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#genocide through starvation but with the holodomor it really was a famine this time guys. it's a myth. my family history is just a myth and
restlessmaknae · 4 years
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promises for pride - present days
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Beware of promises. You never know what they might turn you into.
Also; the downfall of a prince and his way of becoming one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
♦ Characters: pride!Seokjin x humility!OC
♦ Genre: demon au, seven deadly sins au, pride au, historical, angst, drama
♦ Words: 13k
♦ Warning: mentions of blood, death and the usual historical stuff
♦ promises for pride: past days (first half) / present days (second half)
🙝 9 🙞
Present day
Kim Seokjin died on 14th April in 937, a year after Myungeun's death. After Hubaekje's annexation, the three kingdoms were finally united and he had been a king for more than a year and a half when he got shot during an unnecessary war between the new kingdom and Chang'an, the capital of Tang. He died on the spot as an arrow was shot through his heart. How ironic was his last thought before he fell to the ground and closed his eyes for one last time.
He didn't want to become a Sin; he was chosen to be one. He couldn't do anything though; he would suffer even more if he protested against the demons’ will. Nonetheless, since he was now the Pride himself, of course he wouldn't mess it up and face failure because that would make him feel unworthy of his title.
After all, Pride was said to be the most foremost and serious of the Seven Deadly Sins. Pride was what changed angels into devils. It was the only Sin that had a virtuous side. Everyone knew that a well-balanced self-esteem was more of a gift than a curse but when people took it too far or they had the potential to take it too far, that's when his job started. Although the start was a bit like walking on a thorny road for him, he eventually managed to enjoy his life as a Sin and truth to be told, it couldn't have been better.
He saw as people turned into narcissist assholes who picked fights with everyone, merciless bosses who took their employees' diligence for granted, pedantic parents who set high expectations for their kids because they couldn't be satisfied with less than perfect and youngsters with dangerously corrupt selfishness who bullied their classmates because they thought that they had every right to bully them.
Humans were so easily manipulated. Seokjin didn't really have a hard time messing with their thoughts and vision. If whispering into their ears and living with them like a second voice weren’t sufficient enough, he would use mirrors as his ultimate weapon. He could make everyone believe that they were perfect, they were beautiful or handsome, they were loved and he could also make them see unrealistic (but undoubtedly seducing) alternatives.
Let's say that there was a girl with braces at the age of 13, feeling totally worthless. She convinced herself that she was ugly and fat and no one would love her thanks to the naughty comments that she got by her classmates. Yet, when Seokjin showed up, he made sure that she felt the opposite. She was special because she had braces and this way she would be even more beautiful. Therefore she's better than all her bullies. She can bully them now that she knows that she's better than them.
Note that Seokjin used tools to manipulate them but it was the girl that let him take over her thoughts and behaviour. He showed how she could change her life and instead of using his words only for self-comfort, she got carried away and totally turned the tables. If the human wasn't strong enough to say no to him, it was a piece of cake to play with their feelings and ruin their lives.
It would be an understatement to say that he was glad to play his role; he lived to be Pride. Just like his name suggests, he was more than happy to take everyone with him on an evil ride and show what happens at the end of the road; when you start to believe in yourself. Of course, with Seokjin's assistance, people believed in themselves too much but humans couldn't stop, they were just as obsessed with Pride as with food, money, appearance or achievements. It wasn't difficult to use them as his toys.
Luckily, Seokjin himself stayed as his 19-year-old self since he was only 19 years old when he died and Sins didn't age with time. If such a system hadn't existed, he would have been almost 1100 years old by now. He couldn't mind his young age at all because he knew that he wasn't a child anymore and none of the Sins looked at him as someone reckless or childish. They were perfectly aware of his passion for his Sin and they didn't look down on him. Not like they would have the right to do it.
After all, he was the most serious Sin. The first Pride was the one who turned Lucifer into Satan. Seokjin just made sure to get the demons’ hopes up. He motioned the French to start the revolution in 1789, he fuelled the communist policies of Mao Zedong which resulted in the Great Chinese Famine, he was the one who whispered into Stalin's ears to force the starvation genocide against the Ukraine which we commonly call by the name of Holodomor and he was there when the two world wars happened and even after when Jews were systematically murdered during the Holocaust. Of course, he was there every single time. He didn't fail his mission. He was Pride and pride was the number one reason why the most terrible events of human history took place.
There were only two tiny things that bothered him throughout those long years. One was that he still remembered all of his memories from his human life. He had heard that there was a Sin that had only blurry memories and couldn't really solve the puzzle of his life but he remembered it all. And he pitied himself, he pitied how weak, fragile and naive he used to be. He pitied how he had hoped that his brothers would change but they never did. He pitied how he couldn't overcome his anxiety and step on the throne earlier.
Besides pity, he didn't regret anything. Not even that one last war between Goryeo and Chang'na. Not even the annexing of Hubaekje and Silla. He was proud of what he had done and he was sure that if his father still lived, he would say that he was proud, too. Looking back now, he didn't even know why Myungeun had meant so much to him. Unfortunately, she couldn't see the big picture − that what he had done was for a greater purpose, it was for a stronger and bigger Goryeo. He re-wrote history yet she couldn't see it. He always felt a kind of hollowness when he thought of her but it was nothing compared to that devastating pain that he had experienced when he held her dead body in the middle of the battlefield.
The other thing that bothered him was the lack of company. He really didn't need a woman in his life to make him feel complete but he could use some company once in a while. All Sins were preoccupied with their own duties, they didn't have time to fool around and throw parties. (Maybe except Lust who literally ran a nightclub, so if we take that into consideration, he was always partying.) He enjoyed that he could dye his hair in whatever colour he wanted (he opted for cotton candy pink at that time) and try on whatever clothes he laid his eyes on, eat whatever food he wanted but it got boring after a while.
To spend his spare time, he liked to mess with some demons that were inferior to him. One of them was Lee Jaehwan who was actually a nice guy but he was such a blabbermouth, he always talked about gossips that didn't interest him. Not to mention that he couldn’t waste his precious time on nasty gossip. It would hurt his pride.
Yet, that day he could say something interesting that piqued the Sin’s curiosity.
"I have some news for you," Jaehwan bowed with respect as he approached Seokjin but the demon merely shrugged it off. Jaehwan was known to be an undercover demon who usually hung out with angels or the Virtues themselves because he really had the face of an angel and no one would suspect that he was actually a demon.
"I don't have lots of time now, so keep it to yourself until I get back," he patted Jaehwan's shoulder as he tried to pass by him but the other demon's words caught him off-guard. He didn't expect what kind of news he would really have.
"Your opposite Virtue, the pretty Humility is actually looking for you."
Frankly, he didn't imagine such news. Why on Earth was Humility looking for him? She was too good to even consider hurting him despite the fact that she could easily destroy him with a single touch of her hand. Okay, maybe not a single one but if an entirely selfless soul like the Virtue herself − or a human with the same abilities − touched him for a long time, it would feel like his whole body was on fire. It would destroy him.
However, due to the fact that Humility was a Virtue, killing a Sin would probably never even cross her mind, so why would she look for him?
Now, it was time to interrogate Jaehwan.
🙝 10 🙞
“What do you mean by looking for me?” Seokjin raised his eyebrows in question, apparently unable to process what he had just heard. The news was nonsense. Why on Earth (or in Hell) Humility would be searching for him? That made no sense.
“I don’t actually know,” the other demon shrugged. His features were manly and sharp and even though Pride was so much older than him, Jaehwan was actually older than him in human age, so it was a peculiar sight when they were talking and Jaehwan acted like a scaredy-cat besides the Sin.
Seokjin didn’t care about the age gap between him and other demons as he always emphasised that tiny little fact that he would at least stay young forever. By the way, he knew well that everyone envied his gorgeous face and well-built body. He was literally fine as Hell. He knew he looked astonishingly handsome, even some cheap female demons were chasing after him yet he ignored them every single time they tried to hit on him. Love wasn’t a definition for him, plus he didn’t want to waste his precious time on such pitiful things like romance. Only humans and weak-hearted demons did that but he wasn’t one of them.
“I’ve just passed by an angel who said that Humility was on edge lately because she couldn’t find someone whom she wanted to. Later, I heard that she was looking for you but God knows why?” he pouted in a deadpan manner, making Seokjin more than angry with his flat response.
Pride took a step closer to the taller guy and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Jaehwan’s eyes widened in fear, not to mention his cheeks that were almost on fire. Even his ears turned red when the Sin’s voice rose higher.
“You better snoop on her because I won’t believe you until you tell me why she’s after me,” he gritted his teeth, shaking his head in disbelief. Did that lower-class demon really dare to assume that he was interested in such gossip? Did he think that he had time for this?
He was a busy man, he was a Sin after all and nothing could indicate his excellence better than the fact that he had been a Sin for more than a thousand years. That was a huge accomplishment; neither of the previous Prides was as successful as him. One didn’t do his job properly and started behaving like a good person, so he was fired. One was distracted by the issues of his own descendants, so he held the record for the shortest period as a Sin while another one fell in love with a human and that particular human was so pure and selfless that her touch killed him.
Oh yes, if he forgot to mention, there was only one thing that could make him weak or even destroy him. That was the touch of an entirely selfless soul. Of course, it could only happen if the soul was absolutely and entirely selfless but it was just as rare as the times when Jin didn’t look good.
However, even if he was his demon self, there was still some risk that he could get hurt. If he happened to get in physical touch with any of the Virtues, he could seriously get hurt or even die if they touched him constantly for several minutes. The touch was almost like playing with fire; he literally felt like he got burnt when their arms brushed with his. He knew that by experience because when he started as a Sin he was so reckless that he wouldn’t believe in this whole “touch of an entirely selfless soul” garbage and looked for a Virtue on purpose to touch her. He still got the scar on his palm that he had obtained that day.
“O-of course, I’ll do that,” Jaehwan stuttered nervously and gulped. He tried to look away because he felt like the ground would consume him if their gazes met. That’s how mighty Seokjin’s look was.
“Good,” Pride boasted a satisfied grin and let him go. “Now, go! I don’t want to see you again until you find out why Humility is looking for me. Got it?” his voice resonated like it was the sound of the thunder, small wonder why the low-class demon shivered in fear. He looked like he could pass out in any minute but that was exactly the kind of reaction Seokjin wanted to get.
In the blink of an eye, Jaehwan nodded his head vigorously and disappeared into thin air. Pride was aiming for such a cowardly response, yet he was still quite proud of his confident confrontation. He could recall the times when he was only a weak, naïve little kid whom everyone liked to bully. He pitied that side of him so bad. His human self was one that he wished to forget. He hated how small and scared he was. How pathetic.
He was a coward and Myungeun was one to blame for it. If it wouldn’t be for his father’s last wish, he wouldn’t have overcome his pitifulness. Believing her promises was a mistake. Falling in love with her was a mistake. She caused more harm than good. She couldn’t see that he only wanted to unite the kingdoms and create something stronger than Silla, Hubaekje and Goryeo by themselves. If she had given in, he wouldn’t have to take over Hubaekje using violence and shedding blood. It was all her fault.
At least, that’s what he said to himself. That’s how he tried to suppress his guilt and human emotions. However, as a Sin, it was inevitable that he thought differently of his human life. Becoming one of those high-class demons required a lot of personal traits that even criminals didn’t possess. Sins had to make something awful to become one. Kim Seokjin killed thousands of innocent people just to nourish his pride and unite the three kingdoms. He even killed Myungeun and her family, the royal family of Hubaekje. One by one. Without fear. Without guilt. Without humility. The Sin was already working hard in him and took over his life just like a drug would make someone addicted. He was addicted to Pride, he couldn’t say no to the evil and whenever he couldn’t feel it within him, he felt lost, he felt as if his life didn’t have a purpose. Even his death was connected to that certain Sin of his; if he hadn’t been so eager to take over Chang'an, he wouldn’t have died.
Yet, he couldn’t mind how his life turned out in the end. That last part of his life was what made him proud. Sadly, that was all he found important. Everything before that seemed unnecessary, childish and humiliating.
No wonder why he made a great Sin; he wasn’t even a human at heart, not anymore.
Not like he seemed human in the last part of his life…
🙝 11 🙞
Kim Seokjin's favourite pastime activity (or so he called that) was messing with the little humans' feelings. Not like it wasn't his full-time job but he didn't see it as a challenge. That so-called work for him was when he needed to convince a famous person − for instance, a politician − who also tried to manipulate others, so doing the same to someone who had already used the tricks of manipulation was both troublesome and time-consuming. He enjoyed every bit of it though.
So where was Pride actually? He was everywhere; in human form, in demon form, in the humans' dreams, in their head, with their reflection in the mirror... he was literally everywhere. Just like other Sins, he used teleportation to get to places but since it was limited, he made sure to have bases all around the world. He had one in Seoul, in Dubai, in Melbourne, in London, in Paris, in Los Angeles and in Egypt, too. They were all some sorts of luxurious places that someone as selfish as Pride himself would visit – casinos, 5 star hotels, banks, exhibition halls filled with paintings that each worth millions of dollars.
His bases weren’t necessarily a sign of arrogance or dignity; yet people turned those places into useless competitions and fierce battlefields. As self-confidence was within anyone, Pride only needed a triggering factor to start spreading through their veins like viruses. After that, there was no turning back.
Frankly, some people didn't have a lot to do with Pride. Of course, there were still such people around the world who were almost entirely selfless but it was rare. In this technologically-driven society where everyone wanted to compete in the worldwide race, he didn't really have a difficult job.
He was there when kids fought who's the smartest; when youngsters talked back to their relatives or to their superiors; he was there when high schoolers took the CSATs; he was there during any contests (especially beauty contests, it seemed that the competition was a matter of life and death for ladies) and he also assisted with break-ups. If love took an unfortunate (or a fortunate one for him) turn, Pride immediately crept its way into the lovers' hearts. There was a thin line between equality and superiority and most of the humans didn't notice when they reached the latter one.
Sometimes he had to be on the spot − either in human form or in demon form − to seduce the little humans, sometimes he didn't even have to be in their thoughts because people were naturally born to be selfish and prideful. As soon as they sinned, he felt as if there was some unseen force charging him up. He became powerful and his heart − that was actually not beating since the day he died − felt alive again. He felt invincible like he could take over the whole world.
This way, it came as no surprise that Sins were the second highest ranked demons in the underworld. There was just one above them − Lucifer. In the modern people's words, he was their boss. That didn't necessarily mean that he watched their every step because he liked to mind his own business, so until they didn't do anything unforgettable − in other words, anything good −, Lucifer didn't tease the Sins, nor did he reprimand them. He was there as an example, a role model and a living legend. Rumour has it that one of the previous Prides was the one who turned Lucifer into Satan and Pride himself was also the one who changed angels into devils. On the other hand, Humility’s job was to turn exceptionally generous and kind-hearted men into angels.
Like there was the North and South Pole, the Sun and the Moon, black and white, good and evil, Sins weren’t the only ones who looked after our world but their female opposites existed too − the Virtues. Both groups contributed to the balance of the world and despite the fact that Virtues occasionally seemed to be more powerful, most of the time Sins were the ones who ruled the world.
If we look at that way, ever since Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden apple, humans were meant to be sinners. It was easier for them to do something bad rather than something good. Therefore, Virtues had a prominently tough job nowadays as the world was becoming more and more evil.
Taking the current situation into consideration, maybe Humility wanted to seal a deal with Seokjin. Whereas, he was smarter than sealing a deal with a Virtue and so she should have been smarter, too. He never made a deal with good people. It wasn't his cup of tea – it might sound odd but for him, it equalled something disgusting and dirty. It was against his own rules. It was against his Pride.
Concerning that he hadn’t really met a Virtue in person (he encountered Patience once when he wanted to see if that “touch of an entirely selfless soul” worked in real life but that was all), let alone Humility, he couldn't even imagine what was waiting for him. Not to mention that he hadn’t even encountered that particular Virtue in all his life as a Sin. He didn’t really have time to sit down for an afternoon tea along a freshly-baked croissant at a Derbyshire tearoom with the lovely Humility.
So why now? Why was he so important all of the sudden? He didn’t remember that he had committed any crime – or to be precise, he didn’t do anything that could be considered good. Not until the day they finally met did he realise why she had been looking for him.
“Good to see you again, Jin,” a gentle female voice called from behind when he was currently in Paris, disguised in demon form, hiding behind a wall, stalking a young lad whom he wanted to manipulate to believe that he was better than the guy who had previously bullied him. He knew that nobody deserved to be bullied and that the kid should fight back. Nonetheless, Pride didn’t want the scene to just stop there. He wanted to take the young boy to the depth of his Sin.
Despite all his will and pride, Seokjin couldn’t help but turn around at the familiar yet long-forgotten nickname. He was sure that no one knew of this particular name, except one single person, therefore no one could call him by Jin, except…
“Myungeun?” the words unconsciously left his lips like a raindrop streaming down the window; slowly, reluctantly but steadily. If his heart had still beaten, he was sure that it would have skipped a beat.
Honestly, she looked just as breath-taking as always – if not more. The way her long, raven-black hair fell lusciously over her shoulders was mesmerizing. Her beautiful big doe eyes – those obsidian-black wonders – were shining with fondness just like in the good old days. She was so young and beautiful like a daydream on a summer midnight – it seemed that she could vanish in any minute, that’s why he was even afraid to touch her. Now that she was in front of him, he was left staring at her. All his words abandoned him along with his stupid Pride.
There was one single thing about her that he couldn’t process. It was the reason why his thoughts were tangled. Firstly, she was as young as when he had last seen her, so that could only mean one thing: she didn’t age with time. On top of that, there was something not human-like about her, something ethereal. He was sure that he was merely hallucinating things. He was more than 1000 years old and the appearance of such mental disorders increases by age, so it could happen in his case as well.
“Yes, it’s me, Jin,” she nodded as a gentle smile was forming on her rosy-coloured lips.” Although they know me better as Humility nowadays.”
Seokjin had never been more flabbergasted all his life.
🙝 12 🙞
Paris always had a special place in his heart. Everything about this city was so sinful, luxurious and one of a kind. Ever since the French Revolution took place, he was fond of coming back and spoiling people. French were said to be snobbish and rude. It was so much fun to watch them play his stupid little games.
Conversely, seeing someone as pure as Myungeun in that smoke-filled alley with horrendous and disgraceful graffiti painting the walls around them was remarkably odd. She seemed out of place. On the other hand, Humility didn’t find the sight peculiar − to see him in Paris. It was one of his favourite cities, the rumours said. Though she didn’t like to believe all those nasty and outrageous rumours because she didn’t judge anyone based on the gossips but now she understood why they claimed that Paris suited the one and only Pride well.
He looked like he was born to be French; although his features were of a typical Korean descendant, his sense of fashion and his cotton candy pink hair was anything but ordinary. Contrary to his young (human) age, he wore a properly fitted and ironed white shirt, a black suit, black cotton trousers with beige belt and elegant leather shoes. His pink hair was neatly parted and his neck was decorated with an oh so popular choker. He looked chic and stylish. He looked prominently spectacular, even in his demon form.
“Why were you looking for me?” Seokjin inquired nonchalantly as he couldn’t suppress a smug smile, seeing that the Virtue was eyeing him top to bottom. When she heard his question, she averted her eyes back to his face and that made him feel all sorts of inexplicable emotions.
“I wanted to see for myself if you are really the Seokjin that I used to know.”
“Well, I am as you can see,” he flung his arms in the air, a little taken aback by the fact that she wanted only this much.
He was Pride after all. He sought after an answer like I wanted to see the Sin that is over a 1000 years old and still ruining lives or I wish I sealed a deal with Pride because I can’t keep up with all these sinful people. Compared to his expectations, her answer was too dull. Too mundane.
“Well, if you only wanted to know this much… Pardon me but I have better things to do,” he cleared his throat in an attempt to turn back to that young lad but she insisted on prying into his life even more.
“Do you remember me? Your past?” her voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He was aware that not all the Sins knew of their human lives, let alone the people who they had encountered while they were still living. Luckily (or not), he was one of those who did. That didn’t matter a single bit. At least not for him.
“I remember everything but I wouldn’t regret anything,” he puffed his chest out in pride, taking in her sight. She sure changed; she looked less naïve and childish than the last time he had seen her but she still had that unfathomable aura to her. She looked pretty like the cherry trees during spring with her pure white dress that was so long that it covered her legs but she was holy like a real angel. After all, she was one of them. As Sins were high-class demons, Virtues were high-class angels. Just the little humans didn’t know anything about the world they lived in.
“Not even killing thousands of innocent people? Parents, grandparents, children, relatives, friends and lovers?” Humility asked with a hurtful expression.
“No, not even that,” he shook his head fervently and flashed an evil grin. “That was the best part.”
“It seems that it’s true what they say,” the Virtue murmured quietly but Seokjin could still hear her words. His hearing was exceptionally good.
“They say what?” he furrowed his eyebrows in question. Demons said a lot about him; like he was the most handsome Sin out of all (he was worldwide handsome, that was a fact) and that he was the original one and the other Sins showed up only after his appearance. He couldn’t argue with any of them, their compliments pushed his initially high self-esteem even higher.
“That being a Sin makes you think differently of your past,” the Virtue mused on the fact, her face slowly dissolving into a somewhat dishonest flinch.
“I don’t think differently of my past. You are the one who couldn’t accept the confident side of me, even when we were still humans,” Pride pointed out without shame and the expression on Humility’s face could tell hundreds of tales at once; she was undeniably hurt by his words but she was more like disappointed. Baffled.
“Pride started to consume you in front of my eyes and even though I tried to stop you, you couldn’t be stopped. Nor did my promises,” she shook her head agitatedly, looking down at her intertwined hands.
If he had been a human, he would have hugged her to prove that she was wrong but he wasn’t a human anymore. All he could do was to counter-attack her in a not-so-gentle manner. He wasn’t a Sin for nothing. He wasn’t innocent, nor kind anymore. He wasn’t good at all. He was the epitome of evil. The definition of Sin.
“You and your stupid promises!” he huffed is disbelief. How dare she bring up her promises, for crying out loud. “If it hadn’t been for those promises, I wouldn’t have become a Sin.”
“You were the one who broke them, not me!” Myungeun spoke up, her voice shaking a bit as the tension in the air was rising.
“You were the one who set high expectations for me that I couldn’t reach! It’s not my fault that I made mistakes but it’s yours that you still believed that I was a good person! I was never a good one and you should have seen it!” he spluttered the words as his voice rose higher and higher. The alley resonated his furious response but concerning that he was in demon form, humans couldn’t hear any of it.
But Myungeun could and it would have been a lie to say that she was ready for such an abusive confession. Judged by the sudden paleness on her face, she had probably never considered that he felt guilty for breaking her promises and blamed her for believing that he was a good soul. He wasn’t an innocent child, not even in the beginning but she saw it otherwise.
“You were a good one until your father died,” she added quietly as her long fingers were toying with the rims of her dress.
“That’s not true. He didn’t spoil me. He was the one who opened my eyes and made me see that the world was harsh. I only wanted to make him proud,” he answered matter-of-factly, not knowing why it was so hard for her to understand. Humility was either blind or too generous to see that he was born to be a sinner. Not only was he born to be a sinner but he was also born to be a Sin.
“Make him proud by taking innocent lives?” she raised her eyebrows in question, another flinch making its way onto her face. “You never agreed with that kind of policy,” she reminded him but he was too carried away with him being a demon that he wouldn’t admit that she was right.
It was almost like the winter fog; he couldn’t touch it, it wasn’t made of any material that could be seen with his eyes but he always felt its presence. Its mysterious, dark and captivating presence. That was how living as a Sin was like. He knew deep down that his past wasn’t like how he had remembered. It was like telling someone a fib that even you couldn’t believe. Yet, he couldn’t really help. An unseen virus was already working in him that forced him to think and speak differently. Liar became his middle name.
“If people hadn’t been so stubborn, I would have used other methods,” he shrugged his shoulder like he wasn’t talking about killing off innocent people just because they didn’t want to let him take over their kingdom.
“I’ve heard that you killed my family, too,” Myungeun decided to look back at him at this exact moment, so Pride could easily catch sight of the pearl-like teardrops welling up at the corner of her eyes. If she was about to talk about his past, why would she even search for him? She knew what happened and she probably knew that he would be in denial. So did she want to test the waters or what?
“I did,” he admitted shamelessly.
“Did you enjoy it?” she wanted to know between soundless sobs. He couldn’t help but snicker at her question. Was she playing on the emotional side now? Oh, she was indeed cunning. More cunning than he had assumed that a Virtue would be.
However, as soon as he wanted to open his mouth to say something, his inner voice was of his faster’s and it told him the answer right away. No, I didn’t. Seokjin was flabbergasted at the sudden change in his own train of thoughts. It was one of those moments; when he could feel that something was odd. His human side came to surface and confused his demon side. They were always within him but most of the time it was his demon self that was superior.
Yet, there were those clicks like when you change the channel and until you turn into a new show, there’s this switch where you don’t really watch the previous but not even the following show. It was the same with him; he didn’t belong to any side in those moments.
Luckily, it took only a second or so to snap himself back to his senses. He decided to ignore her question and just ask her instead.
“Anyway, how did you find me?” he furrowed his eyebrows in question because it piqued his curiosity ever since they met that day. Sins couldn’t simply be found as they were everywhere and nowhere at the same time. They were like the Moon during daytime; they were around them but humans couldn’t see them.
“A demon hunter owed me a favour after I assisted her with her tattoos that would protect her from all the Sins. So I asked her to find out where you are because I’ve been searching for you after I got to know that you might be that so-called King Seokjin who united the Later Three Kingdoms. Up until now, my search wasn’t fruitful,” she explained in detail but he still couldn’t understand her. In the end, he opted for the easiest option; he merely threw the question at her.
“Why did it matter that I was that so-called King Seokjin or not?”
“Because−“ she started bluntly but closed her mouth within a second. She was searching for the right words to say, even though she was so overwhelmed by her own feelings that she couldn’t imagine that words would be enough to describe how she felt. “I wanted to see you,” she nibbled her lower lip coyly and it would have been an adorable sight if he hadn’t been the most serious Sin and she hadn’t been a Virtue. Considering their current situation, it was almost ridiculous. At least, for Seokjin.
“You wanted to see me?” his eyes widened in amusement. He clearly didn’t care about the suppressed tears at the corner of her eyes or the devastated expression displaying on her heart-shaped face. “I know that everyone wants to see my handsome face but I don’t think it was worth the favour.”
“You know, I have more of my human side than you and for me, it was worth it,” she declared a bit blatantly compared to a Virtue but he didn’t care about such things. He couldn’t. He was the definition of evil, ignorance and self-indulgence.
“Did I meet your expectations?” he elevated an eyebrow in question while he was slowly donning a teasing grin.
“No,” she blurted out without vagueness. “You are just as evil as I had expected,” she acknowledged without blinking an eye.
“Ouch!” Seokjin placed a hand over his chest, acting like her words bite into him. The truth couldn’t have been further from that. “Was that supposed to make me feel bad? Guilty perhaps?” he clicked his tongue, challengingly taking one step closer to her. Despite his assumption, she didn’t even budge.
“Do you remember what it’s like to feel anything besides pride? To adore the sunset? To smell the fragrance of flowers? To watch kids chasing each other on a playground? To read a poem for your own entertainment? Do you even remember what it’s like to feel?” she was thinking out loud, demanding one answer after another. Her voice cracked a little at the end, making it obvious that she was scared to voice out her own concerns.
Her rambling somehow touched him. Not in a really emotional way but he didn’t feel as neutral as before. While she seemed terrified to get her answers, he was afraid that his bewilderment was obvious. So he had to make sure that Humility didn’t see how much he weakened at her words.
“I feel, just not as you do,” he concluded dryly and without warning, he evaporated. He used his teleportation skills to get to his favourite casino in Dubai and to forget about that conversation with Myungeun.
Leaving without a proper goodbye was a habit of theirs and not even time could break it.
🙝 13 🙞
Pride was supposed to carry on with his usual life.
He was supposed to spoil people, whisper sinful things into humans' ears, mess with their childish feelings, let them bring each other down (and actually motion them to do so), steal their dreams and take away their hope. He was supposed to show up here and there and grasp everyone no matter their age, status, gender or their passion. He was within everyone since every single human being was selfish in one way or another. They were born to be selfish. From the moment they opened their eyes for the first time, it was inevitable that they gave in to Pride. After all, it was a part of them, it was just as essential for their everyday life as their own heart − they couldn't get rid of it, they were born with it, they were living with it, they were breathing with it. It was one of their multiple sides, it was the darker, the evil side. The unfortunate circumstances that could trigger the sinful behaviour were just oil to the fire.
Yet, there was something that he couldn't get over and it interfered with his daily life as the most serious Sins. It was what Humility had said to him. Do you even remember what it’s like to feel?
Did he? His sudden, wrathful answer must have been a mumbled of course. Of course, he felt emotions. He was full of pride. His feelings were chained to him and his nature. His demon nature, to be exact. Pride was like a prisoner that was kept in a cage. He could have ran away from his fate but there was no use. It would get back to him sooner or later and it would drive him totally crazy despite all his will. He knew how to feel. That was all he was doing every single day, in every single minute and second.
He felt the selfish desire of humans, their hunger for fame, success and love. Their arrogance and pettiness which made them do all sorts of crazy and unacceptable things. They wanted to take over the world, be greater than God himself and compete for the first place. Their arrogance was so disgusting in his eyes. They couldn't even bring up their own kids, how did they believe that they would be worthy of leading others? How? That was Seokjin's biggest question and he didn't seem to find an answer, not even after living for more than 1100 years as a Sin.
To make things clear, Pride wasn't fond of the idea that God existed. He didn't believe such nonsense until he saw that so-called creature of the world with his own eyes. After all, if God existed, why wouldn't he have a say in the matters of the world? Why wouldn't he stop the Sins as they were gathering more and more slaves as time went by?
He felt. Really, he felt lots of things. Just not the ones that Myungeun had mentioned and it bothered him as Hell. He couldn't really know what was going on with him, he felt as if he was about to burst. He felt as his throat was stuffed with little feathers that made it impossible for him to breathe properly. He was a dying whale that wanted to grasp for some air but he couldn't and the lack of oxygen suffocated him. He was underwater, drowning in confusion accompanied by all those bittersweet memories that came back thanks to her words. Memories of him and Myungeun. Why did they seem lovely all of a sudden? Why didn't they seem wrong or merely disgusting? Why? Just why?
Of course, as professional as he was, he tried his best to keep his internal turmoil at bay. After all, no one had a guide for a Sin who began to have feelings other than arrogance and selfishness, right? So what could he possibly do to feel like he was still in control of his emotions?
That's right. Yelling at a lower-class demon. Sadly (or not), it was Jaehwan's lucky day. He happened to be the one who came to Pride's mind as soon as he got back from Tokyo, so he turned out to be the one at whom he relieved his stress.
"Did you find out why Humility was looking for me?" he narrowed his eyebrows as he was looking at the other demon.
They were at Seokjin's luxurious suite in Seoul, both in human form, since it was what he had asked for. Jaehwan apparently wasn't glad to hear that Pride wanted to talk to him but he had no choice. He had to be there for him because if he didn't, he would die. Not like he didn't have the possibility to die even when he met up with his superior but at least he tried.
Pride knew that he didn't look up the issue. He was also aware that Jaehwan had no idea that the said Virtue had already visited him and gave him the reason herself. On the other hand, he was a Sin. He had fun toying with others, seeing as their eyelashes fluttered, as they gulped nervously or mumbled like an anxious teenager, searching for the right words to say. Jaehwan was no exception.
"Actually, I couldn't find anything..." his voice trailed off at the end, his gaze darting around the room. Seokjin rolled his eyes in annoyance. Just as expected.
"You couldn't or you didn't even try?" Seokjin took a step closer to him, almost forcing him with his mere presence to look up. He knew the truth, of course he knew, he could easily read his mind and on top of everything, he knew Jaehwan since the day the other guy became a demon, so he didn't have a tough job. It was funny how a previous hitman was acting like a scared little kitten in front of a Sin.
"I tried to but−"
"Don't lie to me, Jaehwan!" he raised his voice and took another step. His face was only a few inches apart from his and he used Jaehwan’s cowardly behaviour as an excuse to slap him in the face. He didn't protest and Seokjin couldn't actually help but gloat at his victory. He found joy in others' pain. He sometimes wondered if such merciless behaviour was a must when someone became a Sin.
"I-I-I'm sorry, sir," he stuttered like a little kid who had been reprimanded by his parents.
"You can be sorry."
"That won't happen again. I promise," he put his hand over his heart and even looked up to prove that he was thinking his words seriously.
The word 'promise' left a bitter aftertaste in Pride’s mouth. The promises from his past came to his mind and he couldn't get away from all the emotions that accompanied the sudden flashbacks.
"Damn it, Jaehwan!" he exclaimed furiously, making the other slightly bounce in surprise. Others would think that he was used to Pride's outbursts but most of the time he was characteristically quiet like a businessman who was already prepared for the worst outcome. Right now, even Jaehwan seemed to throw his usual calmness out of the window.
"Why would you promise something that you know you can't keep?" Pride flung his arms in the air because he had to occupy his hands if he didn't want to punch him in the face again. Even though his hands itched for a second round, he knew how to play well. He wanted to threaten Jaehwan, not beat him up.
"I want to try to keep it," the lower-class demon made an attempt to clear the rising tension in the air but the Sin merely shrugged his promise off.
"Instead of your petty promises, you can help me find a way to destroy a Virtue," he offered matter-of-factly but it was more of a demand than an actual favour. Jaehwan's eyes immediately widened in fear but Seokjin didn't expect anything less. After all, one of the highest-ranked demons was in front of him, of course he would be bewildered to hear that a Sin was about to destroy a Virtue.
"D-do you want to destroy Humility?" he panted in short, his voice a bit forlorn. Seokjin could clearly sense his bafflement and worry. He could see the little drops of sweat sliding down his cheeks. He could feel his dismay.
"I have to. She keeps getting on my nerves," he shrugged nonchalantly as he wasn't talking about killing a Virtue but suggesting a movie night out. Initially, he didn't intend to take away Myungeun’s life but that was the only solution to solve his current problem. To get rid of all those infuriating feelings and disturbing flashbacks.
"But you know that you will also die if you kill her with your selfish touch," Jaehwan warned him as if he didn't keep it in mind for already a millennium. Just like the touch of an entirely selfless soul could kill Pride, the touch of an entirely selfish soul could also kill Humility. That's why he tried to avoid her as much as possible. His life was too vulnerable for him. He was proud of what he had committed through all those years. He didn’t want to throw it away, that’s why he wanted to find another way rather than taking his own life.
"Like I don't know," he rebuked Jaehwan with his typically menacing voice, his patience already wearing thin. "That's why we have to find another way. Are you in or not?" he questioned cunningly in order to test the waters. Not like the lower-class demon had a choice. He was just fooling around but he sure enjoyed every bit of his one-man show.
"I'm in," Jaehwan bobbed his head in submission. His answer wasn't the most convincing one but at least it was an answer.
The game was already on. And it was really the matter of life and death.
Or should he say the matter of after-life and definite death?
🙝 14 🙞
The task was harder than he had expected.
It seemed that he had the silliest weakness out of all the 7 Deadly Sins. For Lust and Gluttony, it was any item that was previously blessed by Chastity or Temperance – aka their opposite Virtues. For Wrath, it was any weapon containing or coated in daffodil oil. A hairpin which was rumoured to be Greed’s brother was said to be Sin's weakness while Envy wasn’t particularly fond of pigeons. Seokjin didn’t have any information regarding Sloth’s possible triggers but who knew? Anything could happen when it came to the underworld’s creatures.
Meanwhile, he was there with that sentimental “a touch of an entirely selfless soul” garbage that could have been a line out of a fairy tale. He had outright laughed at Lucifer when he first told him about his weakness. It was after he had been promoted and he was announced to be the next Pride. He was actually a mere lower-class demon for almost 5 years when the previous Pride died of love. He fell in love with a human which was actually not a written rule but anyone knew down there that if a demon – let alone a Sin! − fell in love with a human, they wouldn’t be able to act as viciously as they were supposed to, therefore they wouldn’t do their job properly, therefore they would be fired – in single words killed.
How pathetic. Seokjin was sure that he would never make that mistake. He was just as sure about it as he was of his good looks. He wasn’t a good-looking royal only when he was the king of Goryeo but he was still handsome after his death. Nobody could disagree with it and honestly nobody would. It was a fact, Pride knew that he was the handsomest demon of all times.
Anyway, where was he? Oh yes, before he immersed into his state-of-the-art features, he wanted to fume because he couldn’t find a way to get rid of Humility without killing himself. He visited some ancient demons who were said to be demons even before people started to track time. He asked Jaehwan to look into previous Sins and Virtues’ history to see if there was any similar case. He even searched for Lust who couldn’t care less about his childish plays until he didn’t bring him some girls. He did everything, looked everywhere but to no avail.
“God must exist after all. It’s certainly his way to protect his beloved Virtues,” he lamented to his reflection in the mirror, standing in the living room of his suite in Dubai.
The current problem piqued his curiosity and nestled into his mind. It was absolutely annoying. It wasn’t like a pitiful bug that he could just kill with a wave of his hand. It was the most tremendous obstacle that he had to deal with. He knew that he was the one who created this whole mess but he couldn’t stop. Not now.
The problem was that he couldn’t even sleep because flashbacks and nightmares were hunting him, forcing him to wake up and make sure that he was alive, he was still Pride and Humility with her killer touch was nowhere to be found. As gibberish as it sounds, he couldn’t do anything to avoid the memories coming back, not even with all his supernatural powers. Sleeping wasn’t something that he could control. After he became a demon, he still opted for sleeping although he wasn’t a human being and he didn’t have human needs. He merely liked the feeling after a long sleep and the fact that he was alone in the dark with his thoughts. He was selfish, wasn’t he? He needed time to himself.
That time was now a thing of the past as he even gave up on sleeping to make sure that the memories wouldn’t follow him when he closed his eyes and became one with the dreamworld. If there was anything that he feared these days, it was sleeping. The memories didn’t just attack him but slapped him in the face, vigorously just like a fighter would do. Not once, not twice but multiple times. He felt a lot of things while being Pride but he never felt pain. The sudden spike of pain that was rushing through him once the memory lane grabbed him was anything but enjoyable. It was terrifying. Despite the fact that he didn’t have a beating heart anymore, he felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his ribcage every single time. The misery was excruciating.
He didn’t let it affect his job though but it seemed that Lucifer somehow found out that he was acting oddly in the past few weeks. At least, that’s what he assumed when Jaehwan informed him that the highest-ranked demon wanted to see him. Of course, Lucifer could have just teleported right beside Seokjin but Lucifer was a busy man. If one didn’t want to go to him in person, he wouldn’t want to waste his precious time with their business. Period.
Seokjin had one option and that was visiting the demon above all who had his special office on top of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. It was actually invisible to the human eye, the little humans thought that it wasn’t possible to enter the highest floor. How blind they were to all things supernatural.
As soon as Seokjin knocked on the door, he heard an inpatient yes from inside, so he swiftly opened it and entered his office. He had been there multiple times before – usually for a meeting after a century or when Lucifer announced a new Sin – but it was decorated differently than last time. Black used to dominate on the walls but now it was red, to be precise crimson-red. The huge windows still offered a magnificent view of the busy city streets while the paintings on the walls represented the 7 Sins and the demons’ activities. The guy sure had a chic yet modest style.
People must have imagined Lucifer as someone significantly tall with well-built muscles, so that he can scare away the lower-class demons. They might have pictured him with the eyes of a devil or a laugh of a maniac. Pride knew that they sometimes portrayed him with horns and almost naked but the truth couldn’t have been further from their paintings. Lucifer didn’t even look that extraordinary in his nicely ironed white shirt and black coat. He was elegant but not scary. Not yet.
“I’ve heard that you wanted to see me,” Seokjin broke the silence to get Lucifer’s attention who was busy discussing something with his newly-promoted assistant. The rumour had it that his assistant was a guy named Jackson Wang who was a street fighter in his previous life and his speciality was martial arts. According to some lower-class resources, he was fearless and merciless. He never lost a battle until one of the gang’s heads had enough and hit him with a car. He died on the spot but became Lucifer’s right hand almost immediately.
The two shifted their attention to Seokjin who casually started eyeing the new assistant top to bottom. That Jackson guy emulated his action and they stared at each other for a couple more seconds until Lucifer finally spoke up.
“Oh yes, Pride,” his face suddenly lit up at the sight of his – let’s be honest – favourite Sin. Seokjin saw a hint of bafflement in the assistant’s eye, he could tell right away that Jackson had no idea who he was until their boss said so. Or he just didn’t want to believe that he was so gorgeous. Whatever the case might be, the admiring expression on the lower-class demon’s face undoubtedly boosted his confidence.
“It’s nice to see you again. How long has it been since we’ve last met? 120 years? Maybe 220 years?” Lucifer chuckled with his unique nasally voice as he stood up from his desk and shook hands with the Sin. Then, he offered him a seat and dismissed his assistant. Jackson bowed respectfully and casted a last glance at Pride before he evaporated. “Ah, time really flies,” Lucifer dropped a weary sigh as he took a seat at his desk and looked up at the demon in front of him.
The frightening part was that this expression was unfathomable. At first glance, it seemed so easy to read his mind. However, after a few more seconds, one had to admit that his eyes contained the horrors of centuries and his features were oddly ancient. He was a handsome young man around the age of 24 or so – note that he wasn’t more handsome than Seokjin – but his features were old. Amidst all those horrible flashes of the past, no one could tell what he was thinking or planning. He was a book without a guideline.
“Well, anyway,” Lucifer cleared his throat to regain his composure. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands. “I wanted to see you because I’ve heard that you’ve been distracted lately by the lovely Humility,” he emphasised the name on purpose, glaring at the Sin who could have been surprised at his sudden attack but he was prepared for this kind of conversation.
“I’m not distracted. It’s just that I used to know her, she was my soon-to-be wife when I was still the king of Goryeo and we share some memories. But that’s all,” he claimed confidently. His voice wasn’t trailing off, his body wasn’t shaking and he didn’t want to avert his eyes elsewhere but Lucifer’s face. He tried his best to act as nonchalantly as possible.
“Hmm, interesting,” marvelled his boss with a dubious tone. Seokjin had nothing to hide, so even if Lucifer decided to look up their shared past, he would find the same. He wasn’t afraid, not even after his boss’ following sentence. “I’ve also heard that you are planning on killing her.”
“Yes, that’s true,” Seokjin nodded in agreement. He wasn’t surprised that news travelled fast in the underworld. After all, demons were blabbermouths just like humans. That was one of the rare similarities between the two species. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a way that would ensure that I would also make it out alive. Is there a way to get rid of her without me getting killed?” he inquired as he leant forward. He may have been roughish but at least he didn’t have to hide his true nature in front of Lucifer. His despicable side was one of the reasons why the highest-ranked demon was fond of him.
Lucifer didn’t even flinch. It seemed that Pride wasn’t the only Sin who made an attempt to kill a Virtue or Lucifer could merely imagine that he was capable of something so outrageous.
“Well, not that I know of,” he shrugged in a deadpan manner and pondered for a thought. “If you are completely selfish when you touch her, you can kill her, yes. But if she’s also completely selfless, she can also kill you. The only thing that you can do is to make her sin, so that she won’t be entirely selfless anymore but otherwise, I don’t think you can succeed.”
“And that’s not so easy to make a Virtue sin,” Seokjin remarked disappointedly as he ran a hand through his pink hair. He was frustrated as Hell, small wonder why his boss could easily sense his annoyance. That dratted weakness.
“Exactly,” Lucifer clicked his tongue. He leaned back and waited for Pride’s response, challengingly raising his eyebrows. He was sure that it wasn’t enough for the Sin to merely accept the situation as he was already eager to take actions as soon as possible.
Small wonder the highest-ranked demon couldn’t suppress a complacent grin when Seokjin proved that he wouldn’t let the chance slip through his fingers. He was more adamant than that.
“I’ll find a way,” he stated doggedly.
“Well, it’s up to you but if you get killed and we don’t meet until then, I really enjoyed working with you!” Lucifer clapped his hands like he was saying goodbye for real. Pride knew that he was usually playful but he couldn’t laugh with him this time. His life was really on the line. “You were a pretty cocky guy and I liked your confidence. Well done, my friend!” he winked at him but the other demon rolled his eyes.
“Ah, not so soon! I’m not dead,” he reprimanded his boss, slightly offended by the sudden farewell. He wasn’t sure if he would make it out alive but he wanted to believe that there was a way for him to live, even after killing Humility.
“Not yet but you never know what the future might hold for you,” Lucifer admonished his inferior but he was dead curious to see what Pride might pull out of his sleeve.
He was his favourite Sin after all. His reputation was really no joke and killing a Virtue would definitely boost his self-confidence. Not like the most arrogant and assertive Sin needed it though.
🙝 15 🙞
Seokjin was Pride for a reason.
His life as a human – to be precise, the end of his life – proved to be enough for the title after the previous one had died. He was an expert at manipulating people, lurking them, convincing them to sin and playing with their feelings. It didn’t only involve individuals but families, friendships and lovers, too. That day was no exception.
He was in Prague with a couple who were arguing over some silly question that they could have easily solved if they hadn’t been so stubborn. It was because the guy had applied for a two-week internship in Australia and his application was accepted but he hadn’t told the girl. When he finally told her the truth, of course she freaked out. They had been together for more than 2 years, so it was understandable that the female was on edge upon hearing the news. That’s when Pride stepped in.
“Look, sweetheart!” he whispered into the girl’s ears, already feeling her confidence shaking at his manipulation. He wasn’t the type to call humans by nicknames but it was a way to get closer to them and start messing with their thoughts. “He didn’t tell you what he was up to, right? So why should you stand by him and support his decision? You deserve someone better. Someone who thinks highly of his girlfriend and doesn’t hide the truth from you. Someone who is better than him. Someone who takes care of you well and spends more time with you. You deserve better, don’t you?” he reasoned as he smiled cryptically. His eyes were twinkling with desire, hunger for submission. Although the waiting was getting on his nerves, that was the part that he enjoyed the most.
The girl nibbled her lips as she was musing. The expression on her face indicated that she was more likely to believe the Sin than to ignore his words. After all, pride was a pretty tricky thing. It was everyone’s greatest weakness.
“We’ve been together for 2 years! If I had been really that important to you, you would have told me,” the female bellowed as tears began to stream down her face. Seokjin found tremendous pleasure in her pathetic act. She was so pitiful when she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. As he was a Sin, he was able to understand and speak every single language but words like this were the source of his entertainment, no matter the language.
Her boyfriend took a step closer to her and gently grabbed her wrist but she swiftly pushed herself out of his grasp. Pride prominently enjoyed what he was witnessing, he only wished to have a bag of popcorn and a bottle of Coke with him. The scene in front of him was exactly like watching a heart-breaking romance in the cinema.
The best part was about to come when a dazzling glow appeared beside them, forcing the demon to look away. Only when he felt the heat decreasing, did he actually avert his eyes back to the couple and the sudden visitor… who turned out to be Humility in a pure-white dress and an ever so kind smile.
He cursed quietly under his breath. They had never been in action together, small wonder why he was so dumbfounded to see her this time. How could she ruin his moment? How dared she show up when he was so into his little game? How and why?
Apart from the fact that Pride was undeniably wrathful, he also felt a bit uncomfortable. Memories of him and Myungeun started to bombard him and he couldn’t get rid of the sudden spike of insecurity that was rushing through him. He didn’t know how her mere presence could leave such an impact on him but he wasn’t fond of the feelings that she triggered. He wanted to shake her and grab her by the arm to shout at Humility for ruining his perfect moment – and his perfectly calm life – but the thought snapped him back to his senses. He couldn’t touch her. He could get hurt. He could get killed.
The Virtue sneaked a quick glance at him before turning to the man beside her.
“Why don’t you tell her why you’ve chosen this internship?” she suggested gently, her voice sickeningly sweet.
The guy hesitated a bit, so seeing his reluctance, Pride was prominently interested in his response. At first, it didn’t seem like he would take her advice but he still spoke up in the end much to Seokjin’s annoyance.
“Look, honey, I need to tell you something.”
“Don’t listen to him! He has already lied to you multiple times. Why would today be any different?” Pride clenched his jaw, his hands balled into fists. He couldn’t bear to be the loser, he wanted to win. Especially because Myungeun was his opponent. He wanted to win so badly.
“Just listen to him! How do you know that he won’t tell you the truth? Plus, it was the only time he didn’t tell you what was going on, you know that well,” Humility stated calmly, prodding the girl who was still struggling to decide between the Sin’s and the Virtue’s suggestion. Seokjin knew that he was telling fibs but who cared if he got what he wanted? Sins liked to play it dirty.
Before she could even muster a single word, the male suddenly confessed everything, taking both supernatural creatures by surprise.
“This internship is mandatory for me to get the job I’ve been thinking of. It has a pretty good salary, so that means that we could also move together without worrying about the bills if I got it for real. The only reason why I didn’t want to tell you because I wasn’t sure that I would get accepted,” the guy came to a halt to take a deep breath before he continued. “You know that I wouldn’t want to hurt you. You mean so much to me and this internship could benefit our future plans as well. If it weren’t for the job and its good salary, I wouldn’t even think of it. I love you so much, honey. Please, forgive me,” he pleaded frantically, his hands reaching out to the girl who was constantly sobbing silently. Tears were strolling down her cheeks, they were unstoppable like a river. The only thing that could soothe her nerves was the touch of her boyfriend, so she accepted his hand and let him hug her.
Seokjin let some profanities fly out of his mouth. He knew he lost; he was defeated by Humility and her ridiculously trivial methods. Of course, Sins used lies to manipulate humans but didn’t people like to believe in lies more than the truth? After all, they never knew who was honest or not, they could only trust themselves. This time, it seemed that it was the other way round.
“Why does this word mean so much to people?” Seokjin groaned at the sight of the hugging couple, unable to comprehend the ridiculous situation. He still couldn’t quite process the fact that he had just lost.
“Why?” Humility turned to him with a curious smile, her eyes forming little crescents. Seokjin felt like throwing up when the couple behind Humility started kissing each other like they didn’t know the definition of moderation.
“Wouldn’t you feel better if someone told you that they love you?” the Virtue queried and for the first time that day, Pride was actually thankful for her question. At least she distracted him. Not only with her question but also with her ethereal beauty, mesmerizing obsidian-black eyes, heart-shaped face, loving smile and those long lashes that painted semi circles under her eyes, adding to her pale palette.
“As a Sin, I don’t care about such things,” he shrugged as a pretentious frown was forming on his lips. Oh please, who needed silly I love yous when all he wanted was selfishness? Wrath, self-confidence, superiority and luxury. Love wasn’t a thing on his most wanted list. Not then, not ever.
“And what if I told you that I love you?” Myungeun whispered coyly, her voice barely audible.
She really glowed like a shooting star in the sky, even her eyes were twinkling. He couldn’t argue with her beauty and he would lie if he said that her presence didn’t make him feel all sorts of things. Like human things. He was a damn good liar after all and he kept it all to himself but he couldn’t deny that something was bubbling up inside him. He felt as if the past and the present suddenly collided and he could see all of their fragile memories and their present scene at the same time. The turmoil of emotions meant nothing but trouble.
“You wouldn’t lie to me,” Seokjin snarled at her, almost threatening her with his flickering eyes. Despite acting all cocky and invincible, he didn’t want to hear the word. He was a bit afraid what it would leave him with. Lust? Desire for forgiveness? Hate? Or maybe guilt? Oh no, thank you so much, he didn’t want any of those childish human feelings.
“I loved you and I still love you, Jin,” she confessed without a blink of an eye, struggling to keep her hands to herself. She reached out for a moment but let her hands drop instead when she realised that she couldn’t touch him. The pain in her eyes could tell more than anything; the black of her orbs never seemed so sorrowful before. “And you shouldn’t forget that Virtues can’t lie,” she reminded him with a brittle voice and evaporated right then and there, leaving the oh so mighty Pride looking like he was about to faint.
He felt as if the ground was about to crumble because she was damn right. Virtues couldn’t lie.
I loved you and I still love you, Jin.
How was that even possible? How could she love him after all these time, after all they had been through?
How could a Virtue fall in love with a Sin?
🙝 16 🙞
Living as a Sin never seemed so difficult before. Never in his 1100 years as Pride was as hard as the last few months thanks to that special someone who showed up like an unwanted visitor in the middle of a birthday party.
Seokjin had a hard time adjusting to the situation and his newly appeared feelings. He had no idea what was going on with him but the more he thought of Humility’s words, the less he could concentrate on his duty. Not only did he dread the night when he forced himself to stay awake but he began to dread the day, too. He was failing as a Sin and to make matters worse, more and more demon noticed his mistakes. Not like they initially liked him because it seemed that the whole underworld was against him but he couldn’t care less when he was the original and most serious Sin out of all. Demons were merely jealous of him and his success.
Anyway, the situation still infuriated him and he couldn’t do anything but to distract himself. So he began to question Humility’s words as he didn’t even believe in love in the first place. What was love anyway? Just a doomed connection made up by humans who wanted to find yet another way to destroy themselves and others. Considering that he had never been loved – even Myungeun turned against him in the end −, he had no idea what it was. He could see it every single day but he couldn’t feel it. He caught glimpses of kissing couples on the streets, loving gazes around the dinner table, failed attempts at holding each other’s hands and innocent quick pecks on the cheek. He could look at all those people and still couldn’t feel a thing.
What was so good about love? It would hurt you anyway. The moment your lover breaks up with you, the moment someone doesn’t even show interest, the moment they lie to you, humiliate you, make fun of you or use you for selfish purposes. They even hurt you when they die. You lose every single day but not only as a person, you also lose a piece of yourself. So what was so good about loss? He himself lost a lot of things during his 19 years as a human and he didn’t want more pain. He had suffered enough and Myungeun was only another source of pain. She made him believe that she would stay by him no matter what and she didn’t even consider helping him when he was about to unite the three kingdoms! Oh, Myungeun and her stupid promises… they were literally the death of him.
As Prince Seokjin, the only form of care that he knew of was punishment. He was always accused of crimes and lies, he was always bullied for the way he looked and he was humiliated just because he was born. He wasn’t born to receive love and he accepted it from a very early age. He even warned Myungeun not to get closer to him because he doesn’t deserve love, he was fated to be an outcast. He warned her not to take care of him because she would get hurt. It was her fault that she didn’t listen to him. Even though she thought – and Jin also believed in it for a long time – that she did good to him, she was the one who hurt him the most. He wanted to hate her for that but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t.
The thing that bothered him the most was that she claimed that she loved him, even before he became a Sin and until present day. He was perfectly aware of the fact that Virtues couldn’t lie, that’s why they were Virtues. Sins could casually use lies as a way to manipulate people but Virtues couldn’t. So how could she say that she loved him? How could she be so sure that he loved this arrogant, erratic, blatant, unattainable and thick-skinned man? How could she love a Sin?
Looking at their situation, Seokjin wasn’t the only one who couldn’t control his emotions. Though it couldn’t have been a problem for Myungeun since he didn’t hear anything from her after the day they had met in Prague. After all, was the fact that she loved a Sin was a sin itself? He highly doubted, it was merely peculiar. Love wasn’t a Sin, not even sex. Only sex without love was considered a Sin according to Lust and the rules of the underworld.
Not even Jaehwan wanted to ask what was bothering him, he almost looked like he was waiting for him to fail. There was a weird expression on his face which he couldn’t decipher. Nonetheless, Seokjin had bigger problems than Jaehwan’s ridiculous features, so he didn’t waste more time dwelling on such minor things.
It was the first time he was willing to find Humility without being told to do so, without dying to know why she was looking for him and without intending to kill her. He gave up on his initial plan as he realised that it was a mission impossible. He still wished to get rid of her but he had a different plan now.
Even without prying into her business, he had an idea where he could find her and when he found her daydreaming beside the Jeongbang Falls, sitting on a rock, enjoying as the chilly night wind blew through her hair, he wasn’t surprised at all. She was as sentimental as always.
“You are so predictable,” Pride cleared his throat to gain her attention but she didn’t even avert her eyes to the young man, she continued on staring at the ocean which was tinted greyish by the breath-taking moonlight.
It was already past 2 AM, the time when Humility usually stopped her activities and sat by the ocean for half an hour to recharge her batteries. It was rumoured that she had a special place where she let off some steam but demons weren’t interested in a Virtue’s favourite place, let alone Pride who always minded his business, he didn’t have time for gossip. Yet, he had a feeling that she might be beside the Jeongbang Falls as this was the place that she wanted to visit before she would die. She once shared it with the little Jin and considering that she never had the chance to fulfil her dream, the waterfall in Jeju was his first tip.
“But you are quite unpredictable,” she noted quietly as she peeped at the Sin, a gentle smile hiding in the corner of her rosy-coloured lips. Seokjin couldn’t believe how she stayed so tender after all this time, after all he had said to her but then he reminded himself that she was a Virtue after all. It was her job and unlike him, she was doing a pretty good job.
Pride shrugged his shoulders and casually sat down on a rock, not too close but not too far from Humility. A sudden jolt of tranquillity simmered through him as he let his eyes wander at the ocean. There was something oddly familiar about the whole situation. Myungeun was beside him, humming a child song to herself and looking at the waves crashing into the shore, washing over sand and smaller rocks. The scenery was new but the feeling was familiar. It reminded him of the times when they were beside the Palace’s lake or picking flowers in the garden. It represented the times of perfect serendipity, ethereal calmness and that so-called purity of youth. It was like finding a safe haven in a tangled mess.
The sudden nostalgic bitterness attacked his mind first, bombarding him with flashbacks. Then, it moved on to his heart, squeezing it with those human feelings that he hadn’t experienced in a millennium. He could have said that it scared him but he had already given in to all those emotions. There was no use; the disease was already spreading through his whole body and his whole being. A Sin lost to a Virtue and she didn’t even have an idea that she was slowly destroying him as a Sin and bringing his human self to surface.
“Why did you really want to see me?” Pride broke the pleasant silence that was covering them like a warm blanket on a cold winter night.
Poor girl didn’t think that he would question her out of the blue, therefore she couldn’t help but wince in surprise. Her cheeks were glowing in embarrassment, her ears turning red. For the second time already, she nibbled her lips. Seokjin didn’t even attempt to suppress his honest reaction this time. The thought that she hadn’t changed a bit raised his lips into a small smile.
“I missed you,” she drawled nervously.
“Why?” Seokjin raised his eyebrows, throwing caution to the wind. He knew that it would be the last time he saw her, so he didn’t want to beat around the bush. It was now or never.
“Because I died so quickly, I couldn’t even say what I wanted to say to you and the feeling left me with a pang of hollowness in my chest,” she admitted, her voice slightly shaking. Her gaze darted around the beach but never settled on Seokjin’s face. She wasn’t ready to face him but she wasn’t even sure that she would ever be.
The reunion took her by surprise and she had no idea what she should expect from the Sin. She saw him being frustrated, yelling at her, his eyes on fire like he was about to kill her on the spot. She saw him being disappointed, hands balled into fists, his whole body ready for a fight. She saw him being confused, unable to understand the feelings of humans, unable to feel the love between the girl and the boy in Prague. Nonetheless, she could feel the love of the couple and that’s why she knew that he wouldn’t be able to convince them. Their love was stronger than their self-love.
There were countless times when Humility couldn’t succeed because humans weren’t strong enough to say no to their selfish desires but she tried her best to persuade them to change. Sometimes it wasn’t enough but at least she tried.
Every Virtue knew that the world lost its balance and the demons started to take over the world but they couldn’t give up. They were chosen to be Virtues because their chastity, forgiveness, generosity, kindness, diligence, temperance or humility changed lives. She had definitely changed lives – including Seokjin’s − but so did the previous Pride and she couldn’t win in Jin’s case. That’s why she was so eager to become a Virtue; she wanted to win and save lives. She didn’t want to see humans transforming into something so unpredictable and evil as Seokjin did all those years ago. She lived almost 500 years as an angel when she finally had the chance to become a Virtue and she didn’t hesitate to accept the offer.
“Why?” Seokjin exclaimed frantically, more furious than last time. The sudden change in his behaviour made her heart leap and she unconsciously looked for his eyes. His coal-black eyes were seriously dangerous and searing; they weren’t flames, they were bigger than that. They were hundreds of flames united in a huge, devastating one. “Why do you want to say a proper goodbye to me when you know I don’t deserve it? Why do you love me when you know I’m rotten as hell? Why do you do this to me? Why can’t you just live in your perfect Virtue world and leave me alone? Why do you have to make me feel guilty for spoiling those people?”
His scream echoed back from the stones, sounding like dreary pleadings in the chilly spring dawn. His words were fragile like a raindrop that could reach the ground anytime and become one with it. Their relationship was cursed from the beginning and the more he got closer to her, the more he was able to see it. They should have never met, thus they should have never fallen in love. It was a love written in the stars, written for tragedy, nothing else.
As a human, he was unable to change for her and save her from dying and as a Sin, he was unable to see why she turned against him and why she loved him after she had died in his arms. In both forms of his life, he reckoned that he merely wanted to protect her from himself yet he didn’t realise that all he wanted to do was to protect her from his love. Deep inside, he always had a feeling that he would hurt the people around him and he wanted to avoid the inevitable as much as possible.
So why was it so hard for her to see his struggle? Why couldn’t she realise that he wanted to save her from himself? From his love?
“I guess you already know that you can’t decide who you fall in love with, right?” Humility let out an aghast sigh, her words sending shivers down his spine.
He couldn’t hold himself back anymore, he couldn’t pacify his fast-paced thoughts and his human self that was about to take control of him. He knew what he was about to do, so he wasn’t scared. He swiftly reached out to Humility, grabbed her hand and held it to his heart, even though he knew that she couldn’t feel its beating. Yet, he could already feel the crazy burning in his veins. His body was on fire, his chest was squeezing painfully while the excruciating pain was slowly tearing him apart. As the pain escalated, his breathing became more and more ragged.
“What are you doing, Jin?” Humility’s eyes widened in both shock and fear. She certainly felt a tad bit of pain but it wasn’t like the one she had imagined. She wasn’t suffering as the Sin apparently did. “You are killing yourself!” she screamed frantically while she was trying to escape from his grasp but he was stronger than ever. He wouldn’t let go of her.
“Don’t you dare to let go of me!” he cried out helplessly, doubling over. The Virtue was gasping for air, she made countless attempts to yank her hand away from him but he was too adamant.
Why? And why didn’t she feel that unbearable pain that she should have? It was said that if an entirely selfish soul touches her for a long time, she would get hurt and she would feel like dying again. Nonetheless, she didn’t feel like the last time she was shot. Apart from a little aching, she was fine. So what was going on?
“I can’t let you die!”
“But you have to let me!” he sucked in a breath, his eyes tearing up. His face was now practically snuggled to her chest, still not causing any pain. He was relieved after all. His plan seemed to work, she was still safe. Let me die in your arms, he wanted to say but his mouth wouldn’t budge.
“Jin, don’t do this! Let go of me, please! I want to save you!” Myungeun shook him, still trying to peel himself off of her.
Tears began to well up in her eyes, spilling down her face and landing on Jin’s pale skin. One by one. They became little dots on the thick paper that was his handsome face. He never looked more fragile than that time as he was in her arms, his eyelashes shaking, his body trembling, his hands clinging onto her body and his eyes out of focus.
“Last time I couldn’t save you! Let me do it this time!” he pleaded in between coughs, his voice strangely weak. The oh so mighty Pride threw away his mask and she could see his bare self without that stupid masquerade. His soul was in front of her, bleeding out with each passing second. The fact that he didn’t want her to help stung her right at the heart.
“I-I can’t! Please, Jin, please…” she cried out in horror. Her vision became blurry due to the amount of tears that started to slide down her cheeks. She wanted to wipe them away but Pride still held onto her like she was his last string of hope. Maybe she was. But for what?
“Myungeun…” he rolled her name off his tongue in a surprisingly gentle way. She couldn’t help but weep more. No one had called her by her real name for hundreds of years. “Let me keep my promise this time,” he asked tenderly, coughing a bit more. She didn’t know which one of their promises he was currently talking about.
“What promise?”
“I don’t want to be a narcissist anymore. I want to save you,” he bawled in tears, his voice shaky and brittle. He coughed up blood, the spots painting his fancy white shirt crimson-red, just like on the days when he was killing off hundreds of innocent people as Goryeo’s king. The only difference was that this time it was his own blood.
“But how?” she managed a sentence out, her eyes full of remorse. If he died in her arms, she didn’t know how she would bear the sight of his dead body, let alone the memory that would hunt her.
“By killing myself,” he muttered, his voice barely a whisper. There was a trace of smile playing on his lips that made her heart ache even more. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore. You don’t have to think of me anymore,” he added and his words were like bullets sent through her heart. He mumbled something about love with his last breath but she couldn’t comprehend it. He closed his eyes sooner than she could have prepared herself and he was already gone. He broke into tiny little pieces like glass and the wind carried all of them far, far away.
She let out a heart-wrenching scream, a cry of a girl who lost her precious love for the second time. The first time, she couldn’t even say goodbye and no matter how evil he became, she still wanted to say to him what she couldn’t tell him before. On the other hand, she had the chance to confess to him only when they were already the creatures of the after-life who were supposed to carry on accompanying the humans’ lives. Little did she know that the long-awaited confession that she wanted to share with Seokjin hurt him so much that he started to experience human feelings again.
That day by the Jeongbang Falls was the second time when she couldn’t say the words to him because he was on the verge of dying. Seokjin already knew that she loved him but she still felt the need to bid a proper farewell, even though she couldn’t let go of him… she didn’t want to.
The pain Pride was going through wasn’t physical, it was the pain caused by heart-break. She didn’t feel such pain, not even when he shot an arrow through her heart and she was dying. That was another kind of pain; almost peaceful, slow yet constant like a lovely piano piece. This one was rather raw, full of emotions, fire and ashes, blood and tears. How could he do it for her? How could he know that she wouldn’t get hurt when he touches her?
Oh, how Myungeun truly wished that she had died with him like the first time! She wanted to be in his arms instead of holding Seokjin’s body. It was odd how history repeated itself in the opposite way. It must have been their fate. The fate of star-crossed lovers.
Humility looked at her hands with terror, already expecting burnt spots all over her body. Contrary to her expectations, all she could see was an ink tattoo with Pride’s name. Not until she saw the Sin’s name did it finally dawn on her why she wasn’t affected by his touch. She assumed that his human side took control of him, so he wasn’t completely selfish when he touched her and that’s why he couldn’t scar her. On the other hand, she was still entirely selfless and that’s why she could destroy his demon side. Unfortunately, his human side wasn’t strong enough to bear the transformation and that’s why he died.
Humility should have been happy because defeating a Sin was considered a success, yet all she felt in the following centuries was bitterness. Demons took advantage of the situation, especially Jaehwan who became the new Pride. Lucifer chose him personally since he knew the guy’s little secret, he knew that Jaehwan found a way to defeat Humility but because he was so selfish and sought after the title of Pride, he didn’t tell him and Seokjin already lost a bit of his demon abilities, so he couldn’t sense that he was lying. The only way Jin could have ended his pain was to get rid of his memories once and for all and that meant taking Lucifer’s place. If he killed Lucifer, he would immediately become the new one and his memories would be erased.
Kim Seokjin might not have been humble, light-hearted and innocent all his life but he wasn’t born to be Pride, he became one under the wrong circumstances. On the contrary, he chose to change his fate for the first time in his life and only he knew if it was really worth it. After a long time, he really felt like living, he was able to feel all those things Myungeun had mentioned before.
He realised on the verge of dying that he was loved. During his human life, during his demon life, whenever he was beside Myungeun, he was loved. He was just too blind to see it.
The more she thought about it, the more tears she shed. Even though she wasn’t the one who died that day, she felt like dying with him. A piece of her soul left her and accompanied Seokjin to God knows where. They would hold hands through the white light together. They would be together forever.
Just like they had promised each other all those years ago.
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