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acidxinxwonderland · 10 months

Text

corruption has never been so sweet

18 plus smut shot! Minors DNI!!!

Pairing: Glamrock Freddy x F!Reader Summary: Ever since you began taking the night shift as a security guard at the Mega Pizzaplex, Freddy always kept you company throughout the night. You were spoiled with his attention to say the very least, but the one time he doesn't show up you are bound and determined to find him. Once you do, it turns into a night the both of you will never forget.

Warnings: Size difference, VERY strong ABO vibes, knotting, rutting, unrealistic sex, breeding briefly mentioned, dom feddy, marking, bonding, a little bit of blood, robot/human

Word Count: 6.5k A/N: This is the most degenerate thing I have EVER written for Freddy, just pure self indulgence to tide me over while I write the longer fic involving him, hope you enjoy! As mentioned in the warnings this has STRONG ABO vibes, it's just written in my own way so be warned of the shameless smut, Freddy is basically an alpha. Also... I’m sorry LMAO. Keep your eyes out for a gender neutral version in the next few weeks for all you NBs out there B) Here is the ao3 link in case that’s more your style: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48255442

Being a night guard at the Mega Pizzaplex was always something you enjoyed since you began working here seven months back, despite all the walking and the sticky situations you have found yourself in you always felt comfort in a certain animatronic bear you've come to love dearly. This bear always made sure you had company during your nightly rounds, mindless chatter about his day and sharing fun jokes. Every night he would find you to walk along with you, yet tonight you haven’t seen him once.

You thought at first maybe he was in need of repairs and was stuck in parts and services for the night but when you checked to see he wasn’t there. He’s never done this to you before, it fills you with concern so you thought you might as well do a wellness check on your good friend.

You find yourself walking down Rockstar Row halfway into your shift, you weren’t supposed to survey this area yet but you just had to make sure he was okay. You peer into each green room, giving Chica a wave when passing hers while making your way to Freddy’s. While strolling past the large window you see a glimpse of him through a sliver of the red curtain, now that you know he was there you pick up your pace. You go to the door and immediately swipe your badge to slide it open.

Once the door was open you see Freddy was standing in front of the mirror, seemingly staring at his own reflection with his large hands on each side of the desk before snapping his attention towards you. It takes you seconds to realize something was off with him.

“Ah, hey Freddy. Just wanted to check in on you, I noticed you didn’t find me and well… Here I am.” You let out a small nervous chuckle, giving the robotic bear a kind smile.

“Superstar, I am truly sorry but… You must stay away tonight.” Freddy growls out in this deep, animalistic voice you never heard before, it causes the hairs to stand on the back of your neck. He pushes himself off from the mirrors table to take a step away from you. “I... I am not right.”

An expression of concern falls on your features while you notice his disheveled state. You were worried before but now the feeling was tenfold, wanting to help the animatronic you fell in love with.

“Not right? Well… I don’t mind being here if you need the support.” You say in a careful tone, almost as if you were talking to a wild animal. You take a step closer and he immediately goes back, causing a frown to tug at your lips.

“Please, it is not a good idea for you to be here at this moment.” While he talks you notice the way he rumbles each word in this dangerous tone that sends shivers up your spine.

“You could never scare me bud, I’m here for you. What’s going on with you? Do you have a glitch of some sorts?” You get even closer and this time he doesn’t back away, glowing blue optics zoning in on you.

“Do not act coy with me.” He grumbles out in that same deep tone. “Do not pretend like you do not know what is going on.” You’ve never heard him speak to you in such a way, feeling your heart plunging down to your stomach as the alarm bells in your head finally go off.

This time it was his turn to approach you and for you to back away. Although you don’t get very far, in a blink of an eye his immense paw-like hands enclose around your shoulders, continuing forward so he could roughly push you up against a wall.

“You must have done this to me, if not you then who else?” He snarls down at you, baring his fangs.

Your eyes widen, feeling the smallest sense of fear as you scramble to speak. “F-Freddy! I don’t k-know what you’re talking about!” You press your hands up against his chest plate, pushing at him despite knowing full well you would not be able to get him off of you no matter how much you tried.

“You don't?” He speaks sharply, leaning in closer to you with the look of a predator sizing its prey. “Then tell me why your scent alone has been affecting me so heavily? Why do you make me feel this way? You must have done something to me, corrupted me somehow.”

You are completely taken aback by his words, it almost felt like you were talking to an entirely different animatronic yet deep down you knew that this was still the same bear you love so dearly.

“I promise you, whatever is happening to you it has n-nothing to do with me. Please trust me on this.” You are desperate while you talk, giving him a pleading look in hopes of convincing him.

His grip on your shoulder loosens as he registers what you say, closing his eyes tightly to regain his composure. “You… Your voice, your scent.” He whispers, brows furrowing. His massive paw-like hands trail down your arm, seeming to begin to calm down..

His eyes slide open, giving you a look of remorse that brings you a sense of familiarity once again. “You’re right superstar, I am truly sorry for what I’ve just done. This was not appropriate of me at all. Please, you need- no, you have to leave.”

You feel a twinge of annoyance from his demand. “No.” You start sternly, shooting him a glare. “You really think I’m going to up and leave after what just happened? Something is clearly wrong Freddy. You’ve got to tell me bud, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on with you.”

“I-” He looks off to the side, reluctantly taking his hands away from your arms. “I don’t know exactly what I am experiencing but… I have an idea as to what it could be.” Freddy sounded so distraught, it was so strange for you to see him in such a state.

Your eyes soften from his clear confusion, still feeling deep concern for the bear in front of you.

“That’s okay that you don’t know.” You place a hand on his large arm and he appears to stiffen from your touch. “Why don’t you break it down, what are your um… Symptoms?” As soon as you asked this question his expression turned into one of shame.

He lets out a mechanical sigh, forcing himself to speak. “Well… Everything about you has been making me ache in a way I never felt before. This has been an issue since we first met, but recently it has gotten much worse. It’s been… Frustrating to say the least.”

Your eyes widened as he explained what was happening to him. A deep blush settles upon your cheeks as your already racing heart goes into turbo mode. What the hell was he even talking about?! Was he basically admitting he had sexual feelings towards you?

“W-what do you mean I make you ache. I-in what way?” You stutter out the question, convincing yourself that you had it all wrong.

“Do I really need to explain it?” Freddy growls out in this low, husky tone. You shudder out from his voice alone, body going rigid as he places a hand against the wall besides your head. “Although there is something I do know… The only reasonable explanation I have found for these feelings is a similar pattern of certain species of animals who are afflicted heavily when they enter a… mating season.” He cringes at the last words, having to look away from you in embarrassment.

You are in complete shock at his words, feeling your entire body get impossibly warm as your eyes flicker to his muzzle. You try to process what he is saying. Matching patterns of certain species of animals… He’s a robotic bear so that means…

“You’re- you’re experiencing a rut.” You bluntly state. “Because of me..? You don’t feel this way towards anyone else?”

“Yes superstar. You are the only one who is making me feel this way.” He mutters the answer out, groaning lowly. “It is just you. I’ve never experienced this before… I can’t think straight.”

The frustration was clear in his voice and you rub his large arm up and down soothingly. Despite the sympathy you feel towards him you feel like you are in a dream. It was hard to wrap your head around the fact that the animatronic bear made to entertain was basically in heat and it’s all your fault. This whole situation causes your own arousal to stir deep within your core, trying your best to push past it as you give him a reassuring look.

“It’s going to be okay Freddy. Just try your best to relax for me, alright? Tell me, what’s going through your mind right now?” You keep your voice calm despite how you hear your own heart beat pounding wildly in your ears. You’re curious, having the need to know more.

“It’s like… My thoughts are muddled by your scent.” He says in a choked voice, obviously not too pleased to be confessing such things to you. “All I can think of is certain images of you, even before this. I tried my best to edit my own code when things got too confusing, but it got harder and harder every time, reappearing every time I see you. Now no matter what I do I can’t get rid of it.” He growls out the last part, frustrated beyond belief. “What have you done to me, superstar?”

All you can do for a few moments is stare up at him as the weight of his words sink in. He asked a very valid question, what did you do to him? You basically corrupted his programming merely by existing!

“Freddy, I am so sorry. I swear to you I did not mean to cause any of this.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! Do you seriously think I somehow purposefully did this to you?!”

Freddy falls silent for a moment, looking down at the floor between the two of you. “I did think so, yes.”

You let out a laugh of disbelief and he looks back up at you with curious eyes. You let your head fall back against the wall you were still trapped against. “You realize how insane this is right?”

Freddy lets out a huff, leaning in closer. “You’re the one who made me like this superstar, whether you meant to or not.” His eyes flickered to your lips and you felt like you were going to die right then and there. A frustrated groan leaves him, finally pushing himself off of you and taking a step away. “The last measure I can take is to isolate myself completely until these feelings pass.”

You stay leaning up against the wall, eyes trailing up and down his large frame. If he isolates himself he wouldn’t be able to go through with his daily duties, it could get him in trouble, even decommissioned.

“It isn’t the last measure.” You murmur out, catching his attention.

“... What are you implying?” He cautiously asks.

You push yourself off the wall, taking a step towards him as your face feels warmer than ever before. “I’m implying,” You begin, taking his hand into yours. “I-I can help you. Since you’ve been honest with me, I’ll be honest with you. I have had desires for you since the day we met, both romantic and sexual. Since I am the one who caused this mess for you then I will fix it.”

Freddy stares at your linked hands, his brows knitting together. “Superstar… I…” He trails off before letting out a low growl that causes goose bumps to rise. “You do not need to do this. I am worried for your safety.” Despite his words he grabs onto your waist with his free hand and pulls you closer to him. “I do not wish to harm you.”

Warmth rushes to your cheeks as you are brought up against him, mustering a smile of reassurance. “Hey, you warned me, didn’t you? If I end up getting hurt somehow, it’ll be my fault, not yours. I’m coming into this knowing what is in store for me.” You untangle your hand with his to place it against his jaw, watching with interest as he immediately leaned into your touch. “Rut or not, I know you. I don't think you could ever seriously injure me even if you wanted to. Let me help you.”

Freddy’s face softens at your words, the hand on your waist tightens. “Are you sure…?” He asks with hesitation in his tone.

“I’m sure Freddy. But… How are we going to do this, because erm, as far as I know you’re pretty much a ken doll.” You glance down and he tilts his head to the side.

“Ken doll…?” He repeats quizzically.

“Yeah, like, not having a penis.” Your face flushes, looking off to the side as he leans in to you, his muzzle right next to your ear.

“If you must know, superstar. I am very well endowed.”

Your breath catches in your throat. “Oh… I um, I see.” You muster out, feeling so taken aback in the moment. You can’t even bring yourself to look at him.

“Does this change anything?” He questions you in a tone dripping with yearning. He brings his hand up to your face, placing a gentle finger underneath your chin and tilting your head up towards him. “You must tell me now, I don’t know how much longer I can hold back.”

You feel your heart skip a beat from the gentle touch, the bear you fell in love with shining through. You stare up at him now, eyes searching his own. It was clear your silence felt like eternity to him, his grip tightening on your waist to the point it almost hurt. You didn’t allow yourself to over think, finally giving him a firm nod.

“Nothing has changed. I want you.”

Freddy’s blue optics darken at your words, it appeared that was all you needed to say. He didn’t say anything else, lifting your body up with his powerful arms to push you back up against the wall.

His muzzle clashes against your lips with greed, It was cold from his alloy but you can feel every ounce of hunger from him through the gesture. Your arms fall around his neck, squeezing your eyes closed as you return the kiss with matched desire. You were already dizzy by the entire thing, feeling the air from your lungs escape you until he finally pulls away to bury his face in your neck while letting out a guttural growl.

“You smell so good my star.” Freddy rumbles, using his mouth to nip at the skin that causes small whimpers to leave your lips due to how sensitive you are. “Gods, and you sound so good too. I have been wanting you for so long.” He presses his hips firmly against your clothed sex, the feeling makes you drip with arousal.

“Freddy.” You whine out, starting to helplessly grind up against him. “M-me too. So, so long. I need you.”

“And you have me.” He murmurs possessively, one of his hands sliding down to your bottom and giving a firm squeeze. He swiftly runs his claw through the buttons of your shirt, popping each one off the material to expose your bare chest.

He leans back to look down at you, a low groan leaving him just from the mere sight of you. “Pretty girl.” Freddy rolls his hips up against yours, squeezing his eyes tight from the feeling it provided.

You take his clear sensitivity to your advantage, rubbing into him hard and fast as moans tumble out past your mouth. “Oh my sweet star.” He groans, keeping you held up with one hand as the other goes in between your legs to press the palm of his hand up against your sex.

You squirm in place as the feelings of pleasure crash down onto you, everything is going so fast and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He pushes up into your wet heat with a low growl, peering down at you with predatory optics.

“I am going to make you mine.” He snarls, bearing his teeth before ripping the front of your leggings and underwear with his claws in one go. You would yell at him for ruining your clothes if it wasn’t for his large knuckle pressing down onto your clit. You let out a sharp gasp as he moves against your engorged nub before plunging a finger deep inside of you with no warning.

Your head hits hard against the wall behind you, his finger was so big, even just that filled you up. He wiggled it back and forth, letting out a small grunt. “You are soaking wet superstar, no wonder your scent affects me so heavily.” He marvels in a gruff tone, beginning to slip his finger in and out of you at a brisk pace.

“Oh, oh fuck Freddy. God, please.” Your mouth was agape, panting out while you flutter around the intrusion, your mind was already going blank and it only gets worse when he shoves a second finger into your hole.

He leans down to bite at the neck as if he was claiming his prize, making you buck up against him as he sets a brutal pace. He pushes you harder up against the wall and you swear you see stars.

“I can’t hold back anymore superstar. I must take you now.” He warns in a low tone.

Your nails dig into the paint of his metal, feeling your thighs tremble from his words. “Take me, please take me.” You babble, scratching at his surface with eyes full of carnal desire. “I need it so badly.”

As soon as you give him full consent he pulls his fingers out, keeping you in place against the wall while he shuffles a little away from you. Your eyes trail down to his pelvic plate with bated breath, feeling eager to see what was underneath. You watch as it slides open and the large, girthy shaft emerges makes you audibly gasp. Never have you seen something such as this, it didn’t even look human, covered in soft silicone skin that looked ever so tantalizing.

“I cannot guarantee you this will not be a bit painful.” His words rumble out of him in a deep guttural pitch.

“I can handle a little pain.” You murmur out, goggling at the exotic cock right in front of you, noticing the knot at the base that makes your heart sink.

“I know you can, my superstar.” Freddy grabs the base, pumping it before lining it up to your dripping hole, he lets out a low groan as he pushes the engorged head inside of you. “My gods.” He squeezed his eyes closed once again, it was clear he was trying his best to take it slow for you as he pushed into you.

Your back arches as the large shaft stretches you out thoroughly, letting out a strangled cry from the burning sensation deep inside of you. “Oh- oh my god, you’re so fucking big.” You look down, the sight of his cock making its way inside of you made you feel like you were going to faint.

“Bear with it.” He grunts, leaning in till your foreheads touch. “You can do it, you can take it.” The hand once on his member went down to your clit, rubbing at it in an attempt to outweigh the pain with pleasure.

You let out whimpers, getting completely lost in the moment. You buck your hips, causing his cock to push in even deeper and making you both let out a gasp. He was all the way inside you now, his pronounced head pushing up against your cervix almost painfully.

Your legs kick up into the air instinctively as he continues to stimulate your sensitive nub, clenching tight around him and making him let out a long sigh of pleasure.

“Y-you can go. Please go, give me your all.” You don’t even recognize yourself as you speak, finally realizing you needed this just as much as he did.

Freddy doesn’t say a word, grabbing onto your waist with a bruising grip while drawing himself out almost all the way before slamming right back into your tight heat. Your hole gives and stretches under the assault, a loud crying ripping through your throat as he begins to pump in and out of you at a barbaric speed.

You feel your body slide up against the wall only to be pulled right back down onto his cock, the intense pounding making your eyes roll to the back of your head, only able to moan out in ecstasy as his animalistic grunts mix in.

“Take it all superstar, offer yourself to me completely. Become mine.” He huffs out in this possessive tone that makes you shiver.

“I’m yours, I’m all yours!” You gasp out, trying to adjust to the cock ramming in and out of you with no remorse. “Oh, oh god, you-you’re going to make me cum!”

“Already?” He growls, letting out a deep chuckle. “Let go for me starlight, let me see you come undone.”

That’s all you needed to hear, your wet walls clamping hard around him as you get thrown into a hard climax, practically screaming as he fucks you through it. He lets out a long groan as you convulse around him, your mind going completely blank as you continue to cry out.

“Good girl.” Freddy praises through grunts, thrusting into you with unrestrained movements that are making you lose your mind. “Feel so good wrapped around me, so tight.”

He completely pulls out of you, leaving you confused before he grabs you with his rough hands and walks over to the plush red couch in his green room. He throws you on it, fisting his cock while giving you a dangerous look.

“Hands and knees.” He orders and with the tone he used it was clear there was no room for hesitation.

You scramble into position, keeping your lower half high in the air as if you were presenting to him. “Please give me more.” You whine, swaying your hips from side to side.

Freddy lets out a deep groan just from the sight of you. You feel the cushion dip as he gets into position, one knee on the couch with his other foot planted on the ground.

“Oh I’m going to give it to you alright.” He gruffs, grabbing a hold of each side of your hips before shoving himself right back into your tight hole. You don’t even get a split second to adjust, continuing that relentless pace he set before. The new angle does wonders for you, shouting out in pleasure and pain from the way he hit your cervix.

Every thrust sends your body lurching forward, his strong grip on you was the only reason you weren’t on the other side of the couch by now. You try to lift your upper half to look back at him but he places a hand on your back and shoves you right down onto the cushions.

“Stay down.” He snarls riotously, digging the claws on your hip into your skin.

You comply, clawing at the couch underneath you as you helplessly cry out. You can can't even really hear yourself, the sound of your heart hammering in your ears as you feel your walls open up for him more and more, the pleasure piling on.

“Who do you belong to, superstar?” You barely hear his question but as soon as it registers you don’t think twice.

“You! I belong to you!” You buck back against him, hungry for more. You feel yourself lost in the sensation, focused on him and how good he was making you feel. The drag of his big textured cock along your walls was driving you to the brink of insanity.

“Let me mark you superstar. I want to claim you as my own. Be mine and only mine.” His hand goes into your hair, tugging it upwards to make your back arch while savagely grunting with each thrust. He leans down, covering your body with his own as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

You were willing to do anything to please him, tears welling up in your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure as you babble out. “Yes! I’ll be y-yours. Mark me!”

As soon as you give the go ahead his sharp fangs sink into the junction of your neck, making you weep out in both pain and pleasure. You feel him break skin, a small stream of warmth trickling down your neck.

After a few moments he lets go, keeping himself pressed up against your back as he humps into your twitching tunnel. “All mine, my mate.” He nuzzles into your neck and you relish in his affection. “You’re my good girl, do you have any idea how long I have waited to claim my prize?”

You can’t even muster the strength to answer him as lewd noises tumble out of your mouth, letting out a yelp as his cock hits the perfect spot. “Fuck, oh, oh yes Freddy, r-right there!”

Once again you are pushed into a hard climax, squeezing down onto his massive cock as your own juices run down your thighs. “Oh, oh my god!” He lets go of your hair and you fall down onto the cushions, weakly clawing at the fabric as you feel your energy getting zapped from you. He didn’t slow down, ruthlessly slamming into you repeatedly.

“Take it.” He speaks close to your ear, using your slick juices to pave the way for more wild, frenzied thrusts. “You are so beautiful like this.”

You writhe underneath him, not being able to keep up with the massive shaft pumping into your quivering core. Before you know it he pulls out once again to flip you onto your back, grabbing onto your legs and pushing them high into the air towards your body before slamming right back in. The new angle made you scream out in ecstasy, staring up at him with wide, tear filled eyes.

You enjoyed this position, being able to see the giant bear in full view as he violently fucks your tight cunt raw. Your face contorted in pleasure, calling out his name over and over again like a mantra. His paw goes back to your clit, only needing to give the slightest of friction before you cum again, your back arching off the couch as you go through the motions of a hard climax.

“That’s a good girl. Look at you, my sweet little prey. I’m going to breed you so good.”

Something about him saying that to you made you realize the true power he had over you, something you have never let anyone else have.

“Oh, oh fuck, please F-Freddy, please!”

Freddy grunts out savagely, his giant paw enclosing around your neck as he leans in closer, carnal lust evident in his blue eyes. “Please what superstar, what do you want?”

You feel your face flush from his question, panting out harshly as you feel his member twitch inside of you. His thrusts became more shallow, pounding in so deep you feel shock waves pulsing through your much smaller body.

“P-please, please breed me!” You feel embarrassed from your own words, wanting to look away but keeping your hazy eyes full of tears trained on his own. “I-I need it, I need you to cum inside of me.”

Your pleading appeared to only make him more aggressive, his clawed hand tightening around your neck to restrict your breathing.

“Superstar,” He struggled to get out what he needed to say in between each feral grunt that came from deep within. “You belong to me until the end of time. My mate… Mine!” He roars out the last word, shoving himself deep inside of you and pushing his knot into your hole.

You let out a soundless cry, body going limp as you feel thick ropes of his seed coating your insides. Tears slip down your cheek, enjoying the burning pain from the stretch of his knot as you rasp out breaths. “Oh, oh Freddy.” You gasp, trying your best to wrap your head around all that had just happened between the two of you.

“My sweet superstar.” He bellows, looking down at you with pure affection. His large arms wrap around your waist carefully, picking you up into a tight embrace. His hands rub up and down your shaking body, pressing his muzzle against your hair. “You did so wonderfully, took it all so well.”

You keep your head buried in his neck, panting out against metal as you feel a deep sense of comfort from his affectionate words. “F-Freddy,” You manage to murmur out despite how empty your head felt at the moment. “I love you… I love you so much.”

Freddy’s caresses pause for just a moment, making you feel as though you shouldn’t have said that to him. Just as you were about to back track he held you even tighter.

“You have no idea how long I have waited to hear you say those words to me. I love you too. If I had a heart, it is yours to possess.”

Tears well up in your eyes from his words, nuzzling into him happily. You stay there for a moment, trying your best to regain your composure but it seems almost impossible.

You finally lean back, wincing from the throbbing knot embedded inside of you. “A-are you um, are you feeling better now?” You ask shyly, looking off to the side.

Freddy lets out a deep hum, his large hand falling onto your cheek and pushing your face back up towards his. “Yes, much better. All thanks to my sweet star.” He leans down to press his mouth against your forehead. “It’ll come back eventually, but I am not worried about it now with you by my side.”

He brings you closer, tucking your head underneath his chin as he rocks back and forth to soothe you. “Are you alright? I am sorry for how rough I was with you, I truly could not hold back.”

“‘M alright.” You murmur, having a hard time stringing words and thoughts together. “It hurt a bit but… I liked it a lot.”

“I’m glad to hear it, I liked it too. Although I did imagine our first time together to be a bit… Sweeter. Yet I am still content knowing you are mine now.” He trails his hand up your shoulder and to your neck, gently pressing down onto the mark he gave you earlier. “You do understand the meaning behind this, right superstar? We are bonded now, never will I do this with another.”

You feel your face get warm, moving back to stare up at him. “Neither will I.” You give him a weak smile, placing your hand over his and letting out a shaky sigh.

He leans in, brushing his muzzle against your lips affectionately, massaging at your neck with his large fingers. “I want you more than any physical pleasure could ever give me… Looks like I’ll have to properly court you now.”

You let out a breathless laugh, looking down at where you are locked together. “I think it’s a little too late for that.”

“Perhaps… But I promise you next time will be a lot more gentle, alright?”

“Gentle or not, I don’t care. I’m just g-glad we have this now. Although it’s hard to believe me of all the people in the world made you feel this way. I’m honored honestly, but I also felt a little bad… You seemed so distressed earlier.”

“There is no need to feel bad my star.” He says affectionately, tucking a strand of wayward hair behind your ear before continuing. “You eased my pain in a way no one else could. It is you who made everything worthwhile.” His voice tapers off into a muffled sigh, glancing away from you with a worried look.

“I’m sorry… If I scared you earlier. I was just so confused, and angry. It was so much more manageable at the start but when you were the only thing on my mind, it was frustrating.”

Now it was your turn to grab his face to have him look back at you. “To tell you the truth, it was a little scary. But it was also pretty hot.” Freddy’s eyes widen from your confession and you let out a laugh. “You’re always so sweet and caring, I never pegged you to be a dominant kinda bear in this way.”

“I have plenty of tricks up my sleeves.” He chuckles deeply, leaning in to pepper kisses along your face. “If I had sleeves of course.” Freddy nuzzles into your hair and you soak up his affection like a cat bathing in the sun. “Now… How sore are you?” He uses his hand to tilt your chin up for your eyes to meet.

You get lost in the glowing blue optics, your walls twitching around the shaft stuffed deep inside of you. “Pretty sore, I can feel some bruises forming and I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk straight but other than that I am very satisfied. I think this will be all that I’m thinking about over the weekend.”

Freddy huffs out a small laugh. “Oh trust me superstar, we will have plenty of more times like this to think about. Soon all you’ll be able to think of is me using this sweet little body of yours.” You let out a squeak from his words, hiding your face in your hands as your cheeks become a bright red. “Awe, I’m sorry, did I make you shy?”

“W-what do you think?” You murmur out into your hands, peeking up at him through your fingers to see the amused look on his face. You feel even more embarrassed, why did he have to be so suave?! You shift in place, letting out a small gasp from the feeling of him still deep inside of you.

“Um… How long do you think this is going to last?” You ask, gesturing towards where the two of you are connected.

“That is a very good question, superstar. I sadly do not know, this is the first time I’ve ever done this with someone.” His eyes lock down to the area, one of his hands running up your thigh. “Although you do look quite beautiful like this, perhaps I should make you stay here forever?”

You let out a giggle, rolling your eyes. “That will get both you and me into some pretty big trouble. But… It does feel really good i-inside of me.” You confess.

“Does it now? Because I swear I am in heaven.” He lets out a low hum, his finger dragging over your hip bone and causing you to shudder. He falls silent for a moment, playing with the hem of the shirt he ripped open. “Your poor clothes, I apologize, I promise once we are free I will find you a fresh pair to change into.”

You shrug your shoulders, looking down at yourself. You looked like a mess yet you didn’t mind it. “It’s alright, I’ve got plenty of these shirts and plenty of leggings. The only thing I want right now is you.”

“Then you shall have me my sweet star, till the end of time.” He leans in, pressing a sweet kiss against your lips that makes you melt. “We’ll get you something proper to eat and drink after this too, you have zapped a lot of your energy.”

All you can do is stare up at him with pure admiration, he was so caring, you can’t help but feel like he was made for you and no one else. You begin to feel a little emotional, tears building up and threatening to spill. He notices this quickly, a look of concern in his eyes but you are quick to express your feelings, wrapping your arms around his thick neck.

“Freddy, I love you, I really do.”

Freddy’s eyes soften, pressing his muzzle up against your forehead as his arms wrap around your waist.

“Oh my sweet star… I truly don’t think I could ever get used to hearing you say such a thing to me. I love you too, more than I could ever express.”

Those three words held such a deep meaning, you agreed with him, you will never get used to this. Just look at you, a human girl now officially in a relationship with a giant animatronic bear. You have so many questions about this whole situation, so much to explore with him, but you can do that later.

“You know…” You begin, letting out a brief chuckle. “This is quite the scandal you got yourself into Mr. Fazbear. We have to be careful, okay? We can’t let anyone find out.”

Freddy nods his head, moving his hand to lightly trace your cheek. “You are right, we will have to be discreet and take many precautions. I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

“To keep me safe?” You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. He was so selfless, such a sweet bear. “Don’t forget about yourself. The worst thing for me is going to jail, but I’d stay there a lifetime if that means you can continue on. Just please remember the risk, okay?”

“I am willing to take this risk if it means I can stay by your side.” His claw traces over the curves of your lips, his eyes fixated on them with a fascinated look. “My beautiful girl… I will hold onto every moment of this night.”

He leans in to press his cold muzzle up against your warm lips. A shiver runs down your spine, letting out a happy, tired sigh through the kiss. Once you pull apart he lays his forehead on yours, a hand running up and down your back soothingly.

“As long as we are together, nothing can truly hurt us.” Freddy's voice is confident like everything else about him.

You were more sure than ever going into this. The direction of where this relationship was heading only filled you with a sense of excitement, you still can’t tell whether this is a dream or not. You lean into him, letting your eyes fall closed as you feel completely relaxed for the first time in a long while.

You were his and he was yours, you wouldn't have it any other way.

#glamrock freddy #glamrock freddy x reader #cc x reader #fnaf smut #glamrock freddy x y/n #fnaf

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itsohh · 3 months

Text

The True Ghost

AN: I kept editing this one and I feel like the vibes are a little over the place.

Summary: After getting shot in the head you find yourself not in the land of the dead but stuck in the land of the living without a real form. Unable to interact with anyone, your forced to watch your lovers suffer with your loss.

Word count: 2156

Warnings: MW3 spoilers, angst, canon typical violence, hurt no / little comfort

Masterlist AO3

The twist of your arm, the furious look on Makarov’s face. The shouts that echoed around you, then… nothing.

You opened your eyes.

When you sat up you did so with extreme ease, the weight of your body was non-existent. Perhaps that's what it was like on the moon. It was like being submerged underwater but with no force of any tide.

You looked up from your sitting stare to see your entire team staring at you. “Got something on my face?” You joked but they didn't reply. When had Gaz and Ghost arrived?

Soap collapsed onto his knees with a choke. He reached towards you but as his fingers were to come into contact with your skin, they phased right through. The warmth of his hand spread through you and you looked down to see what he had truly reached for.

He had reached for you. More specifically your body. You scrambled to your feet to get a good look. Blood pooled under your head as a lifeless look was frozen on your face.

“Shit.” You covered your mouth and looked at your team. “Shit!” You were dead? “Shit! Shit! Shit!” Your eyes went to Ghosts and his eyes closed for a second before he placed his hand on Johnny's shoulder, a sombre look in his eyes.

Price couldn't tear his eyes from you as he radioed in. The call of KIA which confirmed your death. Your hand threaded through your hair and took a few steps away. If you were dead then why were you still there? A fucking ghost. It should have been somewhat ironic but you couldn't bring yourself to laugh. By the obvious lack of other ghosts around, it seemed you were a special case. Was it because you hadn't killed Makarov? Was that your unfinished business?

The thoughts raced through your mind as you glanced over to see Soap lean over your body and press a kiss against your forehead. His hand shook while he held yours. As you stared at him you realised that his entire body was shaking

“I've got her Johnny.” Ghost's voice was broken, empty and Soap turned to look up at the man. Tears swelled in Soap's eyes and Ghost crouched down next to him. Ghost gently pried Soap's hand from yours and brushed your eyes close.

If it hadn't been from the hole in your head you could have looked like you were asleep. “I've got her.” Ghost squeezed Soap's hand and the man nodded in return. It took all his strength but he backed away from you and Ghost went to pick up your corpse.

You didn't know if it was comforting or not that they weren't leaving your body there. It was strange, you were so disconnected from it but at the same time, it was still your body. It was like a childhood home you no longer owned.

“It should have been me.” Soap muttered as they started to walk and Ghost froze for a second.

“Don't do that Johnny. Don't do that to her.”

Soap glanced at Ghost's hardened expression and went silent.

The car ride back was that same prolonged silence. You had sat in your designated spot, at least you had that going for you. With the whole ‘everything passes through you’ situation, you were just glad you didn't have to walk back.

You watched as Soap entered his room. Not yours, not Ghosts, but his own dorm room. It was a place Soap rarely visited anymore. Ghost’s room had been a sanctuary for all three of you.

He ripped his gear from his body, his hands shook and he threw it all to the ground. Tears now flowed in free fall and he staggered over to his bathroom where he flicked on the the shower. Soap stepped in immediately, not caring about the cold water. He desperately started to scrub at the skin on his hand even though there wasn't a speck of blood.

You sat down in the corner and closed your eyes as his sobs started to echo in the room. He swore your name and choked on his tears.

Eventually, the water turned off and he came out. His eyes were red and puffy while his muscles were dense. Soap's skin was red and raw from scrubbing it too much. He went over to the sink and leaned on his two palms.

You got up from the floor and went behind him. So desperately did you want to confront him, to hug him, to tell him it was okay. It was an act in vain but you placed a hand on his shoulder. Warm but tense you looked forward and paused at the sight.

Perhaps it was because you could see yourself but the reflection showed the pair of you. Honestly, you looked terrible. A picture image of the moment you died. Wet blood eternally stuck to the side of your head as your eyes lacked a certain warmth to them.

A sudden smash came as Soap's fist collided with the mirror right where your reflection was. A fractured spider web formed and a stain of his blood tainted the centre of it.

You flinched at the moment and covered your gasp with your hand. A choked sound still escaped, not that anyone could hear. You reached on to him as leaned on the sink.

“Should have bloody fucking let me die.” He growled. “Should have saved herself but she had to play hero. Never seen her do something so stupid-” Soap slammed his bloodied fist down without a care for the pain that it would obviously inflict.

Would he be the same mess if your position with Simon was flipped?

His choked sobs came but you didn't attempt to vainly comfort him again. Perhaps Ghost could help- perhaps if you could somehow communicate a way to get your lovers to join hands…

You left Johnny's bathroom and went towards his bedroom door.

You put your hand on his locked door handle to open it but once again it went right through. Brows furrowed you tried again but this time with a lot more concentration.

Your eyes widened when it jiggled a bit but the stiff lock was just a little bit too much. With a sigh of frustration, you went to slam your fist on the door but ended up going right through it. With a stumble, you fell forward across the hall into your own room.

Surprise crossed your face to see Ghost there. His mask off. His eyes were closed and he took deep breaths as if he were meditating. You couldn't help but wonder how long he was there.

“I'm sorry.” He eventually said, his eyes cast at the ground. “We weren't fast enough and you paid the price.” He let out a deep breath. “I should have known that you would eventually go. But for a moment, I could play pretend.”

You sat down on the bed next to him. He couldn't see you, he couldn't hear you but you hoped somehow that he knew that you were with him.

Days went past and you saw two events. The official funeral that was done for all operators, a big fancy honourable thing that felt more political than anything. Then there was when they spread your ashes, a more quiet event where they flew to your homeland and did so.

You preferred that one.

It got a bit boring if you were honest. Most of the time you just walked with anyone who was at base. Normally Ghost or Soap but sometimes it was Gaz or Price. On the odd occasion, it was Kate. You missed Farah and Nik.

Ghost seemed to spend a lot of time in your room. Soap didn't. Their relationship had certainly suffered because of it.

One night as you watched Ghost leave your room, you heard it. A small buzz. You went over to the nightstand to see your phone exactly how you had left it. It was on charge on the side table. You went to pick it up and surprisingly, it obeyed your command.

With wide eyes, you slid your finger against the screen and it unlocked. A sound of glee left your lips as you tapped away on it. “My sweet baby boy, you recognise me.” You grinned at the phone.

Consequences be damned, you hit Soap's name and opened your messenger.

I love you

You sent it without hesitation and as you started to type to Ghost you heard the shout. It was Soap's voice. Uh-oh. You placed the phone down and left your room to see Soap at Ghost's door. His first was raised and banged against the door while his phone was clutched in the other.

The door eventually swung open and you saw Ghost there peer above Soap.

“Johnny.”

“What the hell is this huh? Trying to fuck with me with her phone?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Oh cut the bullshite, I know you spend half of your time in her room.” He waved the phone in Ghost's face and grabbed his collar.

Ghost's brows narrowed. “I know you’re hurting Johnny-”

“Oh that's rich-”

Soap's voice was cut off by Price who had been woken up by the endeavour.

“The hell is going on?” He barked and walked up to the two men. Price took the phone from Soap and looked at the message. A sigh left Price’s mouth.

“It's probably just a scheduled text message Soap. You know what she was like, always one to think ahead. Probably did it because she knew you well enough to know that you would refuse to watch her recorded messages.”

Soap let go of Ghost's collar and looked down.

“She loved you, the both of you. She wouldn't want you to fight. I know you're both in pain but you're better off working together not against each other.” He clasped a hand on Soap's shoulder. “If you really hate it that much you could go disable it in her phone. It's probably where she last left it.”

“Passwords 2019.” Ghost finally spoke up. It had been a running thing that you never told Soap your phone password. Something to tease him about. Soap threaded his hand through his hair and nodded.

“I'll…I'll go check out her phone.” His voice was quiet and then it dawned on you.

As much as you wanted them to stop fighting, you didn’t want them to take your phone.

You turned on your heel and dashed through your bedroom door. With a snatch of your hand, you took it off the charger and went to put it in your pocket but then paused. It fell to the floor. It seems your pockets didn't work. With a roll of your eyes, you picked it off the floor, climbed onto your bedside table and turned it to silent. You balanced on the table and slid it on top of your dresser. It was tall enough that not even Ghost would be able to see on top of it

Last second you lost your balance and let out a cry as you fell onto to hover awkwardly above the ground. “Guess ghosts can fly after all.” You muttered.

Slowly you lowered your feet onto the ground just in time for Soap to walk into your room. It was the first time since you died. He went to your nightstand only to find it gone. A frown formed on his face and then he went towards your desk.

He let out a sound of frustration but it was Ghost's voice that filled the air.

“Can't find it?”

“Did you take it?” Soap asked

“No. I'll call it for you.” Ghost brought out his phone and started to call your number. Yet it didn't make a sound. Soap stood up and started to walk to the bathroom to look for it. You followed him as he searched under the sink and when he stood up, his eyes made contact with yours in the mirror.

He didn't say a word. Soap looked away and rejoined Ghost. Just in time to hear your voice through your phone.

“I'm unable to come to come to the phone right now. Don't leave a message and please send me a text. Thanks!”

“She probably hid it somewhere.” Soap’s eyes shut. “It's fine. I don't want to be in here.” He pushed past Ghost and left the room.

Pain swelled in your chest. You didn't want to hurt him- either of them. But your phone was all you had. Ghost glanced to the rest of the room and left. The door clicked behind him.

Slowly you went for your phone again and unlocked it. It was still open on Ghost’s contact.

You finally hit send.

A moment later you surprisingly received a reply.

I love you too.

I miss you

Rest well

#mw3 x reader #mw3 spoilers #ghost x reader #soap x reader #ghost x reader x soap #modern warfare 3 #cod x reader #simon riley #john mactavish #mw2 x reader

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keeksandgigz · 26 days

Text

Chapter 1: Les Usurpateurs

Part 1 of Words are Futile Devices- A Steddie x Reader Call Me By Your Name AU

Somewhere in Northern Italy, 1983

cw: ~3k words, no smut (yet), EVERYONE IS OF AGE!!!, a lot of unnecessary description for the vibes, reader is a bit of a cunt

notes: I'm back (I think)

Despite the lack of smut in this chapter, this and all my works are 18+ minors do NOT interact

There was something of a quiet intimacy in hearing the summer sparrows in the morning. Nothing but the gentle hum and chirp buried in the ripe peach trees. Thus marking the beginning of your yearly summer stay in Italy, of doing nothing but lounge around and savor the crickets at night, lying down on the couch of the villa your mother had inherited from her great grandparents.

What you liked about your summers in Italy was that time seemed to go slower, at your leisure, spending it between the lake with your friends, the town just a short bike ride away or staying home buried in the pile of books you had brought over just to keep in your room, a bit overgrown, but unable to make it “too yours” because of the guests you’d have to concede your room to a mere four weeks after your arrival at the villa.

Every summer, your father would host literature and art history students at the villa, aspiring professors, authors, archeologists, to help with their dissertations. They’d come with their american ways, obnoxiously disturbing the peace that you had created for yourself in the idyllic world you’d surrounded yourself into. Like that was a different astral plane you’d projected into, with the same friends as always, the same views, the same places to go. A different guest you’d have to surrender your room to for ten weeks, while you were banished to the communicating room, divided only by a shared bathroom. A small twin bed, an old desk and chair, a big enough window to let a good amount of light in, so you don’t suffocate and turn into a vampire. You despised that room.

They always arrived on the first day of July, when the weather seemed to turn from needing a light pair of jeans in the evening to clothes being unbearable. If you were in your room you’d limit yourself to a long enough shirt to keep you decent for the ghosts in the villa. There were no ghosts, but Giovanna, the housekeeper, would pop in from time to time to drop off your clothes– washed, ironed and folded. They smelled like citrus.

You were reading The Count of Monte Cristo when the guest arrived. The rippling sounds of the gravel under the heavy tires of the car sounding like an alarm. You placed your book face down on the page you had been reading and ran to the window. Curious to see what the tide had brought this year. Maybe someone whose English wasn’t very good. Or some lunatic who could only stay inside because of his pollen allergy. You wondered what they would have looked like. Tall? Ugly? Obnoxious in the sense where you could hear them play shuffle and slam and bang doors and cabinets and drawers in the morning when getting ready?

The car came to a stop in front of the door, right under the window of your room. The driver’s door opened, Giuseppe, the groundskeeper of the villa went around to open the trunk. Your heart thumped as you saw the passenger door open. It was a man. He was wearing a pair of white linen shorts, a blue flouncy short sleeve button- up shirt and gold- rimmed glasses. He pushed them up as he placed two hands on his hips, quickly removing one in favor of running his hands through his hair, styled and coiffed like he had not just come off an eight- hour flight.

“You must be…” You’d heard your father say, placing a finger on his bearded chin, the name of the boy must have slipped him.

“Steve. Piacere” the boy said, in an Americanized Italian, sounding like he had a hot potato in his mouth.

“Ah! Steve, Benvenuto” your father said, bidding his welcome and shaking the boy’s hand. Your mother extended a delicate hand as well, introducing herself with a bright smile. At the same time, the opposite passenger door opened. Another boy.

This one had long, frizzy hair. His face was framed by the bangs that stuck on his forehead. He was wearing a black t- shirt of a band you’d never heard of before tucked inside a pair of cutoff denim shorts held up by a belt, a chain clinking at the boy’s side as he stepped off the car. He wouldn’t let Giuseppe take his bags, insisting he could have done it himself.

Your father followed the boy with his eyes as he carried what appeared to be a duffel bag and a beat up suitcase towards your father.

“And this must be Eddie, then” your father said, as Eddie released his suitcase to shake your father’s hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you” the boy said, and from this new angle you could see that he sported three chunky rings on his left hand and a chain necklace around his neck. Your father saw you peeking out the window and motioned for you to come down.

“Shall we go inside? Show you around before dinner?” He motioned towards the boys as Eddie picked his stuff up once again and followed inside. You rolled your eyes. That was your cue to put on some pants and come downstairs.

Your father’s office was just on the right at the bottom of the stairs, as you hopped down the marble steps. You heard chatter.

“Oh there she is” you heard your father announce as you leaned against the doorframe of his office. You tended to dislike his theatrics “Boys, this is my daughter” the two guests turned around, reaching their hands to squeeze yours, as you firmly told them your name.

“Hey, I’m Steve,” he said, fixing his glasses with his other hand. He was soft, but his handshake was firm. Hands bigger than yours.

“You’re the archeology and history nerd” you quipped, a slight curl of your mouth followed it.

Steve didn’t seem to like the name, as he let go of your hand, mouth in a straight line. Embarrassed. Put off. You needed them to know that they weren’t welcome here.

“Hey, what’s up I’m Eddie” the other guy said. His hand was much more rougher and calloused than Steve’s, likely a guitarist.

“You’re the soon to be failed author?” you tilted your head at him,

you tilted your head at him, you heard your mother gasp, the indignation dripping from her mouth as she said your name. Eddie chuckled, a bit taken aback, but amused.

“How do you like daddy’s money, hm?” It was your turn to be indignant. You heard your father snicker behind the boy, followed by Steve. Your hand brusquely retracted from Eddie’s, as your mother poured springs of apologies on your behalf.

“She’s not like this, usually,” your mother said. Which was a lie. You were always like this. Rude, witty, sour.

You heard the disappointment in your dad’s tone “Go show them their room” he said, an intimation for you to leave.

“Make yourselves at home,” he said, before you guided them back upstairs.

Eddie huffed up the stairs. You didn’t offer to take his bags, as he seemed to not need nor want any help.

You opened the large pinewood door.

“You guys are gonna sleep in here. This is my room, but it’s gonna be yours for the rest of your stay. I’m gonna be in the next room over. Unfortunately we’ll have to share a bathroom” You could see sleep calling to them, as their eyes opened and closed slowly at the sight of a made bed.

Eddie dropped his bags and thumped on the bed, sleep immediately overtaking him.

“You have to excuse him, this is the first time he’s traveled outside of the States,” Steve said, sitting on the bed, leaning to take his shoes off.

“Nervous or what?” you asked, examining your bookcase in case you wanted to steal a book to take to your room.

“Just not as lucky as many” Steve shrugged, laying himself down on the mattress “this is his big shot. If your dad likes his stuff it’s all uphill from here” Steve groans, voice full of sleep “thanks for lending us your room, let us know when dinner is.”

And that was that. The boy fell into the arms of slumber.

And when Giovanna rang the bell to announce dinnertime, once again you peeled yourself away from The Count of Monte Cristo. You wondered if they were still sleeping.

You wandered into the bathroom and towards the door as you shot a quick look at the two sleeping bodies on the bed. Eddie was snoring. You were unsure if you should have woken them up.

You toyed with the bathroom door, swinging it between your hands. A grin decorated your face as you decided to slam it. Steve jumped awake, annoyed and scared.

“Dinner’s ready” you muttered, reaching for the handle of the door.

“I’ll pass, thanks” Steve said, shaking Eddie from his almost comatose state. The boy mumbled a semi- discernible “huh?”

“Dinner, Ed. ‘m not going, but you can feel free to” Steve said to the other, but he just turned around and sleepily muttered an “‘mgood, thanks.”

“He’s good. We’ll apologize to your mother in the morning” Steve said, laying back down, ignoring you completely.

Where’s my apology?

You were thankful for the lack of guests at dinner. That way you were able to silently eat and then slither back into your room. Back into your book. Lulled by the crickets, and the whisper of the trees in the weak evening breeze. You ended up falling asleep.

In the morning, Steve was already outside having breakfast with your parents. He looked like he had showered, but you didn’t recall the faint sound of the water running. He was wearing another pair of shorts, another flouncy shirt. Fumbling with a slice of toast, buttered with jam as he talked to your father about the morning paper.

“This is gorgeous by the way” Steve admitted, looking around “your orchard?” he looked at your mother, who was smiling proudly at the compliment.

“We grow a lot of fruit here, Giovanna makes apricot juice fresh every day” she smiled, biting into a slice of bread.

“You had a lot to say yesterday, now you’re a quiet little mouse?” your father teased, elbowing you lightly as you rolled your eyes.

“It’s okay, she apologized” Steve said, an assuring look in his eyes “she didn’t mean that stuff. She told me, it’s just her welcome wagon” he chuckled, and you felt yourself grow red. Why would he save you like that?

Eddie popped out from the door, hair in a bun, changed out of his shirt in favor for a new one.

“You should show them around some time, dear. Take them into town, maybe at the lake, I hope your father is not gonna keep them cooped up in his office for ten weeks” your mother giggled.

“Yeah, no we’d love that. Maybe I’ll get some inspiration for the book” Eddie sat down at the breakfast table, between you and Steve as he fumbled with a soft boiled egg Giovanna had to crack open for him. Embarrassment was veiled on his face.

You looked at his ringed hands, fumble with the small spoon. Did it always look so small?

“We’re not gonna start until the beginning of the week, but I might ask you to go get some supplies into town today and take these two with you. Eddie’s gonna need some nice paper for his typewriter, won’t you?” your father gave him a heavy pat on the shoulder, at which he smiled.

“Have another egg” your mother encouraged the boys. Eddie dug into the pot again, getting more confident with the way he spread the runny yolk on a slice of toast. Some of the runny egg dripped in between his fingers.

Just not as lucky as many.

Steve passed. “I know myself too well, if I have a second, I’ll just have a third and a fourth and a fifth and then I’m just gonna have to get rolled outta here” he joked. I know myself. Self- assured, cocky. You wondered what it felt like to really know yourself, to have everything figured out like he did.

You lent Steve Giuseppe’s old bike, Eddie got an old one of yours, the squeaky rusted tires alerting the two strangers’ presence. You were afraid you would have been pressured into giving one of them your own bike, seeing as you had already surrendered all of your possessions to them.

It was a pleasant day. Not too incredibly hot to be embarrassed if the two boys were to see you, face riddled with uncomfortable beads of sweat, breath heaving irregularly from the dry air of July. Instead, a nice breeze came through the mountains, as you debated on going for a swim later in the day.

That’s what you liked about your summers there. A swimsuit was always the wardrobe of choice under your summer clothes, the freedom to subsist in a plane of existence where your obligations began and ended within the span of a few miles of green grass and honeysuckle flowers.

The two boys followed you down the graveled road into town, which seemed to be deserted, families abandoning their houses in favor of driving to the beach for the weekend.

You asked them if they wanted to get a coffee, as you dismounted your bikes and parked them in front of a coffee place.

You sat outside as you sipped from your espresso cups.

“So” Steve broke the silence “What does one do around here?” you put down your book, the device you so desperately tried to ignore them with, trying to drown them out.

“Wait for the summer to end” you mumbled carelessly, going back to the words on the page.

“Ok and then in the winter you wait for the summer to start?” Eddie snickered.

“Seriously though, what do you do here the whole summer?” Steve interrupted, taking you away from your book again, as you tossed it on the table.

“I read, mostly. Play music, swim at the lake, go out” you huffed out annoyedly, reaching for the book. Eddie preceded you.

“Kafka? What happened to Monte Cristo?” he flicked through the yellowed pages.

“I finished it. How’d you know I was reading that?” you snatched the book back from his hands.

“It was on your bed before I slammed onto it. You should read something a bit more substantial,” he said “Kafka isn’t gonna teach you shit, why don’t you read Dorian Grey instead?” it annoyed you how patronizing his tone was.

“I read that last year, thanks for the help” you retorted, taking the book back from him with a roll of your eyes.

“Your dad seemed to make it abundantly clear that you need to be nice to us” Steve intervened, whining like a petulant child.

“Or what? You’ll snitch on me?” you snapped, the two boys looking at each other.

“Listen, sweetheart,” your nose curled at the nickname, “we’re not your enemies or whatever you think you’ve made us out to be. We really don’t want to be a nuisance to you” nothing about what he said seemed sincere. You rolled your eyes in response.

“Well,” Steve stood up from the metal chair with a violent noise, Eddie following suit “we’ll see you later,” as the both of them mounted their bikes and left. The creaking noises of the rusty old bikes followed in their pedaling.

They finally got the hint.

You spent the rest of your day at the lake, not really in a mood to interact with Chiara or Alessandro, two of your longtime friends. Instead, you made the slushing of the water current your friend, staring at the words on the page. Meaningless words. Kafka didn’t seem so enticing after all.

When you got home it went back on the dusty shelf. Your hand lingered on the spine of Dorian Grey for a moment. The cover was brown and worn, it was your mother’s before it became yours, your heart picked up at the words on the spine, gold lettering. You thought about what Eddie had said earlier.

You picked up Heart of Darkness instead.

tagging: @littlexdeaths, @xxbimbobunnyxx, @aphrogeneias, @rowanswriting, @stveharringtn, @impmunson, @strangerstilinski, @lavendermunson, @rebelfell, @bimbobaggins69, @cryingglightningg, @thornsnvultures, @jamdoughnutmagician, @take-everything-you-can, @eddiesxangel, @ali-r3n, @emxxblog, @corrodedcoffincumslut, @str4ngergirlw0rld, @yujyujj, @gregre369, @subconsciouscollapse, @aol19, @cooljadejacksonthings, @maeneedsabreak, @eddiesguitarskills, @freak-of-hawkins, @eddiesghxst

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mccoyquialisms · 8 days

Text

More bits from the 1st night of the London D20 live show that brought me joy:

The little “ooooohhhhHHHH” bit everyone in the atrium did as they were rolling the bingo cages for their characters

How NUTS everyone went when Lou got Fabian and everyone started chanting “hoot growl”

A second, just as loud cheer when Siobhan got Adaine and her and Lou ran around the stage together

Siobhan, unprompted: “GIVE ADAINE A GUN!”

Emily has apparently named a stray cat after Plug <3

Sydney straight up eating the ground (it’s ice cream, she’s fine. Sort of.)

“It’s a smell so counter to everything human life needs, in a way that almost kills you, but also, only in a way someone from New York can understand, makes you proud.”

The party refusing to call the candy wyverns anything other than “bugs”

Zac interrupting the ongoing banter to announce Skip is already boarded and sucking on the saddle of the wyvern

“I throw a flash grenade.” “I turn into a giant pigeon.” “I cast unseen servant to untie him.” “I shoot a guard.” “Okay, so everyone decides to do something SUPER SUBTLE.”

I mentioned it before but it’s SO good: “the DC is 500. Only a Nat 20 will do it.” Beardsley: [rolls a Nat 20 first try] [pandemonium in the arena]

“Have you seen Succession?”

The gabagool 🤌

“Adaine, we have saved the world multiple times. These are the scariest people we have ever met.”

Lou losing it at Sydney’s grenade having 1 point of poison damage in addition to all the bludgeoning damage

Skip gives Fabian a laser gun. He does not know what it is until he shoots Calroy with it

“Adaine, this gun thing you’re on? I get it.”

Cocaine Bear

“I YEETED YOU!”

Pete and Skip instant besties. Pete and Fabian instant enemies.

“You named him Anus and now I just have to do it the rest of the show!”

“I absolutely hate to add insult to injury…” “THEN DON’T!”

Adaine passing her wisdom save by 1 point to prevent Kugrash’s polymorph spell from turning her into a rat

The absolute ROAR that went up when Skip transformed into Lapin

“Anus?” “Not today.” “Not today WHAT?”

“I thought I was just on another planet starting a revolution I don’t intend to stick around for.” “America!”

Ally confidentially declaring Lapin and Aguefort have swinger vibes

“Do you want to just take him?” “Do you mean in the biblical sense?” “Another exciting use….”

[croaky voice] butterfly in the skyyyy

Pete opening 6 different flavors of seltzer while the rest of the party does kublacaine

Elaine Lee in the house!!!

Kugrash the greatest chaperone who ever lived

Lapin and Aguefort…and they were roommates…..Lapin’s “how do I look?” before they go into the egg fortress lmao

Syd’s perfume missile dealing 68 points of damage to Fabian and instantly knocking him unconscious. “Are you rolling D20s for damage???”

“I’m going to use my tides of chaos to reroll….worse.”

Tina the butterfly familiar that everyone totally remembers

“Well shit, any house where we kill the people in it becomes our house.”

Pete dissing Fabian so hard he feels the toxic masculinity coming back

Lapin requesting an exam extension for Adaine and Fabian from Arthur via dating app

The collective psychic damage everyone took from the “yar har har” scene

“Pete just starts dancing with a scarf in a way no one else has seen before.” “That’s my fucking thing!!!”

Sydney just enabling every pvp encounter alsdkghsdg. Giving Fabian unlimited capacity to his gun as he’s shooting Pete, with Fabian hitting twice and criting once.

“I can pleasure you or throw grenades, you gotta pick one.” “The first one, obviously!” “Okay!”

Lapin, Adaine and Kugrash chain smoking in the corner suffering through the pain of existence while the rest of party goes nuts around them

Murph incorporating the words “come/coming” as much as possible into Kugrash’s farewell speech while Brennan mimes Gilear’s enormous dick behind him. Not even Fabian’s battle sheet is enough to conceal that hog

“That’s right, I’m the king. And then I jump into the dumpster.”

GILEAR…MY…..OLD FRIEND………Aguefort and Gilear fwb real

“Not another person with their penis frozen to the walk in!”

#dimension 20 live #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 live #dropout #my musings #time quangle

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bbnibini · 4 months

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You, Over the World (Solomon)

So, I wasn't satisfied with the “snow” entry in the 9days of Solomon challenge and always intended to write another fic in the challenge outside of the continuing narrative I was working on, but life had plans and I ran out of time so I dedicate this oneshot to its wonderful organiser @impish-ivy. I switched out “humanity” for “the world” in the repeating dialogues cause it sounded more dramatic lol but this should have been an entry for ‘humanity’. If the vibes are familiar, I was thinking a lot about Frieren while writing this. :))

“Would you choose the world over me?”

He mutters a yes over the verdant foliage, amongst the spring flowers that bloomed over melted snow. He says it again as he traced the petals with his fingers, his memories simmering in the past—your understanding eyes, smiling and unwavering, as if he were waiting for you to say something else.

He held his breath,

“Would you choose the world over me?”

…and he says yes again under the shade of an umbrella overlooking the horizon. He squints his eyes against the hot air blowing on his face. The unchanging view he once saw with you became unrecognisable. The sky was blue as always; the summer sun, hot and cruel as he buried his feet under the warm sand—he strained his ears to listen to your stories, but even a whisper of them had been lost in time—the weight of his choice carried away by the thrashing waves. The world over you. “The greater good”. The “logical” choice that even you understood that he had to make. He thinks this over and over until the cicadas had stopped crying, and the punishing heat of the sun hid itself away to welcome a cool, moonless sky.

With nothing but his thoughts to occupy him, he walks towards the ocean again. Aimlessly, almost dragging his feet, until he heard the currents, the salty air welcoming him as his feet touched the seawater. He hated everything about it, but he couldn't get you it off his mind–he should not even care anymore. He never cared. Everything that carried a piece of you is seafoam dissolving in the tides, and your memories were nothing but a ghost haunting him in the night.

“Would you choose the world over me?”

He was at a loss for words as he remembered the question again when a leaf fell on his face, waking him up from an unplanned nap. He was never the earliest riser. Mornings to him were nothing but extra hours of sleep, but he found himself there again despite the absence of…everything. The busy crowds haggling for bargains—cinnamon and nutmeg and the falling leaves. Your hands were on his face, slapping him gently on his cheeks to rouse him from his slumber. Your voice was admonishing yet sweet.

It's gone too, I suppose.

He thought to himself as he waited for a flea market in the forgotten park, with nothing but the dents on the pavement and fading paint telling him that it was actually there. Years ago, maybe. Relocated somewhere else. Why didn't he bother to know? He did remember a stall there that he frequented with you. A kind stranger told him they have a whole chain of restaurants now; sold to a big company after the original owner’s passing. The orange leaves crunched beneath him as he left to take another train, waiting for hours on the queue to be seated.

He ordered your favourite.

But it didn't taste anything like it.

The texture was off. Something was wrong with the taste. It was too hot and too cold at the same time. That couldn't be right, so he tried again and ordered his usual but it tasted even weirder: an amalgamation of textures and flavours that barely paid homage to its humble roots. And he wasn't even much of a gourmet.

He left, letting his eyes linger on the seated crowd: their blissful faces obviously enjoying their meal. He sighs.

“Would you choose the world over me?”

Everything was grey; the orange and yellows and reds were being buried in the cold drafts. He asks you to close the door, only to be reminded that Cocytus Hall was nothing but ruins now; earth and dust. Rotting foundations and leaking ceilings. Seen better days.

“Why have you chosen the world over me?”

He didn't know. What should he have answered you? The more time passed, the more it felt as if the hours had gotten slower and slower. His youthful face was a painful reminder of an eternity waiting for him. There was an aching that lingered in his chest that never went away. The view from outside was pure white. A light fog formed on the window as he breathed out and drew faces. He had many thoughts, but most were barely comprehensible, mangling into static noise. He stared into the distance.

It must be a beautiful day. It was warmer than a usual December, and the view from outside was breathtaking. Didn't he just make a breakthrough in his research? The Demon Prince and his butler are set to arrive in a day to honour his contributions…or something like that. He wasn't sure. It was a feat that his academic peers envied greatly, for he had yet again proven why he was called “The Wise”.

Never “The Heartful.�� Not even discerning. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. There, he saw you.

“Cheer up, Solomon!”

A gloved hand that took his own. There was a question lingering in his mind as you walked through the thick snow.

“Would you let me choose the world over you?”

He couldn't remember your face. He had imagined the scenes in his head so many times, and it only worsened every cold winter he had to spend on his own.

But he had no choice.

Company was all but warm bodies that didn't seep into his soul. They laced fingers with him and whispered sweet words, but he was a phantom whose presence they couldn't even touch.

He was barely there or anywhere. See-through and paper-thin; deaf to kindness even in the face of sincerity. He remembered caring more, maybe a century ago, when he could still count the numbers of your fading presence with his fingers. But now…

…he saw you walking away again, so he pulled you back into his arms where you fit perfectly.

Where dreams were his only comfort. Where centuries and aeons felt like minutes ago, and the entire world that remained at your loss had any semblance of meaning. He held your face and pressed your lips on his, hoping all of what he couldn't say would reach you,

“I wish I didn't.”

…even if it's too late.

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #obey me shall we date #om! shall we date #solomon x reader #solomon x mc #obey me solomon x reader #obey me fic

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centaurianthropology · 2 months

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Oh man, I think the Circle of the Crimson Mirror might just be MY Candela circle. I enjoyed the goofy schlock horror with the Circle of the Vassal and the Veil, and really enjoyed the amping up of horror in The Circle of Needle and Thread (though the horrors of war theming was not specifically for me, it was still well done). I haven’t gotten to watch the Circle of Tide and Bone because life happened, but from what I’ve heard it was very good.

But I was laughing out loud with glee for the first episode of the Circle of the Crimson Mirror. All these characters are delightful. The setting is fascinating (starting out OUTSIDE of Newfaire and expanding the world was really fun), the theming of Irish folklore horror gives a folk horror mixed with cosmic horror vibe that I’m really excited for. And Liam is just the sort of ruthless DM that is perfect for a horror game. Because for me, keeping your players wrapped up in the horror, making them at least a little genuinely afraid (after talking through Lines and Veils of course) in a fun and contained way IS the heart of playing a horror game. It’s the same as watching a horror movie, in that you WANT to be scared, that’s part of the enjoyment, but in a horror game the fun is having it happen to you.

And both folk horror and cosmic horror are some of my favorite subgenres, so this is hitting all my favorite sorts of horror. And because it’s me, see below for my much longer thoughts about this first episode and the characters. Because I’ve never found a topic I enjoy that I can’t write an essay about.

Liam comes for everyone straight out of the gate, doesn’t he? While I found the train cold open in chapter 2 exciting, I found this even more harrowing. With NPCs we barely know constantly imperiled, all the investigators are really sketched so clearly right off the bat with their actions rather than their more open explanations later. I love that all of them lean heavily into being out of their depth, even sometimes making poor choices because of it. The players are aware they are in a horror game. The characters are not.

So let’s talk about those characters:

MALCOLM TRILLS

Imari Williams was the player at the table I had no prior experience with, and I love what he’s doing here. He puts his whole body into acting out the scene, even at the table. Even before we know he was a Sole Survivor of a massacre during the war (and I found it deeply entertaining that Imari couldn’t help but dump his backstory all over the floor. Liam’s gently encouraging everyone to hold it back for dramatic moments, and Imari is just so excited he’s like “NO! HERE IT IS!” not once but twice in the very first episode), we knew that. Because Imari is clearly dedicated to acting that out through what Malcolm chooses to do. He believes in saving others, especially after losing his entire squad. He has to do it, even (or maybe especially) for those civilians he doesn’t know. His entire point in being in Candela is saving people. So when Liam dunks two unnamed sailors in the ocean, Malcolm goes in. His friends are horrified. They love and value him, and they value him more than two randos. But to him, the randos are the point. Saving people is the point. So no matter how many disappointed dad-lectures he gets from Leo (and this is clearly not the first one he’s gotten), Malcolm is always going to be this way. He’s always going to try to play the hero in a horror setting, which is such a delicious choice for a horror player to make. Everyone at that table knows how perilous it is, but Imari is fully committed, and I love it.

We already know a lot of his background, but there are things we don’t know. We don’t know his relationship with his family, or why Leo is so disdainful of the Trills as a group. There seems to be an implication that the Trills are old money in Newfaire, perhaps, or at least a legendary family for other reasons. And apparently reckless heroism is a family trait. But what does Malcolm do in his day-to-day? He’s the one we don’t have a career or life for back in Newfaire yet, and I am interested to see who he is when he’s not playing the hero for Candela.

LEO AMICUS

I love the description of “I’m going to lie a little and say ‘early forties’” as an explanation for Leo’s age. It tells me a lot about his character right off the bat. We know he’s older (but not how much) and that he doesn’t want to admit he’s older. There’s just a touch of vanity already there, and given that he’s also a man in a dressing gown on a ship in a severe storm, who thinks that his presence is deeply inappropriate? Who asks if there’s a bar on a tramp steamer? We know so much about Leo already, and I love it all. Taliesin plays a dandy so well, his table reactions are so expressive, and it’s so clear that a setting like this is NOT where Leo shines. He shines in social situations, in parties and bars and places where his charms mean something beyond keeping a crewmember calm long enough that she can be knocked unconscious. But he’s so great in being totally overwhelmed and being useless in an action sequence.

And once the storm is over? We find out that Leo is very much the mother hen of the group (probably the oldest member). He knows Malcolm well, and treats Grimoria like a beloved niece. We haven’t gotten a lot of interactions between him and Edgar, but I’m excited to see what their relationship is like, as the two more cautious members of the group.

It was in his interactions with the other members of the circle that I realized how much like family this circle is. They are VERY close, despite ostensibly just being coworkers. There is such a deep care and concern for one another here and I love knowing how dangerous that also is in a horror game. And Leo is the one most open about his attachments here. We know he doesn’t have much blood family, and doesn’t talk to them. We know he looks at these people as his family.

And I love that, for that family, we see a REALLY different side of Leo. While he was overwhelmed and trying not to look at the blood on the boat, the second the Murphy girls (or whatever was masquerading as them) tried to murder Malcolm and the others, Leo was grabbing kitchen knives and trying to kill them. His perspective from his talk with Malcolm also remains consistent: you put your family first. When his family is threatened, meek Leo melts away and we have a man who will do whatever is necessary, kill whoever is necessary, or let anyone die to protect them. He seems to have few moral convictions, but an enormous amount of love, and that excites me for this character.

And I love that we actually know very little about him right now. We know he lives in Red Lamp (because of course he does) and that his apartment doubles as their chapterhouse. So he can be Team Dad at every meeting.

Also congrats to him for getting laid in the very first episode. Hot sailor dude propositions him, and Leo is all about that life. This Professional Man of Leisure is clearly gay catnip.

DR. EDGAR LYCORIS

I was so excited that Alex was finally going to be in a filmed Candela game (he was apparently one of the play-testers during its development, and it’s so clear he knows the rules). Dr. Lycoris is cool, calm, almost robotic in his presentation. He’s definitely a classic Alex character with his calm and his normal-guy-in-a-group-of-weirdos vibe (while secretly being very much a weirdo himself), and filled with casual competence and rudeness. But at the same time there are hints of how much he cares about this circle too. Him quietly calling Grimoria ‘Grim’ when she’s unconscious and he’s tending to her, telling her, “You can’t sleep forever, Grim,” in such a fond tone. The two of them clearly have some quiet history together, and there is a real softness between them that I’m excited to see them dig into as they get deeper into the game. There’s clearly a long-standing connection with Malcolm too, with both of them extremely aware of one another’s skills and weaknesses, working together seamlessly, especially in moments of extreme stress. I want to see more of these soft moments, these personal moments when his icy demeanor cracks, and I imagine we’re going to get plenty of them, given that THIS is how intense the first episode was.

He and Leo are the two characters we know the least about at this point. We know that Edgar is a surgeon working in the main hospital in Newfaire. We know that he is cool under pressure, and that he is both used to fighting (his immediate shift into using his scalpel as a precision weapon to go after arteries and tendons is such a nice touch for the character), but also can really be shocked by sudden violence (I love that he totally freezes after THAT happened to Declan’s mother). He states that he wears nice and fashionable clothing, but the clothing is almost wearing him rather than the other way around, like someone picked them out for him. I want to know who that other person is (is it Leo???). I want to know who he is when he’s not trying to wear what other people expect of him.

I am so excited to get to know Dr. Lycoris.

GRIMORIA

Likely a stage name, and I do wonder if we'll get her birth name, or if that even matters to her at this point. Mechanically, I am thrilled to see a Candela player try to homebrew a multiclass in this system. She’s essentially gone for a Medium/Magician hybrid. We know she works as a procurer of esoteric artifacts. She performs shows with smoke bombs, so likely is a stage magician, and that she has been able to channel spirits since she was a small child.

And we know that she’s 18. In a group in which consists of a man who is at least in his mid-forties, a man who is 32, and a man who is a surgeon (so has at least obtained advanced training, and is probably in his late twenties at minimum, and is likely in his thirties given the hints that he served as a battlefield surgeon during the war), Grimoria is YOUNG. Absurdly so. The guys care about her in a different way than they do one another. They look out for her in subtle ways, though are all very careful not to treat her as a child. The softness between her and Edgar is reflected in the overtly familial way that Leo talks to her, treating her like a very clever niece, but also the person he finds the most calming in the group. It’s fun to see that, even though he treats her as his relative, he doesn’t treat her as a child. She’s the one he goes to when he needs to clear his head. He just wants to listen to her read aloud. He finds talking with her soothing, and it’s clear why. She has a good head on her shoulders, and is rising to the occasion, so while he is caring for her, he also intrinsically understands her need to care for him as well. And Aimee really sells that in-between nature of being 18. It’s such a great portrayal of someone on the verge of being an adult, but not quite there yet. Someone her friends want to care for, but also want to treat like an adult and like any other member of the group. There is a tension in those relationships purely because of her age.

I also like that she’s the most pure investigator of the group. She’s the one who pushes for information, who has a burning desire to KNOW. And that’s a great flaw and danger for a character in a horror setting. The desire for knowledge in cosmic horror is so dangerous. Her willingness to channel spirits right off the bat is dangerous. She is, in her own quieter way, just as reckless as Malcolm and I love to see it. Aimee is throwing herself into this, playing a character who doesn’t know she has limits let, and is eager to push every boundary. I can’t wait to get to know her even more.

CONCLUSIONS

I love that we have two cautious characters and two reckless characters. I love that we have a balance, and we have a group that instantly portrays exactly how close they all are to one another. We’re not sure how these bonds were forged, but they are so well portrayed and so clear. These people love one another. They would do terrible things for one another, and I can’t wait to see what they go through together.

Count me very excited and very eager for next month’s addition to their story (and count me already sad we only get three episodes with them).

#candela obscura #circle of the crimson mirror #I love them all so much already #Malcolm Trills #Leo Amicus #Edgar Lycoris #Grimoria #Imari Williams #Taliesin Jaffe #Alex Ward #Aimee Carrero

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stargirlfics · 1 year

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B U T T E R F L Y

Joel Miller x Black Latina Reader

Summary: Sometimes the path to healing starts with a reminder of what’s been lost

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, death tw, child death tw, some TLOU spoilers but doesn’t follow canon, post-outbreak!Joel, angst, hurt/comfort, trauma and violence mentions, fluff, slow burn vibe, mutual pining

Word Count: 5.6k

My mind has been stuck on the butterfly imagery connecting Sarah and Joel in the show, and in the game too! I grew up hearing from my abuelita that monarch butterflies are symbols of loved ones who’ve passed and I thought that would fit well here! This fic explores grief and pain but also finding hope through it too 🦋

To be soft-hearted at the world’s violent end, that’s where you’d decided to make a home for your heart with all its fragile beating.

Doomed is what they all said you were, surviving the outbreak this long sooner or later came with a price and they had been right, but still, half out of spite, half out of needing something to hang onto, the tenderness of you remained.

Surviving was a miracle and most could go on just grateful to wake up another day, but you’d seen how void life was lived here in the ruins of a former world, and as doomed as it all appeared, you tried your best to find pockets of light where you could, fighting the urge to shut yourself away.

Because maybe one day those pockets of light would be abundant where they were once scarce, maybe one day, if you kept yourself open to it, there would be a sign of a changing tide to let you know you were finally safe.

How strange signs could be, in plain sight but unseen until your brain could catch up with what your soul was feeling, and rarely did they ever come without complexity.

In your case, that complexity came with a stern scowl that belonged to one Joel Miller.

The first whispers you’d ever heard about Joel were that he was grumpy, stubborn, and not the kind of man to be messed with. He was the muscle behind trades done in shadowed alleys here in the QZ, illegal substances, weapons, extra ration cards, you name it.

He was intimidating to most people, even you; having a reputation for being a man of few words and an even shorter fuse would do that but you knew there to be sorrow there too, etched deep in the lines of his face, reflecting like moonlight in his eyes.

You’d never spoken to him, not in all your time in Boston, always seeming to narrowly avoid crossing paths, but you often saw him from afar. In the town square, catching glimpses of him waiting in line to collect a job’s earnings or in the pit, hauling bodies to the acrid cremation pyres smoldering hot throughout the day.

If you thought about it, that’s where you saw the sorrow most.

That old, faded bandana he wore over his nose to block out the stench of burning gave you the clearest view of his eyes; sad, angry orbs fixated on the task like it was penance for him.

All those hushed whispers told you he wasn’t a good man, that he had hurt people to get what he needed, and that wasn’t a surprise, you’d seen it enough to understand the grim nature of the wasteland you were in, how people often turned against each other if they thought it meant they’d live to see another day.

Maybe that understanding was how it happened that day, the first time you’d meet, something in your soul already well tangled with something in his yet neither of you knew it yet.

You’d been expecting someone else at your door that evening, a friend of yours with a bag of good soil snuck in from the outside in exchange for a radio of yours that was in decent shape.

Instead, you were greeted by Joel Miller, bag in hand, a frown already on his face as he explained the switch up, even pointing to a note on the bag in your friend's handwriting to vouch for him.

His voice had caught you off guard, a low, gruff bass in his careful cadence, Texan accent making the words go down smooth.

“Okay, no problem, she did tell me she wasn’t sure if she would really make use of it. You can step in if you want, I’ll just be a second.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have been so trusting.

That’s how people got robbed, taken advantage of, murdered and you weren’t going to get any sympathy from neighbors or any FEDRA soldiers in the area if something were to happen but despite that, and his reputation, you didn’t feel unsafe.

Quite the opposite.

Joel was certainly the grumpy type and you didn’t doubt he was capable of hurting you if he wanted but as you returned with the radio you found him just where you’d left him, his body filling your doorway in a way that reminded you of a guard dog.

Something had caught his eye in the time it had taken you to walk back, gaze fixed somewhere behind you.

It took you a second to realize what exactly he was staring at, eyes tracking him and following until they landed on the butterfly figurine hanging from the makeshift curtains of your kitchen sink window.

Golden hour light warming the window had bathed the glass winged butterfly in its rays, casting fractals of color across the wall and the worn wooden floors.

You studied his face for a moment then, a familiar kind of sadness reaching his eyes, the darkened circles underneath them a little more noticeable now.

You wondered when the last time he got any proper sleep was.

“I made it…” interrupting his thoughts gently you gestured towards the window when he looked at you in question, “La mariposa...took me ages to fit the glass and wire together right but I think it came out ok.”

He grunted in response, finally handing over the bag of soil when you noticed the slightest tremble in his hands.

Oh…so he’d been caught off guard too.

Something about your butterfly had shaken him up and you were curious, who could blame you for being tempted to cross what you were sure he would say was a line, but you pretended not to notice, trying to offer him some privacy, a second to collect himself.

You’d appreciate it if he did the same for you in his place after all.

The exchange was completed swiftly after, a palpable silence settling between you before he was leaving almost as quickly as he arrived, taking the fading summer sunset with him.

–

Joel barely slept that night, woken by nightmares again, a routine he was familiar with, haunted by the same old ghosts but it was different this time, the barbed wire around his heart digging in just a little extra, memories of her surfacing.

Sarah. His Sarah.

He didn’t realize just how long it had been since he was reminded of her this way, of what it felt like to be her father, shutting himself off to that years ago, unable to think about his life with her before because that pain was nearly unbearable.

There is only after, the after in which she doesn’t exist, where he searches for her in his sleep and wakes knowing he won’t find her.

Because he watched her slip away, had pleaded and begged to the skies to bring her back, had held her in his arms, hands stained red with her blood, and had to accept that she was gone and he was granted no time to say goodbye.

Days turned to weeks, months into years and he had learned to operate on a certain level of numbness, just focused on surviving, never getting too attached, acting cold and angry, just a dead man walking.

Until now, his chest nearly caving in with the truth that he was still breathing even after so long spent closed off.

He wasn’t even sure why he’d considered your friend’s offer to complete the exchange at all, he knew he shouldn’t have, the radio you traded wasn’t in as great a shape as he would have liked, he knew that upfront and still begrudgingly agreed, not expecting to feel so exposed, so upended by a simple encounter.

That butterfly shining in the sunlight of your kitchen made his heart stop the second he saw it, flashes of memory surfacing, almost like his little girl was pulled to the surface of his skin again, like if he stepped inside he could reach out and she’d be there.

A dreadful reality had washed that away after a moment, grief swallowing up the hope just as he knew it would, like it always had, but something was undeniably different this time for Joel. A difference that left an ache in his center.

Because for those few fleeting seconds, he had felt alive again.

–

The second time you met Joel was intentional, another bag of soil in exchange for some instant coffee this time.

It was still early morning when he knocked on your door, quiet, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans and a sleepy kind of softness that you hadn’t seen before around the edges of his eyes which made you wish he didn’t look so inviting then.

It wasn’t so hard to look at him as unapproachable as he made himself seem, he was handsome, the streaks of gray peppered in his hair and along his beard lending to his rugged look.

“About the coffee, it’s not as strong as it could be but it’s the best I’ve got,” you handed over a jar, watching him open the lid and sniff its contents.

“That’ll do just fine.”

Relief arrived at his approval, you gathered it’d been a while since he had any and you were glad your stash wasn’t a disappointment.

You watched as he knelt down to set his backpack on the floor, stowing the jar inside and handing you the bag of fertilizer mix you had inquired about.

It wasn’t long now before he’d be out the door again, these things were best kept short and simple but as you thanked him for the exchange and moved to store the bag with your other garden supplies, you noticed a moment of reluctance.

Joel didn’t plan on lingering around now that you both had what you came for but then he was reminded of what he felt the last time he’d been in your space and his mouth was moving with the thoughts that were swimming in his head before he could bite back the words.

“That’s a good amount of soil you have, got some sorta secret garden FEDRA don’t know about?”

Suddenly you felt very silly for wanting to smile at his curiosity but also recognized the significance of him asking.

“Something like that, yeah. I…actually found a spot of flowers growing through one of the QZ fences and I’ve been tending to it. It's no garden but the flowers are in bloom now, first time I’ve seen real butterflies in years.”

You watched him perk up at the mention of real butterflies, furrowed brows hiding the flicker of emotion mere seconds later but it was too late, you’d seen it already.

Up until now, your little patch of greenery had been a private endeavor.

Something for you to put some love and effort in, and just a quiet, secluded place to be, to clear your head or be alone for a while, away from some of the chaos in the streets, and yet here you were, now, carefully asking him if he’d like to see it too.

You thought just maybe, bringing him there would do him as much good as it had done you.

And it’s there, in that moment when he says yes that you see all that hard exterior start to slip just an inch.

It’s an inch you can work with.

–

Early morning dew still clings to the soft blades of grass sprouting up near the fence line, the section where you’d been taking care of the vegetation noticeably more vibrant with color and growth.

Slowly, you’d been replacing the dirt, had saved as many roots and sprouts as possible, taking care in replanting them, and from there, a shabby little makeshift garden bed had formed.

This would be your third week caring for it and now Joel was trailing behind your steps to see it too.

His body language was tense like he couldn’t quite be sure you weren’t actually taking him to some secluded corner to ambush him, but you get it.

Being wary was smart, but you couldn’t lie that it was satisfying to let him take it in without explaining anything first, the tension in his shoulders easing, sagging when his eyes fell upon the dusky blue flowers and rich green leaves and vines growing up from the ground, searching for the sun’s nourishment.

Joel couldn’t be certain whether it was the day’s first tendrils of summer heat making him feel warm or the fluttering orange and speckled black wings of a butterfly nestled atop a marigold.

He glances at his wrist, at the memento that never leaves his side, a broken watch, and there’s a moment of clarity in the silence where Joel can feel it, all the shattered parts of him spilling out, and there isn’t any way he can catch it all, he’s already too late and he knows it.

Panic works its way into his bloodstream, causing his hands to shake, not used to being so disarmed, so flayed open.

His fingers curl into a fist, trying to steady himself, needing a moment to catch his breath, to process.

And there you were, your gentle voice cutting through the noise in his head and that tidal wave of emotion.

“They’re monarch butterflies, which means they’re special,” you’ve moved a little closer now, watching another one land next to its friend on the flower.

“What makes' em’ so special?” Joel takes a deep breath and you do too.

You thought for a second he might shut down and walk away, there wasn’t anything keeping him here after all, he had the coffee he came for and yet still took you up on your offer. That in itself was difficult not to attach yourself to immediately but there was no denying it felt good to know you’d earned maybe an ounce of his trust.

“In Mexico, my abuela used to say they were a sign of the dead coming to visit the living, loved ones, our ancestors, the monarchs carry their souls to us. I think they’re good luck too.”

The smile working its way onto your lips is fond, sad, one you knew he’d recognize, the silent but shared knowledge of loss was a heavy burden to carry. There was no mistake about it, but being here, amongst your flowers and your butterflies made it easier.

Orange and gold halos shimmered around the plant life softly swaying with the wind, your own features now warmed with the climbing sun, brown skin shining deeper under the light.

Joel was looking at you now, following your words. The meaning of what you were both looking upon hitting him square in the chest when that feeling blooms behind his eyes again, that itch of something alive, something beautiful growing again amongst concrete ruins.

And it's there, standing next to you, watching you water the soil while butterflies float around you that he works out what that feeling must be.

Salvation.

–

After that morning, trading goods with Joel became a regular occurrence.

Soil for another stash of coffee or a packet of seeds for a hunting knife in need of experienced hands, neither of you quite sure how it happened but eventually the trades became more like friendly favors to each other than practical transactions.

Your ‘garden’ also became a frequent place for you both to go, so much so that on any given day you could bet he was there, a quick stop on his way back home, or in the morning before the day started, it became an unspoken shared refuge.

Joel helped you fix up the makeshift garden beds when it became clear your tender care of the plants called for an upgrade and you were grateful for it, dismissive at first, not wanting him to feel obligated.

You could handle yourself around a hammer and a few nails but he insisted and you relented, the two of you knelt under the setting sun, working on the task together.

It didn’t matter that it was closing in on curfew time, or that you didn’t really have anything to compensate him for his time because, the moment itself, the small inklings of trust building between you were actually far better.

That’s when you started to see him nearly every day, sitting against bomb-scarred concrete, always facing those marigolds, the ones the monarch butterflies you’d told him about always flocked to.

At first you kept your distance, knowing better than to pry.

It was clear he’d been through a lot, most his age-if you were guessing correctly-had, old enough to have lived a good portion of their lives before the outbreak, the last witnesses of an old world. You wanted to respect that and as long as he was finding some sort of peace here, you were content.

You didn’t mind his company either, he wasn’t much of a talker, but his presence was comforting and familiar and you felt safe with him near.

Eventually though, keeping him at a distance became impossible, both of you stumbling through the uncertainty of what to say to each other yet not giving up on trying at the same time.

And Joel had resisted too, had tried to keep his words short, always residing somewhere in between neutral and aloof but the more he watched you in your element, amongst the seedling sprouts and vines and moss, the more it made him want to talk.

It was easy to find his voice around you.

You were soft-hearted, he could see that and it wasn’t easy to get used to the way you looked at him, like you cared, like you understood something about his brokenness right away, had let him sit here day after day watching the butterflies because somehow you knew it’s what he needed, but he didn’t mind the learning curve either.

His usual annoyance and reluctance to speak about feelings couldn’t keep up this time surrounded by reminders of Sarah, coaxing the small part of him that hadn’t died with her out of its state of numbness, softening him again.

‘You were never gonna do it for yourself’ rings in his ears.

He’d never been much good at that, doing things for himself, and Sarah was always so clever about calling it out, even now, nudging him awake again after all these years.

It’s why he decides to tell you when you ask one day, sitting next to him on sun-warmed stone.

He merely came by to sit for a little while and clear his head and found you already sat in his usual spot, butterfly watching, your eyes telling your secret, that you had been crying before he arrived, his first instinct carrying him forward, to your side.

He offered you some water, even sliced an apple in half to share with you, pleased with himself when he got a smile out of the gesture but remained as quiet as you were, wanting you to feel like you could just be.

“Who do they remind you of?” your voice was small, unsure of how he’d react to the question, overexplaining in hopes it would make him recoil less, “It’s okay if you can’t talk about it, I understand. It’s just that…what I told you about the monarch butterflies, I really do believe in it you know, the people I’ve lost…they feel so close to the surface, like they’re watching over me and I think you feel the same.”

Joel nods after a moment and you’re exhaling a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

It takes him a moment but he finds the words.

“My daughter…her name was Sarah. They were her favorite, actually, since she was bout old enough to talk. I used to call her my little butterfly when she was a baby which, yeah, got real old when she started middle school but I liked to remind her anyways, just to see her roll her eyes at me. Just as long as she knew I loved her, you know, that I never stopped, not since the moment I held her in my hands for the first time.”

It broke your heart to hear.

And it hurt him too, to speak about her and then remember that he had lost her, that twenty years had passed and he couldn’t remember what she smelled like anymore, and he hated the nightmares but without them, he was afraid of forgetting her face, her eyes, the coils of her hair, the sound of her voice calling out to him.

It was only now that he was seeing how deep he’d pushed it all down, bottled up tight out of fear, and then somehow you’d entered his life, Molotov aimed straight at his heart, stunning him into remembering her the way she deserved to be.

“I’m so sorry,” you extend all the comfort you can, knowing there weren’t any words that would ever make it right but you wanted to try anyway.

“Yeah, me too. But you’re right, she feels close, and I know you’ve put it together by now but it’s why I’ve been sittin here every day, I see those butterflies and I see her, I remember her and it feels...good. I didn’t want it to; don’t really trust things that feel good but it does and I wanna thank you for that, for letting me have that.”

He worries he’s said too much, or said the wrong thing, wanting to kick himself because he was never much good at words either but the sight of your lips pulling up into a small smile came as a relief.

“She’s with you, Joel. And there’s no need to thank me, it’s been good for me too, doing all this. I think it helps.”

He nods again, agreeing before asking you the same question, extending an opportunity to open up too; a big step when keeping personal histories to a minimum was the lay of the land around here.

And it wasn’t easy, to talk about the things that hurt, baring your grief to Joel, and trusting him with it but you did and he had held it so gently, understanding it for what it was.

Looking back you think maybe it’s there that things started to change, where your life and his started to merge.

Sometime after that conversation you gifted him one of those glass winged butterflies like the one in your window, showing it to him one evening in the garden, earning you the first real smile you’d ever seen from him.

It was after he told you more about himself, about Sarah, his brother Tommy, recounting happy memories; like the time he and Tommy surprised Sarah with her own soccer ball for her birthday one year, how he’d caved almost immediately the time she begged him to get her a polaroid camera, and you shared too, thinking on good times you’d had with the people in your life.

It meant a lot to Joel that you spent time crafting the ornament, knowing just how deep the symbolism of it went for him.

You were always doing that, looking out for him, planting tiny seed after tiny seed, slowly working your magic on him, ensnaring him deep, making him want to look out for you too.

Under the fading sun again you sat with him, watching the marigolds, the calm, slow fluttering of wings, and it’s in that same spot that you find your hand in his for the first time.

No words needed to be said, this was far better.

A little while later you saw your gift hanging from the window in his living room, right next to the radio you had first traded him for.

The two of you had found yourselves escaping the heat here after some time tending the garden together, pulling weeds, clearing new soil of rocks and rubble, now sharing his couch, a rusty old fan that still somehow worked cooling the sweat prickling the back of your neck.

Curfew hour was nearing and you knew you would have to start making your way back home but Joel warned that he’d heard from a FEDRA officer he did trades with that they were patrolling the streets early the next few nights.

You knew why, it was hard to forget the hail of gunfire last night, a group of Fireflies going after a group of officers on patrol, a fight that neither one had won.

Tensions in the QZ had been high all day since then and Joel suggested that you stay here with him for the night, saying he didn’t want you dealing with anything that might be going on out there.

He was being protective, a disapproving frown on that handsome face of his when you told him you didn’t want to intrude on his space but he was right, things had already started looking a little dangerous on your way back from the garden and you appreciated that he was trying to keep you safe.

So you stayed.

Curled up on Joel’s old, worn couch with a blanket that smelled like him tucked around you, the white noise of the fan still blowing and the knowledge that he wasn’t far, just in the next room over, carried you off to sleep.

–

One night had turned into two and then three and somewhere in the last couple months of summer that were left, you spent most of your days and nights with Joel.

No label had been applied to whatever your situation was with him, you knew better than to ask, this all needed time, and you were okay with that, just content on holding onto this good thing with him.

Because you liked being around, like sharing a space with him and sitting in the garden together, opening up to each other more and more every day.

It was nice watching Joel come out of that hardened shell of his, watching him find it easier to talk about things, noticing him trying to live life more, not as reluctant to connect.

Things were good, not to say that there hadn’t been bad days amongst all the progress made, there were plenty of them in fact.

Days where old patterns became default again, stretches of nights where the nightmares returned, both of you trying to wade through it.

When the aching of old wounds came knocking and the walls came back up again.

You hated to fight with Joel when that happened, and you hated not being on the same page but he was so stubborn it wasn’t always easy to bite back your frustration.

He had told you about his past, about the people he hurt in those early days and it’s something he wrestled with, believing in the goodness you saw inside him when all he could see were the bad things.

It frustrated you sometimes, how he preferred to shut himself off, to you, to Sarah’s memory because he felt like his hands were too dirty, too blood-stained to even try.

“Que, no entendes?! Please, Joel! Stop trying to be something you aren’t. You think you aren’t a good man but bad people don’t get upset about being bad. Do you think you can just turn it off, the part of you that was always a good man, a good father? Well sorry, but you can’t, that’s who you are to your core, I saw it the first moment I met you and every time since then.”

“I’ve killed people,” his tone was mean, and venomous, another attempt at pushing you away. “Goddamnit, it’s not as simple as-”

“I get that! Look I know that you’ve done bad things but you’ve also spent every waking moment punishing yourself for it, do you realize that? All these years you’ve been paying your penance any way you can and I’m trying to tell you it’s okay live well, that you don’t have to torture yourself anymore because we have to try and make something out of all this pain.”

It wasn’t easy to get him to see what you saw but you didn’t back down, even when it would have been easy to, Joel knew it too, guilt washing over him as you looked at him then, tears brimming in your eyes.

“You’ve endured enough.”

It’s those final three words from you that makes him ease up, a reminder you nudged him with often, that he could rest already, could make amends by making a choice to find the light.

He lets you take some space from him, coming to find you before bed because he doesn’t want to fall asleep without fixing things.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair, talkin to you like that. You’re just tryna help my sorry ass and I haven’t thanked you enough. I’m gonna get better at that.”

It’s the first time you ever hug him, noticing the tremble in his hands as he says the words, feeling the sincerity in his voice, unable to stop yourself from all but barreling into his arms.

He’s still for only a moment before his arms wrap around you in return, the two of you bathed in moonlight, that butterfly still hanging in his window, pushing you towards each other again just like it had when you first met.

–

Eventually, the day comes when the monarchs leave, the approaching fall and winter seasons carrying them to warmer places, a solemn change in what had been yours and Joel’s routine.

The absence of the butterflies that had provided so much hope the last few months was felt, but the world was also a lot more open and wide now too.

You no longer slept on Joel’s couch, you slept pressed against him now, and woke with your limbs tangled with his, a quiet partnership forming.

It scares both of you, knowing that you had grown to care for each other so quickly, knowing that was dangerous and reckless but also feeling stronger because you were a team.

You think that’s why you make the decision together, one rainy fall evening when Joel comes home with a message from Tommy.

They had gone through a rough patch recently, being apart from each other for some time and still not seeing eye to eye on Tommy’s choices but slowly, they’d started talking again and there was news that Tommy and the group he was with had gotten a hydroelectric plant that had once belonged to FEDRA up and running.

There was electricity and a place to stay if you and Joel were interested, plus Tommy wanted you to meet Maria, said she did him a whole world of good and this was some of that good in action.

It hadn’t been a hard choice to make even knowing how difficult the journey would be.

This was the chance you’d both been waiting for, and had talked about, a far off dream of running away from all the violence that was inescapable here in Boston, searching for something better out there, and now it was within reach.

So you’d left your garden in the care of a friend you knew would understand its importance, and you bide your time with Joel, making deals, doing jobs, collecting and saving up supplies, and helping him map the way to Jackson.

And then the day came when you left the QZ behind for good, watching the city fade away in the rearview mirror.

Making it to Tommy hadn’t been easy, there had been one too many close calls for comfort but the trust you and Joel had in each other didn’t waver, and here you were, finally on the other side.

Settling in hadn’t been the easiest, especially for Joel, his guard still up but little by little, you both sank into a new way of life.

You quickly learned how to ride a horse and hunt in the woods surrounding the power plant, even making friends with some of the families in the community.

Joel had taken to things a little slower, but even he couldn’t hide for long, helping some of the men in the group with repairs on things that needed fixing, even cautiously attempting to make friends with you.

Small pockets of peace started to open up the longer you stayed and the threat of raiders loomed over that peace at times, keeping everyone on alert for attacks but you all had Joel and Tommy now, always amongst the first to be out there protecting, defending fiercely.

You knew they wouldn’t let anything happen to you here.

As spring arrived again you found a nice spot for a garden, pointing out sprouting flower buds to Joel one day, almost missing the fond smile forming on his lips, both of you knowing what this meant.

You were happy here, and happy being with Joel, the two of you building a new garden together this time, until finally, as the chill spring breeze transitioned into summer heat and sunshine you were sat next to him like you had been what seemed like ages ago, watching the butterflies circle the flowers in bloom in what had become Sarah’s Garden.

Joel made you a promise; to keep going for family, the family you, him, and Tommy were now. And you promised the same, not scared of how much you cared for the man by your side anymore.

It wasn’t perfect, the world was still rotten and the broken parts of you all were still raw, still healing, but this time her light was guiding the way through it and that made it all worth it.

---

A/N: When I saw that butterfly hanging in the window of his place in Boston I just couldn’t resist writing something about how he got it and here we are! This world is so dark and tragic and while this fic doesn’t change those facts, I hope it plants some gentle, hopeful little seeds of healing, because Joel deserves that and so do you as the reader! thank you for reading this, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! 💌

some tags no pressure! @inklore @allaboardthereadingrailroad @yelenas-lova @ozarkthedog @amethystwonders11 @blkmorticia @moreofem @eupheme @obiknights @tarrenterror25 @superhoeva @buckyhoney @plumbits

#amalia writes #joel miller x reader #joel miller x black!reader #joel miller x woc #joel miller x black reader #joel miller x latina reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x black latina reader #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction

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irisintheafterglow · 8 months

Text

has rockstar!gojo been done yet because i have some things to say

"whatcha drinking there?" a second weight sinks onto the couch and you eye the figure warily from the corner of your vision. you can't see his face well but you think it's a guy; he's got bright white hair, round-rimmed sunglasses, and a half-closed black button up.

"not sure; it was ordered for me. something sweet and dangerous, fruity enough that you can't taste the booze," you answer, crossing one leg over another and propping an elbow on the back of the couch. your body was buzzing with warmth in the stale air of the house, and you'd lost sight of your cousin who begged you to come to the party with her. it was a wealthy colleague's 20something-eth birthday and she wanted to pretend to be in a higher tax bracket for the night. though most of the other people at the party radiated predatory vibes, the other occupant of the couch didn't, keeping a respectful distance from you as you continued to try to make out his face.

"i know a little something about being sweet and dangerous," he drawls and you catch the corner of his mouth turn up in a smug grin. despite the cheesy line, he still keeps a polite space between you two. you scoff at the contrast between the flirty words and the chivalrous body language, taking another sip.

"oh, goodie, another perv ready to slip something into my drink and take me god knows where until i'm a tragedy on the local news," you deadpan and, to your surprise, he laughs. his laugh is boyish and light; it sounds like sunshine. your heart and mind are at odds with each other, one telling you that he might be a good one and the other cautioning against sweet-talking men at parties.

"have people actually tried that on you tonight?" when his laughter dies back, his voice drops its teasing lilt for something almost...concerned? you shrug, leaning your head in your hand. he mirrors your position and you unconsciously scoot a little closer to him. to hear him better, you reason.

"eh, you know how it is."

"say the word and i'll have them out of here before you can blink." it's your turn to laugh at his pretentious arrogance, but you lock eyes with him over the rims of his glasses. they're electrically bright and calculatingly lethal, like clear blue water during high tide.

"what, you gonna tell your security team to kick them out?" you joke, continuing to nurse the remaining alcohol in your hand. you don't expect him to hum and raise his eyebrows thoughtfully; something in your head whispers that he might not actually be kidding. he was an enigma compared to the others that approached you. he hadn't tried to touch you, get your number, or look down your shirt. odd, yes, and admittedly intriguing.

"i could do that, if you want me to. i don't like it when creeps bother pretty people." he flashes another sly grin and his hair falls to the side as he tilts his head. he was pretty cute, but you were still skeptical.

enough. get down to the nitty gritty. "what do you want?"

"hmm?" his sharp eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"what do you want, if you're gonna call me pretty? you want my number, or my socials, or to take me home or something?" you stare at him expectantly and his eyes narrow ever so slightly like he was offended. maybe he wasn't used to people outwardly asking him if he was going to toy with them.

"truthfully, all i really want is to try your drink, and possibly get your name."

"oh," is all you're able to manage after any more biting words disappear from your vocabulary at his honesty. it was off-putting how nice he was, but you decide to humor him and hold out your glass. there's barely any liquid left in it, but he downs it in a blink.

"oh, shit. that's really good."

"right? i wish i got the order because i wanna be able to get that wherever."

"if you do get the order, send it my way too because that is delicious." from what you could tell, it was mostly vodka, with a little bit of strawberry or cherry punch on ice. there was another flavor you couldn't place, something fresh and earthy. maybe mint?

"i'll ask my cousin, then. hopefully she isn't too shit-faced to relay what she told the bartender." he laughs again, that breathy chuckle that made your heart skip a few beats. "how do you know the birthday girl?"

"friend of a friend of a friend."

"i see. this place not really your scene?"

"it is, sometimes. depends on the people present."

"what's your usual scene, then?"

"concerts, mostly." he runs a slender hand through his hair and you fight the urge to stare at its elegance. his voice was smooth and melodic and you leaned closer to him until it was the only thing you focused on. you're close enough to see his fingernails, painted alternating shades of red, blue, and purple. he looks at you like you're the best thing at the party and the rest of the noise fades into the background. "i like when music connects people. it's the closest thing we have to invisible strings tying everyone together, you know?" so he's the poetic type.

"mhmm. do you play any instruments?"

"i sing, sometimes. my band plays in this area."

before you can ask his name or give him yours, a tall man with his hair pulled back and a woman with a short bob steals the stranger away. he glances back at you apologetically, murmuring something about it being a pleasure to meet you. at the end of the conversation, you were left with an empty glass and an unshakable feeling of disappointment.

the subtle ache in your chest whenever you thought of him lasted several more days than you would have liked it to. you texted your friends about it numerous times for cathartic reasons but nothing worked. you wanted to figure out the mystery behind his identity and it was driving you out of your mind. the unrelenting feeling of restlessness was replaced by dread when your cousin dragged you to a concert in some underground venue, insisting standing as close to the stage as possible. you agreed on the condition that she order you another glass of the drink you had during the party.

despite the loud screams echoing through the chamber and the bodies knocking against your arms, the music wasn't terrible, especially when you had a few more drinks. as the night progressed, you found yourself constantly drawn to the lead singer. intuition said you'd met him before, even though it was impossible considering that he was one of the most popular musical artists on the planet. music officials called his innate talent and musicianship the most powerful of the time, earning him the nickname of "honored one." he had a reputation for being a rulebreaker, constantly voicing very blunt opinions regarding the older, more conservative artists of his genre. he was also rumored to be a player, always hopping around from lover to lover and never staying with one too long. it drove the fan accounts on twitter absolutely mad.

even if he was a heartbreaker, he was a professional nonetheless. he certainly knew how to put on a show, sweat dripping from his spotlight-shining hair and licking his lips enticingly while he sang sweet nothings to the audience of swooning fans. his crowd work was admirable and you found your face heating up when he crouched down in front of you between songs. his voice was raspy and overtly flirtatious, but it still bothered you that you'd heard it before the show and couldn't pinpoint where.

"hey there, pretty. you likin' the show?"

"mhmm, the 'drenched in sweat' look is really doing it for me."

"well, i used the last of my water to uh, baptize those ladies over there," he remarks, gesturing with the mic to a group of teenage girls that were shrieking at the top of their lungs. "mind if i get a sip of what you're having?"

"as long as you don't turn it into a super soaker."

inches away from you, you realize his eyes are a vibrant shade of blue and they crinkle at the corners from your joke. he laughs, boyishly happy and contagiously bubbly. you'd seen those eyes and heard that laugh weeks ago, on the night your cousin brought you to that party. in that moment, the realization collides with your body like a semitruck and your legs nearly give out. everything makes sense instantly: his voice, his hair, the way he called you "pretty."

you'd been flirting with gojo satoru.

and he was right in front of you, asking for your drink again in front of hundreds of people.

after a tense moment of stunned hesitation, you carefully hand him your glass and watch his face wash over in realization when he takes a sip. despite the screams from the crowd at the intimate interaction, all you could hear is his voice.

"oh, shit." he stares at you so intensely your heart does a backflip before slamming into your eardrums. the way he's looking at you tells you all that you need to know, all that you wanted to know ever since the night of the party. "that's...that's really good." he observes you for half a moment longer before he remembers what the hell he was doing. he stands to continue the show, but he flashes a knowing grin like he was telling you a secret.

"welcome to my usual scene, pretty."

your cousin is shocked, to say the least, when a security guard finds you after the show and requests your presence backstage.

how did this turn into 1.6k words i meant for this to be a drabble lol but anyways hope you enjoyed it

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk au #satoru gojo #jujutsu kaisen

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boiledbirdy · 1 year

Text

BRAD FUCKIN WAYNEEE

headcannons i have abt this sweet himbo fratboy

This man is the largest in the family, like 6’6 and built like a non-green hulk. He can easily pick up and fireman carry Bruce and Jason

Is the guy in a frat party to sit with girls and hear about them bitch about periods and now carries a little pack with him everywhere that has a few tampons, pads, hand-warmers (for on the go heating pads), and Tylenol and Advil

Where does he keep this stuff and the random assortment of weird things he has, you ask? He wears a fanny-pack

read it and weep y’all he wears fanny-packs, usually the cool way over his shoulder, but mostly around his waist since he carries a backpack almost 25/8

He drives a beater truck (just an old car whose been through like three accidents and is still going strong) specifically a 1991 dodge D250 truck with a scratched up white paint job where there are dents, scratches, and a few patches of off white paint on dents that was sorta DIY-ed

his keys 🔑 have a weird ass mesh of keychains on it like: Ally flag keychain and a flag keychain for every single label a person has come out to him with, also a keychain from every museum, tourist spot he’s ever been, also a beer and bottle opener he’s a frat boy duhhh, he has a little bracelet that is made of sparkles and purple beads that steph gave to him but it was too small so he put it on his keys, a collage logo keychain, a keychain from his local gym and one with rugby on it etc

the keychains and keys are never ending

HE PLAYS RUGBY, argue with the wall.

getting a bachelors and masters in sports medicine

he makes sure to give Duke, Damian, Cass, Steph, and Tim copies of his keys first (the rest of the fam too they just get priority)

A) because they are the kids, and he wants them to know that he has an open bed any time

B) cause he’s the sibling to not get mad if they are intoxicated in any form and will cover for them

This next one is so important to me

He takes Tim to his first midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, same with Damian

He pretty much eats at the Wayne mansion every night but sleeps at his apartment

Shows Damian some good rock’n roll ex Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sublime, Ramones, The Clash, Oingo Boingo, Ghost, Blonde, Foo-Fighters (i can make a playlist if wanted)

Just will sit and have a beer with Jason and sit in silence or talk about weird things that happened today

Steph and him have study sessions together

He will watch any ballet practice Cass wants him to see and he never misses a competition or performance

he sends Tim stupid skateboard tricks and fails videos (tiktok or insta reels) daily and then once a month they take Brad’s truck to a park and Brad sits on a ramp and cheers Tim on like its the Super Bowl

Watches Dick’s dog when he’s away from home and they both watch Barbie movies together

He gardens at Alfred’s request, yes he sucks but this man cannot not say no to the tidbits of Alfred’s life story he learns

Can kick back like 4 kegs of beer with no fucking consequences, he has a liver of steel thanks to Brucie Wayne

He’a the high guy in the bathtub at frat-parties and will give shitty or good life advice its 50/50 honestly

Does stupid white people fraternity things that would kill a normal person but he just is quirkily busting it down and Death just cannot vibe with him

makes (and i cannot stress this enough) the best and i mean best, (Alfred and Ma Kent can’t win in this one) brownies. Whether they are edibles or not they are the best.

has done the Tide-Pod challenge and survived

He is the Frat God of Gotham

Him and Duke are like the best duo

They blast Rock and Rap so that all five cars in every direction can hear it

Duke has the habit of putting weird ass bumper stickers on Brad’s desk and bed frame (at his apartment, they Do Not fuck with Alfred) Brad smiles fondly every time he finds a new one

Brad = Mark, ya know the tiktok sound

Him and Harper simp over women 🙏 together

In his fanny-pack, truck, and various rooms he has stim toys/do-hickeys bins or sections

bc he has Nerodivergent siblings and he was just trying

he asked kinda rude blunt questions, he didn’t know anything and he kinda (really) sucks at subtlety and reading a room but he was just trying to understand

He will take Damian to amusement parks and zoos pretty much bi-weekly

The girls can put on a horrible outfit and makeup and he will think he looks fabulous and no one will ever tell him that he’s sporting fashion and makeup crimes

has a small hidden bookcase of Wings of Fire, Warrior cats, Land of Stories, etc.. cause Damian is embarrassed to admit he actually likes reading them

Watches the trashiest brain rotting tv shows like Dance moms or keeping up with the Kardashians

Goes to any march or parade his siblings or friends are going to so: A) he can be that decked out ally tank of a man passing out water bottles and granola bars B) so if the police are back on their BS he can protecc atacc and throw that tear gas bacc

*Sniff 🤧* I have something I need all of you to know, I say this with a heavy heart *holding back tears 😥* Brad is a former highlighter kid— *single tear falls*

This fucking himbo stud-muffin has slept with, kissed, crushed on, and went on dates with men, but still doesn’t realize that he’s Bisexual

his favorite flavor ice cream is pistachio and carmel

KNOWS NOTHING and i mean nothing about zodiac signs

Has been caught in the middle of Gotham Rouge and does not understand what the fuck is happening

He either Teddy Bear fratboy golden retriever energies them to friendship or friendly acquaintance or annoys them to the high hells of mosquito bites on your butt

^I can expand if wanted

His phone you ask?

Screen cracked like rice crispys

apps more disorganized than the random shit drawer in someone’s house

he has a model 6S and will not upgrade or replace it to save his life.

he has an otterbox case and we all know it, no more denial

Okay thats my time yall see ya

#brad wayne #batfam #batfam hcs #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra wayne #cass cain #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #brads contact for Bruce is infact Brooshy dad #He infact has paw patrol bandaids #If damian gets a scrape with brad paw patrol bandaids only

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cherryfennec · 1 year

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Okay this is probably common knowledge but I JUST realised that in Super Paper Mario Tippi and Luigi are parallels.

SPM SPOILERS BTW (in case someone reads this or sees the art by accident)

Like it didn't hit me before and now it came at me like a truck that:

- Both begin the two main plots. (Tippi causes Blumieres tragedy to begin when she finds and helps him, Luigi is the one heavily suggesting to leave the house to do something and causes Mario's journey to begin)

- Both at one point work for the side that their close ones are actively fighting against.

- Both suffer a temporary memory loss and are separated from their loved ones, dissapearing without a trace.

- When they DO get reunited they're physically changed enough for their friends to not be able to tell it's them (so close yet so far).

- Both ultimately play a role that is capable of changing the tide of everyone's lives (Tippi being a necessary component to save all worlds, Luigi being a necessary component in destroying everything).

- Both are loved by an individual who is forced to watch them suffer. (Bleck seeing Tippi react to his doings and ultimately having to give up her life, Mario seeing Luigi be used as a tool to wreck mayhem, both as Mr.L and as the Chaos Hearts vessel).

Going by this pattern there's also the fact that the one who fought for good dies and the one who fought for evil (unwillingly but still) lives.

This entire game has this underlying tone of balance, a soft hint of it at least. Where there's good there's evil, in this case quickly referring back to the memory loss; Tippi starts off cold and seemingly a bit rude, changing with time into a kind soul she once was. As for Luigi he starts off kind and develops into a mean, unempathetic person, at one point even coming across as shallow (at least to me, I'm talking about the dialogue exchanged in the destroyed Sammers Kingdom, the way he replies gives off massive 'I don't care anymore' vibes).

Both cases show the nicest people being changed, being forced to change. They loose what made them loved in the first place to benefit another party regardless of their beliefs.

God this game makes me think, it's damn emotional when you look deeper.

I was listening to 'Champion of destruction' by TheManOnTheInternet while walking in circles in the school hall when this whole thing clicked... Bruh.

#spm #super paper mario #super mario #luigi #mario #count bleck #spm tippi #myart #paper mario

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thousand-winters · 4 months

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We know that Darius mainly ignored Hunter and Eber would growl at him but how do you think the other coven heads treated him? Not good obviously but in what way?

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASK. I've had my eye on those little shits for a while /lh

So first of all, I just know Hettie and Osran were the nastiest ones. How? Have you ever noticed they're the ones that shove/elbow/something Hunter at the beginning of Any Sport in a Storm? That was so damn uncalled for, it's not like Hunter was physically trying to stop them from leaving, and it haunts me a little bit that he did his little pained sounds but didn't even call them out on it, feels like a regular occurrence.

I feel like for Osran it was probably a case of him being really old and as such, dismissing Hunter as a dumb kid who doesn't know what he's doing, even more than the others. Like... he's been here since quite possibly the establishment of the Empire, he's NOT going to listen to a spoiled brat, and he has no patience left for anyone when he's well settled in his rank by now. There might also be some resentment about having spent so many years in service of the Empire and yet being told he has to listen to this random kid? Emperor's nephew or not, he can't be bothered to care.

Hettie, interestingly enough, seemed pretty neutral even while pushing Hunter, she didn't have her sadistic little smile from King's Tide, though I do believe it has to do with her ruthlessness that she doesn't give a crap if she hurts this kid. I think it would be sort of interesting if with her it's a mix of, well, that she's just like That, not caring about inflicting pain in others, and that he's annoyed with Hunter in particular due to her pride. She's the Head Healer and yet Hunter has never once gone to her, not that she would have been gentle with him but it feels as if he were saying he's better than her.

In any case, I feel like those two were the type to push and trip Hunter whenever they had the chance, never going as far to beat him up or anything but still getting physical a bout it.

Now Terra and Adrian were probably the ones who liked mocking him verbally the most, perhaps Adrian a little more. In the same scene in Any Sport in a Storm, his eyes follow Hunter even as he continues smiling and walking away, which is... definitely something. Having some fun seeing him trying to get their attention, I guess.

Honestly, from Adrian it's not so surprising, since he seems to find anyone but himself incompetent, and he has no regard toward children at all, I think he liked making mocking comments whenever he had the chance to put Hunter down. Terra, on the other hand, has that fake sweetness of hers that ends up being condescending, so I feel like with Hunter she probably was like "awww, what a poor, pathetic little thing (:", which of course Hunter would have picked up on no matter how deceivingly nice the words could be.

I would think Vitimir would be more the subtle type, rolling his eyes at Hunter from time to time and such, but considering he also stubbornly tried to stay at the throne during Watching and Dreaming, I'm not really counting on him being smart. Perhaps I would bet on him just making some slight annoyed sounds and faces at him most of the time and indulging in pushing him around as well when he feels like it.

Mason voted most likely Coven Head to be nice other than the rebels. He has the vibe of "I have no idea what's going on, I'm just going with the flow" to me most of the time, frankly, but he had to notice what the others did. I tend to imagine him as noticing that, but not caring enough to ever try to stop it, very "not my business" kind of behavior which, you know, isn't great, but the bar is in hell when it comes to the Emperor's Coven 😭

#you pressed my 'many thoughts about characters that appear like five seconds' button #i hope you're pleased with this sakfhkdsg #the owl house #toh #hunter deamonne #hettie cutburn #adrian graye #terra snapdragon #toh mason #toh osran

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sepublic · 1 year

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Anyhow, I want people to understand the significance of me crying over TOH ending because. I generally do not cry. It’s hard for me to cry, I feel sadness and grief sure! But tears themselves are difficult. And as much as I love media, it’s very rare and hard for it to make me genuinely cry. Other cartoons and shows I’ve gotten into haven’t done it, but...

The Owl House genuinely made me cry. After the grief of Agony of a Witch, the lonely despair of King’s Tide, and so many other painful moments. The Owl House finally made me sob, genuinely, wails I had to cover up, hot tears, sore eyes and a dripping nose. I heaved and made myself cry even more, because goddamn is there such a relief in the catharsis of feeling this pain, and knowing it means you’ve felt something, you’ve felt happiness to begin with.

So yeah. The Owl House has always been pretty special to me. But I think this expression of how I felt was low key what I was waiting for, working towards, after the finale. The absence hurts, but it makes me appreciate all the more the presence it entails for TOH in my life. For the community, for the experiences, the analyses, the genuine fun and laughter and speculation! The hype and friends I’ve made along the way, me building up my own skills as a reader thanks to this show!

I remember being enamored by The Owl House’s first announcement in February 2018, the first ever, possible public reveal of that show; You could’ve only known it beforehand if you worked at Disney and/or were one of Dana’s friends. Something about Luz, about Eda, about King... The very premise itself, the magic. Something about this show felt special to me, I had a really good feeling about it I couldn’t explain.

I ended up checking Dana’s Twitter obsessively for updates, was excited when she posted this one art of Luz and King having an ice cream run, while Eda was displeased with a little demon trying to get her dessert. I expected mostly casual things, but something about the vibes, the magic and wonder experienced through the lens of Luz... It got to me in a legitimately depressive state of my life.

Because I was depressed. Suicidal, even. It was perhaps the worst phase of my life ever, and I hope it’ll stay that way. The beginning of 2018 felt like me finally getting over the big hurdle, that enormous halfway point at the top, and how it was all relatively smooth, downhill sailing from here. So it feels fitting that it was the beginning of the easier part that TOH was announced for me. All I knew were Luz, Eda, and King; I eventually gave up checking Dana’s accounts for art, because I was SO excited and impatient for this show, inexplicably.

That’s probably why I missed Dana’s little sneak peek of Amity Blight, haha... But anyhow, TOH gave me something to look forward to. Something to live for. And when I finally got a shot of Eda throwing treats to Luz and King, the former taken aback by the eyeball, the latter having it bounce off his skull. It didn’t make it to the final cut obviously, but it was my first glimpse of how the show itself would look.

I was in despair when The Owl House was delayed to 2020; I had to wait another whole year for it! And going from 2018 to 2019 was painful enough as is! But man... Was it worth it. The first teaser, the mystery and wonder it promised. My Bionicle brain freaking out over the reveal of the Boiling Isles as a giant corpse.

And then the theme song. Me learning Luz’s VA, scouring very obscure media to get an idea of how she might sound like. And finally I heard it, we got other announcements; Eda by Wendie Malick, who made perfect sense, and King by Alex Hirsch, cue those obnoxious Bill Cipher theories I still hate to this day!

Some crew members announced cupcakes they made, complete with banners like “Drinkers Coven” and I got hyped for this little content. I wanted to try cashew meringues because of it, and later recognized the repurposed frames of Luz, Eda, and King in actual episodes. I saw some concept art and expressions removed from the show, and was glad to recognize them later, as I did a frame-in-process of Luz wondering about her magical destiny.

I checked Tumblr but it seemed like I was the only person actively anticipating, and not just including TOH as part of a larger collection of media posts. I wanted TOH for itself, someone was curious if it had owls, I scoured the first teaser for a screenshot to satisfy them! I wanted more people in on it! I saw some clips, figured out Luz’s ethnicity from her squealing “Ay que lindo!” in response to King.

I made a few ancient posts, my first TOH post was me admitting I was excited and wondering if anyone else was. It got NO traction, at least not until much, much later... But that didn’t stop me! I had a dream where Luz was revealed to be disabled, her legs were prosthetics and Eda ended up giving her new magic prosthetics styled after owl feet. This would prove weirdly prophetic... Less so, my dream about Luz being the Anti-Christ (this was framed as a good thing), hence why she found the isles.

I speculated Luz was an orphan who had nobody, hence why she found the isles; But then an article mentioned her mother Camila. I went with that spelling until some end credits confused me with a typo that gave us Camilia, which led to a big fandom debate later until Dana clarified.

I analyzed the trailers, trying to figure out the plot and trajectory, wasn’t quite right there. I was happy to see TOH would have full 22-minute episodes, allowing them to get nitty gritty and elaborated, instead of truncated into 11-minute segments. Boy did that pay off, and looking back I can appreciate what a rarity that was, an achievement. People pointed out the anagram for me...

I speculated on the titles, confused bits from Covention with scenes from the first episode, wondered if Escape of the Palisman referred to the tower. And in the end, the first episode finally came out, after I was enjoying Infinity Train Book 2, and I was enamored. It was wonderful, it utterly blew me away and was all I wanted and more. I had to get more! The moment Luz spoke of liking editing anime clips into AMVs and all that other stuff, I felt seen, and that was just the beginning.

I spoke my praises, but alas there was no fandom. The next week, I was surprised to find posts for the next episodes so early, and learned the episode was released ahead of time on DisneyNOW, so I immediately subscribed. I was excited to meet Amity Blight, Willow and Gus; And I was caught by surprise by how openly mean Amity was when she debuted! But I analyzed the sub-text of her actions and dialogue, and was vindicated.

Amity was such a fun and interesting character because she really felt like a puzzle that we unlocked more and more pieces of, to better understand her. And I really got the sense of TOH’s re-contextualization and surprising character continuity, such as when King’s B-plot in one episode actually became the focus of the very next! You could tell the writers really cared about making a deeper story for kids and teenagers.

One nice memory was when I wrote a post appreciating Willow and Luz’s friendship, the idea of Willuz as a ship; I took a shower and went back to check afterwards, and got notes! I analyzed the mechanics of glyphs deeply when they were first revealed, getting nitty-gritty; I remember the events of a few nights and what happened around me writing a post, comparing glyph magic to artificial replication of dragon breath!

I looked for crew art, which alerted me ahead of time to the existence of Emira and Edric, thought I didn’t know their names, and was delighted to learn Amity had older siblings!!! They were hers! Shoutout to @anistarrose who was one of the few people in the tag at this time. I really appreciate that post where you called out people constantly trying to make King into Bill Cipher in a serious manner, and the annoying implications of it. And how you realized a tweet poem by Dana foreshadowed Warden Wrath and the Emperor’s Coven... AND THE CODES TOO!!!

I distinctly remember this one meme video in the tags, a song singing “This girl is a lesbian” as Amity showed up as the punchline. I thought it was cute and loved the idea, I had no clue...! I even tried to analyze the dates on her diary entries because I was so obsessed with the show and wanted more, trying to see if I could figure out a calendar...

Spoiler alert, I didn’t. but it was FUN trying! Putting in all of this unnecessary effort for a detail nobody cared much for, because you could tell the crew were people who did the same, Dana even confirmed it later for herself! I remember being shocked about Eda having a curse, that one theory it was a Blight who did it. I suggested King being the Boiling Isles Titan, some Youtube channel even asked permission to use my post in discussing that theory! I was skeptical but checked and it was legit, and was pleased.

I went through that godforsaken Witch’s Apprentice game, realized too late the artifacts represented each episode and gave hints to the rest of 1A. I watched Look Hoo’s Talking, with Owlyvia and Horus, shout out to those who remember! I was amazed by Eda’s self-awareness in deciding things for Luz, especially after Luz briefly called it out in Covention. I found myself so ATTACHED to the characters, which makes sense since I hyped myself from the start!

I remember being surprised to see King wasn’t an overlord... Or was he? The original 2018 announcement suggested as such, but the way the show played around even after the premiere seemingly disproved it was fun. I speculated on what Luz’s magic track would be, enjoyed fanart of her in Potions as Eda was. Seeing Young Eda was a blast, and I remember being so distraught at the idea of her being cursed! I made a post wailing about it and Cat-Harman Mitchell commented LOL as I ranted about taking vengeance on the curser. Little did I know...!

I was afraid of a cliffhanger with Season 1A, but nope! Eda made it out despite the demon hunters! With a hiatus, I was left impatient and needing more. I scoured crew art, speculated on what Emperor Bellows would be like; Covention’s subtitles mispelled him as such, and Dana had to clarify in a tweet when 1B’s trailer released! I got into deep discussion with @fermented-writers-block about the show, about the mysterious owl mural.

I guess TOH was my first start at really analyzing a show from the start, especially since nobody else was around to do it for me. And coming fresh from reading the meta of those who did inspire me, I went HARD, reasoning that even if it was disproven, the process was fun! I analyzed snake motifs, the mysterious green hand that stole King’s crown. I made a whole diagram about parallels between Luz, between King and the Gildersnake, between ‘human counterparts’ to Amity and Willow and Gus. This definitely fed the revelation of Creepy Luz later on...

But yeah. To think the snakes did pay off with Luz’s palisman Stringbean; Back then people speculated as such with the title’s design, and I’m so happy to see it came through! I speculated on lore, wrote my first TOH fics, The Bile Coven and Amity’s Diary Entries, the latter of which I feel particular pride for since it was a character study of her that proved rather on the spot!

I was obsessed with the worldbuilding, came up with my own ideas. Imagined what Bellows and Kikimora were like. I waited IMPATIENTLY, and even had a dream where Eda was captured by Lilith, Kikimora, and Wrath, as well as some covenscouts... But then it was revealed her curse was a result of possession by the creature depicted on the mural; And it progressed to the next stage of converting her body to its own as she got more feral and escaped on her own!

The airship used by the Emperor’s Coven proved prophetic. And after 1B seemingly disproved this idea, 2A brought it back after all and I was delighted! TOH was and is a show that keeps giving for me, makes me feel rewarded for engaging with it, and is grateful even when I’m wrong, as Any Sport in a Storm’s B-plot attests. I made jokes about King being Mata Nui because I was a Bionicle fan. Someone saw a Grom poster in the background of a shot and suggested Lumity, but I didn’t get my hopes up... Hah.

There was a trailer that alluded to an episode of Luz and Eda in a snowy place; I knew of an article on TOH that mentioned a ‘Witch’s Arena’ at the Knee and guessed this was it. I liked the song that played because I associated it with TOH, found out for myself.

Rebecca Rose, shout out to one of the OGs talking about the show on Youtube! She made a wonderful video discussing Amity’s development and potential, speculating on her, and I felt SOOOO vindicated and followed her for it! As you know, she became THE fan channel for TOH, and was eventually ascended to a full-on crew member for it. We’d all watch her reactions and discussions afterwards.

Adventures in the Elements leaked, I correctly guessed it wasn’t the next episode but the one after it. I was delighted to see the twins be good siblings, and Amity’s casual outfit... Before that, I read a fic during the hiatus of Lilith adopting Amity from abuse (Remember when we thought she was that functional?), and it understandably depicted the twins as mean-spirited and basically apathetic. It was a good fic.

I remember joke-speculating that Bellows would be short, because I was projecting analyses of the Pale King from Hollow Knight onto him! I considered making an animatic of Farquaad’s reveal from Shrek but with Bellows, but alas I’d never actually done an animatic and had zero clue lol. I had another dream about Bellows coming in with the Emperor’s Coven to apprehend Eda, who became an even larger version of her Owl Beast form in response.

Then Summer 2020 came around. What a wonderful time of my life... New fans came in when they saw the possibility of canon sapphics with Lumity, and I was exhilarated! So careful not to get my hopes up, but look now... I was hyped to see Belos’ appearance. I analyzed the 1B trailer, took screenshots and organized them to guess which episodes they were. Rebecca Rose found foreign titles of 1B and translated them, and I did note how translations could skew the intended anagram. I remember “Mini-Problems” being an episode title...

You can probably guess the rest from here, since this was about when the fandom really kicked off. And boy did people stick around for it all. I felt delight in knowing Grom was sooner, due to Understanding Willow being paired with Really Small Problems on the same day! Two episodes at once, instead of the original plan for the last two episodes of the season together! I ended up regretting that low-key with the angst and pain of Agony of a Witch, which made me realize how much I cared for Luz, Eda, and King, and made me the closest to crying from the show.

I felt vindicated to see a popular artist like MoringMark begin making fan comics, I had no idea that’d be THE thing he’d be known for, after I knew him as the Gravity Falls guy. I followed Matthieu Cousin on Tumblr, got excited for that trend of dressing up TOH characters for Grom and sending in your designs, with a winner announced! I don’t think that ever happened. Anamanaguchi’s Prom Night became a thing thanks to a crew member, and who can forget Little Miss Perfect? Kwame rolled with the success and I was glad for him. Eda’s gray eye appearing after the season finale in the end credits shocked me.

There was the Reddit AMA, where I prepared lore questions afterwards and had none of mine answered, but we learned a good deal! Especially the telling “Clawthornes are a bird motif” from Dana, her being put into a headlock by a nun. Amity and Lilith weren’t close but as I mentioned a while back, Dana expressed that she also made connections with cartoons as a kid. Odalia liking her kids color-coded, hence Amity’s hair, and Alador being interesting. Which led to a bunch of fanart that proved off the mark but also not? Alador wasn’t THAT well-put but otherwise...

And that stream! That wonderful stream! I contemplated spending so much money via donation to get something. Eda drinking Apple Blood, Spencer Wan almost spoiling Lilith having a Raven form. Our first sneak peek at Hunter’s face, not counting his appearance as the Golden Guard in S1; We all guessed he and the Golden Guard, or “Owl Mask” were the same. I was stumped and baffled how he fit into Belos’ dynamic... Hoo boy. And we all thought Hunter was an adult, even Alador at first, because of those eye bags!

I wanted to see the coven heads, based on their banners we saw; I liked the Potion Head especially and even when his design proved different than I expected, it was still my favorite! I thought Darius might be a Blight grandfather and he DID have a connection... I had a dream of the twins working for Osran at a library and messing with him, recognized Mason from Covention, and dreamed Terra was named Botanica.

Christmas art of the cast came out, I was happy to see Emira and Edric happy there, after being saddened by Dana’s Grom art of them and even writing a whole fic about it, which I’m chuffed about! She also drew Mattholomule... I recall in the wait for Season 1B, she did some art of the characters. Gus playing games, Mattholomule losing to him; King despairing over stubby thumbs.

Fanart of the kids in quarantine, Amity declaring it’d be easy to stay away from Luz, to Luz’s sadness; Boscha being mad because she couldn’t talk to her friends. Remember when Boschlow was a big thing, until Understanding Willow killed off some of the hype? And confirmation that Willow worked out, which we saw come to fruition in Season 2; People were surprised but I wasn’t! And of course, Frewin being his own entity from Bump, and not Bump himself.

But back to chronology, I guess this is where I should end off. Sorry, this ended up being MUCH longer than I intended, and really you could write a book about my experience with TOH and the journey on a meta level. But those were interesting times, those beginning eras. Back when I didn’t feel the need to always add screenshots to posts unless necessary. And it’s making me nostalgic. It’s making me appreciate everything we’ve been through, the roots of my hyperfixation. And how it all led to me finally crying, because I really did build up THAT much of a love for the show.

I found my first fandom I really felt a part of, found so many people who enjoyed my meta and validated me for it! I feel I’ve grown so much as a person because of TOH. And as I nostalgically reminisce on how different the show was then, I appreciate all the more how far we’ve come, and what it is now. Snapping back to the present does make me sad over how much has passed and changed, but I also appreciate it while remembering the ideas I once had.

I’ll miss that era, and TOH as a whole. And boy do I associate that classic ending theme, how I loved the melancholy of those end credits, speculated on them paying off in the finale. And they did...! It feels good to hear it one last time after a year without it, due to the end credits being removed or redone. There was something so idyllic and dreamlike about that original sequence, capturing the feeling of coming home, and I’m glad TOH did that once more with it.

#the owl house #ramblings #long post

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