#for some reason tiktok has showed me a lot of videos from a hospice nurse today and what was my first fucking thought?!?!?!?!

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#for some reason tiktok has showed me a lot of videos from a hospice nurse today and what was my first fucking thought?!?!?!?! #a simi story #listen up my fucked up brain i won't fucking write sad stories. no fucking way. do dying no sad end no no no. #and now i'm sitting here crying over these videos while i should pack my stuff for tomorrow to move away #i don't even know how this nurse's page ended up on my for you page when i only watch f1 makeup and graphic design videos #i hate these emotional rolecoasters #like... carlos on pole today = happiness and positivity and i don't let anyone to fuck up my mood i even eat one of my fave foods because #this was my last full day at home and now i'm sitting on my bed after i cried my eyes out and i'm just sad and scared #for some reason all day i was thinking about wanting to write a short little something for myself with one of my fave topics as comfort but #then i didn't write it because i don't want people to think i'm obsessed with that topic or something and i didn't really have the #motivation to write because after writing for prompts this summer it's really hard to write without prompts i mean like without someone #waiting for the story and without someone requesting it #i want to write cute stories and i want to write about that one topic over and over again but it's so difficult because... i can't not #care about what people might think if they saw i have like five stories about it or so and i want more #i sometimes don't know what to do with my thoughts and emotions #my useless posts