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ggukkiedae · 3 years

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❝𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ yoonmi talks to a stranger, and her relationship with yoongi hits turbulence

⇢ set in late october 2017

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:

⇢ mentions of disbanding, fighting

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

“Yoonmi, it’s been two weeks. Come sleep at the dorm again?”

Yoonmi didn’t even glance at Seokjin. She just continued to pack up her backpack and got ready to go back to her brother’s house. All she wanted to do was get out of there and avoid the now three boys on board with Namjoon’s idea and the two others who were considering it.

It had been a month since that meeting, and Namjoon had tried to call another meeting halfway through that. It didn’t turn out well. She hated the fact that they kept bringing the idea up. She couldn’t help feeling like she was one step closer to losing her boys.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a hand pulling on hers as she tried to walk out of the door. She turned around to see Seokjin looking at her almost desperately.

“Yoonmi, please,” he pleased.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she wrenched her hand out of his. She turned around and went straight to the building’s parking lot. Seokjin tried to follow after her, but she was already speeding out if the parking lot on her motorcycle by the time he got there.

Yoonmi used the sensation of the wind whipping past her body to calm herself. The sound of her engine revving was familiar. It was comforting. She drove straight to the Han river which was one of the two spots she’d go to when she wanted to think. After securing her motorcycle somewhere it wouldn’t be towed away, she settled as near as she could to the water, her helmet by her side.

“I’ve been going here way too often,” she murmured to herself while dipping her finger into the river and absentmindedly drawing on the pavement.

She sat there for a while, knees tucked under her chin while she thought about everything that was happening. She wondered if she should go to the SHINee boys for advice. They’d been together for nine years at that point. Maybe she could get them to help her convince the boys they can do their own thing and stay together. She let out a heavy sigh and leaned back, raising her chin to face the sky.

“Excuse me?”

Yoonmi turned around and saw a girl who seemed to be a few years older than her judging by the university jacket she wore. Yoonmi tensed a little, still on edge about the last sasaeng incident. The girl must have seen this.

“Oh, sorry to scare you,” she stepped back a little. “I know you’re still probably a little shaken up by the SOPA incident.”

The SOPA incident. That’s what people had started calling the sasaeng incident that happened during their school fair. She thought it would have stayed on the down low. But, of course, people found out about it. It involved members of BTS, Wanna One, and NCT. It was inevitable.

Yoonmi looked at the girl for a bit and decided that she didn’t seem like a sasaeng. She looked like she stopped by to destress from university life as well. Yoonmi removed her helmet and patted the spot next to her.

“No, it’s okay,” she smiled, “but how do you know me?”

“My best friend is an ARMY,” the girl responded, “and I’m an Nctzen, so I’ve seen you with Hannah and the Dreamies. I listen to some of your music as well. My name is Yeseul. I thought it would be fair for you to know my name since I know yours.”

Yoonmi smiled. She was a little bit more reassured at the fact that Yeseul wasn’t exactly an ARMY. There wasn’t much of an expectation for her, and that meant this person couldn’t possibly be some weird stalker.

“What brings you here? If you don’t mind telling me, though.”

“I come here a lot,” Yoonmi shrugged while looking out at the water. “I come here to think or to write. It’s a nice place to clear your mind. Well, while there aren’t any people. They’ll start coming in around an hour, though.”

“I do the same thing,” Yeseul gasped. “I just moved here a few months ago for college, and I usually go here after my last class right before it crowds up.”

“University has you stressed, huh?” Yoonmi scoffed, remembering the way her old parents were already deciding her college courses for her when she was nine.

“You have no idea,” Yeseul groaned while flicking some water in front of her. “I’m so stressed out especially since my parents expect me to get a scholarship. I don’t even like my course, but their expectations are so high! I don’t want to disappoint any— Oh, sorry. I got a little carried away.”

Yoonmi gave her a reassuring look. “No, it’s fine. If venting helps you destress, then go ahead.”

“That was pretty much the gist of it,” the older girl laughed a little. Yoonmi giggled a little bit. They sat in silence and stared at the water rushing past the rocks in the river.

“See that?” Yoonmi asked her while pointing down at the river. “One of the reasons I like going here is that. The way the river flows despite there being rocks in the way is like a reminder for me that I can push past obstacles and keep going.”

“I never thought of it that way.”

“Not many people do,” she said before reaching down to kick a small rock over. “You know, this is like a rock for you. But I believe you can get past it. One thing I would suggest, though, is doing what you know you want to do.”

Yeseul looked at the younger girl in curiosity. “Even if my parents don’t support me?”

“Even then,” Yoonmi gave a bitter laugh. “You can’t let other people keep you from what you love. I came here to pursue music, and now I have my dream job and amazing people surrounding me. I’m sure you’ll get the same.”

These amazing people who she never wanted to leave. She frowned a little bit thinking about how she was so close to losing seven of those people. The very people who raised her to be who she was.

Yoonmi could feel Yeseul staring at her. She rubbed her knee a little nervously, knowing she implied her parents being unsupportive. If Yeseul noticed, she didn’t say anything, which Yoonmi was thankful for.

“Thank you,” the older smiled at her. “It’s amazing that you have these amazing people by your side. Your bandmates are like a found family, huh? The kind that stays together forever. Oh, can I ask a favor? But it’s okay if you don’t do it.”

Yeseul didn’t see the way Yoonmi flinched.

“What is it?”

“My best friend, Yongsun, is insecure about her name. I was wondering if you could maybe give her a small video message? It would mean the world to her.”

“Oh but her name is so pretty,” Yoonmi gushed. “It’s like she’s a sun dragon! That’s amazing! No problem.”

Yoonmi accepted Yeseul’s phone and recorded a little message for Yongsun. Just as they were going over it, Yoonmi felt someone walking up to them. She turned and saw Jungkook quickly approaching, a hard look on his face as he saw the older girl with Yoonmi.

“Oppa, this is Yeseul unnie,” Yoonmi introduced while standing up alongside Yeseul. “She goes to university, and she come here to destress like I do sometimes. She’s an NCT fan, and her best friend is an ARMY.”

Jungkook’s look softened as the girl bowed at him in greeting. Jungkook bowed back and slung an arm around Yoonmi.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jungkook told the Yeseul before turning to Yoonmi. “Haeeun texted. She’s asking if you wanna see her new place.”

“Sounds good,” Yoonmi nodded. “Unnie, is there anything you want me to pass to her?”

“If it isn’t a problem,” Yeseul’s eyes widened as she looked in her bag. She pulled out a notebook. “I have a few letters in there for them. It’s like a scrapbook.”

“You do this in class, don’t you?” Yoonmi laughed as the girl’s cheeks went a little red. “No problem, unnie. I’ll make sure this gets to them. Also, would you mind keeping the fact that I go here often a secret?”

“I’ve got you,” Yeseul smiled. “Thank you for today.”

“Thank you, too,” Yoonmi smiled. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet here again.”

The two waved to each other before Yoonmi turned to lead Jungkook to her motorcycle. Jungkook, as crazy as he looked, had brought his helmet with him when he took the cab to the Han river.

“Could you not make me worry like that?” he asked her while they slipped on their helmets and got on the motorcycle.

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t have run off.”

“No, it’s not that, I know where you go whenever you run off. “Jungkook waved his hand as she started the engine. He moved his grip to her waist. “It’s down the street of their old dorm, by the way. It’s the fact that you were talking to a complete stranger! What if it was a sasaeng?”

“I think my instincts have improved,” she shrugged before zipping off.

Yoonmi slipped into her brother’s house with Jungkook on her heels. She was laughing while He recalled how Mark really decided to try and eat the pizza they had all made together the moment it got out of the oven. Then her face fell on the couch of the living room.

What was Yoongi doing there?

They made eye contact, Yoongi’s eyes holding some kind of hope. That hope died the moment she walked straight past him and into her room. She didn’t even notice Yoonsung, who was carrying Yoonseol, standing by the kitchen.

Yoonseol looked up at her dad. “Papa, unnie mad?”

Yoonsung watched as Yoongi got up and sped his way to her room. He shook his head and exchanged a look with Jungkook.

“Unnie’s a little mad at Uncle Yoongi,” the elder told his daughter.

“We’ll give them some time, won’t we?” Jungkook smiled while taking the two-year-old from her dad. “How about oppa plays with you until Uncle Yoongi leaves?”

“Play!”

“Jungkook, her bedtime!” Yoonsung’s words were ignored as Jungkook carried a giggling Yoonseol to her room.

Meanwhile, Yoongi made it to her door just as she shut it. He rested his forehead against it in frustration. He was just a few seconds too late.

“Yoonmi-ah,” he knocked on the door, “open up, please?”

“Go away!”

The words felt like an arrow through Yoongi’s chest. She always loved having him around her, but that wasn’t the case this time. It hasn’t been like that for over a month. He missed having Yoonmi around him outside of promotions and official schedules. He sighed. Now, it just felt like she hated him.

“Please,” he called through the door. “It’s been a month. I just want things to go back to normal.”

The silence that followed felt like days to Yoongi, but he heard the door unlock slowly.

“Normal?” Yoonmi’s voice came before he saw her. The door opened to reveal her frowning. “You want things to be normal? Well, you should have thought about that before even bringing up disbanding.”

“Think about it, Yoonmi,” he explained. “It’s better to end it now than fade out into nothingness. We’ll be remembered as a group who did things no other kpop group has done before rather than the group who faded into nothing.”

He watched Yoonmi as her breath hitched. He noticed the way she straightened out and looked him in the eye, something she never really does with anyone. She ran a hand through her hair while her eyes started tearing up.

“You said it was all eight of us to the end,” she shook her head, voice shaky. “You all promised me no one was gonna leave. You all said we’d stick together no matter what, and, right now, it seems like only three of us are keeping our word. You know, I told someone how I found a family here.”

Yoonmi scoffed and looked away from Yoongi. Yoongi didn’t like that. He didn’t like the way she thought they would leave her. He didn’t like that she laughed at the idea of them as her family as if they hurt her.

“She told me it must be nice to have a found family that would stay forever. I guess that’s not the case, huh?”

“Yoonmi-ah,” Yoongi’s eyes softened.

“Don’t talk to me,” she shook her head at him. “You can’t. Not until you understand that this is nonsense.”

The door slammed in his face, and it was locked. Yoongi staggered backwards as if he was punched. His head drooped low as he left Yoonsung’s house.

Jungkook snuck out of Yoonseol’s room, key to Yoonmi’s in hand. He unlocked her room door and looked around.

“Mimi,” he stepped in, closing the door behind him. “I know you’re not okay. Come on.”

He couldn’t see her, but he could hear the sound of her sniffling. It broke his heart, but it helped him find her. He opened her closet door and saw her sitting at the bottom, head tucked into her knees, body shaking from tears.

“Oh no,” he knelt down in front of her. She looked up at him, tears running down her face. Jungkook rubbed them away with his sleeves.

“l fought Yoongi oppa,” she whispered before launching herself into Jungkook’s arms. “He hates me.”

“No, no one can hate you,” Jungkook kissed the side of her head, “especially not Yoongi hyung.”

Jungkook pulled her closer to him, trying to make sure she knew he was not going anywhere. He hated that she thought anyone could hate her. He hated that she was hurting because of the people she trusts with her life. He hated that she has been falling apart slowly for a month and that he could barely do anything about it. He hated the timing of everything.

He hated how it affected him more than it should.

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