a room, but it's never been this explicit. So raw. Kaz's eyes slid over Y/N's breasts, his fingers following his gaze to her nipples, touching tentatively, seeing how far they could both go. When her only response was a sigh of pleasure, Kaz opened the rest of her blouse and clumsily pulled the fabric from her body.

Mouths, hands, sighs, moans. Kaz offered and received caresses as he rested his mouth on Y/N's nipples, his warm tongue sliding, sucking and nibbling mercilessly. Y/N's hands didn't know where to hold on in the material world, they were in his hair, keeping him as close as possible, on his shoulders, on his arms, pulling him for more.

Kaz realized that his favorite sound was her moans. It was a sound that reverberated through his body like an overwhelming storm that made his heart palpitate heavily, that made his brain melt and that somehow, caused a pleasant pressure to rest in his groin.

Y/N was lost, she didn't know she was so sensitive there. Or maybe this is just Kaz's effect, his talent. When his mouth was on her nipples everything was perfect and horrible, she felt out of control, completely at Kaz's mercy.

When he stopped kissing her was the moment she hated him, but when he looked at her with a shy look on her face, Y/N loved him more than anything. What happened? Y/N wanted to ask, but there was no time, Kaz let out a low, guttural sound when he moved over Y/N, she felt, through all the layers of clothes that still separated them, Kaz's cock pressed against her.

A shiver ran up her spine. Y/N kissed him hard, tongue lashing over Kaz's lips, her nails scratching his arms, pulling him, feeling him. A wave of pleasure coursed through her body as her sensitive nipples came into contact with the raised embroidery of Kaz's vest. She opened her legs wider to accommodate him between her and Kaz's hand went to her ass, pulling her towards his crotch.

Suddenly, Y/N pushed Kaz away. Turning his body so she was on top, she then quickly took off her pants. She's sick of so many clothes.

Kaz was in awe, looking at her body as if it were some kind of miracle, as if some saint was descending from heaven with an offer too good to be true. Or like a demon, leading him to a path of no return. For the first time in his life he felt nothing bad happening, no repulsion, no aversion at the thought of touching someone. He just wanted more from her, wanted to take everything from her, touch her everywhere, but more than anything, he wanted her to touch him.

Their relationship was always smooth, they never talked about sex or about anything other than kisses, but they both wanted the same feeling of fulfillment that all other couples had. So, it was not without shyness that Kaz, completely vulnerable to Y/N, looked at her with pious eyes and pleaded.

"I... I want you to touch me," Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment.

It was selfish of him to ask that. It was malicious, negligent, narcissistic, asking for pleasure when she was the one who should be adored. But Kaz was never much for bending, he was never pious.

Little did he know that it was what Y/N wanted most.

She smiled and kissed Kaz, her light fingers opening the buttons of his pants, slipping down to his cock. The feeling was very different from what she had imagined, Kaz was warm, soft, firm and… big. Very.

Kaz let out a strangled sound, his hands that rested on her waist fluttered slightly. "Everything is fine?" she asked, the movements of her hand stopped completely, but she didn't remove it.

"Yes," he sighed, closing his eyes in pleasure.

Y/N then moved her hand slightly up and down, gently squeezing the base, sliding the tip of her thumb over the tip of his dick. Feeling the cum spread in his hand. Kaz was discreet, he was trying not to get carried away, she realized, but she could hear the light moans that escaped his lips, she could tell that he was really enjoying it when he tensed his jaw, when he squeezed her ass.

Daring the limits, Y/N lowered Kaz's pants further, finally seeing him completely. It was definitely not what she had imagined. Kaz was very thick, the tip was a dark pink color that glistened with cum and had some prominent veins. She wondered what it would feel like in her mouth.

When Y/N gave Kaz a peck on the crotch, just above the pubic hair line, she looked at him as if asking if she could continue. His eyes were moist, as if it was a difficult task to contain all of his impulses.

“Please,” he begged, one hand caressing Y/N’s cheek. "Please don't stop" he moaned.

She then tried putting just the tip of his dick in her mouth, her tongue testing the taste of his cum, then, tentatively, she saw how much it all fit.

It wasn't much. She didn't have that much experience, she couldn't take his entire dick in her mouth without feeling like she might choke. So, she took turns sucking and licking, from the base to the tip, then, when she saw that he liked it, she held his balls and massaged them lightly. But she never stopped moving her hand in a tempting gesture.

Kaz was getting carried away. When he became very impatient with Y/n's slow movements he begged to be rough, when he felt her tongue passing over the tip, sucking, and looking at him, he let the moans, previously low, sound at ease. Damn anyone who listens.

Please, please, please, he said. Hip thrusting, his dick entering her mouth even more. Beg, Y/N wanted to say, beg for more and maybe I'll let you cum, fill my mouth with it, let you see how you ruin me.

So, when she felt his hip thrusts become more sloppy, when his moans were lost between his panting, Y/N sucked hard on Kaz's cock and felt, in the back of her throat, his cum pooling on her tongue, sliding down her chin.

When his orgasm ended, he was panting and feverish, his hair messy, beads of sweat sliding down his forehead, his cheeks pink. He was a beautiful sight. He was a beautiful mess.

As for Y/N, she was strangely shy under Kaz's longing gaze, feeling cum slide down her chin and drip onto her breasts. "Beautiful" Kaz said, standing up and placing a sloppy kiss on her lips, his tempting tongue lashing into her mouth, both of them tasting him.

"All mine", he whispered, as he pulled her to saddle him. Y/N felt his dick brush against her pussy. "And I want all of you. I want you to ruin me, ruin us."

#mmgwbrekker #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker smut #shadow and bone #kaz brekker imagine #kinktober #kaz brekker kinktober

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Apple tree" - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[nudity]

SUMMARY: No one recognizes the melody Kaz sometimes hums to himself while lost in thought. Neither does anyone know where he disappears for entire nights or why he seems happier when he returns.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.5k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

In those rare moments when Kaz is too focused on something to pay attention to the material world, a soft hum would escape his lips as though the tune could finally wriggle out of his cluttered mind and dance along the cold winds of Ketterdam. Set free, at last!

Jesper once asked him about the melody but Kaz only gave him a puzzled look as though he wasn’t aware of his own habit. Knowing that they can’t possibly force anything from their hard-headed boss, the Crows began making bets among themselves:

‘Probably just a barkeep’s song he can’t get out of his head.’

‘Some kind of a meditation technique.’

‘Maybe it’s a song from his neighbourhood?’

‘Lullaby his mother sang to him!’

But all of their guesses were equally good. Although, a more accurate expression would be ‘equally incorrect’. As months turned into years, the mystery remained, while the nosy rogues still aren’t any closer to solving it. What’s worse, they are beginning to run out of ideas.

Arguing about the melody in hushed voices, they never see him leave - only notice his sudden absence. This part of the enigma, however, is well-known to them: Kaz will reappear in the late morning the next day, a lot more patient and relaxed than he was the night before. Where could he possibly vanish to, they wondered.

Kaz hears himself quietly sigh in relief when your quiet voice reaches his ears. The longed-for sound comes from the hall, growing louder as you walk into your bedroom. Sitting on your bed with his back against the wall, he has a perfect view of your silhouette rounding the corner and entering the room. An uncomfortable tightness presses down on Kaz’s chest, the very same sensation he felt that fateful day when your eyes met. Despite all this time, he hasn’t yet gotten used to the sight: you emerge from the hall as though you were just breathed into life, with the softness of something oblivious to the terror of the surrounding world. He likes that thought, no matter how naive it is - that he can both have you all to himself and protect you from what he is. 

“Near my garden bloomed an apple tree,” you sing to yourself. “Bloomed in white, it had red apples.”

There’s something in your voice that he can’t quite put a finger on - a sense of longing, melancholy, as though the song becomes a coded message when it brushes past your lips; like there’s a heartache you haven’t yet shared with him. He sometimes wonders how many tears you’ve cried when he wasn’t looking but the thought makes him too angry to entertain it for more than a handful of seconds.

The lack of attention you give Kaz is quite deceptive. You’re standing right in the middle of the room, undressing a little too temptingly for it to be an accident. There’s no shame or shyness left in you - after all, he’s seen all of it before, many times. His eyes burn your skin in the same way a ray of sunshine feels against cold cheeks in the middle of winter. You bask in it, the desire that still burns after all those years, even if he doesn’t quite realize it.

“Who will pick them for me when my Johnny is cross?”

A horse’s neighing diverts Kaz’s attention from you to the cracked-open window. It’s like a robbery - the smallest gap can be an entrance. Or an exit, for that matter. Although your voice is hushed, audible only to him and yourself, Kaz begins to feel envious at the notion that the night breeze could possibly carry this sweet tune to undeserving ears. Perhaps it is childish of him to think that he could have exclusive ownership of you and this little song, to finally have something he can call his own.

“He’s angry but I don’t know why. Used to visit me but I don’t know why.”

His gaze returns to you, watching closely as you sit at the vanity. The oil lamp beside you lights up only half of your face, making you appear somewhat elusive, a bird of paradise that shall escape the moment you loosen your grip around its wings. You’re taking off your jewelery, putting it away to assorted boxes with utmost attention and care. Kaz can relate to this, in a way - years ago, when your romance was only buds about to bloom, he warned you that you should find another man, someone who can give you the lavish lifestyle you deserve and intimacy you certainly want. But you were more than unwilling to listen and that was, perhaps, your last mistake as the moment you gave yourself to him, Kaz was going to fight tooth and nail to keep the status quo. He is a crow, after all - a greedy collector of treasures.

“He visited me all spring, asking mother when I would grow.”

For the first time this evening, your gaze deliberately meets his. You’re still sitting at the vanity, sideways to Kaz, and you have to look over your shoulder to see his face. In that moment, there is something so divine about you, he begins to doubt his senses. His mind relates to various frescos and paintings of the Saints he has seen. Those same pieces of exquisite artistry bring thousands of people to their knees, bowing in front of faces as gentle as yours. Their hearts suddenly rejoicing in the presence of merciful, watchful eyes that only know love and care. No Saint has ever watched over him, so perhaps it is only natural that he should start praying to you. Epiphany, after all, is not an artifact of pews, old pages and litanies - it is the moment you see yourself through the eyes of your lover, only to realize that not an ounce of your soul could ever be unlovable.

That look in your eyes - he both hates it and yearns for it. It’s like you’re staring at something worth admiring. Kaz always thinks he sees there a note of mercy; a look of compassion and understanding given to a wounded animal that tries to remain threatening. Maybe you have fallen into a trap he didn’t even know he had set.

A few minutes pass by when you and Kaz simply watch each other. The silence is filled with nothing and everything at once - unspoken promises, words of poetry and grandeur that would only attract malice if said in Ketterdam.

“Something’s on your mind,” he breaks the comfortable quietness.

“You should get some rest, love.”

Kaz has a burning suspicion that you know very well what you’re doing to him with your small, albeit still groundbreaking, confessions of adoration. The closer he grew to you, to more of those affirmations he began to notice. Mostly, they aren’t straightforward but like snowdrops in February, they are apparent to those looking for them and by the Saints, does Kaz Brekker look for the confirmation of your love, never quite satiated. In words of care, ‘go to sleep’ or ‘eat something’, he’s learned to find intimacy beyond spoken language.

“I didn’t come here for rest,” Kaz informs. No one in their right mind would choose sleep over the presence of something too divine to be considered only human.

A wide smile creeps onto your face. How is he supposed to remain ‘the Bastard’ when you’re looking at him like that? 

“Then what for?” you coax.

He cocks his head, staring at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Perhaps I just enjoy the view.”

“Oh my, did you just give me a compliment?” Jokingly, you put a hand on your chest. A giggle escapes your lips. 

“Would that be so awful?”

You stand up from the vanity, making your way towards him. His watchful gaze never leaves you, painting Kaz something of a predator - waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce. Climbing into your bed, you lay beside him.

“So awful I’d stay up all night thinking about it,” you say in a hushed tone.

Ever since he’s gotten comfortable with that, the motion of laying his head against your chest feels so natural to Kaz that he can hardly believe he has lived most of his life without doing so. Your muffled heartbeat rings in his ears and he unknowingly takes a deep, slow breath - you’re right here with him. Most importantly, you’re okay and that’s enough for him to put his thoughts at rest. Your hand brushes through his hair. To Kaz, intimacy feels perfectly strange.

In a voice barely louder than the calm rhythm of your heart, you finish the song that has bewitched Kaz about as much as you have:

“He visited me all summer and I kissed him for that. He visited me all autumn and I put apples in his pockets.”

When his consciousness dances along the line of sleep and wake, he feels your warm lips softly kissing his forehead. Maybe he has been wrong all along and it was you who had trapped him. Not that he has any desire to break free, of course.

#kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows fanfic #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows fanfiction #six of crows #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #kaz brekker x you #six of crows x you #shadow and bone x you #Spotify

[amsgrey]

he just sounds like that

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader (established relationship)

synopsis: Arrogance has no place on a job, but you let it lower your guard. You pay the price, but Kaz helps bring you back.

I kind of like merging Book/Show Kaz and trying to keep accurate to his mannerisms and humour etc so hopefully this is good. I came about this idea after thinking about this scene from TLOU and how Kaz most definitely had an asshole voice. Also, I will probably make a few parts/drabbles about Kaz x Inferni Reader, because I love Kaz no apologies.

Warnings: Mentions of Slavery, reader reliving her time as a slave (briefly), Mentions of scars of wrists from slavery chains etc, A fumbley understanding of the technology of the time and inferni powers (it's been so long since I read the books)

Getting split from the other crows was distressing, but there was nothing you could do about that now. You and Kaz just had to keep going, trying to work your way back to the rendezvous point.

"Tell me again why you thought this would work," You hissed to Kaz, who had been leading you in a circle for what felt like forever.

Kaz gave you an irritated glare, "It did work."

You scoffed, "Yeah, that's why we're lost in this saints forsaken mansion."

Kaz let out an exasperated sigh, "Are you done?"

You and Kaz had known each other for years, the entire time you'd known each other you bantered like this. Kaz would act all irritated and stern, but you knew he silently liked the way you could relieve tension and make even him crack a smile. As the only two Crows born and raised in the farmlands of Kerch, you shared a different connection. You had found each other before The Barrel knew Kaz as the force he was now. Kaz had saved you from Slavers and convinced you to join the Dregs, helping you find a life without fear.

Since then, you followed him through everything, which at this current moment, meant even through the merchant's maze of a mansion. Nina, Matthias and Wylan were somewhere outside, waiting for you, Kaz, Inej and Jesper to get what you were after and meet them. You wondered if they would be growing impatient yet, you were late, which almost never happened on a job with Kaz.

The job had started off as most others, breaking in was always the easy part. You had been privy to Kaz's plans, watching him study a map of the mansion for weeks before he committed to the job. He knew the place like the back of his hand, but he didn't know the extent of the new security measures the merch had introduced.

You and Jesper dawdled behind Inej and Kaz as they led the group through the halls. Occasionally Jesper would pause at a painting or display piece and make comments about its ugliness or stupidity.

The last painting he'd criticized was of an older man, dressed in a bright blue kefta with red embroidery. Jesper had caught your sleeve and pointed it out to you, "Looks like the merch has inferni ancestor."

You had screwed your nose up at the portrait, "I thought he was Kaelish?"

"He is," Kaz said, already at the end of the hall with Inej. He was waiting for the two of you to catch up, like a boy calling his dogs home.

Walking through the mansion felt surreal, mostly because you hadn't been to many places with such decadent displays of wealth. The four of you could move through the hallways unnoticed because the Merch and his family were out at the theatre - or whatever it was rich people did in Ketterdam on Sunday Nights. He had brought most of his guards and men with him, leaving the halls silent and unpatrolled. Kaz had called him an arrogant fool, to declare his mansion impenetrable and then take all his men out to prove it. There was no place able to keep out Dirtyhands, especially not when he had his crows by his side.

Thinking back on it you realized how you all had been too arrogant, thinking this job was in and out, easy. You'd let your guard down - something Kaz warned you to never do in this city - and now you were paying the price.

Everything went wrong when you and Kaz finally found what you were looking for - the merch's family jewel, a sapphire embedded in rich Kealish gold. You had easily broken through the fabrikator-made lock, it might have been made by a Grisha but it couldn't hold up against a Grisha. Especially not one who could melt metal with the same ease as cutting pastry. Kaz had reached for the jewels, as soon as he lifted it off the display the room filled with an ominous hum. Like the sound of a machine slowly whirring to life.

Kaz had pocketed the jewels, grabbing your forearm and tugging you along behind him as he went for the door Jesper and Inej were guarding. Before you could make it metal bars slid down over the doorway. You had tried to use your small science to melt the metal, even Jesper tried to budge it, but nothing worked. Kaz ordered Inej and Jesper to find their own way out as alarms chimed, directing you back through the room to another exit.

You had followed behind him willingly, knowing he knew the way around the mansion. You'd been irritated to learn how wrong you were, Kaz knew the layout of the mansion but the Merch had updated the floorplan. Clearly, another Fabrikator addition to hinder thieves.

"Wait," Kaz held up his hand and you barrelled straight into his back at the sudden halt, "Do you hear that?"

Footsteps.

"Back," Kaz whispered, ushering you back the way you had come.

You got to the end of the hall before you heard more bodies approaching, you were surrounded. Immediately you went to the window, trying to pull at the latch and open it. It didn't work, but you could see light dancing on the tree line.

"Kaz," You called, "Look."

You both squinted into the dark, trying to distinguish who it was in the woods. You saw the glint of steel, like someone was spinning a revolver.

"It's Jesper."

The footsteps were getting louder, there was no way you and Kaz could get out of this on your own.

"Step back," You struck your flint, the sparks allowing you to create a ball of flame. You concentrated it as small as it would allow, pressing your palms against the window until cracks started forming. After a few more seconds the pane shattered, sending the shards falling to the ground below. You were on the second floor, even if you wanted to jump there was no way you and Kaz would be able to land safely. You settled for sending up a burst of flames, Jesper and the others would be on the lookout for it, your SOS symbol.

"Stop!" Someone shouted and all hell broke loose.

You and Kaz fought well side by side, you both knew each other's moves, working in tandem to take down opponents. It looked like you might win for a little while, then a woman rounded the corner with her hands pressed together. Heartrender, you realized it too late.

You were woken suddenly, like your heart was all of a sudden coming back to life. You gasped and spluttered, lungs burning. Your hands were bound above your head, separated by a thick metal rod so that you couldn't summon. Already you could feel the ache in your shoulders, hanging from your arms was something you had been used to when you were a slave. Now, you had to fight back the panic that tried to grip your heart.

You struggled to find your footing for a moment, but eventually managed to stand up enough to take the strain off of your wrists.

Kaz.

Where was Kaz?

"Look, Brekker. Your girls fine."

You squinted to find where the voice was coming from, finding the source across the room. Kaz was standing opposite a burly man nearly a foot taller than him. Kaz's face was bloody and bruised, but he had murder in his eyes. You could see it, feel it, all the way across the room. You realized it wasn't just Kaz and the merchant; the other crows were there too. Inej held a blade against the heartrenders throat from earlier, who had both her hands held far apart to show her cooperation. Jesper was not too far away, his pistols in hand as he stared down a man who stood in between you and him.

What did I miss?

"No harm was done," The merchant continued, his voice thick with a Kaelish accent, "What do you say we part ways, unharmed."

Kaz's face didn't change, "Sure."

The Merchant frowned, a glimpse of fear breaking through his resolve, "I don't like your tone, boy."

"He always sounds like that," Jesper joked, glancing at you.

"He has an asshole voice," You agreed. Not two nights ago you and Jesper had been saying the same thing to Matthias at the Slat. You and Jesper enjoyed teasing the Fjerdan, especially regarding Kaz and his 'demjin' ways.

Kaz looked amused, he had the Merchant in the palm of his hand. "Go. Before I change my mind."

The Merchant almost tripped as he ran away, not even stopping for his Heartrender and right-hand man who followed behind him just as quick.

With the immediate threat gone, you felt your resolve begin to crumble. You had to get out of these chains. They would rub your wrists every time you moved, bringing you straight back to your past.

"Stop moving," An older woman had warned you, "It hurts less."

She was probably right, but you were too terrified to listen. Hours ago you were playing on your family's farm, but now you were chained to the roof in a dark, damp cellar. The chains were rusted and coarse, they rubbed the skin around your wrists raw, leaving cuts and grazes everywhere they pressed.

You were only eight, by far the youngest of all the slaves in the cellar. The chains they used to bind you didn't have cuffs, the slavers had just looped the links around your wrists and locked them tight. All you felt was the pain and the fear. All of this because you were Grisha? You only just learned of your power as an Inferni, how could you be worth anything?

The older woman tried to console you, doing her best to quell your tears and sobs, but even she knew the horrors that awaited you. The horrors you would spend years fighting to escape.

"Y/N," Kaz's voice was soft, he stood in front of you, supporting your weight as Jesper worked on freeing your hands from the chains. "Stay here."

You knew he was trying, you could see his own emotions clawing at him. It was one of the things that bound you and Kaz together, the demons of your past. You understood what it was like to fear touch and he understood what it was like to be betrayed. You helped each other, through the flashbacks and nightmares. You two didn't have anyone else, so you fought to have each other.

When Jesper finally broke through the chains, you lurched forward unexpectedly. Kaz held you tighter, trying to keep you upright even with his bad leg. You stood up, holding your hands out to balance yourself.

'I'm okay," You lied, trying to avoid Jesper and Inej's worried glances, "We should get out of here."

Back at the Slat, you sat staring at your cup of cocoa. Nina had made it for you as her way of trying to help, she could hear that your heartbeat hadn't stopped racing since leaving the job.

Jesper and Wylan had offered you gentle conversation, but you couldn't hold it for long. You had claimed you were tired, bidding your friends goodnight and climbing the stairs to your room. You didn't stop at your floor. Your feet carried you further up the steep stairs, stopping when you reached the attic which Kaz had converted into his own room. You didn't have to knock, you just opened the door and announced yourself.

Behind closed doors, Kaz was less concerned about keeping up his Dirtyhands persona. He smiled ever so slightly as you sat on his bed. A few months ago you had forced him to rearrange his room so that you could see him working while you lounged on his bed. You often ended up like this, watching him work after long days and taking comfort in each other's presence.

This time, Kaz wasn't concerned with his papers, he just looked at you, waiting for you to talk. You had talked Kaz through his own episodes many times, you never pushed him or asked him to move quicker than he was ready. For the first time, Kaz wanted to offer you the same comfort, but he wasn't sure if he could.

You were rubbing your wrists, stuck in your own memories of your time chained.

Kaz slowly joined you, giving you time to pull away. You glanced over at him, watching him as he slowly removed his gloves.

"Kaz-"

Kaz shook his head to silence you, continuing what he was doing. He placed his gloves neatly on the bedside table, turning to you. He reached out slowly and you let him. He gently pried your fingers away from your wrist, taking your hands in his own. He turned your palms up, his fingers slowly ghosting over the scars on your skin.

Kaz could feel the warmth of your skin through his fingertips. It helped him fight off the flashbacks, the warmth reminding him you were safe, healthy, alive.

Kaz's fingers traced over a scar on your right thumb. You couldn't help the small sigh that escaped your lips.

Kaz's head snapped up to look at you, fear filling his eyes.

"I'm okay," You meant it this time. The flashbacks were gone, locked in the vault in the back of your mind.

Kaz could tell that you meant it, see the anxiety leave your face. He drew his hands back, reaching for his gloves again. You smiled at him as he slipped his hands back into them, the leather bringing him the comfort he needed.

Kaz offered you a quiet apology.

"Kaz," You couldn't help the adoring smile on your face, "It's okay."

You knew Kaz could handle contact more when his gloves were on, so you gently took his hand. Kaz watched as you copied his movements from earlier, gently opening up his fingers. You slowly raised his hand, pressing a gentle kiss to his palm.

"I love you," You said, "Gloves and all."

Kaz smiled, a genuine smile that you only saw in the safety of these four walls.

He let out a quiet reply, "I love you too."

#six of crows #kaz brekker #six of crows x reader #the crows #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz and jesper #jesper fahey #six of crows jesper #wylan hendriks #jesper x wylan #wesper #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone s2 #shadow and bone s2 spoilers #pekka rollins #kaz dirtyhands brekker #bastard of the barrel #sab s2 spoilers #sab s2 #sab

[nolita-fairytale]

burn your life down | chef luca x fem! reader | part seven

summary: you and luca go to a club opening and take an opportunity to learn more about each other.

warnings: fluff, smut (18+ only), eventual angst not use of y/n, conversations about divorce, slow burn, baby, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, very little connection to the world of the bear.

word count: 5.3k

listen to: the official 'burn your life down' playlist

a/n: hi cuties. here is a long chapter with a whole lot of juicy content considering i've been gone all week. i'm also hard launching what luca's last name could be in this series -- something i've brainstormed with @arctvrvs and @superhoeva. there IS smut so please be respectful of it being 18+ only content.

also: mild implication on reader/mc having some kind of asian heritage, but you can super not take it that way, which is why i wrote joe's family as japanese-english. let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

part six | masterlist | part eight

“Cool shoes,” you say, your eyes fixed to Luca’s choice of Nikes for the night, instantly chuckling to yourself as you realize how silly the words coming out of your mouth sound. It’s like you’re a kid again, sitting on the back of the bus with her crush, trying to come up with something– anything – to say.

Luca chuckles, stealing a glance your way as he replies, “Yeah I've got a bit of a thing for them – trainers.”

“I… noticed,” you say, exchanging a look with him, your eyes meeting his as the two of you sit side by side on the train.

“Oh yeah?” he asks, with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well, there’s the coffee table book – that and you wore some to the ballet,” you explain, a blush running across your cheeks. 

“You noticed that?” he questions with a hint of amusement in his voice, only a little surprised that you’ve picked up on the little things before he’s shared them with you. 

“I notice you,” you answer, your voice quieter, yet genuine in your admission.”

He smirks. 

“And?”

“And… so far, I like what I see,” you flirt, boldly, this time. 

The right side of his mouth turns up into a small smile, and while you’re too busy reading his facial expressions, Luca’s busy finding your hand with his. You can feel it: the lightest touch that sets off butterflies in your belly, his fingers tangling with yours as you ride the train with him to Vesterbro, the humble beginnings of something good. 

As Luca continues glancing over at you, he shakes his head incredulously, letting out a small laugh in the opposite direction. 

“Hmm?” you hum, inquisitively, stealing a glance his way this time. 

“You just ehm…” he trails off, almost as if he’s not sure how to say what he wants to say next. “... you look… really beautiful tonight.” 

“Uh-, I-, Thank you,” you stumble through, deciding you’ll just accept his compliment. 

It’s not like you don’t know it – didn’t know what you were doing when you put on the barely-there lace bodysuit meant to be a lingerie teddy, that lays perfectly layered underneath your high rise pair of denim. The plunge neckline is cut deep, showcasing quite a bit of inner boob, so much of your cleavage, that you put pasties on just in case. You can tell Luca’s having trouble not ogling you as you smirk, giving his hand a confident squeeze. 

As you get off the train and back up to street level, you discover that it’s not a long walk to where the newly-opened club is located. Luca hasn’t let go of your hand and you savor the feeling of new love as the two of you walk hand in hand. 

“So explain to me again what all the drama’s about again,” Luca requests, recalling something you previously mentioned. 

“Oh it’s a whole thing,” you sigh, as you begin trying to explain yesterday’s gossip. “The guy Jesper is dating is one of the guys opening the club. I don’t think it’s serious, perhaps just a… fling of sorts, but Jesper’s ex-girlfriend who he dated for two years is a… well, she’s a bit of an influencer and it’s a whole thing because she’ll be there too.”

“Ooof,” Luca sounds, giving you a grateful hand squeeze. 

“Yeah. Any ex girlfriends we might run into tonight?” you ask, only half-joking. 

Luca shakes his head, “I doubt it. I don’t get out much.” He pauses. “Think my last serious ex-girlfriend moved to Spain a year ago or so.”

You hum in response, momentarily relieved that the likelihood of running into any of Luca’s exes tonight is low, considering it wasn’t something you’d worried about until the words were coming out of your mouth. You’re ready to wait in the line that’s formed outside of the club until you hear the sharp sound of Jesper calling your name, waving you into the club. You watch as he exchanges words with the bartender, while Luca mutters something to you about how fancy he feels about skipping the line. 

You and Luca follow Jesper down the long, dark hallway, the feeling of pulsating music and a heavy bassline undulating underneath your feet with each step. It feels more like a grungy club in Berlin than Copenhagen, but it seems like it’s what they’re going for, and you thank your past-self for choosing to wear something this sexy. While you feel out of place, at least you look like you knew what you were getting yourself into. 

“I’m glad you made it!” Jesper shouts over the loud music as he leads you and Luca to a table in the VIP area. 

“What? Thought I’d skip?” you shout back with a raised eyebrow. 

This time, Jesper leans in closer, “Thought you and Prince Charming would have a hard time leaving the bedroom now that you two are-.”

“Jesper!”

“What?” he asks with a shrug, looking from you to Luca, who sends you a quizzical look of his own. 

You send him an ‘I’m so sorry’ look before ignoring Jesper’s comment. 

“I don’t think I’m drunk enough for this yet,” you say, and you’re only half-joking. 

“Can I get you a drink?” Luca asks, overhearing your comment. 

“Yes,” you nod, before telling him your drink order. 

“Great. I’ll go,” he offers, though it’s more like a confirmation than anything else. He leaves the sweetest peck on your lips, earning a look from Jesper as you watch Luca disappear into the crowd. 

“Please don’t tell me you haven’t-,” Jesper groans. 

“We haven’t,” you interject, firmly. 

“You’ve got more self control than I would,” Jesper sighs, disappointedly as he shakes his head your way. 

Before you can reply, a pair of arms are wrapping around you as Mathilde’s voice follows with:

“Jesus Christ! Who said you could be hotter than me at my brother’s fling’s club opening?” Mathilde teases you, giving you a big hug. 

“It’s not just a fling!” Jesper protests at the same time as you, replying with: “It’s good to see you too, Mathilde.”

It really had only been a few hours since you closed down the restaurant for the night, but seeing the Mikkelson twins off the clock was a whole other animal. You can imagine a time, when they were both single, that the two of them could have ruled the Copenhagen social scene – two fiery forces to be reckoned with. 

“So have we run into the ex-girlfriend yet?” you ask, desperate to get the spotlight off of whether you and Luca had slept together yet. 

“Ahhhh,” Mathilde smirks. “No sign yet, but my money is on a fashionably late arrival.”

“What’s the drama? Claudio knows you’re bi. You and Sofia ended on good terms. I don’t get it,” you ask, curiously. 

“Because it’s Claudio’s big night. And I don’t want anything to fuck with it,” Jesper begins. 

“And because Jesper’s a big drama queen,” Mathilde adds, as her brother glares at her in response. 

“Who cares about how the night goes,” you chime in, from the perspective of an optimist.

“So you and Luca…” Mathilde solicits, raising her eyebrows a few times cheekily. 

“It’s good,” you guys, a broad smile spreading across your lips. “I mean… it’s really, really good.”

It’s good morning texts. And funny cartoons he sends you from the paper. And using him as a soundboard for new dish ideas.

“I’m proud of you, babe,” Mathilde smiles proudly. “For taking the leap.”

“I-,” you begin, before pausing. “Me too. I’m proud of me too.”

It’s then that you see Luca appear, just at the opening of the VIP area, headed in your direction with Emil following closely behind. 

“Hey!” you greet the both of them as they approach. While Luca has your drinks, Emil carries a tray filled with shots that you're not entirely sure you’re ready for. Your eyes widen. “Shots?”

Emil only shrugs, as Jesper corrals you, Luca, and Mathilde for a round of shots. You all pick up the soon-to-be-yours shot glasses, as Luca scoots over so that he stands closely, next to you. 

He leans in, the feeling of his lips ghosting over your ear sends a chill down your spine as he murmurs, “How much do you want to bet we’ll regret this tomorrow?”

“Oh, so much,” you answer, turning ever so slightly towards him, your lips inchest away from his. 

“To a night of letting loose,” Jesper shouts over the loud music as he begins his toast. “To old friends.” He pauses, toasting his glass towards Luca this time. “And new.” 

“Skal!”

“Skal!” you all echo as you cheers. 

“Eye contact!” Jesper orders, earning a laugh from you and another questioning look from Luca. 

Over the electronic music and flashing laser lights, you take in the sound of shot glasses hitting the table, the faces made in response to the bitter liquid, the whoops and cheers of a triumphant first shot of the night. 

You set your shot glass down on the tray along with the other empty ones as Luca asks you:

“Eye contact?”

“Yeah,” you shrug in response, taking a more flirtatious approach as you continue your explanation. “You’ve gotta make eye contact while you cheers or it’s seven years of bad sex.”

“Huh,” Luca smirks in response as you take his hand. 

“I think I’m ready for a proper drink now,” you coo, a seductive tone in your voice that Luca hasn’t heard yet. 

He likes it. Not just because it’s for him, but because he likes discovering these new parts of you, unraveling you as he goes, finding something different every time. 

And the more he learns, the more he likes you. 

He really likes you.

Luca is quick to locate where he put your drinks down right before you started taking shots. He hands you yours, then goes for his this time, raising his glass towards you. 

“Cheers,” you say with a raise of an eyebrow. 

“Cheers,” he replies, clinking his glass with yours with immovable eye contact. 

You raise your glass to your lips, taking your first sip, as Luca does the same, holding your gaze the entire time as if it’s a damn promise. Before anything can get too heated (because you swear the way he’s looking at you could start a forest fire) you hear the sound of Mathilde’s voice as she saunters over to the two of you. 

“Luca!” you hear her call out. “Come. Have a sit. I want to know everything about you.” 

You giggle, watching her usher Luca away so that she can bombard him with questions, and your heart fills with warmth. He’s here – meeting your friends, meeting your people – and you don’t even feel like running in the opposite direction. 

-------------------------------

In tandem with the loud, pulsating dance music, you move your hips in a swaying motion, against the feel of Luca’s tall, broad body. You’ve got your arms wrapped around his neck and at this point, you’re quite sure you’ve lost count of the drinks you’ve had. 

That anyone’s had, really. 

“Have I told you how absolutely ravishing you look tonight?” Luca rasps, leaning down so that the sound he makes vibrates right against your ear. 

You let out a gasp, the feel of his body pressed up against yours and the sound of his voice all feel too good. 

“I think last time you said ‘beautiful,’” you tease him, playfully. 

“Why can’t it be both, darling?” he asks you, grinning down at you. 

Instead of answering, you pull him towards you, pressing your mouth to his in a passionate attempt, yet very sloppy, drunk kiss. 

Do you want to get out of here? is what you think he’s going to say, but instead, Luca pulls back from the kiss, only to lean in once more as he whispers in your ear:

“Are you hungry?”

You laugh at the unexpected question, and suddenly, it becomes apparent to you that you’re starving. 

“Yes. You wanna get out of here?” you ask back. 

“Lead the way.”

Knowing it’ll take longer than you’d like for it too, you bypass the idea of trying to find everyone to say goodbye, and skip right to the Irish Goodbye, leading Luca out of the noisy club and back out to the bustling streets that are the red light district. The two of you are blissfully drunk and giggly as you sit on the train, on the way back to your place.

You’re more than grateful that you live so close to the train station, since it’s only a quick walk back to your apartment.

“I can’t believe those girls from the train were only just starting their night’s. Can you believe it?” you ask with a giggle, as Luca follows you up the stairs of your walk up. You fidget with your keys, unlocking the door as you continue on about how you’re not twenty five anymore and tonight’s reminded you that you can barely keep up now.

But Luca doesn’t answer your question. 

Instead, as soon as you close the door behind you, he’s pressing you up against it and kissing you like he’s going off to war tomorrow. You sigh his name against his lips as you kiss him back, completely turned on by the brute force of a man as tall as him. Your head spins as you realize that he’s only just started kissing you and he’s already got you this hot and bothered. You can’t tell whether it’s the alcohol, the way his lips move expertly against yours, or the way his hands snake up your torso, inching dangerously close to the exposed skin of your plunging lace teddy. 

“Touch me,” you gasp as an encouragement, impatient with the way your nerves seem to be screaming for more of his touch.

“Oh fuck,” he groans, his large hands moving to cover your breasts, only confirming his suspicions that you’ve been braless this whole time. 

This new discovery leads to another moan from his mouth as his hands wrap around you, pulling you closer to him. Luca presses his forehead against yours, abruptly breaking the kiss, his breath heavier, more uneven now. 

“Fuck, I think I might be too pissed for this,” Luca murmurs, as you try to catch your breath, knowing that he means drunk. 

You giggle, as you admit, “That’s-. Yes. I… too am very drunk.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he starts up again, leaving a small kiss on your lips. “But I’m not sure that’s quite the impression I want to leave on you either.” 

“That’s… so respectable,” you say on an exhale, in pure disbelief of how perfect this man is. 

“Plus,” he continues, in between kisses as his lips begin to place gentle kisses along your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. “When we do finally sleep together. I want you to remember. Every. Single. Thing. I do to you.”

You’re not sure whether you feel completely sexually frustrated or entirely turned on by how responsible of a decision Luca’s making for the both of you, considering the circumstances. Luca leaves a trail of kisses up your neck once more earning a moan from you as manage to get out:

“Fuck, okay. Just let me cook you something.” 

You both laugh as he agrees to the terms of your agreement. You playfully shove Luca off of you, knowing that you won’t be able to function much longer if he stays pressed up against you like this. 

“Wait here,” you order, holding up your index finger as if to say, ‘give me a moment,’ before disappearing into your bedroom. 

-------------------------------

By the time you emerge from your bedroom, you’ve changed into one of your favorite t-shirts to sleep in – an old, mildly tattered Rolling Stones tee that you once bought at the thrift shop back in college. Luca’s kicked off his shoes and has found a few of your cookbooks that he’s started flipping through as you pull an amalgam of half-full frozen dumpling bags out of your freezer. With your pan on the stovetop preheating, you silently offer Luca a glass of water, before leaving a soft kiss on his lips once more. 

You put a little music on, just something soft for the background as you add oil to the increasingly hot pan. Luca hums along with the song that’s playing, cookbook in one hand, glass of water in the other, as he approaches you, making his way to the kitchen island that sits directly across from your gas stove. He settles in, placing both objects down on the counter top as he sits down on the barstool you have tucked underneath the kitchen island. 

There’s a quiet intimacy about the way you move around each other, so comfortable, so familiar, even if you’ve only just met within the last few months. The sound of sizzling hot oil as you place the first frozen dumpling down into the pan adds texture to the symphony of your evening: your choice of music, Luca’s soft humming, the way the pan slides against the coils of your gas stove as you shake it. 

“Did you grow up cooking like this?” Luca asks, breaking the comfortable silence between you. 

“Uh… yes. And also no,” you reply, cryptically, ready to explain more. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Luca says with a chuckle. “You know… when I met you. When I first came to the restaurant… I was pleasantly surprised.” He takes a beat, taking a quick sip of water as he explains himself. “It’s just that the whole fusion thing got a little tired, a little too played out, but you seem to have given it new breath… new life.” Luca flips the page of the book he’s been examining. 

“And I recall you saying something about an Italian restaurant… so the Asian inspired flavors….”

“Yeah, no, it’s a great question,” you reply, turning to look at him as you let the bottoms of the dumplings crisp up. “So my mom was a single parent – raised me solo. Growing up we ate a lot of easy things… you know, like frozen dumplings… and lots of Stouffer’s lasagnas which… you could say that that combination alone is perhaps the foundation of discovering my culinary voice.” 

You chuckle, recalling your childhood memories as you share more.

“So no, I didn’t grow up cooking with her often. We didn’t do the whole… sit around a table and make dumplings for hours kind of thing, but Mom always has a bag of ‘em in the freezer and chili oil on hand. But yes, I grew up cooking like this, more so than anything I do now.”

Luca nods as he listens, his half smile growing as you so openly share about yourself. The way he responds to you – to learning about you – only makes you want to share more. It’s all true… but it’s not the whole story. 

“Do you have siblings?” he asks, curiously. 

“Nope, just me,” you answer, before deciding that you really do want to answer Luca’s initial question. 

“I actually learned a lot of this stuff – about miso, how to make a proper dashi, how to pleat dumplings – from Joe. From his mom,” you hesitate, before pausing. 

You want to check in with Luca, searching his face for any kind of reaction, before you proceed to talk about your ex husband considering you were so close to getting naked with him just minutes ago. 

“Is it okay… if I talk about him?” 

“Yeah,” Luca answers with a shrug, as if it were the simplest answer in the world. “He was a big part of your life – of you. And I like learning about you.” 

You accept his answer, trying your best to be cool about the fact that the level of emotional maturity it takes to respond that way really impresses the hell out of you. Realizing that it’s time to add water to your fry pan you turn your back to Luca momentarily once more. You add the smallest bit of water from your drinking glass, a white hot sound filling your ears as the cooking process goes from pan-frying to pan-steaming. You cover the pan tightly with its lid before turning back to Luca. 

“Joe’s family… they’re Japanese-English, which is really where I learned to start blending my own stories into food,” you explain, with an honesty that makes you feel incredibly naked right now. “His mom would teach me very traditional Japanese recipes when we first started dating – I think it’s how she knew how to connect with me, how we got to know each other, and I was more than eager to learn. we got to know each other. I… sort of always had a thing for food, for cooking, and learning things I didn’t necessarily learn in my immediate family unit… it was cool, you know? I just, I didn’t think it could really be a career, wasn’t my priority at the time to be an artist as the full-time gig.”

“But the more I learned from her, the more I realized that it wasn’t dissimilar from what I’d learned growing up inside of my best friend’s family’s Italian restaurant. And it all just kind of… grew from there. After Joe and I got divorced, I figured it was now or never, take the leap, do the thing I always wanted to do.”

“Opening a restaurant. That was your dream?” he asks, searching for confirmation. You nod as he smiles proudly. 

“And look at you now.”

“Yes,” you chuckle, taking a breath. “Yeah, somehow I now have a whole new life and restaurant in Copenhagen.”

“You do,” Luca nods, admiration evident in his eyes. 

You take a beat because the way he looks at you sends another rush through you, and this time, you know it’s not the alcohol. 

“While we’re on the subject… What about you? What are your parents like?” you ask, shifting the spotlight over to him this time. 

“Well, like you, I grew up mostly with a single mom,” Luca replies, as a flash of recognition flashes through your eyes. 

“Mostly?” you question. 

“Yeah um..” he trails off.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t-,” you interject.

“No, I-, I want you to know,” he reassures you, a soft look in his eyes that makes you want to trust his word, as if he wants you to know him too. 

“Okay,” you say, softly. 

You’re not sure a man’s ever let you in like this before and it feels terrifying and electric all at once. 

“My full name is Luca Davies-Bernardi,” he starts. “...but I dropped the last part when I turned eighteen.” Luca flips another page over, glancing down quickly before he returns his gaze to yours. 

“My mum had me when she was pretty young. Got a bit of the short end of the stick when my dad left her and me. I was… three or four maybe? A real tosser, if you ask me.”

“Woah,” you sound on an exhale, as you listen. 

“Yeah,” he scoffs, before continuing. 

“He got another woman pregnant. Moved back to Italy instead of staying here with us. Apparently I’ve got a sister, out there… somewhere.”

You wait a beat before asking:

“And he never tried to keep in touch?”

“He tried,” Luca admits, a hint of bitterness in the way the words come out. “But I was a really angry kid. And as I grew older, I just didn’t see the point.”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, empathetically. 

“No it’s-, I dunno,” Luca shrugs. “I much rather put my energy into my relationship with my mum. We’re actually quite close.” 

“Yeah?” you ask with a smile, because it really is the most darling thing you’ve ever heard. 

“Yeah,” he answers, leaning in to show you the larger forearm piece he has on his left arm. “I got this tattoo for her. She was a nurse… for most of my childhood. It’s what she had to do, so she worked a lot. I had a lot of time on my hands, perhaps why I got into so much trouble as a kid. Really put her through it till I started working in the kitchen.”

“You little rebel, you,” you tease him, with a giggle. Turning your attention back to your stovetop, you remove the lid and the pan for its heat source, before turning off the stove entirely. Giggling again you add, “You know, I’m just trying to picture it. 

“Oh, I’m sure I have a few old photos around my flat somewhere,” Luca laughs, as if it’s a promise that he’ll show you someday.

“Your mom sounds like a badass,” you sigh, making your way around your small kitchen island so that you’re standing right in front of him. 

“So does yours,” he replies, reaching for your hands. 

As your eyes take in the ink that adorns his hands and his arms, you drag your fingertips across the little designs: the A, the scotch bonnet, the nurse tattoo he got for his mother. 

“And I like them… your tattoos,” you finally say, breaking the momentary silence between the two of you. 

“Oh yeah?” he smirks, his eyes catching yours as you look up at him. 

“Yesssss. They are… very sexy,” you smirk in return, biting down on your lower lip as you run your fingertips along his inked forearms. 

“Glad you like ‘em. They’re permanent,” he preens, showing off cheekily

“Oh shut up,” you tease him as you place the gentlest peck against his full lips. 

He chuckles, pulling you in for another kiss, this time deepening it. 

As Luca kisses you, your mind wanders to his choice of words. 

Permanent. 

Of course it’s too freaking soon to think anything else of it other than this: 

If it were up to him, Luca’s not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. 

-------------------------------

As the morning light trickles in through your bedroom window, it dawns on you that you are not alone. You blink your eyes open, taking in the image of the gorgeous man that lays beside you. 

The one who you ate dumplings with on your couch in the early hours of the morning. The one that fell asleep with you in your bed last night, because there was no way in hell you were letting him walk home at 4 am. The one who's making your heart race and your head spin and who reminds you that there is romance in this world. 

Yep, that one. 

You slip out of bed, careful not to wake him as you get up to pee, the massive headache a result of far too many drinks consumed last night. You tiptoe into your kitchen, filling up your glasses from last night with fresh water before heading back to the bedroom. 

“Good idea,” Luca says, as he notices the glasses of water you return with. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you ask. 

He shakes his head, “It’s alright.”

“Figured they’d be helpful considering neither of us are 21 any more,” you joke in reference to the water, as Luca sits up in your bed. 

Handing him his glass, he happily takes it before taking a few greedy sips of water. It’s a silent exchange: he hands you the water glass and you place it back on your bedside table before crawling back into bed with him. 

The way you fit curled up against his side feels better than you imagined as he wraps an arm around your shoulders, whispering a soft ‘good morning.’ 

“Morning,” you reply softly. 

You’re not sure how long you lay there, or how long it takes, or who makes the first move, but one minute you’re peacefully snuggled up to Luca’s side, and the next, he’s all over you, rolling you over onto your back as he presses hot kisses to your mouth, to your neck, his hands snaking underneath your favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt as you sigh out his name. 

“Luca.”

“Yes, love?”

You repeat your plea from last night – now that neither of you are intoxicated. 

“Touch me.” 

No longer hesitant, Luca grabs at your breasts, his face buried in your neck as he sucks, kisses, leaves love bites all over you as you arch your chest up into his hands. Large hands cover each breast and you moan as you feel his thumbs graze your nipples, your breathing becoming heavier with each touch. 

“God, you’re incredible,” he murmurs into your skin, one hand making its way down your body at a smooth, slow pace. His fingers play with the waistband of your panties, and he knows that he’s got you in the palm of his hand as you’re more than impatient for him to continue his exploration. 

“May I?” he asks cooly.

You let out a frustrated moan, anticipating his touch like your life depends on it. 

“Please,” you beg, a desperateness in your voice that you’re unfamiliar with. 

“Well when you ask so nicely,” Luca smirks, cockily. 

You wish you had it in you to roll your eyes, to shake your head, to tell him to shut it, but as soon as his fingers slip into your panties, your mind goes blank. He sighs softly at the feel of you, then puts all of his energy into sliding your panties down your legs, the wet heat of you already slick with desire for him. 

“My god,” he groans, as soon as his fingers find the wetness that’s pooled between your legs. “This all for me?” 

And you don’t even have it in you to reply, letting out a loud, keening moan as his fingers slide through your folds, parting them as he explores new territory. They move up a few inches, dragging your wetness up and down your core, expertly finding your clit as you hiss in pleasure. 

“What do you think?” you bite back, letting out another moan. 

Luca smirks, watching as you writhe underneath him, enjoying the way you look at his mercy. 

“I think,” he begins, his fingers rubbing circles around your clit, earning a gasp from your mouth. “I know. That this is all for me.”

“Fuck!” you cry out as Luca pushes his index finger into you. 

The way you feel stretching around his finger elicits a moan from him too this time. 

“You’re so tight, love,” he groans, as if he’s getting off to the idea of you. 

You fall into a haze as Luca begins to fuck you with his finger. One. Then two. And before you know it, he’s moving at a rapid pace, his fingers buried deep inside of you, hitting that spongy spot inside of you that has you calling out his name while his thumb comes up to pay close attention to your clit once again. You’re on the edge, ready to come undone, the coil that’s building in your belly ready to burst. 

It’s all Luca, and fuck, and I’m so close, and yes right there, are met with groans of your name, eyes that look at you like you’re a work of art, and hands that are intent on bringing you to your climax. 

“I want to see you fall apart, love,” Luca commands, his voice low and raspy. 

And that’s all it takes for you to cum around his fingers while they work you through your climax so beautifully. You cry out his name, your eyes snapped shut as you experience one of the best orgasms you’ve had in a long time. 

“Holy shit,” you pant, trying your best to catch your breath as you come down. 

You whimper at the loss of him as he slides his fingers out of you, both hands come up to your torso as he kisses you passionately, deeply, breathlessly. 

“C’mon,” he says as he pulls away from the searing kiss, knowing that he is fully in control here. 

“Let’s get you some breakfast.”

-------------------------------

a/n: IS EVERYONE DOING OK BC WOW THE SEXUAL TENSION

#chef luca #will poulter #luca the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear headcanon #luca x reader #the bear hulu #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #chef luca x reader #pastry chef luca #burn your life down

[ms-fade]

Kaz covers the readers mouth to keep her quiet so the other crows don’t hear

Behind closed doors

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader 18+ Drabble

Man this was kinda shit so I apologize hun! Had a idea then it changed.

Warnings: Teasing, trying to stay hidden, honestly no clue what to put.

You hated keep secrets from your friends, it wasn’t like they shared everything but this was a dirty secret. How he would touch you behind closed doors, secretly touching you under the table without them knowing. The crows were your family and it wasn’t easy to keep it a secret.

But when he called, you flew to his feet.

And you wanted to tell them but he wasn’t sure of telling them just yet. Of course that didn’t stop him from looking at you every chance he got, he was not as subtle as he thought he was. But they had no clue because it was just his cold stare, nothing more to it.

Behind the closed locked door you sat on his desk as he stood between your legs, your skirt ruffled up by his hands. You moans against his lips as he grinds against you, it was a intoxicating feeling. How you could feel his hard cock through his leather pants, you could tell he must have a little pain from the tightness.

“You’re torture.” He whispered as he took your lower lip between his teeth. You sighed and grabbed ahold of his arms that were placed on your hips. He smirked and let go of your lip and put his head to your neck.

“I was doing my job, you just had to come and pull me away. But you just don’t like to admit that you constantly want me, so needy.” You teased and he chuckled against your skin. Then his teeth nibbled the soft skin trying not to make a mark but he didn’t really caring at the moment.

“Just because you bend over my table, you know you wanted to get my attention. You do it all the time.” He stated and pushed you back so you were spread over his table. “Lucky for you, I like giving you my attention.” His fingers trailed down your body and rested themselves on your thighs.

“I’m very lucky.” You hummed with excitement. He looked into your eyes and gave his famous smirk as he pulled down your undergarments. He softly ran his fingers up your pussy lips and you let out a small gasp at the feeling.

He focused on rubbing your hole for a minute as he watched just how much you begged to be filled up. When he felt it was enough teasing he shoved a finger in you and slowly moved in and out. His ears enjoyed the sound of your whines as he pleased you, he could even hear the noise coming from your pussy.

“Kaz, please. Need you in me, but the others are going to notice I’m gone.” You pulled on his vest and looked up at him with pleading eyes. Your hands moved down to his pants and yanked them to show him how much you wanted him. He wanted to have you as long as he could but he knew you were right, so he’d just have to make this one quick.

A moment after, he was already deep within in you, his deck hitting the wall as he thrusted his hips. You held onto him and wrapped your legs around him to try and get him as close as you could. Listening to his low grunts was adding to the feeling your stomach, you couldn’t get enough of him.

“Boss, you in there?” The loud banging noise startled the couple and they snapped their heads to the door. “Y/n is missing. She was supposed to go get the boxes of whiskey and the bars running low. I’m afraid the bartender is going to kill her.” Jesper said as loud as he could.

Kaz looked over at you and how you seemed to tighten around him, you looked so panicked and he found it adorable. He was going to enjoy this. He thrusted his hips up and covered your mouth quickly as your eyes widened and moans slipping out

.

“Have you checked the back?” Kaz yelled over the door. “Of course we did, I checked everywhere and it’s getting packed.” Jesper sighed. You shook your head as you tried to get him to stop moving because you felt like you were being to loud.

Kaz slammed into you all the way and you squealed against his hand but it didn’t stop the sound. Jesper heard it but couldn’t make out what it was, “You okay boss?” He asked as he didn’t hear a response from kaz. You look up at him as his jaw tensed up.

“Just, go look for her outside because she sometimes needs a break. Now leave, I’m not in the mood.” He yelled and you could hear the aggression in his voice. He waited a moment and then let go of your mouth and you huffed.

“What the hell? That was too close.” He didn’t even care because he did enjoy the excitement of it. “Maybe you need to learn how to be quiet.” His cock moving again and you shoved your hand in your mouth. You glared at him and tried to not give into him but it wasn’t working, it just felt to fucking good.

Jesper walked down the stairs as Inej looked at him, Nina right beside her with a smirk on her lips. “He doesn’t know where she is.” He put his hands on his hips. Nina laughed, “He definitely knows, can’t believe he’s doing it right now.” She giggled and inej groaned.

“They still think we don’t know?” She leaned back and Jesper nodded. “They can’t keep it hidden, and I’m surprised it’s more kaz then her.” Nine agreed with him and took a swig of her drink.

“I for one love having this leverage over them.”

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader smut #kaz brekker #kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone

[futurecorps3]

Hi!! I would like to request Kaz x f!reader

I’m so sorry that this is so long and if this isn’t making any sense I can’t explain things for the life of me😭 If you do write this, thank you so much, ily :)

Anyway picture this, a reader who is quite sneaky decides that it would be very funny if she snuck a little note with something like „I live for the way you smile so brightly” into Kaz’s coat when he’s not looking. She manages and when Kaz doesn’t bring it up at all, she sneaks another note in. This continues bcs the reader just thinks Kaz is ignoring it and automatically throwing out the notes without reading them or smth. Over the time the notes get a little bit more brave like „you looked very pretty today, Brekker” and become genuine copmliments. Now i have two ideas how could the ending go. Kaz just casually mentions in a conversations with reader the sweet notes which reader is completely shocked by Or reader finds themselfs curiosly looking around Kaz’s office and stumbles upon a little box on his table. Thinking it’s gonna be some kind of jewelry she opens it and sees ALL the notes she snuck into his coat. But uhoh Kaz steps into the office and his eyes widen when he sees reader standing over the box. Reader gets flustered trying to explain what the fuck was she even doing there but is greeted by Kaz’s silence. He’s embarrased about her now knowing that he has been keeping the little notes since the very beginning ijsksjdks istg I’m going insane

𝐒𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲

Masterlist<3

Summary: The one where Y/N thinks she's being sneaky. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Warnings: None I think!! Word Count: 2.3K Requested: Yes

A/N: YES YES YES YES I LOVE THIS!!!! I wanted to use the one where he mentions it casually in a conversation but it all led to reader finding out by accident. Tysm nonnie, enjoy, I'm sorry about the huge delay. Tough couple of months, hope u understand and that I did justice to this beautiful prompt, ily2 <3

˚ · • . ° .

It all started as some stupid game. One only Y/N knew about. Everything about it was very silly, the sneaking around, coming up with what the note would say and when to put it inside his coat's pocket. The first time, the girl snuck the neatly folded paper when he excused himself to go to the restroom and left his jacket behind. Easy.

It read 'Your smile lights up the room, Brekker'. Cheesy, untrue and quite simple. She'd bet all her kruge on it, though. That bastard had a wickedly expressive smirk, so his full smile must be as sentimental as his smirk, right? Maybe her note would make him giggle in the confines of his office, maybe Kaz would burn the paper or toss it in the trashcan he so neatly kept under his desk. Truth is, Y/N didn't have an explanation or reason as to why she started all this nonsense.

The prospect of making Kaz angry or laugh even when she wouldn't witness it was probably it. The girl happened to be a sucker for the adrenaline rush of delivering her teasingly sweet notes, too. She got bolder and more creative, even getting the chance to sneak one during a job where she and Kaz had to pair up.

None of the crows knew except for Jesper, and surprisingly, he didn't tease her about it. When he caught her tucking a little pink piece of paper into the inner pocket of his boss' coat, he scoffed with a little smile and downed his whiskey glass.

"What on earth does it say and... why?" Jes smirked as Y/N returned to her seat next to him. "Not relevant, my friend. Don't snitch," "I could never, love." He laughed at his friend's eccentricities and let it slide. Another little secret shared between them wouldn't hurt nobody. Plus, her favorite sharpshooter had plenty to say when he was there to see Kaz discover the notes.

"I'm telling you, he smiled!" "Jesper, I don't care if he did," the girl giggled. She did. She cared a lot. "Kaz Brekker doesn't smile" "He did that weird upside down frown, not quite a smile, but he wasn't exactly displeased." Y/N had to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks by turning around, downing her glass of scotch. Had she really made Kaz smile? Or, somewhat, change that angry expression he seemed to keep, like it was carved carefully and perpetually on the sharp features of his face? There has to be an award to that, she thinks.

That note she remembered; there was a playful banter happening like many times before at the slat between the crows. They were all sitting down at one of the tables after a long day of kicking out pigeons upset because they lost all their money, drinks and giggles shared in a tired, dazed stupor.

"There is no way we could've made it without him. I mean, imagine me trying to carry Nina's dead-weight down two flights of stairs and out of that house." Y/N laughed as they recalled how useful Matthias turned out to be. "He's my favorite" Nina smiled, kissing the Fjerdan's cheek as he smiled proudly with a light red tint on his face (could be from the alcohol but they all knew his girlfriend made him nervous).

"And Inej, dear, I know I'm yours" the grisha teased her friend, pulling her close as the Suli girl smiled, not confirming or denying the allegations. Then Wylan, a bit tipsy and, for some reason defensive, hugged his boyfriend and declared: "Well, Jesper's my favorite," downing his glass. Jesper pulled it aside, pecking his head lovingly. "Inej's mine".

Wylan perked up from his place in Jes' arms with his mouth agape, making everyone break in laughter as the couple argued, their demo-man leaving the table with his boyfriend chasing after him trying not to laugh "Wait, dear I-I'm joking!" "No you were not! Take the couch". After they all calmed down, Matthias finally spoke. "Demjin, tell us, who's your favorite?".

Theatrical silence fell over the group. Kaz's heart sped up a little and Nina could tell, but said nothing. Then, as he scanned the group with a light smirk and his eyes lingered on Y/N for a minute longer, it sped up even more to then recede. "Oh, I know," the heartrender laughed, grabbing her glass to pour more alcohol on it. "You don't, Nina. I don't have favorites. You're all pretty solid assets," he said, voice deep and Y/N wondered how it would sound whispered in her ear.

"That's the closest we're getting to an 'I love you', guys. Hate to break it to you" Inej joked as everyone agreed. After a few more minutes, too tired to keep going, they all went to bed. Kaz woke up the next day to a note on his doorstep that said 'you're my favorite'. It was a bit different from the others he kept in his office. The letter was cursive, written in a rush on a slightly yellow piece of paper. Black ink.

"You plan on ever telling her?" A voice came from his side. Jesper stood, still in his white sleep shirt and trousers. "No one makes you smile. You should tell her, you know, at least." He was greeted by his boss's silence and the sound of his door closing.

Now, of course he knew. In fact, he figured it out after the fourth note or so, but Y/N didn't need to know that. Selfishly, he had been keeping that weird aching in his chest the girl brought all to himself for almost a year and it was getting tiring. Until he figured it out. He just hoped, to anyone who was willing to listen, that the notes weren't some joke for her.

He hoped that all those nights they spent enjoying the silence, the conversations where he'd let the wounded boy talk instead of the bastard of the barrel and she would listen attentively, almost lovingly, meant something to her. And that the notes were her way of saying 'I'm here and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon'.

Y/N knew the game she came up with ended up being a breath of fresh air for all the compressed feelings she had for the boy. She had no problem with it. In the end, she was telling him every single thought that crossed her mind when those icy blue eyes turned into warmth when they were alone and he let his guard down. The things she knew she'd never say to Kaz's face.

Or so she thought.

It was a big coincidence, like a butterfly effect. Y/N came back from one of her many investigations (a trip to the Geldstraat to gather some information) and was walking up the stairs to Kaz's office to tell him what he found out. "Turns out you were right, he has two kids" she began, entering to an empty room. She should've left, see if he was in his room or downstairs watching the tables. Yet she didn't leave. Instead, with a heavy sigh, she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

It gave off more of the energy from a studio rather than an office. He seemed to appreciate neatness, from the bookshelves with books arranged alphabetically to the candles placed in the appropriate places so the room could be lit perfectly at night. So, of course, she was going to notice the rectangular red box sitting messily on top of a stack of papers right in front of her.

Again, would've, could've, should've stayed in the chair. She got up and peeked. A shock ran through her body, suddenly feeling so very cold she almost turned to see if the window was open. There sat all of her notes, some a bit more used, probably from him folding and unfolding them several times. At the top was the one she sneaked just that morning; "I sometimes wonder if you think about me just as much as I do. Probably not. Have a good day, though".

A million questions running through her head. Why was he keeping them? Did he know she sent them? And most importantly, why was she so stupid!? Y/N could've just... not! Just not write those stupid notes like she had some stupid teenage crush on stupid Kaz and keep her stupid feelings to her stupid self. But no. She always had to be too much, huh? Her words and emotions spilled out of her like a river. The thing was so big it showed over her wrist.

The creek of the door. She was so inside her head she didn't hear Kaz's steps. Shit. Shit. Shit. Hoping it was her imagination playing tricks on her, she turned around. Hope died and there stood Kaz Brekker, wide-eyed and pale as a corpse. She felt like she had to say something and saints she tried, but the knot on her throat only let a choked, unintelligible sound.

It could've been hours, really. Both of them just stared at each other. Kaz was so unbelievably embarrassed he wanted to ask Jesper to just shoot him in the head to end his suffering, begging on his knees for someone to come and help him. He was never this careless, not with things like the notes. He left them out, going through them for the fourth time that week, to get a drink downstairs. How did he miss Y/N walking through the door?

"Kaz I was just here t-to uhm tell you what I found out on G-Garson. I promise I didn't mean to snoop around l-like I wasn't looking through your stuff. A-anyway who a-are these from? They're very swe-" "You don't have to pretend, Y/N."

He knew. A new dread consumed her, and she dropped her eyes to the floor as quick as humanely possible. So stupid. So stupid. "So stupid" "What?" said Kaz, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was keeping in "I'm so stupid, I'm sorry, Kaz. I-I don't know why I wrote those". Was she truly apologising to him, her head bowed in shame? For what? He looked forward to discovering one of those sweet little notes every day, wondering what kind of message she had left him this time.

Hope. He remembered the hope. Maybe he was this upset because the notes would stop now that she knew he knew? His eyes widened even more when he realized Y/N was standing right in front of him, waiting for Kaz to step out of the way so she could escape this torture. "You're right. You shouldn't have. Y-you should've just told me"

"Tell you what, Kaz?" the girl asked, taking a step back and looking straight into his eyes like he was doing. Kaz Rietveld spoke before Brekker could. "Tell me I am your favorite, that I'm on your thoughts nonstop every single fucking day, and that you consider I look lovely even with my hair in my face. If it is true, tell me right up front. I don't think I could stomach it being some crazy game, so please tell me it is real." Perplexed, she stared.

Kaz wanted it to be real, and she knew damn well it was. "You know I don't like games, Brekker. I mean it. All of it. Every single word is just me trying to catch my name in a whisper in your reactions... counting on making you smile, or at least, to temporarily jolt your thoughts from the generally dreary state they seem to be in."

He led a leather hand to grab hers, tangling their fingers with his. The boy couldn't help but notice how beautiful her eyes looked under the candlelight, warm y/e/c welcoming him home. Making him feel at ease in that saint forsaken land, knowing that with her by his side, everything seemed to be just fine.

"Y/N, since you entered my life, I have been acquainted with a new kind of light. Your presence has brought a certain innocence and laughter that I have not known before. Your character is resilient, as if it has been shaped by the hardships of this city. In my eyes, you are the embodiment of light, and I cannot help but find you lovely at all times, too"

It was a love that defied all logic and reasoning, a love that transcended the boundaries of time and space. They had each found in the other a place of serenity, a sanctuary where they could be themselves and forget the chaos of the world outside. With every passing day, their bond grew stronger, until a little piece of heaven was crafted, right there in their midst.

It was their own personal heaven, a place where they could bask in the warmth of knowing glances and brief touches, and where the mere presence of the other was enough to soothe their souls. They had found a love that whispered "I'm here" in the moments when it was necessary, a love that made a home for a broken boy and a shelter for a scarred girl who would go to the ends of the earth for him.

And as they stood there, hand in hand, they knew that they had found something special. They had found a love that was strong enough to weather any storm, a love that would see them through the trials and tribulations of life.

Together with time, they had created a world that was perfect in its imperfection, a world that was full of love, laughter, and joy. And as they gazed into each other's eyes, they knew that they had found their own personal piece of heaven on earth.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:)

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #grishaverse x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone #six of crows fanfic #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker oneshot #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker fanfic

[jazzythursday]

Jesper doesn't understand how he holds it all in there. Wylan’s brain is like a squirrel. Packing nuts into expanding pockets for the long winter. He knows everything.

He lights up with it. Like he constantly wants to share the fruit of his labour. Like the knowledge he collects needs to be poured out in bits before it overflows. He talks and explains and it’s fast and free and it’s so Wylan, through and through— and then it’s like he catches himself. Like he dims once he realises what he’s done.

Jesper doesn’t want to think of the implications of that look. Because it makes his chest tight and puts a bad taste in his mouth. He’s happy to reassure Wylan that he likes when he talks as much as it takes for him to believe it.

But that look— right before. Like he’s so happy to be telling him, like he’s happy to be listened to. Then the split second of frozen fear. The pinched lips, tense jaw, widening and then squinting of those big, big eyes. The part where he huffs that short, horribly self deprecating little laugh. The part where he looks down, and when he looks back up there’s something stiff in his smile, false in the upturn of his lips. Eyes like cut glass shining in the light. The crest of an eagle, mid flight, shot down. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Um— I’m probably boring you. I’ll stop.”

You could never bore me, he thinks. Keep talking forever, he thinks. Tell me who made you think your words weren't worth anything to anyone so I can make them taste the blood on their own tongue.

Wylan and boring are not two words that Jesper can even fathom placing in the same sentence. Wylan is like lightning in a bottle. Like a spark personified.

Jesper isn’t sure how much he’ll accept. He doesn’t want a repeat of Shu Han if he can help it. Jesper hates disappointing people, hates being anything other than exactly what they want— expect— out of a good time with Jesper Fahey. He isn’t sure what he’s allowed to argue for or against when it comes to Wylan. What they have— This thing between them— is still so terrifyingly new.

He’ll put himself out there for this, though, as much as he dares, to make sure Wylan knows that he’s listening.

#wesper #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #jesper fehey #six of crows #shadow & bone #crooked kingdom #drabble #wesper drabble #shadow and bone fanfiction #wesper fanfic #Jazzy writes #jazzy writes fanfic #taking a break from my Wylan wip to bring you a Jesper pov about Wylan #I'll probabably turn this isnto something bigger later but for now this is what it is #a drabble for your troubles?

[targaryenluvs]

Kaz x Jesper x reader that doesn’t like being touched for long periods of time

Baby Steps

kaz x fem!reader x jesper

warnings: touch aversion, comfort?

a/n: i didn’t really know how to put this into a story so i decided to do headcannons, im sorry if this isn’t what you had in mind!

- There would be so much understanding from both of them in my opinion.

- Since Kaz himself has a strong aversion to touch he wouldn’t even be approaching you with touch anyway.

- Kaz would 100% be dumbfounded.

- He’d never encountered someone who shared his condition and he’d silently appreciate the fact that you’d never expect him to work on his aversion in order to be with you. That you’d never pressure him into anything or expect a lot in terms of physical intimacy.

- But you both shared the frustrations.

- When the other person is looking absolutely gorgeous beyond words and all you want to do is hug them, to play with their hair, kiss them etc. Having a hollow feeling inside when Jesper would be so overly affectionate when around everyone else but feel like he had to change how he acted when it came to the two of you.

- You never wanted him to change. Neither did Kaz. As much as he acts as if Jespers over the top self annoyed him, he more so envied him. Jesper never has to worry, he doesn’t need stupid gloves every day to keep him calm. He can drink and eat anything without feeling like the world is crushing down on him.

- He doesn’t look in the mirror and loathe.

- But what he hates most of all is that he can touch you. And Kaz can’t.

- You hadn’t had a traumatic background that had scarred you to the point of aversion and panic attacks.

- At times touch just became too much. Your senses would feel as if they were on fire. Like anything touching you felt as if bugs were crawling all over you. You could handle smaller things in smaller batches.

- It was nowhere near as intense as Kaz but it happened usually during the day. You’d be holding hands with Jesper and you’d suddenly drop his hand and walk with distance between the two of you.

- During the start of your relationship you hadn’t told either of them.

- So imagine Jespers surprise when you swatted his hand away whilst the three of you were in Kaz’s office.

-

“What was that for!” Jesper yelled as he cradled his hand. You frowned, “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” Jesper tilted his head, “Is this for eating your chicken last night? I am sorry you know, but it smelt, amazing.” He dragged out.

“No that’s- you ate my food? I blamed Matthias! Poor guy was as red as the blood on Kaz’s cane.”

Kaz glimpsed down at his cane, he cleaned it everyday, not a speck of blood, poor analogy.

“It’s just, sometimes when I’m being touched, I have to pull away. I don’t know how to explain it but I just, sometimes it’s too much and I can’t handle it. I’m sorry if that disappoints you-”

“Don’t apologise for it. I don’t.”

You smiled gratefully at Kaz as he made eye contact with you. Jesper rested his hand by yours on the desk, “You don’t have to force anything. If you feel like pulling away, pull away. Thank you for telling us, I promise you don’t have to. Not like Kaz makes any effort to touch me, it’s been a long time.”

“Say one more word and I’ll tell her about Milo.”

Jesper gasped as he brought his hand to his heart, “I’m proud of Milo. Whatever makes you think I wouldn’t tell anyone about my baby?”

“Who’s Milo?”

“Milo is Jes’s-”

Jesper shot up from his seat and pointed accusingly at Kaz.

“Don’t you dare!”

-

As frustrating it was for Jesper to have not one, but two partners with aversions he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

He loved you both and you’d work on your barriers together,

Baby Steps.

#kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fluff #kaz and jesper #jesper x reader #jesper fahey x reader #shadow and bone x reader

[luna-writes-stuff]

Unforgiven II, Kaz Brekker

Song link

Fanfic, female! reader

Angst, but a with a tiny sprinkle of fluff

Word count:

Tw: typical soc stuff, explosions, blood/injuries, description of drowning/recovering from drowning., description of dizziness/losing consciousness, Kaz is fighting demons to save your life, Nina doing heartrender things, Kaz nearly crying, use of Y/N (I deserve hell)

Summary: You have been friends with Kaz for as long as either of you can remember. Even before all the “Ketterdam is my mother” talk and trauma. So when you get caught up in an explosion during a heist, Kaz loses his shit. He becomes an anxious wreck, doing his best to get you out of danger. And in order to do so, he has to make certain sacrifices for himself.

No - this is not a pt. 2 to anything. The song is called Unforgiven II. This fic is based off of a song.

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“Lay beside me and tell me what they've done.

And speak the words I wanna hear to make my demons run.”

“Kaz, come on!” You ushered, running towards docks, Kaz short on your heels, though his pace slowed with every step he took. You knew his leg was bothering him, but at the moment, you needed to get out of this place.

It had been your casual “let’s steal something and get money for it” heist. Everything had gone exactly according to plan. Wylan’s bomb went off at time, Inej got the necklace without being noticed, Jesper was a great distraction, Matthias had been on look-out as Nina had joined Jesper in being decoy. You and Kaz had been making sure the rendezvous point remained safe. You had been in Dime Lion territory, so the risk of being caught was great. Yet, there had been no issues. That was until Jesper, not so subtly, managed to sneak a look towards you and Kaz, alerting others of your location.

So now you and Kaz were on the run. Trying to get away without getting injured or being discovered of stealing things. It had been five minutes now and you knew Kaz’ leg would no longer hold up.

“The door is locked now but it's open if you're true.

If you can understand the me then I can understand the you.”

You spared another look behind you, noticing you were no longer being followed closely. You halted your steps, simultaneously causing Kaz to stop too.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, obviously supporting all his weight on his cane.

“Where did they go?” You wondered aloud, referring to the gang members that had been so set on catching you earlier.

Now Kaz looked behind him too, noticing the empty streets.

“Something isn’t right.” He noted, making you nod in agreement.

“Lay beside me, under wicked sky.

Through black of day, dark of night, we share this, paralyzed.”

“We should keep moving, just to be safe.” You decided, now setting a normal walking pace, trying to give Kaz the opportunity to recover. As you walked past the crates and empty ships, something weird suddenly occurred to you.

“You hear that?” You whispered, holding a hand out towards Kaz to stop him.

“Hear what?” He questioned, now keeping his ears open.

“Sizzling.” You observed. “Like firework being lit.”

At those words, Kaz’ eyes widened. He looked around to find the source of the sound, but he could not bring himself to locate it.

“The door cracks open but there's no sun shining through.

Black heart scarring darker still but there's no sun shining through.

No there's no sun shining through, no there's no sun shining.”

“Bomb.” He managed out, before grabbing the loose fabric of your sleeve, tugging you with him as he ran.

You followed suit quickly, the danger of not knowing where the bomb was, making your adrenaline race. You released your sleeve from Kaz’ hold, running behind him to make sure you could drag him with you in case he’d slow down again.

In the distance, you could see the rest of the crows waiting, but they had yet to notice you and Kaz. No Dime Lions were spotted near them yet, which had been a relative good sign.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

Turn the pages, turn the stone.

Behind the door, should I open it for you?”

“Kaz, turn around!” You warned. The sound of the walking fire seemed nearer than before, alerting you of the fact you were running in the wrong direction.

“We’re only nearing it!” You explained without hesitation.

Kaz spared you a quick nod, before running along the coastline, no longer running away from the shores. You followed his every step. Your breath had started to appear colder than before, your shirt uncomfortably clinging to your back, but you knew you’d catch your breath later. Stopping now might only increase the chances of becoming injured.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

Sick and tired I stand alone.

Could you be there?

'Cause I'm the one who waits for you.

Or are you unforgiven too?”

Your attempt for cover came too late; before either of you could properly process it, a big explosion ignited only a few feet from you. You could have counted yourself lucky for not being too close to it, not having received any burning flesh. The force of the explosion - however - was something you couldn’t escape.

Before you could even realise what was happening, you were flying through the air, rocketing towards the shore lines in an inhumane speed. You could only briefly register Kaz’ body on the floor before the ice cold temperature ran over you.

Your body impacted on top the water, the weight with the added speed rapidly pulling you under. You weren’t on time for any of it. When you had already fallen, it still felt like you were flying, and when you were flying, you hadn’t even properly heard the explosion. It all happened with the blink of an eye.

“Come lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear.

She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again.”

When you finally realised you had been submerged in the freezing canal waters, you had to force your body to work again. Your limbs felt heavy, whilst your head felt lighter than it even been. An unknown weight settled on your waist as you were pushed further down.

Looking down at it, you were faced with a huge piece of wood, tearing a hole in your coat as it forced you down. In blind panic, you reached down, trying to get the wood from the coat. But the longer you fought it, the deeper you sank, and the more pressure build in your ears.

You weren’t going to go down like this - sinking because of a heist gone wrong. No, you were meant to go out in a tub of money, rolling in the debts of your enemies.

The looming threat of imminent death and hopeless made your efforts worsen, your brain cloudy, unable to think straight as you kept tugging on the coat.

“She lay beside me but she'll be there when I'm gone.

Black hearts scarring darker still, yes, she'll be there when I'm gone.

Yes, she’ll be there when I'm gone. Dead sure she'll be there?”

On the coast line, Kaz had recovered from the blow, seemingly fine, save for a handful of bruises and a loud ringing in his ears. The crows had neared him, Jesper and Inej immediately working to keep the Dime Lions at a distance. Nina looked over the edge, still seeing the waves of where you had fallen earlier.

“Shit,” she cursed, before clumsily fumbling with the ends of her dress. Wylan and Matthias looked at her in a mixture of confusion and embarrassment. She didn’t seem to notice.

For Kaz, it felt like time had frozen. You had been with him ever since you were children. You’ve known him before Ketterdam - before Dirthands. And now you were sinking to the bottom of the canal, left to your fate in a lonesome embrace.

He had lost everything he had, and always associated it with the freezing temperatures of the lakes. He remember the chilling air, the cold water and the hard bodies of the people who had died due to illness. He remembered how he fought back until he had returned to Ketterdam. To look for you.

And now he’d lose you to those same damned waters.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

Turn the pages, turn the stone.

Behind the door, should I open it for you?”

Nina took too long. Wylan and Matthias might not have noticed, but he did. A thousand thoughts and fears were swirling his mind, but there was one that stood out the most.

He was losing you.

The thought seemed so hopeless and bitter, but it was the truth. He could stand there and think about everything that had happened to him, or he could act on it. He could wait for Nina to finally get that cursed dress off, or he could jump in himself and hope his body wouldn’t fail him.

You still hadn’t resurfaced.

Swinging his coat from his shoulders quickly, he dropped the cane to the floor, before diving into the waters, not even giving him a second to think everything through.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

Sick and tired, I stand alone.

Could you be there?

'Cause I'm the one who waits for you.

Or are you unforgiven too?”

The water was more horrible than he had remembered. The cold was gnawing at his skin, the familiarity of it cutting him where it hurt most.

This is where you lost him, Kaz. You lost yourself.

In front of him, a body passed him, the face almost an exact replica of his older brother, save for the swollen structures of his face. The sight frightened him. Almost automatically, he reached out, but the figure faded in front of him.

This wasn’t real. He wasn’t there.

He needed to get out. He couldn’t get any air to begin with, but the capacity his lungs had held had started to fail him. There were too many reminders of what went wrong. This was a terrible idea.

“Lay beside me, tell me what I've done.

The door is closed so are your eyes.

But now I see the sun, now I see the sun.

Yes, now I see it.”

He had to go back up. He wouldn’t make it if he didn’t. But then, as if fate had somehow still been smiling upon his that day, a hand came into his vision. He couldn’t see it really well - everything was blurry. But this hand wasn’t swollen. And it seemed real.

Spending his last few seconds, he tugged on the arm, surprised by the sudden weight of it. When he looked down, he found the culprit hanging from your coat, your other hand still entangled at the hole.

Without a second of hesitation, he shrugged the coat off of you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he swam back up.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

Turn the pages, turn the stone.

Behind the door, should I open it for you?”

It was disgusting; the cold temperature, your limp body, the inability to breathe. It was too much. He couldn’t help but fight for his hold on you as he forced you up. His leg had been screaming at him to stop to begin with, but with your body in his arms, a whole new level of revolting coursed through him.

This was so wrong. He should never have had to hold anyone’s body to drag out of the sea again. This was cruel, even considering all that he had been through. There was some sick irony here that he hated. He knew Pekka would be laughing at it.

You didn’t make any effort to help him. He had no way of telling whether he had been dragging a dead body back up or not. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about anything. He just needed to get back up.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

So sick and tired, I stand alone.

Could you be there?

'Cause I'm the one who waits,

The one who waits for you.”

When he finally resurfaced, a huge gasp of air came from him, taking in all oxygen he could.

“Kaz!” Nina called, leaning over the docks with Matthias, reaching out for him and you. They could see the sheer panic and terror on his face. The boy swam towards the pair, handing you over to Matthias, who easily pulled you out. Nina immediately began to work on getting the water out of you, leaving her boyfriend to help Kaz get out, much to his reluctance.

He could still feel the cold touch, the unmistakable feeling of a hardened figure. He recognised it. And the second his feet met solid ground again, he fell down, breathing heavily, dragging his knees across the dock to reach you.

He could hear Nina mutter assuring words under her breath - both to you and to herself. The way you simply laid there, not noticing the mayhem happening because of you. Something about it made everything worse for him.

He was not going to lose you. Not like this.

“What I've felt, what I've known.

Turn the pages, turn the stone.

Behind the door, should I open it for you? (So I dub thee unforgiven)”

A loud cough cut through the tense air as your chest suddenly began to move. Nina was quick to place you on your side, leaving you to cough out the remainder of water, inhaling the air greedily, tears making their way over your face. An obnoxious sigh of relief came from the heartrender as Kaz quietly copied her move.

He stood up at the sight of you getting rid of all the water in your lungs, the sight amplifying everything he had just experienced. Shakily, he accepted the cane from Wylan, using it to support his weight as he watched Nina kneel over you, trying to calm you down.

He needed to be the one to do that, to make you comfortable, even if he wasn’t. But he couldn’t. He was having a hard time keeping everything together in the moment. If it hadn’t been for his cane, he would’ve fallen straight back to the floor.

“What I've felt.

What I've known.

I'll take this key and I'll bury it in you.

Because you're unforgiven too.”

You watched him from your seat as you regained your breath, no more water coming from your mouth. The feeling in your stomach was still heavy, but you had no more need to cough everything back up.

You knew who had dragged you from the canal. You blacked out a moment after that gloved hand touched yours, but you knew who it was. You saw the way he was staring back at you, furiously blinking back tears, hoping no one had noticed. You saw the way his hands were clutching that cane as if his life depended on it. He didn’t want to be there.

But he had jumped into the canal after you had fallen in. He had dragged you from the bottom back up. He had gotten you onto the dock whilst he had sworn he would never get into touch with water if he could help it. And he might not have been able to place a comforting hand on your shoulder as Nina did, but you knew what he had done.

You just nodded at him, still in shock. Of the fall, or due to the fact Kaz dived in after you - you couldn’t tell. But when the boy nodded back, you knew it was enough.

You knew he’d do it over again if he had to.

“Never free, never me.

'Cause you're unforgiven too.”

#November writings 2023 #grishaverse #Kaz Brekker #kaz brekker x reader #Soc #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

[rheasesposts]

Idiots

kaz brekker x crows!female!reader

summary : Kaz and Y/N are in love and neither can admit it until Y/N is hurt.

——————————————————————————

“Why am I literally always the arm candy?” Y/N complained quietly to Jesper as she held his arm and smiled at passing by merchants. He looked down at her for a second then pulled her closer.

“Because you distract people with your beauty, love.” Jesper winked and grabbed her a champagne glass. She inhaled the liquid in one go. “And I think Kaz likes seeing you all dressed up.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jes.” Y/N murmured to the sharpshooter, and Jesper frowned. “He is in love with Inej, and I don’t blame him if he is.”

“You are so blind.” A familiar snarky voice stated behind the pair. Nina popped up next to them in a similar, revealing dress like Y/N, but her partner was Matthias. “He only has heart palpitations for you, my dear.”

“I only have heart palpitations for Inej.” Y/N claimed and shared an amused glance with Matthias over Nina’s extravagant curls. Nina huffed and kept moving along the dance floor with Matthias trailing like a lost puppy. “So, when do we leave?”

“When a shot is fired at the ceiling.” Jesper whispered and whipped out his gun to snipe the chandelier. Perfect hit. People began screaming as the glass decoration began falling towards the floor. Y/N and Jesper made their escape to a different part of the merchant’s house that held the jewels Kaz instructed them to carefully steal and replace with fakes. A guard rounded the corner, and Y/N impaled his chest with a dagger. Y/N quickly unlocked the door to the merchant’s office and dug around his stuff while Jesper kept watch at the door. “I see Nina and Matthias.”

Y/N merely hummed and placed a hand on a book that was too hollow for her liking. She opened it to find one of the jewels they needed. It went into her pocket, and the search resumed. A safe was in the corned of the vast space, and Y/N gravitated to it with her lock picking device. The safe breathed as it was released from the clutch of the lock, and Y/N started piling the jewels into her bust and boots.

“Matthias. The fakes, please.” Y/N called to him, and he stopped his staring at Nina to do as asked. Y/N stashed the fake jewels where they belonged in the safe and closed it swiftly then put the one jewel back in the hollow book. “Let’s go, ladies.” Jesper laughed maniacally before hurrying Y/N and Nina out with Matthias eying around to see any more guards.

Matthias was too slow to warn Y/N as he peered at a suspicious smoke coming out of a door before an explosion shook the place and blasted the four crows haphazardly across the hallway and into expensive glass and stone art pieces. Y/N got most of the hit, and Matthias quickly came to and scoured the haze for the girl. He found her with burn marks on her face and arms and a large knife in her side. “Nina!”

Jesper and Nina came running to where they heard Matthias shout, and Nina checked Y/N’s pulse, worried. Jesper looked at his watch and distantly heard marching footsteps. “We gotta go, or this will become worse.” Matthias cradled Y/N into his arms and stood with Nina and Jesper clearing the way to the exit. Her dress was torn up, and Matthias could see where she hid all the gems which was making him slightly uncomfortable, but he pushed through that to get Y/N to the Slat. The race there was excruciating since Matthias was concerned if Y/N was losing too much blood.

Inej was startled when the Slat door crashed open, and a basically wailing Nina came in and shoved all things off a long table. Inej caught sight of a limp figure in Matthias’s hold and her breath got lodged in her throat. “Kaz! Inej yelled.

“Set her down! Get me antiseptics and bandages.” Nina ordered Matthias and Jesper who both complied immediately to the heartrender. Inej ripped what was left of Y/N’s gown and jewels pooled out of the ripped material. Inej ignored that and briefly apologized to her dear friend before stripping the girl to only her undergarments so Nina could work effectively. Jesper and Matthias returned with Nina’s requested materials.

Nina poured the alcohol into the burns, and Y/N’s comatose state was dissolved, and her body jolted. Y/N began groaning and shaking. Inej’s eyes teared as she held her down. Matthias wrapped the burns after Nina cleaned them and did her best to patch them. Jesper focused on drinking the whiskey he stole from Kaz’s cabinet. Kaz had yet to come down because he didn’t want to see the girl he loved in such agony. Y/N’s voice became raspy from the screaming she was now doing.

A sharp pain erupted in her side as Nina pulled out the knife. “Please.” Is the word that fell from Y/N’s mouth. “No.” A weak hand grazed Inej’s forearm, and Inej gripped it in comfort. Nina ended her needed torture on the girl then wrapped up her last wound. “Nina.”

“Yes, yes?” Nina leant over her friend.

“I-“ Y/N cleared her throat with difficulty. “Bed.”

“Of course, yes your bed.” Matthias immediately swooped Y/N up carefully and trekked up the winding stairs of the Slat to Y/N’s room. She was placed on her bed, and Nina sat in the room to make sure all was well throughout the night.

Kaz gathered the courage to enter Y/N’s room and found a sleeping Nina and Y/N, one’s breathing more shallow than the other. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at Y/N’s face. So captivating. Inspiring. If he were an artist, he would never stop painting her til his last breath and finger shutter. If he were a writer, she would be the topic of every poem, book, journal entry. Anything and everything would be about her. But he wasn’t an artist, nor a writer. He was a bastard who didn’t deserve any sliver of attention this woman provided. She deserved to be painted and written about, not someone who couldn’t even love or treat her properly. His thoughts consumed like the flame of the wick on the candle next to Nina’s chair. He was sure Y/N was something he could never obtain. She was untouchable and pure, nothing a bastard earned.

Y/N jostled in her sleep, and Kaz froze in his spot with his cane held right. Her head lifted and she focused on Nina before looking to Kaz. He silently glared into her and wished for the blush to run away from his cheeks for being caught.

“Kaz?” Y/N croaked. “Is something-wrong?” There was a pause between her words because of the lack of hydration. Kaz shook his head and got up to leave but her voice travelled to his ears and even further in his stone heart, “Can you stay?” Kaz contemplated and sat back down. “I got-all the jew-jewels.”

“I saw.” Kaz said, and Y/N’s head found its way back to the pillow. “Thank you.” Y/N didn’t expect that, but nodded and smiled at Dirtyhands.

“Mmhm.” Y/N exhaled. Kaz mentally battled himself, and Y/N could see the warfare in his eyes as he held out his hand to her. Gloved fingers met shaky, insecure ones. Kaz thought he would feel cold and lumpy, dead fingers but they were warm and soft, nothing like the floating bodies. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled. His hand gripped hers tightly. “I-“ Y/N awaited what the ever so secretive man would say. “I do not like Inej.”

“Ok? That’s rude, Kaz.” Y/N mockingly voiced. “She does a lot for you.”

Kaz rolled his eyes at her remark, and his mouth formed a slight smile. “No, I am not in love with her.” Y/N tightened her fingers around his. “I want you, Y/N. I need you. You are what I yearn for.” Kaz fought against all his doubts and demons as he confessed his love for the mesmerizing woman in front of him. “I cannot imagine a day without you by my side.” Y/N softly stroked his hand.

“I feel the same.” Y/N admitted, and Kaz’s body became less tension filled. Her voice brought him back to her and the moment.

“So, you will have me?” Kaz said. Ans this wasn’t Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, or Dirtyhands. This was Kaz Reitvald who justed wanted to be loved by someone who loved him back.

Y/N brightly smiled, and Kaz’s eyes burned brighter with her, “Yes.”

The next morning, Nina’s happy screams woke up the whole of Ketterdam.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kaz x inej #inej gjafa #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #wylan van eck #nina x inej #kaz x you #six of crows

[eventidesworld]

An Important Notice

Almost every time I read a fanfic or see what people say on Tumblr and Pinterest, Inej is perceived as this perfect angel with no flaws and Kaz is the one who needs fixing.

This is really annoying.

Listen, people, Inej is amazing, don't get me wrong. She's one of the best characters in all of literature and I look up to her as a role model, but she's not perfect. She is not a saint or an angel, she's a human. Even she can be stubborn and arrogant from time to time. Let's not forget how she doubted Wylan's demo ability at the beginning of SOC. Her line, "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all," is iconic and I understand the meaning, but it's still a bit hypocritical when you think about it. She's telling Kaz to make himself vulnerable but it's not like she's that open about her own vulnerabilities either.

As for Kaz, the poor baby is almost always painted in the wrong light. He's the one with all the flaws, the one who doesn't deserve anything but misery, and the one who needs fixing. Even if he's just a character, I feel bad and think perhaps sometimes the Grishaverse fandom isn't fair to him. In the books, Kaz told Wylan how he shouldn't feel ashamed of his disability, VERBALLY said that he wanted to give himself up for the Crows, and didn't allow Jesper to use Parem even though it was a very efficient way to gain the victory. He even gave Nina Matthias's share of the kruge despite having the option to take it for himself.

And for Inej, the sweetheart did as much as he could. 😭

He was dead set on saving her at the beginning of CK and stopped at nothing until she was with him again. And his line, "I would have come for you, and if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you." He said he would crawl, CRAWL!! Fucking crawl to her, and knowing Kaz, he so would if he had to. And then he liquidated all, not some, all of his assets, every single cent, he gave it all up for her. To fully free her from the Menagerie. In the end, he bought her a ship, found her parents, and even went as far as taking off his gloves and holding her hand for a long time IN PUBLIC!!!! At the harbour where anyone could see. In fact, he's the reason why she's where she is in the first place. He got her out, gave her a knife, and made her dangerous. He gave her the freedom to grace the rooftops in the dead of night and haunt the streets. He gave her the option to leave if she wanted. HE LOVED HER TO THE POINT WHERE HE LET HER GO BECAUSE HER HAPPINESS AND DESIRES MATTER MORE TO HIM THAN HIS OWN!!!

He's not that bad okay. I know he's very flawed and traumatized, but he's got a very big heart, he just doesn't show it. He gave Jesper a place to go, provided Wylan with protection, and allowed Nina and Matthias to reunite. He formed the plans for the Ice Court and ended Van Eck and Pekka Rollins while doing his best to ensure that the Crows would stay alive. But still, he's the only one who has to fix himself. Some fans still think that he isn't worthy of Inej. Meanwhile, Inej is the perfect, flawless angel. I thought people didn't like a Mary Sue. And Inej isn't a Mary Sue, she has flaws, she has weak points, and she has things that she needs to work through as well.

For those of you who read all this, thank you for sparing some time.

#kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows #inej ghafa #third army #kanej #crooked kingdom

[lady-ashfade]

Could you please do poly! Crows x Male reader who’s tall and selective mute?(family trauma) He’s kinda like a mix of Kaz and Inej: doesn’t show emotion and his footsteps are silent. On the rare occasion, the crew will see him turn his head to hide a smile. I imagine they all just got back from an intense heist, reader was near passing out injured, and he mumbles about how much he loves them and he thanks them for dealing with him while tears slowly drip down his bruised face. Whole time Nina and Inej are tending his wounds trying not to cry, Wylan is curled up near him and Jespers is holding his hand while Matthias and Kaz are kinda just standing around. (I tried to give detail to make it easier, I’m sorry if that was a lot)

Tall Idiot

Poly!Crows x male reader.

Notes: Not as long as I wanted it to but I had to get it out, so hopefully you’ll enjoy still.

Warnings: Wounds, kinda angsty but comforting. Nothing much I can say.

“Keep your eyes open.”

Matthias told you while he held your body in his arms, he was only one who could carry you. The others followed behind him, Wylan by his side and smiling at you. Nina on the other side make sure to keep focus on your heart beat. As if the wound was fatal and they couldn’t save you. But this wasn’t that kinda of wound or at least not at that point yet.

Each of their minds worried about you in this moment and thought about what would happen if you drew your last breath. They wouldn’t get to see you try and hind your smile or how kind you could be dispute acting cold. On late nights you would join Jesper to keep watch and pull him off of the gambling table or just kept him company, Wylan tagging along most times.

Then when you helped Nina with whatever she needed around the bar, or walked with her to the market. Inej was glad to have you along on a job because you were just as good at being quiet, or when you two would hang out on the rooftops. Kaz would miss the way you curled up with a book in his office while he did his paperwork or plans. Matthias would miss you laying on his shoulders while he read a book or spend your legs across his lap to lay down.

They all had things to miss.

“Just a bit longer.” Wylan said trying to comfort you. The door to the shared house only a few steps away. You could see how panicked they were over you, how they tried so hard not to loss it. You didn’t speak much and maybe it was the sleep taking ahold of you, or them showing you again just how much they loved you, you started to talk.

“M’Fine,” you slurred a bit and your eyelids started to get heavy. “Thank you.” You look up at them, kaz and Inej now coming into view from behind. All pairs of eyes are on you, “No need to thank us, dear.” Inej came close and pushed the hair off your face. A small curled up as you sighed, “No thank you for putting up with me.,” your hands feel from your side and eyes finally closing shut, “I love you…” then you were out cold.

Kaz watched and his body began to feel the water surrounding him, “Upstairs now.” He shouted and they all moved fast. They rush upstairs and lay you onto the bed, Nina trying to heal you as best she can as Inej goes to get the supplies.

After everything, Inej is wrapping you up and Nina helping her. Wylan is sitting on the bed pressing a wet cloth onto your forehead while Jesper sits beside the bed and holds your hand. Kaz watches from the chair in the corner as if his body is frozen in place. Matthias along side him as he leans on the wall staring at you, as if he were to look away you’d disappear.

“You big tall idoit,” Nina leans closer with tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe he said “Put up with him.” When we are the ones to annoy him.” Jesper jokes while he is in the same state as Nina and he gives your hand a squeeze. “He’s a handsome idiot.”

Inej bows to her knees beside Nina and says her soft prays to wish you a healthily recovery, and to thank them for not taking you away.

Kaz raises from his chair and makes his way over, “He’s not gone yet.” His tone doesn’t sound comforting but he’s trying. He just needed to state facts “He’s stubborn.” Inej looked up at him and offers a smile. Matthias sighs and moved over to the group and stands behind Nina and puts his hands on her shoulders, sending his own prayers out.

They would all watch over you and kept you safe. All six of them loved you to ends of the earth and back.

#poly six of crows #six of crows #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x male reader #matthias helvar x reader #Matthias helvar x male!reader #Inej ghafa x reader #Inej ghafa #jesper fahey #Jesper fahey x reader #Jesper fahey x male!reader #wylan van eck x reader #wylan van eck #Nina zenik x reader #Nina zenik #shadow and bone x reader

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

pairing: (future) kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: nutural

el's thoughts: soooo... i didn't plan on ending it this way but here we are haha i guess a part three is now in the works :) also please remember to reblog the fics you really like!

masterlist

Y/N tried to quiet the clicking of her boots as she crept around the back of the sandskiff, making her way below deck. She found the trap door and quickly slipped down the wooden ladder. She placed her hands on the wall and tried to find a crack between the floorboards above in an attempt to see Alina. However, she froze in her place once she felt arms wrap around her shoulders, a knife pressed to her neck. Instead of lighting a fire between her fingers as a warning, she let the unknown being guide her to where two familiar men stood. The zemini and kerch from earlier. “You-”

“Who are you?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Y/N L/N, inferni. Lieutenant General of the second army. Well, ex-lieutenant, I now assume.” A gasp slipped from the person behind her and she was instantly released from their hold. The suli girl for before stepped around her and moved to stand beside the other two. The trio looked like a rough-patch group of criminals. Ketterdam. She could only assume that’s where they were from. “Now it’s only well-mannered to tell me who you are given that I just told you who I am. Very willingly, mind you, I could’ve easily set a controlled fire loose. So…” She held out the ‘o’ as she waited.

“Jesper Fahey,” said the tallest of the group. 

“Inej Ghafa.”

“Brekker.” His rich coffee-brown eyes bore into hers as if trying to read her soul. The dark lighting cast shadows over his sharp facial features. “Kaz Brekker.” His voice held much reluctance as he spoke his name.

“And I’m safe to assume you’re all criminals. Now that leaves me with one last question…” She spun on her heel and walked around, glancing over her shoulder every so often, inspecting the room. “What business do you have on this skiff?” 

The trio shared a look and said nothing. Y/N hummed, “Okay… Avoid in silence, fine.” She sighed, “I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me, but I will get up there and I will be leaving this skiff with the sun summoner.” She eyed them all carefully, but her calm expression didn’t last long when another voice spoke up. 

“I’ll be with you then.” 

The four of them turned around so quickly that her head hurt. “Mal. Of course.”

“He’s with you?” The lanky man with his top hat pointed his gun between the two.

Y/N shrugged, “I guess so.”  The hairs on the back of her neck pricked as she felt someone’s eyes on her, unmoving. Kaz Brekker. The name seemed slightly familiar as she sorted the names in her mind like files in a cabinet. Criminal from Ketterdam. Bastard of the barrel, Dirtyhands. He made quite a reputation for himself. 

His eyes, were cold and unfeeling as he stared shamelessly at her. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to piece together her story, she assumed, just as she did his. Fair. 

The sound of sand shifting was heard around them, and screaming was heard almost instantly after. Horror settled in her bones as the realization of what the Darkling was doing washed over her. “He’s moving the Fold.”

Mal ran to the stairs and lifted the trap door, gunshots were heard following his pounding steps on the deck above them. Y/N followed quickly, flames licked up her hands as soon as her head was above the wooden panels. In comparison to Mal, her footsteps were much quieter as she snuck up another set of stairs to where Zoya Nazalensky stood. A man in the familiar red grisha uniform stood there and was quick to notice her. Y/N threw up her hands, aiming a jet of flames straight toward his chest. All she needed was one loose thread to catch fire but luck or the saints weren’t on her side. He was quick to bring his hands together and within seconds she felt him grab ahold of her heart. Just as fast a knife flew right beside her head into his shoulder and a strong gust of wind knocked him back to the sand below the skiff. Inhaling deeply she saw Zoya and Inej to which she nodded her head in thanks. “Zoya, stop this skiff.”

~

The silence of the crows processing was heavy as they followed the others out of the fold. Y/N and Zoya took the lead, their voices were heard in hushed whispers while they set up a circle of logs and a fire for everyone to sit around. Mal and Alina walked far enough to change into the clothes they took from the skiff. Kaz, Jesper, and Inej sat next to each other, the latter two threw glances toward Kaz when they saw his scheming face. Trying to figure out what happens from this point forward. 

Once Mal and Alina came back she threw her black and gold kefta into the fire.

“I didn’t think it’d actually burn.” 

“Just like Kirigan, it can be destroyed after all.” 

Y/N watched the pair from the corner of her eye. Her stomach couldn’t settle, she felt like something was still off. Her eyes drifted back to the shadow fold, her own thoughts consuming her before a voice snapped her out. 

“Where do you plan to go from here?” Zoya’s voice was quiet but still in its usual stern tone. Y/N sighed, “I’m not sure. I have nowhere that I need to go so maybe I’ll travel for a while. Where do you plan on going?” She felt Kaz’s burning stare on the side of her face which she tried to ignore. 

“My aunt was in that city when he expanded the fold. I have to go and at least search.” 

“Just know that what you may find there could haunt you for the rest of your life.” Kaz’s voice was low and coarse. Everyone’s eyes trained on him while Zoya spoke. “It will haunt me more if I don’t at least try.”

Y/N felt all of her senses narrow in on the fire, twirling her fingers around causing the flames to jump up and dance their way to her outstretched hand. The heat spread across her skin but it never burned her, never left her scathed only a bit red for a few moments. 

The Darkling is dead. They all finally have the freedom they’ve been chasing and they could destroy the fold once and for all, but the gnawing feeling in her gut never left. He’s still alive. And if he was still alive, they can count on him coming back stronger and with more reason to target them. Y/N knew firsthand just how quickly his anger could get out of control. Having worked so closely with him for a long time she saw sides of him that he never meant for others to see.

The sun summoner and her tracker walked back to the fire and stood beside the inferni. “We should make headway to the docks and catch a ship. Get out of here, right?” Alina looked to her mentor for direction but didn’t receive much help other than a dazed hum. 

The group of exhausted misfits, criminals, and soldiers started their way to the docs. Zoya left the group to continue her journey to make her own peace with the inevitable loss of her aunt.  

Once the ships came into view Y/N walked around asking which had the best price. She found one stopping in Ketterdam and then making its way to Novi Zem and got six tickets. She found a small section empty and sat down with the crows while Alina and Mal went to the edge by themselves. Silence settled over Y/N as she tuned out her surroundings, including the three people next to her talking about their adventures. 

Where was she supposed to go now? She couldn’t stay in Ravka, Alina doesn’t need her, and she has no family to go to or look for. She’d never felt so useless in her life and she hated it. There was a point in her life where she wouldn’t die for this freedom to travel but after being on a short leash held by the Darkling she has the itch to constantly be doing something productive. To prepare for something, as if she was to be at war her whole life. While she saw the flaws in that she couldn’t just find somewhere to settle either. 

“Next stop Ketterdam!”

Maybe a quick stop at Ketterdam wouldn’t hurt.

~*~*~*~

tagging: @rachelcarroll1819 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @khaleesihavilliard @simrah1012

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #ellora.writes

[absolutelyhugh3s]

jersey giant | jh86

y’all i am so so sorry this took so long to get out!! i’ll try my best to start getting things out quicker and more often!!

but we’re back with the song blurbs!! i’ve recently been obsessed with jersey giant by elle king and for some reason it makes me think of the devils

pairing -> graves!sister!oc x jack hughes warnings -> mentions of blood, mentions of injury, slight cursing, mentions of death not my gif!!

word count -> 2.12k

7 months ago

since i was a little girl, I believed everything happens for a reason.

no matter how hard i search, there was no reason for this.

i remember that day like no other. i sat in the living room of my hoboken apartment, which i shared with my older brother, of course.

today my anxiety had been like no other. with ryan at hockey practice, i feared something happened to him. i texted him an upwards of 30 times, to be graced with a response of “dw cupcake i’m doing fine :)”

however, that did not calm my rambunctious mind. so i turned to my music. i’ve been writing music since i was in high school, not for the people, just for me. music was my escape, an outlet for me to express my emotions.

i don’t remember much from those few hours, the only thing i remember was my raw and bleeding fingertips after playing for so long.

it was about 3 o’clock when the front door opened. “i’m home cupcake!” ryan called, though it wasn’t his usual tone. it seemed gloomy and sad.

my brother seemed to drag himself into our shared living room, shoulders hunched, a solemn look on his face.

“how was practice?” i ask cheerfully, trying to lighten his mood. “i’m so sorry darcie” ryan croaks out, tears pooling in his eyes.

“for what ry? what’s the matter?” i ask, cupping his face and wiping the few tears that had fallen.

“they’re trading me.”

his words cut me like a freshly sharpened knife. he opens his mouth to speak once again and i brace for the impact.

“to pittsburgh”

the knife was twisted. for the past two years, i was blessed to call the garden state my home, and blessed to call the devils my family.

i was struggling with my schooling a lot a few years ago, trying to cope with the loss of my brother at home. so my parents thought it would be a good idea to send me to live with him.

so to new jersey he went, with me in toe.

i’ve made great friends while being here, johnny, dawson, nico, jesper, timo, they were all such great company.

but no one’s company could compare to that of the devils prodigy, jack hughes.

being very close in age, we became best friends immediately. we spent almost every day together except when he had morning skate or roadies.

jack was my person. at first i thought it was just platonically, but after a few months of our friendship, i developed feelings.

and after a hard loss, denying them a spot in the 2022 stanley cup playoffs, i discovered he reciprocated those same feelings.

so we started dating in secret. it wasn’t easy, but we made it work. and about 6 months in, we told our siblings. 

luke was accidentally first to know, after an awkward walk in that lacked clothes. quinn followed soon after, because jack felt guilty that the younger hughes knew but not the older hughes.

ryan was the last to know. it took a while for him to warm up to our relationship, but he eventually came around. plus, the boys became even closer than they already were. everything was perfect, until it wasn’t.

“so what does this mean” i ask, looking down at the dried blood on my fingers, my voice cracking as i try to conceal my true feelings.

“we have to leave jersey. and move to pittsburgh” he said, clearly just upset as i was. “trust me darcie i don’t want to leave” he sighs

“so don’t!” i exclaim jumping up from my place on the couch. ryan looks up at me with tears in his eyes. “darcie you know it’s not possible. if it was i wouldn’t be leaving”

“but ryan my whole life is here” i cry “my friends are here, my job is here, for fucks sake my boyfriend is here!” tears begin to stream down my face. “i cant just uproot my life because you got traded!” 

“darcie lynn graves you know we have no choice.” he says sternly. brushing his long hair out of his eyes. “better get packing” he says, looking around at the decor. “our flight leaves tomorrow night.” and with that, he walked through the apartment to his bedroom.

just as i’m about to pick up the phone and call jack, there’s a knock on the door. i look out the peephole to see non other than my boyfriend, with tear stained cheeks on the other side.

i immediately open the door to see jack still in his practice clothes. “nico was the first player to know. he told the rest of us and i came as soon as i could” his voice cracks.

i wrap my arms around his shoulders while his encircle my waist. “i don’t want you to leave me” he mumbles, placing his head in the crook of my neck. “i have no choice baby” i sigh “this is the absolute last thing i want to do”

“how long do i have?” he asks me, tears falling down his cheeks. “what?” i ask, caught off guard by the question. “until you have to leave. how long”

“my flight leaves tomorrow night” i brush the strands of his messy hair out of his face.

it looked as though that statement broke his heart. it’s scary, being young and in love, not knowing if this could possibly be the last time they ever meet face to face.

“then let’s make these next 24 hours, the best we possibly can” he says feigning confidence.

we did everything together for the next 24 hours, just as he had promised. we had the time of our lives. we went skating together, a late night 7/11 run, movies, the whole nines.

all knowing it could possibly be the last time.

then came the part i dreaded the most, leaving. ryan insisted on taking my ginormous suitcase, as jack and i walked through the airport hand in hand.

we stopped before we got to tsa. i bit my bottom lip, knowing this is what had to happen. knowing that i was leaving and he wasn’t coming with me.

jack turns to me with a sad smile on his face. “i’m gonna miss you so much baby” he says, trying to hold back tears as well.

“i’m gonna miss you too jacky” i said, my tears finally falling. he wipes them away, the sad smile remaining on his face. “i love you to the moon and saturn” he says cupping my face in his hands.

“i love you forever and always” i smile “no matter how far away i am” jack dips his head down placing a passionate and loving kiss on my lips. “dars let’s go!” ryan calls out.

“promise me you’ll call me if you need anything ok?” a big goofy smile appears on the brunette boys face. “only if you promise me the same” we laugh and share our last goodbyes as ryan and i headed towards tsa.

present time

i left jersey almost seven months ago now, but i miss jack like crazy. being without him has been really tough for me, and everyone can tell. however, i was able to spend a few weeks with him over the summer at his lake house. i met trevor, alex, cole, and ellen and jim officially, and i loved every second of it

believe it or not i’ve made some great friends in pittsburgh. if you told twelve year old me that i was friends with sidney crosby she would laugh at you and tell you you’re crazy.

“whatcha doing kid?” sid asks as he sits next to me on the couch. ryan had invited the guys and their partners to our house for a team get together. he says it’s to “celebrate the start of the new season” but i think it’s to get on their good sides.

i point to the large flat screen tv currently playing the devils game against the st. louis blues. “ohh i see” sidney chuckles “ditching the boys to watch the boyfriend”

i laugh “don’t get too pissy sid” “no no i see where i lie on your rankings of favorites” he jokes, taking a sip of his beer.

“jack hughes goes down and he’s hurt!” the broadcaster says. sid and i freeze.

“no no no”

“cmon kid get up”

“god jack get up!”

“cmon kid cmon!”

we begin to panic, yelling everything we can at the tv, as though it could be heard all the way in st. louis.

i try to hold back my tears, as i pick up my phone. as my shaky hands attempted to open my phone, jacks contact photo appears.

i look to the tv to see he’s already in the locker room. “hello?” i ask, voice shaky and palms sweaty. “hello is this darcie graves?” the man asks, clearly not jack.

“yes how can i help you?” i ask “im michael coyne, the head physical therapist for the new jersey devils. now, i’m not sure if your aware but jack sustained a significant injury to his shoulder tonight, and he keeps asking for you. and if possible we would fly you into jersey and we can meet you there. now he has informed us of your current situation, we will cover all fees needed, we just want to make sure he is ok.”

“absolutely, um- i- yeah i’ll- i’ll go” i stutter. “perfect. the flight leaves in an hour, is that alright?” he asks. “yeah that’s perfect” i sadly smile. 

“any questions?” he asks sincerely. “yes there is. can i talk to jack?” micheal almost cuts me off, “absolutely here he is now” 

“hello?” i hear my boyfriend hiss in pain. “hi jacky. i’m coming ok? they’re flying you home and i’ll meet you there. it takes to hours to get there babe, but i’ll make it to the airport in about an hour or so” i ramble.

“ok.” he hisses again “i never expected you to come back” he says. i can tell he’s frustrated by the situation, he hates being away from hockey.

“i’ll come back if you just call” i say sweetly “now i have to get packing and head down to the airport. i’ll call you as soon as i can alright?” i begin to throw my clothes into my suitcase.

“ok i love you”

“i love you more jack, i’ll be there soon.”

3.5 hours later

i landed in newark just before jack and the trainers did. although it was around 10 pm the city was still alive. so to take my mind off of the stress, i walked to the prudential center. once i arrived the trainers were already there and assessing jack.

as soon as i walked through the doors i was met by devils personnel, who ushered me into the training room. 

it was there that i saw jack sitting near a pt table with ice wrapped around his shoulder.

“you gave me the worst scare of my life” i said making my presence known to the older boy. “oh thank god your here” jack goes to get up “god fucking damn it” he hisses, sitting back in the chair.

i run to his side “can i get you anything? water, ice, a heating pad? i can order chipotle if you want? have you eaten? oh god your probably starving” i ramble.

“hey, i’m alright darcie. i’m not going anywhere” he says cupping my jaw with his healthy hand. “but what if you weren’t? something serious could have happened, you could’ve gotten a concussion, snapped your neck, jack rowden you could’ve died!”

he doesn’t respond, only chuckling under his breath at my rambling. “stop looking at me like that! it’s not funny! this is serious!” i giggle, trying my best to stay mad at him. i failed miserably.

“come sit” jack says, patting the seat next to him. as i sit down he places his good arm around my shoulders, carefully pulling me into his chest. “thank you for being here. it means a lot to me” jack says, placing a kiss on my temple.

“i’ll always be here for you baby” i smile up at him. he leans down and places a slow and sweet kiss on my lips. 

i plan to stay in newark for the next few weeks, since luke and jack have an extra room in their house. “are you gonna play doctor?” jack asks as i help him into the car. “i guess so yeah” i giggle.

“can you wear one of those sexy nurse costumes?”

“jack rowden hughes!”

#jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes #new jersey devils

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “Do you want me to leave?”

For Kaz Brekker x Reader please!!

Get Out Of Ketterdam, Damn You - Kaz Brekker

Content Warnings: Kaz's Trauma. Canon Barrel Appropriate Backstory, Threat and Violence. Not Beta/Proof Read. Unhealthy Relationship With Kaz Brekker, Like There Could Be Another Kind.

Kaz looks at the payment in front of him, your share of the last job, and he knows exactly what it means, it means you finally have everything you need to get the hell out of Ketterdam. And you should. Kaz knows you should. There is nothing for you here, nothing but bad memories and constant reminders of how everything has always been in the barrel: unfair and lonely. Nothing is given freely in the barrel, and anything good is hard to come by, and is quickly snuffed out. The barrel isn't a place for those who still have hope, and as much as Kaz wanted to keep you here, you were still full of in, despite everything. The barrel hadn't burned it out of you yet.

"You wanted to see me?" you ask. Kaz flickers his eyes up to meet yours but quickly looks back down to some papers he is arranging. You didn't spend much time in the slat. It never really felt like somewhere you could be be, you always felt just outside of it, like you needed to be invited in.

"Your free," is all Kaz says, waving a hand absently at the table. He wants this over, he wants you to take what is yours and leave and never look back. He cannot have this take too long, he is finding this hard enough.

"I'm free?" you ask.

"You got your justice, you have your money, you belong to nothing and no one," Kaz says, "free to leave Ketterdam, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Oh, right," you nod, thinking it over. Kaz won't look at you, and you hate that feeling, like he isn't trying to send you away to never return, like this is just some other business interaction. You guess, to him it is. “Do you want me to leave?”

He didn't expect you to ask him that. No. His mind screaming at him, no he didn't want you to leave. He wanted you to stay. He wanted you to always be this close. Within reach without needing to reach for you. He wants what he wants to matter, to be more than this childish desires he thought he had boxed away in the years it took for him to get to where he is now. He wanted to not want you. He wanted to want you to leave. He wanted to not have to want to want you to leave. His feelings wrapped in more feeling felt like they started to choke him and he clears his throat.

"I will not ask you to stay," he says. It's true. He won't. He couldn't. He couldn't ask you to stay when he knows you would for him. When he knows that he cannot give you a reason to. He cannot be enough of a reason to stay. He cannot ask that of you.

"That's not what I asked," you say calmly. You know Kaz Brekker is not an easy man. He is as far away from convenient as you can imagine. Of all the things you've wanted in spite of how badly they treat you, Kaz may be the top of the list. But he is like the last piece of chocolate, or that one extra shot of kvas. You tell yourself you shouldn't go for it, that you know you'll only feel worse, that its not going to fix you, it's not going to make you feel better. It'll probably make you feel worse. It always makes you feel worse. But you never are strong enough to stop yourself.

You once looked at Jesper, placing another bet he should not place at a table he was losing at badly, and you wondered for a moment why he couldn't just walk away. Then you'd seen Kaz watching the game and you understood entirely.

"Do you want me to leave?" You ask.

"I want you to be so far away from the barrel, I want you to have a life somewhere better than Ketterdam, I want better for you," Kaz says, each word having to be dragged out of him, his voice tight and strained.

"But do you want me to leave?" You ask, the need to hear him say it apparent in your tone. His eyes meet yours and that killer, that shark, stare down death, look that you have gotten so used to seeing is nowhere to be found. You don't recognise him, he isn't Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, Bastard of The Barrel as he looks at you now, he is someone entirely different, someone you've never truly seen.

Kaz knows if he tells you he doesn't want you to leave, you never will. You will stay in Ketterdam. You will stay in the barrel. You will stay with him, beside him, always at this distance, until the barrel claims you both. He knows now is the time to lie, to tell you that he wants you gone. To make you leave while you can. To make you choose yourself. To make you finally put yourself above him. He who has done nothing to deserve the fealty you've shown him. He who is not capable of having the life you are steps away from taking for yourself. He is broken, he is not even sure he is entirely human. And he has stopped trying to convince himself that he could mould himself into something that resembles a better man. He cannot fix himself, and he will not ask you to try. But you are not broken, you are not beyond repair and you can be free. All he has to do is lie to you.

Kaz Brekker has told enough lies in his life, pulled off much less convincing falsities, this simple mistruth should be no harder than than a single breath, but Saints he has never found it harder to breathe than right now.

One lie, and you're free, and you can have everything you deserve, everything better than the barrel has to offer, everything better than he has to offer.

One lie and you can have everything, except the truth.

Everything except him, but he was something you could never truly have anyway, a truth you both know too well.

"Kaz," your voice cracks as you say his name. Your eyes are pleading with him, begging him to not make you ask again. But you do anyway. "Do you want me to leave?"

Kaz could do this one thing, this one... selfless thing. For you. He could do it.

But he doesn't. "No," he says, "I don't want you... to leave."

♡ Tag as requested: @the-girl-in-the-shadows ♡

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #kaz brekker #kaz being kaz #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x y/n

[ladylooch]

Road Visit with Timo Meier

A/N: I'm uh... just gonna drop this here and run away. K thanks bye. Don't even come at me for making this sweet at the end either. You know how I am!!!!!!! Okay, love you, bye.

Word count: 3.2k

I’m almost disappointed he hasn’t seen me yet. Almost. But the view from the bar where he scrolls through his phone is delectable. He’s in a suit, thinking he is meeting Nico and Jesper for a fancy steakhouse dinner.

What he doesn’t know is he is meeting me. In this dimly lit hotel bar and then I’m taking him upstairs for the much needed distraction that I am. 

I watched him when he walked in. He didn’t even look around, just went right to the bar, asking for an old fashioned. He had sighed deeply, taking out his phone and sending a heart to the distraction picture I sent earlier of me and Lio from last night. 

I miss those faces. Give Lee a kiss for me. Had been his response.

When the old fashioned was set in front of him, he gulped down half of it angrily. 

My husband is in a mood. And that’s why I got on the first flight out to Denver this afternoon.

Timo gently sets the glass back on the table. He presses a button on his phone, then brings the phone up to his ear. I jolt when my phone starts vibrating against the bar, quickly silencing it and sending him to voicemail. I watch as he frowns deeper, clicking off before leaving a message. His thumbs type feverishly against the screen.

Call me when you can. Need to hear your voice.

Another gulp of his drink.

I down the rest of my cosmo, then step away from the long bar. I tug my black skirt down, trying not to be subconscious about being a mom to an almost three year old and wearing something so sinfully short. Timo still scrolls through his phone. A smile quirks a corner of my mouth up. I’m glad his eyes aren’t wandering, not that I ever worry about that to begin with. I get close to his table, taking a head on approach that has his blue eyes looking up from his illuminated screen. A double take happens, then a huge, stunned smile stretches his lips apart. He tosses his phone onto the table, standing before coming around to grab me into his arms.

“Em.” He sighs into me. I close my eyes, tilting my face into him for a moment. But just one. 

“I saw you sitting across the bar and had to come say hello.”

“Why didn’t you come over right away?”

“I’m a little intimidated by handsome men.” I trail my gaze up the buttons of his shirt, lingering where the one button is undone, giving me a peek of his chest. I slide past his strong jaw, then to his blue gaze. 

“You’re my wife?” He chuckles, confused. He isn’t catching on.

"Let's not talk about your wife." Timo furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“What?”

"You need a distraction. That's what I'm here for. A very... sexy... needy distraction." I pout my dark red lip at him. 

“I love my wife though…” He says as he cocks his head to the side.

“She offered to share you. Just for tonight. For the sake of the team.” I swipe my finger over my lips in a shush. His eyes finally sparkle in recognition of what I'm doing. He reaches for his ring, taking it off. He pulls mine off too, then reaches for the clasped necklace with our son's name on it, undoing that with a brief kiss against my neck. He takes the pile of expensive jewelry and slides it into his inner suit pocket for safe keeping.

“In that case, what's your drink of choice, beautiful?"

“Cosmo.”

“A woman of sophistication. Admirable.” He murmurs. “I’ll grab you one. Have a seat.” 

He squeezes my fingers briefly, then wanders up to the bar. I watch his back as he leans against the bar top waiting. Tonight, I’m going to drag my fingernails down his skin until he’s marked for practice tomorrow. The boys will give him shit and he’ll love it. I nibble my bottom lip at the thought until it’s puffy and red when he returns. He sets the pink drink in front of me, then wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me onto his lap. 

“More comfortable here.” He insists, eyes looking at my lips. I nod in agreement. I take a sip of my cosmo, savoring the bite with an appreciative sigh.

“You in town for business or pleasure?” I ask him. 

“I thought it was business. But something hints at pleasure tonight.” I suck my cheeks in to keep from breaking character.

“I’m only here for pleasure.” Timo grins back, white teeth sparkling in the low lighting of the bar. 

“How long you in town?”

“Until Thursday morning. I’m going to the Devils game tomorrow night.”

“You need tickets?”

“No, I know a guy.” Timo can’t help but laugh at that.

“Am I the guy?” He asks.

“No, Nico Hischier.”

“Ah. So, Why aren’t you in his bed tonight?” I snort on my cosmo, then cough. Ew.

“Heard his wife doesn’t share like yours.” I wipe the back of my hand over my mouth as both Timo and I giggle.

“I am a lucky man. She’s good to me.”

“Thought we weren’t talking about her.”

“Can’t help myself.”

“I think I can help you.” I lean down, brushing my lips over his. I watch his eyes close, thick eyebrows turn inward as he appreciates the feeling of my fingers trailing along his upper thigh.

"I have something I know your wife has never worn for you.” I grab his hand, putting it on my thigh and using it to push the fabric of my skirt up. He moans when he reveals my red lingerie. He gets bold, running a thick finger along the edge, sighing when he pulls it away to watch it snap back into the crease of my thigh.

“No. My wife has never worn this.” He knows all of my sets. This one is new. I slide his hand back down, covering the bold lace back up. Timo’s blue eyes are yearning now. Almost desperate enough to head upstairs.

“We probably shouldn't be seen together." He murmurs as he slides a card into my palm, just like in Ibiza. “I’ve got family ties on the team.” His nose trails along my cheek until he gets to my ear lobe, sucking it into his mouth. "You go up first. I'll be there in a minute." His thumb comes to stroke my lips, igniting fire and setting my heart beat racing.

I stand, watching Timo’s face as my dress sticks a little high, showing him more of my lingerie. I wiggle it all back into place, then slowly saunter from the bar. In the lobby, I see a few Devils players lingering. I give a brief wave, not stopping my pursuit to the elevators. Once inside, I punch the button for the 8th floor. 

I walk down the hall to room 821, putting the key card in and stepping into the dark room. I go to the bedside table, turning the lamp on then surveying the room. Timo is neat, much more so than any other man I’ve been with. He has all his clothes tucked away in the closet and dresser. Only his sneakers sitting by the dresser are an indication that someone is staying in here. My eyes find the picture of Lio and I he brings with him every road trip. It’s from when he was barely 1. Our cheeks are pressed together as we both laugh, noses scrunched enjoying the fall day at the start of training camp. I turn the picture facing down, knowing my husband won’t want to see our son with what he’s about to do to his mother.

My fingers gather the silky fabric of my black dress, pulling it over my head and tossing it into the dresser. I stretch my neck and shoulders out, then set myself on the bed to wait.

It isn’t a long one.

“Okay, this is kinda funny. Nico was in the elevator- Oh my god.” Timo pauses when he sees me on the bed. He’s comatose for a moment seeing my lingerie set completely exposed. Peek-a-boo lace covers my skin but barely. His mouth literally drops open as his blue gaze scours my body. I lay back, then slide my legs apart as he steps forward so he can see the lack of fabric between my legs. He gropes at his belt while sliding a finger through my wet folds.

“Take me. However you need to. For however long you want.” I moan as his middle finger plunges into my entrance unannounced.

“You’re making all my dreams come true tonight.” The metal of his belt clangs together as he gets it apart. He leans forward, placing his lips against my wetness. His tongue comes out, lapping along my slit until he finds my clit. He sucks it into his mouth, humming against the sensitive bud until my back arches.

“You’re so sweet.” He whispers, breath teasing as he pulls back. “Are you sweet here too?” He leans down, sucking my nipple through the lace of my bra. He cups the bottom of my breast, plumping it up to devour more of me. It feels so good as his fingers circle my clit simultaneously. The way he explores my body with rough touches of familiar places makes me ache. “Mmm, you are.” He murmurs, pulling away. “You wanna taste?” I nod vigorously, grabbing his neck as our lips touch. His tongue assaults my mouth, leaving trails of me and him there.

“Be a good girl and get on your knees.” He says. He gets off the bed, unbuttoning each of his buttons while he watches me stand. Slowly, I bend over in front of him, rocking side to side before crawling back onto the bed on all fours. He reaches for me, crudely shoving his bare cock through my folds. He grips my hips, rocking me back onto him until he’s fully sheathed by my heat.

“Fuck, baby.” He stutters. 

“Am I being good? You like the way I take you?” I whisper, biting my lip at the way he already groans behind me after his first thrust.

“God, yeah. Perfect.” He connects my back with his chest, groaning at the way my ass bounces against his abdomen with each forceful pump. His lips explore the valley of my shoulder blades. I swear he whispers I love you, but then he turns wild and I don’t have the opportunity to ask what he said.

“Oh…. My.” My mouth drops in shock. He’s hitting depths I don’t think I’ve ever taken him before. My throat constricts, trapping more sound into it as I feel my inner walls begin to flutter around him. He pauses for a moment, adjusting his grip on my hips as he rises back up to his knees behind me. “Right there.” I sob, reaching my hand back to grip his wrist. My finger nails pierce his skin briefly.

“No. Only my wife gets to touch me.” He grabs my wrist harshly, pinning it against my lower back and fucking harder into me. My face is shoved into the comforter. I can barely breathe between the sheets and my hair. Timo reaches around musing my brown strands off my face and groaning as I pant heavily from each thrust into my tightening core.

“Fuck. Ohmygod.” My words are mouthed. Not even completely spoken as the orgasm rips through me. He doesn’t stop when he feels the convulsions of my walls. He doubles down, harder and harder as my jaw practically unhinges. Timo brings my hand down, placing it on the bed again. I grip the comforter tightly to ground myself while I shudder.

“You feel so fucking good cumming around my cock.” He grits his teeth.

My walls hug him tightly, coming harder than the first time as the scream lodged in my throat tears loose. It’s primal and raw, a sound I don’t remember hearing from my mouth before. Timo chuckles triumphantly, then slows his thrusts to ease me back down. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. 

“That’s it… Let me teammates here how good I make you feel." He bruises my skin harshly with his teeth. I whimper as he slides all the way out of me. He taps my thigh. I flip onto my back, cheeks pink, breasts bouncing, lingerie twisting slightly off center. Timo plunges into me again after a hefty suck of my left nipple. 

“This what you wanted when you saw me tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Wanted to be fucked like a slut?”  I close my eyes, giggling.

“How can I be the slut here when it’s so clear how much you want me?”

“I don’t like my women sassy.” I snort, then reach up, slapping his face lightly.

“No?” I purse my lips as he laughs, clearly enjoying everything that is happening between us.

“Now, I gotta fuck the brat out of you.”

“You can sure try.” He rolls his eyes at my ever persistent challenges. 

He leans forward, scooping me up into his arms like I’m nothing for him. I chomp down on my lip, drawing blood as my eyebrows pull inward. He fucks me deep, at an angle, that has my spent walls overstimulated.

“You good, baby?” He asks. I nod. “Open your eyes so I can see.” I do and he grins, seeing how absolutely wrecked I am from what he is doing to me. “One more.” He begs, leaning down to kiss me. Our heavy breathing makes it hard to stay connected. I choke as my orgasm grips me again, taking Timo with me into the delicious abyss. Jerky pumps push his seed deeper into me as he drops me onto the bed, unable to hold my weight up anymore with the intensity of his orgasm. His fingers pin my hips down as he finishes his sloppy thrusts. 

Almost instantly, Timo's touch on my hips changes.  Gone is the possessive franticness and in it's place comes a tender caress. His fingers spread wider, trying to gather as much of my flesh into his hands as possible. He pulls me down, forcing himself as deep as possible until our mixed sex smears across his lower abdomen.

"Babe." I whisper breaking our role play. "Are you okay?” My words are met with nothing but his heavy breathing. “I’m worried about you.” I murmur.

“How do you just know?”

"I heard it in your voice last night when you called.” My hand threads through his hair. His nose smooshes into my collar bone. I run my other hand along his back, pressing down so he collapses his weight onto my frame, still buried inside of me. My legs wrap around his waist, heels pressing into his butt.

“I’m…” Timo starts then trails off. I wait patiently, stroking my finger nails along his back. Goosebumps protrude from his skin. He melts further into me, smooshing his lips in wet kisses. “I’m having a hard time focusing on hockey.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… I just.. wanna be at home with you and Lio.” This is the second season since Lio has been born and I’m surprised to hear this is the struggle. “It is so hard leaving you.” His earnest groan has me turning my face to caress his head with mine. “Feel like I’m missing so much of his life.” He sighs, then rolls off and out of me. His back hits the mattress next to me in a heavy thud. “Missing so much of our life.” 

I reach out, holding his abdomen, stroking my fingers into the deep groves of muscle.

“You’re going to have to find a way over this.” I whisper the truth we both recognize. 

“I know.”

“Is this harder because Lee cried when he said goodbye to you this time?” Timo purses his lips then nods. “Yeah. That sucked.” I roll onto my side. “You’re such a good daddy.” I soothe him, stroking vertically along his torso. “He’s going to adjust. He’s in a clingy phase right now.”

“Did he cry when you left?”

“Yeah. I had to sneak out of the house while my mom distracted him with his stuffed puppy.”  A soft smile stretches his lips.

“I love our kid.” He leans forward, asking for my lips. 

“Me too.” I murmur against his mouth. He sighs into our kiss.

“That made me feel better for some reason.”

“You feel comforted knowing I’m also doing damage to our son. He’ll talk about us both in therapy.”

“Yeah, kinda.” He laughs, wrapping an arm around my shoulder to pull me up into his chest. He strokes my hair, then kisses the crown of my head. 

“I can’t believe Nico didn’t come over with how hard the headboard was slamming against the wall at the end. He rooms next to me.” My face turns white, mouth dropping open in horror.

“What?”

“Just kidding.. He’s at dinner. I was trying to tell you I saw him in the elevator so we were clear. But then you opened your legs and I didn’t remember what I was gonna say.”

“T!” I yell, slapping his pec. “You got me all scared.”

“What that you’re in trouble with your little brother for fucking your husband?”

“No, that he was gonna come kill you cause he heard you with someone.”

“As always, you’re worth the risk baby.” I can’t help but laugh at his cheery smile. 

“Do fornicaters usually eat afterwards?” I wonder, feeling the rumbling of my stomach.

“I don’t think so, but nothing about that was adultery, so I think we are safe to order something.” He reaches around me to the nightstand. He studies the menu while I study his face.

“Lee and I are so lucky.” I murmur, stroking his jaw where light, brown stubble dusts his cut chin. “So glad you are my baby’s daddy.” I press my lips on the underside of his chin. Timo pulls me in closer, dropping the menu to wrap both arms around me.

“I’m the lucky one. I love you, Em.”

After ordering room service, and eating entirely too much food, we both fall back into bed, watching Pretty Woman play out on USA Network. Timo strokes my hair. Each pass over the strands has my eyes dipping closed longer and longer with every blink. The room goes black when Timo turns the TV off for good. His arms curl me into him deeper.

“Don’t even think about rolling away from me during the night.” I smile against the skin of his shoulder. I press myself further into his chest. His fingers dig more into my back. A silence falls over us. 

“T?” I murmur after awhile.

“Mmm?” Its barely an acknowledgment.

“You love me so well. Lee too. I hope you know how much we love you in return. And miss you when you’re gone.” I squeeze his back. “I think I’m here as much for myself as I am for you.” He leans down, searching for my lips in the darkness. When they connect, we both melt into each other.

“I love you so much.” His whisper has a depth I’ve never heard before. The deep darkness of the room adds an intimacy and safeness to us. 

Neither one of us needs to say anything else. Instead, our bodies awaken. Our fingers wander. Our lips greedily take until we have each other like husband and wife- familiar and knowing. Soothing, briefly, the eternal ache we have for each other that I know is never going to diminish. 

#TM: Loving & Leaving #Emma X Timo Meier #Timo Meier smut #my writing #hockey fan fiction #hockey writing #NHL writing