#having no insurance fucking sucks why did my dental and vision end before life insurance?

[madnessismylover]

Tw: negative

Wish you could like... sue your depressed for all the time and money it costs to take care of it and anything else that results from it.

I never wanted depression so why do I need to pay for the things that make me not want to off myself? (Pills/therapy/etc.)

For the rest of my life I'll need to pay for the things that are gonna keep me alive because of something I cannot control. I can't just tell my brain 'hey, work properly so we don't wanna fucking die'

If I hadn't been depressed in school I would've planned ahead, I would have been better than where I am today.

I never thought I'd get to 18 and I'm gonna be 26 in April. I don't blame past me because they weren't doing well. Unmedicated. I don't wanna go back to that. It was scary. Actively thinking it's easier to die is fucking terrifying.

Living is so fucking expensive.

#tw suicide mention #tw suicide idealization #paid $400 today to take care of cavities that formed because I don't care enough about myself to floss amd brush every day #and this was just the first appointment out of three. #having no insurance fucking sucks why did my dental and vision end before life insurance? #i only have another two months of that and most of the antidepressants i take are gonna be too expensive #i have to get a new therapist because they don't take the only insurance I'm gonna qualify for #ik i never thought I'd make it this far but fucking hell i never thought it would be this bad #so many bills and it all just doesn't seem worth it #can't get a job have to take care of my 101 grandma who is miserable and actively prays for death (which ya know is great for ME to hear/s) #dads got cancer moms the only one working shes gonna be 67 and wanted to retire YEARS ago but can't afford to #no car so even if i could get a job i couldn't get there #everything is about fucking money #and i know people have it worse but that doesn't make my situation any better #I'm just so done.. #tw negative