#he spends that time unpacking his trauma & unlearning negative coping mechanisms & fear responses

[raiiny-bay]

thinking about the monster boyz AU & how kel never gets to be truly happy in it...

#& having the audacity to feel heartbroken about it as if i’m not the one who wrote it #like. ok. kel has a pretty shit life in every universe but #the silver lining is that he eventually gets to break free & be himself & have the life he wants #but in mbz he spends his entire childhood in survival mode #he gets like. 1 year maybe 2 where he gets out from under his dad’s thumb but #he spends that time unpacking his trauma & unlearning negative coping mechanisms & fear responses #& figuring out who he is & what he wants #& before he can make any real progress the fuckin apocalypse happens! & he’s right back to survival mode #then he DIES & becomes red which comes with a whole other set of problems #like he meets teeth who in theory is the love of his life #but they’re both too messed up to do it right & the relationship is so intense #& so unhealthy & not at all how love is supposed to be #& then eventually he dies again for real this time #like. man. i’m sorry kel lol #on the bright side. i do have the apocalypseAU which is the mbzAU but the boys do not become monsters #instead they meet as humans and survive the apocalypse together. it’s a much happier version of the story lol #rainyrambles