#he hasnt developed the Instincts. but i have as dick grayson very clearly has and the Instincts say small child attacking needs therapy

[iron-sides]

ok so on one level i do think tim will hold damian trying to kill him against him like. for years and years if not for EVER. i am nothing if not a believer in tim drakes ability to hold a grudge. how ever it occurred to me today that my little sister used to like. attack me, right. unprompted. she didnt have any way to deal with her feelings other than anger & violence and she couldnt take it out on my parents so it was All directed at me until she was at least 10 and even then we werent close until she hit around 13 or 14 because we (and by we i mostly mean she) learned how to compromise and also because i had started figuring out how to get my Autism Needs met and had more energy to spend on improving that relationship. anyway the point im making is that and it never occurred to me until like today how unreasonable this is but i have never actually held any instance of physical violence (and i do mean physical violence like hitting kicking biting slapping-- i used to have a habit of turning my back to her any time she seemed upset because she Would come at me and it hurt less on my back like. neither of us knew how to fight but i didnt rlly want to hurt her (i did a few times but almost always in the form of like. "oh bee pushed me down the stairs when we were younger" <- girl you were attacking me i needed you out of the room so i could melt down and u were literally attacking me. it wasnt on purpose it was the natural consequence of you attacking me) anyway ive never held the physical violence against her longer than like a few hours (been nervous sure but not mad) because like shes my little sister and i love her and that was the case even when she hated me. its something my parents did an okay job of acknowledging at the time that like any time the lamented that we didnt get along where i could hear it came with a "we know youre trying, she's the problem" (and she was to be clear. i say this with love but she was very much the problem i was the only person she ever attacked and i never hit back except to try and put space between us). anyway. the point is i do think i would react to damian wayne the exact same way dick grayson does if put in a similar situation because if my sister had had assassin training she would have done serious damage and it wouldnt have changed a thing

#my thots #like i would give the world for her. she is my number fucking one thats my girl!!! #im so proud of her at all times and i love her so much and im so glad she knows she can come to me and that we're friends now #i get rlly sappy abt my sister actually there are not words in english to describe how much i love her. shes the reason i love older #sibling characters so much because theres no other feeling in the world like the way i feel about her #anyway. she described to me in detail one time how she was going to kill me. she was three and i was five #i kicked her out of my room bc she did this after we had a minor argument abt sleeping arrangements for the sleepover we were having in my #bedroom #looking back the image of three year old sister waiting with an axe to kill me is rlly funny but it was a lot less funny at the time lol #idk how much sense this makes but i do think part of the reason i love damian and dicks dynamic so much is bc it half reminds me of her #if she was younger and our parents were more overtly shitty than #yell at us about stupid things shitty #anyway i think its an oldest sibling thing like i dont think tim would ever come around because hes not been an older sibling for that long #he hasnt developed the Instincts. but i have as dick grayson very clearly has and the Instincts say small child attacking needs therapy #and patience #this post makes no sense but im not gonna try to fix that bc i need to write a speech #loveposting