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scover-va · 2 years

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The fandom-determined The Hex Sexyman (among other things)

The google form has been open for, what, a month ish now? So I'm documenting the results now. Hoorah. Edit bc I forgot to add a read more and this is fairly long

Sexyman Results

Am I surprised by this one? No, absolutely not.

First place goes to Irving! I am in no way whatsoever surprised, I'm very aware of the grip that guy has on this fandom, so hey, kudos to him. Proud of him, or whatever. His prize here gets to be art. Kinda. If any of you have been following a recent trend here on good ol' Tumblr then I'm sure you know what to expect here.

Second place goes to both Lazarus and Vallamir, which I'm once again not surprised about in the least. I wouldn't exactly give mr wet paper towel of a man the title of sexyman, but hey, the guy probably has the highest or the second highest kill count of the main characters. So, he gets that. Vallamir doesn't surprise me, though. I mean all this in the nicest way possible btw

And then finally, third place goes to both Bryce and Lionel! Which! Both of those surprised me! Especially Lionel. But hey, glad to know y'all like him or whatever.

If enough people ask I'll add the written explanations for everyone's picks. I'm gonna wait til people say it's okay, just in case

Sexywoman Results

This one obviously had much slimmer pickings compared to the guys, and I would be lying if I said I was surprised by the results.

Sado gets first place, which was expected, she IS on the Sexypedia Wiki AND fits the criteria much better than a lot of other options. I mean. Colour palette, being evil, being chaotic, clown, suit, blah blah blah. She fits the bill perfectly, and I'm sure she'd be flattered. Or she'd kinkshame you guys. I don't know.

Rebecha got second place! Also not surprised! I'm, like, 99% convinced at least half of the fandom played the game post-Inscryption just for Rebecha content, so her coming up right behind Sado is NOT a surprise to me. She's fucking earned it though. Her reward is some goddamn sleep, because holy FUCK.

And then third place goes to Chandrelle, which to be fair, she's the only remaining reoccurring female character with a design. So, her getting third doesn't surprise me, especially since she's up against Sado and Rebecha.

And also shout out to my girlfriend, who voted every single female character. Without her, Catarina, Town Girl, Trish, and The Kraken would be forgotten about. Which, fair. Catarina appears the most out of the four by a whopping, what, 5 or so times? Maybe 6 or 7. Actually now that I'm thinking about it she does kinda pop up a considerable amount. Huh. Anyways,

Dilf Responses

And surprising no one at all with who got the most votes for this,

Rust! Who's winning by a whopping 60%! Good on him, he's earned it, despite technically not having a kid anymo-

And while Reggie getting a couple votes doesn't surprise me, VERY surprised to see the gay dads both get a vote each. By different people, too! But they've been through a lot, they've earned it.

Genderless Swag Results

A simpler one than above, but the canon nonbinary/agender character vs the one who's commonly hc'ed to be nonbinary.

I'm not really surprised. I mean, Steambot Willy's never acknowledged by the fans meanwhile FPP obviously is, so hey! I'm just happy to see Steambot Willy managed to score two votes. Good on them <3

Babygirl Results

Now. Usually, this is where I'd insert an image, and continue on talking about it. But. For some reason, the short answer question results are formatted like. This.

So. I'll just list them

Lazarus: 6 votes

Lionel: 1 vote

Rust: 1 vote

I'm not surprised Lazarus is #1 babygirl, I mean LOOK AT HIM. Like one person said, he's a pathetic wet cat of a man. Absolute sopping wet piece of paper towel. He is THE malewife AND babygirl. No one's doing it like him. AND he scored second on the Sexyman section. Shout out to him fr, I'm so proud of him

Twink Results

Wizarro: 3 votes (Deserved. I mean, look at him)

Moji: 2 votes (Personality wise? Yeah I can see it)

Junior: 1 vote (Like father like son, ig?)

Rust: 1 (Fair. His dietary options in the Wastes couldn't have been the best)

Irving on account of people don't know what a twink is: 1 vote (God, yeah,,,Granted skinny dudes always get beef'd so ig it's a 2 way street. If the fandom was popular, Irving would DEFINITELY be woobified, though)

Reggie: 1 vote (Yeah fair he can't exercise and his diet probably consists mostly of fucking root beer. What the fuck, Reggie)

Closing Statement Or Whatever Idfk

And THAT, everyone, is the results. Obviously Lazarus got 10 votes on malewife, he was the only option because really, who's a better option than him? So he doesn't get his own section on that, but yeah! Again, I'll post the typed up explanations if people want me to, up to you guys! But that's about it for now. Expect some celebratory art for Irving soon

#the hex #the hex game #scov.txt #im never doing this again /j #im not tagging everyone. thats too much #daniel mullins games #this has been a scientific experiment brought to yall by urs truly. im gonna go collapse now #the hex sexyman results #tagged in case anyone wants to find them in the future #including myself in case i edit this

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