#his dad went off and reconciled with his brother - therefore making marcus' very EXISTENCE obsolete

[dezwade]

started thinking about Marcus too hard again. 50 dead, 100 injured

#!!! #like he was just a KID. he was fucking FIFTEEN and he died because his own DAD didnt see him as a person #he was too human to complete his missions because again he was a fucking kid #of course he was going to be petty and let his emotions get in the way #but he wasnt human enough for his dad who literally refers to him as a weapon and only saw him as a convenient replacement. #a means to end that could be discarded once he fulfilled his purpose #douglas knew he was going to die but did fuck all to stop it #but marcus doesnt know that and doesnt know families arent supposed to be full of thinning ice and conditional love #he thinks that their pizza nights and douglas' stage dad behavior actually MEAN something #and its not just douglas using him as a way to temporarily fill the void donald made when he took ab&c #so he dies in a last ditch attempt to see his dad's plan through and prove hes good enough #and then #hes not dead? #hes not dead and its two years later than its supposed to be and his dad never fucking came back for him #his dad went off and reconciled with his brother - therefore making marcus' very EXISTENCE obsolete #- even though it was supposed to them against donald. them against the world #but it turns out that was just another fucking lie #and now the world's moved on without him and he doesnt even recognize his own body #and theres this woman who says that she saved him and is offering revenge and (to him) a new family in one fell swoop #and heres the thing: she saved him. she went out of her way to find him and repair him which is more than douglas ever did #so what is supposed to do? say no? #shake off years of being taught that when someone wrongs you you have fight tooth and nail for revenge? #douglas has had two years to grow as a person but from marcus' perspective its only been a couple of days #hes never been given the time or chance to learn anything besides bloodshed and violence. #to see himself as anything beaides a force of destuction #so of course he says yes and of course it all goes wrong #and he dies and no one grieves and his own dad CELEBRATES his murder like this whole thing wasnt his fault in the first place #and just #yeah he did some fucked up things but he wasnt worse than douglas #and how can you hold a teenager to higher standards than the man that raised him